In this episode of Testimony Tuesday, Ronald introduces a powerful personal story of overcoming the devastating effects of narcissistic relationships. He, who encountered multiple narcissists throughout their life, starts with the emotional and mental abuse inflicted by their mother, which set the stage for further abusive relationships. He discusses how his mother's manipulation and selfishness affected his personal and marital relationships. Despite these challenges, he shares how his faith helped him recognize the toxic patterns and begin to heal. The episode concludes with a message of hope and encouragement, urging listeners to find strength in their own journeys of faith.
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Introduction to Narcissism
Welcome to Testimony Tuesday, your weekly podcast for inspiring stories of faith and transformation. I'm your host, and each week, we invite believers to share their personal journeys and encounters with God. Whether you're looking to strengthen your faith, find encouragement, or discover how others have walked through challenges with grace and trust in the Lord, this is the place for you.
So, let's begin. Take a moment to quiet your heart and open your mind as we dive into today's powerful testimony. Let's find strength and inspiration together as we draw closer to God. Are you ready? Let's begin.
Overcoming Narcissism
There are countless stories of people who have suffered at the hand of a narcissist. Some could see something was off but was unable due to the control of the narcissist to act. Others were completely unaware of the cycles of destructive behaviors there were in believing the narcissist truly cared and loved them. Completely in darkness of who this person truly was and their intentions towards them.
There are many for years who've experienced the traumatic consequences of a narcissist's tactics and have struggled to recover, while others have managed to find their way out of the black hole they found themselves engaged in.
Personal Story Begins
I also have a story, I've experienced the devastating effects of this diabolical behavior. My story has a unique component to it. I've experienced overwhelming traumatic and devastating consequences because of not one, not two, not three but multiple narcissists. My entire life was governed by these diabolical entities.
Three were three primary culprits and a few minor ones. Each presenting unique repercussions that were designed to corrupt and destroy me. I suffered physically, mentally and emotionally due to their schemes of ruin. I was completely unaware, one this is common and two, there's a underlying reason why these types of individuals were commonplace in my life. Not only that, I've had the experience of the the two types of narcissist. Malignant and covert.
The First Narcissist: My Mother
My story begins from birth. My mother was the first narcissist in my life. She set the tone for how my life would manifest. Her treatment of me was demanding, cruel, unloving, and centered on what her needs and desires were. She was the underlying reason why in my life it was common for me to encounter these types of people. Because of my upbringing I was unable to see patterns of destructive behavior because I'd been conditioned to accept the treatment I'd received.
Because of not receiving her love growing up I was placed in a position of seeking love in other places, i.e., a woman. It also caused me to continually seek her love by subjecting myself to her demands whether I wanted to do them or not. I found myself becoming her slave for whatever her needs and wants were.
Manipulation and Control
Even when she had a man, I was the one she turned to to solve her issues.
Even into my adulthood it continued. I was never able to recognize her lack of caring for my needs and wants. Everything was always her complaint about whatever was wrong and my need to solve it. Though she never said anything good to me or about me without an ulterior motive behind it I never saw who she truly was. I was so consumed with needing and wanting love that that's what drove me. That kept me dependent on her or as I now know, her sucking the life out of me.
Though I had girlfriends or wives it had mit changed anything. There were no boundaries when it came to her. She felt entitled to me being subjected to her in every way. As part of her manipulation tactics she would often use saying "I'm your mother and you will never be able to pay me back for what she's done". Statements like this were commonplace which kept me under her manipulation.
Impact on Relationships
In my marriages she sabotaged them. I had no idea though. As I put my wife first above her, it caused her to come to me with more problems attempting to divide my loyalties. It worked. My first wife got upset with her behavior, my second wife was befriended by my mother and was fed seeds of doubt in various ways. Thus caused issues for me down the line in that marriage.
My character was being assassinated behind my back, again I was unaware of it. All I was doing for her and she was telling people something was wrong with me. Use, use, use, that's all I was good for. Even in moments of confronting her with my concerns of her treatment, I was ignored and dismissed yet I still had not understood what was taking place.
Realization and Resistance
Because of seeking her love, I confided in her concerning everything going on in my life. I felt this pull or need to tell her things. Even as I began to see the truth and overcome her influence, I was fighting the pull to tell her things that mattered to me, but I resisted. This feeling of the need to confide in her caused me greatly. I didn't know it then but I know it now.
My innermost thoughts and feelings shared with her were means for her to sabotage me. The fake concern was to gather information to use against me. It's interesting, on one hand I felt a pull to confide in her while on the other hand, because of not receiving her love I felt when she displayed affection, I felt it was fake.
She never said I love you, never encouraged me, never supported me and so when she said I love you, or gave a hug, I received it as fake but still was doing her bidding when asked. There was a dramatic difference in her treatment of me versus my siblings. I was the odd one, often due to my treatment, I isolated myself.
When I was ill, there was no call of concern, only a call of need. In my joyful moments no joy just more complaining of her problems. When I needed support, there was criticism.
Conclusion and Reflection
Once again after all I've said to you at this point, I still have not seen the truth. Over the years I became the person who when they see the name on the caller ID, they immediately cringe because they know the person calling wants something and you debate whether to answer or not.
Thank you for joining us this Testimony Tuesday. It's always inspiring to hear the powerful ways God works in our lives, and I hope today's story has touched your heart and strengthened your faith. Remember, we gather here every week to share and listen to the journeys that bring us closer to our Creator.
Don't forget to subscribe to our podcast on your favorite listening platform so you never miss an episode. And if you found today's testimony uplifting, please consider sharing it with friends or family who might also be encouraged by these stories. I'm your host, wishing you a week filled with faith and God's everlasting love.
Until next time, keep carrying the light. God bless.