The Dark Night of the Soul - Episode 2

The Dark Night of the Soul

Hi, I'm Geoff, and welcome to my second episode of My Spiritual Journey, “The Dark Night of the Soul.” Join me in this thrilling episode as we dive into the pivotal years from 23 to 30, where my spiritual journey took an extraordinary turn. The clash between my Lower Self and Higher Self, that led to the complete breakdown of my physical life. 

Seeking answers and meaning in my life, I embarked on a transformative six-month spiritual ritual, unearthing profound transformative truths, spiritual experiences and the early signs of my awakening Kundalini.

Stay tuned for our next episode, “Rebirthing and Kundalini Experiences,” where my spirituality explodes into the most powerful spiritual experience I have ever experienced, the rising of the Kundalini. This awe-inspiring episode will definitely stretch your mind. 

Thanks for tuning in, and remember to subscribe for more episodes of my spiritual awakening.

Questions or comments. Contact GEOFF — EMAIL — LivingSpiritually101@gmail.com.
 

Transcript

THE DARK NIGHT OF THE SOUL 

Welcome, and thank you for tuning into this second chapter of my extraordinary spiritual journey. In this instalment, we dive deep into the years that shaped me from the age of 23 to 30, which is divided into two parts. Part 1 takes you on a ride through my daily adventures, unveiling a series of conflicts that turn my life into a whirlwind of confusion, excitement, and pain. I faced the constant clash between my spiritual aspirations and the demands of everyday life. 

Part 2 is where the real magic happens, here we plunge into the mystical realm and explore the spiritual realm that I was drawn to at this pivotal point in my life. The unforgettable prelude to what would later become known as the Dark Night of the Soul.

Restless after bidding farewell to the army, I embarked on a major escapade. One morning, fuelled by an insatiable thirst for adventure and restlessness, I threw caution to the wind, packed a bag, and set out on a hitchhiking journey across the vast expanse of Australia. A six thousand kilometre round trip, only to return home six months later with many more physical experiences.

As fate would have it, I stumbled upon a job at GMH, toiling away on the assembly line manufacturing cars, but the repetitive nature of the work soon proved to be a one-way ticket to insanity. Determined to break free from the chains of monotony, I quit that job. 

I saw a job advertisement in the local paper, which caught my eye, one that would lead me down an exhilarating path. Becoming a taxi driver in the area seemed like the perfect fit. 

Finally, I could embrace the freedom of the open road, working for myself, and no one breathing down my neck. This profession became my lifeline, sustaining me on and off for the next 50 years, playing a pivotal role in the forthcoming 7 years leading up to The Dark Knight of the Soul.

Taxi driving was what I desperately needed. It quickly taught me everything I had missed out on during my early formative years. I learned how to communicate and understand others. I have picked up literally thousands of people, the good, the bad, and the ugly of humanity. Those experiences were priceless for my development.

 I was young, single, and burdened only with the responsibility of survival. Life was a thrilling adventure, and I indulged in every whim and fancy that crossed my path. Then love found me in my late twenties, and I took the plunge into marriage, but that was just the beginning. With my new life unfolding, I set forth on an exhilarating journey of spiritual exploration, which spanned the next seven years of my existence. 

My spirituality was non-existent during my army days. But as I bid farewell to the military, a profound shift took place within me. I discovered peace and excitement through books. I read science fiction, science fantasy, UFOs, astral travel, and many other mystical subjects. Among them, the allure of magic and power enchanted me like never before. These tales I devoured, I vividly remember one evening as I soaked in the bath, enraptured by the words of Tolkien's masterpiece, The Hobbit. Lost in this book, I turned page after page, captivated by this tale, until the clock struck nine a.m. the next day. Only the constant cycle of draining cold water and replenishing it with hot water sustained me throughout the night. Such was my attraction to the mesmerising story.

 In the third episode of my journey, called Rebirthing and Kundalini Experiences, we will delve even deeper into the realms of spirituality, magic, and power. This is just the beginning, my friends, and the best is yet to come.

During this remarkable period of my life, two experiences etched themselves into my existence. Leaving an indelible mark upon my psyche, this is the first encounter. In the dead of night, after finishing work and seeking a connection beyond the realm of the ordinary, I delved into the realm of UFOs. Employing the power of my mind as a conduit, I entered a relaxed state of calmness, mentally reaching out, beckoning for a response by asking, can anybody hear me? Is anyone there? Then one night, a voice called out, piercing through the darkness. Addressing me not by my name, but by the name of Raymond. It resounded with clarity and its tone was sharp. This otherworldly encounter persisted for about two weeks, only to abruptly cease, leaving me puzzled and bewildered. To this day, the identity of this mysterious voice remains a tantalising mystery. Now we come to the second experience that gripped me tightly in its ethereal embrace. My fascination with astral travel consumed my being as well, and I diligently practised various exercises to traverse the astral realm. Among them was a technique entailing the elevation of my vibration, which was to gently propel me out of my physical form. I was having great difficulty doing this, but determined to find a way around it, I made a fateful decision, a decision that would forever alter the course of my astral explorations.

In the early morning hours, weary from a long night's work, I went to bed determined to conquer this obstacle once and for all. Drifting into a state of deep relaxation, I began the process of lowering my vibration, intending to ease myself out of my physical body, by dropping out of it. What a big mistake this was. Suddenly, I plummeted downward with the force of an out-of-control elevator, hurtling into an unknown abyss. There, in the inky depths, I found myself submerged in a strange, surreal substance. It was like a thick, creamy tomato soup, tinged with hues of pink and red, and swirled with wisps of white. It was as if somebody had infused cream into this peculiar concoction, and slowly stirred it. Yet, what I witnessed next, sent shivers cascading down my spine. Within this soup-like substance, the outlines of countless individuals materialised. Each distinct streak represented the outline of a person. It wasn't the sight that truly unnerved me, it was the overwhelming sound that hit me. A cacophony of voices, a symphony of whispers, filled the air, assaulting my senses from all directions. The deafening noise pounded upon me, threatening to engulf me. Desperation clawed at my core as I desperately sought an escape route. But my efforts only rendered me weaker. Just as I was on the verge of surrendering, a faint ringing pierced the tumultuous chaos, a distant bell tolling. Focusing on this fleeting sound, I felt an inexplicable shift, and instantly, I was returned to my familiar state of consciousness.

The ringing was the familiar chime of a railway crossing bell, about a kilometre away from my house. Where had I travelled during this harrowing journey? Was it the murky corner of a lower astral plane? Or a venture into the corridors of my mind. The answer eludes me to this day, but one thing is certain, I have no desire to revisit that realm ever again.

As my interests shifted and evolved, I bid farewell to the realms of science fiction and fantasy. When the time came to part with my cherished book collection, over 750 books I gave away. But my life wasn't totally in the realm of fantasy. Driven by an insatiable thirst for knowledge and self-improvement, I embarked on a two-year part-time course in human anatomy, which was a crucial stepping stone on the path to mastering the art of Radionics. Simultaneously, I delved into the intricate practices of Reflexology and Shiatsu, honing my skills to foster healing and harmony. Furthermore, in my unwavering quest for purification, I embraced fasting and embarked on various body cleanses, seeking balance and vitality in both body and spirit.

Following is a most pivotal shift in the grand tapestry of my spiritual journey. It all began with a chance encounter, a visit to a tarot reader that would forever alter the trajectory of my path. Little did I know that this encounter would unveil a world of wonder and possibilities, leading me to embrace the path of a Wiccan practitioner. As our conversation unfolded, I discovered the tarot reader's deep connection to Wicca, a mystical and ancient practice. He extended an invitation, a gateway into a realm where I could harness the very energy I had spent years studying. The moment I stepped foot into one of his information evenings, I was ignited with an insatiable desire to explore further. It was as if I had found the missing piece of a grand puzzle, an opportunity to not only comprehend energy, but to feel its pulse and mould it with intention.

The invaluable teachings of Wicca illuminated a profound truth. The art of transforming fear into potent positive energy, channelling and directing it with unwavering focus. Little did I know that this skill would become my lifeline during the impending trials of The Dark Knight of the Soul. For two years, I immersed myself in the intricacies of Wicca, embracing its wisdom with unwavering devotion.

Yet, dear listeners, every journey has its share of battles. The time has arrived for a momentous clash, the fierce struggle between the higher self and the relentless grip of the lower self. This tumultuous chapter marked the advent of the darkest period in my existence, the infamous Dark Night of the Soul.

My unwavering focus on the subjective aspects of life posed a monumental challenge. Balancing the pursuit of spiritual enlightenment with the practical demands of survival proved to be an arduous task. Responsibilities, ambitions, and the physical realm held little desire for my yearning to transcend earthly constraints.

As the weight of pressure and dissatisfaction mounted to unbearable heights. A profound sense of discontentment permeated every aspect of my being. I can still vividly recall those moments of despair, observing others effortlessly navigating their lives, surrounded by the warmth of family bonds and cherished friendships. Doubts plagued my mind. What was wrong with me? Why did I feel so disconnected? This internal conflict reached its crescendo. I was balancing on the edge of a complete breakdown, and then an event shattered the remnants of my fragile composure. A driver who drove one of my taxis was involved in a minor accident, and in a moment of overwhelming anguish, I succumbed to the raging storm within. I snapped, unleashing my fury upon him, and promptly terminated his employment. It was an outpouring of pent-up frustration and disillusionment, a breaking point I could no longer ignore. I approached my wife and told her I had reached my limit, my yearning for respite from the burdens that plagued me.

 In an act of drastic change, I decided to sell both of my taxis, which had been a symbol of my material success. It was a leap into the unknown. An acknowledgement that I had to embark on a quest for some truth, answers, direction, and a newfound sense of purpose in my existence. Unbeknown to me, the Dark Night of the Soul was merely the gateway to revelations and transformations that would shape the core of my being for the rest of my life.

Join me as we journey further into the recesses of my spiritual awakening, where light emerges from the depths of darkness. Guiding me towards profound self-discovery and realisations. 

During my time practising Wicca, I stumbled upon a book called The Sacred Magic of Abramelin the Mage. This ancient manuscript, dating back to the 14th century, captivated me, beckoning me to do a six-month spiritual ritual. An extraordinary endeavour culminating in communion with my Holy Guardian Angel. 

Driven by an insatiable hunger for answers, I approached my wife with an earnest declaration. This ritual was my last resort. I had reached a point where finding meaning and purpose in my existence became a matter of life or death. The weight of my words cannot be understated, for I had never experienced a more profound sense of despair in my entire life. If I did not find answers, I was not going to live. It was as simple as that. 

This ritual unfolded in three distinct parts, each spanning two months. With time, the intensity of the ritual increased, intertwined with a series of intricate variations. I did not complete the entire six-month journey, despite the dire warnings and consequences for failing to do so. I later realised that it was not meant for me to complete at this time. I still had much living to do, lessons to learn, and karmic debts from a past life to reconcile.

Creating a sacred space within a spare room, beneath my house, I constructed a modest altar and meticulously cleansed it of any spiritual impurities. The restrictions of the ritual were to read solely spiritual texts, not venture outside the property, and abstain from sexual activities, an endeavour I must confess I failed at. I will delve deeper into this aspect in due time. I maintained a diary and regularly consulted the I Ching, an ancient Chinese divination system, which became an invaluable tool for seeking guidance and navigating the labyrinth of my journey. 

Yet, the crux of the ritual demanded a profound act, acknowledging my negative actions and seeking forgiveness. Twice a day, fifteen minutes before sunrise and fifteen minutes before sunset, I embarked on this solemn path, admitting the transgressions that burdened my conscience. The first morning I started, darkness surrounded me, and massive anxiety gripped me. To whom should I pray? What words should I say? The fear of the unknown loomed large, surpassing any previous trepidation I had experienced in my Wiccan practices, alone in that room, with only myself to confront.

I trembled at the prospect of confessing my wrongdoings to an unfamiliar spiritual entity. I began tentatively, beseeching the universe for guidance and forgiveness. The weight of my negative behaviour pressed heavily upon me, for it was no small task to admit my flaws. The concept of sin-laden with guilt did not resonate with me, a topic I will explore in a future instalment on the distinction between spirituality and religion.

I mumbled a few words and then bolted from the room. Gradually, my timid mumblings gained strength. Evolving into 5, 10, and eventually 20-minute sessions, and longer, a lot longer. My mind opened, allowing a torrent of negative experiences to flow forth. The intensity grew, accompanied by awe-inspiring dreams and profound encounters, a testament to my alignment with this sacred path.

I delved deeper into this formidable endeavour, moving into the next phase of the ritual, months 3 and 4, my confessions intensified, becoming a thrice daily practice. At this point, the task felt more natural. I was on my knees, tears streaming down my face, beseeching forgiveness with unyielding sincerity.

Even in the middle of this profound vulnerability, I continued to experience astonishing revelations, reaffirming that I was indeed on the right path. 

As I embarked on the fifth and sixth months of the ritual, a momentous event unfolded. An unmistakable voice resounded within the depths of my mind, declaring with clarity and sharpness. You are forgiven. It was a moment of transcendence, the culmination of my six-month journey, despite its early completion at around five and a half months. Later in this episode, I will divulge the reasons behind this unexpected conclusion. 

Following are some of my extraordinary experiences. I will strive to recount them in some semblance of order, from the initial stages to the final months of my ritual.

Fear gripped me as I embarked on this life-changing journey. Sensations permeated the room, a sense of beings and swirling energies coalescing into a vortex surrounding me. In hindsight, I believed this turmoil was a projection of my mind, a concoction of powerful fear and heightened emotions.

Clinging on desperately, I sought protection, my face buried in the floor, imploring the universe and anyone else who was listening to help me. With closed eyes, I entered a realm of ethereal visions. Threads of energy traversed the screen of my mind, fragmented and fleeting, each moving in its direction, twisting, fading, and reappearing in a mesmerising dance.

Over time, these strands transformed, assuming a roundish shape, and receded away from me, shrinking into the distance, only to be replaced by a new thread, a pulsating rhythm of energy pulling away. In this rhythmic ebb and flow, a revelation struck me. The energy receding from me in my mind's eye was entering me. I started formulating my confessions, linking them, harmonising with this mesmerising pulse of energy. This pulsating energy has been a companion for over four decades and remains with me to this day, a constant reminder of my journey. Looking back now, I understand that my third eye was awakening, a throbbing sensation in my forehead. A pounding of sensations that made me believe my head would burst. As I concluded my prayers, I sat quietly to gently release the potent energy built up within my head, a testament to the intensity of my confession. 

These transformative experiences birthed new revelations. In moments of meditative relaxation after my confessions, I peered into the depths of my mind's eye, only to be confronted by the sudden apparition of massive creatures.

Which filled my vision before vanishing into the abyss. The shock of these encounters reverberated through my being. Time and again, this phenomenon repeated itself, with new creatures appearing and disappearing. The previous night had forewarned me of their arrival in a dream where I was walking on a jetty, and colossal creatures emerged from the depths of the sea all around me. They were bigger than whales. It was as if I had been foretold of this mental cleansing, a purification of my subconscious mind. All of these creatures had a reptilian appearance. 

Another time during my confessions, a faint glow emanated from the upper-right corner of my mental screen. Day after day, this glow intensified, transforming into a radiant light that pierced through the clouds.

It was as if witnessing the moon shining on the tops of the clouds. As I observed these clouds, they began their descent, and the glow transformed into a beam of light, exerting pressure upon the clouds, and pushing them downward. The beam vanished as the clouds receded below my line of sight. A profound stillness enveloped my mental screen, a profound blackness, pure and crisp, shining with an undefinable clarity of pure, unadulterated blackness.

I sat there, captivated by this sight. This occurred towards the conclusion of my ritual, leaving me with a lingering wonder. What would have unfolded had I continued? Perhaps, in the future, when I embark on a similar ritual, a sequel to this awe-inspiring journey, I shall uncover the answers, armed with newfound wisdom.

Here, I recount some of my most captivating dream experiences, each laden with profound symbolism and hints of the extraordinary. In one dream, I found myself traversing two lines of energy. I was drawn towards a huge, solid, metal door. A sense of urgency overwhelmed me as I desperately sought to open it.

I resorted to pounding on its unyielding surface, but my efforts proved futile, and I awoke with a start. The following night, the same dream replayed itself, identical in every aspect. However, this time, as I approached the door. I stood there with a newfound calmness within me, and the door effortlessly slid open. Gliding on this ethereal energy, I entered a vast room where a holy man, surrounded by disciples adorned in white robes, sat upon a raised floor. Overwhelmed with emotion, I sank to my knees, tears streaming down my face. I then woke up. It is said that we venture into a non-physical subjective group in our sleep, a realm of learning and growth. This dream marked my first contact with such a group, and over the years, I have been blessed with several more encounters. In another dream soon after, I was walking alongside this holy man. We were traversing a long corridor adorned with windows, each unveiling a distinct scene. His words resonated with profound truth when he revealed that endless realities exist beyond each window. Casting my gaze back down this seemingly infinite corridor. I beheld an awe-inspiring vista of windows, stretching as far into the distance in both directions as I could see. It was a potent reminder of the boundless nature of existence.

 A game of pool set the stage for another remarkable dream. Ready to take the break, I blinked, only to find the game already in progress. Blinking again, the game advanced further, and yet, in another blink, the game had concluded. I had witnessed the entire game unfolding from start to finish, without playing a shot. 

Little did I know that it would take another nine years before I would find my physical spiritual teacher, an event I shall delve into in the upcoming fourth video which is entitled, My Trips to India, 16 of them.

Now visualise a huge polished black stone floor. Embedded with veins of white, which beckoned me in yet another vivid dream. It was dark, and there were hundreds of people following my lead. Suddenly, a gigantic bolt of golden lightning struck the ground far in the distance, igniting the veins in the floor. This energy was hurtling towards us in these veins. Panic ensued among the crowd, and anxiety gripped my being, for there was definitely no escape from this energy. With a surge of spontaneous inner understanding, I raised my arms just as the energy reached my feet. It shot up through my body, bursting forth from my fingertips. Illuminating the entire sky in its radiance. Little did I comprehend at the time, that this dream served as a warning, a premonition of the forthcoming rise of my Kundalini, an event that would transpire four years later. The physical experience associated with this awakening shall be revealed in the next section. 

A white cathedral emerged as the stage for yet another powerful dream. Shrouded in darkness, it had a round domed roof. From the doorway emanated a blinding white fire. Fearlessly, I stepped into the furnace like blaze. I then emerged atop the cathedral roof, heavily pregnant. In a moment of confrontation, a huge three-headed dog known as Cerberus from Greek mythology began snarling and gnashing its teeth at me. With a single calm, defiant backhander, I sent the creature tumbling over the edge. Gazing at the stars, I raised my arms and again, golden energy flowed from my hands. As I watched this energy, it began connecting the stars. Until the entire sky formed a tapestry of golden interconnectedness, symbolism abounds in this dream. The cathedral and white fire represent being purified by the fire of spiritual energy. Being pregnant represents giving birth to a new life, which follows the purification process. Cerberus, the three-headed dog, is the guardian of the underworld, and one head embodies the past, the second the present, and the third the future. Its role is to allow us entry into Hell, but to keep us forever trapped.

Finally, in this dream, I was shrouded in complete darkness. As I looked around, I saw I was standing on a brilliant sphere. I initially perceived it as the Earth, yet upon closer inspection, I realised it was the entire universe, galaxies, and constellations unfolded before my eyes. A breathtaking reminder of the vastness that exists beyond our mortal comprehension.

Following are some physical experiences. Approximately two months into my practice, a series of bodily encounters unfolded. I must be straightforward in describing these encounters, as they hold great significance. On a single night, while sleeping, I experienced an astonishing five wet dreams in one night. The overwhelming nature of these events led me to question if they would ever cease. Although their occurrence left me incredulous, I cannot deny their existence.

I came to understand that this encounter marked the initial stirring of my Kundalini energy physically, which will be discussed in the next episode. However, I must caution you that the forthcoming episode contains intensely provocative sexual content, surpassing the magnitude of what I have just disclosed many times over.

During a tranquil moment sitting outdoors, I was abruptly interrupted by an inner voice commanding. Name your daughter, and I was given a name. Without hesitation, I hastened indoors and told my wife she was pregnant, which, as fate would have it, she indeed was. Consequently, we did name our daughter the name revealed to us.

In addition, my creativity surged to extreme heights. My mind became an incessant generator of poetry, ceaselessly conjuring verses for days on end. These poems effortlessly flowed forth. Requiring no conscious effort, this overwhelming influx of creative energy nearly pushed me to the brink of insanity.

Moreover, I underwent profound sensations of unity with everyone and everything. An inexplicable realisation permeated my being. I knew I was an inseparable part of a collective whole. To convey these emotions adequately is impossible. 

The most impactful incident is yet to be revealed. As I previously mentioned, the underlying purpose behind embarking on this transformative journey was to unearth some truth and find my life's purpose. It was at this juncture that a close friend of my wife visited us. As a token of her visit, she presented my wife with a small paperback book entitled Seth Speaks by Jane Roberts. This remarkable book transcribed the words of an entity channelled through Jane Roberts in a trance state. Once I started reading it, I couldn't put it down, compelling me to consume it in two days. I remain astounded by the uncanny timing with which such vital information manifests when we need it the most. Consequently, I obtained and devoured all of Jane Robert's subsequent works. That little book saved my life and gave me a lifeline out of the dark depths I had fallen. I began to grasp the concept of the conditioned self, otherwise referred to as the ego, personality, or lower self.

The wisdom imparted by that tiny book formed the bedrock upon which I built my journey. Since then, my understanding has continually expanded, ascending from one level of insight to the next over the passing years. The pursuit of knowledge has become an eternal endeavour, a path I embrace wholeheartedly.

Upon completing the ritual, I emerged, forever transformed. Still, my creative faculties were remarkably high, their intensity had slightly diminished.

 It is essential to recount the story of a man I encountered during my Wiccan pursuits, who also embarked on this very same ritual, but failed to see it through to the end, resulting in a severe heart attack. I avoided such negative repercussions. The outcome is predominantly shaped by one's personal beliefs. If we believe in an adverse outcome, it may well manifest. I can understand why the threats were in this manuscript, it would compel people to continue the ritual to the end. My motivation for undertaking this practice stemmed from a yearning for truth and survival, not for the allure of magic or communion with my holy guardian angel, as the final weeks were to culminate with this. All I sought was a glimpse of truth to guide my existence. And indeed, I discovered that fundamental truth, leaving me immensely gratified with my newfound wisdom and experiences. That simple book, gifted to my wife forever, transformed and saved my life. A few months later, my first daughter was born.

After completing the ritual, I decided to turn my plant-collecting hobby into a business. Little did I realise this business was going to be the means for me to fulfil my karmic obligations, which I was obliged to complete this lifetime. I erected a quarantine house and embarked on journeys throughout Asia. Scaling mountains and returning home with rare plants. This pursuit consumed me for a few years until the arrival of my second daughter prompted a relocation, two thousand kilometers to a warmer climate north. 

In retrospect, I now possess a profound comprehension of the inner workings of the ritual. I recognise that the manuscript from which it originated was penned four centuries ago. The consciousness of individuals during that era differed vastly from our contemporary mindset. Hence, we can only approach this ritual from the vantage point of the present moment. With a revised plan in mind, I intend to embark upon this ritual once more one day, ensuring its completion and documenting the journey as it unfolds.

The ritual necessitates a span of six months to achieve its desired effects. It commences gradually, steadily intensifying every two months. The process naturally escalates in potency as it progresses. I am convinced that this marked the awakening of my Kundalini energy. Most of my experiences throughout this practice revolved around the themes of energy and power. My dreams were characterised by vivid lightning imagery, and were linked to the concept of Kundalini. I could delve further into this subject, but I will reserve this for the forthcoming episode and future episodes, where I shall provide intricate details. Moreover, in a future episode, I will explain the meditation I was doing and how it works. I call it a mixture of dynamic meditation and passive meditation. 

The next instalment promises to be a riveting exploration of a profound rebirth event that unfolded during a four-day self-development retreat. The culmination of this retreat witnessed the eruption of Kundalini energy, constituting the most overpowering encounter I have ever encountered. Words fail to encapsulate its magnitude. This powerful energy flowing through my body caused many physical, and spiritual events to all sorts of people around me, they will definitely stretch your mind. I can only hope to relay the unfolding events accurately, bearing in mind that aspects of my experiences are strictly suitable for adult audiences, being one of a very potent sexual nature.

Please subscribe for notifications of future episodes, and I thank you sincerely for listening.