Team Up for Hope
From the Depths of Anxiety to the Heights of Resilience: Colby Ebaugh's Story of Conquering Fear and Embracing Growth
When the weight of anxiety presses heavily upon us, the journey to reclaiming our lives can seem insurmountable. Yet, within each story of struggle, we find an ember of hope that can ignite the path to resilience. Our newest committee member at Team Up for Hope, Colby, is proof of that transformative power. Once gripped by anxiety, Colby now stands as a beacon of inspiration, leading the charge in mental health and substance use awareness. His candid sharing of a heart-wrenching anxiety episode from his middle school days draws back the curtain on the raw challenges and ultimate victories in the face of fear.
Books mentioned:
Master Of Change: How To Excel When Everything Is Changing Around You. --> Brad Stullberg
When the weight of anxiety presses heavily upon us, the journey to reclaiming our lives can seem insurmountable. Yet, within each story of struggle, we find an ember of hope that can ignite the path to resilience. Our newest committee member at Team Up for Hope, Colby, is proof of that transformative power. Once gripped by anxiety, Colby now stands as a beacon of inspiration, leading the charge in mental health and substance use awareness. His candid sharing of a heart-wrenching anxiety episode from his middle school days draws back the curtain on the raw challenges and ultimate victories in the face of fear.
Books mentioned:
Master Of Change: How To Excel When Everything Is Changing Around You. --> Brad Stullberg
Okay, welcome everybody. My name is Jeff Green, committee member on Team Up for Hope, and I am joined today by Colby Ebao, who is our newest committee member and also someone with a great story that we want to share with you today. Colby, welcome.
Speaker 2:Hello, so nice to be here. I've been looking forward to doing this.
Speaker 1:Yeah, thanks for joining us and thanks for joining the committee. You're a great addition to the team and we're excited about what you're going to do. Just a quick, short thing about what Colby's helping us with with Team Up for Hope is getting our sub-stack page ready to go do some writing, some podcast editing, podcast creations, so that we can continue our mission of creating awareness and raising funds for issues surrounding mental illness, suicide and substance use. So, colby, I've known you now for the better part of a couple of years.
Speaker 1:When I first met Colby quick story it was up at SUNY New Pulse. I was actually being given an award, along with for a mentorship I participated in as a mentee. You know I was an entrepreneur still am at this time and Colby's brother, mike, was my mentor. So Mike and I had gotten invited by SUNY New Pulse to attend this session award ceremony, if you will. And long story short, colby was there and I bumped into him and asked him what he does and he told me he was a writer and he was this really tall, really shy kid. That's the best way that I could describe Colby at the time. And it was funny because right off the bat he told me he was a writer and I was like, hey, listen, we could always use help with the written word, right? And I said here's my card Check out what we're doing with New Op and if you're interested let me know. Right? You remember that day before.
Speaker 2:Yeah, this story sticks with me. Yeah.
Speaker 1:And then it was funny because what you may not know is, mike, your brother came up after the fact to me and he's like, listen, he doesn't really follow up all that. Well, I'll make sure he follows up with you. And I told him. I said no, no, no, I don't want you to do that. Kid is interested. I don't want him to be pushed to want to work for me because it's not going to be easy. What we have to do, right, like he's got to have passion for it. And sure enough, he got right in touch with me a day later. So that, I think, was a big step for you at that point in time. Right, yeah, With the anxiety level that you had.
Speaker 2:I love that story. I believe you told me a little bit in the past and that really resonated with me for the longest time because I didn't know that happened. But ever since you told me that story it's been like always in my brain. Yeah, it was a big step and going to those networking events. I never used to do that. I was like the first one I went to in a while because I was actually brave enough to do it yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah. So give us some perspective. You're mid-twenties right now, right, yeah, okay. Graduated college, basically a straight A student, very bright kid. Colby still works with me over at Newop and he's also helping us with Team Up for Hope. So you're in your mid-twenties, 23, 24, somewhere around there. If I recall right 24,. Yeah, yeah, okay. So when first know that you had an anxiety issue as a kid, how old were you?
Speaker 2:Probably middle school, when I was old enough to kind of have that free will of thought, I just kind of knew it was going to be a problem. Yeah, I just knew it was going to be a problem.
Speaker 1:12, 13, so for a while, for a very long time, wow okay, and you know like how overwhelming was your worst episode as a kid.
Speaker 2:That's a good question. I think a lot of my episodes in terms of anxiety probably happened in school. I know this is an interesting story. Probably one of the bad ones when I was early on was I was a part of my school's like flag folding club. Like the principal had this thing where it was, a few kids would go out and lower the flag and like fold it and stuff like that, and I was paired up with this other student and we went out there one morning and it was a really humid and wet morning. So when it's warm and wet and humid, there's a lot of bugs. So when we bring the flag down, the flag is it's a big flag, by the way it was absolutely covered in bugs and my partner ran. He ran away and left me alone with the really giant flag. I can't fold a flag by myself and it's the American flag.
Speaker 2:So what I had to do I was like having a panic attack when I was doing this, but I had to like horribly fold it. It looked like I crumpled it out, which I didn't, but I was by myself, and then the school was being let out, so all the buses were picking up kids and I had this entire crowd of people watching me do this and I had high schoolers start cursing me out and stuff Cause it looked like I was crumpling the flag but I wasn't. And then there was this JROTC student and he came up to me and he folded the flag and he patted me on the back and I went into the principal's office after that and I absolutely like lost, lost my mind on this kid and I never get mad, but I was just like having a panic attack. I was yelling and I'm like you left me out there by myself and like I think that's kept me away from clubs because I never really did anything in terms of the student body and stuff ever since then until, like, I got to new faults. But that probably was my worst like early, early episode.
Speaker 2:And what grade was that in? That was probably eighth grade I would, if I recall correctly. Yeah.
Speaker 1:Did you have a problem going to school? Did you ever get into these rots where you just were fearful of going for one reason or another?
Speaker 2:I did in, I did in ninth grade. That was when I was in Valley Central High School and I was bullied a lot. So I really didn't enjoy going to school that much. But really just in ninth grade, like before that period, I didn't think I had the the realization of being anxious about going to school because I like to learn. But once I started having issues with other kids and I was like I really don't want to be going.
Speaker 1:And so, like what other types of activities, has anxiety held you back from doing Pretty much everything?
Speaker 2:Pretty much everything I wanted to do soccer and I was trying out to be like the goalkeeper didn't do it because that's like the position that everyone stares at and if you mess up, everyone's going to be on you. I wanted to just do pretty much just Fun things like clubs. I never did it because of social anxiety like even going out to the store I get nervous. So it really it really helped me back from a lot of different things.
Speaker 1:Interesting and so so how are things going now in comparison to where you were?
Speaker 2:Significantly better I sell. I'll say I still have a lot of social anxiety. Like I'll still get nervous when I go to the store. I still get nervous when I like yesterday is a great example when I had to go and watch my brother do his podcast. It's a bunch of people that I met one time, but there's a lot of people I feel really insignificant there. There was another entrepreneur there that makes like 60 million in his company. I just felt like really small and I'm sitting there and I'm like scrolling doom scrolling on my phone because I don't want to. I Want to look like I'm not there. You know what I mean like kind of like slinking the shadows a little bit.
Speaker 1:Interesting. Yeah, I mean, it wasn't Until too long ago that you were even willing to drive on freeway, so to speak. I mean you were, you were afraid of you know who knows what. Right, yeah, you would take the back roads, even though it took you 15 minutes longer, you know yeah, exactly I.
Speaker 2:I Will say I'm a lot better at driving in the highway and I thank you for helping me get out of my comfort zone with that, but I, my brain always goes. This might be something a lot of people can resonate with. My brain always goes to the worst-case Situation in almost every scenario that I put myself in. So like every time I was gonna go drive on the highway, my brain goes what if I get into a car crash? Or if I'm going to like if it's slightly snowing? I'm like what if I swerve and hit a tree?
Speaker 2:or something silly my brain always goes that worst-case situation.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you know, that's an interesting thing. My son, my youngest son, has had some real serious bouts with things up, and it happened during the pandemic. Of course, with so many other people, same thing. But One thing I noticed about him still to this day is he does that too. You know, he really goes to the negative really fast.
Speaker 1:You know, I, I read a book and dealing with my sons while we're talking, I mean look up the name of this book because I think it's very useful for anybody Got it on Amazon. But anyway, I read a book because I mean I was, I was dealing with the kid who I just couldn't even get to school. It was it. I was a panic attack before school, yelling, screaming, kicking, rolling over, crying. It was like really bad and Long story short. I, you know we had him seeing the therapist and this, that the other thing. But you know I tend to find books on subjects, you know, because I've had a lot of self-help things in my own time, whether it be business related, you know, motivation related, so on and so forth. So I read a book and one of the exercises in the book was called the downward arrow right and this I found to be very helpful With my son and we'll find I'm struggling here to find the book on Amazon, but we know I'll get it. We'll put it in the link notes and all that stuff. I was like anxiety for kids or something like that. I was a kid's book, but the downward arrow exercise was like that, so. So my son was afraid to go to school, right. So I would ask him why are you afraid to go to school? Well, I don't want to take the bus, okay. So if I drive you school? No, I don't want to do that either. All right, Well, let's take it one step at a time on the bus. What's gonna happen? Well, when I get on, I'm gonna see you and the bus is gonna drive away and I'm gonna start crying, and then all the kids are gonna think I'm silly and I'm gonna have a bad day the rest of my day. Okay, and Then what's gonna happen? Well, I'm gonna ride the bus.
Speaker 1:So the idea is, you go all the way down the line, right with those fears and anxieties, and you realize that, like, it's really not that bad, you know. So, like he would, he would cry on the bus, okay, some people would think you're silly, no big deal. Okay, so you stop crying and then you get go to school and what? Well, then I might think of you again and start crying again because I miss you, like you know, these are things that he's saying, of course, to try to get out of going to school, these things. But you know, and then, well then, what would happen then? What would happen then?
Speaker 1:And like, the worst case scenario was not really that bad, you know, in the case of driving a car on a freeway, well, I could end up dying. Well, that's, that's a tough one to rationalize, but that downward X, that downward arrow exercise, I think was really key and that the book explains how to do it better than I just explained it there. Um, but Do you find yourself kind of doing that with your, I think, automatically? That's how you, that's how you get yourself over it. Like, why would I think that? Like, that's not gonna happen, because is this, that or the other thing right? I mean you just, yeah, through it.
Speaker 2:I. I Think I've been subconsciously doing that only recently, when I started going to therapy, because it's just a rational thought. I mean, nothing's happened when I drive on my way. I've been in the car on a highway when someone else is driving, so it's literally the same thing, mostly like if something was gonna happen, it wouldn't matter who's driving the car. Right, I think I've been doing that subconsciously. I just tell myself it's kind of like why would you think that like nothing is gonna happen if you go to the supermarket, yeah, yeah, well, from an outside I looking in, you know I've seen great change in you over the time that I've known you.
Speaker 1:I mean you were basically scared of everything at first. You know you first of it out. But you know there was, there was a lot of intellect there and a lot of potential. So we stuck with you, you know, because we figured you know this is a kid that has a lot of potential and we'll deal with his anxiety stuff and work with them on it and it's it's worked out really well, to the point where you know you're, you're independent, you're free to take on tasks, you're thinking your way through things, using that big brain inside your head and really stepping out into the world. So what advice I mean like, what has what has Changed in you? What influences, what exercises, what habits changed Over the course of these two years for you to get to the point where you are now?
Speaker 2:I think I just realized that there's a lot of things that I want to do and Allowing my anxiety to stop me from doing them is a it's a Deficientness type thing.
Speaker 2:I say this a lot when I talk to people, because I have people coming to me a lot, especially one of the student mentors saying like they don't know how the world's gonna go, like what's the point of doing anything if we're just like it feels like we're walking on an abyss, like what's the next world event that's gonna like end it, all sort of thing?
Speaker 2:And I always tell people if you're not doing what you enjoy every day, then theoretically, if we get to that point in time when there's some horrible event that's gonna shut everything down like I always say the walking dead or whatever Like if you're not doing what you love every day and you get to that point, you look back and you're like man, I didn't do anything, I kind of just waited for this to happen Then it's gonna feel a lot worse. So I always tell people just do what you love every day, and then nothing can stop you, because you'll never lose. And I think once I realized that it was kind of just relieving and therapy also helped a lot. Therapy was a big help and just having someone to talk to, but really just Following your core values and just doing what you enjoy every day.
Speaker 1:So your mindset has had a lot to do with the improvement of your state overall. Yeah, exactly Now the other thing I've noticed about you, too, is you're starting to exercise a lot more. Do you feel a difference when you're in a good routine of exercise? Do you feel that that's?
Speaker 2:good for you? No, 100%. Yeah, I took advantage of not exercising for the longest time and just eating whatever I wanted, and for years, like Especially when I was in the middle of my time in university I was always dizzy and I was always tired and I knew it was a problem because it was stopping me from doing things. And then, once I started going to the gym and then once I started having like Nutrition coaching and eating better, there's been a significant increase of productivity. I'm not dizzy and I feel more confident to do things like. I've been shopping regularly Because I need to get stuff for my nutrition coaching, but it really has cleared up my mind. It removed the clouds and it's kind of like a sunnier day, so to speak. That's great.
Speaker 1:So so exercise and very impactful for you, yeah, okay, so much so that you're gonna stay with that routine for the rest of your life, right?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I yeah 100%.
Speaker 1:And, and you touched on nutrition. What about nutrition? How can that, how does that help you and what would you recommend?
Speaker 2:Same thing with exercising it, just it made me feel better so I could perform better. And what I would recommend is I don't know how to cook, so, like I never really wanted to do nutrition anyway, but I'm slowly teaching myself how to cook and it's just start small, like I get protein powder, I can make eggs, I can make pancakes and I realize most cooking is just following instructions. So just starting small is a really good way to start and there's a lot of Microwavable things that you can get that aren't actually bad for you, that are healthy. So it's really just starting small, okay that's good.
Speaker 1:That's good advice. Um, the book I found the book that I read. It's called Anxiety Relief for Kids on the Spot Strategies to Help your Child Overcome Worry, panic and Avoidance Really good book and I would agree with what it says. On the spot strategies right. That's why I bought it, because I'm like all right, I need. I'm a busy entrepreneur, I got a lot of things going on, my wife and I are super busy, like I don't have time, so just tell me what to do. Right, that's what I needed and that's what that book did and it really.
Speaker 1:It really helped in a big way and, quite frankly, I should read it again because you know we all deal with certain levels of anxiety, right? He's not just other people. Like I definitely deal with anxiety, definitely. Like I'm having more anxiety at this stage in my life than I've ever had, right, because I'm, you know, into so many different things from an entrepreneurial standpoint. There's a lot of pressure on me, all those sorts of things. So you know, anxiety sets in and it can be overwhelming at times.
Speaker 2:Definitely. I want to throw in a book recommendation in there too, please. That's what I was going to say. I read I actually have it Master of Change by Brad Stilberg. It's a really great book, I know. I just told you about it last week. I was in a lot of anxiety before I read that book. Did you just hold the book up? I missed that if you did. Oh, I didn't, but I can. I don't know, I don't know.
Speaker 1:Master of Change by Brad Stilberg. Cool yeah, I've got that actually on my to-do list Of reading.
Speaker 2:I've read a lot of self-help books Like I read the one thing A lot of. None of them have impacted my life as significantly as that book and there's a lot of philosophy in there and philosophy I took my last semester before I graduated. That really helps me with my mindset. But this book here is really talking about don't fight change, just flow with it, because it's pointless to fight change. You're going to be more exhausted that way and there's a philosophical concept that I kind of want to plan in everybody's mind.
Speaker 2:It's a really ancient concept by the Stoic philosopher, epitetus, and this concept is there are some things that we can control and there's some things that we can't control, and it's pointless to try to control things we can't. So if really out there example, but if you're getting married and you have everything planned and the weather turns sour and it starts to rain, you can't control the weather, so why get really mad about it? I heard that in my philosophy class and then I read it in this book, which a bunch of other philosophers. It really changed everything and I've been in a lot of stressful situations the past year and I just haven't shut down because of it, I just roll with it.
Speaker 1:Great, great. So that book was very impactful on you. So that was one of my questions what books do you recommend? Or book do you recommend? How about a favorite quote, colby? Do you have a favorite quote that you like? Oh, doesn't necessarily have to be exa-related.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I like you heard this name a lot being around me but I really like Jaco Willink. I kind of have a man crush on this guy. He's a really good leader and he's a no BS kind of guy and I like the just do the work, get up and go clean, fuel, hard work, no excuses and stuff like that. He's a. If I really need a slap in the face from someone who's really intense, I kind of go to his podcast and his books because they're really good, but other than that, I really resonate with them. Some things are in our control, some things aren't. That's been my like 2023, 2024 quote that I just lived by.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's a good one. I don't know who said this one, but I say it all the time and I didn't make it up. But you know, you can't worry about the things you can't control Exactly. They're out of your control, so you can't worry about them. Now, I say that a lot. I don't live it all the time right, because I'm a human. So that just means that we are going to worry about things that we can't control. I mean, that's the human condition, you know. Yeah, but it is so true, like when you just think of it logically, it's like yeah, duh, like what am I worried about? I can't do anything about it.
Speaker 2:So I worry, yeah, no, exactly, it's just so simple. You know, yeah, I. There's so many lessons that I want to pull out of my brain from this book because they're so meaningful. But I just recommend over and over again to anyone listening pick up the master of change. Yeah, I always say master is, but it's master of change. There's a lot of fantastic things in there. All right, cool, that's really good stuff.
Speaker 1:All right now, colby, before we go to the thank yous and goodbyes and all that stuff, what's the best way for somebody to connect with you if they want to reach out and hire you? I know that you're in the market for a job right now and your expertise is writing. He has a lot of technical skills, things that he's done with us at Newop and will continue to do with us at Newop part-time basis, so tell us how to connect with you. What are you looking for for work and anything else that you want to tell the audience.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I have a website that I have set up so people can send me messages and emails and stuff. It's the-world-buildercom. I also have an Instagram. I forgot. I forget the handle, but I believe it's world builder. The best way is probably my website, because I'll get all those emails directly and I just like to write. My end goal is to kind of work in the video game industry space to create the narratives that we kind of play today because they have a big impact on my life, and I'm also trying to write just books, but I love to write and I'm marketing pretty much everything. I realize that life has made me a multi-tool and I don't resist it anymore. So one week I might be really big into writing and the next week I might be really big into my studies in cybersecurity. I just stop trying. I'm like, all right, I'll do all these things because I enjoy them. Yeah great.
Speaker 1:All right. Yeah, this is I can tell you guys, whoever's listening here, if you're an entrepreneur and you add somebody to your organization, this is a great person, great guy. If I had the bandwidth and the resources, I'd hire them full time in a second. Very, very capable is how I should say, and well-rounded. All right, colby. Thanks man. It's really important that people share their experiences so that we can create more awareness for anxiety and depression and other mental illnesses that are out there that we all deal with and without people talking about it, it just unsaid. The reality is, especially with anxiety. So many people are dealing with high levels of anxiety, their kids are dealing with it and no one really talks about it. So thank you for sharing.
Speaker 2:The problem. Mental health is the core value. I always like to spread awareness of it and I love to do more episodes in the future too, because I have a lot of stories and examples. I've lived a stressful life. I have a lot of advice.
Speaker 1:I love to talk about it. All right, sounds good, we'll think about another topic and we'll do another one. Thanks, colby, thanks everybody, see ya.