How to Get your Partner to BEG for Anal Pleasure!

How to go from pain to pleasure, so you and your partner can learn to love anal Pleasure in various forms. Steve "The Ass Master" gives tips about the ins and outs of anal pleasure.  Sage and Steve talk in detail about everything you need to know to make it a safe, sexy, and of course pleasurable experience. Yes, put the kids to bed first, folks. This is raw, unscripted, and HOT! 

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Transcript

0:06

Welcome to the Sexy and sacred Show with Sage and Steve where sexuality, sensuality and spirituality meet to help you create a blissful relationship that enhances your spiritual path and raises your love vibration for personal and planetary transformation. Hey, everybody, Sage here with Steve and. We have been talking quite a bit about anal pleasures. And Steve has some really cool suggestions that are sexy and practical and we were just laughing before we hit record because he is kind of a bit of an ass master. I am the ass master. He's definitely an ass man. Fortunately, I'm blessed in that department. And I was just thinking, we need a poem. Because, you know, we almost always do a poem. So how does this strike your fancy? Butts. Butts. Glorious butts. She loves the way he stands and struts ass as glorious ass. He loves her curves and Spanx that sass. So that's her little intro. And we are getting very spicy very quickly here. So let's turn it over to ask master. Ass master. Way, way back when I was a youngster and I had. A woman that soon became my wife soon, like seven years after that. It wasn't exactly soon. It was like a long eventuality after that. And she I remember one time we were at my parents' house. And we were. In front of the fireplace, the parents have gone to bed a long time ago. And she told me get up on my hands and knees and she gave me my first experience of anal pleasure. And I was pretty shocked and. At the same time, excited. So here I am, she says. Get up on your hands and knees. A little dominatrixy. Woo. Yeah, so I'm like, get ready to receive the baby. What's going on? And she says, just do it. So I get up on my hands and knees and I'm Naked. We both have been cuddling under a a blanket on top of AI think it was a fur or something very sexy in front of the fireplace. It's very nice, very sexy. So she gets behind me as I'm on my hands and knees and gets on her hands and knees and then starts rubbing her tongue underneath my balls and reaching around and gently touching my cock. And it woke me up to like. Extremely excited and next thing I know she had her tongue tickling my ass and I've never had anything like that done at that point in my life. And it started to feel very good very quickly and she kept doing that. And I don't, I know she had a boyfriend previously. Keep in mind we're like 20 years old. I'm 21 andshe's 20, so we're very young. So, but she had learned this from someone and this kind of stuck with me. Because it's something I didn't even imagine, like existed. Yeah, I didn't even know Anal Lingus. It's called Anal Lingus. I didn't even know Analingus existed until actually, like, a year ago. Wow. And I'm in my late 50s, so it's not a thing that a lot of people talk about. And in fact, when you talked about her, let's do a show about anal sex, you know, I was mostly thinking about people penetrating. One person is a penetrating partner and the other is a receptive partner, and this doesn't matter whether what gender they are or what sexual orientation they are, right? We all have. A hole there, you know, that might be different ways to explore that, but I really, you know, the the tongue thing was totally new to me, obviously was new to you at age 20, was new to me at age 57. So in this case. The the area of the paranium on a man is typically very sensitive. The anal area varies with with men, and it also varies with the amount of. Of teasing and tormenting on his head beforehand. So I noticed, you know, in my case. She basically was taking her tongue and bringing it between my balls, gently looking at my balls and going down to the perineum and going up and putting her lips and tongue around my ass and kind of poking it in my ass just a little bit and then teasing up and down and. It very quickly made me really, really excited and I noticed that I had this stair step effect. Where every time she'd go back to my balls and lick, lick my balls and then and then go by Paradigm and back to my ass, each area would be a little bit more excited each time. And she probably did that for a good 45 minutes. And I was literally my my legs were shaking and I. I was, you were just pure petty, just completely out of my mind with excitement. And then she reached up and started stroking me. So she was stroking my cock slowly as she was teasing my ass and back to my balls again. And she kept doing that. And I think when I finally came, she was actually licking my, licking my balls and my perineum. Just up, up and down slowly, up and down and lightly, gently. And I came. I remember coming so hard and so much that I heard the sizzling in the fireplace, and I absolutely squirted. All the way to the back of the fireplace. I almost put the damn fire out. It came so hard and so much is unbelievable. So that was a very hot fireman right now. Like, yeah, yeah. OK, so anyway, that was my first experience and I feel very, very blessed to have been introduced in that manner because. When it comes down to sexual play, especially with. Women I have heard many times before. Oh, I've tried that. I'm. No, no, I don't. I oh, no, That's just I'm not into pain. Right. Anal penetrative sex. So that's a woman's first experience oftentimes is with a man, you know, wanting to penetrate her into to do that and to be honest, a lot of men. Probably even vaginal sex. Don't. Give enough foreplay and teasing and you know licking and and gentle stimulation. And you know it. It takes a long time for for either one, but anal especially. I mean for for me personally, because I I like receiving a certain amount of anal myself. Although the the oral analingus for me and not everything for me. It's either way, if I'm going to be giving or receiving, it's got to be extremely clean. I mean ideally doing. A douche enema. There you go. Doing an enema first is ideal. A tush dish, right? That's our name that we came up with. So in any case, for either partner, clean is is important and you know if you're going to introduce somebody something like that. You better be sure and be like, you know, soap. Your if you're a man going to do it with a woman, take her in the shower and you know, play with her and do a little little soap and you know, run your finger over over her little ass and and you know, maybe in just a little bit and see how she responds to that. And mostly just soap here and there, but being careful because if a woman has soap inside of her vagina. Depending on the soap, but generally speaking that's that's not the greatest idea. Can burn can throw off the pH balance, so it's better just to use plain water in terms of doing that. So a lot of companies will try to convince us that our smells are bad and you know, if you're just cleaning nicely with water or you use a little coconut oil which is antibacterial and antiviral and antifungal and anti all the bad stuff. You're probably going to have a perfectly nice scented snatch. But the douching throws off the the balance there and all that stuff. Occasionally you don't want to overdo that either, but if you're doing the anal once in a while and you do that, that might make both of you feel more comfortable. Also, if you did a bowel movement before, like if you kind of know your rhythm, right? Like if you're like a person that I always poop after breakfast or after my coffee and then I also poop, you know, X time of day. Or you know what I mean, like, know what your rhythm is and if you. Let that stuff out. And you're like, OK, there's no activity in there right now. You know, nothing is even thinking about doing anything. And then you shampoo, you know, or just wash in the shower and then a good half an hour anyway after. Like, if you're gonna do, like if you did a an enema, you wanna wait a good half hour or so afterwards that to get everything to kind of relax and kind of come back to normal again. It's it's important because you can end up. It can be uncomfortable. So anyway, that's that's the best, best bet in terms of that. So as far as a play with a with a woman, as far as being, you know, anal intercourse is concerned, you know the oral is kind of as described. The one thing that I have heard from women in the past, there are some women that if you're doing analingus with them. In some cases it can cause a infection if you then go to a woman's vagina. Thinking the same exact thing. So that's it's actually very important to assume that that could happen. So if you have a plan whether you're male or female and and you want to do both cunnilingus and analingus on your woman. Do the cunnilingus first. A whole lot of it first. Yeah, you can do. Lick that sweet, lovely pussy as much as you both are happy with, and then go to the other hole. But don't go back. Back and forth, and the key is then if you get into the analingus at that point, then you can use your fingers for the vagina after that. Right. And likewise, don't put a finger in the butt and then put a finger in that. So the butt is always the last stage and then you don't go back to the batch. Precisely, precisely. And everybody's chemistry is different. I mean, I I remember being with one partner who happened to really enjoy anal a lot. And she wanted to have, you know, oral sex and analingus and back and forth and back and forth. And she just had everything all over and over and over and for her, she never seemed to cause a problem with her. And then she liked anal penetration more than she liked vaginal for her, the mental idea of it, of being up on her hands and knees with a man behind her especially. Reaching around and teasing her clip at the same time. She would have it turned her on big time 678910 orgasms like that with anal penetration and but it means a lot of working up to it and a lot of teasing and getting to the point to where usually she'd have at least one or two or three. At least one clitoral orgasms first. And that's one thing that that I learned for myself. And I have seen that with women who who have told me, believe me, it's not like I've done all kinds of women like this. There's been a few. But there was one in particular that when we got involved in this, I tried after your oral and being my cock inside her vagina and but she hadn't come yet but she said yeah I let's try this with my with my ass. I we talked about it and she was turned on by the idea so we got some Lube out and I started to slowly very very slowly go inside her and that's for guys if you're doing this with a woman. You don't want to go? OK, it seems fine, I'll just go for it now It's like, no, you want to barely, barely tease. Barely. Barely. Just get the head of your penis. Just pay attention. Pay attention to how she feels. Check in with her, ask her how does that feel? Is that OK? And then, you know, tease her clit and play with her and and let her get used to the idea and get relaxed to it. The key though that that I have found is once a woman has had an especially a good strong orgasm, everything kind of more relaxed, Relaxes after that. So you know in her case. Once she had an orgasm, I had the tip of my cock just barely inside, not really even penetrating A sphincter, just just the very opening. And I was teasing her with my fingers and she had a pretty hard orgasm. And then all of a sudden, your sphincter loosened way up and I was able to slowly start penetrating again. And she was really, really excited. And then I kept teasing her, teasing her clit, and then I was able to go inside real slowly. And then I just let her kind of tell me what the dealer pushing against me and living against me, let her guide it, And it finally got to a point to where she came that way. At least once. I don't remember now, but I know she came at least once and for me what I found is it was exciting enough to where I came fairly quickly. But. In many cases for for a man, it doesn't take that much because it's pretty tight. And in most cases, especially the outer part, so it generally is. But in some cases, especially if a woman's come numerous times, it may relax enough to point to where there's not all that much friction, and depending on you or your partner, you may be conscious that OK. You might be going to the point to where you're going to rub her, rob, before you can come. So I've had there a couple times where I just like, I know it's getting to a point to where I I don't want to cause a problem down the road. I don't want to say I don't want to do that again because it ended up hurting me before you could come. So what I have done in a couple of cases is I just stopped and then and then you know and then and then went and cleaned myself up and brought a nice warm washcloth and wiped her off real good. Ladies and gentlemen of Aftercare, Aftercare, are we talking to you more about because you've been asking us for more about foreplay and aftercare and how important that is and emotionally, how important that is too. When your partner shows you like, just because we're done with the active stimulation portion of the show, you know, does not mean that the sex is over or that the loving and the cuddling has to be over. So you know that loving care of getting that warm washcloth and just, you know, being open to what does your partner want now? Like, do they want to sleep? Do they want to kiss?Do they want to talk, do they want some massage or you know having those kind of conversations and just being available for that and and not rushing and that's beautiful. Thank you for sharing about all of your partners with that and one one thing because being with with you. The aftercare, because we love each other so deeply and we have such this wonderful heart connection is so profound and so meaningful. For me, it just about brings me to tears, right? I'm cheering up now just thinking about it, because. I've never had a partner who loved me enough to be really like, OK, where are you at with that? And for example, if we get into oral sex, if I have a good hard orgasm with her pleasure in me, which is absolutely one of my favorite things in the in the world. That she will keep me in her mouth and energetically still be connected with me. Most women have a habit of like, oh God, I get this stuff in my mouth. I got to go get it out. And then they as soon as you come, they run off to the bathroom. And then you're lying there still feeling energetically disconnected. Throbbing. You're still still coming, even if you're not ejaculating. And then your partner is gone energetically and emotionally and you're you're disconnected. And it's a very, it's kind of a bad feeling. And I've had that most of my life. So you are the first person that I can say that has done that to some degree. I've had it. But you take it to like, are you done, you know, And you can feel it energetically, holding space with you until you feel complete for the next thing, whatever the next thing is. So a lot of it is it's the energetic connection and that's when you have. A soul mate to have someone that has this deep heart connection. You can feel each other, and that's, to me, that's another episode we can get into as far as the energetic aspect of it. But did you have something else you wanted to say about the the aftercare pardon portion? No, I think that's that's good for now. And you know, one thing I think that's a great take away from all of this is communication. And sometimes with the right partner, you may find that you're open and willing to try something that either you've never done before. Or you've done before, you know, X number of years ago with a different person, perhaps that didn't go so well. And anal is one of those things, whether it's penetration or analingus, whether it's giving or receiving. And so that's four different things to consider. So many people's experiences have been based on it not being done right and they have no perception of it being done right, 'cause they know, they have no experience of that. So it's all I can say is it can be. Incredible. And there is a connection between the anal and the vagina. That skin is very skin in between. So depending on the position, you can experiment with different positions. But once the sensations start to really get there, it's not uncommon for a woman to have orgasms that way. But it's all a matter of your preference. It's a matter of, like you said, communication and and you know, being willing to to. Being willing to share and be open with your partner enough that you're willing to try different things and communicate about, you know, I'd really like to do this and can we try, you know, and once you have that degree of trust. With your partner, that's more critical. But he's doing this. I know, but that's the most critical factor of this is you have to get where you have a deep heart connection and you have to have trust. For some people, anal can be like a control thing and a woman likes, yeah, I just want you to fuck me in the ass or even a man, you know? I want you to put a strap on and do it, but. That's something that that can be and typically is painful unless you really worked up to it. So even if you're playing that emotional part of it. That can be really sexy and really exciting. I mean, you can get into blindfold and on and on, but it has to be mutual. Kink for sure. We definitely have so much more to share with all of you, I think. Couple of other things I wanted to share about this, just come to mind, trust you just said that how important that is communication?Being clear about what your boundaries are. I mentioned on a previous show having kind of a green list, a yellow list and a Red List of like these are the activities, sexually speaking, that I love. I I almost always am in the mood for this and I love when my partner does these things blah blah blah. And and tell your partner that if you want to be like organized and structured about it, which I tend to be because I used to be an engineering and mathematics. So I'm like list, I'm a list person. I might actually have a list and actually tell my clipboard and we'll see what's on. These are all my green activities. Like, please feel free to liberally choose from column A, like just weave them into a sexual repertoire or you like. And then there might be some yellows that are like, you know, sometimes I'm in the mood for that or like maybe I might be in the mood, but I've never tried it. But like, I'm, I'm open to considering that but like, you always kind of need to ask me first. Or. Check, check in with me on it and then your red things would be like, no, don't even think about it. Like I personally don't ever want to be hung from the ceiling from my ankles, nor am I into blood you know, or poop being spread all over the place. So you know those are things that are like my no fly zone, right? I'm like no thank you, not going to happen animals. Also no people underage. Things are not going to happen, yeah, but you need to know like what your red zone is and your partners also, so having those conversations. On an ongoing basis is important. Knowing yourself, also knowing what your partner wants it needs and doesn't want to need, and keeping in mind that it could change over time. So don't be so rigid that you're like, Oh well, I never do X Well, maybe you never did X before, but maybe, maybe you weren't with the partner who ain't loves that and B is willing to do it in a way that really respects your boundaries, that really treasures you and moves at a pace. And with the appropriate supplies, whatever is needed. You know, Lube toys. And you might not have had, you might have had the visual stimulation, and you were excited by each other's bodies, but you may have not had the energetic connection and the communication and the trust and the emotional connections, you know, so it might be different. And then the last thought I was going to say is when I have enjoyed anal stimulation receiving it, it's almost always when I'm also receiving clitoral, I'm sitting here taking notes. Oh, he's, he was always like, what are you doing? He's writing on his palm of his hand, taking notes. OK, make sure the clit is getting stimulated. So if, because what happens is for me, there's this sort of blended, like happy space that's going on down there that's like everybody's happy. Like the clit is going and then maybe something's going on inside the vagina where there might be a finger, you know, or a toy or you know, whatever. And then something's happening down at the anal area. And but it's kind of like enough it's diffused enough that like my whole body's just kind of going, oh, it's like an intriguing mystery of experiences and sensations down here. Helps, just like with a man, it starts with like the penis or the tip of the penis. And then the ball is getting more extended than the perineum. And then it keeps spreading pretty soon from the tip of the penis, in my case, sometimes all the way down to the tips of my toes. You can just the whole area, like up the little backs of my legs, everything. It's just amazing. But if somebody tries to, you know, put a finger inside of me when I've just started sucking on me, for example, and do that, it's like, Nah, I'm not ready for that. It takes a long, long time. It might take half an hour to get to that point for me, So keep that in mind. And the other thing with a man too, do you want to speak at all, honey, about. The prostate and the stimulation in in the anus because anatomically speaking. There's like a certain angling just like for a female for the G spot where it's kind of like going up. Like if you're facing your partner going up and and and you know up toward the surface and kind of underneath where the testicles are inside, you know that that wall. And you know depending some some women, in my case my my prostate's a bit enlarged at this point in my life and so it's kind of hard. You can't really miss it and. By the way. If you were 30. So typically we have to sort of explore with your finger, maybe start with you know a finger before you move up to a toy or a cock or something. Just being aware that that that's where it is. It's kind of up behind where the balls are towards the the front, front wall, that's that's where the perineum or where the prostate is, which can be very stimulating and very erotic. By the way, I have been told by my doctor because I was asking about prostate stimulation because I was having some digestive issues and what not which were inflaming my prostate and he said if your prostate is inflamed. You should not be doing anal penetration. OK, so there. So in some medical situations it might be contraindicated, right? It might feel wonderful, but then you might be over stimulated. Excuse me, the prostate enough to Or then urinating might become almost impossible for a while, so that that can be an issue. Check with your, you know, medical with your own health and listen to your own body intuitively. So that's our message for you guys today and we'd love to hear what stood out for you. And Please remember to share the love. Out in public, you could get arrested. And no ifs, ands and buts about it, but there are some buts about it. So what is it about butts? They're so curvilicious and grabable. And I think Steve and I need to go now because we might have some other ideas. We might have some other ideas to experiment with. Yeah, you guys have a beautiful, sexy and sacred day. We'll see you next time. All right? And remember to use safe sex practices when you're getting sexy and sacred. Thanks for being part of our growing community at The Sexy and Sacred Joe. Please share the love, subscribe, leave us a five star review, and catch us next time at your favorite podcast platform. Until then, remember you are sexy and you are sacred.