Hi writer. Welcome. Today, I want to talk about what a book coach is because it's a relatively new term in the writing industry.
So, what is a book coach, and when should a writer invest in one? I get this question a lot, and for good reason, but coaching is a relatively new profession. There are gaps in the publishing industry, and they're growing wider with time. As the publishing market grows more competitive and crowded, agents and editors have less time to nurture writers.
Agents are less inclined to take on a project that has potential but needs work. They want a novel, they can sell—the faster, the better. Because that's how they make their living. So, in today's publishing landscape, it's more important than ever for a writer to present the best possible version of their manuscript for consideration. Now, for writers who choose to self-publish, they don't have the power of the built-in editing team behind them that a traditionally published author would, and they have to produce work that is just as excellent in order to compete for their share of the market.
New writers who aspire to write a novel often struggle to find their footing, wondering where to begin. Do they go back to school for a writing degree? Do they take a creative writing class? Or perhaps invest in one of those online writing courses?
A book coach can help fill all those gaps.
So, what is a book coach?
It's someone who loves story, loves books, and loves helping writers. They can step in at any point along the writing journey, planning, drafting, revising, or even pitching. They are trained to provide professional, informed, editorial feedback and clear steps on what to do next to strengthen the manuscript or story idea. They support and guide writers through the emotional rollercoaster of writing a novel they understand the publishing industry. And can help guide writers on how to best reach publishing goals. They work with writers in a spirit of compassion and personal growth.
They are 100% invested in the story and in the development of the writer. They also provide the accountability and structure they coach, teach, cheerlead, and help you avoid matches and dumpster fires.
I can think of no better way to show you what, working with a book coach is like then by letting you in on a conversation I had with my client, Monique, Monique graciously allowed me to interview her on how book coaching has impacted her writing. I hope you enjoy it.
Stacy:
Hi, Monique. Thank you so much for joining me today.
Monique:
Hi, Stacey. Thank you for having me.
Monique is a client of mine. She's a fantasy author currently working on a young adult fantasy novel. Today, she's agreed to come on and do an interview with me to discuss how working with a book coach impacted her writing. I am so grateful to you for doing this. It's just wonderful to see you.
Monique:
It's good to see you too. I'm so grateful for you coming into my life because we both know where I'd be if you hadn't.
Stacy:
Would you tell us How and when your writing journey began?
Monique:
I started writing songs when I was five. I specifically remember because it was a terrible song that I memorized for like years and I won't sing it now. And then I started doing stories. I think when I was a kid, when I was eight, nine and then I started seriously writing in like middle school, high school.
I won some awards. I wrote some then and in college and then I just, it kind of stayed like a, like something I kind of done on the side as an adult. So I've been writing for a really long time.
Stacy:
Did you pursue writing when you were in school and in college or did you pursue something else?
Monique:
I didn't pursue writing in college, no. I wanted to but I think like a lot of us I didn't follow my heart so much as I followed my brain. But I did, I did work it into my career anytime I got a chance to and still do today.
I think that says that's true for a lot of us that we have that desire, but for whatever reason, you know, didn't didn't pursue it then.
Stacy:
So when in your writing journey, did you become serious about, writing a book?
Monique:
Honestly couldn't tell you when I started. Becoming serious about writing my first book or pursuing my first idea for a book. But for this current one, probably about five years ago is when I started with the idea.
Stacy:
And what beliefs did you have about your storytelling and your writing abilities when you first started noodling that story around?
Monique:
I think the one, the biggest one that like really impacted the way I showed up for that book was. That it had to be a very, closeted pursuit, that it had to be something that I did on my own, that I didn't tell anyone about, that I didn't talk about, that I didn't bounce off of other people. Now that I think about it, I like let no light in on it for four years, and I just thought it had to be a really solo pursuit, and there's nothing wrong with that, and I still have aspects of that now, because, because I've learned how to honor part of that as part of my process, but back then, it was more like, it was more fear based, and I was never gonna be okay with that book actually being out in the world.
It was always gonna be in my head. Or on my personal Google drive where no one else could get it.
Stacy:
Can you speak to some of the thought processes that kept you thinking you weren't comfortable with this story really being in the world?
Monique:
Yeah I've done so much work around getting myself out of that headspace that it's been a while since I've been there, but for me, writing is a very personal thing. I'm not really sure why I felt like it had to be something that I.
I didn't want to be on the world. I know a lot of it is probably what everyone is afraid of, right? Like rejection and someone telling you that you're not as good at it as you thought you were. I think the biggest thing for me probably is that it's something that felt so good. And it lit me up so much that I was afraid that outside commentary would mess that up for me.
Stacy:
What were some of the other major challenges that you faced when it came to actually writing your story?
Monique:
I think a lot of challenges that I didn't realize I was having on the technical side and you know this, I'm the conflict queen now, but I was like, not before I just like would write. And everything would be great. All my characters would be perfect. They would have no issues to overcome. Nothing bad would happen. And I, I don't remember how you put it, but you were just like, I don't think that's a story. Nothing unfolds. I was like, damn, you're right.
Building conflict into the plot was a challenge for me. I just didn't have it pointed out until I worked with you. My favorite thing to do is build characters, getting outside of my characters' heads. Looking at my story objectively as a reader was a challenge for me because my favorite thing is to be inside my characters' heads.
And so I spent a lot of time there and I needed to learn to spend more time outside of there. And then I think consistency and that's, that's probably number one, like on average for everyone, right? Consistently writing, consistently just like making your ass hit the chair for 30 minutes a day or whatever you need to do.
That was definitely something big and I, and I, I have a suspicion that one reason that that's a huge issue for a lot of writers, especially if they like don't feel comfortable calling themselves writers or don't tell people about their writing or don't talk about it out loud is that like, you know, they don't feel comfortable as writers yet. And so they're not totally committed to doing that. And I'm sure that was true for me.
Stacy:
When did you feel like it was time to get help with your story?
Monique:
In 2021, I had put more work into it than I had in a long time. And that just kind of grew my determination to really push it forward. It was just hard because I didn't know how or in what way I really wanted to push it forward. But, yeah, that year I just really put my best foot forward with how I had developed thus far.
And then I think I just started talking about myself as a writer more to friends and family. That led to friends putting their feelers out and thinking on my behalf when they looked on social media, and that's actually how I found you because my best friend found your best friend.
And it was a start. I think that's what we don't give ourselves enough credit for as writers the start is the most important part.
Stacy:
I think a lot of people don't appreciate how much writing is done off manuscript.
There are things that we just have to write. In order to find the story and, I've gone through that experience where I finished the book and I feel like I should just start writing the next one but there's so much I need to know and so much I need to noodle through and that takes time and sometimes that takes.
Some free writing and some, and sometimes that takes writing things like prologues that aren't really prologues. And writing out scenes of what happened to characters when they were children that set them up to live their life in a misguided way at the beginning. And that's why I always say like, No words are ever wasted. They all will lead somewhere if you maintain consistency, if you stick with it, and if you have an overarching plan.
Monique:
I think that's one of the things that one of your Stacey sayings that I have tons of like little sticky notes on that always stays with me. No words are wasted because I used to be very hard on myself about that. Like I'm just supposed to fill this blank page with perfect words and perfect grammar and perfect plot. And it's just like. Who do you think you are? No one does that. So, that's, that was really helpful for me. That idea that no words are wasted.
Stacy:
I mean, so many assumptions when I first started writing fiction. And one of those assumptions that it should be easy. And then the second assumption is that it was easy for other people and there was something wrong with me and that isn't true. There's nothing wrong with you, no matter where you're starting.
There's nothing wrong with you. This is just difficult. It's incredibly fun. It's rewarding, but it's also just very difficult. We're creating people. We're creating worlds. We're creating situations for the point. Of telling a tale with a satisfying ending. That's a lot so, it's just hard.
And nobody does it perfectly. I look at my shelf and sometimes I'll say to writers. I'm like, okay, so Riddle me this. What does Stephen King and Lieber do go and Wilbur Smith and Victoria Aveyard and there were some other writers I have in here with me Susan Collins What do they all have in common those people write? In totally different genres.
What do they all have in common?
They write one word at a time. They write stories one word at a time. You know, they put their pants on just like we do.
No words are ever wasted, and there's nothing wrong with you.
And the most important thing, really, it doesn't matter where you start, as far as, like, experience level, or anything like that. What matters is that you do start, and that you enjoy it, and that you continue.
What concerns did you have about working with a book coach?
Monique:
My biggest concern was like the loss of that safe space that I'd created. I remember being crazy terrified when you asked me to send you something.
I was like, do I have to like, is there any way that we could do this without you reading it, but of course there wasn't. That was my biggest fear. In terms of concern, and I still have a little bit of this I think it's important that probably all writers do have a little bit of this when they're protecting their work, but like I'm very careful about showing other people my work just because I'm a very, very big gut writer.
I go with my gut on everything. Plot structure, characters, every piece of it has to feel like it fits to me before I am ready to say it's done.
I am always afraid that like, if I show my stuff to someone that they'll like encroach on that or they'll pressure me to go along with their thoughts.
I think you should always be your biggest judge of when something's finished or when something's good. But Stories are made for people. And so I think it's important to, let people see them and let them breathe.
And I think that you taught me to do that. And to trust that no matter what comments you get, you can still be the final judge on it. You don't have to change your stuff all around just cause someone says something. And you can stick to your strategy and that's why you make a strategy. So that you don't go all willy nilly when people give you input.
So I think that was probably my biggest fear. I was just really afraid to trust someone to come into my process and to possibly alter my process.
Stacy:
I think that is so relatable to so many people. Our stories are, they're sacred. They're a piece of our soul.
At least I think they are, and, and they're vulnerable, and they're personal. So it's a sacred space to enter with a writer, to be in the creative process with them.
Monique:
I think when you write, when you're making up stories and making up people, even if you don't realize you are, you're being very vulnerable. You know, you're putting your thoughts and feelings and beliefs and everything on paper, even if you're not saying them explicitly, and especially if you're not a person who's used to sharing those kinds of things with other people, or you're just scared of sharing them with people you don't know.
It's scary, even if it's through characters who aren't you
Stacy:
That's why I call it Write It Scared. Because you have to, you know, the process can be very scary. And I think that the key is looking at the pieces of the process you're afraid of and getting down to the causes and conditions of what's really holding you back.
And asking is it worth it, is it worth it for me to step out and take risk? And it usually is because the fears are not; they're just the expectations that we have of things that will happen. We don't know for sure. We don't have a crystal ball. And so, yeah, finding and cultivating that inner safety to be able to continue, right, to put the words on the page, to be brave and share them with somebody, and also to trust your internal compass that you know what's right for you regardless
Monique:
What's funny, though, is that my biggest fear was that letting someone in would change my process and stunt my growth, but opposite happened. I think letting the right person into my process allowed me to grow even further and expand beyond what I was comfortable with.
But now I am still comfortable, but I'm comfortable with more. And you don't see that possibility until later.
Stacy:
We stretch and we grow and we change and sometimes that friction is good too. It's good to have other perspectives.
What made you decide to hire me?
Monique:
Your method of figuring out if you and the writer are right fit for each other is really good. Your method of taking an actual sample and reading through it and giving feedback and almost giving like a preview of what it's like. It's really, really helpful for me to like be able to go through that emotional situation and see how I feel about it.
I felt like you'd be someone who pushed me to try things. Nothing that was going to like hurt me, but just like try and see what happens. And then getting that chance to like see what your feedback process and like how you gave feedback. That was really, that was really helpful for me.
You have to think, is this coach going to like guide me and show me what worked and what did not work and why, and how I can determine that on my own going forward and how I can change as I go. You need someone who's going to be like a strategist for your book and. And you don't know that if you've never had a coach likely.
Stacy:
That is a really good analogy, like a strategist, someone to strategize with.
Monique:
But if you've never even been your own strategist for your book, you don't know to look for that in a coach. You, I think your first thought is, I just really hope she likes it or I really hope it's not complete crap. I really hope she like validates that it's okay that I'm spending time writing and I shouldn't just like, hang it up.
I hope she doesn't validate those worst fears that I have. I think that's probably what many of us are thinking if we don't share our work. I'm sure that was what I was thinking, but, but yeah, I think like natural talent is great, but consistency and doggedness and hard work is going to win every time because you're always going to grow.
And if you have a good coach, no matter where you are writing at that time, because now I think I went back and looked at what I sent you a year ago and. I was like, God, it's those other things are always going to win against that. You're always going to get better because you have a path forward and you know how to. And someone who can like help you stay inspired along the way. If you get discouraged and you're like F this strategy, . It's nice. It's nice to have a partner who's going to remind you of the pieces that are really important and why it's important and why you want to write this and why what you're feeling right now is not the biggest deal in the world and it's okay, like, or you can take a pause if you need to, but keep going, you know, that partnership is really, really invaluable.
It really is.
Stacy:
And sometimes we come up to places in our story that's It's hard to write personally, especially the closer we are to that, that main character or, to whatever character, if we identify with them closely in some way it's kind of gets a little dangerous, you know, our brain starts to think that this, this might mean this may hurt us.
You can tell cause the writing starts to get more distant. And so sometimes that's a place to know that, okay, we need to slow down here. And either look at this and see how sensitive this is or come back to it later. Yeah, so it's a lot of meeting people where they are.
Monique:
And guiding people to meet themselves where they are.
Stacy:
Yeah. Writing is oftentimes facing yourself. Back when I started, it was like, well, you just write a book, just write a story, you know, but actually the writer has two jobs: they have to write the story they want to tell to the best of their ability. And they have to figure out how to rewrite the internal story that's been holding them back.
What would you say has changed about your writing and your storytelling since we worked together?
Monique:
I think a few things. One, I have a lot more confidence in my ability to approach my writing from, like, more of a multi faceted, to have more of a multi faceted approach. I can think about strategy and plot structure and character development. I can think about all of those things at once as I'm writing and I'm building things out and I trust myself to do it.
At the same time that I rely on my gut and I feel out if things feel good or not. And before I didn't have that, I didn't have that trust. And I think that's really crucial for your foundation if you're going to actually move forward. I think you move forward more quickly and more assuredly, when you can do that, and that's just something that's got to be built. And I'm just a lot less afraid to share my, my writing with other people because it's just not the end of the world. If I do, and as you know,, I joined a writer's group this year.
I talked to you about it first just to like run through it because I was terrified, but I did. And that's been really wonderful. Even if you're just bringing short stories or whatever, it's just, it keeps you in the habit of writing and it gets you in the habit of talking to other people about it.
And it also develops your critique skills. And so, I think just being more open, period, and being a lot more confident in my ability to shape something that matters and that can affect other people and can talk about real things. I think that's the biggest change.
Stacy:
That almost makes me cry.You're a walking demonstration. That's, that's really what it is. I mean, you're a demonstration of somebody who's moving forward after what they want and has a lot more global view of how to do it.
Monique:
You helped me do that.
Stacy:
Well, it was totally my pleasure.
What advice would you give to another writer you know, who had a situation similar to yours? Big story, a lot of resistance, a lot of fear holding them back. What advice would you give?
Monique:
I think my first piece of advice would be to ask yourself some really critical questions and be as honest as you can about them. I would ask yourself where you think your fear is coming from and what you think you're really afraid of. And I'd also ask yourself what are the worst things that could happen if you shared your story with anyone.
If someone gave you a piece of negative feedback. If what you thought was true about your story isn't. I'd make a list of the worst possible outcomes. That you can, your brain can come up with and then I think about what do you think would happen if they happened with the world burned down?
Would you lose all confidence? Would you never want to type again or write? What realistically would happen? And is it as scary as your brain thinks it is? And I think what was really important for me, and I don't think I even got there until a couple of months after we started working together, is even if those things do happen, and they do end up being really, really scary, is it worth, like, stopping, even if it happens?
Like, even if someone says, this sucks, are you still, like, if someone says it sucks, do you no longer want to write? Or do you still want to do it because you still like it or you still love it or you still want to figure out what happens? I think a lot of times, at least for me, fears stop me in my tracks, and I just don't go forward.
I don't think about the fact that even though I'm afraid of this thing, I still really want to do it. And if that's true for you then I think I would suggest that you consider what you need to keep going forward. If you find that you do still want to go forward, if those things were to happen and the world didn't burn down.
What do you need? Do you need support? Do you need to like slowly get a little braver at letting people read things? What is that? What do you think you need? And then go from there.
Stacy:
That is a really important takeaway, is paying attention to what's going on underneath the action that you're taking, underneath the thought, that is, that is fueling it. So, and that's a big part of my process when I work with writers and what you were telling me, I was thinking like, I think I had her do the assignment where we're evaluating what do you want? What are your, what's your ultimate wants? What's your, but I want to, but I want to write this book, but looking at what that bud is, right?
Monique:
I still have that document too. And I look back at it.I mean, and it was totally grueling when I had to do it. I was like, Stacy, God, but it was just like,
Stacy:
I think you kind of ghosted me for three or four days.
Monique:
It wasn't ghosting people. It was. Process.
Stacy
You were in process. I understand. Yeah. What do you want? What's holding you back?What's the butt? What's the justification behind the butt? And what's really underneath that?
And like you said, that means what is the worst thing you think is going to happen? And so that's looking at your expectations and oftentimes they're false. I like the saying that FEAR is: false expectations appearing real.
And so our brain is going to protect us. From pain, right? We expect the worst case scenario and the worst case scenario is going to be painful. Is it really true though? Do we know that? And so the answer is no, we don't know. We don't have a crystal ball. So, when you have that thought, you get to ask yourself, does this serve me?
Because our thoughts become actions. And you know, if we're leaning into unhelpful internal narratives. The actions that we take will be in opposition of what we want. It's learning how to examine those internal and unhelpful narratives, and then changing them to what we want to be true, what could be true, what is true.
Monique:
And you literally made me do that too. You know what, now that I think about it, maybe I did ghost you. I, you literally rephrased them into like what I want it to happen, what I want it to be true. And I, I mean, and also I was ghosting myself, right.
I think it's scary answering your deepest fears.
Stacy:
But when fear comes up like that and it slams you in your face and it puts the brakes on, it's trying to keep you safe.
And sometimes it's that's necessary and you're supposed to listen, you know, don't don't touch hot fire, whatever, right? But, you know, up here cannot differentiate between real threat and perceived threat. We have the same physiological responses to it.
And that is the key is to examine for the truth and write the story that you want to be true for yourself. You're the only one that can. The permission has to come from here. And it takes time to build that.
Monique:
It does, and that's so true. I feel like I have that permission now. Writing feels a lot more spacious when you give yourself that permission. I think one of the biggest things that I got from working with you is just becoming more comfortable, for lack of a better word, with writing while you are scared.
I think a lot of the coaching was lots of different reiterations of you're scared. That's fine. Keep going. You're scared. That's fine. You're scared. Take a break. That's fine. Keep going. Like it's like. This little thing is a, this fear, is something that's built into you.
It's never going to be completely gone, but if you don't learn to do what you love with it in the passenger seat or the backseat or whatever, you will never do it, and you have to build that muscle.
Stacy:
Hey writer. So that's about the end of the interview. And I hope you can see that a big part of
writing is just learning to sit with uncertainty and discomfort. And finding ways to work through the self-doubt. And Monique's story is a beautiful demonstration of that. Thank you again, Monique, for being willing to share.
So, if you are facing uncertainty, if you feel shaky about your writing just know there is nothing wrong with you. Every writer feels this on some level. The key is starting and continuing and remembering to find your joy in it. Because if you don't have that, then what is the point?
Resistance is always going to come up, but one of the ways we can work through it is by being in community with other people that we trust. Writing a novel is an inside job, but we do not have to do it alone. If you are interested in learning more about working with me as a book coach, please go to my website https://www.writeitscared.co/