Could unlocking the secrets of self-pleasure be the key to not just bliss but also healing? Join us as we uncover the surprising connection between personal pleasure, pain management, and psychological healing.
Erica’s website: https://www.flowcode.com/page/creativebodyrelease.com
Erica Leroye’s email: erica@creativebodyrelease.com
IG: @erica_leroye
Here's your first step in spicing up your sex life--get Lee's free erotic massage technique: rockthebedroom.com/
For new erotic massage techniques every month: rockthebedroom.com/membership
Could unlocking the secrets of self-pleasure be the key to not just bliss but also healing? Join us as we uncover the surprising connection between personal pleasure, pain management, and psychological healing.
Erica’s website: https://www.flowcode.com/page/creativebodyrelease.com
Erica Leroye’s email: erica@creativebodyrelease.com
IG: @erica_leroye
Here's your first step in spicing up your sex life--get Lee's free erotic massage technique: rockthebedroom.com/
For new erotic massage techniques every month: rockthebedroom.com/membership
Today is part two of my fascinating conversation with Erica Leroy about masturbation. If you haven't already listened to the last episode, episode eight, which is part one of this conversation, I recommend that you listen to that first, then come back to this one. Okay, let's jump back in.
Speaker 2:I have a chronic neck condition and it took a while. I used to go to the chiropractor like three times a week and now there is a spot on my clitoris that when my neck is out I can rub and the sensation I somehow, like you know, nerve, like you know all those nerve endings that are there are connected to places. Right, we have millions of nerve endings and there's a certain place on my clitoris that if I rub that I can get my neck back into place. Wow.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:Right. Or you know, I work with people who have low back lumbar issues and you know, what happens is like we're so used to, we're so used to the pain signal pathway, right. So you have an ache or you have a pain and you're just, your brain is just like looping. I'm noticing that, I'm noticing that, I'm noticing that I'm in pain, I'm in pain.
Speaker 2:But if we go down to the bottom of the spine, right where there's all these nerve endings, and we cultivate pleasure and we even say to ourselves as we're doing this aloud, ah that feels good, right, because we need to get out of the mind saying, oh, I'm hurting, oh, I don't feel good, oh, I'm in pain, oh, that's nice, oh, that feels good, right, we're programming it, we're rewiring this and then, if we're building up that pleasure and finding pleasure, we can send the pleasure signal up through the spine and and it can be stronger than the pain signal, right? And? And the more we do that because, look, we know we have a national opiate addiction epidemic, right. But this is our naturally occurring opiate Right. If we weren't so prudish about sex and sexuality, we wouldn't be in so much duress and in pain. You know they're directly related our repression of pleasure and our need for something that is, you know, chemically synthesized rather than organically synthesized, right exactly you just reminded me of a few times I did this in my office.
Speaker 1:A few times I did this in my office.
Speaker 1:For those of you who don't know, I used to do erotic massage as a job and I would have a client on the table and he would have some type of like chronic injury or some type of pain that was giving him a problem and what I would do, without really telling him beforehand, what I was doing is I would somehow activate that pain, like just even putting my hand over the area, like it's got bad knees or whatever he's brought up, and I would just bring his attention to that area, to that's got bad knees or whatever he's brought up, and I would just bring his attention to that area, to that, that discomfort, and I would tease him a little bit in a very comfortable area, very pleasurable sensation, and I would pair the two and I would do that back and forth and back and forth and tie the pleasure to that pain.
Speaker 1:So now the pain, whenever he thought of the pain there it was, it wasn't so sharp, it was like a it was paired to pleasure and so many times the guys would say, wow, that thing that you did last time. Yeah, that's not really an issue anymore. It was amazing, um, and I I don't know where I got the idea to do it, but it worked, I think.
Speaker 2:If you are, if you're tuned into the body, if you've done as much, you know. Again, holistic care, right, that's the difference when those of us who work doing erotic massage.
Speaker 2:Doing erotic massage, sexological body work, whatever it is, what it is is we are able to witness and feel the body as a whole. And when we witness and feel the body as a whole, you know, there's reflexology of the foot, there's reflexology of the ear, there's reflexology of the hand, there's definitely reflexology of the genitals, right, because it's all about where are their nerve endings. And I agree, I definitely, I do that all the time, right, oh, let me connect. And sometimes it's like I can see, I can see that there's something. So let me find the genital connection. And other times it's I'm doing something in the genital area, you know, and I'll feel something. And then I'll see something in the body where I'm like oh, now, now you need me to put my hand here and make that connection, which is, you know, in holistic body work terms, it's like polarity therapy, right, we have an energy current and we're trying to help the energy current, make its connection and rewire to pleasure. It's totally doable. It's totally doable. And when you combine this oxytocin piece that says I got this, everything's okay. You know, I'm good With, uh, I-patterning. The signaling to pleasure exists here, right, because it's so easy for the brain, so easy for the mind to get caught up in a narrative of woe is me. The pain is so bad, right, it's intolerable, I'm not okay, and all those things are real. I mean, I've gone through chronic pain, I've gone through chronic illness, I've gone through extreme grief and loss. All of these things are real. Yeah, I'm just saying, having done a lot of different therapies and put a lot of money into people's pockets to try to get well, nothing works as well as masturbation, because it does. It works on all these different levels.
Speaker 2:If you create it that way again, you know, and and I think that that's a really important piece is, you know, cultivating, cultivating erotic time management. That's kind of what you're, you know. What you were talking about with the Netflix is like, you know, there's an element of, of having to tell the mind this isn't something that maybe I get to. This is actually good for me and I'm going to. You know, when I first started out, I had to really do like a okay, 30 days, every day, I have to do this, and there were a couple of times where it was like 1152, 1153 PM and I was looking at the clock and I was like there is no fucking way, I want to do this. But then this part of my brain will be like well, then you're going to lose the last 14 days because you're on day 15 and you'd have to start all over again and I'd be like all right, well, today I'm going to see. Can I come in 30 seconds?
Speaker 1:Right, right.
Speaker 2:Like you know, give myself and and start to carve out and then learn, like I like to have at least once a week, like a three hour window that begins with you know how to just take all the other selves off, too right To take my time to. Okay, now I'm going to. You know, this starts with just listen to some music, move my body and dance, like even in my, like other clothes, and then once I feel like, okay, I've let the music and the movement start to shift my energy, then I'm going to go take a really nice warm shower, warm bath. I'm going to take the time to, you know, all those products that are sitting there that I forget to use. I'm going to actually, like, hang out with my body, right, what is it learning? What turns me on? Maybe it's I'm going to go for a walk and really make it a slow, meditative. I like to say, take your cock and pussy for a walk, really letting the sensory world turn you on, really finding what works for me, what gets that arousal system going right that it isn't just you know and what doesn't right. This is also learning what doesn't get me going Right, right, right. So, taking that, you know, really having it be slow and luxurious, and then you know whether it's. You know, playing, dress up, playing with toys. I like to film and send it to my partners. You know that, like you know, I'm a bit of an exhibitionist and that's a nice feedback loop too, right, right, but it also that also like in masturbation coaching, we talk a lot about using a mirror. That was sort of the early seventies days of like teaching women about self-pleasure was. Have you ever even looked at yourself? So I like using the cell phone when I masturbate because you know I get to it actually helps me get out of my mind because I'm so enamored with like, look at what my body is doing. Like that I don't even think of it as like that's me totally has changed my relationship to my body image. Right, cause, when you're looking at yourself and pleasure, right Again, the mind is looking at itself. We're looking at ourselves often so critically, but to actually look at yourself in bliss and pleasure, seeing the pinkening, you know, of the labia, seeing you know what happens there. Again, admiring your best girlfriend Wow, you're amazing, right? Or like, oh, you really didn't like that, I won't do that again, right? Or like, oh, you really didn't like that. I won't do that again.
Speaker 2:One of the things I discovered from filming is, you know, sound is so important. Making sound when we have sex, for so many reasons I mean we know this from childbirth right, like that sound. Making sound helps open up the pelvis, right, when we're especially women who maybe have pelvic constriction, you know, we see them like if you're not making sound, it's, then it's not opening. But what I've learned is like this the shape of your mouth often will mimic the shape of your vaginal opening and you can see that whole connection. Oh, ooh, ah, it's all, it's all one.
Speaker 2:Right, oh my gosh, I never thought about that but I would never have thought about it either If I hadn't seen it for myself. Right, I'm like, oh, look what's happening. Same shapes, same Gosh.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I, when you, when you were talking about using a mirror or your cell phone or whatever to see what you're doing and to to just like, while you're pleasuring your body, to see what it looks like, at first I was just thinking, well, you just to be able to identify what's down there and just to check yourself out. But it never occurred to me that, yeah, then you would see a color change as you become more and more engorged, or you'd see, you know, your vaginal opening change, constrict and relax. It didn't occur to me that there's a little movie going on down there. Absolutely, that is wow. I just learned something real big today. I learned a few things, but that was a big there, absolutely. That is why I just learned something real big today. I learned a few things, but that was a big one, yeah.
Speaker 2:And if you think about going back to the sport, I mean in sport training, they're always filming and reviewing always how you know, how is my body moving? Oh your gate, oh, we can see there, that's where your foot isn't landing. Moving, oh your gate, oh, we can see there, that's where your foot isn't landing.
Speaker 2:That's why you're not getting that speed, right, but we don't, you know, again, it's, it's a movement activity. So if we watch ourselves, if I'm watching myself, and I see like, oh, my hands are completely clenched, and I'm wondering then why, after I have an orgasm, are my joints achy, right? Oh, it's not because orgasms make my joints achy, it's because I'm doing this when I'm orgasming, so let me put my hands somewhere else, right? Well, that is, and see, you know science, see, if I do some, if I change as a variable, do I have a different response? The other thing I'll tell you about filming. For those of your lovely audience who maybe, like a little picture, play a little sexting, is that like for me, if I try to take a sexy picture, I it's really hard for me to take a sexy picture, right? Especially because, especially cause I've just, you know, especially for, like, my face.
Speaker 2:I just always feel like that's just so fake If I film myself and then when I'm and I and I actually am having a playful experience and erotic experience, essential experience, and again, I'm not hyper-focused on the camera, I put it someplace, you know, close by or bring it in, but it's, you know, I'm still in-focused on the camera.
Speaker 2:I put it someplace close by or I bring it in, but I'm still in my body, in the experience. But then when I go through the film, I just scan through and look for good still shots yes, right, and then take a screenshot of the off of the film because what comes through is actually the energy of what was being filmed, like it's so much sexier, my, my facial expressions I mean, some of them are ridiculous. I definitely have had just like, oh, that's a silly face, but I was having fun, or I was not so sure what was going on there. But it's also like, oh, that's, you know, like there's something organic that I can capture and send to my partner. That doesn't even have to be super explicit, but it's just, it's. It's an authentic erotic energy that I just don't get when I'm doing like boudoir shots.
Speaker 1:Right and I mean I can imagine the partner who's receiving that picture. Oh yeah, like that, that's that's got to give them a hard on right then, because then you're really in your bliss and and I've heard that so many times where men really love to see you in your bliss, like they want to be able to see your face, they want to be able to see your body writhing around or whatever. They want to be able to capture that visually. There are parts of masturbation that I I prefer masturbation to partnered sex in that when I'm masturbating I don't have to worry about what I look like and I'm not inhibited, like if I'm having, if I'm having sex with someone, someone's like going down on me, they're doing oral, and so they're down there and I'm having sex with someone, someone's like going down on me, they're doing oral, and so they're down there and I'm up here and they're facing me. So if they open their eyes they can see my face in response to what they're doing.
Speaker 1:I prefer, especially if I'm like getting close to an orgasm and I need to like focus, like I'm breaking diamonds with my brain. I like to put a pillow over my face so that I'm to like focus, like I'm breaking diamonds with my brain. I like to put a pillow over my face so that I'm just like just let me be alone in this sensation, and then I'm not worried about what I look like for you and if I'm doing some weird contorted face, it just feels like I'm on a stage and I prefer to, like I can relax more, knowing that I can make whatever weird contortion on my face and, and it's okay, it's not going to be judged or or misconstrued or I don't know. Yeah, that's one thing I love masturbation for is I don't have to worry about any of that.
Speaker 2:Well, I hear you, I hear you, and and oh yeah, there's a big and there and deal it coming.
Speaker 2:I think the more that you, the more that you get comfortable with a regular masturbation versus Netflix practice, right, and if you film yourself a little bit just to see really what you look like, what you're really going to see is that you look fucking hot, really what you look like. What you're really going to see is that you look fucking hot, right, right, and, and. And here's the beautiful thing, cause I love that you brought this up, because that's such a mind thing, that's such a mind, not body, right, that's the mind doing its mind. Yes, and the truth of it is I joke about this all the time I'm like, you know, I'm actually quite the like, you know, I'm actually quite the like. You know, I mean not to put myself down, but you know, I'm not a conventional beauty and often I'm quite the hag, right, you know, if I don't really. But man, people love me when I put out, when I put out my sexual energy. It's just like I'm the most beautiful goddess on the planet and that's just oxytocin. Oxytocin makes everybody beautiful, right?
Speaker 1:Beauty cream.
Speaker 2:It is. It's like that. It is literally like a Disney magic potion where you can be like, you know, the Ursula hag and the prince or princess you know gets this oxytocin pill, this oxytocin mist, and they're like, oh, you're so beautiful, that's what it does. Right, you know, it's that mommy, oh, ma, you know, it's just like I love you. So. So, in that sense, if you're cultivating oxytocin with the lover, right, and that's interesting, because if the mind comes in I was just saying to Michelle from our soft cock podcast, I had this revelation last week, which was I could play with a soft cock for hours, but I cannot play with the energy of frustration for very long Right. And so if there's an energy, if you have someone going down on you and you're feeling, amazing, right, you want that mind to just shut the fuck up and be in all of your glory contorted, not contorted, whatever it is because the moment the mind is like I don't really want to be seen, I don't really want to be in this, like that, that's an energy that is there too, and so I do think that getting used to oh, this is who I am, this is how I look, and, again, not really when you are in your body. It's like I like to think of it like being a starfish right that when you're having this holistic sexual sensual experience, your legs, your arms, your torso up to your face, those are all just limbs to your genitals as the center of self, right, right, Right. And I would be remiss to not mention cause I feel like I always need to remind people of this that in the beginning of life, you know, in those early years, the way that the thing that is consistent for us in the first two to four years of life is someone is touching our genitals regularly because of diapering Right and potty training. Very deep core of self and feeling safe and feeling loved and feeling tended to is genital touch. And if we can bring that into our masturbation practice, right, we can repair attachment wounds. Right, we can, you know, go, we can bring ourself back to a time when we were actually really innocent and just in our body. You know my grandkids they're watching TV and they got their hands up their butts and, you know, touching their penis and it's just like it's. So you know, it's just there's good that lives there and there's just a lot of messaging around. You know, don't, don't, don't shame, shame, shame, no, no, no, yeah.
Speaker 2:So sometimes masturbation doesn't isn't even about the orgasm, it's just about the soothing, it's just about giving ourselves the right. You know how often when we wipe ourselves as adults, you know, are we actually, you know, doing it tenderly, with, with thought. It's just like right, let's just get this done right. So if that's how we are with you know our own wiping, then can we, when we're taking time for our body, like, okay, you know, let's bring it back to I am. I can be my own best parent in the way that I treat the child in me. That's still. It's like here is this full-blown woman goddess in me, and here is this most innocent, delicate, innocent delicate, vulnerable core baby self too.
Speaker 1:Hey, it's beautiful. That is beautiful. Yes, oh my gosh, I love that, remembering of how much attention we spend on our children attending to that area, making sure it's clean and not being rough down there because they're so little, you know, and and it's care, it's it. Touching is all about care and I never thought about that. We do that with children and I do teach women who, when they're learning erotic massage techniques, like it's not, doesn't have to be so sexual. It's just another act of of love, an act, a kindful act on your partner, but that you just took it to a whole different level. Thank you for that. That was really beautiful.
Speaker 2:I would imagine in your you know, in your courses and in the work that you do, it is it's, it's just another piece of you know, when I am, when I'm sitting, you know in between someone's legs, right, and I'm working on their body and I'm, you know, massaging and hanging out with their genitals. It is this moment, because, you know, when we do diapering right, there's that's also often that like it's, it's that's oxytocin eye contact. I mean, you know, sometimes we're like, oh, that's gross, but still usually we get, you know, there is, it's these moments throughout the day where the caregiver and the emerging self are getting this feedback of hey, hi, oh, hello, belly, oh right, because it's it's, it's also the you know, there's the vulnerability when we have a sexual partner, especially men, you know, are not often used to being the one who is the receiver, right, right, so if part of that energy is also really eliciting that early oxytocin loop, a whole other level oh my gosh, that's so good.
Speaker 1:It's so good. I mean, what a gift that is to give to someone else. Yeah, but it's really important to give ourselves that gift as well.
Speaker 2:Right, exactly so. If we're touching ourselves, releasing, feeling good, telling ourselves, ah, that's nice, that feels good, right, yes, thank you, I got this. Life is good, I have this release, I'm breathing, I'm feeling, where I'm stressed, I'm moving that blood through my body, I'm, my fascia is all like loose and relaxed. I mean just health health, we're healthier you know, and this idea that mass you know that touching ourselves is shameful or dirty, or that we have to rely on someone else to know how to drive our body.
Speaker 1:Right, right, just for the self-education alone, like when I have women who say, hey, do you have a course for men to show men how to figure my body out. I'm like, honey, no, no, because I could teach your guys something. Here's a great technique, here's a great button to push to get an arousing response, but that button might not be present on you Like it right? Every body is different, and so you need to know your own body. And I recommend I'm like, okay, you got 10 tools right here. Get down there and figure yourself out, and figure out what is it that turns you on, what is it that you like? Where are your hot buttons? How do you like those hot buttons pushed? And and and then have you know having the words to express that to your partner. Now we're off and running, but you've got to be able to touch yourself first and know thyself in order to do that.
Speaker 2:Exactly, exactly so. It's so important and it's also you know a lot of this too it's a really incredible meditative practice, right? If we think about meditation, as you know, can I stay present? That's all. Meditation is, meditation is. I'm going to try to stay present Whatever you use, whether you use breath, like I train, I went to a Buddhist university that's where you know my undergraduate, so I was from a Tibetan Buddhist university.
Speaker 2:I've spent a lot of my life in the world of mindfulness and I hated sitting practice. I just don't. That is just not my cup of tea. My brain is too blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. But I'll tell you what, when I use masturbation as a meditation practice so easy to do because there I am, I'm touching myself, it's feeling good, I'm totally present.
Speaker 2:And then, all of a sudden, my brain is in the supermarket and I'm walking up and down the aisles and my hand is still moving. Right, I haven't lost contact, but I am not present, right, but because I'm the reward for coming back, like for me, the reward for coming back to the breath was never a big enough reward, right, right, like that's not going to do it for me. I had a history of asthma. I was like breath, no. But oh wait, hold on. Why am I walking? Why is my brain walking up and down the aisles of what I need to get later when I go to the grocery store, when my lover hand is here touching my clitoris in this really lovely way Right, come back, come back. We have cake back. Exactly, come back. Right, this is. This is good. This feels good. You know you have. You are taking the time to make this happen. Why aren't you here?
Speaker 2:yeah, right and then, if you're doing, that then, then it'll be better when you're having sex with a partner, because your mind will be practicing how to stay present.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I love that focus on just being present, because often masturbation is an act of okay, I'm going to pleasure myself for an orgasm. That's the goal. And I've found myself, too, being really frustrated if, for whatever reason, I cannot reach an orgasm through masturbation. And I'm starting to get frustrated and I just need to, you know, pack up shop, but to to stay with it and realize wait, okay, how about? This is just about pleasure. I'm not. It's okay if, if I don't have an orgasm, this is just about feeling good and being present with my body and taking the performance anxiety off yourself to reach an orgasm.
Speaker 2:Yeah, totally, totally. And I will say, you know, a lot changed for me when I went through menopause. So when I went through menopause, it was very much like when I work with my men who have erectile dysfunction or challenges I don't like to say dysfunction and they're they're grieving right and they're like I just want it the way it used to be. And going through menopause really gave me a new level of empathy and compassion, because I really had my go-to relationship with my parts and when I went through menopause, my clitoris shrunk back a little bit and became less sensitive and this, like I, this hot button of oh, this is the way I totally know how to get off was gone. And you know I had frustration and where is it? And I kind of went through and I'm on HRT, which definitely helps. But also I really eventually realized hold on a second, I can be frustrated and anxious or give up and grieve all of those I went through. But then it became, oh wait, this is an opportunity for beginner's mind. Let me start again. Oh, okay, what do you like? Right, I'm punishing my best friend. I'm like oh, you're not how you used to be, right, I don't want to play anymore. Or now you're playing in a way that I don't like, as opposed to. You're still my best friend yeah, you got a little older, right, but I want to, but, like, I'm here to keep us healthy. So you know, if I avoid masturbation, I'm not lubricating as much. So you know I'm, I'm drier, I'm, you know I'm not sensitizing as much. So it actually has been a really beautiful practice.
Speaker 2:I don't think I'm doing it as much as I used to, because you know, I catch, you know, those libido waves. And I say that because I think it's important that for your listeners know that even for me we're like this is what I do. It's so easy to get caught up in, I don't have the time. So, having this arsenal, I'm really trying to just give everybody this arsenal of all the good reasons to counteract, to have language to counteract that, and then to really come with.
Speaker 2:Okay, you know I'm 55 and my 55-year body is not my 38 year old body. But what can it? Where? Where is? Where is feeling good? You know how do I help myself feel good? And there are lots of ways I can do it. But if I add that little bit of genital inclusion inclusion I'm going to just make myself feel that much better. And again it's just like Morse code. Oh, here's a couple of nerve spots where, if I tap these nerves, I don't even have to have a full orgasm. It's just enough to kind of send a little shudder through my spine that says okay, got it Right, right, reset, yeah, right. Oh, there it is.
Speaker 1:Right, you don't have to have the full orgasm in order to get a physiological reset. No, it can kind of. You know, just just that shudder, just that little Ooh bit of yummy feeling can just bring you back to your body and just recenter. You and you know, disrupt whatever was going on, stress or whatever.
Speaker 2:And the beauty for us as women is sometimes that that physical piece we can do, and also, because we don't have the tell that men, do you know, we can do that inner. We can use the big sex organ, right, the mind sex organ to get that little shutter where I, you know, I mean, I have to admit there have been times where I've been like in a meeting or something and I'm just like this is so tedious and I'm about to lose my shit because you know so and so is saying yet again, this thing that drives me crazy. And I can, you know, have a little moment internally where I'm just like, hey, pussy, and I can just do like a little, you know, clench, clench, clench, clench, clench, clench, clench clench, clench, clench, clench, clench, clench, clench clench, clench, clench, clench, clench, clench, clench, clench, clench, clench, clench, clench, clench, clench, clench, clench, clench, clench, clench.
Speaker 2:They're not irritating, I can get through this. I got this, I got this. Life is good, it's just a moment, right. But if I'm not connecting to that, if I'm all up here, I'm all up here, then sometimes I'll get into my other react, I'll get into my adrenaline cortisol response system, you know, and my goal through all of this, you know, is to help people learn how to harness and then harmonize your hormones. You know I'm not an endocrinologist, but it's really not that hard Once you understand the basics of how oxytocin, serotonin and dopamine predominantly, can be manifested and generated and used for health and wellbeing.
Speaker 2:It's game-changing. Yes, oh, my gosh, good, yay, here's the tidbit of gold, okay, the tidbit of gold is if you are not fluid bonded with a partner, right, fluid bonded is the terminology in like sex, ed and kink world, that is, when you have sex with a partner without a condom. Got it, okay, okay, got it, okay, okay. So if you use condoms, it really helps when you masturbate, to practice masturbating with a condom for both, both people, right. So for men it helps, because we're talking about muscle memory.
Speaker 1:But also for women.
Speaker 2:So, like I was in a fluid, bonded relationship for a very, very long time and have only this year been back to, that relationship has kind of tapered out, and so now I have new partners and I'm like shit. I'm using condoms and now I always used grapeseed oil as our lube Cause I think that's the bet. If you don't need a condom, that is the best lube for the. I think it's the best lube for the vulva and the vagina and for the penile skin.
Speaker 2:But now I'm having to use real lube or you know, not oil lube, right, I have to use like a silicone lube or a water-based lube. A lot of times my masturbation practice right now is literally just focused on do I like this lube? Do I like this condom brand? Yes, no, am I going to get a reaction? Am I getting a reaction from this lube? Eh, I'll know tomorrow, right, or I'll know right now. That was way too hot or there was something that was stinging in there. So you know the, the there was something that was stinging in there.
Speaker 2:So the other little tip is that masturbation is this practice for what you're going to have with a partner. And if you are using condoms, gloves, lube, practice with those. Find what works for your body, find what feels good so that when you're having partnered sex, that doesn't become a barrier. Right, that that the mind isn't saying wait, that's not how we do it. Now, there's something in the way, or, oh, I didn't realize. Like I said, there's a lot of lube, that the, you know the pH balances can get thrown off. So just, you know, taking the time to dial that in for yourself and then know, like, I just bring the lube you know with me that I like now and I I went through a lot of different condoms to find the ones where I'm like okay, these I like they're not sensitive. They're like the sensitivity isn't too weird in my body. So that's, that's the, that's the bonus masturbation tip oh, I love it that that is.
Speaker 1:That is a little. It keeps your toys cleaner.
Speaker 2:It's also because I'm lazy. It's like I don't. These toys, some of those sex toys, have so many ridges and places where things can get gunky. I'm just like oh, let me just throw a condom on everything Easy cleanup and it's so much easier.
Speaker 1:Easy cleanup, love it. That's brilliant. Thank you for including that.
Speaker 2:You're welcome.
Speaker 1:Wow, that was way better than I thought it was going to be. The information that you have shone a light on is really is life-changing. If someone were to actually. I mean, you know you hear all the time knowledge is power, not so much the implementation of that knowledge is power, of that knowledge is power.
Speaker 1:So I invite our listeners to take one little thing that really resonated and just implement it, Just give it a try, Just you know, see how it might fit into into your life. Even, like you said, you know change, change your habits slowly, like once a month or twice a month or whatever. Just give it a go, and I mean pleasure, where you can't go wrong.
Speaker 2:You can't go wrong, and it's really to me. It's about curiosity. So curiosity is the antidote to anxiety, right, because it's. The words on the page are what's going to happen, I don't know what's going to happen? Right, and we can either address that with. You know, I don't know what's going to happen, I don't know what's going to happen.
Speaker 2:Right, it can be huh, I don't know what's going to happen, let's see. And that immediately kicks in the dopamine, right? Just that mental shift of tone into curiosity. Let me I'm going to go to you know, I'm going to go take 10 minutes and touch myself, wonder what's going to happen. Right, let's see, right?
Speaker 1:Oh, I love that. Oh my gosh, erica. Where can people find you? I can imagine a lot of people are going to go. I need more Erica in my life. So where do people go to find more, more about you? I can imagine a lot of people are going to go. I need more Erica in my life. So where do people go to find more, more about you?
Speaker 2:I'm always available through email at info, at creativebody releasecom and I'm on some social media but honestly, the the best way to get, really the best way to get me it's me is through email directly. Just say I heard you on, you know, talking with Lee, and you know I'd like to figure something out or have a couple questions, or this thing made me wonder, or, man, I'm always stuck on this. I love creative problem solving and innovation. I love creative problem solving and innovation.
Speaker 2:That is a really. That's something I feel is one of my magic capacities is to work with people and kind of go all right, you're stuck, let's not be stuck on this anymore. Yeah, let's figure it out and make it playful.
Speaker 1:Oh, I love it. And yeah, you do bring playfulness to everything that you do, it seems. I love that because I think that's that's a big part of the antidote. Right there is right there, yep, let's make it a survivor too, you know.
Speaker 2:I mean, I think that the way my mother has a Maxim, my mother's very wise and her thing, but she told me through many, many trials and tribulations, is never lose your giggles. And I really feel like you know this practice of being playful with my body. It's very childlike, right? Yeah, it's, it's very it's, it's very innocent in that way, and it allows us to be lighter with ourselves. And I will tell you and I'm sure you I don't. I will not tell you because I'm sure you know this, but for your, for your listeners, who maybe have men in their lives who struggle with erectile issues, is that I have seen over and over and over again that the men who I work with who have erectile issues also have problems with levity 100%.
Speaker 1:I would agree with that, yes.
Speaker 2:And the arousal system needs a mindset of levity If we are in this gravity place. Of life is hard. That's all the stuff that is an oxytocin right. Life is hard, I can't do this. I'm so stressed. I don't have time. You know, you can feel it in the body.
Speaker 1:Just that does not make things go. Right, the opposite of sexy.
Speaker 2:Right. So we want that playfulness. So I'm glad that you can feel that and it's just, it's a joy, it's just such a joy to share this with you.
Speaker 1:Oh, it's been a joy to have this conversation. Thank you so much. I'm totally having you back on.
Speaker 2:I'll come back anytime.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we'll have Erica back on because she is a. This is a teeny piece of the pie of all the stuff she knows, so you just just hang on, just wait no-transcript.