Overcoming the Inner Critic by Tapping Into Your Inner Writer's Wisdom

In episode nine of the Write It Scared podcast, we discuss our common writing enemy, the inner critic, and how it can derail us and what we can do to prevent that from happening.

I share an example of a writer who’d made great progress yet struggled with self-doubt to the point it nearly stopped them. 

We dig into the importance of tapping into one's inner wisdom to combat the critic and offer strategies to counteract that negative internal voice. We highlight the necessity of self-awareness, good habits, self-love, and gratitude and share tips for cultivating a relationship with one's inner writer's wisdom, including getting still, journaling, and asking for guidance. 

While the inner critic will never fully disappear, writers can learn to control its influence by fostering their inner wisdom, thus becoming their best allies in their writing journey. 

Lastly, I talk about my small group coaching programs as an option for writers seeking community, guidance, and support as they plan and draft their novels.

00:00 The Struggle with the Inner Critic

00:35 Overcoming the Inner Critic with Inner Wisdom

01:09 A Personal Story of Battling the Inner Critic

03:45 Introducing the Concept of Inner Writer's Wisdom

05:23 Practical Tips for Cultivating Inner Wisdom

06:32 Conclusion: Embracing Your Inner Wisdom

Group Coaching: Novel Planning and Drafting Support with certified book coach Stacy Frazer of  Write It Scared 

Recommended Reading: Playing Big: Practical Wisdom for Women Who Want to Speak Up, Create, and Lead by Tara Mohr 

This show note contains an affiliate link to bookshop.org. If you purchase a book through this link, I may make a small commission at no additional cost to you, and part of the proceeds will go toward supporting a local indie bookstore!

Transcript

 Hey writer. Welcome back to episode eight of the Write It Scared podcast. Today is a solo show and we're going to talk about the inner critic and how to overcome it by tapping into your inner writer's wisdom

As writers, we often discuss the painful struggle of dealing with our inner critic. We are constantly looking for ways to silence that internal writing bully, you know, the voice I'm talking about. 

It's the pushy one that says some version of this is not good enough. And for most of us, this is a pretty constant battle. And if we're not careful, it can be paralyzing and we're still, it can make us discount all of our progress. 

So I want to share a story with you. One of the writers in my small group, but coaching programs recently shared how they'd been making great drafting progress. Brilliant. In fact, And they still felt insecure. They had been on a solid writing streak, having written every day since November of 2023. And yes. 

At the time of this recording, we're in Spring of 2024. I know every single day. Now, some days it was only a sentence and some days it was a paragraph, some days more. And I'm not saying that your writing progress needs to look like that. That's just what was working for this writer. 

So to each their own. So anyway, this writer was really proud of their daily writing habit as they should be, but cue the inner critic. Poking through the happiness and pride of their drafting progress were doubts, big doubts, and the inner critic screamed “Of course, you're making progress because you're not doing it right. There's no depth. It sucks. Anyone can write every day. If the words are shit. And it's probably so bad. You'll never fix it.”

 Ouch right. Also relatable. 

I catch myself thinking similar things all the time. 

How about you?  

They shared that this fight was constant, and it was getting uglier. They could quiet the inner critic for a short while, but it always came back often stronger than before. They asked me if fighting the inner critic ever goes away.  And I said no. At least not in my experience. But then I thought we could get better at dealing with it and catching the unhelpful thoughts and behaviors that follow. And that the more we practice self-awareness and leaned into healthy habits, the more efficient we could become at getting back to the work that truly matters.

I've been reflecting on this conversation for a few weeks now, and though I wasn't wrong, I missed an opportunity to share the other half of the equation that day. It's not just about self-awareness or good habits. It's also about learning to become your greatest ally by practicing self-love, gratitude for your efforts, and comforting yourself when it gets hard so that you can move forward. It's about becoming your own cheerleader. 

Mel Robbins, whom I love, has this saying: “No one is coming.”  And it's true. We can get all the outside help in the world, but at the end of the day, the onus is on us to pull the trigger, to take the leap into uncertainty. No one can do this for you, but you don't have to do it alone. 

And here's what I want you to know: the voice of the critic isn't the only voice inside that you have access to. There's another, a calm, supporting voice, which is much quieter. This voice is our inner knowing, our inner mentor. However, you'd like to put it and shouting, shouting is not their style. So, some of us don't even know it exists until it's pointed out. I didn't know, I had a voice like that inside of me until I was shown.

 So, if you feel the same, then perhaps this is your sign.  When we get quiet, we can still find it.  It's they're filled with grace and wisdom and guidance to help us through the hard times. 

All we need to do is learn how to access it and turn up the volume on our mental radio station. 

I learned about this voice a few years ago when I read Tara Moore's book, Play BIG: Practical Wisdom for Women Who Want to Speak Up, Create, and Lead. I highly recommend it to help you find and cultivate a relationship with your inner writer's wisdom who knows your next right step and will hold your hand as you take it. And though this book is aimed at women, anyone would benefit. So take what you like and leave the rest. It will also help you understand what your inner critic is trying to do, which is keep you safe from taking risks that could expose you to dangerous things like harsh criticism or judgment

And as you can see from my client's story, the one way the inner critic accomplishes your safety is by doling out its own brand of very harsh internal judgment. 

So dear writer, your inner critic is just a big old scaredy cat that roars loudly to keep the threats away. 

That is its job.

Tapping into your inner writer's wisdom will soothe the beast and help you view it with a sense of compassion. 

So here are some tips to help you find and cultivate this inner wisdom.

Number one. Get still quiet your body and your mind in whatever way works for you. And imagine yourself years down the road as the wise knowing, kind version of yourself, you wish to become. And then imagine meeting them and getting to know them. 

Number two. Ask your inner writer questions, share your struggles, and ask for guidance. 

Number three. Write about it. Spend a few minutes journaling about the experience of meeting your inner mentor and how they responded to you. How did it feel? What did you learn?And as I did, I bet you'll find you already know the answers. Your inner critic was just being so loud and distracting that you couldn't pay attention to the wisdom. 

Number four. Practice tuning in and adjusting the volume between your inner critic and your inner writer's wisdom. And when you get stuck, turn inside and ask your questions. As with improving our writing craft, toggling between the two voices is a lifelong job. An inside job. And it's a learning process. So approach it with curiosity and openness and see where it takes you because, ultimately, what will it hurt to try?

I hope this episode affirms to you that self-doubt is normal, but it doesn't have to stop you from writing your story. And one of the best things you could do when facing the stack and feeling frozen. When that inner critic is screaming is to reach out to others whom you trust to normalize and validate the feelings and then apply perspective and tools to help you find your inner wisdom. So you can become your own best ally and move forward.

Practice cultivating that calming inner voice and increasing its volume. As you simultaneously decrease the volume on the inner critic, knowing the critic will never go away, but stand solid in the knowledge that you are the one who gets to control the settings on your mental radio station.

 If you are looking for community, guidance, and support to help you reach your writing goals while simultaneously learning to turn down the volume on the inner critic and tap into your inner writer's wisdom. 

Consider my small group coaching programs for writers in story development and drafting. I’ll post a link to the service in the show notes for you to check out.

Thanks for tuning in today, and I'll see you next time. 

 Thank you for listening to the Write it Scared podcast. If you enjoyed today's show, please make sure to hit the follow button so you never miss an episode. And please leave a review. Reviews help other writers like you find the voices and messages they need to hear to continue to write their stories.

Let's lift each other up. Remember, you can be scared and still be unstoppable. I'll see you next week.