Stuck in Negative Patterns: Ultimate Playbook

In this episode of Transform Your Future, Eddie interviews Tommy Montelli, a dynamic entrepreneur, Coach and former athlete. Tommy shares invaluable insights from his journey, discussing how lessons from sports can be applied to life and business. Discover Tommy's powerful MISS Method and learn how to turn setbacks into growth, adopt high standards, and lean on faith. This episode is packed with practical advice and inspirational stories that will help you break free from negative patterns and unlock your full potential.

Key Takeaways:

1. Setbacks Knocking You Down?
   • Solution: Turn Defeat into Growth
   • Description: Tommy emphasizes that setbacks are your greatest teachers. Embrace them to become stronger and wiser.
2. Life Feeling Chaotic?
   • Solution: Adopt the MISS Method
   • Description: Move, Improve, Serve, and Silence every day. This routine sets a strong foundation for success and balance.
3. Caught in the Grind?
   • Solution: High Standards, No Excuses
   • Description: Earn your wins. High standards and hard work outshine participation trophies every time.
4. Lost Without Direction?
   • Solution: Lean on Faith
   • Description: Whether it’s God or a higher force, having faith helps you navigate life’s toughest challenges.
5. Stuck in Negative Patterns?
   • Solution: Watch Your Game Film
   • Description: Analyze your daily actions. Identify and change bad habits to continuously improve.
6. Struggling to Connect?
   • Solution: Be a Great Person
   • Description: Kindness isn’t just nice – it’s essential. Being genuinely helpful and kind attracts opportunities and builds strong relationships.
7. Lacking Inspiration?
   • Solution: Learn from Leaders
   • Description: Stories like Tommy’s dad visiting a dying boy highlight the profound impact of kindness and service beyond personal success.

Quotes from the Episode:

• "Some of your greatest growth comes after a loss, a setback, a defeat." - Tommy Montelli
• "If you can't be honest with yourself about who you are and what you're doing, you've got a deeper issue than anyone can help you with." - Eddie Isin
• "If you miss every single day, you're doing four critical things that will put you in a better state." - Tommy Montelli
• "Your health is vital. There's no way you can participate and work 12-14 hours a day if you're not in good health." - Eddie Isin
• "You can't attract amazing things into your life if you're not a likable guy." - Tommy Montelli

Resources Mentioned:

• Join the newsletter at transformyourfuture.com for more insights on personal growth and identity.

Connect with Tommy Montelli

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Next Episode Teaser:

• Stay tuned for our next episode where we dive into the benefits of publishing a book to frame yourself as an expert in your field. It’s going to be packed with actionable insights you won’t want to miss!

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Transcript

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We still talk about some of your, you got to be able to accept defeat and setbacks and losses. If you want to have your career go in an upward trajectory, you better be able to deal with setbacks. So he made sure people knew, yeah, I know he's the winning his coach in New England history, but he also lost a ton of games. You can't, some of your, as you know, and your listeners know, some of your greatest growth and expansion as a person comes after a loss, a setback, a defeat. And if you can channel that experience of losing or a setback the right way, you can have amazing personal growth. A person as a basketball team and a sports team, you can as well. But he wanted to make that clear when people say, oh, you've won all these games, but I also lost a bunch of games. And you have to be able to deal with those setbacks in order to really win in sports. And guess what? In sales and in entrepreneurship and. In life. As a parent in life. Yeah. Yeah. That's why the parallels. I absolutely love what we do because the parallels are so distinct. Papaya and hello all. Welcome to another episode of Transform Your Future with me, Eddie Isin, where I sit down with entrepreneurs, thought leaders, and high achievers as they identify areas I can improve on and guide me to further my self-improvement practice. For more information and insights, join the newsletter@transformyourfuture.com about reinvention, personal growth and identity. If you are watching this on YouTube, please comment, listening to audio only. Send a message through your podcast app. Email me or text me directly at 3 7 2 2 1 4 1 7. We want to hear from you. Let us know what you think, and if you have any ideas for future topics. Our guest today is Tommy Montelli with a passion for leadership, resilience, and personal development. Tommy is a dynamic entrepreneur and former athlete whose journey from the basketball court to the business world has been marked by success and inspiration. As a former standout college basketball player and coach with multiple championship victories at the high school level, Tommy has honed a unique perspective on the parallels between athletics and life. Tommy shares invaluable insights into how the lessons learned from sports can be applied to every aspect of our lives from achieving optimal health and fostering meaningful relationships to navigating the competitive landscape of career and entrepreneurship through engaging personal stories and practical advice. Tommy empowers listeners to unlock their full potential and embrace the mindset of a champion in all their endeavors. We had a great conversation and touched on so many important topics. I especially enjoyed Tommy's stories about his father who has a high school basketball coach, won multiple championships and made a real impact in his family community and his players' lives. I hope you enjoy our talk as much as I did. So Tom, welcome to Transform your Future. So glad to have you. Eddie. Thank you for having me and it's a pleasure and I look forward to our discussion. Yes, absolutely. So I want to just jump right in and let's talk a little bit about your background and your history of how you ended up where you are today, helping to coach people and get people to live it up in their lives and reduce all the burnout and stress and fatigue and focus on what's meaningful. Yeah. Well, I grew up, the son of a coach Eddie, and not a coach is popular these days. I grew up the son of a basketball coach, and he was a high school basketball coach. My dad was, and he would take me, I'm the youngest of six kids, he would take me to his practices at a very early age, and I would be on the basketball court. I would see my dad coaching his teams. I would see the response of the kids to his coaching. And I said, wow, this is pretty interesting. I fell in love with the game of basketball. And so then I got older. I played for my dad in high school. I went to college on a basketball scholarship. Yes sir. And. I coached with my dad for 20 years. But after I got out of college, I was at a crossroads. I said, listen, I have a chance to go coach college basketball at a pretty high level. I decided to get into business and I get into business and thankfully we've, we've been successful. But all of those lessons, Eddie, that I learned while I was playing for my dad and coaching with my dad, always were in the back of my head and you can seamlessly integrate lessons from athletics and business. And that's what we started to do. And so I am the son of a coach. I became an entrepreneur and now we're molding those two facets, athletics and entrepreneurship and really just living flourishing in your life. We've kind of figured that out in our little world here. So we're trying to help as many folks as we can using principles from athletics, which I think is important. Sure, sure. And knowing a little bit about you, Tom, and talking to you previously, I would say that probably your dad didn't give out any participation trophies. He didn't. He didn't. Nope. There was. Yeah. You had to earn any trophy that you got back in the day. And I think that was a good way, Eddie, to go about things. And I still think to this day, it's a good way to go about things in your life as an entrepreneur, as you know, and some of your listeners know, man, I tell people it feels like it's not working most of the time. This journey of entrepreneurship, you got to be able to take a hit. You got to be able to fall down. You got to be able to get back up. And guess what? It's going to happen again tomorrow, or it might be happening in 10 minutes from now, who knows? But no participation trophies. You had to earn everything you got. And I think that background of playing for a tough coach who also was a world-class, and I'll get into this a world-class person, but when we stepped onto the court, we had very high standards. And that translated thankfully to my career as an entrepreneur. Yes, yes, yes, yes. Absolutely. And I was thinking when you were talking that, and when I was a young entrepreneur, I thought somehow that I was working towards something that when I got there that was going to be it. There was a finish line and I got there and now I won. And that's it. And it turns out that that's not how it works. It turns out that life is going to continue to happen. Things are going to keep you're involved and are going to keep changing and growing. Life is going to change economic disasters. We're going to have people get sick and die, right? There's all kinds of things. You're going to have health issues, you're going to have to take care of relationship issues that now I've got to focus my attention on these relationship issues. So things are always constantly changing and evolving. So I love what you're talking about, having those high standards, showing up for life. Look, being honest, this is the one area that I think is the rub is if you can't be honest with yourself about stuff, you have a deeper issue than anybody can help you with. But if you could be honest with yourself about who you are, what you're doing, and are you really going all in, are you doing your best? I work a lot of time with a lot of salespeople and and solopreneurs. And if you want to be the best salesperson, I hope you're reading the books. I hope you're studying it. I hope you're practicing it. Like in basketball, the guy goes on the court, he shoots a few hundred baskets a day every day so that he can be the best at what he does. Right. That's great. And so as a salesperson, you need to do the same thing. You need to go all in and you need to practice, practice, practice, role play, role play, practice, practice, and just keep getting in front of people, in front of people, in front of people to be the best as you can be. Right. That is exactly right, Eddie. You just nailed it. And in sports and in basketball in particular, there are times when you can't hide. Your skill is going to, that's going to be exposed if you haven't put in the reps, if you hadn't put in the time early in the morning, what we call the unseen hours, when you're by yourself working on your skills, if you are not doing that consistently, and if you're not doing it with the right coaching, you'll get exposed in sports and in basketball. Same thing in sales. I have a deep history in sales. You're exactly right. You have to get the reps in. If you think you can just come in and charm somebody because you maybe have the gift of gab in your opinion, it's not going to work. You have to get the reps in. You have to understand the cadence, you have to understand the other person and how they're coming across. There's a lot of nuances and it takes repetition. It takes work every day just as it does to develop skills in a sport, whether it's basketball, my love or baseball or football or anything, tennis. And there's a clear distinct similarity between sales and sports. I grew up, my first job, I was, they called back then a broker. I was a stockbroker essentially. And I came out of the gate like, this is awesome. There's no cap on what I can do, what I can make. I can come in whenever I want. I can stay as late as I want. I'll win if I make more calls than that guy, if I dial faster and more often I can win. No, that was, to me, this was unbelievable. And. If you keep improving your skills, improving your skills, because the average guy, he's not improving his skills. He's not reading, he's not eating it up, he's not studying, he's not practicing, he's not out on the court shooting 300 baskets a day. And so that's how you get your little edge. You need leverage. And that's always been my leverage, right? I'm going to perform better. And as you said earlier, even when we're talking about sales, it is that practice that you hone your craft. It's that back and forth. It's where you're on the phone with a guy, but you're talking to guy in the office and you're practicing your craft. Eddie, how about that? We work with a lot of entrepreneurs now, and they come to me and I'll say, we were big on, my dad was the son of Italian immigrants, and he grew up with really nothing. He was a high school teacher at a Catholic high school. So we had six kids to do the math. There wasn't a lot to go around when we were growing up. We understood that and we were okay with that. But with we understood that you had to get out there and you have to get after, you have to create some opportunities for yourself. And my dad was always big on the fundamentals. He was never an overly complex guy. He kept things simple. And in sports and in business, if you keep things simple, you can have a hell of a career. And it's the fundamentals. It's spending the time on the basics and getting outstanding at those basics, one of which is sales. And we talk with a lot of guys in entrepreneurship, and they just don't get that. They don't understand that you have to do your homework, you have to read, you have to listen to the podcasts, but you got to put in the reps. That is critical. Yeah. And I think also what I find, especially with entrepreneurs, is they underestimate what they really need to do to be professional and to be the best that they can be. But they overestimate on other areas. And I think that the interesting thing is, is that what I have found has been the biggest drawback, and we're going to get into this a little bit because I understand some of your philosophies and your dad's philosophies that he talked about, which is so vital and important, is the fact that human beings tend to beat themselves up. They tend to try to be perfectionists. They give themselves a hard time. They get going down the wrong rabbit hole. You know what I'm saying? And oftentimes we need another person that we trust, that we believe has our interest, our best interests at heart to mentor us and help us to say, Hey, hey, you're focusing on the wrong thing right now. You go out and you do something and you're working towards a goal and your proposal is not accepted. Somebody turns it down, you just spent a month doing it or whatever. And then people have the tendency to think, it's my Maybe not. Maybe you just need to forget about it. Go to the next one and just learn what you can, do the best with it and do it again. Right. That. Interesting. Yeah. Yeah, exactly point. But what I was trying to say though earlier, or what I was saying was that what I like about your philosophy and your dad's philosophy as you had mentioned it before when we're talking, is the fact that it's not just about the pursuit of excellence in your career, but it's also about how all of that works together with your health, your mindset, your freedom, right? Because the point of going out and succeeding wildly if you're miserable every day, right? If you're not happy, you. Need That's a great point. Yeah. So I tell people, Eddie, that my dad was a world-class coach. He won 878 games in 50 seasons. That is the most of any coach in New England history boys basketball. But when someone would bring that up, he'd say, yes, I won all those games. I also lost 325 games. He would say he won 11 state championships, which is the most in Connecticut history. But when someone would bring that up, he would say, yeah, but I also lost seven state championship games. And so he was very humble. His point in saying that was, listen, I've had all the accolades. He has a plaque, the Naysmith Hall of Fame in Springfield, mass. He got the Lifetime Achievement Award in the Naysmith Hall of Fame. So this guy has a plaque with his picture on it and his name in the Naysmith Hall of Fame, but you'd never know it. He would say, I lost 325 games. And he wanted people to know that and his players to know, yes, we've won a bunch of games. I've also lost a bunch. I've also lost probably more games than most. And so we still talk about some of your, you got to be able to accept defeat and setbacks and losses. If you want to have your career going an upward trajectory, you better be able to deal with setbacks. So he made sure people knew, yeah, I know he's the winningest coach in New England history, but he also lost a ton of games. And you can't, as you know, and your listeners know, some of your greatest growth and expansion as a person comes after a loss, a setback, a defeat. And if you can channel that experience of losing or a setback the right way, you can have amazing personal growth as a person, as a basketball team and a sports team, you can as well. But he wanted to make that clear when people say, oh, you've won all these games, but I also lost a bunch of games. And you have to be able to deal with those setbacks in order to really win in sports. And guess what? In sales and in entrepreneurship and. In life. As a parent in life. That's why the parallels, I absolutely love what we do because the parallels are so distinct. And another thing, some of his best coaching, Eddie, he was a world-class coach, but some of his best coaching never took place within the confines of the basketball court. His best coaching many times, and some of his most important coaching took place outside of the basketball court when former players or players, current players or former players in their thirties, their forties, their fifties, their sixties even would come back to him, come to him. And they called him coach because they had such respect. They knew he would do anything for them. And they came back to him with problems, with addictions, with marital problems, with their business was imploding. And they would come back to coach for advice. And he was brilliant at this, but he was able to coach guys back onto the right path. Not on the basketball court. We're talking off the basketball. So if you know anything about my father, and there's been a lot written about my dad, and he's a well-known guy, his when he passed away last July at 92 years old and at his wake, there were thousands of people that showed up to pay their respects, not because he won 878 games and 11 state championships. They showed up because of the massive impact he had on so many lives on the court, Eddie Morely, in my opinion, off the court. So that's an impact. We talk about trying to make an impact, a positive impact on people. And he certainly did that. So I now try to just do, if I can have this much of an impact on people, this percentage of what my dad did, I'm good. And that's all I'm striving for because those are big shoes to fill, but what a message and what an impact he had. Yeah. Well, may he rest in peace. And my condolences, that's a difficult thing losing a parent. But what a great story about how he touched so many lives. I think one of the keys that I know that I want to talk about with you in this is also the fact that there's faith and how faith is integral to the whole process, right? And I find this very challenging with some, if you don't have some type of faith, if you don't believe that there's something greater how do you deal with that adversity in life? You know what I'm saying? I believe in God, and I have a relationship with this God of my understanding of what I believe, and everybody I believe needs that because I don't know how you can go through life with the ups and downs and turmoils and adversity without having that. You are speaking my language now, Eddie. And I will tell you, you are so correct. And again, I go back, I was fortunate enough, I have great mentors, but I had the ultimate mentor in my opinion in my dad who was, there was a book written about my dad when he was 85, 86 years old. And the title of the book was God, family and Basketball. Those are the three things. And in that order, ed. Basketball. Was a distant third. He was known as a basketball coach all across the country, but basketball was a distant third behind God family. So he would say, guys, and thank you for bringing this up, because faith is so important. I'm a Catholic, okay? I believe in God. But not everybody, not all your listeners, not all the people that we coach. They have other beliefs. They have other things. They're not Catholic. But you have to have something. You have to have a North star Eddie, in my opinion. And I think you agree, whereas everyone thinks stuff starts to fall apart. You got to have a place to turn. You got to be able to look at the North star and say, okay, let's get grounded here. Let's get focused. It's going to be okay, relax. And whatever you believe, you believe, but believe in something, a higher source energy. God believe in. Something the force. Believe in the force, if that's what you want to even call it a force. Call it a force. But when guys would come back, and this is interesting, this will dovetail into something else. When guys would come back to my dad with problems, as I said, addiction, their business, their marriage, everything was going wrong, they'd come back to him and he would say, he was very simple. He would say, listen, here's two things you got to do. And he says, your health, I'm looking at you now. You gained a bunch of weight. You're not where you should be physically. You have to figure that out first. Get yourself right. You got to get healthy. And then he says, Are you going to church? Have you been praying? How is your faith? Is what he would say essentially. Now, some of these guys, again, whatever you believe in, whatever your religious beliefs are, it's up to you. But he says, your health got to get in your health. You got to lose weight, you got to get in shape, and then you got to start going to church again. That was his way of saying, fix your and get your faith. Right? And then we started watching this, and I started and I said, holy smokes. Simple guy here. Not complex. If you have your health and you have your faith, Eddie, what a hell of a foundation that is. What can't you accomplish? Exactly. You're unstoppable. Those two things, you're unstoppable. You may have lost your business. You may, God forbid, have lost a loved one. You may, whatever you lose, if you have your faith and you have your health, you can come back from anything. And we kind of took that and we added onto it in our coaching to do four things on a daily basis. If you don't feel good, if you're in a rut, if you've got some anxiety, you've got some stress or some burnout, we've got four things. You tell me when you want me to quickly go over 'em, that we expanded on health and fitness, which are two incredible pillars you need. And we brought it to four things that we think if you do every day, you can get yourself out of any jam you want. Yes. Well, let's expand on that. Let's hear what you have to say. So as a basketball player, you want to make as many shots as you can. You're not going to be on many teams if you can't put the ball in the basket. So as we played our careers, you got to make as many shots as you can. But then based on my dad's, his thoughts about health and faith, we said there are four things you do every day. If you unhappy, you're depressed, you're sad, and I, I'm not a doctor, but treat depression and these issues with a doctor if you need to. But if you do four things every day, it has been proven, and it is by our clients, by me, by others, but also it's scientifically proven. You do these four things every day, you're going to be in a much better state. And it's MISS miss every day. You got to move, Eddie. You got to move your body. You got to exercise. It's just a fact. You feel better, you look better, you have more confidence. There's a cocktail of chemicals that goes rushing through your body. We're not going to get into and out. You feel better. Now, if you want to start walking, if you want to jog, you want to lift weights, you want to do squats, move your body every day. Second thing, the eye is improve every day get better. Oh, isn't that brilliant? How about expand, grow, learn new things. You earn more if you learn more. That's a fact. So every day improve. Now, I'll tell you what I do improve. Well, you read, you watch or you listen. Read a great book as you and I do, and we've got 'em in my office. Listen, these days to a great podcast, watch a great video on YouTube or Instagram. We your time on social media. But let me tell you, Eddie, as you know, there are some of the world's leading thought leaders and business guys on Instagram and YouTube. They can become your mentors. You can learn anything. So every day improve. Third thing is serve every day serve anybody and everybody. If you lead your life in a spirit of service, there are going to be things coming into your life and opportunities that you never imagined. Why? Because you're putting other people in front of yourself. My father would say, it's not about me. It's about we. So live your life in a spirit of service. Do something every day for somebody. Little micro moments during the day, you have opportunities to say something nice or hold a door, or you don't have to donate your time, or you don't have to donate your money, but donate some time to people who need it. So far, you're moving, you're improving, you're expanding. You're getting better every day. You're serving others. The last thing is, shut up. My father wouldn't have liked that term, but we say, shut up. Create a block of time every single day in your schedule where you are by yourself with no distractions in silence, no cell phones, no emails, no this, no that. You spend time by yourself and people are like, it's uncomfortable, Tom. That's weird. No, you're are going to learn to love it. Practice. Practice. Spend 15 minutes by yourself or start with five minutes. What are we going to do, Tom? Pray. It's what I do. If you don't want to meditate, how about this? Do nothing. Just think. Just sit there and let things come into your head. Meditate, visualize, write in a journal, but spend some time every single day. Eddie, you probably know this, nobody does this. Or if some do not enough, do it. But if you do those four things, you move your body, you improve, you grow, you expand every day. You serve others. And then you spend some time in silence every day with your thoughts that will get you out of any rut you are in. Now, there are some other things that you have to continue to do to gain momentum. If a person comes to says, Hey, I'm not making enough money. You do these four things, then there are some strategies where, okay, we got to figure out how you're going to make some money, how you're going to earn. But if you do those four basic things, again, not complex. You don't need 10 degrees in psychology to figure this stuff out that miss. If you miss every single day, you're doing four critical things that will put you in a better state and you're going to be a better person. Yeah, Tom, I love it. And I tell you one of the things that I love about it is that the acronym sounds like a negative thing. You're failing, like you're missing, but it actually is showing you how you actually step up and succeed. And I think that that's very cool about the acronym. So Eddie guys have come up to us and me and some guys who are sports guys, I brought this to'em. They're like, yeah, but it's negative. Missing is negative. And then I would say, no, it's not. That is the exact point. That is why we came up with this, because everyone, yeah, you get all the accolades if you make the shots, but guess what? You're not going to make 'em all. You're going to have a ton of misses, mistakes, setbacks, losses. So miss really is all the mistakes in your life, the setbacks, the defeats you're going to have. And thank you for bringing that up. And I think some people say, oh, it's negative. Why would you want to miss every day? No, it's not. You have to get good at failing. You have to get good at handling defeats. You have to get good at missing before you can become an elite shooter. I'm sorry, Tom. That's why I love it, because basically we're programming you to say, we're going to fail. Let's just get this out of the way right now. We're going to fail. We're going to have setbacks, and this is how we're going to deal with it. Yep. It's okay. And because again, as an entrepreneur, most of the time, many times it feels like it's not working out. But when you're a family man, when you have a family, you work at a corporation, many times it's like, man, things just aren't going the right way here. You got to be really good at dealing with that stuff. So that's why I'm not ashamed, and I don't regret calling this the miss method because I think you got to get great at handling setbacks and defeats or misses. Yes. That's fantastic. That's really good. So I just want to just stop and say, so if you just do those four things, I don't see how you can lose. You're going to be setting yourself up for success. You're going to be setting yourself up for the new stuff to come in to find those new things and to find the areas that you could really improve on and where to focus your energy. So I think it's fantastic. I think that's a great nugget right now that you dropped a big, big bag nugget. And if just you walk away from this episode just with that nugget right there, I think that it's much worth your time. I agree. And we've worked Eddie, and we've collaborated and we've mentored first responders, CEOs, world-class, hedge fund managers, guys, elite guys in the military, and they're like, yeah, you. You're right. These four things are absolutely critical pillars, and we're doing it now, and it makes a big difference. Now. It's not. You need to raise a family and to build a business, you need to do some other things economically to get yourself set. And that's for a different conversation. That's for a conversation with you getting elite at sales. But these four things have to be a part of your life, and they are part of most the people who are really elite and are doing wonderful things, know that you got to move your body every day. You got to get better, you got to grow, you got to expand, you got to serve others. Really important. You got to spend some time in silence with your thoughts, talking to. This is the foundation. It's the foundation. And so it's worked for us and it's worked for a lot of others. So hopefully your listeners get Yeah. And I like to do it in the mornings. I feel like basically I own my day by doing that in the morning and having this ritual and practice in the mornings to get up and schedule my life so that I have an hour and a half every morning just for me to do those things, to get my mind in the right space, to center myself, to refocus on what I'm doing and what's important to me rather than getting sidetracked with other things. And that might mean that you have to schedule your life to go to bed a little bit earlier so you can get up earlier, but you got to have the discipline to do what's necessary, because this is really vital. At one time, I had difficulty with this, and somebody said that the first part of the day is only for me. This is me time, and I'm worth it and valuable, and I need to take that me time to do this. And that's true. And Eddie, you explained earlier when we were talking offline, today's Saturday, by the way, I absolutely love that you're hosting a show on Saturday, and it is my pleasure to be here on a Saturday, but you told me you have three or four podcasts today, then you've got a two and a half hour seminar you're going to participate in. You got all this stuff going on. Yeah, you've got to get yourself right in order to go through that battle of a day that you're going through today. Absolutely. So if you get this foundational stuff done in the morning, it's going to allow you to deal with this long, crazy day you have today, which is on a Saturday. So I have immense respect for you for doing all that. So this sets you up to have a heck of a day. And we always suggest that people handle this, these four things in the morning because then it gets your day going in the right direction. Yeah, absolutely. And then your health is so vital in all this. There's no way that you could participate and work 12, 14 hours a day if you're not in good health. And if you don't take care of your health. I mean, I tend to do a lot of things for my health. I've regenerated so many things by focusing on my health and taking care of myself and using my spirituality as the force to kind of, I believe that miracles can happen, but you have to show up and you have to be there, and you have to want it. You got to participate. You got to. Participate, you have to participate. And so much good stuff has happened. But I fast. I do at least a 18 hour fast every day, and I just juice every day. So I mean, I do all these things and it's just vital for my energy and my enthusiasm and to stay in the zone and to be in the flow as sports enthusiasts talk about, you have to take care of yourself. It just doesn't, those are. Doesn't happen. Those are two things. I'm sorry to interrupt. You. No, please. Those are. Two things that I'm reading about and I'm thinking about a lot. And I'm learning, always learning fasting, something I want to incorporate into my daily schedule because I know, and have you done an 18? Do you do 18 hour? I do at least 18 hour every day. Wow, that's terrific. And then juicing is. Yeah, and I would say just, that's my one thing is I do fruit juice and a green juice and a beet juice. They're mixed. But I do that during the day. So while I'm in my 18 hour fast, I do drink liquids of all the nutrition to make sure I have my nutrition every day. But what I found by doing it, besides, it's a great way to maintain your health. I find it really instrumental in maintaining health health space, but also it gives me massive, massive energy. And there's lots of studies that show the regeneration of your cells, the revitalization of your body, all happens by doing that. It kicks everything into that high gear. 100%. There are many, many studies that prove that fasting and inducing, but fasting in particular is a world-class way to increase your longevity and your energy. Yes, yes. Absolutely. And I agree with that. And what's funny, Eddie, is we used to, and this is something that is underrated, people don't realize the importance of this. One simple thing I'm going to tell you, and whatever your listeners, listen, I had the opportunity. I'm not the smartest guy in the world. My dad was a son of Italian immigrants and said, not the smartest guy in the world. He kept things simple and basic, but we became world-class at the simple things and the basics. He used to call 'em the fundamentals. But one of the things that is so important, and we talk about it, is the value of being a great guy. Okay, now people say, great guy, duh. Yeah, but not everybody does it. So let me explain. So when we come in, we're talking with an entrepreneur client, or we're talking with a guy who's working at a company, he's working at a hedge fund, the first thing we say is, okay, listen, you got to be a great guy. And they're like, what do you mean Tom? I own a company. I own five companies. I manage a billion dollars. What do you mean be a great guy? Give me something complex. Here I go, settle down. Here's what you got to do. Great guys, first of all make more money. They live longer. They are happier. So how about that for a start, make more money. You live longer, you're happier. Alright? Now they're starting to pay attention. But I say, you can't attract, can't attract amazing things into your life or amazing things into your business or amazing business partners or amazing investors if you're not a likable guy. If you're not a great guy. So that in itself is simple. And people say, oh, of course. But no, not everyone knows it because as you know in this world, there's a lot of knuckleheads. And we would tell them, we say, listen when you do something nice, so we talk about serving every day. When you do something nice for somebody, when you do a kind act for somebody, there is a cocktail of chemicals that goes running through your body. We won't get into that, as I said, but it makes you feel better. The person who receives the kind act, there's a cocktail of chemicals that goes running through their body as well. But Eddie, the person who witnessed this kind act, this interaction between these two people, the person who witnesses the kind act has the same flow of amazing chemicals that goes through their body and it makes them happier. So you do something for somebody in a crowded area, you are having an impact on hundreds of people potentially. So be a great guy. Simple. It's underestimated, but it's important. And so many, in my experience, you put out that positive energy to the right, but then something comes back to you from the left, right? People sometimes we get caught up in. So if I'm giving to you, then you're supposed to give back to me. No, no, you give and you will receive, but maybe not right back from the right. Maybe it'll come from the left, maybe it'll come from somewhere else. But if you are in that groove, it all comes back. Right? So what you just said, don't expect something in return. Don't expect something is going to reciprocate back to you. No. Do it for the right reasons. And the irony of it, Eddie, is when you don't expect it to come back to you in a quid pro quo way, it comes back to you. When you don't expect it to guess what? Higher source God, it comes back to you. So that's a very good point you make. Yeah, I love it. The other real benefit that I have found in the morning rituals that I've been doing for many, many years now, and my spirituality is the fact that I am aware of what I'm saying. I'm aware of what I'm doing. I'm aware of what I'm feeling. I'm aware of what I'm thinking. I'm observing myself. I am listening to that voice of conscience, voice of reason inside of me guiding me. And because of that, there's been many, any challenges that I've had that I've had to look at. For example, I was in a relationship for a long time and I had done, I'm Catholic also, by the way, and I was married in a Catholic church, and I have a long relationship with my priest. And it was a very difficult thing being in a marriage and not feeling fulfilled and having something going on there. And I did everything that I possibly could to make myself a better person and to learn better skills on how to have a good relationship, how to be there for somebody else, how to not be critical and judgmental. And I did everything I could, but the other person didn't change and continue to decline and I had to do something. But it was only through my practice of doing these things that I recognized that my practice of being honest with myself that I knew I had to do something. And then eventually I had to do the thing that was very difficult was divorce somebody and start over at 50 years old. But that's what I had to do. But it was only through doing that. Right? And I think that this is an important part of why you have to own the day, why you have to have some spiritual practice. Why you need to focus on these things is because you need to be aware of what you're doing where going and not be blind spot. Sometimes we just focus so much on winning that we forget about everything else. Yes. And Eddie, that is a brilliant point. You bring up awareness, being self-aware. And again, we try talk about sports concepts because it's what we do. And we call that watching game film. So being aware, if a guy comes to us and he's like, oh my goodness, I am Tom, I am so stressed out, my wife, she's just being, she's, my kids aren't listening to me. My business is struggling. So we step back. Okay, so let's watch some game film, Mr. Smith. And if I were to follow you for a day and we're recording everything from when you get up to when you go to bed and we were to watch some game film of your life, a day in the life of you, what are we going to see? Are there any patterns that are going to emerge that are problematic? Are there some habits that you got yourself into that aren't in your best interest. That don't serve you. That don't serve you? Let's go back and watch some game film. And then when we talk to guys about this, we're like, wow. I said, so if we were to watch you a day in a life of you, are you going to be happy? Are you going to be embarrassed by some of the stuff you're doing? Are you out too much? Are you out too long or you're out too often? Are you drinking too much? Are you being a dick to your spouse? Or do your kids know that you absolutely love them? Let's watch what you're doing on a daily basis. Are you being aware, as you say, of what you are doing to create this angst in your life? And so sometimes when you put it like that, and it heightens their awareness, Eddie, of what is going on. So maybe they could start to do certain things, create some new algorithms, is what we kind of call them. Create some new algorithms in your life that won't create this angst and this burnout and this anxiety that you're experiencing. So we call it being aware in our, because we like to bring everything back to sports, is we say, let's watch some game film. Let's go to the tail of the tape. Let's go Warner Wolf. Let's go to the videotape. Here's one of my favorites. By the way, all these people from who maybe watching who aren't from New York or Connecticut, because he used to be in the wouldn't know who Warner Wolf is, but Google it or watching my hit, you'll find them somewhere. Yeah. Well, Tom, listen, I've asked you a lot of questions. We've had a great talk about a lot of inspirational things and skills that people could use and strategies for them to improve. Is there anything I haven't asked you about that you want to talk about? No, but I'm going to tell you a story. Please. To end. And a lot of people have said to me, tell me a story about your mentor, your dad, that kind of resonates. And so I always go to one that doesn't have to do with winning a game. So it's probably 2005 or 2006. My dad's got a team who's 26 in. Oh, one of the best teams he's ever had. They get to the state championship and they lose the state championship at the buzzer, big upset. So there's a few thousand people who are at the game, and a local television station comes up to my dad after the game, and the reporter says, coach, what do you tell your players after a devastating defeat like that? And he says, well, I'm going to tell them that I'm so proud of them for the great season they had. I'm going to tell them that they played so hard. Games don't always go your way, but the sun tomorrow is going to shine. So he says that without any thought. While he's saying that, watching this interview is a guy by the name of Jim Bransfield, who is in Yale New Haven Hospital. He's sitting at the bedside of his son, Dana. And Jim was so impacted by my father's quick speech after the game, he wrote my dad a note. And what he wrote in the note was, this was on a Saturday. He wrote in the note, coach Monte, I saw your interview. Your words really touched me because I'm sitting here in a hospital room with my son Dana, who's 14 years old and is dying of leukemia. And the perspective you put into my head about, it's okay, you lost, the sun's going to come up tomorrow. That really impacted me. And so he sends a note to my dad. My dad gets a note on a Tuesday, and then on Wednesday, a nurse comes up to Jim Bransfield in the hospital room because they were there and his wife were there full time because it was the end of the road for Dana. And the nurse says to Jim, Jim, there's someone in the lobby that wants to come up and see Dana. So Jim says, so Jim goes down to the lobby, it's my dad and Jim, this story was written, became known because Jim was a sports writer, and he wrote a letter to the editor a few months later, wanted everyone to know this story. He says, I go down into the lobby and there's Coach Monte, but Coach Montelli didn't come alone. He says he brought his entire team. Oh, wow. And he had a basketball signed by all of the players. He had flowers for my wife, and he had a set of rosary beads for Dana. So the doctors wouldn't let the entire team come up to the floor to see Dana. But they let my dad go up. My dad spent some valuable time with Dana, and three days later, Dana passed away. But I tell that story, Eddie, because it encapsulates so much. There's a devastating loss in a game. My father puts it in perspective, but then this is what he did. His whole team came to the hospital. And that, I think is a story that speaks volumes about serving others, handling defeats the right way, being a world-class leader. So thanks for letting me share that story because I think it's. A terrific story. No, that's great. It's very touching. Yeah. And it's a story, Eddie, that my father never wanted to be out there. He didn't expect any accolades from this. Yeah. He didn't do it to be recognized. Yeah. Absolutely. And Jim Bransfield just was so touched by the thing that he wrote an article in the little newspaper that he was a sports columnist in detailing this scenario and the story, and that's kind of how it blew up. But I think for your listeners, I think that's a good story, whether you're a sports fan or whether you're not a sports fan, I think that story makes you think. Yes, sir. Yes, sir. Well, Tom, listen, I really appreciate your time. I'm very touched and moved by your dad's history and how much he loved the world and how much he gave of himself to the world. I am striving to live up to those types of ideals to impact people's lives. Me too. In a meaningful Well. Yes, absolutely. Thank you so much for your time today. I will tell you this, you are a really terrific person. I can tell that. And I loved the time we spent together, so thank you very much for this opportunity. I appreciate. It. I appreciate you, Tom. I will be in touch with you, my friend. 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