Episode 30 - Nothing but Tragedy, Triumph, and Touchdowns

What if life's most crushing blows forced you down a path you never intended to take? This episode of The LNBE Podcast gets deeply personal as I talk about the tragic overdose of my cousin. From a horrific ATV accident that left my cousin with a head injury and vision loss, to the compounded grief of losing his father in 2020, we explore the heart-wrenching realities of his battle with addiction. Despite his struggles, my cousin's humor and resilience always shone through. I share this story to underscore how crucial it is to seek help and support during challenging times and to highlight the dangers of substance abuse.

On a lighter note, I take you on a journey through my chaotic yet memorable experience bartending. From outsmarting college kids with fake IDs to a touching moment of spiritual guidance from my late grandfather, it's a blend of comedy and nostalgia. We also get into some spirited sports talk, analyzing the Patriots' preseason game against the Eagles, and my frustrations with the team's decisions. Wrapping up with some laughs over the curious overlap between sports terminologies and sexual innuendos, this episode offers a mix of somber reflection and light-hearted moments. Don't forget to engage with us on social media and share your thoughts!

If you would like to share your opinion, send an email to lnbemedia@gmail.com

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:08

Hey, how's it going everybody? Welcome back to the LNBE podcast, where LNBE stands for literally nothing but everything. I'm Mike Rispoli and if you guys want to follow me on my socials, you can do so. You can find me on TikTok and Instagram at the LNBE pod. You can also find me on YouTube if you just type in the LNBE podcast on YouTube at the LNBEPod. You can also find me on YouTube if you just type in the LNBEPodcast on YouTube, and if you guys also want to write in, feel free to do so. You can find me at lnbemedia at gmailcom.

Speaker 1: 0:37

And I'm sorry that I'm not as upbeat this time as I normally am, but I unfortunately just got some really sad news. I just came back from having dinner with my parents and my sister and her fiance and right after we kind of finished up the meal and dessert was over, my aunt ended up calling up my mom and it turns out that my cousin ended up passing away from an overdose tonight and it's just like Jesus Christ. I don't know what he passed away from. I mean, he lived in Florida so it could have been anything, let's be honest. But I do know that he had his issues with alcohol and it's just really sad because he's only 31. He was only a couple years older than me. I mean, he had his whole life ahead of him. Now the problem was he was fighting his demons. I know alcohol was a big thing with him, so I actually don't know what he OD'd from. It could have been alcoholism, it could have been something else, maybe something with spike with fentanyl. I really don't know what he OD'd from. It could have been alcoholism, it could have been something else, maybe something with spike with fentanyl. I really don't know the details. But the thing that happened was oh man, I want to say maybe eight years ago, at the most it was 10 years ago.

Speaker 1: 1:36

I really don't remember when this was, but he was riding ATVs with one of his cousins out in Colorado and they only had one helmet. So he gave his helmet to the younger cousin, thinking that he was going to be fine. So he's the one driving the ATV and he ended up crashing it and he ended up having a brain injury and all this stuff, and I think it kind of put him into a little bit of a depression because during the accident he actually lost like 90% of his vision in one of his eyes, so it affected his driving, it affected him getting a job. I mean, at that point he was in his early 20s, maybe his mid 20s. So at that point he kind of probably felt like there's not a lot that he could be doing. I mean, here he is some 20 something year old, he should be out living his life, but he's hindered by this injury. So I think he kind of got a little bit depressed, so he kind of turned to the drugs and the alcohol. But then I think the situation really came to a head when my uncle, his father, passed away in January of 2020. And I think that just kind of made his situation a little bit worse and he just never got back on the right track.

Speaker 1: 2:39

And it's just really fucking sad because this kid was just like the most happy, go lucky guy. He was so naturally fucking funny too. I mean this kid, because of the accident he was advised not to drive. But what does he do? He's a 20 something year old. He's like I'm gonna go try and like make it to work. So he drives his car, he ends up driving it into a fucking lake and it's like who could have seen that coming? Oh, pretty much everybody except him, because he was half blind. Oh guys, I'm sorry that's not really funny, but this is how I'm coping. All right, I cope with fucking humor and um.

Speaker 1: 3:15

So I mean that was the second time that he could have passed away in the span of a couple years. So what's the next thing he goes out and does? He goes and gets a tattoo of a phoenix on his left arm, because we used to call him Nine Lives, because I mean, this kid had escaped death so many times in his life and now, eventually, death unfortunately got him. But my family was down visiting and we all saw his new tattoo and we're like, oh, that's really cool. And my sister was talking to him and she was just like, where do you think the worst place to get a tattoo is? And he goes I don't know your friend's basement, just like that, just so quick. And that was even after the accident. The kid was just always so funny, he was just this happy-go-lucky kid and it's just really unfortunate that he just could not end up getting the help that he needed. I mean, he was in and out of rehab a couple times.

Speaker 1: 4:03

Guys, if you are struggling, go get the help that you need. Don't turn to drugs and alcohol. That is not the fucking answer, people. I've seen it way too many times and I know that if you're not in a spot where you can afford therapy, at least find yourself a good support system, because you just need that one friend, that one good fucking friend, to talk to and just have somebody to be there for you, because all you're ending up doing is just suppressing the trauma or the guilt or whatever it is that you're trying to just not remember or try to make disappear. You're just suppressing it down further. It's always going to be there. You just got to work it out in a natural, healthy way.

Speaker 1: 4:49

You can't turn to something and I understand that a lot of drug addicts. Maybe they start out with pills, maybe they had a surgery and the doctor prescribes you Oxycontin and then you become addicted to the Oxycontin. So now you're looking for something even more cheap or something you can afford, because now you're not getting the oxycontin anymore. So then you turn to heroin. It's just like guys, whatever is out there, it's so dangerous. With all the shit that's going on in the world too, everything's fucking laced with fentanyl. Just don't do it.

Speaker 1: 5:17

I've said it before on this pod. I'm gonna say it again. Growing up, my dad used to always tell me don't put yourself in a bad situation. And I think, like you, think you're going to be able to handle it that one time. And then you're just like, oh well, I was fine the last time, let me do it again. It was kind of fun. And then you just kind of, soon enough it becomes an addiction. Just don't put yourself in that fucking situation. Find a family member, find a friend, if you can afford it. Find a therapist, find somebody to talk to about your problems or whatever it is that you're dealing with. I mean, we all have our traumas, we've all got our bullshit, but you just got to find a healthy way to deal with it.

Speaker 1: 5:55

And I'm not going to sit here and tell you that I'm perfect. I mean, I've mentioned before is the reason why I stopped drinking is because I thought I was starting to get a problem with it. So I put it into it, I put a, I put a stop to it before I knew it was actually going to become a problem. And I mean I smoke weed. I'll be honest and say it. And I've been offered Coke, I've been offered shrooms, I've been offered other shit. But I've never done it because I mean of all, when it comes to psychedelics, I know myself and I'm just not going to be able to handle that shit. But when it comes to like hard stuff, like coke, crack, meth, heroin, whatever the fuck it is, I just always remembered in the back of my head what my dad used to tell me, which is don't put yourself in a bad situation. And I'm just like this is something that, knowing me, I might get hooked on it and I just don't want to have that problem, so I'm just not even going to deal with it.

Speaker 1: 6:51

And you got to be strong enough to say no. If you got friends who are trying to peer pressure you into doing shit and they're saying, oh, like, you'll be fine, don't worry about it, or if they're doing the whole like pussy move where you're like, oh, you're not going to be cool, like you want to hang out with us, you got to do this, then fucking don't hang out with them. Because let me tell you, those are not your fucking friends, guys. Those are not people that you should be dealing with. Those are not good people. Surround yourself with people who actually want to support you, who actually listen to you, who adhere to what you actually want to do.

Speaker 1: 7:26

You never want to put yourself in a situation that's going to make you go like one step back. You always want to be two steps forward and continuously be two steps forward and, honestly, it's reasons like this why I never hung out with anybody who would do that shit. Because I'm like you're. You're a waste of my time at this point. If who, what do you fucking care? If you think I'm a bitch for not trying your fucking drug, what do I give a fuck what you think you think I care? No, I don't give a fuck what anybody thinks about me.

Speaker 1: 7:56

You guys listen to this podcast. I'm losing followers every day, but I also don't care, because I'm putting out what I want to put out. I'm not putting out what I think other people want to hear. Oh, my God, the amount of people who are like, oh, don't talk about this, don't talk about that. And yes, sometimes they might be right, because a lot of the stuff is just unnecessary and a lot of it has also been me just trying to learn how to adapt and figure out what you guys also like me talking about, but you guys don't write in, so I don't know what you guys like to hear and what you guys don't like to hear, but I just truly do not associate with people who I know have their problems, and especially those who try to get me to become involved with their own shit. And I think a lot of that is just because they're projecting their own bullshit onto me so that way they have somebody else to join in on their misery, and it's like fuck that. Why are you projecting your fucking insecurities and your bullshit onto me? Because you fucking made a mistake and it's truly unfortunate, because I lost my cousin to those types of people.

Speaker 1: 9:00

Fuck, my cousin was in an AA program or he was in some sort of I don't know. He was in some sort of drug rehab program and his fucking sponsor was also the one helping them get drugs. It's like, dude, that is the complete opposite of what you should be doing, like who the fuck hired you and, unfortunately for my cousin, the demons got the best of him and now he's no longer here. So a serious rest in peace to my cousin. Man, we're gonna fucking miss you, buddy, your sense of humor, your, your great personality, dude we're. The world is missing out on you, man and it is a serious loss, not even for my family, but for just for anybody who even knew him. He was just such a good soul and I know this has been a really dark start and I'm sorry it's not what I intended to talk about today, but I just got the news.

Speaker 1: 9:47

So can you bear with me on this one and I really don't know how to segue out of this except for okay, so we're talking about drug and alcohol addiction. Let's talk about my situation. That happened at the bar on fr night, oh, but you know what, before I get into that, speaking of, I actually do have a video of me picking up the girl and bringing her out of the bar from two weeks ago. So maybe I'll post that on my social so you guys can see it, because it is actually kind of funny. But all right, let's kind of segue into a bar story here, because at least that's something that I know you guys like me talking about. So let's get into that.

Speaker 1: 10:20

So Friday night I'm working the door per usual and these two kids come up to me. One had a real ID, one had a fake ID. But the kid with the fake ID really wanted to get in and he was some scrawny little fucking white boy. And he comes up to me and he's like all right, man, I'll make you a deal. If I can beat you in a push-up contest, will you let me in? I'm like buddy, that's your competition to lose, but I'll fucking bite, let's do it. And there's a second group of kids sitting outside. So now I got an audience. So now I'm definitely like there's no way in hell I'm gonna lose to this fucking kid. It also doesn't help that I just have a natural competitiveness to me. And it's so funny because they're all trying to hype him up like oh man, you don't know him. He's actually a lot stronger than he looks. I think he's got you. So we both get down and we start at the same time.

Speaker 1: 11:09

By the time I had done 50 push-ups, he bowed out at 25. Then his friend wants to get involved and he's like all right, right, let me see if I could do it. I'm like shit, I just fucking did 50 push-ups. Had I known I was gonna have to do this twice, I would have kind of let up a little bit. I maybe would have just done 30.

Speaker 1: 11:27

So this kid gets down, I go again, this kid gets down and now I only crank out 40. I'm like shit, I'm getting tired, but lucky for me, he bowed out at 20. I'm like dude, you're worse than your fucking friend. And I'm like you guys aren't related, right. And he's like no, why? I'm like, oh well, good, you wouldn't want to have two embarrassments in the family now, would you? And not only did you embarrass yourself, but you've also annoyed me. So now neither one of you are getting in. I don't give a fuck. And plus and plus, I can guarantee that loss of dignity ain't attractive to any chick in there.

Speaker 1: 12:06

So now one of his cronies starts piping up and he starts talking at me and trying to defend his friend. But I noticed that he's wearing pants with a floral pattern on them. And I'm just like dude, I think what you got designed on your pants is gonna be what I'm gonna get for my next tattoo. So now I'm just like who the hell do you think you are trying to get into the bar with a bathing suit? On there, flowers, I don't care who you are. It is impossible to put on a tough guy act while you're wearing blue shorts with pink roses on them the bitchiest pants I had ever seen. I swear to God, I think my sister had those shorts back when she was in middle school. Oh, mike, you're just so mean to these kids. You think I care these privileged ass greenwich fucks thinking that they're tough. Meanwhile, I know for a fact I've pushed out shits that are harder than these kids.

Speaker 1: 12:51

But then meanwhile on saturday I actually ended up working the bar. So mikey makes drinks over here and it was crazy because I actually you know what fuck it. I don't care. This has already been kind of a dark podcast, so I'm just going to keep it in that realm at this point. So I ended up going to church on Saturday before my shift, so that way I wouldn't have to wake up early on Sunday to go.

Speaker 1: 13:13

And since this was going to be one of the last weekends now I've only actually bartended like seven or eight total times at this bar in my life and in my life in general and I had a feeling that it was going to be a little bit busier than normal, because this is one of the last weekends before all the college kids go back to school, so this is kind of like their last hurrah with all their hometown friends. So I thought it was going to be busy and I remember just being in church and I was actually praying to my grandfather, because I think I mentioned on this pod before that my grandfather used to own a bar in town and I was like you know, grandpa, I think it's going to be really busy tonight and I'm not totally sure if I'm going to have a helping hand tonight. I don't know if I'm going to be able to weather this storm. I don't know how many people are going to be showing up. I have a feeling that I might have to man it alone. So I could really use your help tonight, if it comes down to it, because, having owned and operated a bar before, I could really just use some of what you got for me.

Speaker 1: 14:16

And around 930, like a small group of people came in. Nothing too crazy, nothing I couldn't handle. It was only like maybe 10 people. And then around 11, 1115, all of a sudden they started coming and I didn't have my help with me and when that initial rush came I felt the panic. Like you get a little bit of anxiety when you have a lot of people all at once. You're just like holy shit, it's coming and you don't know when it's going to stop. So the panic kind of set in and all of a sudden, within 30 seconds, I just felt this overwhelming sense of calm and something in the back of my head was like you got this, dude, don't worry about it, this is fine. And it was a great night. No cards were left behind.

Speaker 1: 15:03

There was one drink that I didn't know how to make because I'd never made it before, but somebody helped me out with letting me know what was in it and it was fine. It was a Cosmo. I've never ordered a Cosmo because I'm not a bitch, but I'm joking. I'm actually friends with the kid who ordered and he just ordered it just to bust my balls, just because he knew I didn't know how to make it. But I will say the person who ordered it said it was fine, which also meant that my ratios were right. So not bad for a first time. Huh, I popped my Cosmo Cherry, but the whole night ended up being incredibly easy and it ended up just being like your typical tequila, soda, vodka, pineapple, whatever the fuck it was, and a lot of beers went. So nothing too crazy happened.

Speaker 1: 15:42

I was able to weather the storm and there was just this overwhelming sense of calm and I just knew I was like my grandfather was definitely there with me tonight and I don't know if I didn't pray to him earlier on in that day, if that would have happened. There were no glitches, everything ran smooth, it was fine. And it also kind of really made me think like this is something that I could possibly do if I were to continue doing this, and it's also just reasons like that why I continue to go to church, because it's also just another way for me to connect with my loved ones who have now passed, and my grandfather was one of the biggest churchgoers that you could imagine. I mean, I remember being like a child maybe like six, seven years old and my grandfather, every time he babysat us we had to go to church Like that was his big thing. So church was actually a big part of my life growing up, which is also why I continue to talk about it throughout like episodes on this podcast.

Speaker 1: 16:39

But I remember, like the church that we used to go to, my grandfather used to sneak us through the back and we would actually like walk through the kitchen area of the church and I don't know what happened. He ended up like talking to some person that he knew or something, and me and my sisters were complaining that we were hungry. So he was just like oh, I got something for you. So he starts digging in one of the cabinets in the church's kitchen and he pulls down a plastic container full of Eucharist and he puts it on the counter. And one of the guys he was talking to was like I don't know if you're allowed to give them that. He's like it's not blessed, it's fine. So me and my sisters are just sitting there eating the eucharist like they're fucking chips, but it's fine. When I go to church and I put my fingers in the holy water to do the sign of the cross, my fingers don't fucking bust up in flames. So we're, we're good, I think we're fine.

Speaker 1: 17:30

Oh man, I'm sorry guys, I know this episode isn't really as like light-hearted and it's funny, but considering, like all the news that I just got today, I'm just like I got to put something out, but I'm also kind of not in the mood and I I'm doing this for you at this point. So if you're sticking with me at this point, thank God. Honestly, you know what? If you are sticking with me at this point, write in and let me know what you think. If you guys like this stuff, you got to let me know. Do you think other people would like it too? I don't know. Like I really don't. You guys got to start writing in and you got to start sharing it with people too. I mean, as much as I want to put out content, I also don't know how to repurpose some of the content that I put out on this pod because I don't know what you guys like. So unless you guys give me some sort of interaction and tell me like what you or your friends, whoever're sharing this with like on this thing, there's not much I can really go by. So and I also do have a full-time job on top of working the bar, so it's also a matter of like my time is limited. So if the less I can actually think about what the post on my socials that you guys want to interact with, the better it'll be. But all right.

Speaker 1: 18:38

Since we're on the topic of stuff getting better, I did watch the Patriots preseason game against the Eagles and I wasn't too unhappy with what I saw. Now I'm really upset that the fucking Patriots got rid of Judon, considering that guy was like the heart and soul of those past what two to three shitty Patriots teams that we had and the way that it went down. Don't tell me that Bill Belichick does not haunt those fucking halls, because I don't even know why they got rid of him. It was a contract dispute. Was it because he wanted more money than what they were giving him? Like the fact that they released him because he wanted more money? That seemed like a total Belichick move. So the fact that the Patriots are still pulling that bullshit meanwhile am I the only one still bugging, as a Pats fan, that they got rid of the fan favorite Jacoby Myers to pick up Juju Smith-Schuster? Their stats were identical and there was no point in us even picking him up. He did nothing for the Patriots those three years, and now I also found out that they cut his ass too. So it's just like guys, why did you waste three years with some bum when we had a fan favorite that was actually getting targets and doing something with the freaking ball makes no sense to me.

Speaker 1: 19:54

But I will say watching that preseason game. Now, I never watched preseason football. This is actually the first year I've even ever watched it, because I just don't really care about preseason. I'm like I'm not gonna watch a bunch of scrubs just play like I want to. I want to see what actual football is.

Speaker 1: 20:07

And then it's really funny because then when, like, the backup quarterback comes in and it's some guy on a rookie deal and he drives down the field to score a touchdown, they're like, and he just had his first nfl scoring drive. It's like well, that score doesn't fucking count. So is it really his first drive? Like it's no different than a practice. I don't know. That also doesn't make sense to me, but I can't remember if it was the first driver, was the second drive and the patriots have jacoby brissett and jacoby brissett does what jacoby brissett does and on the first or second drive he tries to throw a touchdown, ends up throwing a pick in the end zone and it's just like all right, like that's par for the course for what this Patriots team is going to be.

Speaker 1: 20:44

But then they put in Drake May and I got to say Drake May looked like he could actually play in the league. I saw one score where he actually ran it in for a touchdown. I think it was like a five yard run. So he actually looks pretty mobile and the offensive line was doing their job, but he found the hole on the keeper and he scored and I was like, all right, bring some life into the team. See what Drake Mays all about. He actually made some pretty good passes. I'm not unhappy with what I saw. I don't want to get too excited and also say what I said about the Steelers last week, but maybe the Patriots also found their answer at quarterback. But also, yet again, I'm basing this off of the Mac Jones era and, oh God, I would literally take 31 other guys before I took Mac Jones again. I actually think I would have taken Zach Wilson over Mac Jones and that's probably an arguable take. Oh, but you know what? Here's actually a random thought. You know how I just said that he found the hole and he was able to score.

Speaker 1: 21:37

It's actually kind of amazing how many sexual references you could turn into sports analogy, like what came first? The sex or the sports? I'm assuming the sex did. But like, think about it found a hole in baseball, you got first base, second base, third base and he scored. Like it all just sounds sexual. Golf is probably the worst. Threesome, foursome, another one get in the hole. It's just like my god, how is this allowed on tv? I don't know, is that another segment idea you guys gotta write in? But what are some other like sexual terminologies that could also be sports related? But all right, people, I think that does it for me today.

Speaker 1: 22:14

If you guys like this episode, please share it with a friend, go ahead and follow me or subscribe on whatever podcast platform you're listening to this on, and if you like the pod, feel free to leave a comment and give me a five-star review. I'd greatly appreciate it. And, don't forget, you can also follow me on my socials. You can find me at the LNBEPod, on TikTok and Instagram, and you can also find all the audio uploads of these on YouTube as well. Oh, and also, if you want to write in, you can email me at lnbemedia at gmailcom All emailcom. All right, guys. That does it for me. I hope you all have a fantastic week and I will catch up with you next Tuesday. Thanks for listening, thank you.