[00:08] Oftentimes, people find themselves comparing themselves either to their neighbors, coworkers, friends, relatives, or even siblings.
[00:18] You are born in the same family.
[00:20] You are different from your brother and your sister.
[00:23] And that is pretty common.
[00:24] But why do we compare ourselves to others?
[00:28] So, the number one thing that happens when people compare themselves is that it's actually very dangerous.
[00:35] It's dangerous for us to compare ourselves to others because we are usually trying to be someone whom we are not.
[00:43] For example, I always wanted to be Oprah Winfrey.
[00:46] So whenever I would turn on the TV and see her show, I'm like, "Wow, she's so awesome. She's so cool."
[00:52] And I started making my hair curly and I started talking like her, and I did all these crazy things, but I figured I'm not her and if I'm not her, I cannot be Oprah.
[01:03] Yeah, I can learn certain things about Oprah, bring them into my life, practice them.
[01:09] But I still have to be my own being and my own authentic self.
[01:14] So the first thing you want to do is not compare yourself to others and just bring that awareness that if I'm comparing myself to my sibling, or my sister, or whoever—your coworker, anyone—you want to first bring that awareness that I'm not going to compare myself to others.
[01:37] Number two, you want to not be someone whom you're not because trying to be someone is a sure way of being nobody at all.
[01:47] So when you're doing that thing, whether it's curling up your hair or doing those nails just because she does it and she looks awesome, let me try it too.
[01:56] You don't want to imitate and copy others because you will lose your sense of self.
[02:02] The reason you want to be that one person, that one person—now I quoted Oprah already—is because she focused on her skills and you want to focus on your skills.
[02:13] Ask yourself, what am I really good at and start writing those things down, whether you're good in crafts or whether you're good in acting or you're good in dancing or you're good in yoga, whatever your skills are, you want to write them down and then you want to ask yourself, where am I in my life right now?
[02:31] Am I really doing these awesome things that I always have been doing or I always love doing this, but I'm doing something else.
[02:40] For example, you're working at an accounting firm, but you actually love doodling.
[02:46] Okay.
[02:47] This is an example of one of my clients.
[02:49] She works at an accounting firm but she loves doodling, but she does not find time to doodle, but she knows every time she doodles, she feels awesome.
[02:58] She, whenever she is drawing, she feels great, but she doesn't find the time to do it.
[03:02] So if you are that one person who is always fantasizing about doing the things you love, but you're doing something else, you are comparing your life to other people's lives who are going to have a lot of fun and you will always feel bad whenever you are on social media, finding other people having fun and they got a lot of likes and they got a lot of comments and these are all vanity metrics.
[03:30] Anyway, vanity metrics, vanity metrics is basically when you are on social media—Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn—and someone got a lot of likes and a lot of comments.
[03:41] But actually, they could suck at what they're doing in real life.
[03:46] We think they are having an amazing life because we're living in an illusory world.
[03:51] We think just because this person has so many likes and a lot of people are loving them and they're always showing off their new boat and they're always showing off where they're flying first class, wherever they're going, we always feel they're very happy, but that's not true.
[04:05] Maybe they are also trying to be someone else.
[04:08] But the point here I'm trying to make is if you feel jealous or you feel a little bit envious within you or you feel bad just because you're not that person or just because he or she has that but you don't have
it.
[04:23] What's stopping you? Ask yourself what's stopping you and get to work.
[04:27] So going back to what I was saying is find out what you love to do and when you find out what you love to do, for example, doodling, if you love doodling, you got to spend more time on the doodling and find time in your daily schedule and I'll be making more on time in my next video.
[04:47] So make sure you stay tuned, find time to do the things you want to do so that your mind is not going and comparing in all different directions.
[04:57] Whenever you are wasting your time on social media, your time will be more focused on your skill set.
[05:06] And if your skill set is to craft, go ahead and hone your skills.
[05:10] Number three, you want to focus on how unique you are.
[05:14] Uniqueness is something that is very individual to everybody.
[05:18] We are in a world with 8 billion people.
[05:21] 8 billion—did I say million? Sorry.
[05:23] 8 billion people.
[05:24] Hey, I'm very bad with math.
[05:26] Okay.
[05:26] So anyway, we are in a world with 8 billion people and in the 8 billion people.
[05:33] If you came up in this universe and you are trying to be unique, you want to really emphasize that one skill or the two skills that are unique about you.
[05:44] So ask yourself what is unique about you.
[05:47] For me, the only thing that was unique when I was a kid is when someone else told me, which is my own teacher telling me, wow, you're so good in yoga.
[05:55] No one else told me that before.
[05:57] So I held on to that unique skill set and I made it into my passion.
[06:02] And from there I developed and I focused on, wow, I love doing this.
[06:06] But then as I was doing yoga, I figured I love coaching people and I went into coaching and then I figured out, wow, I love counseling and then I started counseling.
[06:14] So I figured my skills along the way, you got to figure out your skills along the way too by honing your uniqueness.
[06:23] And also, to tell you about the uniqueness.
[06:25] Each of your idols has their own uniqueness to their greatness.
[06:30] If you want to be Deepika Padukone or if you want to be Angelina Jolie, you want to focus on what good things they have done.
[06:40] What do you want to learn from them and then bring them into your life?
[06:43] But you want to be your own self and you want to be your own unique, authentic individual self.
[06:51] Number four, carve out your own path.
[06:55] What I mean by carving out your own path is you are born on this planet to do something awesome, to do something amazing because you are a miracle by yourself and you probably don't even know it.
[07:06] So, what is your path?
[07:07] What makes you excited about life?
[07:10] What makes you happy?
[07:11] You want to carve out your own path.
[07:13] If Oprah's life was all about spreading the word of joy and happiness or positivity or even being the best celebrity on TV,
[07:24] If that was her thing, what is your thing?
[07:27] Everyone has their own individual skill sets.
[07:29] So you want to carve out your own path and figure out what am I really good at?
[07:33] And I'm going to make this into my passion and from my passion, I'm going to make it into a profitable passion.
[07:38] If that's your thing, if not holding on to your passion and then doing your day to day job, whatever you're doing number five, work on your why, why do you want to do that?
[07:51] Whether it's like I mentioned doodling, why do you want to doodle?
[07:54] What does it make you feel?
[07:55] Where do you want to go from it?
[07:57] So ask yourself why you want to do it and then work on your why, your why needs to be very emotional.
[08:04] So, for me, I wanted to do yoga because I wanted to heal my body.
[08:09] I wanted to heal
my body from all the different sufferings that I was facing as a child.
[08:15] And I knew if I can heal myself.
[08:17] I can heal other women.
[08:19] So my why was very strong and I also wanted to work on my identity because I didn't have an identity when I was little.
[08:30] I had issues anyway.
[08:31] Ok.
[08:32] So next number six, be the greatest version of yourself.
[08:38] If you are on this planet right now, what is something that you're hoping and wishing for?
[08:43] Can you do some changes in your life?
[08:45] Can you do some changes in your habits or are you still feeling like?
[08:49] Oh my God, I'm not living the life that I want to live because I have to do this and I have to do the dishes and I have to do the laundry and I have to do blah, blah, blah.
[08:57] If you start becoming the greatest version of yourself, every time you look in the mirror, you'll feel.
[09:03] Wow, I'm so awesome.
[09:05] And when you feel so awesome, you won't compare yourself to others.
[09:08] So in order for you to feel awesome, you got to be the greatest version of yourself.
[09:14] What are you best at?
[09:16] Ask yourself that question?
[09:17] Write it down and work on it.
[09:20] I think this is number seven, but I'm not sure because I have messed the counting up.
[09:24] Ok.
[09:25] Number seven.
[09:26] Stop getting distracted online.
[09:29] Are you checking your Facebook and your Instagram fricking all the time?
[09:33] Because if you are, you're wasting time, you might as well work on your skill set, right?
[09:38] If you're working on.
[09:40] Always looking up and scrolling through feeds and surfing online.
[09:44] You are wasting time.
[09:45] Are you binge eating or binge watching?
[09:48] You're wasting time.
[09:49] You might as well focus on not getting distracted.
[09:54] So stop getting distracted.
[09:55] Define your goal and go all in.
[09:59] I mean, all in, I have a goal and I've been going all in, I'm not there yet, but I know I will be there.
[10:06] But along the way, I'm still enjoying the time that I am trying to get to that goal.
[10:11] So you got to go all in once you define that goal and you also want to go all in so that you have more time to do what you're supposed to do instead of freaking wasting your time.
[10:23] And with that, this will be the last point.
[10:25] Stop wasting time on people that bring you down on people that are toxic on conversations that are meaningless and pointless and small talk on daily activities that do not serve you.
[10:41] What does your calendar look like daily?
[10:43] Do you have your tasks on there that are going to take you to where you need to be and to help you support your goals and be a better version of yourself?
[10:53] Or are you just killing time?
[10:55] Check your screen time and then stop comparing yourself to others, but instead compare yourself to your progress and not to other people.
[11:04] Listen, if you're struggling with something I am here for you all I need you to do is to book a time with me and let's dive into a couple of questions and answers that I'm just gonna ask you to see if it's a good fit for us to even work together.
[11:21] So whether we formally work together or not, at least you are going to gain something from the call.
[11:28] So all you have to do is click on this link below and you will be able to book a call with me.
[11:35] I'll see you on the other side.
