Personal Struggles and Triumphs in LGBTQ Narratives

When faith and identity intersect, the journey can be both enlightening and fraught with complexity. Join us as Sho Whitener welcomes Ty Rashad to share his poignant story of navigating life as an androgynous individual, shaped by harrowing experiences of trauma, molestation, and abandonment. Together, we create a space for respectful dialogue, examining how faith influences identity and the balance of masculine and feminine traits. Ty’s narrative offers a unique insight into the personal struggles and triumphs within the LGBTQ community.

Our conversation broadens to explore the diverse spectrum of LGBTQ identities. We delve into the distinctions between lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer, and the societal implications of these labels. By reflecting on the tension between acceptance and ostracism, we discuss how the community evolves and the importance of preserving its integrity amidst external influences. This episode navigates the fine line between personal identity and societal perception, offering a thoughtful critique of the LGBTQ acronym's ever-expanding nature.

Gender identity and expression form the crux of our final discussions. From the inclusion of groups like asexual and ally to the immutable aspects of biological gender, we delve into the nuanced landscape of identity. We address the challenges of using pronouns such as "they/them" and the impact of fashion on personal expression. Through insightful anecdotes, we highlight the struggles and victories of those who don’t fit traditional gender categories, emphasizing the importance of acceptance and understanding. Tune in for a heartfelt and thought-provoking episode of "So You Think You’re Gay.

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Why is it so many alphabets? It's like it changes every day. We're going to talk about why there's so many alphabets.

Speaker 2: 0:04

We're going to talk about how the world takes everything that can't be normalized to them and puts it in a box that they can then understand. That's what we're going to talk about, but we're not going to talk about that right now. We're going to start the cut and action tape.

Speaker 1: 0:16

Man. Lower your vocal cords. You're loud, You're going. What does God say about this? How did you get here? Who gave this to you? Don't you even know how this?

Speaker 3: 0:27

came to be. Can you live like this? For real, for real, what does?

Speaker 1: 0:33

God say about this? So you think you're gay? What's up everybody. I'm your host, shal White, and you are tuning in to the podcast. So you think you're gay?

Speaker 1: 0:49

This platform is strictly for exploring the lgbtq community and people who reside within it. I myself used to be a part of the community. I am a christian and I do believe that you can come away from it. I do believe that it's not god's best a Christian, and I do believe that you can come away from it. I do believe that it's not God's best for you and I do believe you can be delivered. Now, here's the deal. I'm not bashing.

Speaker 1: 1:11

This platform is a loving platform. I want to know people's stories. I want to hear how you got to where you are, why you are the way you are, and do you plan on standing that way. So this podcast you're definitely going to hear a lot of truths. You're going to hear a lot of disagreements, and that's fine, you know. It doesn't mean that I don't love you or we don't love each other. We just disagree. If you choose to live the lifestyle, that's great. I want to know why, how, who made you? Why Do you plan on standing that way? Whatever the case may be. We're going to talk about it all right here on this platform. So thanks for tuning in.

Speaker 1: 1:45

I have somebody that's in the studio today. Are you an active part of the LGBT community or are you like, foot in foot out I'm foot in, foot out, he's foot in foot out. Are you a Christian? I'm a Christian, he's a Christian and he believes in. Now I'm two foot in the Christian, okay, and so we're going to be going back and forth. Right, he has a story, I have a story, and this is Ty Rashad, ty Rashad, right and, and, and he Can y'all input the applause right there. Right, so you dress is. I don't want to call it drag because I don't want to be offensive, right, so it's called what?

Speaker 2: 2:25

Well, there's a few different terms for that. Today, the term that I grew up with is androgyny. Androgyny, so the androgynous is, like you know, it can be a male or female. That kind of has that balance of both identities, right, you know? And they balance them very well. So that's kind of what I do.

Speaker 1: 2:44

Right, you know, and they balance them very well. So that's kind of what I do Right.

Speaker 2: 2:50

So you do it to where the makeup is. I mean, my God, all right Now, thank you. So, yeah, the makeup me being a makeup artist definitely you know it changes the features of the face and stuff like that. When I say androgyny, I'm definitely speaking of more overall. I'm definitely speaking of more overall and I know that typically androgyny will be the balance as that unit, like you know, in that opinion, both those appearances of me, more feminine and more masculine you should still see those feminine traits when I'm dressed like this. You should see the masculine traits when I'm dressed in the pictures that you'll show me.

Speaker 2: 3:24

All right, but yeah, also also the flip, though the versatility is considered androgyny.

Speaker 1: 3:29

Okay, so this episode is twofold. Okay, so I do have a Patreon that is called the escape room, right, and so the escape room this will be not surface level conversation about the LGBTQ lifestyle, right, but in the escape room we're going to get just a little bit underneath um the surface and dig a little deeper into how we got the way we were. Okay, well, I say were. I don't know where you are in that, but you'll say where. Okay, what I am strictly, honey, understand that there'll be no pause breaks. Okay, there is one way. Okay, jesus is the way, the truth and the life. I feel there is one way and that is man with a woman. All right, okay, anyway. So in the escape room we're going to talk you know how the stories evolved and how we ended up in the lifestyle and then I want to talk about exits. You know what I mean, because here's the thing, not everybody wants to exit the lifestyle.

Speaker 1: 4:33

So we're going to give you a bit of perspective here. We're going to give you some Christian perspective and we're going to give you some life perspectives and some hows and things like that. Life perspectives, and you know some house and you know things like that. So thanks for coming on the show, man. My microphone is really just like sliding down. It's doing the dip, you know, and I don't like it. But thanks for tuning in y'all and we're going to get right into it. So, ty Rashad, so you're one foot in, one foot out. How did you get here? Let's start there.

Speaker 2: 5:11

So how I got here is through trauma. I got here through molestation, abandonment and. I think those are like two of the main issues that had me so consumed that I got wrapped up into whatever I submitted to Right.

Speaker 2: 5:40

And so when I say one foot in and one foot out, you don't wear a mustache and a wig and hide who you are. So I say one foot in and one foot out because I do believe in God. I know that. You know he sent his son to die on the cross for our sins. That's the you know, saving knowledge of Christ, right, and I believe that in my heart. But I'm real about my struggles and I'm living in them, the way that I'm suffering in them. I don't, I don't mask it and and no shade. No shade to the drinker and drink at home. I don't, I can't. Mine is worn on my sleeve, you can see it. So one foot in and one foot out for me just speaks to just because of how I got here.

Speaker 2: 6:24

I choose not to subscribe to my trauma. You know, I feel like laying with a guy. I molest myself every time. I do it because that knowledge of Christ and how to lean and depend on him and how to be delivered. You know the old time church I won't say a religion, but the old time church taught us that deliverance was prayer and poof is gone, you know. So one foot in, one foot out, is you said right now. How did I get here? Now is the fight for my freedom.

Speaker 1: 7:09

Okay, so time out. So we're going to get there, because that's you know, and he's going to be back, you know, frequently, because this is an ongoing conversation. Right, because when you talk about the church and you talk about the LGBTQ community, there's always this major friction there. Right, and everybody has their opinions, you know, but no one really talks about. People talk about it but they don't really explore it. I believe, the way that it should be explored with the love of Christ. Right, because, at the end of the day, everyone, you know you belong to him, so you're his kid. You know you belong to him, so you know you're his kid, so he loves you. Now, he may not agree with what you're doing, but he loves you. Right, so we'll get into that. But I want to get into this first step going around.

Speaker 1: 7:54

Let's talk about the LGBTQ community, like, what is it? Right and and how did it get as big as it is? That's number one. And number two what is it doing to the culture? Because it seems like it's, it's everywhere, and if it's not accepted, then it's one of those things where you're ostracized or you know you're, you're, you're considered bashing or hating. Right, if you're not in support? If you're not in support, right. And then now it's moving into this thing where it's changing a whole people group. You know what I mean. It's like building a whole, nothing different, another different type of human being. Yeah, give me your thoughts on that.

Speaker 2: 8:38

So you say what is it? That was your first question. Yeah, the first question is what is it supposed to be? What was it intended for? It was a. The acronym was to describe a variety of sexualities and people that don't live. Let's not call it the normal, but the standard, the way that was created. Man and woman, life, people that live that life. I feel like have started to put everything in that box of I can't understand, of not normal. So trans, a trans woman, can still like a woman. That makes her a lesbian today. So if a trans woman, a man who turns into a woman, still dates women, she's a lesbian. That could fit in that category. Lgbtq plus community right. But if a trans man is dating a woman and they're straight, if they're dating the opposite gender that they identify as they're straight, why are we putting that in something that identifies alternate lifestyles?

Speaker 1: 10:02

Okay, so wait. So, because I've seen this right, I've seen a woman dressed as a male, correct, I mean straight. You know she low-cut, you know baggy, not on my trans. I'm confused. Okay so, is she trans? Trying to be a boy, right? No?

Speaker 2: 10:21

No, okay, trans. Okay, you're saying trying to be, I'm gonna gonna be so when we speak, I'm gonna be to the day the terms of today, okay, cool. So there you have studs yes, I was a stud. I used to be a stud, okay so studs is more on the lines of acknowledging you're a woman yes accepting that you're a woman got it but you dress to your comfort or you dress masculine, however you want to identify.

Speaker 2: 10:46

Trans is literally the process of transitioning. So hormones, you know, top, bottom surgery, something of that nature. So what I'm saying is going back to the question what is LGBTQ? It's supposed to be an acronym that represents alternate lifestyles and that is supposed to be in sexuality.

Speaker 1: 11:09

Okay.

Speaker 2: 11:10

L, lesbian, B, bi, g, gay and T was trans, right? If you let me go all the way back to it, I don't feel like a trans should be compared to the community. If that's what LGBTQ is for, queer is supposed to be a straight man that dresses up, but that's not normal. Do you get where I'm going with that Right? So, because of a community, it cannot understand it. What they do is they put it in this box and so now you have Q, you got you got a L M N O P.

Speaker 1: 11:38

You know, yeah, because I'm. I was trying to understand how, you know, back in the day it was either you're gay or you're not You're gay or you're not. Right, and so then now there's. It seems like there's an alphabet added every day.

Speaker 2: 11:49

Yeah, and it's like people that don't live in this community have added to that as well. Like this isn't all lesbians, gay, bi, trans, queer people that agree to these new things.

Speaker 1: 12:03

So who's doing the naming?

Speaker 2: 12:05

Oh, now I see you too far, too far too deep, now too far too deep. Where I want to go to answer your question is what is LGBTQIA? It's a scheme.

Speaker 1: 12:16

Now, that's a whole other type of talk. Wait a minute Before we get there Now are we the scheme Right?

Speaker 2: 12:22

Well, we have allowed our blindness and lust and hurt indulging in. I'm hurt by women and I'm a woman, so I'm running to a woman. We've allowed this thing to take control over our community. You know what I mean.

Speaker 1: 12:40

And now it's being used for something that Now, when you say our community, you're speaking to LGBTQ. Okay, I'm speaking in that term. Yeah, right, so you're saying that the LGBTQ community has allowed. We have not protected ourselves. You have not protected yourselves. Yeah, as it pertains to the enemy. The enemy, who's the enemy?

Speaker 2: 13:07

The devil Right. He is using this community to distract. That's what he has access to your mind. He is using this thing to distract the world right now. Right so then I'm not calling gay people demonic.

Speaker 1: 13:24

Now here's my question Calling us foolish Right Now. Here's my calling gay people. Now here's my. Here's my question Calling us foolish Right Now. Here's my question Is the LGBTQ community legitimate, but what do you?

Speaker 2: 13:35

mean, here's the deal.

Speaker 1: 13:36

Here's the deal, ok, so we're Christians, right? God made you in his image and his likeness, right, he created male and female image and his likeness, right, he created male and female, right, created the. He them. Genesis, chapter one, two. So you know, we all wear makeup and we all, you know, enhance ourselves. Right, but there's a difference between enhancing and becoming something else, correct, right? So then, if the LGBTQ community if it is to me, I think is is is fraudulent in this regard. There's a force that's wanting you to be something different, to go against what you naturally are, are like everyone's conforming to. Oh, if this person calls himself a man and they're not, then they're a man Technically. They're not and they will never be because you cannot scrub your DNA, correct, correct? So then, is it fraudulent in the regards of you're attempting to? It's like when? It's like playing Halloween every day?

Speaker 2: 14:47

Yeah.

Speaker 1: 14:48

It's like everyday Halloween.

Speaker 2: 14:49

I can't disagree with you as a person who does it.

Speaker 1: 14:52

Right. I can't disagree with you Because you have to get up and and go against your natural reactions. Natural functions, right To become something else, right. Right and that is the the scenario that you're asking? Is it legitimate?

Speaker 2: 15:10

is it legitimate? Is the community legitimate? Answer the question there. I mean in that in that regard, no, it's not. Now I know you, so I know that you take that when you say community then you take it as a whole. When I answer, I'm more speaking on like physically getting up changing who I was, from who I was intended to be to who I feel that I am. But if we're being blatant, yeah, even laying with the same sex is not legitimate. No, because okay, it's nothing but a it's. It's a, it's reacting on you know lust and emotion and you know what I mean and and and a lot of times, trauma.

Speaker 1: 15:54

That's the key word trauma. I had some, you know. So I started a whole. I started this platform because I really um again, I was a part of the LGBTQ community before. It was LGBTQIA plus and all of that. You know it was just straight or no, right. You know what I mean Straight or gay, that's what it was, Right. And this was about 20, some years ago, Okay and so. But when I was a part of the community, everything was based on, you figure, the root causes of this is, you know, rejection, trauma. You know things that happen along your journey in your story, Right. And so I started this platform because I really wanted to bridge the gap, because there's so much bashing, Right, and I think the world has has confused disagreement with bashing.

Speaker 2: 16:44

Yeah.

Speaker 1: 16:44

Right and I think that's a little bit of a fear, conforming to sensitivity and yeah, you know. It's sensory, really it is. You know, I can't, I want to censor you to how much you can say, but then there's a big People demand respect, and I mean acceptance instead of respect.

Speaker 2: 17:01

Right, and that's really what the problem is. Right, and that's really what the problem is Right. And that's why I don't have a lot of those problems, right, because you ain't got to like me, right, or what I do, right, you know all you got to do is give me I mean the ground level of respect, right, you know what I mean. Right, if I make you uncomfortable and I come in the room, you ain't in my room, but respect is, excuse me if you about to step over my foot to pass me.

Speaker 2: 17:25

You understand what I mean, I think a lot of people even outside of this if we just stopped trying to look for that stamp of approval or normalcy through acceptance and actually create it within yourself. Let's be real I'm not happy with the way that I live on that foot. That's out, you know.

Speaker 1: 17:49

But at the same time, you know, I'm glad you said that because, again, I started the platforms right on Instagram, ig, tiktok, and, and, and and all kinds of places Right, and I had so many people jump on. I'm happy to where I am, I'm, I'm, I enjoy this. I was born this way and I had so many people jump on. I'm happy the way I am, I enjoy this. I was born this way and and that's what I said, I'm like because I remember when I was in it you know, it's like you're complicit, it's like this is, this is tormenting.

Speaker 2: 18:15

It was funny is a lot of the conversations to be had, you know, going forward, even a lot of people, a lot of people in my community won't like my response because it I, they people think I'm teeter, tottering and, and you know, straddling the fence, but in reality, um, to the point that I was just making it. It's like, uh, even with me not being happy on that one foot out, I'm confident in who. I am Right and I and I know what's right from wrong. You know, and if you take your church hurt out, you take your life hurt, your traumas out and you look at the world in a perspective of selfishness to make a better you, you won't have time to worry about people's opinion. The only thing that will matter is law and Bible, you know, and the literal and that's. I can't procreate with a man. You cannot.

Speaker 2: 19:09

It was not intended, it was not. There is right from wrong. There is People ostracize gay right from drunk right. Drug right from gay right. You know. Killing right from gay right. People do that, not God Right. And if you see it that way, for what it is, you'll spend more time working on yourself.

Speaker 1: 19:29

Well see, I think the thing is people, they, you have to see something, you have to you have to see it as being wrong, right, and I think in this culture they've embraced it so much that it's no, it's's not about being wrong, it's it's, it's acceptance, right. And so you have people who would normally be rejected, but here's just this, this community, that's all inclusive, right, that's like you know. Hey, come over here. That people group don't like you, come over here, and that's offensive to me as the foot that's in.

Speaker 2: 20:01

Don't like that, right, you know what I'm saying. But the whole movement was built off of that. I mean, yeah, yeah, you right, you right. I guess I didn't have that knowledge back then. Yeah, but today, having it, I don't like everything new. Because what's the A for? Is that an ally? If that is what that's for, y'all need to stay where y'all at and support from the back, like you're supposed to. I don't know if that's what I think is asexual, actually, I'm just thinking about it. But it's just like stuff like that, like I just don't think it, just because you don't fit in the world's sense of normalcy, that you should just be into this.

Speaker 1: 20:34

So what you're saying is when things arise and the world or the powers that be don't understand what it is, they lump them into the LGBT community.

Speaker 2: 20:46

Yeah, because I know there's a trans out here, offended that they're labeled as LGBTQ and they identify as a straight woman.

Speaker 1: 20:57

Now you said a straight woman. So you're saying you can be trans.

Speaker 2: 21:03

There's a man that turned into a woman.

Speaker 1: 21:06

Like RuPaul.

Speaker 2: 21:07

Okay, that's a drag queen, but good idea, right? So there's someone that lives like that day in and day out and they just want to be identified as a straight woman that they've paid and worked to become, but they're automatically identified as Okay, wait. So you're saying a trans man Is a woman to man, so let's go. I'm so confused, let's bring you up to knowledge. Okay, here we go.

Speaker 1: 21:37

You are a woman. I am all woman, baby, all woman. First of all science. Don't a cis woman. That's science, first of all science. Don't call me nothing. Science calls me what the Lord says I am. I am a woman, you understand. So you get that You're a woman. No, no, no, hold on, let's just go there. That's a dog. You can't change molecular. Well, the studies are going to change it.

Speaker 2: 22:06

That's why there's ongoing studies.

Speaker 1: 22:08

Right, you cannot scrub my DNA. Okay, here's the thing. Let's just be clear. If you burned up today, you know especially the people who got all the you know the changing and the gingers and you taking off stuff and putting it on and attacking things and they'll crawling, okay, all right, so that was really funny. But, uh, you do that. Right. Let's say you get into a fire God forbid, but you get into a fire and you burn, right, all your Velcro parts or all everything that you put on. I'm sorry, it came out again. I'm sorry, no offense, I'm sorry, came out again. So all of that burns, correct? Do you not know that your teeth will identify you? You understand? Oh, okay, I get the point that you're making. You got it, and your teeth will say what you were born as, you understand, not what you transitioned to.

Speaker 2: 22:59

Yeah, what if I have veneers? I'm kidding, okay, so let me take you back to the knowledge. Let me give you back Boom, have veneers? I'm kidding, okay, so let me take you back to the knowledge. Let me give you back basic knowledge. I got you. You know, it's so funny Women. Let me get back to basic knowledge. Okay, trans, okay, if you are a trans woman, you are a woman who transitioned into that. That's why we transition means changing.

Speaker 2: 23:24

Yeah, okay, you are just woman and then the man to woman is called. They're identified as trans woman because they transition to that.

Speaker 1: 23:32

Got it.

Speaker 2: 23:34

Man is a man of trans descent, so they transitioned into that man. Ok, wait time out. Same thing, flip roles Trans man is a woman, is a woman who transitioned to that man Okay, wait Time out.

Speaker 1: 23:45

Same thing flip-flops. Trans man is a woman who transitioned into a man. Yeah, got it, okay, because I wouldn't be just a man Right, I'm just a man Right. So you trans man transitional.

Speaker 2: 23:58

Trans woman. So that's how we identify that.

Speaker 1: 24:00

Okay, so trans woman is a man who went to a woman. Trans man is a woman who went to a man.

Speaker 3: 24:07

One to one is two. Say it again no.

Speaker 1: 24:09

So trans woman is a woman, a man, a man who went to a woman, and a trans man is a woman who went to a man.

Speaker 2: 24:17

Whatever you ended with, remember it started the opposite.

Speaker 1: 24:19

Yeah, that's what I just said, yeah.

Speaker 3: 24:24

Okay.

Speaker 1: 24:25

So now that's the trans. What is the okay? You got the lesbians. Okay, bi, I'm sorry, bi, what you mean, lb, bi. What's the difference? What's the difference between bi and lesbians?

Speaker 2: 24:43

Bi likes both sexes Mm, mm, lesbians. Bi likes both sexes Lesbians, like both sexes too.

Speaker 1: 24:50

Some would say you know because, some would say that if you, okay, let's take a man.

Speaker 2: 24:57

Right.

Speaker 1: 24:57

If you sleep with a man once, you're gay.

Speaker 2: 24:59

A woman can have a kid and still be a full-blown lesbian. I don't get it. I don't get it. I don't get that.

Speaker 1: 25:06

Because to me that's no bisexual, that doesn't count. No, here's the thing If you are a male, right, let's just talk about it. If you are male and you've been penetrated by another male, correct, and you sleep with a woman, you just decided to sleep with a woman, but the foundation of it, you're gay.

Speaker 2: 25:27

No, but you know what. You know. I'm such a real man, I don't get offended by that. This is how I am. I plan on being so articulate with my words. Yes, when I have a platform to help people find themselves in the hopes that it's in Christ, right that you're never going to hear me say I was gay and now I'm straight. I am gay, I was gay and I now lean and depend on God. I was gay and I don't. I could say that right now I don't sleep with men. I'm not. There is nothing unless God, unless a relationship came to me with a man long term, I am not, ain't a man I'm not preparing to sleep with, to penetrate me, nor am I penetrating. That's a place that I am in my life Right, right, right. So when I'm there, to where I'm not entertaining men at all, my verbiage will never be I'm straight. I'm such a See the thing is, pastor Sho, I'm such a real man I'm not offended by those type of terms. And what type of terms. You don't even remember what.

Speaker 1: 26:41

Because I said if you sleep with a man, you're gay. Is that wrong the terminology? You don't even remember what? Because I said if you sleep with a man, you're gay?

Speaker 2: 26:46

Is that wrong the terminology? It doesn't matter to me. I can't really answer that because it's about what I live In every aspect. It's about how I live From the enemy's aspect. He don't care how I present to y'all.

Speaker 2: 26:59

I can tell y'all I'm straight all day. I could put on a what's it called? You put on the face of what they call, say godliness and deny the power. What does it say? What's the term? Come on, you know, y'all know. You know I could do that. I could act. Look straight all day. Make y'all believe.

Speaker 2: 27:21

You know what the DL do is go get a big woman, nice, hefty woman, and have kids with him. Make y'all think I'm living the righteous life and all of that. It don't matter. The enemy will. Let me minister to y'all like that. He cares about how I live in private, what I'm watching on that phone screen at night, what I'm doing behind closed doors, okay, so when I say the terminology don't matter to me, it don't matter to me because my I don't care that y'all think I'm gay because I wear a wig. I care about what I'm doing on the inside and what I'm working on on the back end. So if you go sleep better at night by saying I'm gay because I've been penetrated or have penetrated a guy, then that's cool. I can, I can go with that. I can subscribe to that right along with you. The truth of the matter is, when I say I don't deal with men, no more to me, that that makes me straight. I'm not sleeping with men no more. That makes me straight. If we being real honest.

Speaker 1: 28:21

So that makes you straight, now, straight Now. This is teetering into the escape room. So you know again. If you want to know the confounds and you want to be in the know, the escape room is where it's going to go down. You got a little thumbnail for the escape room.

Speaker 1: 28:33

But just a caveat, just a caveat, just a teaser here, and you'll find that on Patreon. But yes, you must subscribe to see that, because we're really going to be talking about people's personal stories and really getting down into the nitty gritty of the hows and whys. Right, but just just a snippet piece in that. So you know you say OK, I'm straight because I don't sleep with the man that makes you straight. Now the question is does that resolve the issues that's in your soul?

Speaker 2: 29:02

No. So here's the thing what is deliverance? Deliverance is understanding my struggle. Let's go back.

Speaker 1: 29:09

Pause because you're fitting to get into the escape room.

Speaker 2: 29:12

Okay, I'm trying to answer my question. Let me try to stay baseline. What I'm saying is what you're saying. Number one the original point that I was making it I am going to try my best in this spiritual walk and in my, in my life, of of my purpose, my ministry, to do something that that the church failed to do for years and people in leadership failed to do all the time, and that is articulate and use my words wisely. So I'm not going to address myself as straight because the world don't see it as straight because of my past, you know, and so what I'm going to do is let people know. Yeah, I was gay.

Speaker 2: 29:56

That's what I'm gonna do. Remember, I told you I was gonna do that. Yeah, I was gay, but I don't sleep with men.

Speaker 1: 30:07

Okay, so then now the question is. The question is first of all, let's put your taco meat up, because you I mean you over here looking like a a rick or a squave. So. So then the question now is you know, am I gay according to my outward appearance? That's right. Or am I gay Because you can say all day I don't sleep with men? But being attracted to men in itself it's a gay act.

Speaker 2: 30:39

It is. It is a gay, it is a gay tendency. Okay, gay is a verb, it is an action. Okay, it is a gay, it is a gay tendency. Okay, gay is a verb, it is an action. Okay, it is two people Y'all little dummies on the football field and he missed a touch, quarterback touchdown or whatever.

Speaker 3: 30:55

Oh, that's gay.

Speaker 2: 30:56

That's not gay. Gay is two people of the same sex having sexual encounters. That's what that is. Now is living a life, a gay lifestyle, a gay act, meaning one thing, one time thing. No, that is gay. That is what it is. But my past. They don't have nothing to do with my future.

Speaker 1: 31:21

Right, so here's the deal. So, if you are, I'm a recovering gay. Okay, so here's the deal. So, if you are okay, so if you're saying, okay, I am no longer in the lifestyle, right, like for myself, right, I did, I did almost 20 years in it, right, I don't know 10, 15 years, it's been so long ago, I don't know. But so you're straight through deliverance, got through it, you know, dealt with the trauma, dealt with everything, all of the underlying issues, right, and then. So now you know, I believe that sleeping with a female is terribly wrong. I don't, I don't think that it's God's best. Right, I am no longer attracted to women. Now, there were days where I feel I thought I would never, so pause.

Speaker 2: 32:09

Yeah, that's where I was going. That you said was an escape room.

Speaker 1: 32:11

Right now. Now, oh, I'm dancing With the attraction, yeah.

Speaker 2: 32:14

I'm tap dancing. I feel like I'm going to lean and depend on God Right To control, and if control means take those desire or attractions away, then by all means. But in my opinion, you know, I have had substance problems in my life. I've had so many things that I've conquered and I've been delivered from and. I haven't went back to. I feel like this is that thing that's going to keep me leaning in the way of God.

Speaker 1: 32:42

Now have you been delivered from it. Do you know what deliverance is? Who me?

Speaker 2: 32:49

I know what deliverance is. Okay, yeah, and so that's why, in my mind, when I think about my future, I feel like you know, I feel like this escape room talks almost.

Speaker 1: 33:02

Right, so we'll talk about that in the escape room, right? But I want to get back to the definitions, right? Because I feel like I am thoroughly confused. You are the alphabets and all of the categories. You know, I feel like I'm playing categories. Can we look it up, huh?

Speaker 2: 33:32

Can we look it up? We can look it up I could break it down to you, if I see, because the Q and the I and the A and the M-N-O-P, that's where you kind of lose. M-e. Now my trans on down, down, I got your back. Love all ye thee.

Speaker 1: 33:51

And in between, okay, so now, while you're looking that up, you know, and we can talk about that, but I would like to spend a whole episode on pronouns okay, I don't need that for this. Okay, because, again, I am a Christian.

Speaker 2: 34:10

So you mean he me, she, them, they, rah, cat rah, and all that. I mean yes, basically. So we're going to underline some of that as demonic and then we're going to get to the he me, she them, they.

Speaker 1: 34:20

But here's the deal, though, here's the deal, though here's the deal. You know, and a lot of people was like you know, it's not demonic.

Speaker 2: 34:26

You can tell when I'm joking.

Speaker 1: 34:27

It's not demonic and it's not, you know, but if you're not from that, uh, culture, not even culture. Um, if you are, again, I'm a Christian, right, there are powers that be, right, there's good and there's God, and then, of course, there's another entity, right, this is my podcast, right, and I believe that, and so for me, he, we, she, them, they.

Speaker 2: 34:57

It's too hard in a sentence.

Speaker 1: 34:59

That's number one and number two. When you say I identify as we and them, first of all, who the heck is them?

Speaker 2: 35:08

That's number one and you always identify that until we and them punch you and now you a girl again. You understand, and that's just what I don't get. Sorry, put that on the screen.

Speaker 1: 35:20

Wait a minute. Okay, you know.

Speaker 2: 35:24

Okay, it's just like I don't know. Okay, so let's go back to what the pronouns are and why they are. That it is a form of acceptance. You're right. Are we talking in circles?

Speaker 1: 35:36

No, you're right, Okay, but I don't understand the acceptance part of saying that I am multiple people. I don't get it. They're not saying they're multiple people. Let's look at okay now. I was never great at English. I was never great at English, okay, and math was not my subject. Now you give me a good coloring book, I'm going to be your.

Speaker 2: 35:55

Okay, but they're not saying they're multiple people. They're saying they don't subscribe to one gender identity.

Speaker 1: 36:02

That's multiple, that's one too. Gender identity that's multiple, that's one too. I don't understand. I'm not bashing, okay, that's the last time I say it on my platform. I ain't saying it, no more. Okay, this is the loving platform and I just, I am passionately trying to understand. Okay, when you say, if I introduce myself and I say hello, I am them, we are them, them, whiteners, okay, what I learned in English as a tyke, okay, little thing, right there, right, a tyke, okay, little thing, right, right, we've learned that them or we or they are multiple people, meaning more than one Correct, correct, right. So if I, if, if, if I'm talking to you and I come up to you and say hello, my name is so-and-so and I identify as they, right, somebody can say that, correct, okay? So then for me, what you're telling me, I'm going to automatically especially you know being who I am and what I do I'm going to automatically be like I'm sorry, I am talking to more than one. And do we need a back room to go work? I'm so serious because I'm confused.

Speaker 2: 37:28

It reminds me you know, so are you confused on why.

Speaker 1: 37:34

No, I'm reminded of the movie though Split. Ok, do you remember that movie? Yes, and why are you reminded of that?

Speaker 2: 37:42

OK, ok, so if you say you must be on the backstory side.

Speaker 1: 37:46

No, no, no. If you say, if you say, okay, I identify as them, right, it's stop laughing. In the movie Split, okay, he had four different, five different people. He had the little boy, he had the lady Right, he had the neat freak Right, then he had the artist right and then the beast, correct, okay. So he would say, you know we. They would always say we, oh, okay, that's number one. They would always say we. And then the little boy was like well, they won't, so-and-so, won't, let me come to the light. Right, and that meant the other personality.

Speaker 2: 38:24

So that's where it's very different.

Speaker 1: 38:26

Talk to me.

Speaker 2: 38:27

Explain their, them, their them, is almost in a gender. It is in a like a gender fluid like way of terminology. Okay, they are saying, not that this is not like a trans. A trans feels like a man that turns into a woman. A trans woman feels like I am a woman. I put in the work, I'm on the hormones, I have breasts, I am now a woman. So the people let's, let's try to really give an example that look like me. You know when I'm like this, but I may have hair, and I say oh, you know and I'm saying this because I don't subscribe to Now, if you ask me, how do you identify? Oh, man, he.

Speaker 1: 39:19

I'm not offended by either or.

Speaker 2: 39:21

Now, when a dude come up to me and be like, yeah girl, now I'm going to show you I'm a man, but no Other than that.

Speaker 1: 39:28

So why is that? Because I've seen women and men, okay, who identify as other things because I don't know, you know, but they will get offended and I mean low-key fight.

Speaker 2: 39:46

So look, guy, the people that are done that like physically, look like me as far as versatility, maybe with style or whatever right they're them. The term them, they for them, is not feeling like I'm a man and a woman all the time. Sometimes it's just like I don, I don't fit in either, or and it's so sad because to me that's an insecurity. It's sad to me because that's an insecurity, because you feel like you don't fit into one category because of what the world is, world deems masculine. You don't feel like you. You fit in somewhere because of what the world deems feminine, and so you have subscribed to what the box that the world created for you.

Speaker 1: 40:31

Now, when you, I'm having a hard time following, okay. So when you say world, you're basically saying, okay, here I am this person, right, and I have these bins and I, let's say, I feel like I'm weird, like somebody has called me weird all my life, right, and because, let's say, I don't like sports but I like tech stuff, right. So then that will be considered. But since I don't fit into the box, yeah.

Speaker 2: 40:58

So now the world has this term called tech geek, and so now I'm subscribing to I'm a tech. I'm a tech geek because the world doesn't see me as normal, because I don't like sports. So, to transfer that logic to this, these people that I identify as they and them, some people feel like there's no box to check for them, because the world says because I'm pretty, oh, from back there I thought you were a girl, and so it triggers all these, and so I said it's sad for me because it's like another insecurity, it's a lack of confidence.

Speaker 1: 41:35

It's a lack of assurance in who you are as a person. But is it that? Or is it schemes?

Speaker 2: 41:39

Because let's say, you're talking about an escape room truth. You're right, it's an escape room truth. You talking about an escape room truth? You right, it's an escape room truth. The borderline that's sitting at the tip of the majority's brain is where do I fit in? Where do I fit? It's an identity thing. It's an identity crisis. Yes, it is, and sometimes it's within their self after the world, put it in them. You know, when I say world, I'm being broad spectrum, I'm being very general. Okay, world, put it in them. You know, when I say world, I'm being broad spectrum, I'm being very general, because I'm not. I'm so unbothered and out of tune with where that, that group of people, that project, oh, you're not a man or a woman.

Speaker 2: 42:16

You're a them. I don't know who that is, where that came from, how it was brought about. I don't know if our community did that. If you know so, when I say the world, that's what I'm, that's why I say that, but that's ultimately what it is. You know what I mean. I have someone really close to me that I care about that. I that has never corrected me when I addressed them as him, because that's what he is, he but I addressed him as him and I didn't know that their pronouns were they them. He's never corrected me because he knows my heart, he knows our relationship and we're cool like that. But when he explained to me when I first found out not long ago, he explained just what I broke down to you that he just sometimes doesn't know what box he fits in.

Speaker 1: 43:05

Is that because he feels rejected?

Speaker 2: 43:08

Because at the end of the day, I think that's who it is. Yeah, I think if we want to speak on majority, it is between rejection and established insecurities like insecurities that were put on you Like. I never felt a problem with me being a boy wearing hair until everybody made it a problem around me, and so now I'm questioning my manhood, who I am what I'm supposed to be.

Speaker 1: 43:31

So you're saying I can still be a man and wear. Okay, because men, okay, there are men who wear lace fronts. Two flays Now. Where are the two flays now? Now, stop now. Because there are men who and y'all are over there hitting and everything when the two slaves? Now? Because there are men who, they ain't nothing but some fatalism. Let's just be clear.

Speaker 2: 43:48

Okay, but we call it what it is. Let's talk like the world up here when we not in the escape room. So yeah, there are some men who can wear inches and still be straight. I'm that man.

Speaker 1: 44:06

Okay.

Speaker 2: 44:06

So if you that man, Okay so if you say he gonna take it, and I'm gonna let him take it.

Speaker 1: 44:11

Here's the deal. Here lies in my problem.

Speaker 2: 44:16

Okay, who said that the hair was for a woman. Show me, get the Bible, james, james, catholic Methodist, all of it. Pull it out and show me where heels was for a woman, because Prince had hecka, hecka.

Speaker 1: 44:39

Now here's the deal. Now, if you're going to go, you know, doing fashion and everything, back in the Elizabethan period men wore heels, men had hair, but in the sense of, that's one thing to be a man and to have long hair and to wear heels with boots on it. I mean, kurt Franklin does it. I mean, let's be honest, sorry, I'm trying to keep it straight he doesn't wear hair, but he wears heels because he's short. I saw him in person once. He's short, he's super short, so he wears. If you look at when he's on stage gyrating, he's wearing heels. Okay, now, not in the sense of a stiletto, like a woman I could wear.

Speaker 2: 45:20

I will walk down in a stiletto Look at the video right here.

Speaker 1: 45:23

Okay, we're not putting a video, no, okay.

Speaker 2: 45:26

So what I'm saying is this I find it problematic when I like I already know where you're going and I like your choice of word Right.

Speaker 1: 45:35

It's problematic for me, okay, right, when, if a man is wearing his hair long, that's fine, and he still has the masculine persona, right, the masculine movement, and he's masculine, I'm gonna hold you to that and here's the deal. Here's the deal as a, as a woman and as a black woman, I'm beautiful because I but it. It bothers me to see a man. Right, you got on heels and I'm talking about stilettos. Okay, I'm on me. Okay, yeah, I'm talking about you. Stilettos, right, I mean you. I mean more Mac than me, lashes longer than mines. Okay, I mean a little, a little dip in your hip, just a little stronger than what it needs to be, because you trying to open up and say that's the problem If you just got a bigger lash Because I have nothing but mascara on, and mine are longer than yours.

Speaker 1: 46:36

We're just, I'm just saying but I have an issue, right, because my thing is, you're not made to do what I do, right, as well as I'm not made to do what a man does.

Speaker 2: 46:50

You and you, and you made this thing that you're saying I'm not made to wear or do for you. Now let's speak.

Speaker 3: 47:01

What I'm saying is.

Speaker 2: 47:02

I'm not made to reproduce, carry a child. I mean you're not. The heel wasn't made for your foot.

Speaker 1: 47:11

Okay, that's fine, I never remember. Let's go back, okay. I said no, I said I don't have a problem with me because let me pull on my fashion bag just a little bit. Back in the Elizabethan period, men wore heels too. Okay, okay, okay. So all had chunky heels. What I'm stating is is when what you're wearing, right, it resembles, it models, it mimic, it mocks me. You know why I agree with you now.

Speaker 2: 47:36

Um, as of today, one foot in, one foot out is the term we're going to use for Ty Rashad. One foot in, one foot out is the term we're going to use for Ty Rashad. One for them, one for them. I don't wear nails because I literally can wear 30 inches of hair straight and people will think it's my hair because I can lay a lace like that right. But when I wear the nails it's so unnatural that everything else looks fake, and now I'm resembling what women do to be feminine and so it's no longer masculine. But I can wear hair.

Speaker 2: 48:14

So I agree with you because I can't wear stilettos and look like a masculine male. I can't even walk mask. And I was at the strip, at the gay strip, about a month and a half ago and this boy I was dressed like this and his boy was like you was here like three months ago with heels on. You be faking, trying to get what you want. I was like boy.

Speaker 2: 48:27

First of all, ain't nothing out here. I want number one, but number two you go put on a pair of five inch stilettos and try to walk like you got some Air Forces on and see how that work. So my point is I agree with you because there are certain things that, even though I could say, I could argue with you that the heel lane made for the woman, I can't be masculine in a stiletto but I can wear a platform. I can wear my Doc Martin platforms, I can wear my moon boots I can wear there are some wedges I could put on and really look like a decent man and it's a thing I get what you're saying when it's a point of self-expression, fashion forward, you know, freedom of speech, your own dang personal choices and then resembling Versus you trying to embody, attempting to embody yeah.

Speaker 1: 49:19

Right, all right, man, we're going to have to continue this conversation. We're going to have to continue this conversation yeah. I'm seeing how this is going to go. Yeah, we're going to have to continue. No thanks for stopping by and listening. We got some heavy topics coming down the pipeline. So you think you're gay. I'm your host, sho Whitener. I love y'all. Stay tuned, there's so much more to come. All right, y'all, we'll see. You See ya. So you think you're?

Speaker 3: 49:58

gay Peace out. No-transcript.