Episode 4: Karen’s Relationship History

Karen discusses her tumultuous childhood which led her to make life altering decisions in her adult relationships. With 3 kids and a spouse in prison, Karen shares what kept her going and how finding love again wasn’t quite what it seemed.

• Are you responsible for recognizing red flags? Karen speaks to the pain she experienced as a kid and how she navigates life overall-it makes you who you are. We’re a product of our experiences and bring you to NOW and to be thankful regardless.
• Growing up one of 4 children, living in an alcoholic household which included many levels of abuse. Her parents divorced when she was 9 but adolescence was no better. 
• Karen describes being on her own and working regularly to buy the necessities including shampoo. No AC quite often, free lunch tickets and lived in a battered women’s shelter multiple times.
• Karen’s ability to put multiple outfits together came from trying to stretch her wardrobe and not look like a poor kid. She made a career out of her ability to show up looking the part.
• Knowing her childhood was temporary was something she was counting on because she wanted something more. More stability, more peace.
• Abuse was rampant in her home between being physically abused as well as mentally, emotionally abused.
• Karen’s mother was checked out emotionally and due to always working to survive, just wasn’t around. Sexual abuse was committed by a neighbor as a young child.
• Karen married the “safe” choice who’d never had a drink and was what seemed to be a nurturer/hunter/gatherer type personality, hoping to choose someone who would build a life with her.
• A white-collar crime put Karen’s husband in prison for 5 years, leaving her alone with 3 kids aged 4, 5, 13. Many months behind on rent, a car that was repossessed and selling most of her possessions was the new reality.
•  No time to deal with her own depression because of loss (her BIL, father, brother), Karen took on multiple jobs to make it work. 
• Karen then met a narcissist who appeared to be everything she needed when in fact he was 100% fake who was married 2x prior. Believing SHE was the one to love him better and SHE understood him. He was in fact, NOT that person.
• Dating is off the table, Karen has had 3 relationships and is retired from dating! She’s convinced that people are NOT who they say they are. Katie is convinced that the only way to really know someone is when life gets hard. Who shows up then? The person who shows up when things are difficult are the REAL personalities in the relationship. 
• Feeling a sense of shame from being in a second marriage that then failed, Karen still looks back with a bit of a struggle because she made a life in spite of what she went through. 
• Your life is YOUR fault. You choose everything you have in this moment.