Ep 12. Getting Your Family to Support Your Career Change

Transitioning to a new career can be challenging, especially when it involves moving from a long-established role in teaching to the dynamic and fast-growing  field of technology. Having the backing of your loved ones can make a significant difference. In this podcast episode, I delve into a firsthand account of my experience unpacking the emotional and practical elements that come into play when embarking on a career pivot with your family by your side. I share five key strategies I learned for winning my family's support during my career transition. The goal is to strike that delicate balance between personal growth and family life, ensuring those you love are part of the conversation every step of the way. 

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Transcript

Zee: 0:00

Hello, teacher friends, Coach Zee, here and today we're diving into a topic that's crucial for many career changers out there getting your family on board with your career transition. Whether you're switching industries, starting your own business or pursuing further education, having the support of your spouse or partner and kids can make all the difference. So today we'll explore five effective ways to get them on board. Stay tuned.

Narrator: 0:35

Welcome to the UX Teacher Prep Podcast, the ultimate destination for educators. Five effective ways to get them on board. Stay tuned through every twist and turn as you make your career transition into tech. If you're ready for a more satisfying career and lifestyle and you want the balance to unleash your creativity, this podcast is for you. Now for the show.

Zee: 1:02

In 2022, when I finally decided to make real moves toward finding a job outside of teaching. It was hard to get my family on board. I was in my 15th year of teaching. I had been a teacher, a lead teacher, a dean, a coach, an ambassador, bringing new teachers into the field, and I was basically the face of the New York City Teaching Fellows. New teachers would see me in PDs and literally walk up to me like, wait, aren't you that girl I saw on the subway ad? Or I saw you in my teacher training guide. Embarrassing, but seriously, it happened to me so many times, so it's no surprise that when I told my husband that that was going to be my last year of teaching, he looked at me like I was crazy In his eyes. I had a stable job, good benefits and, yeah, I came home stressed and tired, but who doesn't right? Even with all the stories I tell him about the drama in the school buildings, he expected me to keep calm and teach on, and I can't blame him. When he met me, I had just started my teaching career and that's all he had ever seen me doing. Same for my kids.

Zee: 2:07

I have four kids and when I started teaching, my oldest was about one year old. All they knew was that their mom was a teacher and that would be it Forever. But my transition shocked them, and a lot of people in my family were shocked as well. See, my culture is Caribbean. Now, one thing about Caribbean families is that they want you to have career stability, and there's just a few careers that they want you to get into it's teaching, nursing law. Those are the main ones, and so the focus is on bringing money into the household and having that career stability, even if it means having two, three, four different jobs at the same time. That's the focus. So it's that old school mentality that work is supposed to be hard, you're supposed to pound the pavement and work-life balance is non-existent. So, as you can imagine, the thing that was top of mind for my husband was how will we pay the bills and what about health insurance? For my kids, it was what is UX and how can you just change careers after 15 years? Isn't that what you went to college for? You went to college to be a teacher. Is that even a thing? Kids like consistency too, but at the end of the day, I had made the decision that was best for my health and my future career goals, and I had to get them on board.

Zee: 3:19

So for a while I would say a few months nobody really took me seriously Not my husband, not my family members, not my kids. They were doubtful, they weren't sure that I was actually making that transition and because I used to talk about it a lot and say, this is it? This is my last year teaching they basically treated it like the boy who cried wolf. So, as I said, when it was time for me to really make that transition, I had to convince myself and then I had to get my family on board and, honestly, the first thing I did was pray, because that's what I do when I don't know where else to turn. So I did a lot of prayer and meditation and just really thinking about how I was going to get them on board and what I was going to do to make sure that the transition was as smooth as it could be, because I knew it was going to be a bumpy road.

Zee: 4:07

I'm going to give you five different strategies that you can use to help to get your family on board, and these are things that I learned along the way. So the first one is communication. Communication is so important. You need to start by having an open conversation with your family about your career goals and why this transition is so important to you. And when I say family, it doesn't have to be your entire family lined up in a room or on a Zoom call to have this conversation. I mean, it's your decision and it's really a personal thing. But when I say family, I'm really talking about your immediate family, those who live with you and those who are going to be immediately affected, and directly affected by your decision. So explain to them the potential benefits for the family right as a whole. Like, the family might be able to travel more. The family might be able to do things that they weren't able to do before. You may have a pay increase, which is one of the reasons why a lot of teachers do transition, because the pay for teachers is not great. Also, you may have more energy to do things that you couldn't do before, like cooking at home, preparing meals for your family.

Zee: 5:06

Right, it's so important to approach this with an open mind. I want you to think about having them share their thoughts and feelings, maybe share some of their reservations that they may have about this transition, and make sure you listen to their perspective Because, like I said earlier, you know your spouse, your significant other or your partner might have some reservations about the whole transition and maybe you haven't thought about those things, and this would be a perfect opportunity for you to plan ahead for those things that the other person might be feeling. And the same thing with your children, right? They may have some questions that are unanswered in their minds, and a lot of times you'll be able to answer those questions that children have and that will relieve some of the anxiety or the nervousness that they have, because, remember, there's that fear of the unknown, the same way that you're afraid of some things that might happen and you're not sure what's going to happen on the other side of the classroom. You know, you're not sure if the grass is really going to be greener on the other side. You're not sure what you should do. You're weighing the pros and cons, right, and so, in the same way, your children might also be unsure of what the next step is going to be. And also, I want to add that for teachers, your students may be unsure of what's going to happen when you leave the classroom. So we'll get to the students in a moment.

Zee: 6:17

So number two is involving your family members in that decision-making process. Make your family feel like they're part of the journey. By involving them in the decision process related to your career transition, you could brainstorm ideas together, discuss potential challenges and get their input on important decisions, and by involving them, you're showing them that their opinions actually do matter and you're fostering that sense of ownership in the transition. I used to talk to my husband about UX and explain the different avenues I could take and ask him which role he could see me in based on my skills and strengths, and so it's important to let them in on the process so that they feel like they're going along the journey with you. Remember that, even if you're not intentionally doing this just to make life better for your family, in some way life is going to get better for your family because teaching is so stressful.

Zee: 7:04

Now the third thing is to set realistic expectations. So it's important for you to manage expectations during your career transition and be transparent about the potential challenges and uncertainties that may come up and discuss how that transition might impact your family's routine, their finances, their lifestyle. Don't pretend that everything is going to be golden If you think that there's going to be a setback in your ability to contribute to a bill. Let your partner know. If you think that you know something is going to change with the way that you guys have things set up right now. It's important for you to have that discussion ahead of time so you can plan for the future. Maybe you have things set up right now where one of you takes the kids to school or picks the kids up, or one of you does something on a certain day of the week and the other does something else that might change in the future, and so those are things that you have to sit down and discuss so that your partner can have clear expectations for what is going to come. Setting realistic expectations from the beginning helps to alleviate the anxiety and prevent misunderstandings down the road. And, on that note, if you need to start saving up money ahead of time to fill any unemployment gaps, you need to let your partner know that that's the plan.

Zee: 8:12

Don't leave them in the dark. I remember when I was really serious about transitioning and I started to save up some money on the side, as much as I could, because I didn't know what the future would bring. I didn't know how many final checks I was going to get from the Department of Education. I didn't know exactly how the transition was going to go, and so I had to make sure to start cutting back on certain things that I was spending money, on, certain luxuries that I didn't have to spend money on, so that I could save. Because you really don't know what's going to happen in the future and you want to make sure that you have some kind of cushion to be able to do what you have to do while you're transitioning to your next role, because the truth is that the bills will remain the same if you don't make any changes and you're going to still have to buy groceries and do all the things you had to do before. If a situation arises where you leave your teaching role let's say it's the end of the school year and you don't find something in the meantime, and let's say you have two months where you're not working you need to be able to still pay the bills and take care of everything you have to take care of.

Zee: 9:09

Planning and preparation are key, and that's why I always say you have to have an exit strategy and you have to have a roadmap. I know a lot of times on social media, you see people saying I broke into tech, I'm no longer a teacher, I transitioned in X amount of months, including myself, because I transitioned in five months. But the truth of the matter is you have to have a plan, you have to save money, you have to get all your ducks in a row in order to make that transition, and so the goal is not to just snap your fingers and transition out of teaching, but you do have to plan. Not every teacher has the luxury of having a spouse to take care of the bills while they look for another job, or family members to help them out financially while they look for another job. So it's important to make sure that you set yourself up for success while you're transitioning, like I said before, just in case you have that gap in employment.

Zee: 10:01

Okay, we're on number four. Number four is to lead by example. So I want you to show your family that you're committed to making this career transition a success by leading by example, and this means demonstrating that you're resilient, you're adaptable and you have a positive attitude even in the face of the challenges that are going to be ahead of you, even when things get hard and they might don't show signs of giving up because they might just try to convince you to go back to what's familiar. I want you to be proactive in seeking out opportunities for growing and learning and celebrating those milestones along the way. Your family is going to be inspired by your dedication and determination to finish what you started. So keep showing up, keep moving towards that transition, because if you stop and then you decide a few months later you want to start transitioning again, or you decide the next school year you want to try that again, they're less likely to believe that you're actually going to commit to that transition.

Zee: 10:55

Now, this last one, number five, is hard, and that is to prioritize work-life balance. As you navigate your career transition, it's important to prioritize your work-life balance and make time for your family, no matter what, even if you have to put it on the calendar. I want you to set boundaries between your work time and your family time and make an effort to be present and engaged when you're with your family. Now, this is going to be hard, because when you've got your blinders on and you just want to grind out and make it to the finish line to prove to them and yourself that you can do this. It's going to be hard to put aside that time, but you need to show your family that they're a priority. This is going to help you strengthen your bond and foster a supportive environment for your career transition, because the last thing you want to do is be transitioning careers while having a hostile environment at home. You need as much support as you can get at home, because your home is supposed to be your safe space. When you leave school for the day and you leave all the admin and all the students and all the drama and all the lesson planning and all the grading and all the headaches and all the stress, you have to come home to a safe space.

Zee: 12:01

So my recommendation here would be to set aside a specific day of the week, maybe Sunday, where you dedicate that time to your family and let them know that that's going to be the family day. That's going to be the time that we spend time together, because I do have to do certain things to prepare for my career transition, but I want to make sure that we still have time together. So it's all a matter of having that open communication and carving out that time to spend with your family. And if you're in a situation where you're trying to bang something out and you're trying to get something done and you have children who are tugging on your feet, who are trying to get your attention, it's okay to close your laptop. It's okay to stop what you're doing and say you know what? This is going to be my family time. I'm going to shift some things around and spend 10, 15 minutes with my family and then go back to what I was doing before, to what I was doing before, because at the end of the day, your family members will start to resent you if you don't give them that family time. So it's really a tough thing to juggle, but you have to make sure that you prioritize your family because you don't want them to resent you later on.

Zee: 13:02

One thing that helped me get through that phase was to keep reminding myself and my family members that it was only temporary, it was only for a short time and that eventually we would be able to spend more time together. But I was just going through a phase where I had to get certain things done to transition out of teaching. Let's talk about kids for a minute. Like I said, I have four kids one in college, one in high school, one in middle school and one in elementary school. So, as you can imagine, they all had different perspectives and questions about me changing careers. Except my toddler, of course she didn't know what was going on really. But the older ones, all their lives I had been a teacher. So they had a lot of questions about why and why now. But at the same time they were smart enough to know from being in the school system that teachers have been going through a lot.

Zee: 13:52

So my advice is to just be open with them and allow them to ask those questions. They're going to want to know how your transition is going to affect them first of all. So talk about what might change in their world, both for the short term and the long term. Tell them that you may be on your computer a little bit more than usual. You're looking for a new job. You have to do things on the computer like work on your resume, maybe do some interviews and things like that, so that when they see you doing these things they understand what is happening. Reassure them that you have their best interest in mind. One thing about kids is that they're pretty open to different opinions and they also love giving advice, especially the middle schoolers and high schoolers. Let them help you practice for interviews and plan your next steps.

Zee: 14:33

I think it's great to teach kids that it's okay to change your mind in life and your career path. There's something liberating about knowing you don't have to have it all figured out, even as an adult, and that's the same thing for your students. It's good for your students to know that you don't have to have it all figured out. People change their minds, they change paths in lives, and that's okay. Now I know what you might be thinking, zee. What if none of that works? What if my family is just not on board? They want me to stay in the classroom. They want me to keep that job stability and stay in that union and just keep doing it until I can get to my pension. Well, if none of that works, try to get a close friend or a community of other transitioning teachers to support you throughout this process. In the end, when you finally sign that offer letter, your family is going to be right there celebrating with you.

Zee: 15:19

So let's recap the five ways you can get your family on board for your career transition. One is to communicate openly. Two is to involve them in the process. Three is to set realistic expectations around what your life might be like temporarily. Four is to lead by example and stay committed to your goal. And five is to try as much as you can to prioritize work-life balance, as always. If you're looking for more tips and support as you change careers, visit uxteacherprepcom for free resources and more Talk soon to help you on your tech transition journey.

Narrator: 16:00

head over to uxteacherprepcom. Follow us on LinkedIn and Instagram at uxteacherprep for daily tips and motivation. Have a topic you'd like to hear addressed on the show? Send us a DM on Instagram. If you're listening on YouTube, like, subscribe and share. Until next time, be well.