Sky High Strip - When a handsome passenger finds himself unveiling himself at 38,000ft...

"Sky High Strip" is the inaugural episode of The Red Eye podcast. In this short story, we find ourselves on a flight from Hong Kong to London Heathrow in the early hours of the morning. Rita, is surprised when she discovers a First Class passenger, locked in the toilet. He's naked and behaving erratically, thanks to taking strong sleeping pills... How do the crew get him out of the toilet? How do they get him dressed? And what is it that he's stuffed down the toilet...?

Join us on this hilarious true story,  as we start this journey of adventure, following the extraordinary lives of cabin crew!

Music Credits 

 Sexy Fashion Beats - Music by Yrii Semchyshyn from Pixabay

Sound Effects from Pixabay

Sound Effect by sakari soderling from Pixabay

Transcript

A lesson in taking drugs when flying….

Often flights are known for being a certain way, they have a ‘reputation’ which precedes them. Take for instance a Thursday Vegas, or an Ibiza… these are always going to be super busy, with the majority of passengers thinking that the party starts the minute they get to the airside bar. You know, or you expect them to be amongst the more challenging of your flights. Others, well they are always going to be easy, with well mannered passengers who fly all the time, and when that is combined with a late take off… all you need to do is feed them and you’ll be in crew rest before you know it…

And sometimes your preconceptions are wrong, because when a crewmember donated this story, we’ll call her Rita, I could have sworn she was recalling an LA, or similar flight, where it isn’t unheard of for someone to mix their vodka and Valium and lose their mind a little… so when I realised it was a flight from Hong Kong she was talking of, I couldn’t have been more surprised.

Hong Kong to London Heathrow 0300 hrs

‘We’re done down the back.’ Carrie, the purser from economy was clutching two sick bags and looking with pleading eyes at Rita, making her laugh. Everyone knew what the sick bags were for, and it wasn’t for her to be sick in…

‘You work the breaks out then love, and if you want first, it’s yours.’ 

‘Oh, I love you,’ Carrie said. Relief was written all over her face as she put the bag down on the galley side and began writing the break timings on it. Rita hadn’t needed to ask who had stayed out until dawn when they checked out of the hotel, it was quite apparent. While she had struggled to sleep until the early hours herself, her days of playing air guitar to the rock bands in Insomnia or dancing around the pole in XXX were a few years behind her now, and so, thankfully, were the hangovers.

‘Everyone okay if I turn the lights down?’ She didn’t wait for an answer from the crew who were tucking into the left-over food in the galley before tapping the buttons on the forward panel and setting the cabin lights to sleep. 

‘Four hours each starting in ten minutes.’ Carrie said and handed her one of the sick bags, with breaks noted down on it. ‘Thank youuuuu…’ she called as she almost skipped back into the aisle to pass on the news to her crew in economy. 

‘Nice,’ Rita said, sticking the bag to an oven door with a sticky label. ‘Three on each,’ she said, ‘choose between yourselves.’ The crew, most of whom had mouthfuls of food, murmured their appreciation. The good thing about these long flights was that, along with the passengers, you could almost get a good night’s sleep. She stepped towards the curtain and looked into the now dark business class cabin. Every single passenger was in bed now, tucked up for the night, not to be seen again until morning. 

All except one.

‘Rita.’ Betty, one of the two Cantonese crew they had, barked as she sped up the aisle towards herw. ‘I need you.’

Rita put her finger to her lips. ‘Shhhh,’ she said, looking at the passengers, in case Betty hadn’t realised that they were now in night mode and the passengers were trying to sleep. 

Betty stopped and beckoned her with her hand. ‘Come,’ she ordered, turning around and heading back down the aisle. Rita stood, taken aback for a second by her bossiness, had she forgotten who was the manager? She stayed where she was for a moment and watched as she stopped outside of the toilet at the back of the cabin, thrust her hands onto her hips and stared at the door.

Rita shook her head and reluctantly followed her. When she got there Betty didn’t take her eyes off the door.

‘What’s going on?’ she asked, confused. There was no call bell on above the door, and it wasn’t locked.

‘I think he needs help,’ Betty said. She was shaking her head, her face was screwed up and she looked really… annoyed.

‘Who?’ Rita asked, stifling a laugh. Betty had been so smiley all flight, and found this angry version of her quite comical. What, or who on earth had wound her up, she wondered.

‘5A, he definitely needs help.’ Betty shook her head again. ‘Open the door,’ she said, waving her hand at it. ‘You will see…’

Rita frowned at Betty, trying, to no avail, to remember who had been sat in 5A, and turned to the door. She pushed it gently in the middle, making it fold inwards, but before it was even half way open she felt something stop it. Something was in the way.

‘Sir, are you okay? Is the door stuck?’ she leaned into the small opening she had made. ‘Sir,’ she said again, pushing the door gently some more, it still didn’t move. Betty tapped her on the shoulder. Without letting go of the door Rita followed her finger to where it was pointing… through the gap, and at the toilet mirror, the broken mirror with a long, jagged crack reaching all the way from one side to another… and then she saw him, or at least she saw his reflection.

5A, the man who everyone had noticed when he boarded. The handsome, early thirties businessman who also happened to be one of the airline’s top flyers, was looking back at her, grinning from ear to ear, his eyes laughing, shoulders bare.

Rita almost smiled back out of habit, that was what you normally did when a passenger smiled at you, you smiled back. But this wasn’t a normal passenger, he certainly wasn’t acting normal anyway, and, although the mirror was only showing his torso, she had an awful feeling in the pit of her stomach that it wasn’t the only part of him that was naked. She squeezed her eyes shut for a fleeting second and prayed that she was wrong, letting the door close. 

‘He broke the mirror trying to get out,’ Betty said. ‘I heard it, and when I knock the door to see if he ok this is what I find. Crazy English man,’ she shook her head wildly.

Rita nodded and breathed in deeply, taking a look around the dark, calm cabin, wondering just how this was all going to play out. But play it out she must, she couldn’t leave the ‘crazy English man’ potentially naked in the toilet all night, could she? For the briefest moment, though, she might just have considered it. 

‘Sir,’ she said firmly, pushing the door open again as far as it would go. ‘I really must insist that you open this door.’ He didn’t move. In the corner of her eye, she could see his reflection in the mirror, and without even looking at it she knew that he was still smiling. Was he mocking her? Was a grown man laughing at her? She wondered, feeling her patience slipping away. ‘Sir, if you don’t open the door, I will just remove it,’ she threatened, reaching up and unclipping the catch at the top. He must have noticed the change in her tone, believed that she would do it, because with that she saw him step back, his hands raised in surrender.

Rita checked over her shoulder quickly to make sure there was no one else around and pushed the door quickly, before he had a chance to block it again. Then she stepped back as far back as she could without letting go.

‘Ahhh.’ Betty squeaked behind her.

‘Good God.’ Rita shook her head slowly. 5A stood in front of them, grinning like a naughty child, totally naked. Rita looked away for a second, diverting her eyes to first the mirror, and then to the toilet behind him that was full of something she couldn’t quite make out. Sucking in a deep breath through her nose she looked back at him… and was astounded to see that he was giggling. Full, shoulder shaking giggles. And not just that, he was circling his hips at them, his manhood helicoptering in front of him.

‘Wow,’ Betty crossed her arms in front of her and looked, with the straightest face down at his lower half. ‘I didn’t realise it was that cold in the cabin.’

{music?}

‘Get me some pyjamas from first,’ Rita sighed, shutting the door. In all of her thirty years of flying she thought she had seen it all, but there was always a first time for everything, wasn’t there?

Betty nodded. ‘Coming up.’

‘Oh Betty,’ Rita called after her. Betty, who was halfway up the dark aisle, stopped and turned around. ‘Size small.’ 

Betty frowned. Rita smiled and nodded. If this man was going to act like this, cause disruption on her quiet flight home from Hong Kong, she would make sure she had the last laugh as he got off the plane, all six foot two, 85 kilos of him.

Minutes later Rita cracked the door open and thrust the pyjamas through. She didn’t look in the mirror, didn’t want to know if he was grinning at her, or worse still, gyrating. ‘Put these on’ she barked. She wouldn’t be calling him Sir again until he started behaving like a gentleman. He took them from her and she snapped the door shut again.

‘We found these on his table.’ Rita turned to see Julie behind her, word had clearly reached the galley. She was holding out a small box. Rita took it from her, noting the strong sleeping tablets and that there were three missing from the packet. She had seen passengers mix their alcohol and medication plenty of times before, although never on this route. She had seen, normally an older lady’s personality change when they had done so…. but she couldn’t recall him even drinking, and he had been nothing but polite and charming all the way up until now…. But she could only assume that these little blue pills had something to do with what was happening. They had clearly not agreed with him.

‘We’ll keep them somewhere safe in the galley,’ she sighed, handing the box back. She wouldn’t risk him taking any more.

‘Are you dressed?’ she asked abruptly, not waiting for an answer before pushing the door open again.

‘Oh for heaven’s sake,’ she rolled her eyes at the manchild, still naked, still gyrating in front of her. There was no sign of the pyjamas. She let the door close for the second time.

‘Right,’ she exhaled. It was time to take control. ‘Betty, another set of pyjamas please. Julie, grab that blanket.’ 

With the blanket in her right hand, she pushed the door with her left. This time she took no notice of his nakedness, or the stupefied look on his face, wrapping the blanket deftly around his waist. Scrunching it together at the front she tugged it firmly until he moved forward, eventually pulling him out of the toilet and into the cabin.

Betty arrived with the pyjamas.

He didn’t struggle as the three of them dressed him as if he were a six-year-old boy. In fact, the only sound he made was to giggle again when the trousers were pulled up and got caught in his… you know what. Eventually he was dressed and they escorted him, one in front and one pushing him gently from behind, back to his seat.

‘Now lay down,’ Rita ordered and pushed him not so gently on the shoulder until he finally laid in his bed, covering him with his duvet. His eyes were wide still, but glassy, like someone who is only awake because of caffeine or drugs. He looked vulnerable now, and she softened, just a little towards him. ‘And go to sleep,’ she said, in a soothing tone. He smiled quite sweetly back at her, and for a minute she saw a glimmer of the person who had first boarded, before he suddenly grabbed both of her wrists and pulled her whole body straight down on top of him…

{music?!}

‘Sir, we are starting descent soon,’ Rita shook his shoulder. He had slept, thankfully, for the past ten hours. ’Sir…’

He rubbed his eyes, blinking as he tried to open them and focus. 

‘You need to get up now.’

He slowly sat up, looking left and right, then down at his pyjamaed body. 

Rita fixed a knowing smile on her face and nodded, just once when he looked at her. ‘Well, that was an interesting night,’ she said.

His face dropped. ‘What happened?’ he asked in a whisper.

‘Oh, don’t you remember, Sir?’ She crouched down to his level.

He shook his head slowly and looked down at himself again. ‘Where are my clothes?’ he asked.

‘Oh, they are in the toilet sir, where you put them, along with the first pair of pyjamas we gave you. If you’d like I can get you a bag and you can retrieve them?

Rita tried not to laugh as his eyebrows raised almost to the top of his forehead. ‘I’m afraid my crew can’t retrieve them for you as they are food handlers…’ she continued.

His face was now in his hands. Rita knew she could and should stop his suffering, but she couldn’t help herself. ‘Don’t you not remember doing your little naked dance for us?’ He shook his head without looking up. ‘Or breaking the mirror?’ Another shake, his face still covered by his hands. ‘Or pulling me on top of you in this very bed?’ 

Now he looked up, dragging his hands down his pale face. ‘I’m sooo sorry.’

‘Don’t be,’ Rita put her hand on his. ‘No harm done, but maybe take it easy on the tablets next time, I don’t think they agree with you.’ She handed him the box.

‘I have an important meeting this morning,’ he said. Rita thought he might cry and almost felt sorry for him. ‘The doctor gave me these to make sure I slept.’

‘Well,’ Rita said brightly, standing up, ‘perhaps don’t take them on your next flight, hey?’

He shook his head. ‘Am I in trouble,’ he asked quietly.

Rita shook her head kindly. ‘No, I had to write up about the mirror, but that’s all. Let’s just say, between us, that it was an accident. As one of our most valued customers I doubt they will even contact you.’ They both knew that she could have called the police for what he had done, whether he was in control of his actions or not… but Rita didn’t want to ruin his life, and she certainly didn’t want her, and her crew, having to be hang around for hours on landing, giving statements and whatever else they needed, when they could all just go home with a good story to tell. Besides, when he wasn’t naked and mocking her, she really quite liked him, and right now it was definitely her who was mocking him. ‘Anyway, when you’re ready, let me know and I’ll unlock that toilet so that you can get your clothes,’ she said, tapping him on the knee as she stood up. 

{music?}

‘Goodbye, Sir,’ Rita could tell that he didn’t really want to look at her, at any of them as he stepped off the plane, but he did, his face flushed with embarrassment. 

‘Thank you,’ he said with an awkward smile.

‘Oh, you are very welcome,’ she grinned. ‘I hope the meeting goes well,’ she called after him. He didn’t turn around. Her, and the other two crew at the disembarkation door, watched as he pulled his cabin bag with one hand behind him along the jetway. In his other hand was a bright yellow biohazard bag in which he had put his clothes. 

‘Perhaps we should have given him a bigger set of pyjamas.’ Julie mused. The pair he was wearing reached neither his wrists or his ankles and clashed wildly with the smart black brogues on his feet.

‘Hmmm,’ Rita mused. ‘Perhaps… But that wouldn’t have been nearly as funny…’

The three laughed as the rest of the passengers departed, and still, many years later, they laugh as they recall this story… I wonder if he does?