#10 Erasing Mental Health Stigma

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Hey there, welcome to the Mental Refuge podcast. Here we talk all things mental health and Christianity. I am your host, Angela McDonald. I run my website, The Mental Refuge, where I talk about my own personal struggles, mental illness, while also being a Christian and a mom of two. And I help others by giving tips and tricks on what has helped me. To be clear, this is my story. I personally live with bipolar disorder and live with anxiety, so I know what it's like to go through the trenches of life and to feel alone. My goal is to bring you weekly tips and education on how to thrive with your mental health while giving you real examples from my own life and also provide you with a much needed dose of Jesus. I hope you stick around and stay a while. Welcome. Welcome to the newest episode of the mental refuge podcast. I'm so glad you're here and listening today. It is May 13th and we are right in the middle of mental health awareness month. So what better time to talk about stigma? When it comes to mental illness, mental health, all the things we have all heard of some things that have been stigmatizing to us. If we have a mental illness, if you're new here, my name is angel and McDonald and I live with bipolar disorder type one. I'm a wife and a mom of two, and I am a Christian. I believe that Jesus therapy and medication all go hand in hand. So let's go ahead and jump on into today's episode and talk about mental health stigma. So some quick stigmas for you that are popular. As in, I hear it all the time. Everybody hears these things. I'm certain that if you have a mental illness yourself, that you have heard these things before, so common stigmas are, this is all in your head. You are just nervous, especially if you have anxiety. Maybe you've heard the devil is inside of you. You're a worry wart. If you struggle with anxiety. Just calm down. Ooh, that's the big one. Just calm down. You're just trying to get out of doing something. Especially when that comes to, to anything really, when it comes to anxiety, maybe you have a panic attack. If you are depressed, if you're laying in bed and you just cannot get out. Maybe somebody has said to you, you're just trying to get out of doing something when you know that that's not the case. Maybe somebody has called you lazy. Maybe somebody has said you have nothing to worry about what have you got to be depressed about? I have had a family member tell me this before. She said, you've got a great job. You've got a great husband who adores you. You've got kids who love you. What could you possibly be depressed about? No, like, I don't know. G. I don't know what have I thought about that? You might've heard get over it. You're selfish. You're slob. You're grumpy all the time. You're two faced. You're crazy. You're in competent. You're delusional. You're violent or dangerous. And also, maybe you've heard that you cannot hold down a job. These are all stigmas that are related to mental health and I'm here today to break those stigmas. So I found this great article from NAMI spelled in a M I, if you don't know what NAMI is, it stands for. National Alliance on mental illness. They're the world's largest grassroots mental health organization. And their goal is to raise awareness and provide support and education on mental illnesses. So I found this article from NAMI and the thought was really cool. And I'm going to read just a little bit of it. They say most people who live with mental illness have at some point been blamed for their condition. They've been called names. Their symptoms have been referred to if they face or something that they can control. If they only tried in quotation marks. They have been illegally discriminated against with no justice. This is the power that stigma holds. Stigma causes people to feel ashamed for something that is out of their control. Worst of all stigma prevents people from seeking the help that they need. For a group of people who already carry such a heavy burden. Stigma is an unacceptable addition to their pain. And while stigma has reduced in recent years, the pace of progress has not been quick enough. All of us in the mental health community need to raise our voices against stigma. Every day in every possible way. We need to stand up to stigma. So basically what NAMI did the national Alliance on mental illness is they posted a question on Facebook and said, how do you fight stigma? And what I'm going to share with you guys today is some of these answers from real people who live with a mental illness, how they personally fight stigma. I want to note everybody fights stigma in a different way. And I'm going to highlight a few of those ways. So the first person, Angela, not me, Angela, but another angel up. Shared, I fight stigma by talking about what it's like for me to have bipolar disorder and PTSD on Facebook. Even if it's just helps one person, it is worth it for me. Now I know, opening up and sharing your left story on Facebook or Instagram or Tik TOK or whatever might not be your cup of tea. And that is totally fine. Um, my personal Facebook page, I have. Like 569 friends. On there. I want to say. And I do not share about my bipolar disorder on Facebook. I don't share it from my family and my friends to see, I don't share it for these girls from that I haven't seen since middle school or high school to see, I just don't want 569 people. Knowing that much in my life. However. I do share from time to time on Instagram. It is not a personal page. It is my page for the mental refuge. So if you are not following me on there, go ahead and hit follow. But what I have noticed is that when I personally share my story on Instagram, I see so many people coming together. In the past few years, I've had so many people, I've had a few people message me and say, thank you so much for sharing. I've had real life conversations with people. That I've met on Instagram. Well, not in real life, face to face, but I have messaged people on Instagram. Um, been part of conversations. And it really is beneficial when somebody opens up and shares their story, they know that they're not alone. I remember one time I talked to this girl, her name was Jennifer. And I met her on through Instagram. She found my account, the mental refuge. And her husband was newly diagnosed with bipolar disorder. And I think at the time, maybe they didn't know that he had bipolar disorder, but he eventually did get diagnosed. But she would private message me a few times a week and ask me, Hey, what is this symptom feel like, Hey, where are you working on a therapy? You know, what has worked for you? That can work for my husband. Now we don't talk anymore. I haven't messaged her. She hasn't messaged me in a few years now. But because I opened up with my struggles, she came to me, she found me and she was able to ask questions and also relate to me so that she could get her husband the help. That he needed. So you may not feel comfortable sharing to a certain population, your mental health diagnosis. And that is completely okay. But something else he can do when it comes to social media is share this post, share those.. Mental health awareness posts that you're seeing going around right now in may or any other time of the year. Maybe give a generic, Hey, I struggle. Or I have in the past, if you need help, call 9, 8, 8, which is the suicide prevention hotline. Any information that you can find. Surrounding mental health, even if you don't share your own personal story. Hit that share button and let other people know that, Hey, you're not alone. This next comment about Sigma was from Sarah. Sarah said, I take every opportunity to educate people and share my personal story and struggles with mental illness. It doesn't matter where I am. If I overhear conversation or a rude remark being made about mental illness or anything regarding a similar subject. I always try to use that as a learning opportunity and gently intervene and kindly express how this makes me feel. And how we need to stop this because it only adds to the stigma so personal story time. The other week on Facebook, somebody that I actually know somebody from my hometown was posting something and I don't even remember what it was about, but it was something that was controversial. To some people. And one person commented and said, Something like this is what's wrong with mentally ill people. And also said, and we need to put an end to this. Now, I don't know if that person was trying to say, we need to put an end to. This situation, or we need to put an into, to mentally ill people, but they said, this is what's wrong with mentally ill people. It took all of me. I am not a keyboard warrior by any means. I don't go around typing out me messages to people, but it took all of me. I could feel my blood pressure rising that day and I don't even have high blood pressure. I was getting heated because I so badly want to comment to this stranger that I don't know, she knows. We have that mutual friend who made the post. I so badly want to comment this? Comment. Your comment is so hurtful for people who actually have a mental illness. So, so, so hurtful. But I didn't. And let this girl, Sarah said she gently intervenes and kindly expresses how those hurtful statements make her feel. I knew that in that moment I would not have been kind and I probably would have ended up crying over it. So I didn't. Share a comment at all. Now, looking back, I still remember that. And this was one or two weeks ago. And part of me wishes that I did make that comment, but the other side of me is like, you know what? The time has passed. It's too late now I'm not going to go back and write that comment. Right. So it is completely fine. Life moves on. If it happens again, maybe I'll speak up next time. Help me state it. I fight stigma by reminding people that their language matters. It is so easy to refrain from using mental health conditions. It's adjectives. And in my experience, Most people are willing to replace their usage of it with something else. If I explain why their language is problematic. I have shared with you guys before I have heard so many things I have heard the weather is bipolar. Uh, the weather is so bipolar today because it went from sunshine and happy to cloudy and thunderstorm rain, and then sunshine and happy again. No, maybe it's just summertime and you live in the south and you have those summer thunderstorms that pop up out of nowhere. And then it becomes sunny again, like the weather is not bipolar. Weather does not have a brain. The clouds don't have brains. It isn't a thing. No, guys, the weather is that bipolar. I also share with you guys before. That somebody said that she thought that her baby was bipolar because he would go from. Really, really happy and giggling and smiling too. Just a sudden burst of tears. And I explained to her, I was like, no. No, no girl, your, your baby has not bipolar. He's a baby and it is, it's just what they do. Also when people say they're psychotic, you know, are they really psychotic? Are they hearing things that aren't there or are they seeing things that aren't there? Because that's the definition of being psychotic or having psychosis. So, I don't think the regular run of the mill Parson who might raise their voice or yell or throw something out of anger or mix the scene at Starbucks because they didn't get their order. Right. You know, whatever it is that does not mean that they are psychotic. We've got to get that out of our minds. And a big one for me. To change the language. I cannot stand it. When somebody says that they have PTSD from a bad experience when they are out somewhere, say at Walmart or they're at a restaurant. I have heard so many people say I have PTSD from. Working at this place. I have PTSD from working at Walmart and I had a load up these heavy bags of dog food. What that is not PTSD. Guys know if you go to a restaurant and somebody gets your order wrong and they spill their food all over you or whatever it may happen. And you just don't want to go back. That just means that you don't want to go back. That does not mean that you have PTSD from that experience. And when you share these things, when people say these things like the weather is bipolar so-and-so is psychotic. I have PTSD from working at Walmart or from this bad restaurant experience. How do you think that makes us feel. It makes us feel like.. Our feelings aren't valid. Or that even worse, we're being made fun of. And that is not a good feeling to have some people say those things ingest. And they're probably just not thinking when they say it, but it can be really, really hurtful. When the correct language isn't used. This was probably my favorite comment, which I'm going to explain. Meghan commented. I find that when people understand the true facts of what a mental illness is that being a disease. They think twice about making comments also remind them that they wouldn't make fun of someone with diabetes, heart disease, or cancer. So when it comes to medication, people don't think twice about taking medication for diabetes. Heart disease, high cholesterol. You don't think twice about it. How many of you would look at someone and say, I can't believe you're on medication for high cholesterol. Why don't you just exercise? You'll feel better. Nope. You would never say that because that's pretty stupid. But people are stupid and say those things about mental illness as well. I had a therapist in the past, who I saw one time, we just did not click. I knew for 100% certainty that she was not going to be the right therapist for me. And I was deeply depressed out within a suicidal episode or a very depressive episode. I had the suicidal thoughts. And she was so focused on that very first session upon meeting me. About my weight. Now, this is when I was 90 pounds heavier than I am currently, but she was so focused on my weight. And she was convinced that my depression was because I was overweight. And because I was overweight that it was causing low self-confidence. And I told her, yeah, I probably do have low self confidence. It could be better, but that's not what's causing my depression. My depression is because I have bipolar disorder and major mental illness. And she kept going on and on and on about it. And then she said, well, why don't you just exercise? You'll feel better. That made me feel so dumb. That made me feel like I was in imposter or maybe I don't have bipolar disorder. If I can just exercise and feel better than what am I doing, why don't I just do that? And then those thoughts were fleeting. They did not last long. I snapped back into reality after having those thoughts. And I was like, you know what? No, this isn't right. I do have a major mental illness. I have bipolar disorder. It can't just be taken away by exercise. I do have to have medication. I do have to go to therapy. I do have to see a psychiatrist to get that medication. There are so many things that encompass it. And for somebody to just say, why don't you just exercise? You'll feel better. You won't be depressed. That was really hurtful. Another point that I want to bring up with this is that we need to stop stigma when it comes to mental illness, by letting people know. That mental illness is just as important as any physical illness. When somebody breaks their leg or has surgery of some sort. They're probably going to get flowers sent to them. They're going to get cards in the mail. They might even have a meal brought over to them or have someone pick up around the house. And those are all valid. We want those things to happen. Right. Like, I want people to do that. I want people to have a community to have friendships. If somebody is going through cancer diagnosis, I want them to have meals brought to them. I want them to have flowers sent over to their house to cheer them up a little bit. I want to have groceries delivered to them or gas cards given to them. Whatever's needed. Those things are super, super important. But unfortunately we don't get those luxuries. We don't get those things when we have a mental illness and it is heartbreaking. I have never once had somebody send me flowers because I was in a depressive episode. Or I have never. Had somebody come over and help me out with the dishes. Or cook me a meal or bring me a meal. I've never had that stuff. And I've had bipolar disorder. I was diagnosed in January of 2017. So it's been a while. Not one single person has come over to help out. And I have personal friends. Who know about my diagnosis. I don't keep it hidden. From too many people. I, I do try to open up. We don't get a GoFundMe page because we can't work. A lot of people who can't work because of their mental illness, they do get on disability, social security. But we won't get, go fund me pages because we have to take time off of work. Maybe we're hospitalized. For our mental illness. And not only do we have hospital bills, but we've used up all of our PTO at our job. So that means that we're not going to get paid. We might be on a new medication, which is so expensive for psychiatric meds. We don't get those luxuries of having people take care of us. Most of the time, it's just us. But I think that the more people realize that mental illness is just as equal to a physical illness. Then we can gain a better understanding for each other so my suggestion is that we start with us. If you notice somebody and go back to my episode about be a noticer. If we know that somebody is struggling with a mental illness. Be that friend that you want to have go send them flowers, not just for physical illnesses, but for mental illness. Maybe they suffer with depression. Maybe they have bipolar disorder or schizophrenia or schizo affective disorder. Maybe they have huge anxiety where it's hard for them to get out socially. And maybe you've noticed, Hey, they used to come out and hang out, but they've canceled their plans lately. Whatever it may be pick somebody that you know, could use, they pick me up. Give them flowers. I think there's a day coming up in may for like, Give somebody give a random person flowers or something like that. Send someone, you know, with a mental illness, a card and let them know that you're thinking about them. Go over to their house offer to do the dishes offer, to do a load of laundry. Even one single load of laundry can lift the weight off of somebody. We have got to be the ones who start this because no, one's going to do it for us. So once people see that, Hey, mental illness is just as important as physical illness, maybe that'll help reduce the stigma. That is my hope. One day. Either in my lifetime or in my children's lifetime. I really hope that mental illness is seen just as important as any physical illness. The next thing we can do to fight stigma. Isabelle says, I fight stigma by saying that I see a therapist and psychiatrist. Why can people say that they have an appointment with their primary care doctor without fear of being judged, but it's not that way in psychiatry. I still think there's a lot of stigma when it comes to therapy and especially seeing a psychiatrist. I remember when COVID hit and back in 2020, everyone was all of a sudden talking about therapy. And that was a great thing because people were going who otherwise would've never gone. But it took this big, huge event and being isolated in order for people to realize that we all need therapy. But with psychiatrist, I think it's even. More stigmatized. You know, people are opening up more and more in the past for. Uh, past three to four years about going to therapy. But thing is psychiatrist is a whole nother level. Now some people do get their psych meds from their primary care doctor. Especially if they deal with anxiety or depression, but if you have a major mental illness, such as bipolar disorder or schizophrenia, you should be seeing a psychiatrist. And I think a lot of people still have misunderstandings. When it comes to them. My mom still to this day thinks that when I see a psychiatrist. That I lay down on a leather sofa, like I'm on an episode of Frasier and I sit back and just talk for an hour. And I told her so many times, no, that's not the psychiatrist does. Like I talked to my therapist for about an hour, but it's not on this fancy leather sofa staring at the ceiling. That's not what it is. My psychiatrist is just there. For a quick 10, maybe 15 minute appointment at best. And it's just, Hey, how are ya? Or your med still working? How are you sleeping? Good. Okay. Here's your refill? They're solely there for medication, medication management. So there is still this big misunderstanding of what providers actually do and don't do. So I think the more that we open up to people, like the more times I tell my mom. No mom, this is what a therapist does. This is what a psychiatrist does. The more you tell your family and your friends, and even strangers about what actually goes on in these psychiatric. World. I think that greatly reduces stigma in the mental health community. And lastly, Jamie says, I fight stigma by not having stigma for myself, not hiding from this world in shame, but being a productive member of society. I volunteer at church, have friends and I, my peer mentor and Emma. I take my treatment seriously. I'm purpose driven, and I want to show others that they can live a meaningful life. Even while battling in mental illness. Now I did not write that, but I felt like I could, 100% have written that about myself. If you want to help anybody else remove stigma when it comes to mental illness, you've got to remove this stigma from yourself. Be okay with having your mental illness be okay with struggling? Yes, it sucks, but we've got to just own up to it. And just tell ourselves, you know what, this is my fight. This is my battle. This is my testimony. And I'm not going to give up. So the less stigma that we have for ourselves, the less that any outsiders will have for us as well. Well, that is it for today's episode of the mental refuge podcast. I truly hope that you gain some insight into how you yourself can fight stigma when it comes to mental illness. If you learned anything, please share this podcast. Share this YouTube video with somebody who really could use some encouragement. Or send it to somebody that you want to educate on mental illness and stigma. And while you're here, please hit that like, and subscribe button. It really helps me out. And if you're listening to this on Spotify or apple podcasts or whatever, please hit that subscribe button as well. So that you can keep up with the latest episodes. I truly had this episode helped you out and I hope you have a great rest of your week. Talk to you later.