The Q&A Files
The Q&A Files drops A Wellness Explosion
💥 BOOM! Attention Wellness Warriors. The game changer you have been waiting for is finally here. Say hello to “The Q&A Files,” where wellness meets revolution and your questions lead to new discoveries. Spearheaded by Trisha Jamison, your host, a Board Certified Functional Nutritionist. Cohost Dr. Jeff Jamison, a Board Certified Family Physician, and featured guest, Tony Overbay, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. This podcast blends three diverse perspectives to tackle your questions on health, nutrition, medicine, mental wellness, and relationships. Dive into a world of expert insights and actionable advice, all sparked by your curiosity. Tune in, ignite your wellness journey, and join the Wellness Warrior community.
The Q&A Files
19. Laughter, Truly the Best Medicine, Insights Into The Science of Comedy
Ever wondered why Tony's showers in Arizona are more like lukewarm baths? Or why Trisha's encounter with a power washer ended in a hilarious mishap? This episode of the Q&A Files kicks off with a fun and engaging discussion on the benefits of cold and hot contrast therapy. Join Tricia, Dr. Jeff, and Tony as they share their personal experiences and the funny challenges they face trying to incorporate this practice into their routines. From the surprising effects of cold showers to Dr. Jeff’s jam-packed day of appointments and house prep, we promise you’ll find both entertainment and insightful health tips.
Next, we peel back the layers of our emotional worlds by delving into the fascinating concepts of primary and secondary emotions from "Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy for Dummies." Did you know that emotions are processed faster in the brain than thoughts? Discover how societal conditioning makes us suppress our true feelings and how humor often masks our vulnerabilities. Through personal anecdotes, including how we use laughter to cover discomfort, we unpack the importance of understanding these emotional layers to foster authenticity and mindfulness in our interactions.
Finally, we celebrate the incredible health benefits of laughter. Learn how a good laugh can manage stress, boost your immune system, and elevate your mood. From the contagious giggles of children to the joys of stand-up comedy and improv, we explore how humor can transform our well-being. Plus, get a kick out of a playful prank involving a fake move to Vermont and prepare to share your favorite two-line jokes in our next episode. This heartwarming and humorous segment underscores the vital role laughter plays in our daily lives.
Questions? Comments? Email us at trishajamisoncoaching@gmail.com!
Hello and welcome to the Q&A file, the ultimate health and wellness playground. I'm your host, tricia Jamieson, a board-certified functional nutritionist and lifestyle practitioner, ready to lead you through a world of health discoveries. Here we dive into a tapestry of disease prevention, to nutrition, exercise, mental health and building strong relationships, all spiced with diverse perspectives. It's not just a podcast, it's a celebration of health, packed with insights and a twist of fun. Welcome aboard the Q&A Files, where your questions ignite our vibrant discussions and lead to a brighter you. Welcome, wellness warriors, to another episode of the Q&A Files. I'm Tricia Jamieson, your host, and I'm here with my two fabulous co-hosts, dr Jeff and Tony Overbay.
Speaker 2:Hey.
Speaker 1:Yay Hi. So today, starting with our usual celebrations, I thought we could kick things off with a little humor. But even before we get there we had kind of talked about the cold, hot, hot, cold contrast therapy and I just wanted to check in with the two of you and see if either one of you have been doing that.
Speaker 2:I have done it when I work out, which has been really helpful before I go to work, to cool off and be ready for that, and it certainly invigorates my day, but otherwise no.
Speaker 1:Invigorates. What movie's that I feel invigorated?
Speaker 2:Oh, that's, zorro.
Speaker 1:Yes, good job.
Speaker 2:Vigorous is what she says. He is very vigorous.
Speaker 1:Yes, that's right. All right, Tony.
Speaker 3:So I have. I've gone back to the throw, my shower handle all the way to cold at the end of the shower, which I hadn't done for a while, but not even trying to do a humorous bit here today. But in Arizona I'm noticing the water doesn't necessarily get very cold. Yeah, so it's not that big of a change.
Speaker 2:You need to come up north. I think so.
Speaker 1:I think it's pretty chilly we live on top of an aquifer and it's pretty cold.
Speaker 3:Yeah, so I think I will not be feeling cold. As a matter of fact, I sat on, I had this little three-wheeled motorcycle thing called a can am and yesterday I had a cancellation and I was going to run and grab a bite to eat and I sat on it and it was only 102 degrees outside but turns out that your, your khaki pants are not enough padding to to shield you from the pain of like a burn from a seat.
Speaker 3:It was very warm a black seat too, probably yes, exactly oh, that just hurts very warm turns out it is hot in arizona that's why we don't live in arizona.
Speaker 1:We like the four seasons.
Speaker 3:It's very nice, so I've been doing a warm plunge, which is better than the hot plunge, I guess.
Speaker 2:The hot, cold yep.
Speaker 1:Well, there you go. Well, excellent, thank you. I will share that. I have continued to do those hot cold showers and they do me a lot of good and I really appreciate them.
Speaker 2:Well, I can attest to it too, because when I get in the shower, it's already set on cold.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:So yeah. So it's like oh, she's been doing the hot, cold thing, no, I'm not doing it right now.
Speaker 1:It is hard sometimes when it's a cold morning, but I always look forward to it now. It just makes me feel so good. So I hope our listeners can take a moment and just try it out, see your thoughts, you know what you think and then let us know if it works for you. I bet it will. So I also wanted to just you know if you guys have any fun thing or something funny that's happened this week I'd like you to share. So I'm going to start.
Speaker 2:Lots of dead air, okay.
Speaker 1:And then you guys keep thinking.
Speaker 2:I'm thinking. You always catches us off guard, I know, and I always make them nervous.
Speaker 1:I love this. You should see them right now, their faces. But so I was trying to attach the hose to the power washer and I did not have the hose tight enough and it completely sprayed me in the face. But what was funny, you know, not only did I end up with more water on me and in my face and where it was supposed to go, but my dog just sat there just watching me and it was just like he was looking up at me, like this is my human, ladies and gentlemen, and just the funny face that he had on just made me smile. All right, that gave you time for the two of you to find something funny.
Speaker 2:Okay, so this morning has been a race for me. And I got up early, took my son to school, then I had a dental appointment for a dental cleaning and of course that went late. And then right afterwards I had scheduled a vision eye doctor appointment, my annual checkup, so I was late to that and they just, they were amazing. They hustled me through and I was out the door in no time. But I just have felt like I've been completely rushed all day today, one thing after another. We're trying to get our house ready to sell, and so we've got people in and out the house all day and I'm trying to get a couple of projects done and I'm just trying to not take myself too seriously because I just am running behind in everything I do today.
Speaker 1:So I'm trying to do today. Well, you're doing amazing, so I'm trying to be funny about it. You're doing amazing. Thank you for all that you're doing. Oh, thanks, yes, it's been crazy.
Speaker 2:You too, honey. You've been working really hard too.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's been. We're a great team, Tony.
Speaker 3:You know it's so funny because I my brain is constantly in joke mode. That's my go-to all the time, and I can't think of anything specifically funny of the last few days. But when I pulled up a document because I think I know where we're going today and I was trying to find some things that could make me sound really smart about the topic of humor today and I'm not going to lie there's an event that I'm reading about on the transcript of a podcast they did about this where and I don't think I've shared this before on here when you've asked for like embarrassing moments, but do you want me to save it for while we're in the heart of the episode today- you may, because let's get to the question.
Speaker 3:Let's do it.
Speaker 1:And it might be a nice segue into what you just shared.
Speaker 3:Okay.
Speaker 1:So, thank you. Let's dive into today's question. This is from Rick, and he asks a very interesting question and he says Tony often refers to humor as his secondary emotion. What does he mean by that? What is his primary emotion and how can someone identify their own primary and secondary emotions? So I think this is an awesome question and I actually have wondered this as well. So let's turn this over to you, Tony.
Speaker 3:Okay. So it's a great question and it's interesting because the whole concept of primary and secondary emotions the place that I get a lot of my and you can find information if you Google this. There's so much out there about primary and secondary emotions, but the place that I found it explained the best was actually from the book Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy for Dummies, which I think is really funny, and I don't know if the dummies books are as big of a thing anymore, but let me quote something from there they did right, and I really don't know if that's a thing or not anymore, but there's some fascinating information about.
Speaker 3:Let me, let me just pull this up, give me one second. Here we go, and this is this is so interesting. So when, when people talk about emotions, they usually oversimplify it and then they throw all the emotions into one box and they keep the lid on. So it's just, you know, it's your emotions, your emotions get in the way to one box and they keep the lid on. So it's just, you know, it's your emotions, your emotions get in the way. Somebody's too emotional, take your emotions out of it, and so for a long time, I think in the field of psychology in general, people emphasize thinking over feeling because emotions would get in the way.
Speaker 3:But then the more that we learn about the brain, I think the field of effective neuroscience kind of gets into the mix and then they point to a really different reality and this changed my view on a lot of things where emotional processing in your brain is actually it's central and it's rapid, and then it actually the emotions set the stage for the thinking. And here's what I want to quote from this book Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy for Dummies, but it says you actually feel before you think. Modern neuroscience has charted the brain's response to situations and found that emotions fire two and a half times more rapidly in the brain than thoughts do, and so they aren't saying that emotions are more important than thoughts, because we really want our feeling and our thinking to team up together and that'll make you so much more aware and prepared to make the best decisions that you can make. But most people tend to overthink and under feel, and we could go on a whole tangent about how we're kind of wire.
Speaker 3:It is right and we're wired to stuff our emotions and and I just really believe in this wholeheartedly that even the best parent is is trying to teach their kid right from wrong, and so when their kid is just reacting to the world as a kid, they're often told hey, calm down or don't do that. We don't say it that way, don't hit your brother, stop crying.
Speaker 3:Yeah, stop crying. It's not a big deal, any of that stuff. So what we learn over time is that our emotions are not welcome. So then I believe that we go as kids, from externalizing our emotions to eventually we internalize them, which is part of the challenge where now we need somebody else to tell us it's okay, where we're looking for that external validation. So we already do a pretty good job of stuffing our emotions. I mean, get me speaking at church and I have such a bad cry face and it's so funny because it just means I'm afraid to cry. Why? Because that emotion of sadness is not manly or whatever I was told when I was young, or the message I've received. And then we're wired to get rid of discomfort. We're doing that constantly. So now if we have an emotion and it is uncomfortable, then we want to get rid of it.
Speaker 3:So enter the world of primary and secondary emotions. So your primary emotion is often your immediate reaction emotions. So your primary emotion is often your immediate reaction. It's your. In the book Buddha's Brain, or I think it's actually in Buddhism, they call it the first dart reaction. So it's the dart that's thrown at you. It's the thing that happens and you have a reaction. So that is your primary emotion. Your secondary emotion is the second dart. It's the one you maybe throw at yourself. They say often, or it's the emotion that you bring in to cover up that primary emotion.
Speaker 3:And I think one of the easiest ways to look at this is when I think of my son often with this, where, when my kids would go through this stage where they're going to scare me, they're going to jump out and say boo, and if you immediately go geez, you guys like knock it off. That's really a secondary emotion of anger, because my primary emotion was embarrassment. I mean, I'm a giant, grown human being. How can this little kid elicit that reaction out of me? So then I come with anger. So one of the challenges and that's why I like to set the table with our emotions travel faster than logic. So it really takes some intentional work, mindfulness, just being present, to be able to sit there for a second and then say, oh man, you guys got me, I'm embarrassed, and then I can lean into that primary emotion and that's where we're just going to be more authentic in the moment.
Speaker 3:The secondary emotions, though, and this is one like anger is often a secondary emotion, because if somebody feels vulnerable, they feel like they don't have control over a situation, then they might go with anger because anger is going to give them control in that moment. So to Rick's question yeah, my humor comes in so often and I will recognize it, I mean a lot. If somebody is starting to get sad or the moment gets awkward, I immediately go to a joke. But then I also feel like I've gone to jokes for so long that I think it's now my primary and secondary emotion and I have to be very intentional to then dig out a different emotion other than just making jokes in my head. So there's my quick primary on primary and secondary emotions.
Speaker 1:Yeah, Okay, so are you saying that your secondary emotion is more of your defense mechanism?
Speaker 3:Yeah, it's a good way to put it with your more intense primary emotion.
Speaker 1:Yeah it really is.
Speaker 3:And it's a great way to put it yeah.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 3:And so primary emotions are going to signal a lot of times what is the most vulnerable or what's the most important thing to you in the moment. And being able to slow down and make sense of the meaning that you're making of something is where the growth really occurs. And this is where that concept of things like differentiation matter, where everything is a me thing. But then when I react, why am I reacting that way? And it might be because I feel unseen, or it might be because I feel like I wasn't considered, or those sorts of things. So that primary emotions they're there for a purpose, because they're trying to send you important information. But if you don't slow down and notice when you're feeling those and a lot of the times it's the softer emotions, like sadness or hurt or fear, then you you know, then at that point then you just immediately go right to that secondary emotion to try to to cover up for it that that being vulnerable, because it's awkward, you know it can be really awkward to be that exposed.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I like that. So your primary emotion, let's kind of go through the list a little bit so that could be sadness, anger, frustration, anxiety, you know what other fear?
Speaker 3:Yeah, that's it. I was so I've got a list that I often look at as a common list of the primary or common primary emotions are sadness, fear, hurt, anger, shame, joy. I mean there are the good ones too joy, excitement, surprise. So those are a lot of the primary. So you can see that there's negative and positive primary emotions.
Speaker 2:I like that. That's really important to emphasize, because they're the first ones that you're going to feel.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and it's important so that when you are in a moment and you feel something like happy joy, that to take that in just as much as when you're trying to allow yourself to feel sad or scared, because again they're trying to send you a message. Positive primary emotions are usually trying to help you expand outward and just kind of create more of a moment. And unfortunately, a lot of times the negative primary emotion make you play small or kind of shrink down when you're hurt or you're sad.
Speaker 1:That's good yeah.
Speaker 3:And sometimes we're programmed in those moments where we do that because that is coming from our childhood and we want somebody to come tell us it's going to be okay versus knowing that we're going to be okay.
Speaker 1:Right. So, jeff, what do you think your primary and secondary emotions are?
Speaker 2:Yeah, Well, primary just is whatever is happening in the moment. So that's, you know, if something, let's just say a person who will remain nameless, that might be in our family, might not be, I don't know.
Speaker 3:No.
Speaker 2:If that person doesn't put their clothes where they're supposed to be or put things away that there's and they have to be, you're not. You're not the one.
Speaker 2:Um, my primary emotion in that is frustration and my secondary emotion, I think, is anger anger yeah yep and and so the you know being having to tell that person so many times the same thing and still getting no better or no different result. My primary emotion is frustration, and I guess there's a certain feeling of disrespect that also is in that, and then, after that, anger. So those are things that happen in that situation. But there are lots of times when a person will say something and I'll think of a funny response which kind of gets labeled a dad joke, and I like to play with those all day long and so those just you know, somebody says something that rhymes with something else and I'll throw it out there and I get the eye rolls and the you know, oh, that was bad, and the dad joke stuff, but it's still fun.
Speaker 1:I have to say it's amazing how all of your brains work the same yeah. Because you all yes, it just is. I mean even Brayden, our youngest son. He's really into the dad jokes and he's quite funny actually. So it's been fun to kind of have him, you know, be part of that whole role playing.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's been fun, and he's also really good at movie quotes that are funny. Oh, that's right. We like to do that.
Speaker 3:Yeah, that are funny, we like to do that. Yeah, hey, can I? Can I? And I don't know if I, if I made this clear enough, but the there's a there's a big distinction to when you're looking at anger as a primary or a secondary emotion, because I think the big difference is the way it's expressed.
Speaker 3:So when anger is, is a primary emotion, you know, a lot of times it's there, it's it's, it can be healthy, it can be there to tell you all right, I'm being used, I'm being violated, I'm being abused.
Speaker 3:I mean that's when it's most often primary. You know, when you're intruded on or somebody breaks your boundary, and so then that primary emotion is there to kind of help. You see that something unjust maybe has happened. But then when that anger is secondary, then it more has a destructive effect on a relationship because it doesn't, it doesn't protect you or it doesn't move you closer to your partner. You know, in that scenario it's more of meant to attack or hurt somebody, even if it's, even if it's subconscious, if it's passive, aggressive, but so so I think that's the big distinction too. So that primary anger explains almost like this being wronged and that wasn't deserved, and that can often lead to somebody sharing something that happened, that was painful, but then that secondary emotion of anger is typically more of that control. So I think because sometimes people are like, oh, I don't want to be angry, and so they avoid any kind of conversation or they stay away from that emotion altogether, and I can understand that, because we're afraid that we'll lose our mind or that sort of thing.
Speaker 2:Well, now my primary emotion of hearing that is that since I was having a secondary emotion with a person, then I feel kind of embarrassed as a primary emotion.
Speaker 3:And there I go covering up with some humor, exactly, yeah, and I will join you there. Yes.
Speaker 1:That's what I mean. You guys are two peas in a pod. This is basically about self-awareness and reflection, right? So you're paying attention to your immediate reactions in various situations. Is that kind of what you're kind of talking? About you're trying to identify what you're feeling first, before any secondary reactions come into play. Is that that's what you're hoping?
Speaker 3:yeah, it's a great way to put it yeah, yeah, healthy, because you're just living, you're, and I think that is when someone we make the joke about, they become a bit more zen and they're just so present in the moment. That, and I really this, this is something that people can get to where, oh, I'm noticing, you know, I'm noticing that I'm getting a little bit angry right now. That's fascinating, you know why am I getting angry? And you're able to just have that pause built in. And and I think that's so helpful, because when we can sit with that discomfort and not try to get rid of the emotion, not try to get rid of the feeling, then that's where the feeling is going to tell us something, and I think that's initially what we, our bodies, were designed to do. But then, when we spend our life stuffing our feelings or feeling like we can't express ourselves, then eventually our feelings say, okay, I'll just come out every now and again when I get my chance.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I think probably a great way to really focus on this is to keep a journal, because that can be very helpful in helping you recognize how you're feeling and going through that process and, I think you know, writing down your experiences and your emotions daily. Over time these patterns will start to emerge and you can start to really recognize when they're coming up, if even like it's a trigger, what you're kind of talking about a little bit.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 1:But I really also appreciate how you're talking about, how sometimes we bypass the joy, the feeling of you know, the positive pieces, and I think sometimes you know even for, like me, I think a lot of times I look at the more of the positive pieces, and so just what you're talking about with the anger, I struggle to be angry, that's not. You know, I had to actually cry before I'm angry, but, and I used to think, well, that's my anger is tears, but I, you know, I I think that sometimes, just like you talked about, is I'm so afraid to go into that anger space and what does that even look like, or what does that mean? I had a, you know, I grew up with a lot of anger with a dad, and so I think it's terrified me, uh, and when I see people get angry, oftentimes I blame me for that anger. And what did I, what part did I play to create that in this person? And so that's just how I grew up with a alcoholic father, and I was always the recipient of you know something.
Speaker 1:So you know it was the way to put that blame on myself, but I just want our listeners to recognize, you know, when you start to see some of these different patterns, take a look at them pay attention to them, feel into them and recognize that every person is different. Every person has a story, how they've grown up, and that's the great part about interacting with one another, but it's also about having that grace and compassion for one another as well.
Speaker 2:That's really well said. One of the things that I like to point out on this situation, too, is if you're married to a person who accepts all the blame, then it's really easy to place all the blame on them, and that can be a really bad situation for, and set you up for, narcissistic behavior, and so that's a really important thing to recognize that if you recognize in yourself that you're such a peacemaker that you allow others to walk on you and don't respect your own boundaries and you're just allowing things to happen to yourself, then pretty soon others will respond and buy right into that, and pretty soon you're going to have no problem accepting all the problems that are going on around you and everyone else will feel better because you're doing it.
Speaker 2:The fact is, yeah, that is not it's not a healthy situation and it's something that if you could recognize that in yourself, or if you're the person, like I have been in my past, where you because Tricia has been such a great acceptor of blame, I've been happy to give her that blame for whatever the situation may be.
Speaker 3:And I didn't even.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I did not, and I didn't even recognize for a long time in our marriage that I was doing that. And so to recognize that now and to be able to go oh, you're just taking the blame for something that's not yours, that's mine, please stop doing that. And to be able to recognize that and call each other out on it, it's been really, really healthy.
Speaker 1:Yeah, definitely Awesome. Thank you so much. So I kind of want to get into. Let's talk about humor and how it can help us be healthier. So, according to the Mayo Clinic, laughter has some amazing benefits. So let's talk about stress relief from laughter. And, believe it or not, it's no joke. So when it comes to relieving stress, more giggles and guffaws are just what the doctor ordered, and here's why. So here's the short-term benefits.
Speaker 1:A good laugh has great short-term effects. I mean, think about when. I love when you have even like a baby baby, when they have that just belly laugh, you just immediately start smiling because it's just so infectious. I love when a baby or a child laughs. But when you start to laugh, it doesn't just lighten your load mentally, it actually induces physical changes in your body. Laughter can stimulate many organs. Laughter enhances your intake of oxygen-rich air, which stimulates your heart, your lungs and your muscles and increases the endorphins released by your brain, activate and relieve your stress response. A rollicking laugh fires up and then cools down your stress response and it can increase and then decrease your heart rate and blood pressure. The result a good, relaxed feeling, and we all have had that. It's like you just had a great workout after a great episode of laughing lap, laughing laughter. That's one of my, I think, secondary emotions is I like to. It's called what's it called? Coupling? No, spoonerism. Spoonerism, that's right. You know, a cup or spoon, you know see, I like to put those things together.
Speaker 1:Oh, that's when you put something I didn't know that I just learned something new right there. Yes, spoonerism yes.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's. That's basically when you switch around. Yeah, and I'm so good at that. Oh, she's super great.
Speaker 1:You know, it's very great.
Speaker 2:But it makes us laugh, so it's a helpful thing.
Speaker 1:Yes, and I love to make up words. It's really fun. So laughter can also stimulate circulation and aid muscle relaxation, both of which can help reduce some of the physical symptoms of stress. Now the long-term effects. Laughter isn't just a quick pick-me-up, it's also good for you over the long-term.
Speaker 1:Laughter may improve your immune system. Negative thoughts manifest into chemical reactions that can affect your body by bringing up more stress into your system and decreasing your immunity. By contrast, positive thoughts can release neuropeptides that help fight stress and potentially more serious illnesses. So to relieve pain, laughter may ease pain by causing the body to produce its own natural painkillers. Isn't that amazing. We have our own natural painkillers inside. Just by laughing, increased personal satisfaction. Laughter can also make it easier to cope with difficult situations, just like what you're talking about, tony. If you're uncomfortable or embarrassed, that comes up for you quickly and it helps you connect with other people. Same with you, jeff. It improves your mood. Many people experience depression, sometimes due to chronic illnesses. Laughter can help lessen your stress, depression and anxiety and may make you feel happier. It definitely does that for me. So it can also help improve your self-esteem.
Speaker 1:So do you want to improve your sense of humor? Are you afraid that you have an underdeveloped or non-existent sense of humor? No problem. Have an underdeveloped or non-existent sense of humor, no problem. Humor can be learned. Here are a few tips. Put humor on your horizon.
Speaker 1:Find a few simple items that make you chuckle and keep them handy. I have a couple of pictures that I bring up on my phone when I'm having a sad day that just literally make me laugh so hard, and they're two of them, of my daughters, and they're so, so funny. But keep funny movies. We have funny movies that we, you know, we'll watch several times a year, and it just that's where our quotes come from and we use them all the time on each other and it just makes things light and super fun. So TV shows, books, magazines or comedy videos on hand for when you need a humor boost. So laugh, and the world laughs with you. Find a way to laugh about your own situations, like being sprayed in the face with water, and watch your stress begin to fade away, even if it feels forced at first. Practice laughing. It does your body good. So share a laugh. Spend time with friends who make you laugh and share funny stories or jokes, and I love pranking people. I'm the best prankster.
Speaker 2:Oh my gosh, she's the master.
Speaker 3:I can picture that. I'm not kidding. It is like what kind of stuff? What do you do?
Speaker 2:Okay, so go ahead and tell them the it is so intricate, yeah, it's so good like so.
Speaker 1:one time, just real quick, I was in a course and I had told our daughter well, actually this started from Jeff, but I had posted on Facebook that we were moving to Vermont and I have a daughter. Her friend called Capri and she said oh my gosh, I heard that your family's moving to Vermont and so she's like what? I don't know what you're talking about. So she called me Capri.
Speaker 2:Who called Capri? Capri called me.
Speaker 1:And she said mom, I just got a message from her friend and she said you guys are moving to Vermont, what's going on? Why did you post that? And I said she said you guys are moving to Vermont, what's going on, why did you post that? And I said well, capri, you know that course that I've been taking. And she's like yeah, and I said, well, I, I got into this, this um the advanced class.
Speaker 1:And she's like so what does that have to do with Vermont? And I said, well, that's where it's at and I have to go to Vermont in order with Vermont. And I said, well, that's where it's at and I have to go to Vermont in order to take this course. And it's a year long course. And she's just like what? And so she was preparing to go on a mission. She goes, well, who's going to help me? And I said, well, you know what, we'll make it work. We'll do a lot of FaceTiming. We'll make sure that we have people there to walk you through the things that you need to do. And she's like mom, well, I'm really happy for you.
Speaker 1:But I mean she was trying so hard to not be emotional and she's like I can't believe this is real. I said it's not, she goes, I can't believe this is happening. I said it's not, she's like I don't even know what I'm going to do. And I mean it's not, she's like I don't even know what I'm going to do. And I mean she's just saying all these things and I just kept saying something and then finally she said what did you say? And I said, um, I'm, this isn't real, or something like that. And she just said you suck.
Speaker 3:I can't sit with that discomfort, Tricia, Like as you're saying that it's like makes me uncomfortable to hear you tell that story. That's kind of funny.
Speaker 2:I can't even stand it yeah.
Speaker 1:That is one of. I see I'm like the worst liar and the best liar on the planet. I can keep a straight face like no other and everyone is dying around me and I can hold that face and they totally believe me. And the funny thing is, one time well, I won't go into this right now, but there was another one that involved her whole family. It was a pretty big deal and my kids give me still a hard time. They haven't gotten over it yet, but I hope they do one day. There's a lot of therapy out there and I hope they can take advantage of that. But oh my gosh, I love pranking. It is the best, it is so fun.
Speaker 2:Yes, I love pranking, it is the best, it is so fun. Yes, yeah, and if she gets a question at church or in public somewhere oh, how's this working? She will just go with it to the nth degree and it'd be a complete lie, until she just can't stand anymore and she'll say no, actually, this isn't true.
Speaker 1:And they're like are you kidding me? You totally got me. Yeah, it is the best. I love it so much anyway, I can't I?
Speaker 2:can't so. Tony, what's your, what's your favorite go-to uh humor place? Do you like movies? Do you like going to comedy clubs? Do you just okay? So yeah, what do you do?
Speaker 3:I'm a I'm a I I'm a standup comedy guy. I really enjoy any of my social media feeds If you're whatever the reels or the the, whatever you know the things that are coming up constantly or standup comedians, and I do. I think that stuff is so funny and and then I love this is a silly one, but America's funniest home videos. I could watch that stuff all day long, love those, I just. And that's where I feel like pure is the driven snow humor. You know, it's just I could just watch them and I just laugh, I, and it's just.
Speaker 1:That's that's funny to me so why do you think it's funny to watch other people get? You know, get hurt or they're in pain why I don't, I don't, I don't.
Speaker 2:I think it's the discomfort I mean mean because you can relate. It's like I'm so glad that's not me, Ha, ha.
Speaker 1:Yeah, sometimes I think I hope they did not just you know really get hurt or yeah, but yeah, yeah. They're laughing at him.
Speaker 3:Well, it's funny. You mentioned that because the America's Funniest Home Videos I'm in and every now and again I'll pull up something about. You know the concept of fails on YouTube and then and those I they're funny, but sometimes they they're a little too much for me. So there is like a line that is crossed or that I do feel like something went wrong. But I do, I enjoy it. It's interesting Cause I I love movies, but I don't typically enjoy comedies because I don't think they're as funny as I would like for them to be. So yeah, I don't because I want to be amused constantly. I don't want any downtime from it.
Speaker 2:So one of my favorites is Whose Line Is it Anyway?
Speaker 3:Yes, that's funny.
Speaker 2:Okay, they have those available, you know?
Speaker 3:ongoing right now yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:And they are so funny and the guys that do that improv stuff are just out of this world, amazingly talented.
Speaker 3:Now, have you guys ever done improv? Have you ever done anything like improv?
Speaker 2:No, I've never done it myself, but I love watching it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'd much rather watch it, but I think this brings up a very important part of this discussion today, and that's know what isn't funny. So I think it's important to not laugh at the expense of others, and some forms of humor aren't appropriate, and I think that sometimes we I think a lot of people cross that line, but I think it's important to know where that line is.
Speaker 3:Hey, can I, can I tell you I get out the violin sad story then. So this is the one where, yeah, I know I love humor and I think I'm I can, be fairly quick witted, but I know at my core I will never make fun of someone's appearance, because I was and I might've mentioned this on a on a previous episode, but I was bald at 19. And so I was so self-conscious by it.
Speaker 3:It was horrible. And so then, when people would tease me about it, it just I just disliked it so much. So I will use humor constantly, but I won't ever make fun of someone's appearance, yeah, yeah. And so every now and again someone will tell me about oh well, you made fun of this or that. And that's one of those where I know that I didn't, because I just I can't make fun of someone's appearance because it just goes against everything that I think. So that's where I feel like it gets up, but yet I can handle it. Now I'm fine with an appearance joke, but I just I cannot deliver one because I worry. I remember you know young, 20 something, Tony, looking like he was in his late fifties and not enjoying all the humor around it.
Speaker 2:That was hard yeah.
Speaker 1:Well, that's good, though that's good when we have sensitive situations and then we have much more compassion for other people. I think that that's you got to have. That that makes you more human. Yes, yeah.
Speaker 1:Like that. Okay, so go ahead and give it a try. Turn the corners of your mouth up into a smile and then give a laugh, of your mouth up into a smile and then give a laugh, even if it feels a little forced. Once you've had your chuckle, take stock of how you're feeling. Are your muscles less tense? Do you feel more relaxed or buoyant? That's the natural wondering of laughing. So that's all for today's episode. We want to thank Rick Wait, tricia, tricia. Yes.
Speaker 3:Look at me. I'm jumping in here because I think when we teased this episode before and I told you I have some of my favorite two-line jokes ever- oh go, and I did not.
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 3:I have them, I have them, oh we got to do it.
Speaker 3:Are you ready? Yes, okay, I'll give you three. Or saying laughter, okay, probably my favorite two-line joke. And the Lord said unto John, come forth and you will receive eternal life. But John came fifth and won a toaster. That's good, that's good, thank you. Thank you, dr Jeff. Okay, okay, I've got a couple more. Got a couple more, let's take. Okay, there's okay, I know, and that's. It's really interesting. When I was looking at notes from a, an episode I did a while ago, I I admitted that I can't remember. I just am not good at remembering jokes. Okay, I know that I have at least two more and three more. Three more. Here we go. Okay, just say no to drugs. Well, if I'm talking to my drugs, I probably already said yes, that one makes me laugh every time. Oh, that one wrote thank you, okay, and then, and then, all right, two more. I have a stepladder because my real ladder left when I was a kid.
Speaker 3:Right, Okay, and last but not least, my friend gave me his EpiPen as he was dying. It seemed very important to him that I have it. Oh that's sad.
Speaker 2:That's really sad.
Speaker 3:Oh, my goodness my goodness, hey, those make you laugh those are good, those are funny, all right I feel much better.
Speaker 2:I like, I like to quote the monty python, just about anything that it ain't the whole movie and he's so good at it too. He's amazing yeah, those are, those are fun, those are fun so well.
Speaker 1:That's all for today's episode. We want to thank Rick for his question, and we really appreciate Tony and Dr Jeff for being here as well. I love their insight and input and all the great information that they shared with us today. Next week we're going to talk about teens and screens, so be prepared for a wealth of information that may come your way, and we'd love to have any insights that you would like to share as well. So thanks for tuning in. Wellness warriors. Stay well, keep laughing and keep asking those great questions. So until next time, can't wait to see you have a great day everybody Bye.
Speaker 1:Thanks for tuning into the Q Q&A Files, Delighted to share today's gems of wisdom with you. Your questions light up our show, fueling the engaging dialogues that make our community extra special. Keep sending your questions to trishajamesoncoaching at gmailcom. Your curiosity is our compass. Please hit subscribe, spread the word and let's grow the circle of insight and community together. I'm Trisha Jameson, signing off. Stay curious, keep thriving and keep smiling, and I'll catch you on the next episode.
