E3: Kate's Journey of Reinvention, Midlife Fitness, and Instagram

Kate shares her journey of falling out of love with her HR career and deciding to become a personal trainer. She discusses the impact of children growing up, the role of perimenopause in her decision-making, and the importance of self-care. Kate emphasizes the benefits of strength training at midlife, including bone health and supporting joint health. She encourages listeners to start small with exercise and find their motivation and goals. The episode concludes with a discussion on Kate's success on Instagram. In this conversation, Kate and Laura discuss their experiences with building a following on Instagram and the challenges and pressures that come with it. They also explore the impact of social media on mental health and self-esteem, as well as the positive aspects of connecting with others and promoting services through Instagram. The conversation ends with a message of inspiration and encouragement for listeners.

Takeaways 

• Building a following on Instagram can be a combination of hard work and luck.
• There is pressure to constantly post and come up with new ideas on Instagram, which can be overwhelming.
• Social media can lead to comparison and feelings of inadequacy, but it can also provide a supportive community and opportunities for global reach.
• It's important to be aware of the negative impact of social media and take breaks when needed.
• Instagram can be a powerful platform for promoting services and connecting with like-minded individuals.

You can find Kate at 

www.yourfuturefit.com

E :kate@yourfuturefit.com

IG: @yourfuturefit

M: 07801 341688

LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/kate-oakley-a9758712b/

Laura is a life and menopause Coach and a wedding Celebrant. Find out more below.

Free Menopause Symptoms Tracker https://static1.squarespace.com/static/5e61009edab1950197f83896/t/62a0798f79934a0dfbdca666/1654684094105/Free+menopause+symptoms+tracker+

Email: laura@marvellousmidlife.co.uk

Website: www.marvellousmidlife.co.uk

Linked In: https://www.linkedin.com/in/laurashuckburgh/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/marvellous_midlife/

Website : https:www.thechateaucelebrant.com/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/marvellousmidlife/

Transcript

Laura (00:01.519)
Welcome to the marvellous Midlife Podcast, where the wonderful tales of midlife individuals come into life. I'm your host, Laura Shuckburgh, and I am thrilled to be here on this journey with you. Midlife is often portrayed as a time of crisis. I truly believe it's a chapter of opportunity, growth and transformation. Join us for each episode as we share the stories of people who wholeheartedly embrace this phase of life.

From career inventions, from career reinventions even, and facing adversity to personal awakenings, we'll explore the challenges and the triumphs of midlife. Today's guest is Kate Oakley, who at 50 had fallen out of love with her 25 year career as a HR director. And in her words, I wanted to return to jumping out of bed in the morning with joy, passion and energy.

So in the full throes of midlife during lockdown 2020, she decided to embark in a completely different career at V-Trade. Welcome Kate.

Kate (01:11.362)
Thank you Laura, thank you for having me.

Laura (01:14.503)
An absolute pleasure, always a pleasure to talk to you. So the reason I wanted to have you on today is because I think it's really inspiring when somebody decides in midlife to completely change what they were doing, because I think we get to a stage where we are, we think we may be too old to change, or we have become so stuck in what we were doing.

Well, I'm just wondering, I love that bit about, you know, that you wanted to wake up with more joy. So can you kind of remember the moment when you thought to yourself, you know, my life isn't working and how your journey sort of started on this new cast?

Kate (01:54.854)
I actually do remember exactly the moment because I was working as a freelance HR consultant, having been an HR global director for many years, traveling around the world, and I would say very successful at it, I then went freelance and I was consulting to try and get a bit of a better work-life balance.

And I remember the moment because I'd just won a new contract. And I went to a coffee shop from the meeting and it was a really quite lucrative contract. And I thought my heart was, it sank. I was about to phone my husband and say, I've, I thought I was going to phone him and say, I've won the new contract. I got it. I've got the contract. But actually I, my heart sank and I just thought, Oh no.

And then that was a light bulb moment for me. And I thought, I've always vowed, if I ever felt like that and I had a choice, then I would do something about it. And so that was the moment I thought, right, it's time to change. I don't want to feel like this for the next chapter. And I knew my kids were older. One was heading to university. The other one didn't need me around so much. And I thought, I can't possibly feel like this for the next.

15, 20 years or however long I was going to be working for. So it was then that moment.

Laura (03:28.295)
It's interesting, isn't it? So also, you spoke about then that one of them was off to university, your children. Do you think that can have an impact on, I think we can't speak about everybody else, but from the work that you've done and the people that you work with now, but that seems to be a bit of a pivotal point as well, when it feels like you've been so used to kind of looking after them and thinking about them, could that have had any correlation at all with you thinking, oh, maybe time for a change?

Kate (03:58.253)
I think so, yes, because...

You've got, I was looking at a couple of decades ahead and possibly, I mean, people call it an empty nest, which is a rather bleak way of looking at it, isn't it? So I would say more time, more space, more mental space, more emotional space, as well as the pragmatic side of it, having just more hours in the day because I'm not.

helping another couple of people along through their day. So I really think so, yes. And I was working a mixture of part-time, full-time all the way through their childhoods. So I was used to juggling that.

But I guess I felt that I would have the energy to do it. Whereas previously that juggling.

of being, you know, and I like, I wanted to be a great mom. Nothing, you know, I want, Christmas had to be amazing. Birthdays had to be amazing. The house had to be clean and tidy. The food cooked from scratch. You know, I wasn't, no surprise probably, Laura, that, you know, I wanted everything to be a good nine out of 10. And I thought, you know what? I...

Kate (05:21.626)
I haven't got the energy to then throw myself into a new career anyway. There are so many different things, so many things I could say that led me to make the change because it was the kids thinking that they're not needing me so much. It was the sudden feeling of not wanting to do HR anymore. But I also think perimenopause, I thank perimenopause for it as well. I think...

my mindset had shifted and I started to care. I was thinking, do you know what? I care less what other people think of me. So I feel like I'm going to be less ridiculed by choosing something as a career that perhaps young people normally choose, personal trainer.

Laura (06:00.211)
And isn't that.

Laura (06:07.623)
Yeah, we'll talk about that in a minute, but I just, before we do, I just think it's really interesting, isn't it? Because just to touch on, you know, that whole thing about not caring, it links to very menopause and this need for change as a woman when it comes to this time of life. And it definitely brings it up, doesn't it, within us as women at this time. And it is the perfect time almost, it feels, to make those changes. And often,

women that come to me for coaching, you know, they almost, they feel like they're either at a crossroads or they're kind of standing on a, just on the sort of the brow of, on the cliff, you know, and they just don't really know, or they're at a kind of crossroads and they don't really know which way to go. And it brings up so much. And so, and then one more thing though, I just wanted to dig into that, is the perimenopause thing and not caring. Because I absolutely love now that, through all my sort of research in that,

switches off our decline of estrogen, which is like our caring hormone, isn't it? Starts to decline, and actually with that, we start to just give less shit really, about what people think about us, or maybe even about caring so much for other people. So that role starts to diminish a bit with our hormones. But actually that can be quite confusing, I think, for women, because it's almost like you were saying you want to be the perfect mother.

Kate (07:15.863)
Yes.

Laura (07:34.595)
have the perfect house, care for your children, bring them up in the very best way. And I think perimenopause, did you feel that ever? Did you, do you, I know you said you felt like you didn't care so much what people think, but did that go as much towards your family and people like friends maybe saying no more?

Kate (07:57.742)
I don't think towards my family, although there is a little bit of a sense of once they hit a certain age, not my work here is done, but a lot of the hard graft I feel is done by the time the oldest one hit 18. And I'm still very supportive and involved, but I've got to step back and I want to step back.

for him to make his own mistakes. I don't want to be that parent that's in all his business. I know there are lots of parents still doing that and that's their call, but for me, no, I want to let them forge their own way and make their mistakes along the way. But it's not that I've stopped caring so much.

with the no to friends and family, I'd definitely say no if I don't want to go to a social engagement, whereas perhaps when I was younger, I might've just forced myself to go. Now I think, no, if I don't want to go, I'm not going. I don't know, I'll have to give that one a bit more thought, Laura. I haven't, that's a new question on me. I haven't thought about that. I guess, do you know what I also, do you know what I think? I actually think I need more care.

Laura (09:16.031)
Interesting, isn't it?

Kate (09:21.558)
So I need more looking after than I used to. I need to spend more time on myself. I need to do my breath work for my mental health. I need to focus on my exercise. I'm not just talking about work. I need to really think about my nutrition, my sleep. Yeah, there's so much I feel I need to look after for myself and be kind to myself.

Laura (09:22.708)
Yeah.

Kate (09:50.774)
that maybe you're right, maybe there isn't as much to go round. Maybe I, maybe I didn't put myself, yeah. So I was going to say, maybe I didn't put myself high enough up the priority list for my thirties and my forties. And then there was a little sense of, well, this is my time now. And I am, I'm going to put myself pretty much towards the top.

Laura (09:56.063)
That's really interesting, isn't it?

Laura (10:21.055)
Good, good for you, I say, because this is just something that I hear a lot, is that when we're in menopause and perimenopause, we all of a sudden have this realisation that we are important. And I don't know about you, but when I was growing up, it almost seemed very selfish to think about doing things for myself. We were actually sometimes told, weren't we, like, socially as little girls, don't be selfish, don't think about yourself, you

And actually, like you've just said, that realization that you need more yourself. And actually, when you are fully resourced yourself, you've got a lot more energy to give as well. And you could be much better for everybody. Quite often. I think we just go along just on this kind of treadmill of just caring and doing as much as we can. And then all of a sudden we hit menopause or perimenopause and we just think something's got to change here because I just can't this can't go on like this. It's it's just too much. I'm just going to have a.

Kate (11:04.578)
Yeah.

Kate (11:16.258)
Now.

Laura (11:21.084)
Well, have a good night.

Kate (11:23.034)
Yeah, I don't think I could have continued living how I was living, certainly for my 30s and 40s, for much longer. The pace and the intensity was just too much. I had IBS, really chronic IBS, irritable bowel syndrome, for about 10 years and it was only when I resigned. It vanished. It vanished. I never had it again.

I hadn't even left my place of work and it vanished. I often look back on that and think, why did you put yourself through that? But I guess it's, you're busy striving, aren't you? I think in your 20s, 30s, and then part of your 40s. It's all about, that's why it was for me, it was all about striving and forging my career and as I said, trying to then be excellent as a mum and.

and it was just, I think it was just all too much. So everything kind of came together and I feel like this is where I was meant to be, absolutely where I was meant to be.

Laura (12:34.099)
Well, let's talk about that where you're meant to be and what you're doing now. So you mentioned about your new career move. So what did you train in and tell us about why you did that?

Kate (12:46.366)
I, having had that light bulb moment, I knew exactly what it was I wanted to do. I didn't have to take time reflecting and coming up with ideas and brainstorming, you know, what do I enjoy and what's my passion and what do I think I could be good at? It was instantaneous because I thought about it in my 40s, my early 40s, and that was to become a personal trainer. And...

I dismissed it in my 40s because I told myself I was too old. No one would take me seriously. Who would want a trainer that old with the body of a 40-something year old? No one would want a trainer like that. And I thought, you know, you're being ridiculous. Get over yourself. That ship sailed. You should have done that decades ago. And then when I had this light bulb moment, that's it, well, I'm going to do that. I'm going to retrain as a personal trainer.

and I know I'm going to work with perimenopausal and postmenopausal women. Already knew my market, you know, the clients I was going to strive to work with. I knew I wanted to run retreats. So it was, it was, it was fast. The thinking process was fast. And so I signed up for the level two.

qualification. So with personal training, there's, there isn't a level one, bizarrely, it's level two and level three. And I didn't, I didn't interestingly sign up for level two and level three, just in case I bombed at the first qualification. So I guess I wasn't, you know, super confident about it all working out, but I thought, right, just sign up if it doesn't work out.

well, you'll have learned a lot on the course for your own training, for your own workouts. Because I've always been into training and working out. So, I had that interest, that passion there. And then I paid for the course and then lockdown hit, COVID hit. So...

Kate (14:54.342)
I took the best part of a year, I think, to do the qualifications. And I did level two, I did pass the exams, and that gave me the confidence to do level three. And you need level three to work with outside of a gym, which is what I wanted. I didn't want to work in a gym. I knew I wanted to work, you know, more for myself and one-on-one. So that was three coming up, right, three years ago.

Yeah, three years ago. Never been happier.

Laura (15:26.687)
Fantastic. And it's really well that's and that's wonderful isn't it because another thing that many people need in midlife and in menopause is purpose and to be doing something that's more meaningful you know like if you're just doing a job that has no meaning. People seem to be much more unhappy, and it becomes very important that we do something that we're passionate about. So,

Laura (15:56.839)
combining exercise and perimenopause and menopause. Why are you passionate about it?

Kate (16:06.126)
At that time, I'd already started to go into perimenopause. I was starting to get various symptoms, mood swings, non-existent libido, some joint ache, forgetfulness, brain fog. However, I still felt confident in myself. I still had good self-esteem.

And I could see the impact exercise was having on me compared to some of my friends and acquaintances that were also now going through perimenopause. And I could hear women my age saying, oh, I feel awful, I feel hideous, I can't bear it when I look in the mirror, I've got no energy, no get up and go, I just, I don't even know who I am anymore. I don't recognize myself.

But that's it now, it's game over. And I would say, what do you mean game over? Well, it's, you know, that's it, I'm finished. No point in trying now. And I would say, no, absolutely not. It's not game over at all. And it doesn't have to be like that. And we don't need to just go and put the slippers on and be unhappy with what we see in the mirror. I just, I felt very strongly about that.

And I also recognized that weight training, resistance training particularly, has the power, it's like a mini superpower, Laura. Honestly, it gives you a resilience and an ability to deal with some of the shit that life throws at us, which I wouldn't be without.

I just wouldn't be without. So I'm thinking, no, I can make a difference here. I can change how some of these women are feeling, not just about their physical appearance, but how they're feeling about life, which sounds a bit grandiose, a bit overly ambitious maybe, but that's how I felt. And...

Kate (18:31.37)
I'm pleased to say that that's what I do feel that I do with women. And that's the bit I love. It's not about 12 of those, you know, come on, let's, you know, do 12 of those please, now another 12. That's not the exciting bit for me. The exciting bit is supporting a fellow midlife woman or a woman who's going through early menopause.

but as it, you know, mostly they're midlife women in my experience so far, supporting them and encouraging them and building them up to feel just bloody brilliant. You know, and why not? Why can't we all just feel bloody brilliant in midlife? And I know that's your ethos as well. And we can, can't we? We can feel bloody brilliant. It's not game over. And I also want, you know, you hear some,

Laura (19:28.548)
No, it's just, no.

Kate (19:30.602)
Some people say, oh, I feel invisible. I just feel invisible. And I really don't feel invisible. And that's a mindset thing. It's not about whether you're a size X, Y or Z, or you've got X, Y, Z color hair. It's a mindset. And I refuse to feel invisible. And I'm not going to feel invisible. Come back to me when I'm 75, and I really hope that I'm still saying the same thing. I hope so. That's the plan.

Laura (19:59.291)
No, I think you probably will be. I think you've hit the nail on the head though, that, you know, that being feeling invisible or confidence is like, it's like an inner, it's inner work, isn't it? It doesn't matter kind of. It's not so important what is on the exterior, although feeling fit helps you to feel better in your body, but it is definitely a feeling and it's an exercise has the power, just as you know, mindset work and coaching and all sorts of different things, but to

give you more inner confidence. And that can be from sort of like the inside out, because it's not just good for your mindset and everything's good for your body. And actually that chain, that combination of both is really powerful. And I think when you can start to see your body changing through exercise, magic can happen really.

Kate (20:50.898)
It really can happen. And that's, I mean, I'm passionate about strength training, particularly, and as we're talking, I'm just thinking of a client I had earlier today. And I knew, I felt the time was right for me to remind her of where she started and where she was today. And I don't know if that is what spurred her on, but suddenly she's lifting weights.

much heavier than she's ever lifted. She's going harder than she's ever gone. She was the strongest she's ever been in that session. And the smile from ear to ear, when she realized just how far she'd come. And it doesn't matter what size weights. I'm not gonna even say what they are. It doesn't matter.

So, because people ask all the time, well, what size weights do you use, Kate? Doesn't matter. It's about where you started and where you get to. It's that feeling of, I am doing something so positive for myself. I'm feeling stronger. I'm feeling better about myself. I know I'm helping my body be the best it can be. It's, the journey's not over, and it's never over, this is forever. And that...

is so, it's overused the word empowering, but it is empowering. And I just see these women kind of blossom, kind of glow, grow, and become a little bit kind of badass, actually, you know. And I would love every woman to look in the mirror and just reckon themselves a bit.

really just reckon themselves a bit. And again, that's not about what, you know, it's not about the shape or size you are. Think of the, think of Superwoman and you'll know what I mean. Yeah.

Laura (22:44.607)
It's that inner strength, isn't it? It's an inner knowing and an inner confidence that we can lose when we start to get older. We live in a very ageist society. And so there's all these kind of societal pressures on us, this anti-aging market. We revere youth, especially in the Western culture like we live in. Whereas if we were in the Eastern cultures, wisdom and...

honor and an older age is much more revered over there. And so I think we have quite a lot to deal with, you know, just as women living as we do in the societies that we live. And so anything that can help us is wonderful. And now, it would be really good, actually. One of the reasons that strength training is so important, isn't it, is because our bones, especially as we go into menopause.

osteoporosis can become a problem, we can get brittle bones, and it can be a real issue. So can you just tell us why strength training is so beneficial at midlife menopause and beyond?

Kate (23:47.278)
Well, you've hit the nail on the head with one of the key reasons we need to be strength training, which is for bone health. And when I first started to do my training and do more research around this stage of life, because that doesn't come into the training anywhere, just to say, it's quite generic. And I would say...

Laura (24:09.032)
Really?

Kate (24:10.486)
you know, they're missing something, these personal trainer places. But I was shocked at how many people go on to have a fracture in their 50s. And I think it's even got worse since my first, three years ago, I think stats were saying one in three of us would have a fracture. And I think it's actually got worse and it's now more like one in two. And I think...

it almost started to make sense that to me then, because you know about, you know, you're, I think, oh yeah, my mother-in-law had a hip fracture. Oh yeah, my aunt's had a hip fracture, starts to add up. Whereas, and we can actually do something about it. That generation didn't know.

But we know, and that's why we need to shout about it, that if we actually do strength training or resistance training, so that just means using a resistance, giving your bones something to work against, simply. So that can be body weight as a starting point or using dumbbells, it could be using bands. You don't have to go to a gym. Anyone who's listening and thinks, oh, but I don't like the gym. You don't need to go to a gym. You don't go to a gym, do you?

Laura, I don't, I rarely go to a gym. I do it in my garden. So actually just picking up those dumbbells and or using bands, giving your bones something to work against will actually improve that bone density and hopefully prevent fractures later in life. There's number one, lean muscle mass. So changing our body composition.

from fat to more lean muscle. That's gonna help us as we get older, support our joints. A lot of women in their 50s will complain about their knees and say, well, I can't do any of that because of my knees. I've got bad knees. And actually, if you work on the strength in the quads, so those muscles at the top of your thighs, you're gonna start supporting the knee joint. So a lot of women, I think...

Kate (26:06.806)
they've written that off. They thought, well, I've got bad knees, so I can't do squats or lunges or any of this stuff I see people doing. That's not the case. Just find somebody who knows what they're talking about and do it slowly and gradually. And actually you can change that. Because 50 something for me is... Sorry Laura.

Laura (26:25.046)
So just...

Laura (26:29.391)
No, sorry, there was just a little bit of an overlap there. But I was going to say just in terms of muscle mass then, this strength training then actually does it burn more calories than doing other types of exercise? You know, is that true?

Kate (26:45.51)
I would say probably not. So cardio, a fast paced cardio, like a HIIT workout is gonna burn more calories if you did 15 minutes of HIIT compared to 15 minutes of strength training. But you can't really do very long HIIT workouts. The whole point of them is they're short, they're high intensity for a short period of time. Running, running is gonna burn calories, spinning, so that really, that...

Cardio, where you're really elevating your heart rate, is probably going to burn more calories. But that's not to say that strength training doesn't elevate your heart rate, it does. You know, I've got a fancy watch, I see it all the time, I can see every workout I do and what my heart rate's doing, and I'm burning a good number of calories during my strength workouts.

What I would say though is I don't encourage women to think about how many calories they're burning when it comes to exercise. I don't think that for me might be controversial, but I don't think it's the right focus. And I get lots of messages, oh, what's the best exercise for losing weight? What's the best exercise for burning calories? I would rather people thought about the benefits of exercise apart from the burning of the calories, because

If they want, if they have a weight loss goal, and I totally understand, a lot of women do, particularly in midlife. Yes, it is about calories consumed versus calories used, but let's not hang that hat onto exercise. Because what does that create in terms of healthy habits that are embedded? What happens when the weight perhaps is achieved? Does the exercise stop if that's why you're doing it?

I would say let's focus on bone health, heart health, creating that lean muscle mass. It's also, as we've talked about, it's good for mental health, for our self-esteem. There are so many benefits. People have more energy, they sleep better, they make the right choices around food when they're exercising, so that in turn may then help the weight loss. But I wouldn't focus on it for calorie burn.

Kate (29:02.75)
So I never say to a client who's got a nice, you know, got the fancy watch, oh, how many calories did you burn in that session? No, not, I don't think we should look at that. Does that make sense?

Laura (29:15.731)
Yeah, definitely does make sense. And I think anything that becomes like, well, you know, like when you're trying to get to a goal that's too goal-orientated and focused, like you said, the problem is that once you've got to the goal, then you drop off. So really I think the goal of exercise and when we're in midlife, it's about future-proofing our bodies and about longevity. That's what it feels like for me, you know? So it's about, it's a long-term goal. It's not like...

When I get here, I'm going to be happy. And that might be in six months when I've dropped half a stone or something. It's about, how can I, how can I be the healthiest I can? How, for me, it's about living longer. And I know that exercise will definitely help me to do that. And like you said, then it's the healthy eating, which happens. It all seems to happen. Together. When you start to become more healthy and start to think about and honor your own body, doesn't it? And I think exercise is a huge part of that. Important to me. And.

something that I encourage all my clients to do because of you know what's not to love and actually though your exercises that you do the classes that you do in your garden that you've spoken about which we haven't even talked about yet they are really great because they're bite size aren't they you do a lot of it on instagram you've got a big following on instagram people can find you on there or we'll drop the links in the bottom of course and just you can and it's called your future fit and you can go and have a look on there um but

Why do you tend to do those bite size school to workouts? What are the benefits of that?

Kate (30:52.678)
I do these short workouts, strength workouts, so they're around 10, 15 minutes, because I think it can be so overwhelming. It can be so overwhelming for women to think, where...

If they've never picked up weights, they're thinking, well, how am I ever going to do 45 minutes like I keep seeing everybody do? Totally out of my league, never gonna get there, what's the point? So they don't even pick the weights up and I totally get that. And then there's the women that have been doing the weights and perhaps they are struggling to make the time or find the time. And I think...

there's been a culture of these longer workouts and it feels like it's that or nothing. And then begins this, oh gosh, I haven't done a workout all week. I've just been really manic with work. Oh God, and then this spiral happens. Oh, you know, I'm a disaster, I'm useless. You know, what's the point? And then sometimes these bad nutritional habits then kind of come back in. And I just want, I wanted to encourage.

women to do what they can when they can. Because we're also talking about a time where there are lots of menopausal symptoms going on. That might be terrible night's sleep. You wake up in the morning and you just think, I had the best plans today, I was gonna do a workout. I can't, I'm just exhausted. But if you think, well, that's only 10 minutes, well, I can manage 10 minutes.

and they might do 10 minutes. And sometimes that 10 minutes is energising enough that the person then does it twice through. So I'm always saying, if you can, if you've got the time and the ability try and do these short workouts a second time and a third time through. So you're making up half an hour or 40 minutes or so.

Kate (32:47.382)
But if that's all you've got time-wise and physically, and you know, in the bank as it were, it's all better than nothing. Choosing something over nothing is always going to trump.

And if you think across the month, all those times that you just did 10 or 15 minutes, they add up, they really add up and they will make a difference. So I've had clients who it just doesn't work for them to do longer workouts. They have a lifestyle where it works for them to do what I call exercise snacks.

and they'll do five minutes here, five minutes there, five minutes when they're brushing their teeth, five minutes when they're hanging the washing out, honestly. And they get stronger and they're like, I can't believe it, I can't believe I've managed to get stronger without needing to do three workouts, 45 minutes every week, week in, week out.

doesn't work for everybody. So that was my goal, Laura, and I think it seems to resonate, seems to work for people. And I think just getting as many women in midlife as we can, picking up those weights, that's the overall goal.

Laura (34:03.387)
And I think, you know, you hit the nail on the head as well when you were talking about starting small and something is always better than nothing and whenever I'm coaching people, you know, they'll say to me well, or often people will say well I just haven't got the motivation to do that you know I haven't got the motivation to do it, you know, as though they're kind of waiting for this motivation to come.

Laura (34:33.419)
maybe getting a kind of routine in, isn't it? You know, so if you're thinking, well, so for me, I've got a habit tracker, and I've got my ticket off every day. So I'll have four or five things on my habit tracker for the week. And it's there's always exercise. And if I start tracking my habits, I find that I'm much more likely to do it. And it becomes like I call like a non-negotiable. So therefore exercise to me is a non-negotiable because I know it makes me feel so much better. And I know I it's future proof in my body and all the things we've talked about.

then there could be things like drinking more water or eating more healthily. And I loved what you said about doing something when you're doing something else. And I often encourage clients to do that. You know, so it's like putting one habit next to another habit, you know, like hanging out and washing, doing five squats or whatever you encourage people to do or picking up the dumbbells. But if you start to tag a habit onto another habit, it's quite often easier, isn't it, to keep it going?

Kate (35:29.022)
Yes, habits stacking. James Clear, yes, he calls it habits stacking in his book, Atomic Habits. Definitely. And I absolutely agree with you on that point about motivation. And I say exactly the same thing. If you're sitting around waiting for this magic motivation dust to come and sprinkle itself over you, you could be waiting a long time.

Laura (35:33.027)
Yes, that's it.

Kate (35:57.414)
I don't ever let myself get into that position because it's not very enjoyable, is it? That, oh gosh, I don't really feel like I'm doing that workout today. Oh yeah, but you know you should. I know, but I'm really exhausted or I'm busy. That whole internal dialogue is not a nice place to be. So you just have to do it. Like brushing your teeth, I find so boring. And I know it's quicker to brush your teeth.

But it's still one of those things, you don't even question it, do you? You know you have to do it, you do it. And for me, I think it's a better way to approach exercise. You just, you've just got to do it. It's not a, do I feel like it or not? You've just got to do it. It's like, I mean, like, yeah. Non-negotiable, something that has to happen. That's it.

Laura (36:40.819)
Exactly. Yeah, you just because.

Laura (36:48.895)
I think that's got to happen. How would you encourage people to start to lift weights if they've never started before, you know, what could be the one thing that they could do this week to help themselves to start on that strength training track, so to speak.

Kate (37:07.182)
I would say if you've never lifted weights at all and you don't, maybe you don't even know any in the house, I would start with something like a wall sit when you're brushing your teeth. So a wall sit is when you, almost sitting on an imaginary chair, for those that don't know that are listening, sitting on an imaginary chair, the small of your back is pressed against the wall and your...

thighs are parallel with the ground. So it's all about sitting on a chair against the wall, while you're brushing your teeth and time it. And the reason I'm saying start here is because the first time you do it, your thighs, the quads, the muscles in your thighs will burn quite quickly. And then two days later, you will surprise yourself and think, oh my gosh, I can already do many more seconds later, more.

Three days later, you're holding it for more seconds. By the end of the week, anyone will be surprised by how much longer they can hold it. And that is the point I want to make, is anyone can make progress. So if you're thinking, well, oh yeah, but I'm not that type, or Kate might say that, but that's because she's a personal trainer, or so and so says that, but that's because they exercise four times a week.

everyone can make progress and that'll prove it to yourself. So you can start with that and you're not going to find any more time in the day. And then if you're ready to kind of move on from that, I would say body weight, some body weight, just some squats as you've mentioned. You could even set a reminder, if you sat at a laptop working from home, at five to the hour, you could get up from your desk, which is a good idea anyway, because we're too long sat on a computer.

and do 12 squats or 12 stationary lunges. And then pick up, and then hold the weights.

Laura (38:58.783)
Absolutely. I've got a fabulous little tracker on it. Oh, sorry.

Kate (39:05.55)
That's it, and then from there, get ready to order some weights.

Laura (39:07.196)
I don't see.

Laura (39:11.251)
And I think, yes, get ready to order some weights. I've just had some weights come into my mum's where my mum works, she's got a charity shop that she runs. And she's, I said to her, oh, I really need some weights. And she's managed to bring me home three lots so far. So I'm now, I'm set up with weights. So I've just, no excuses. I should have to pop onto one of your classes. I was doing it last night at 10 o'clock. I was just doing a few bicep curls and stuff, which I thought was quite good. But I've got this...

Kate (39:31.179)
Yes, indeed.

Laura (39:40.823)
app on my phone, which is really useful. You know, talking about getting up from our desk. So I spend a lot of time behind my desk. It's called the, it's called the Pomodoro method. So it's you work for 25 minutes and then you have a five minute break and you do four lots of those and then you have a half an hour break. Really good because it just 25 minutes goes really quickly. Five minutes. I always just walk around and I actually spent having a fitness watch that does remind you to get up is really useful. It's really helpful for me.

Kate (40:08.756)
Yeah.

Laura (40:09.475)
and to track your steps. I've got one of my goals as well. He's got 10,000 steps a day. And having a tracker, anything that keeps you accountable, I think is really useful.

Kate (40:21.45)
I would recommend a tracker for steps as well. And if you can't afford, you know, want to wear on your wrist, you can get apps on your phone. You just have to remember to keep the phone always in your back pocket. Otherwise you're gonna miss out on tracking. But I think it definitely motivates you to just try and hit that goal. But I would also say...

make the goal, the good thing about on your phone, by the, on the watch or the phone is it will adjust the goal. So if you're at 5,000 steps a day at the moment, it will give you small increments. So you don't have to leap from 5,000 to 10,000. Or you can of course set your own goal.

and say, well, I'm going to go from 5,000 to 6,000 a day for the next week. Once you hit 6,000, see if you can get to 6,500. And I think that's the other thing with some of the things we're talking about, is if the goal is too huge and you fail, it can be really difficult to get yourself back up. And whereas if you set yourself small goals that you achieve,

and you feel that sense of success, it will motivate you to keep going. So that's why, you know, if you're thinking you're starting strength training, I wouldn't go straight in with, right, I'm going to do three workouts of 45 minutes a week. Maybe it's about just starting small and doing 10 minutes a day. One of my small workouts in the garden maybe. And building. Yeah, building from there.

Laura (41:56.327)
Absolutely. And I agree with that. Small steps lead to big changes, small incremental steps, and you're much more likely to keep them on you if they're smaller and not lose motivation as we've just been talking about. We're also talking about you know motivation. What's about you know

I think it's really important to have a why that you're doing something for. So for anybody that's listening, you know, if you're struggling and you're thinking, I need motivation, what's your why? What's your kind of why do you want to become fitter or why do you want to lose weight? You know, what is what's the bigger picture in that? What's it going to get for you? Um, and it needs and think big, you know, it's got to be bigger than I just want to get into, you know, a size 10 dress or something. It's like, why is that good for me in the long term?

you know, especially at this age, why is that important?

Kate (42:48.426)
I would add to that the long-term goal. Some, and I'm absolutely with you because it helps us think, well, what do I want to be like when I'm 70? So there's a little...

challenge that I ask people to do, which is to get up off the floor. Show me how you get up off the floor. And if I see that they're having to put their hands on their knees to press up or use a bit of furniture to press up and they're in their fifties, I will be quite direct and say, okay, you're needing a crutch to get up off the floor now and you're fifty something. What's that going to look like when you're seventy something? Ah, okay.

Right, yeah, not good. Okay, well let's work on that. We can work on that and we can change how you're getting up off the floor now so that you're strong and you're not going to be needing a crutch even when you're 70 something. And that can help is to kind of think how you might want to be showing up in your 70s or if you've got children that are starting to have grandchildren. But I would also add that for some, that feels a long way away.

So some are saying, well, I've got a grandchild now and I've noticed that, you know, when they come round, I just can't keep up. I can't play with them for long enough. I'm exhausted. They want to play hide and seek. I can only do one round and then I'm done. Well, that's an immediate goal right now about living your best life right now. And that can be quite motivating too.

So I think it can work to have some here and now goals and then those long-term ones as well. One client just messaged and said, she's just done four weeks with me, just three workouts a week. And she said, you know, I've just noticed I can finally pick up my surfboard when I go surfing. I've never been able to carry it before.

Kate (44:47.762)
I can carry it to the beach. I don't have to ask my husband to do it for me. And that's just in four weeks. And she was really pleased. That's really motivated her because that was important to her. So it can be these little things or just getting the Christmas decorations, you know, out of those, out of the loft.

and not needing to ask for help and carry those boxes down. These things can make a difference to keep on going with the exercise when you start to feel stronger, more capable and living life how you want to live it, not feeling restricted.

Laura (45:22.311)
Not making that noise when you get up. That midlife noise. Oh, why you sit down? I want to be fit so I don't make that noise.

Kate (45:29.12)
Yes.

Kate (45:33.878)
Yeah, not yet Laura, please not yet.

Laura (45:35.663)
Yes, not yet. No. Well, occasionally.

place. So, well, I think we've had a good conversation here about that. I think we've given lots of people hopefully some inspiration about starting some strength training for sure, and knowing that actually you can do it if you just start small and go, you know, keep doing something regularly, whatever that might be for you. And to think about, you know, what's your why behind? What's the reason you want to do that? For some people, it could be mobility.

some people it could be energy to play with their children or their grandchildren. Some people it could be getting into us, I suppose that dress that they couldn't get into last Christmas or something. I think it's very personal to each of us. But also the benefits of exercise for our minds is huge as well as our bodies. And I think that if people start to follow you on Instagram, which you've got a huge following actually, haven't you? Tell me just before we sort of bring this.

to close this conversation about your Instagram profile. Because I remember when we first sort of met each other online, because we've never actually met in person, have we? It was about the same time. We kind of started our businesses around about the same time and it was around lockdown. And I think we sort of had around the same amount of followers. I used to seem to have shot ahead of me, Kate, and you've got all these followers following you on Instagram.

Do you know why that is? Is that because you're doing lots of reels and because, you know, people are very interested in your exercise classes or, you know, is there some sort of magic formula for Instagram that you can share with us?

Kate (47:18.742)
Well, let me share then that...

Three years ago, when I re-qualified, I didn't even know how to share a story. I mean, I was, story, what is one of those and how do you do it? I didn't know what story was. I didn't know how to do anything apart from put a photo up, you know, of my kids or something, and, you know, write a word, a few words underneath. And no, tagging, didn't even know what tagging meant. And I honestly didn't have a clue and I've been winging it ever since.

worked out, but honestly, I've been winging it and making it up as I go along. And I, like you, I think worked incredibly hard to build up the first 10,000 really hard at it, you know, all the time. And then Instagram being Instagram and this world that I don't think, you know, any of us can get our heads around really.

I did come up with a reel that went viral and then that's taken it off. So yeah, it was a reel that went viral. But because I didn't really know what I was doing, and again, I just made it up as I went along, I went on holiday and I was somewhere where there wasn't any Wi-Fi. Apart from once a day I would check it. And every time I checked there was another thousand followers. And my kids were saying, mum, it's probably just bots. They're probably not real.

And then so they asked, well, I don't know. And then they checked them. They said, no, actually, mom, they're real. They're real people. So yeah, Laura, if I could bottle it, maybe I could become an Instagram tutor instead. But I seem to have just, yeah, I came, it worked, what can I say? Who knows? I'll show you which one it was. It's got nearly a million views.

Laura (49:12.743)
Thank you, Fish. Oh yeah, you'll have to.

Kate (49:17.174)
Nearly a million views. Yeah.

Laura (49:17.611)
It's amazing, isn't it? Crazy times, crazy times. I've got this love and hate relationship with Instagram and I just, at the moment, I'm completely off it because I just, I don't know, I just, I've just lost my Instagram mojo and I think it's just interesting what you've just said there, that you worked incredibly hard to get to the amount of views that you got at 10,000. I mean, I'm not even at 10,000 and I just can't, almost can't be bothered with it at the moment.

But I know also that I do work through it. So it's a real sort of double-edged sword for me, but I'm just having some time off. And I often, throughout the few years that I've been on it, I do take a little bit of time and then I regain a bit of momentum. So it's an interesting one though, but it's just anything that is forcing me to do something to affect the algorithms, just doesn't sit very well with my values really. I don't like being, I don't like that kind of

picture and that influence that Instagram has on us, you know, and also, another thing that I find with Instagram is that sometimes and often actually lately when I go on there, I get this sort of comparison-itis. And even though I know I'm going to get it or I'm aware of it, I still get it, so I've been kind of unfollowing some people, which is fine and I encourage people to do that if they feel that as well, because Instagram can have us thinking that

So many people have got it better than us. And this is not just from my point of view. And I think it's really worth talking about that because so many of us are on Instagram and it is inspirational for some people knocking at what we do, and you helping people, me helping people, that's why I'm on there. But within that, what does that create in us? And I don't know whether, do you ever feel like that? And can you talk a bit about that at all?

Kate (50:51.051)
Yeah.

Kate (51:15.486)
I do feel, I feel a pressure with Instagram. Yeah, I definitely feel a pressure. You know, if I don't post X number of times a week, that's going to impact my following and why do I care about my numbers? Only because that's where I get my clients from. So, you know, I don't care about the ego boost from it, but I get my clients from Instagram and I'm global in terms of being a personal trainer. So 95% of my training is done online.

So it opens up a whole world as long as it's in a good time difference for me. So it's been really good for me on that side. So I've managed to get clients around Europe, the States. Someone messaged me this morning from South Africa and wants to start. So that is brilliant. And also for the retreats that I host, that's another avenue for me. But there is a pressure. And...

And I don't like feeling pressure because I'm perhaps like you, a stage of my life where I can do without it. And so I don't like that side of it. And I think, you know, pressure to sort of come up with another new idea, say something new, say something interesting. Yeah, I do find that hard sometimes. But if I do, sometimes I just think I won't bother.

Laura (52:37.151)
And I just think the picture.

Laura (52:41.583)
Yeah, and I do think that, you know, the impact that must have on, you know, on, I mean, it's a huge thing, you know, it's a huge discussion, but people who are younger than us, who are not as intelligent, maybe, who are like looking on there thinking, Oh my God, you know, everybody's life is so perfect and mine's so awful and everything. I think there's a real danger in, you know, social media. I think it's brilliant for some things. I think there's a real dark side to it and we have to be aware of that. Yeah, so it's interesting, really.

Just talking about Instagram though, in terms of the good side of it, I have got a really great, you know, I've met people, I've met you on there, I have met a lot of very lovely women and people on there, there's a really nice supportive community on there, so that's a really lovely side of it. I do, like you, get work from it, you know, people come from, last time I held a retreat somebody came from America, again, you know, it makes us global because we can reach more people.

And just talking about retreats, I've got my wonderful Marblers Midlife retreat returning actually in June in the south of France, and it's an opportunity to build connections, learn about yourself and your midlife journey and find inspiration in the beautiful French countryside. So that is actually live on my website at www. if you want to find out more about that.

And hey, where can people find you? Where if they want to look at your stuff online and maybe do some classes, pick up some strength training, start this week, where will they find you?

Kate (54:19.046)
You can find me through my website, yourfuturefit.com or on Instagram at yourfuturefit. I'm on LinkedIn, Facebook a little bit, but I just don't have time to do Facebook as well. So the best thing would be through my website, there's contact page on there and a list of the services and that I'm offering, but I arrange chats. Mostly people just message and say,

this is what I'm after, let's have a chat. Because there isn't one size fits all. So if people like the look of me and how I train, but yet the services don't quite fit in with their lifestyle, well, we can flex them and make them work for them. So mostly I arrange a chat and then we take it from there.

Laura (55:10.879)
And that's one good thing, isn't it? A lovely thing about Instagram is people can get a real feel for who, you know, for you or for whoever they are with from your profile. And that makes people actually almost think that they kind of know you and they warm to you or not, maybe is the case, maybe. So it's a really lovely way. So there's loads, you know, you're very inspiring on Instagram and I would encourage everybody to follow you over there. Thank you so much, Kate. It's been really lovely to talk to you again. Thank you so much. I think we spoke about three years ago.

Kate (55:34.151)
Oh, thank you.

Laura (55:40.951)
when I had a little radio show and I wanted to have you back on so I'm really pleased that you came. Anything else you want to say before we go? Oh, absolute pleasure.

Kate (55:46.93)
Oh, thanks so much for inviting me. Well, just thank you. Thank you for inviting me again, Laura. It's always lovely to chat with you. And I hope that anyone listening either is inspired to do the strength training or bring some new habits into their lifestyle, or they're thinking of making a change in midlife and.

they're now thinking, do you know what? Yes, I deserve to jump out of bed in the morning. I deserve to be feeling passionate and joyful. And that's something I think we could all do with a lot more of is more joy in our 50s and beyond. So if anyone's listening and thinking, oh, I don't know, but my mantra is what's the best that can happen? What's the best that can happen?

Laura (56:37.311)
Absolutely. Yeah, exactly. Oh, I love that. And that's just like, yes, totally. You've said it all. You've said a wonderful ending there. And it would be wonderful if you've been inspired by this podcast, if you would subscribe to the podcast, leave us a review if you enjoyed it. And I will be back next time with another marvelous guest on the Marvelous Midlife Podcast. Thank you so much for listening. Bye bye.