Finding Power in Change, Fear and Authenticity: Insights from a Shaman's Journey

In this episode of the Space Between podcast, we dive into a candid conversation about my personal journey of healing and growth, exploring topics like fear of death, permission to be oneself, and embracing change. I share insights gained from my spiritual journey and how it transformed my perspective on life's challenges. From childhood anxieties to present-day self-discovery, I offer relatable anecdotes and empowering wisdom for listeners navigating their own paths of healing and self-discovery.

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Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:10

Be honest. You know deep down you're here for more. You feel the calling, there's something you're here to do. But as soon as you start working on yourself, life interrupts and you're zapped back to reality. You feel like you're stuck in the messy middle, the space between being a mum and this deeply profound spiritual being. But what if I told you you don't have to choose one side or the other, that you can exist in both.

Speaker 1: 0:31

Hi, I'm Kate. I'm a NeuroSpicy, conscious Mama, human Design Projector and Shaman here to guide you into raising the vibration of the collective, one small practice at a time. I invite you to let me guide you on this journey of growth, healing and expansion. I'll equip you with the tools and the resources to be your own healer, to strengthen your discernment and give you the actual, tangible embodiment pieces that you can apply in your day to day life. And little moments between making dinner, picking up your kids or whatever it is for you, because your spiritual growth doesn't have to be another thing on your to-do list. Pop your earbuds in and let's pretend each episode is our weekly commitment to join each other on my virtual couch for deep conversations about things like how the Patriarchy serves no one, embracing your feminine energy in an actual, tangible way, and what it's like to actually break generational trauma so you can know yourself deeply, shed your old self and move into this new paradigm and let your spiritual growth sit in a box collecting dust in the attic of your mind. Let's navigate it together in the space between.

Speaker 1: 1:29

Hello and welcome to another episode of the Space Between podcast. I am really excited to have a conversation with you today. This feels a little bit more like grab a cup of coffee or your favorite beverage and let's just like sit back, chill out. I have been sitting here and, as the more podcast episodes like this is a journey for me to do right, so the more podcast episodes I put out, the more I'm just being able to dive into, like some of these juicy conversations that I want to have. That's just what's on my heart, so I'm just sharing and it's just spilling out of me, so I'm really, really excited. So what I want to talk about today is things that my spiritual journey, my healing growth journey, opened up for me, things that used to feel resistant or sticky or disempowering, and how that shifted for me. I think there's some nuggets. I know there's some nuggets of wisdom in here for some of you that you're going to resonate with I. Just it feels like a really powerful conversation to have. So so sit back, relax, pop your earbuds out, in whatever you're doing, just let's just have a, have a conversation around the power of doing this work, of going on this journey. So I'm going to start out right out of the gate. You wouldn't expect anything less from me, I hope, at this point. So the first thing that I'm going to speak to is my fear of death, okay, and I and I want to share this because it's come up a lot, and so it's a conversation I know a lot of you are probably having with yourselves. A lot of people that I work with come to me and they have this fear of death, okay. So, again, this is my unique perspective. Okay, some of the things I say people are not going to like, and that's fine, you're welcome, I'm going to stay. So.

Speaker 1: 3:19

As a child, I remember being so, so terrified of dying, just this, like vastness of that. I had no idea what was going to happen. I had no idea what, what happened, right, and it would make me up at night and no-transcript. I would have anxiety and panic attacks during as a kid. I remember being hyperventilating. Now, I'm not too proud to say that this is something that has stayed with me up until I started on this journey. I remember being a parent like a new mom. I would say that this fear has only left me in the last five, six years. Okay, I remember just moments where I'd start thinking about it. I'm like I can't think about that and I would just go into full on panic. Full on panic. Okay, my muscle memory is like remembering those moments Just this, it's done and there's nothing you can do about it and it's just like it happens. Okay, and I hope I'm not making anyone else panic.

Speaker 1: 4:21

But when I started on this journey, it gave me hope.

Speaker 1: 4:28

It gave me a unique perspective that there is more than just this. There is a point, okay, knowing that I'm here for a reason, knowing that I'm a soul, knowing that I'm a spirit who's come here and this is my belief, my unique perspective, right, this is what I believe in. I invite you into this if you're not already on this, but knowing that I am here for a reason, to do a certain thing. Starting to do past life regressions really helped me to understand, right, this isn't it. Right, I'm here for a reason at this time and I've done this before and I've done this lifetimes before. Right, so, knowing that this is one episode of the video game and, just like Jumanji, I'm gonna die and I'm gonna go back again and we're just gonna keep going and that's what we're gonna do, right, and so it allowed me to connect into this greater reason for things. Right, I was like this, ain't it? And even if it is right, maybe I'm completely dalooloo, who knows but like, it gives me peace.

Speaker 1: 5:37

I know I'm so connected to what lies on the other side as a Jaman right, that's my job to connect in with what's on the other side. I have a great relationship with what's on the other side. We talk often and it's just, it's not this one thing. Right, it isn't just we're here and then that's it. I have a soul, family, right, the people that are in my life that we agree to do this again for some reason. Right, my kids are here to teach me lessons. We've done this before. Right, I joke about that with them. I'm like, well, you were my mom once. Like that's so cool, but I'm your mom in this life, so you have to listen to me when I tell you to clean your room, please go do it. I'll sit here and body double with you.

Speaker 1: 6:22

So just knowing that there's more beyond, okay, past life regression my journey as a nurse, right, like it has brought so much full circle moments to me and that it's just, it's a continuation, it's a continuum, right, I'm here to do certain things on this journey, to do this growth, to come back again or who knows, maybe I'll go somewhere else, but just starting to tap into all the different ways that I've existed in many forms in many worlds in many lifetimes helped me to make peace with that. Okay, doing my work as a shaman lots of journeys we went on, you know, past life regression but then also tapping into, like, your soul brothers and sisters, your soul family, your celestial parents all of that really supported me on that journey even more so. A conversation I never thought I'd have on a podcast, but that's cool Wanted to share that with you. How doing this work and tapping into what's available to me helped me to stand stronger in my calmness around death, okay, and started and helped me to step into even greater ways that I could allow death in my life. I talked about it on the last episode, allowing death within your own identities and shedding pieces of you that are no longer in alignment. How can you sit in the discomfort of the change of seasons within your life, business, motherhood, whatever, friendships, all of it? Right, it's all cyclical, okay, it's all cyclical, okay. The next one I wanna talk to you is about permission, being yourself. Okay, and I've spoke to this on multiple episodes.

Speaker 1: 8:00

When I started stepping into I did step into new age, spirituality, like human design, all of those things, systems that I could start to understand myself with. Right, having ADHD, I always felt different. I always felt like I can't fit in this mold. Right, like I'm supposed to be this way, but everything I have has resistance against existing in this certain box. It was for a reason, right, knowing that I made this way. There's certain pieces of me, the pieces that I find cringe, the pieces of me that I I love now, but I didn't like that. I was like I need to change this, realizing I was made this way and this is maybe controversial, whoever's listening but the more that I find pieces of, I would say, adhd traits that show up in my astrology makes me giggle.

Speaker 1: 8:44

I'm like it's literally in my energetic blueprint, and maybe some people won't agree with that, but that's what I'm finding and I find it very, very interesting okay, very, very interesting that I'm like this is who I am, and the more that I can understand all the ways in which I'm completely imperfect and ridiculous and so nuanced. I constantly find myself waking up being like who am I gonna be today? Who do I feel like being today and embracing all of it? I feel like a walking contradiction 99% of the time. Okay, I'm a projector with ADHD, so I feel like I'm walking around with my foot on the gas and the brake at the same time. Okay, I have very interesting energy. I have a. So my big three, I mean, I'm just gonna share this because it's fun for me.

Speaker 1: 9:30

I love astrology. I didn't realize how much I lean into that as a system, but it's really, really empowering for me. So I have a sadge moon, you know like I feel that restlessness. I have a Sagittarius and a Gemini and an Aries stellium in my chart. So I'm fiery, right, I'm spicy and I am bold, and I don't always embrace that. I'm in the process of embracing more of my boldness, so stay tuned for that.

Speaker 1: 9:55

I'm a little bit of a time here, but just really really showing up as that authentic self, right, just it's just like. I just feel like astrology is a permission slip. I feel like human design is a permission slip, right, and it's supposed to be empowering, right, like I know there's a lot of narratives out there around. Well, I have this placement, so then I can't do this. It's like no girl, no, that's not it, right, it's to feel empowered. And when I'm feeling restless, I'm like, okay, I need to jump in the car and go for a drive and crank my music. That's what fills my cup in that way.

Speaker 1: 10:26

Right, allowing myself to step into all of these ways that I'm so, so complex that I'm such a contradiction and it's all perfect and it's all beautiful, and knowing that I really am so unique, like I am not like anybody else on this planet, like how cool is that? We really are so, so unique. And the more that I've done this growth and the more that I've learned about myself and the more that I'm like, wait a second, this is showing up in me for a reason, because it's how I'm supposed to like, how I show up in the world, and that's perfect and beautiful and it is the medicine and it is the magic, and that is the point, right, and that everybody has a role and everybody serves their purpose and everybody is so different and that's the point and I just I really, really love that. I really really love that for you and I really really love it for me and I really love it for all of us collectively. We're all little pieces of this puzzle and it's so cool and we're all connected, right. I love that. I love that for us.

Speaker 1: 11:22

Okay, now, this is gonna kind of feel like it talks about the first point, but the fact that everything is constantly changing. Everything emits and flows. Nothing is permanent, okay, nothing is permanent. Everything changed. There's a cycle to everything. As you know someone with ADHD I don't like change. Okay, I don't like change. I'm a tourist son. I'm stubborn. I don't like change, okay. So this is my growth edge is like being comfortable with things changing constantly.

Speaker 1: 11:54

But what changed for me on this growth journey was like I remember thinking back, like I would say five years ago, and knowing there was these parts of me you know my trauma, unhealed things where I was just like this is how it is right. And when I started doing this work, I was like, oh my gosh, I can change. I can change my relationship with anything. I can feel more empowered with a perspective shift. Like what? Like you're telling me that if I'm sitting there looking at you and you're looking at a six and I'm looking at a nine, and it's all about our perspective, and if we wanna change something like that, we can change our relationship to it just by simply shifting our perspective and the way we look at it. Like what? How cool is that, how amazing is that, how empowering is that.

Speaker 1: 12:41

That means that if, when things happen to you, or if things happen to you, they do not have to have a hold on you, you get to decide that. You get to decide the power it holds over you. You get to decide to go on that journey and do that healing to release things that have happened to you, happened for you. Again, that's nuanced, always nuanced. People go through horrible things in their lives and I never, ever want to brush past that with talks of positivity. Okay, this is nuanced. You know that you feel my heart on this. I know you do, but you have the power to look at a situation and change your relationship to it, heal from it, learn from it, share your journey with others. Like damn, how amazing is that. How amazing is that that power is available to you, that you get to decide your energy leaks. You get to decide what has power over you you get to decide to. You get to decide to shift and change and grow and expand that that's available to you. How freaking awesome is that? Okay so, just a recap. So shifting you really ship with death, greater permission to be yourself, and also that nothing is permanent. Changes, constant stepping into the cyclical nature of things, so, so powerful.

Speaker 1: 14:03

This feels like a little bit of a hodgepodge episode, but it's something I wanted to put out there. It was really fun for me to record this, so I hope that there were some nuggets of wisdom or just Relatability in any of that. I'd love to hear more about you. I'm in astrology. I love it. I love it. So send me a message on Instagram. Let me know your big three, if you know. Let me know what current Astrological placement you're currently looking at, maybe pieces of your human design that you're interested in.

Speaker 1: 14:28

I'm currently on my journey of stepping and embracing more of my Aries energy, so I guess I need to go shopping, maybe find some more red. So stay tuned for that. Send me a message on Instagram. Let's have a conversation about this episode, what you loved, what were your takeaways, and again, you can send me a message below on SpeakPipe. You can send me a voice note right there. It's really great. I hope that you enjoyed this episode. Share it with others if you feel called to, and we'll see you next week on this Face. Between Bye you.