Soulmates Part 1 (Why a Soulmate is NOT Enough—Manifest THIS Instead!)
Mar 29, 2024Season 1Episode 4
Sage Taylor Kingsley and Steve Gibbs
In this enlightening episode, Sage reveals some little known facts about soulmates, because all soulmates are not created equal, not every member of your soul family is suited to be a romantic and life partner for you, and a soul connection is not the only type of connection that is essential for a lasting, harmonious love on all levels.
Listen ... and Blissen!
In Soulmates Part 2, our next episode (#7), we'll be going deeper into the differences between Twin Flames and Soulmates, and another little-known kind of soulmate to avoid at all costs!
Please remember to download the show so you can listen to it as often as you like on your device ...
Stream and download all the Sexy & Sacred shows at:
We look forward to hearing from you what resonates most for you so please be sure to leave us a comment on our Facebook group or the YouTube channel.
The Sexy and Sacred Show! is the world's premier podcast where awakening women and men can deepen awareness of spirituality, sexuality, and sensuality to create a more passionate, joyous life of love.
SUBSCRIBE on YouTube and at your favorite podcast platform.
Please remember to download the show so you can listen to it as often as you like on your device.... Share the link and the love! Thank you!
The Sexy and Sacred Show is for SINGLES, COUPLES and everyone in between who desires to attract and create lasting soulmate love in a deeply connected love relationship that is passionate and compassionate and that supports your path of spiritual awakening.
On the path of conscious loving? You are warmly welcome to join our free Facebook group about spiritual relationships, heart-centered soulful intimacy, and creating higher love.
In this enlightening episode, Sage reveals some little known facts about soulmates, because all soulmates are not created equal, not every member of your soul family is suited to be a romantic and life partner for you, and a soul connection is not the only type of connection that is essential for a lasting, harmonious love on all levels.
Listen ... and Blissen!
In Soulmates Part 2, our next episode (#7), we'll be going deeper into the differences between Twin Flames and Soulmates, and another little-known kind of soulmate to avoid at all costs!
Please remember to download the show so you can listen to it as often as you like on your device ...
Stream and download all the Sexy & Sacred shows at:
We look forward to hearing from you what resonates most for you so please be sure to leave us a comment on our Facebook group or the YouTube channel.
The Sexy and Sacred Show! is the world's premier podcast where awakening women and men can deepen awareness of spirituality, sexuality, and sensuality to create a more passionate, joyous life of love.
SUBSCRIBE on YouTube and at your favorite podcast platform.
Please remember to download the show so you can listen to it as often as you like on your device.... Share the link and the love! Thank you!
The Sexy and Sacred Show is for SINGLES, COUPLES and everyone in between who desires to attract and create lasting soulmate love in a deeply connected love relationship that is passionate and compassionate and that supports your path of spiritual awakening.
On the path of conscious loving? You are warmly welcome to join our free Facebook group about spiritual relationships, heart-centered soulful intimacy, and creating higher love.
Welcome to the Sexy and Sacred Show with Sage and Steve, where sexuality, sensuality and spirituality meet to help you create a blissful relationship that enhances your spiritual path and raises your love vibration for personal and planetary transformation. This is Sage and I'm here with Steve, my beloved, and we want to talk to you about soulmates, but a lot more than that, what if we could show you that asking the universe to bring you a soulmate is not enough. And maybe that's why your relationships have not lasted or been as satisfying. We're harmonious or as effing awesome as they could be. And as you would like them to be. So, yeah. And so soulmates is kind of a buzzword, right? It's like, everybody's like, Oh, I want a soulmate, you know? And then there's all this buzz about twin flames lately. There's a lot of confusion, a lot of different perspectives on what these terms mean. We're going to talk about. This in two shows, at least two. So this one, and then the next show, we're going to talk about the types of soulmates, which is going to be really interesting. And today we want to explain why you need to ask the universe for more than just a soulmate and take a completely different, more holistic approach because you are not only a spiritual being, right? We're physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual beings. So here is the tip. Everybody lean in, listen up. I'm leaning. I'm leaning. Oh, not me. Okay. You want not just a soulmate and the right kind of soulmate, but you also want a body mate, a mind mate, and a heart mate, right? Don't you want someone who matches you? Who is on a similar level, a similar vibration, and with whom you get along amazingly well, the vast majority of the time, physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. Right? Amen what, if you look back at your life and we're going to do an exercise in just a few minutes, and you look back at your past relationships or your current relationship, You might notice a pattern or you might notice a few different patterns of where the relationship has been falling short. So we're going to jump right in with this. So go ahead and grab a piece of paper and a pen. We're going to do this the old fashioned way. If you want to do it electronically and get fancy, you can do that too. But first I want to give you a little bit more about what these different levels are. does that sound like it would be helpful?Yeah. And if, if they want to pause how well you take care of your body, how you treat money. how you operate on the physical plane, how grounded you are. Okay, so all of this taking care of your material belongings, your body, whether you take supplements, your eating, okay, all of this comes under physical .Yeah, do you smoke? Does your partner smoke? Exactly. Exactly. So how do you see your body? How do you treat your body? How do you operate your body in the greater context of your physical environment, right? And a lot of this comes down to, it doesn't mean you have to do everything the same way. A lot of times we are together to learn from each other. So just because there are differences, the capacity to do those things in your own way, and then discuss it with your partner and allow space for your partner to do things differently. And for them to make space for you to do things differently so that you both can learn from each other and grow from each other and be your, be yourself. Exactly. So some examples of mismatches, when we go back to the sex category, yay, that means a match sexually means not only that you match reasonably well in terms of libido, but Now, when I say that, I mean, overall in the big picture of the relationship, does a relationship have ups and downs because maybe somebody is not feeling well or they're under stress or they just had a baby or they just moved, you know, or, uh, they, they're having a flare up of some kind of condition like a yeast infection or something else. So, you know, whatever it is, right. Of course, there's going to be some ups and downs, but overall, you know, it's, it's, Overall, you have a reasonably close matching libido. So you don't want someone who's like asexual and really doesn't care if they're ever having sex with someone who wants to have sex, you know, twice a day. Right. That's going to be a mismatch. It's not that either of them are wrong. There's nothing wrong with anything along that sexual spectrum, as long as people are participating, communicating with mutual consent and respect. Right? But you want someone who's kind of similar and also kinkiness wise, creativity wise. Somebody who's like super creative and likes to be adventurous, like me and Steve yeah baby are probably not going to be with someone who's super vanilla, who's just like missionary, lights are closed. Let's get this over with in five minutes. So Steve and I were thrilled to find someone who. Is as kinky as we are, but, but not like insane about it. Like not like, you know, to us, like there's certain things like, I don't want to be hung from the ceiling, for example, but you know what I mean? Like we all have our kind of like, what we're comfortable with, what we're willing to grow and explore. And with the right partner, that's a great match. sexually you might actually get more creative and, you know, Be a bit more open minded and explorative, but you want to be at least kind of close enough that there's some sexual compatibility as well as being able to orgasm if that's important for you. But even more importantly, I think even more important than orgasms, which are very delicious. And the last time we counted, I had 30, was it 35 in one sex session? It was about 30, 35. Kind of hard to keep track. Yeah. So we're going to be talking more about, we will be talking about orgasms in future shows, but back to the project. Um, distracting myself, um, what you also want sexually is someone who is as generous of a lover as you are. So the whole thing about GGG, give as good as you get. If you are both givers, that's going to be some great fireworks, right? Because you want your partner to be satisfied. And if your partner wants you to be satisfied, that's great. Everybody wins. It's just amazing. You know, I don't want to turn it into a tit for tat. Well, I did the last time, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, Reality is you both want the other person to have pleasure. You both want to be there for your partner. So if you know your partner likes this and you like that, it's like, well, talk about communication. You know, set your, your boundaries, pick your battles, all that sort of stuff. But the reality is be there for your partner. and if you're with a partner that, you're being there for them, they are sometimes there for you. Sometimes not. That's something you really need to look at. Yeah, that can be done over time. It can snowball downhill and become. A train wreck. Yeah. Yeah. And a huge source of disconnection. So on your paper, right in your upper left quadrant, a B, which stands for body. And so give your, either the current relationship that you're in, if that's what you're assessing right now, or if you're not in a relationship, or if you just want to use this as kind of. A way of thinking about your past relationships or past patterns. You can pick one, you have to pick one relationship or it's just going to, mush and be unclear. So pick that one relationship that you're assessing right now and give a score from one to 10 with 10 being phenomenal off the charts. And what you're doing is you're not just thinking about the high points, the low points. You're talking about overall, how satisfied are you or were you with this person in terms of your physical compatibility? So go ahead and give a score for B. That's funny. I'm just thinking that. Okay. There we go. That's all the time you have. Yeah, that's right. So next category, M. You can write an M for mind in your quadrant to the right. It's okay if you wrote it below, nothing's going to blow up. Just write it somewhere. If it does, please do a video. Interesting. So M for mind. Okay, so what does it mean to have a good mental connection? It's not just about intelligence, although sapio, I'm a sapiosexual, I find intelligence very sexy. I have no judgment of people who are below average in intelligence because let's face it, there's got to be some people on that side of the bell curve. But I, I need to be with a partner who can understand me, who appreciates my sense of humor. Think about sense of humor. It doesn't work too well, right? If you were the partner and they don't get your jokes, doesn't that suck? That's not fun. No. It's like, if you have to keep explaining it and they're like groaning or you are funny as shit and your partner just. Doesn't have much of a sense of humor. Like some people are just pretty stoic and serious and somber. And they're just like, don't get it. So you want someone who you can kind of bring out the best sparkle in each other, both intellectually and sense of humor wise and creatively. I think that for me has been a key. I've had various degrees. Relationship where the sense of humor has been really compatible, uh, laughing at each other's jokes. And to me, being with someone and you spark each other to the point to where you're in tears, to me is really, really wonderful to be with someone that they're constantly just Groaning and not laughing at your jokes, rolling their eyes, and maybe one out of 20 things you say, they laugh at right. It's not fun. It's an indication that there is, there's a, there is a mismatch. Something's missing there. It's a buzzkill. Yeah, totally. And uh, Steve and I are goofy, like we're freaking goofy. So, and I'm not saying everybody has to be goofy. But I have to be with someone who isn't going to mind if I start making up a song about just some random thing in life, or I start skipping, you know, and, and Steve does this stuff too. He's like a total like, some people would say nutcase, but I think it's adorable. I'm just a nutbag. That's all. He does these voices. See what I mean? Like, I think it's cute. You know, I get, I kind of get off on it. So. It has to be a match there. I would say under the mind category, it's also stuff like culture and politics and like values, right? So it's kind of difficult when someone who's really progressive, someone who's really not, uh, they use the term conservative for that. It helps if you're at least somewhat close on the political value system there or your political beliefs. It helps if you match reasonably well in your political beliefs. Also cultural. You love going to museums. Your partner would rather be dead than go to a museum. You know, so you don't have to have a perfect, perfect, perfect, perfect match. That would be a 10, right? Cause that's maybe being with like someone who's like almost your mirror. If you're kind of between an eight, a nine and a 10 on all four of these quadrants, you're in a phenomenal relationship. So think about intellectually, mentally, how good of a connection do you have? Overall with this partner that you're thinking about. So that's mind. M Okay. Next is heart H. Now the heart connection is the emotion. And this is the in loveness. This is also compassion, kindness. Does this person process the world emotionally in a similar way that you do? Now, some people are like extremely emotional. It's kind of hard for them to be with someone who's Closed off with their emotions. Like just like Mr. Spock or something, you know, Mr. Spock was sexy, but like, I'm not really sure he'd make a great long term partner for someone who's not a Ms. Spock and he was even trying to learn how to. Process his emotions and express his emotions more and all that, you know, um, so Trekkies Unite! And I find that, being with someone who is Closed off emotionally. Oftentimes they're an avoidant in terms of their attachment style. And they're like disconnected from their emotions. And they, they can only go so deep in terms of a romantic. They're holding you a little bit at arm's length because it doesn't feel safe to them. And it's really not personal about you. It's about them. It's how they are. So you want to be with someone who, um, is a reasonable, good match in terms of emotion, emotional availability, emotional intelligence, open heartedness, kindness, being compassionate. Loving human. So go ahead and give a score for that relationship that you're thinking about from one to 10. All right, good. I love that you're being honest with yourself right now. I can feel that over here. Good job. You got to be right. You're not honest with yourself. What's the point? So next, now we're talking about spirit. Everybody says, Oh, I want a soul mate. I want a soul mate. I want a soul mate. Here's the thing. Not all soulmates are created equal. There are different types of soulmates. Soulmate means you have a strong spiritual connection with the person. By the way, not all your soulmates are romantic. You can have soul brothers, you can have soul sisters, right? And those relationships are extremely important in your life too. But with a soulmate who is a great romantic match and life , Partner for you and with you, you're going to feel that spiritual connection. And often you feel it immediately. And it's just like a recognition of, Oh, wow. It's almost like, wow, it's you again. Yes. Right. Yeah. And it's inexplicable and it's mysterious and it's magical and it's beautiful. So with a partner who is a great spiritual match, there's this sense of recognition, a feeling of. Instant familiarity and comfort, almost like, wow, it's you again, you know, whether you believe in past lives or not, there's this, this feeling of how do I feel like I know you so well, when I really haven't known you that long and it's mutual, both people feel this. And I would even say there's a sense of home. Yes. And I know. Both of us have had other, uh, soulmates in our lives. And what's interesting to me is I have been with someone that I feel very, very strongly connected to still, and I do feel love for. Still, and I feel a deep sense of connection and, and like, yeah, we've been together in multiple lifetimes, but it doesn't mean that we are a match to be in a physical relationship. Romantic it does mean yeah, a romantic partnership, but it can mean that that person is, has been very important in the past and you will still stay connected on a heart level, maybe through many, many lifetimes. And maybe even that person may have been a man in another lifetime, uh, versus a woman. Yeah. There are, there are different ways. It's just recognizing that, but realizing when you find a soulmate, it doesn't mean I've got to grab onto everybody who's a soulmate and jump into bed with them. Right. For example. Yeah. You need to step back and assess. Who is this person? And we start out to just be their friend and understand it well, before you go further with a relationship. Sometimes I feel that we marry our brother or sister. And we didn't realize it at the time. It's like our soul brother or soul sister, but we just feel so much connection and love and familiarity and comfort, um, that we feel like it should be a romantic and sexual thing. And so we try to make it into that. And sometimes we're even married to them. We live with them. We have children with them. We might be with them for a short time, or we might be with them for decades because the soul connection is very strong. But if you don't have a strong connection consistently in body and mind and heart, then the relationship, even with a strong soulmate is going to kind of run its course and not be something that has that long term. And, and consistent harmonious bliss to it consistently in both directions. So, and we'll talk more in the next show about the different types of soulmates. What we'd like you to do right now is go ahead and take a moment and think about that relationship. That you're assessing the love compatibility with, and what is your score on the soul or spiritual connection from one to 10 with that person? Cool. Now it's interesting, isn't it? The different patterns I, cause I've done this with clients, with students and myself and with partners. Um, and. What I've seen is sometimes you, especially if the heart connection is strong, like you were just talking about a previous partner. And certainly this has been true for both of my previous marriages. The heart connection was really strong. So I married these guys because. The heart connection was really strong. And with my second marriage, the soul connection was also really strong. My first marriage, the physical and sexual connection was, was really good. So it's like, but can you have it all in one person? And we're here to tell you, Yes. Oh yeah. Oh yes. You can have it all in one person. You're not going to have a 10, 10, 10, 10. And it's also not going to be a 10, 10, 10, 10, every single day or every single minute there are going to be ebbs. There are going to be flows, which is what we're not just looking for peaks and troughs. We're looking at the big. Picture right, but you can manifest into your life, a partner who is the right kind of soulmate for you more on that in our next show, who is also an emotional heartmate, a mental and intellectual mind mate. You get each other, the conversation sparkles, all of that. And a physical mate where you can enjoy life together as physical beings, as animals, as creatures who need food and touch and enjoy sexuality with one another. And maybe with yourself too. It's all good. So all of this can be yours. And no, it's not just 99. 99. We're not selling anything here. We just want to help you help yourself. Make these shifts, don't just ask the universe for soulmate, right? So do you want to ask the universe for a body, mind, heart, and soulmate? Absolutely. There's nothing wrong with that. You can do that. I also came up with a phrase. Some other people have used it. I don't know where it originated from, but I happen to like it. And I call it divine right mate. So ask the universe for your divine right mate, because God, goddess, great spirit, universe, highest self, angels, whatever terms you use there, knows. What that means, knows who that is, right? And there could be more than one soulmate embodied on planet earth right now. But when you work with your spirituality, with your intuition, with your discernment, with your self love, with your law of attraction, and you date consciously, and you co create relationship with these levels of awareness, you can understand. Yourself more deeply, your partner more deeply, and what it is that you are capable of co creating together. And I have a question for you, because I know for us, that's a lot of what prompted us to do this. podcast do as, as all of the podcast, the series of podcasts, so for, for us, there are things that have happened because we have this connection that are so deep that there are spiritual things. Uh, there are so many different things that have happened. It's mind blowing. It's just people. Almost can't believe it when you tell them because they don't have a frame of reference. We almost can't believe it except for we are witnesses for each other. Right. These amazing things do happen. I mean, we do like to share for, for you, you know, not the whole story, but. But a little bit about that. So people understand who gives a crap if I have this, why, why shouldn't I just settle for somebody who's a great body mate to hell with the rest of it, you know? So why would you say that this is so important? What do you, what do you feel? So that's a really great question. And I think we're going to go into more depth on that and some of the future shows, but for now, what I'd like to say is how important a spiritual connection is, is really going to depend on the person. I'm a very spiritual person. You're a very spiritual person. So to us, that is important. And you even included in your profile, you want to be with a partner who practices law of attraction, not just someone who heard about it or is like curious about it and certainly not someone who just, you know, disputes it. And. Dispels all of it, poo poo, you know, a bunch of crack, you know, whatever, like people don't create their reality with their mind when you're talking about energy, who cares, you know, right. But people who, someone who's on this path of like awareness and personal growth and consciousness and compassion and awakening. So whatever phrases you use for that, whatever path that looks like. Uh, people who are, for example, religious Christians, Jews, Muslims, Buddhists, whatever it is, that that is their path, they often want to be with someone who's on the same religious path, because it's so entrenched into their beliefs and their lifestyle. They want someone who will be reading the Bible with them. And there's nothing wrong with that. Who will be Or the Quran or the Talmud or whatever it is, who, you know, if that's your path, you probably want to be with someone who's on a similar path with that, because otherwise it's too difficult to have a commonality in lifestyle, let alone beliefs and mutual respect. Um, I am. A little bit of this, a little bit of that with my spirituality, right? So I believe in angels. I'm kind of pagan and shamanic and I hug trees. I listen to rocks. I collect crystals. I believe in stargazing and angels. And, you know, some of you might be familiar with some of my work, channeling to divine right mother, channeling Archangel Michael, for example. I can't be with a partner who thinks I'm crazy for doing all that, right? But nor do I have to have a partner who does those things. I don't expect them to be the same. I wouldn't really even necessarily want to be with someone who does exactly the same things as me, but at least there's a sense of mutual respect and there's a space for some kind of spiritual path or practice together. So Steve and I might say a prayer together. Steve does these beautiful spiritual mind treatments, which we'll be sharing with you down the road. And when I need, uh, a mental, emotional, spiritual reset, I ask Steve to help me. And likewise, he asked me to help him. I've taught him Reiki, attuned him with Reiki. And so we each come in with different skills, with different talents, and we help each other. So we're stronger together. There's a synergy that happens,and theres a deep respect for each other's path. So, so your partner's path doesn't have to look exactly like yours, but they need to respect your path. You respect their path. And there's enough of a zone where you can be spiritual and consider things spiritually and even do spiritual stuff together that works for you. And we have absolutely created. Amazing magic together we have, and when it comes down to it, some of that is physical, which we've talked about sex magic in the past, but from the spiritual perspective, we have had amazing miracles. Sage has had channeling come to her, we've had mutual experiences, we're both lying together, and I'm seeing a bright light. Feeling this energy coming over me, we're not even awake yet, lying in bed, and all of a sudden, she comes, uh, Sage comes up with, like, I think we've gone into it now, we can go into it later, but anyway, mutual things happen, so because of the compatibility there, and because of the level of connection that we have, a lot of magic, a lot of Commonalities, there's all kinds of things that happen throughout our lives, uh, that we know what the other person is going to think and on and on and on and on and on. It's just, it's unbelievable. Neither of us knew that this was even possible. Absolutely. So that's, we also recognized it immediately and it's strong and, and just. Banding and incredible. And a couple of other just little things to consider with your right person, your divine right mate. You may even finish each other's sentences, read each other's minds. And you may also be called, like Steve and I are, to do something with your purpose, with your right livelihood, with your creativity, some way of serving the world collaboratively. Synergistically, collectively creating something. And it might be ways that your partner's skills and passions kind of fit as a complimentary fitting with, with yours. So, um, consider that, that that might also help clue you in. About this relationship that you're assessing, whether it's one that you're in or someone that you're considering dating or someone from your past. So you might notice patterns. Maybe the last three relationships you've been in, all of them were not enough of a body mate. Or maybe they weren't enough of a mind mate or a heart mate or something. Or maybe you've stayed in relationships where you have a lot of like four or five, six kind of thing going on where you're like, you know, yeah, you know, it was okay, but not phenomenal. Yeah, so take a look at your patterns and what we'd love for you to do is if you're watching this on YouTube right now, we'd love for you to go ahead and subscribe and like, and then leave us a comment about what stood out for you in this show. What did you just learn? What questions do you have? How are you going to apply this? And put in the comment, I subscribed and we will do our very best to personally respond one or both of us to personally respond to every one of your comments. Just put in that comment. I subscribed. And we will look for that when we're responding to comments. And thank you so much for the opportunity to share this with you. Go ahead and share the show and thank you for being you. And in our next show, we're going to be talking about the different types of soulmates. People use that word, like it's a blanket thing. Like there's only one thing. There are numerous types of soulmates, including one you do not want to be with. Exactly. Very important to know you want to avoid one of those, like the fricking plague. You don't want to be with one of them. And I'm going to share a story with you about that. So we'll see you next time. And thanks very much. Thank you for being part of our growing community at the sacred and sexy show. Please share the love, subscribe, leave us a five star review and catch us next time at your favorite podcast platform. Until then. Remember, you are sexy and sacred.