Embracing the Journey of Grief: Tools for Healing and Personal Transformation
May 15, 2024
Kate Ikert
Have you ever found yourself standing at the crossroads of heartache and hope, unsure of how to forge ahead? That's where I was when I realized grief isn't confined to the loss of loved ones but is a profound journey towards personal transformation. Join me, Kate, as we traverse the landscapes of loss, healing, and growth, offering a heartfelt exploration into the true nature of grief. This episode doesn't shy away from the discomfort of change; instead, it invites liberation through the art of letting go. Our discussion provides you with the tools and encouragement needed to embrace grief not as an end, but as a powerful catalyst for conscious healing.
We delve into shadow work and energy work, unveiling their roles as change agents in our journey. I share the profound impact of the 'dark night of the soul' on my own path to enlightenment, to illustrate how we can all navigate through darkness to discover our true potential. By the end of our time together, you'll find an invitation to join a community that honors the cycles of life and death intrinsic to our existence, and together, we'll step into a brighter, more fulfilling future. Whether you're seeking solace or the courage to transform, this conversation is a reminder that in letting go, we find ourselves.
Have you ever found yourself standing at the crossroads of heartache and hope, unsure of how to forge ahead? That's where I was when I realized grief isn't confined to the loss of loved ones but is a profound journey towards personal transformation. Join me, Kate, as we traverse the landscapes of loss, healing, and growth, offering a heartfelt exploration into the true nature of grief. This episode doesn't shy away from the discomfort of change; instead, it invites liberation through the art of letting go. Our discussion provides you with the tools and encouragement needed to embrace grief not as an end, but as a powerful catalyst for conscious healing.
We delve into shadow work and energy work, unveiling their roles as change agents in our journey. I share the profound impact of the 'dark night of the soul' on my own path to enlightenment, to illustrate how we can all navigate through darkness to discover our true potential. By the end of our time together, you'll find an invitation to join a community that honors the cycles of life and death intrinsic to our existence, and together, we'll step into a brighter, more fulfilling future. Whether you're seeking solace or the courage to transform, this conversation is a reminder that in letting go, we find ourselves.
Be honest. You know deep down you're here for more. You feel the calling, there's something you're here to do. But as soon as you start working on yourself, life interrupts and you're zapped back to reality. You feel like you're stuck in the messy middle, the space between being a mom and this deeply profound spiritual being. But what if I told you you don't have to choose one side or the other, that you can exist in both.
Speaker 1:
Hi, I'm Kate. I'm a NeuroSpicy conscious mama, human design projector and shaman here to guide you into raising the vibration of the collective, one small practice at a time. I invite you to let me guide you on this journey of growth, healing and expansion. I'll equip you with the tools and the resources to be your own healer, to strengthen your discernment and give you the actual, tangible embodiment pieces that you can apply in your day-to-day life, in the little moments between making dinner, picking up your kids or whatever it is for you, because your spiritual growth doesn't have to be another thing on your to-do list. Pop your earbuds in and let's pretend each episode is our weekly commitment to join each other on my virtual couch for deep conversations about things like how the patriarchy serves no one, embracing your feminine energy in an actual, tangible way and what it's like to actually break generational trauma so you can know yourself deeply, shed your old self and move into this new paradigm. Don't let your spiritual growth sit in a box collecting dust in the attic of your mind. Let's navigate it together in the space between.
Speaker 1:
All right, hello, and welcome to another episode of the Space Between podcast. All right, I want to have a conversation with you today all around the idea of grief and conscious grieving. We're just going to get right into it, the idea of grief. Okay, so, due to our lovely society that we live in, this patriarchal society, we're not really in touch with the fact that things change and there's the natural process of death and rebirth and all of these things, so our relationship to grief is fairly strained, and so my hope for you by the end of this episode is that you maybe change your perspective on grief, maybe start to take some shifts towards allowing grief into your life, to release things that no longer serve you, to go through the natural process of allowing things in that serve you, right, and so when we think of grief, typically, you know if you haven't gone down this journey or this process. It's very much this like grieving the death of a loved one, right, there is no silver lining. You have lost someone that's important to you and that's very, very real. So, because of that, because we live in a society that you know, the only time that we sit with and acknowledge grief is through the death of someone we care about, it's no wonder that we have such a hard time navigating the natural death and rebirth cycles that we experience in this human existence, right, and so when I first started out on my journey, right, I did not have a healthy relationship with grief. It was.
Speaker 1:
You know, why would we put ourselves into this pain for no reason? Right? Why would we allow ourselves to feel uncomfortable feelings with what maybe feels like that? There's no positive on the other side? Right, and that's the part I want to have a conversation around and invite you into is that the inevitable letting go of something no longer serves you to bring in what you want, right? So this grief has a purpose, right? Typically, when we talk about grief, there is no purpose behind it. Right, that somebody that we love has you know, we've lost and that's it. It's sad, it's hard, and so when I talk about conscious grieving.
Speaker 1:
I talk about the idea of allowing grief in as this natural alchemy and this natural transcension and transformation. So when I first started out on my journey, I had a hard time with this as I've worked with many clients. Same idea, this idea of letting go is very uncomfortable. So I always like to invite them into basics of releasing and getting used to the idea and concepts of change. And I've talked about this before. It was the cornerstone of my practice at the very beginning was allowing in these shifts and changes, right. So how can I embrace my cycle, how can I embrace the cycles of the moon and how can I embrace my emotions, all supporting me on this process of allowing my brain to get used to the idea of things changing, allowing my brain to get on board with the idea that, like, how we feel in one moment is different from the next, and that's okay and this is normal. And normalizing that change within ourselves, within our systems, within our lives, just makes it easier. For when we start to do, you know a lot of that, a lot of the heavier lifting when it comes to the journey we're on, the transformation that we're on. So that would be my recommendation to you If you're newer on this journey and you're like I don't know how to you know, I know that there's some bigger things I need to release.
Speaker 1:
There's some identity work or there's some parts work you need to do. There's some bigger experiences, maybe some traumas, some things that are you know we're holding you back, right, the idea of that like suitcase that you need to unpack but you're not quite sure feels a little scary, super uncomfortable, right, all of those things. A really great way, if you're newer on this journey, is to just get used to that idea of like, what can I release? What can I release in a healthy way? That feels really good. I always like to go back to the idea of like decluttering. I don't know about you. I can't be the only one that has an old box from my phone that I'm still holding onto that I don't need. Like, I don't need those, you're never going to use it. Just start to like, pick five things and just like realize how much better you feel after releasing those five things, five pieces of whatever clothing, whatever.
Speaker 1:
It's a really great way again to get your brain on board and normalizing this idea of releasing. You can't receive with a closed fist, so if you want to bring in something that you want, you need to let go of something that no longer serves you. Okay, so that's what we're doing here. And in that process, that natural process of things, there's going to be this process of grief. There's going to maybe be some sadness and some just sitting with these heavy, dense emotions which need to be witnessed, which need to come up right. So that's my first step Start by embracing the moon cycles more, embracing your cycle more, if that feels applicable to you. Start to declutter, start to just get into the habit of your brain getting on board with this idea of releasing things. Okay, so now let's get into the nitty gritty of it, this idea of having a healthier relationship with grief.
Speaker 1:
So, like I said, we live in a society that just doesn't encourage this, right? We don't. We live in a patriarchal society. It's very not of the feminine energy, of the natural changes and cycles of things. So why are we doing this? Why do we need to for lack of a better word get on board with this idea of grief?
Speaker 1:
So, as I had just said, to be able to receive what it is that you want, you have to let go of something that no longer serves you and a lot of the work I'm doing with my clients. They're like I want to feel better, I want to feel lighter, I feel really stuck, things aren't coming in, my manifestations aren't coming to fruition, I don't know what's up, I don't know what to do. And so this is where we start to do the shadow work. Parts of things start to release old trauma, old spirit experiences and bringing things up. Now this is uncomfortable, right? There's no way around it. At the end of the day, the obstacle is the way, right, you can't go around it, you have to go through it and you can't grow in your comfort zone, right? And so you have to experience some of these emotions to be able to move through it.
Speaker 1:
So what I really love about energy work is and I've spoke to this in episodes before is this idea of this catalyst, if you will. So when you're feeling like I'm not really feeling in this momentum, energy work can be that catalyst for this momentum for things to start to shift and move, to then be released. It's really, really powerful in that way, and then you know I can offer you supports and whatnot to start to move through things, and that's what I want to offer you on this episode is a couple tools and things to start to move through this process of grief, but just actually having a conversation around acknowledgement of this process, because I don't think it gets talked about enough. It's all love and light and what we want on the other side, but not the like nitty, gritty, deep, dark things you need to do to get there. It's not pretty. That's why it's called dark night of the soul for a reason, right, and so when you start to shift your relationship to grief, you start to welcome it with open arms.
Speaker 1:
I have this is a big piece of the journey that I've been on in the last few years is just like moving away from relationships that no longer serve me, being in spaces and places where I don't feel seen, heard, validated, respected, any of that right, and so there is a natural grief process to that and it's hard and it doesn't feel like there's a light at the end of the tunnel, if you will, right. But I want to remind you that this pain has a purpose. Right Again, I'm going to go back to the conversation around losing someone that you love. There's grief there that doesn't necessarily have a purpose. Most of the time it doesn't feel like there's a purpose, right, and most time there isn't, it's just, it's sometimes what it is right. This is just the natural progression of things.
Speaker 1:
But when you're starting to look at identities that you've held, roles you've filled, ways that you've shown up in the world that just no longer serve you, and where you're going and the vision you have for yourself and the vision you have for your life, this is a natural part of that process, right? So what I want to invite you into is, if you're feeling stuck on your journey, if you're feeling like things aren't moving, if you're feeling like you know, I'm not really sure I want to invite you into the process of what needs to be released, what needs to be, what's maybe coming up for you. I mean, this is in time, this won't be out before the new moon, but I'm already navigating the new moon thing, so maybe this will still land for you and, again, if you're listening to this down the road, I hope it finds you at the right time. But what is coming up to be released, right? And how can you sit with that? And sometimes there are bigger things that are coming up that need to be released, and so I want to offer you some supports in that grief process. The first one is awareness around it, right, like what is coming up, what needs to be released maybe is feeling like a little bit scary, you're not sure that you can hold it, contain it. Again, I'm here to support you on that journey. If that's something that feels supportive for you, so just reach out to me and we can figure out best ways to work together. So, having an awareness around the fact that there is something that needs to be let go of, right. I go back to this idea of business because it just feels really relatable. You know, if you're maybe in the middle of a pivot right, like you have kind of outgrown this part of you that existed and served you for a while within your business, or you know any role of your life really, and so you need to make peace with and really move through the grief process of letting go of that version of yourself to be able to step into something else, right, and so, as with anything, again, take whatever serves you and leave the rest. When you are navigating this and when you're going through this idea, a lot of it does feel really dense and really heavy, right, and it can be.
Speaker 1:
The tool that I want to equip you with on today's podcast is something that can feel really nourishing, really supportive, while you go through this process and journey, whatever it is that you're that you're grieving, whatever it is that you're moving through, whatever it is that you're releasing. So in my training that I received as a Peruvian shaman, it's this thing called a grief bundle. So what you do is you can support yourself by going on a walk in nature, gathering sticks, gathering leaves, gathering anything that can be later put into a fire, if this feels nourishing for you. Now again, if some of this doesn't make sense, reach out to me and I can support you further with this. But what you can do is you can start to wrap all these things into a bundle. You can bundle up with ribbon, twine, whatever feels supportive, and put it into this little bundle. And for you know, you can do it for seven days, you can do it for 21 days. Just use your intuition here and start to sit with what feels good for you, play around with it. There's no wrong way to do this. Okay, and that's what I want to invite you into is there is no wrong way to do this, but using this bundle as a way to put all this energy into something. So write a letter, write you know and wrap it up up into this bundle.
Speaker 1:
Whatever it is that you're releasing, blow into it, okay, create this little grief altar if you will, and it's just a really great way to transform and transmute some of this energy, to alchemize all of it and at the end of that seven days or 21 days or whatever feels good for you, I want you to um to put this in a fire, okay. So if you have access to that, that's something that could be really nourishing. Again, you can be safety mindful with this as well. We're getting into the summer, so hopefully you're in and around a campfire to be able to do this. But just allow yourself to release some of these things and the energy of nature, of mother earth, of Pachamama, to be able to support you on this death and rebirth journey of releasing these things. It's very, very powerful. It's really, really potent.
Speaker 1:
To be able to have a place for this energy to go and to be able to release it with fire is just a really, really beautiful way to do things. It can be a really beautiful ceremony, a really beautiful ritual and a really great way to do things. It can be a really beautiful ceremony, a really beautiful ritual and a really great way to support yourself and feel supported. You're calling in the elements here, right, and if you missed my episode on the elements, go check that one out. But I speak to that energy here. Healing your relationship with grief is going to further support you.
Speaker 1:
This idea of quantum leaps, if you will, of moving through things quicker, if you can identify and recognize and hold space for yourself as you're like, wait a second, there's something here I need to let go of in order to step into what I want or move forward in a different way, or set a different boundary or whatever it is right To be able to do that. You really have to acknowledge that there's maybe something that you need to let go of to move forward, and so I hope that this was supportive in just allowing a bigger conversation. Maybe something that you haven't thought about, right, is how can I start to have a better, more healthy, more functional relationship with grief and allow it to walk alongside me, right? How can I, maybe when I'm experiencing some big emotions or something that feels a little bit sticky or dense or whatever. How can I maybe see that this is something you know? My seven year old self was maybe holding on to this idea of a dream or something, and how can I support her on that?
Speaker 1:
Again, I want to encourage you to have support on this journey, because no one should do this work alone. So, whether that's with a therapist or with a friend or in a community setting or with myself or whatever it is, feeling supported on this journey is important. It's already can feel lonely enough as it is, so I want to encourage you to tap into some sort of support as you navigate this. I just want to leave you with thinking about this in a different way, having a different perspective, equipping you with a tool.
Speaker 1:
Again, if there was anything that doesn't make sense to you or you want me to elaborate in any way, shape or form, please reach out to me. You can send me a message below on speakpipe or you can reach out to me on Instagram and we can have a bigger conversation around this. I hope this made sense to you. I hope that it was encouraging to just look at things differently and start to release some things that are no longer serving you, so you can just start to feel a little lighter and release some things to step into what you're truly capable of, your highest potential, all of those wonderful, lovely things. Thanks again for being here. I love you so, so much and we'll chat with you next week. Bye.
