Step into the ring with us on this hard-hitting episode of Raw Mines, the podcast dedicated to chiseling away at the stigma surrounding men's mental health. I'm Eric, joined by my co-host Joey, and together we're ready to bring you another raw and unflinching look into the struggles that men face in silence.
Today, in Episode 21, titled "Under the Limelight: Aiden's Crusade Against Conformity," we're honored to introduce a very special guest, my long-time friend Aiden. As someone who has grappled with the weight of expectations on his journey to becoming a wrestler, Aiden is no stranger to the spotlight—or the shadows it casts.
In an industry where the line between persona and personhood is often blurred, Aiden sheds light on the stress and peer pressure that hides behind the entertainment's dazzling veneer. He'll share the real pain behind the performative bravado, and how he's fighting to stay true to himself amidst the demands to fit a certain mold.
From the trials of training to the adrenaline of the arena, Aiden opens up about the psychological toll of living up to a macho image and the inner strength required to defy the norms. It's a conversation that's as much about the battles in the ring as it is about those waged within the mind.
Join us as we navigate the struggles of identity, resilience, and the courage to break free from the pressures of conformity. This is more than just a tell-all; it's a call to arms for anyone who's ever felt the weight of the world on their shoulders and wondered how to carry it.
Don't forget to subscribe to Raw Mines for this and all our episodes, where we dig deep into the bedrock of men's mental health issues. Listen in as we join forces with Aiden in his crusade against conformity, and remember, in the fight for mental wellness, no one goes at it alone.
Tune in to "Under the Limelight: Aiden's Crusade Against Conformity," and let's get ready to break down walls and build up hope. Because when the lights go down, it's our shared truths that shine the brightest.
Step into the ring with us on this hard-hitting episode of Raw Mines, the podcast dedicated to chiseling away at the stigma surrounding men's mental health. I'm Eric, joined by my co-host Joey, and together we're ready to bring you another raw and unflinching look into the struggles that men face in silence.
Today, in Episode 21, titled "Under the Limelight: Aiden's Crusade Against Conformity," we're honored to introduce a very special guest, my long-time friend Aiden. As someone who has grappled with the weight of expectations on his journey to becoming a wrestler, Aiden is no stranger to the spotlight—or the shadows it casts.
In an industry where the line between persona and personhood is often blurred, Aiden sheds light on the stress and peer pressure that hides behind the entertainment's dazzling veneer. He'll share the real pain behind the performative bravado, and how he's fighting to stay true to himself amidst the demands to fit a certain mold.
From the trials of training to the adrenaline of the arena, Aiden opens up about the psychological toll of living up to a macho image and the inner strength required to defy the norms. It's a conversation that's as much about the battles in the ring as it is about those waged within the mind.
Join us as we navigate the struggles of identity, resilience, and the courage to break free from the pressures of conformity. This is more than just a tell-all; it's a call to arms for anyone who's ever felt the weight of the world on their shoulders and wondered how to carry it.
Don't forget to subscribe to Raw Mines for this and all our episodes, where we dig deep into the bedrock of men's mental health issues. Listen in as we join forces with Aiden in his crusade against conformity, and remember, in the fight for mental wellness, no one goes at it alone.
Tune in to "Under the Limelight: Aiden's Crusade Against Conformity," and let's get ready to break down walls and build up hope. Because when the lights go down, it's our shared truths that shine the brightest.
welcome back everybody. It is a brand new night, a brand new show. Thank you all for tuning in. Once again, we are unedited, unfiltered and we are going raw. My name is Joey.
Speaker 1:And I'm Eric and we're your hosts and welcome to Raw Minds 21.
Speaker 2:Episode 21,. My friend, episode 21.
Speaker 1:What did they say?
Speaker 2:You just said it before we started here 90% of people who do podcasts do not make it past episode 23.
Speaker 1:There we go.
Speaker 2:We'll be way far past that. Oh, we go on all the way to the end, buddy, we'll be doing this. Yeah, buddy, I'm excited, as always Every time we sit here. Man, it's great.
Speaker 1:It's awesome. So how are you man? How's your weekend?
Speaker 2:going Mine. Yeah, it's good man. Usually I have my kids three days a week and this weekend I had no kids for the first time in like probably a year.
Speaker 1:I know you're saying that Go to family's house for sleepovers.
Speaker 2:I had no idea what to do with myself. Very weird, very weird, very weird.
Speaker 1:Did you get some good me time in then, I guess?
Speaker 2:Yeah, if you want to call it that. You know the gym as usual and went out for dinner. That's pretty much it, though, but went and visited my family. But I'm a chill guy man. I don't really, you know, as you get older and you got kids, man, you don't really. You know what I mean.
Speaker 1:We ain't popping bottles like we used to let's face it too it's expensive, we can't afford that anymore.
Speaker 2:Dude, I don't even really drink that much and I had a couple with a friend on Saturday and it wasn't even that much and I was just feeling shitty all the next day. I'm like this is why I don't do this anymore.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I hear you.
Speaker 2:I hear you.
Speaker 1:And then the hangover is even worse, right the next day, because you're getting old man.
Speaker 2:It's not like you're 22 going to the club till 2.30 and then getting up at 6 and going to work yeah, and then doing it all Like nothing, like nothing. I used to do that religiously dude Like oh yeah, thursdays.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Then you'd always look at the clock. And then you'd look at the clock and you're like damn it, I got to work in five hours. If I leave now, I can sleep for four.
Speaker 1:And then an hour later still last call.
Speaker 2:You're like hey, I can get three hours sleep if I leave now. Then by the time you get home you're like I'm going to be up in an hour and a half. This sucks, I might as well not sleep Pretty much Now. Fuck dude, I have four drinks, man, and I feel it all day. Eat like shit. Don't go to the gym.
Speaker 1:I'm like man, I can't do this shit, no more. Man, do you find that it even affects your mental health a little bit? Slows you down?
Speaker 2:it's depressing yeah, definitely I and you're fucking overthinking dumb shit, and you know, because it's the alcohol. And that's why, when we go through the shit that we go through, like drinking is the worst thing you can do, especially when you're like heartbroken, really down, life's kicking you in the face because it's it's. It's a depressant yeah, and when you wake up and you're by yourself and you're thinking like that or you're already struggling, it just fucking escalates it by like 100 times. When you're hungover as well, your brain's all fucked up.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's why I don't like drinking man, because usually I just feel very low. I feel like I'm just like getting pulled down to the ground the next day. Try to stay away as much as possible, like you said.
Speaker 2:I just heard this the other day you are borrowing time from the next day.
Speaker 1:Yeah, definitely.
Speaker 2:And drinking because you've now given up. When you feel shitty, you're not motivated, motivated. I've just borrowed and wasted half of my day or the whole day on being productive because I couldn't get out of bed and I'm eating fucking mcdonald's cheeseburgers from skip the dishes yeah, exactly I'm not cooking nothing. Man fuck, I got a headache yeah, yeah, getting that grease in Once in a while, it's okay. For me, it's like if I'm getting turned up which is rare it's because I'm on a vacation or it's my birthday. That's it, man.
Speaker 1:That was a good time with your birthday man. I was dancing on tables. You were dancing on tables.
Speaker 2:It was a good old time Reliving our youth. Reliving our youth, reliving are you not gonna lie, it was fun. It was fun, yeah, but that's a few. Yeah, it's very rare. Now it's a fault. You know you gotta stay away from the partying and the drinking and being able to get up early and being productive and focusing on the important things in your life, right, yeah, man.
Speaker 2:If you're starting a business. You got to keep your head in the books, man, you got to hustle. You got to do all these things and you know there's nothing wrong with having a couple of drinks. But, man, until you get to where you want to be in your life, man, you got to put all that shit aside, then you can put your feet up. Man, life man, you got to put all that shit aside, then you can put your feet up. Man, if you're not where you want to be in your life, you shouldn't be sitting there watching back-to-back episodes of fucking love is blind and fucking.
Speaker 2:You know what I mean, yeah you're just wasting your days and then feeling shitty about yourself because you're not where you want to be. But you're not putting in the work either exactly so people are too distracted these days, right?
Speaker 1:so what's the phone right? The phone destroys the number one thing. Man you're, I mean I'm still I get stuck scrolling on fucking nonsense.
Speaker 2:Man, it's a fucking mindful device what it is tiktok will have you sitting in your car, in your own driveway, for 45 extra minutes because I haven't gone out of the car yet I'm like I can't do this shit, man, I've got to turn this off.
Speaker 1:Meanwhile, we're live on TikTok right now.
Speaker 2:All the irony right.
Speaker 1:The irony. Well, we have a great special guest today. I would say he's a great friend of mine. We go way back. We got a funny story of how we met. Actually he's been in the movie industry, he's been in wrestling and other than that he's just a great friend of mine. So, other than other, let's introduce Aiden.
Speaker 3:welcome Aiden hey, thank you guys for having me. I appreciate it welcome sir welcome. Yeah, yeah, it's. It's been a while since we met, hey, erica yeah it's quite. That's quite a story actually.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3:Do you want to start off maybe about you probably could tell a bit about how we met and where we are. Yeah, there was an Asian after hours downtown Vancouver. I had Granville and Robson, basically downstairs at Inlingua, I think it was 816, granville, yeah, and we would open up the club at like midnight. I was bouncing there and it would run until 7 am and it's like you know, it's like ns, ns, ns, ns and it was mostly like pot growers and like escort girls down there, but very like 95% Asian, and so the dancing wasn't very good, but it was always, but it was always a interesting guy.
Speaker 3:Yeah, so there would be a the one the one night. It was probably pushing 6am and I'm just like, wait, they get off work. You know, leaning up on the bar, just like kind of hawking and watching, like you do. And, and here comes over Eric, he's just like, hey bro, uh, what are you doing tomorrow? I'm like introduced himself and I said, actually I'm moving. And uh, he's like, oh fuck, he goes. Well, I'll give you a hand if you want. And I'm like, yeah, right I'm mangled too, yeah and he's, he's out of his tits.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I don't know what you were doing, but but you definitely didn't look sober.
Speaker 1:All the A's, anyway the whole alphabet, brother.
Speaker 3:Right, yeah, A to Z, yeah, and so I write down my address for him. At sure as shit, 10 am there. He is fucking still A to Z, right there at my door and he helped me move man. He helped me load up and unload and pack the whole thing. He was like man. We've been pals ever since. We've been friends since that's got to be over a decade ago now.
Speaker 1:Well, I gave you my word, right? I only have my word in the balls man.
Speaker 3:I didn't expect him to show up. I was hoping he would, but I didn't expect him to. Yeah and sure as shit, there he is. Yeah, so you know. You can tell that's a good-natured fellow. He's got a good heart right from the start, you know.
Speaker 1:Thank you.
Speaker 3:If you come through on something like that, then yeah, so it's always appreciated. I always appreciated Eric and his friendship.
Speaker 1:Yeah, man, thank you, appreciate that.
Speaker 2:And yeah, like we said, we've go ahead, Joey. No, no, go ahead, buddy.
Speaker 1:No, I'm just saying, ever since then, man, we've just been close friends. I mean, we know, we still keep in contact. And it feels like nothing's gone away right.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it's like one of those friendships, like if I haven't talked to you in a half year or whatever haven't seen you for we haven't seen each other in quite a while. But it's just like. You know, it's five minutes has passed, you know, we're still just pick up right where we were. Uh, that's the sign of a good relationship and friendship, whatever you want to call it, you know I love you brother yeah, I love you too bro yeah, 100.
Speaker 2:I got a few friends like that as well, where you, you know it's life and it's not that you don't care, not that you don't love them, it's just the way your life rolls out. And you know, one of my good friends doesn't have kids but he's married and he's traveling all the time and work. So you know, for guys it's a little different. Girls, they're talking to their best friends fucking eight times a day, no matter what. But for us guys but like you said, aiden is like you just got those boys and like there's good people like you just pick up, like it, like you just seen them yesterday, yeah exactly you know that's, I mean, that's how.
Speaker 3:I thought of it yeah, there we go, get this out of my eyes.
Speaker 2:But that shows you know the kind of people you want in your life. To have those kind of people. Yeah, as much as you want to, Exactly you know Exactly, yeah.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it's just like a very comfortable conversation and we can talk to get into anything deep or or just surface or whatever, it doesn't matter. It's like, uh, it's just, you know, we can talk about anything and there's never, an issue you know and just be brutally honest, which, uh, which we all seem to be, you know, yeah that's what we need and that's true friendship right now.
Speaker 1:You know, I mean, yeah, it is, you know, being honest, and your friend's fucking up, you're like you're a fucking idiot, but I, I still love you, yeah, exactly.
Speaker 3:You know what I mean Exactly. That's true love right there, man.
Speaker 1:I was going to lose that light. Yeah, no, worries, it's fucking with me. So do you want to kind of give like a background story about where you've come and conquered?
Speaker 3:Yeah, sure, sure, yeah, sure, sure, okay. So, um, my father was a pro wrestler and, uh, I didn't really know. You know, it's way back. I was born in 72, I'm 51. So, um, I'm like five years old and my dad's watching stampede wrestling on tv and I'm sit down beside him. I'm like you know who are you cheering for? He's like nobody, they didn't understand. Like you know, like what? It didn't make sense to me. And then a couple of Saturdays go by and I sit down, he's watching TV and I look at the TV and it's him on the TV wrestling. I'm like what the hell? And so I'm like then I discovered my dad was a wrestler and so then it kind of kind of became like an obsession from then.
Speaker 3:It's like basically at five I decided I was going to do it and then eventually it happened, eventually I got into it and I went through Stu Hart's dungeon at Stu Hart's house in Calgary and then I went from there I went to Bret Hart's house for WCW.
Speaker 3:That was right after I don't know if you guys know anything about wrestling, but after the Bret Hart's Montreal Screwjob, then the camp downtown at BJ's Gym went from a WWE camp to a WCW camp and it went to Bret Hart's house in Dalhousie in Calgary and so I trained there for about a half a year or so for WCW. We got a tryout in Winnipeg and none of us got a contract out of that. I don't think anybody you know from the guys that went through the camp when it was WWF or WWE right before us was like Christian Edge, mark Henry, ken Shamrock. There was a few guys Edge, pardon me, test. There was a bunch of guys who got signed the last 12 guys of the cap. Basically all got signed right before that it went to WCW and then it went to WCW and none of us got signed. It was the same cap.
Speaker 1:Was it harder? Harder Is that? Why? No, it's just the company.
Speaker 3:No, it was just the company. No, it was the office of the companies. Oh, okay, it was very WCW was very disorganized apparently. So you would say that your dad kind of paved the way for you to start your career. Yeah, it's like you, yeah when you see your dad on TV doing something. Man, that's awesome man you want to be, you know everybody you want to be like your dad.
Speaker 1:You know if she's like dad's out there kicking ass. You're like fuck yeah, I want to be like my dad kicking ass right, yeah, so, yeah, um, that's kind of how it started out, yeah, how, um, like, the challenges of going through that was it like? Was it? Did it pay a toll on you, like physically, mentally? Definitely about physically, yeah, yeah, when I first started.
Speaker 3:Uh, I was very, very dedicated to my fitness. Did it pay a toll on you, like physically, mentally? Definitely Physically. Yeah, yeah, when I first started I was very, very dedicated to my fitness, to my health, to making it as a wrestler, and going through the camp I was totally straight edge. I didn't smoke, I didn't drink, I didn't smoke dope, and I had been doing all that up to that point and then I quit and went clean and then got a job, went out wrestling and then we were out on the road and that didn't last long staying clean, because, you know, all the boys are getting high, all the boys are getting drunk, all the boys are out in the bar having fun every night after the show. And it was just, you know, it's chasing skirts and that's just kind of was the culture, and so you didn't have to do it. I still went out and hung out. But then eventually we'll have a beer, well, I'll have a percocet.
Speaker 3:Well, I'll have a fosoma yeah, we'll fucking, let's have a raw line of coke, whatever, and yeah, and then it's. Uh, it's just like you know everything from steroids to fucking, you name it man it's like you were saying before is uh, it's just like was is basically the culture.
Speaker 1:He was back in those days and you adopt that too, because everybody around you is like that, Like that, saying show me your friends and I'll tell you who. You are right, you start adapting that.
Speaker 3:Yeah, your environment affects you, of course. And then you're in the van with these guys from town to town. So sometimes you're like five, eight hours a day in a minivan traveling to the next shot, to the next show, right yeah, and so you're literally engulfed in that. You're in that bubble, you know, and so you know. I have fought it off for a while but eventually we ice came. Yeah and yeah, just like you said, said yeah, like the environment really affects you yeah, yeah, just like in.
Speaker 1:Like in. When you have a relationship and you've been with that partner for for a long time, you kind of mold into each other, right, because you pick up their kind of morph yeah, exactly that's why they say two hearts become one right kind of like that.
Speaker 3:but yeah, you guys are wrestlers, so there's, it's a little yeah there wasn't a lot of heart in there, but there was a lot of practical jokes. We call them ribs in wrestling. So a lot of practical jokes, and we had a lot of fun man, don't get me wrong, it was a hell of a lot of fun. Yeah, yeah, a lot of stress too, you got 12 or 15 guys, yeah well, yeah, a lot of stress too. You got 12 or 15 guys, yeah, well, it's. You know you got to perform If you don't work you don't get paid.
Speaker 3:Yeah, you know, it's just like any other job too. Like sometimes I got to wrestle, let's say I got to wrestle Joey tonight, but maybe I don't like Joey and fucking but Joey's going to win tonight. But I'm a veteran and so maybe I'm going to make fucking Joey's going to pay for his way tonight. You know what I mean, yeah, and so especially the veterans were kind of more like they'll knuckle you up and be harder on you. Yeah, especially if you're the young hotshot which I kind of was, you know. Yeah, so I had the long, glowing Fabio hair and you know it was a style at the time, yeah, so, yeah, so, yeah, yeah, so, um, this you know some of the veterans picked on me and you know you got beat up once in a while, not like not not beaten like a street fight, beaten but yeah, but thumped out like a lot harder than thrown around harder than necessary.
Speaker 3:Yeah, tossed around and it's like knuckled up harder than, like you know, body, slammed on the dance floor instead of in the ring, kind of shit like yeah um, yeah, so um and then I I get, did you get? Did you get hurt a lot too well like yeah, a couple times I got hurt pretty pretty good.
Speaker 3:Uh, my sciatica that that that body slam of the dance floor fucked me up pretty bad yeah it was sciatica in the back and then broken hand, like broken fingers, nose, toes, like that was pretty common. Um, um, what else? Oh, I have like, uh, my shoulder. I. I tore my pec, my delt, in my bicep on his buddy on a suplex. He was about 25 pounds bigger than me but he was all like muscle jacked up and he went um just like a half a second quicker than I was expecting for him to go, and so I was my arm loose on his head and he reared back like you know how, like a horse would rear.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 3:He reared back and he just like pulled my whole shoulder apart or whatever, oh damn. So that took me out for almost a year actually.
Speaker 1:I remember you heard it again too, when you were bouncing at the basement there and you picked up the yeah, yeah, oh yeah.
Speaker 3:I broke my arm in that one. Yeah, yeah, there was a couple times you got car keys between the eyes. Ding, yeah, my night off when I was all Eric'd up down there and then it went down to my night off and if you check it out, you walk down the strobe lights boop, boop, boop, yeah. And then you're looking to see. You see that one bouncer. He's like fighting off you know a gang of Asians. He's like kind of holding them back with almost like his arm up like a shield. So I just yell up the stairs security. And then I listened to it and I could hear the boots, all the boys running downstairs. So I go around to check into the dance floor and ding right between the eyes, oh, my God.
Speaker 3:There's like a like a whole boat the size of a dime and I was you. I was all hopped up on goofballs myself. So I remember going to the hospital to get stitches or whatever. I remember Ian, big Ian. I'm like, is it bad they stopped? The music lights turned on. I'm like, is it bad he goes. I can see your skull. So I'm like, fuck, I got into the hospital. So, yeah, yeah, yeah. So it was like you know, I can fit my finger in it Crazy. Yeah, there was a. Yeah, it's been a wild ride, bro. Yeah, I see that.
Speaker 1:Well, and then you do acting too, so I think that's awesome, man. You got how many movies out there?
Speaker 3:you said Well, I went into. I went for like a WWE tryout in Calgary at the Saddle Dome versus Steven Riegel and he was really, really high and his eyes were like fucking frying pans and he wouldn't even talk to me. He was so high, and so that's kind of what that synopsis movie is about is about that whole tryout.
Speaker 3:So I didn't get a contract. So I'm like, well, fuck it, I gonna move to vancouver and see if I could become a stunt actor. You know, yeah, because wwe was kind of the only the only game in town really at the time. So I moved over to vancouver and uh get into stunt acting. Then I actually uh ended up landing more acting roles than um, than stunt acting roles. So I just kind of went with it. I just kind of did both and so, I don't know, I have like 20, some IMDB credits or whatever, and then probably another 20 like independent movies, things or whatever.
Speaker 3:So I did you know quite a bit quite a bit you know, yeah, you did that.
Speaker 1:Bane, you did Bane, you did Bane. That was awesome yeah.
Speaker 3:I played Bane in a comic, independent comic book kind of knockoff thing.
Speaker 1:Yeah, the old school kind of Bane. That was the cool one with it running through and stuff.
Speaker 3:Yeah, the hoses running out of my head into my arm or whatever. Yeah, so what?
Speaker 1:would you say would probably be the hardest struggle going through your whole like wrestling career. What would you say would be like the hardest.
Speaker 3:Well, it was a little different back then because it was like trying to get a job at a bigger company was a lot more difficult because there wasn't Internet. It's before cell phones, basically before internet. You know, there was just starting to cap and then and so getting yourself into a bigger spot was like very, very difficult, or getting noticed by anybody was very difficult. The wear and tear on the body like you're getting, you know it's, it's a hundred percent, it's predetermined, but it's you can't think gravity, man, you're still getting knocked around. It's like hockey or football or anything else. You're getting knocked around, especially for wrestling.
Speaker 3:I was an average-sized guy. Right now I'm like I'm 250, six foot, and some of these guys are just like they're throwing you around like you're a child. There's some big, you know, 6'8", 350. They're like giants, man, yeah, and so you know you're, you're taking a lot of wear and tear, and then it's, you're on the road. So you, you're taking your t3s or whatever it works or whatever else you can uh get your hands on to self-medicate from town to town and to be able to get out there and do it again, um, to try to get noticed, yeah, and so it's kind of a vicious cycle.
Speaker 1:That way you know yes, yeah, so you're, you're medicating to keep on pushing yourself. Uh, but then when you're pushing yourself, you're hurting yourself.
Speaker 3:So then you gotta medicate and keep on going and going and going yeah, vicious circle yeah and definitely that that would affect your, your mental health definitely yeah, yeah, and I was like you know I I always got along with the boys pretty well For the most part. I was kind of, you know, I was a champion of three different companies, like heavyweight champ, but three local companies, so like kind of champ of Alberta, kind of thing or whatever back then.
Speaker 3:So I was like I was kind of on the upper crust of the independents, yeah, but having said that, I'm still making $100 a night man. It's like you're starving out there. You're not. You know people think you're making good money. You're not. You know your accommodation is paid, your travel is paid, but you still got to buy your own food. Yeah, you still got to buy your own gym, your own tanning.
Speaker 1:Da, da, da, and $100 doesn't go very far in a day when you're on the road. Well, yeah, you're only making real money when you get big right. Tv contract, yeah, tv contract.
Speaker 3:Yeah, no idea.
Speaker 1:If you're already famous.
Speaker 3:Sorry, if you're already famous and you have a name, then going back down to the minors, then you can still make good money, but back then. But yeah, it's a tough road, that's for sure.
Speaker 2:When you started to give in to that kind of peer pressure. You know, when you're out on the road with the guys and you're brushing it off for the first while and then you're like you said I'm going to have a beer, then it turns into this and it turns into a line of coke on line of coke. Do you, did you, uh, ever get to a point where really you started to?
Speaker 3:it started to really affect your wrestling career, or you found yourself just kind of falling off to the point of out of control, in a way um or high functioning maybe, yeah, kind of high functioning for for a long period of time, for maybe a year or two.
Speaker 3:And then I was almost like getting out of wrestling and doing more construction because I was getting higher paying construction jobs, like doing piece work. I'm a T-bar guy, so I would like get pretty, you know, pretty decent money for hanging T-bar in Calgary. So that's really when I started to come off the you know off the rails because I, you know, I'm, you know, at 30 years old, I'm making 10 a month. And so I'm, I'm in the Coke, I'm in the G, I'm in the perks, I'm in the fucking catamine, I'm in the vodka, I'm in everything. And then, um, that's when Eddie Guerrero passed.
Speaker 3:I don't know if you know, Eddie Guerrero died and that hit me like a fucking, because I was on that path man, and it hit me like a ton of bricks and that's actually. I just like, broke down, quit everything packed up, moved to Vancouver to try to get into stunt acting. So it was right after my tryout, really shortly in 2005.
Speaker 1:So that was the breaking point.
Speaker 3:That was the breaking point. Yeah, eddie Guerdie, grill was like actually my wake-up call. It's like you're on that same path like I was. You know, sometimes I'm surprised. I always wake up and I'm, I was, shocked to realize I was alive.
Speaker 1:And then realize I was at home for one.
Speaker 3:That's like uh, I was, I was doing, I was going to work and then I was like I was so high and wasted at work that I didn't tell I couldn't stay on a scaffold. I'd be up there kind of tap dancing around. I was too wasted and I'd have to jump off to land on my feet because I was too fucked up and I'd go okay, well, I'll go home, drive home and then go back and work again the next day. And I was still getting my work done, I was still getting paid.
Speaker 1:So, like you said, functioning, functioning, yeah, but but yeah, way offside man, way way offside.
Speaker 2:When you uh got that wake-up call and you realized that you needed to change, did you have a support? Did you just cold turkey and said that's enough? Or did you do a rehab or?
Speaker 3:no, no, no, support, no, nothing. Uh, just I just like mentally was a break, I think it was like I would just I just burst into tears and it was just like a pull the pin and off I went.
Speaker 1:I need something new.
Speaker 3:I got to go. Enough is enough, I got to go. And I, just, I, just, I figured uproot try something else. And I went out to Vancouver to try the stunt acting.
Speaker 1:See, I can relate to that. Well, you met me when I was near my end of my wild stages where I was partying all the time, just getting crazy. I was hanging out with the wrong crowd, right, and then for my wake-up, it was my daughter, right.
Speaker 1:I got a phone call right in the middle of selling drugs actually, and and that changed my life right and I, I walked away. At that moment I just said, nope, that's it, cold, torqued everything, told my buddy, I'm done, keep everything. And I walked away from it. You know it is like, because I saw like if I keep on doing that path, you know it usually only has two roads, man and, and both of them have a dead end at the end of it. You know, and that's not what I wanted in the same sense, what you were looking at with eddie, right, you know you're going down that path. You know, and, yeah, what would happen to him and who knows, that could be you right, so good on you for realizing that, yeah, I was close, I think yeah, I think it.
Speaker 2:It. You know most people that are doing things they know they probably shouldn't and know they need to change, never do until something really happens in their life that brings them to their knees and or a close call or an overdose or you know something, is that eye opener and sometimes we need that. There's got to be that fulcrum.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:You know like for me.
Speaker 3:TSA turning point.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we, like you guys said, I was the same way when I was younger dude. I was DJing in a strip bar and on a two-way mirror and strippers were doing rails in my DJ booth. I'm drinking every night because I'm DJing. I was going to university at the time and I would get up every morning high-functioning because I was young. This was 20 years ago and I'd go to school at 6 30 in the morning till 2 30. I'd sleep from quarter to three till 6 30 at night and then go back to the bar and fucking do it again from 7 30 till 2 30 in the morning and my turning point was is uh, when I dj'd, you could run a tab and it would come off your paychecks, right, so you?
Speaker 1:will you will have two weeks.
Speaker 2:Every, every night or, and especially, DJing in a strip bar. Every week is a new rotation of girls, right? So the staff's like, oh, what girls do we got next week? It's fucking drinking, you know. And after I finished school I kept DJing for a while so I didn't have to get up anymore. Where's the after party on a Tuesday? Joey's house. And then, oh, I'll buy a round, don't worry, it's on my tab. Put it on my tab. And then the biggest eye-opener was I got a two-week check and it was $4. Fuck, $4.
Speaker 1:And. I'm like yeah, stiff, yeah, can't even buy milk.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you, you, you got to slow down here, yeah. You know what I mean. So it definitely takes something big for people.
Speaker 1:That was the kicker.
Speaker 2:For the, for the partying part of the of my life.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:That was the, that was the kicker. I'm like I gotta, and then I moved back.
Speaker 1:I went to school out of town.
Speaker 2:Was that a rent check? Yeah, what's that?
Speaker 1:was it a redneck?
Speaker 2:that that that was pretty much all my bills. On that joke, it's convenient, yeah, yeah, but you know it's young and, like you said, adan, back then it was one of the best times of my life. Yeah, but I even woke up some days and went how the fuck are you still alive? Yeah, you know so, but it takes these things that we go through in life sometimes it really hit you and be like and that eye-opener, that to change, and most people won't change until something happens yeah yeah, there has to be a little cromer, it's not our own trauma or something.
Speaker 3:Yeah, rock bottom or something has to be, enough is enough, or I'm just like sick of my own shit. You get sick enough of your own shit and finally had enough of it and make a change. You know, you know, and that's a great lesson, but the most important thing is that you make the change.
Speaker 2:Yeah, every one of us has done dumb shit. Every one of us has, you know, made mistakes. We're human. I'm still doing dumb shit.
Speaker 1:I was going to say yeah, we all make mistakes.
Speaker 2:Like I said, we're human man. We're going to make mistakes as we go, not as dumb as we used to when we were younger. Now I look at some of the shit that these kids do. Even though I did it, I'm like you're a fucking idiot, like dude, don't do that shit, don't be like me. Yeah, yeah, you know, and I was it, I was able. After that four dollar check when I moved back, I ended up working in group homes with high-risk youth, trying to help them not do the dumb shit that I used to do.
Speaker 3:And hopefully this will help that as well Like just you know people, being aware that you know life doesn't have to be like that and it shouldn't be Like it's nothing wrong with going out and having fun. But if that's your 70s week, like it was for me, it was like you're on a train to destruction. You're on a night train of doom and sooner or later, odds are something bad is going to happen, and I'm sure we've all been there too, right, yeah?
Speaker 2:Yeah, there's no good ever going to come out of that path ever. No, no, no, you know so it's. But yeah, definitely it takes something huge for people to make that change. But the important thing is that you recognize it and also you got to be able and most people won't is look in the mirror and take accountability for your own choices, the mistakes that you made. It's okay to say that that was my fault. I fucked up or I am fucked up. You know we talk about this constantly on the show and and encourage it is taking accountability and admitting that you're fucked up it's okay.
Speaker 1:It's okay if you.
Speaker 2:If you're, if you're not right, if you're struggling even if it was your own personal choices to get you to where you are, like, say, the drug path or the alcohol path, you can still make that change, you can still get out of that. But you have to be able to look at yourself in the mirror and say I need help, I need to talk to somebody, I need to fix this, because it is a path of destruction. And not only are you killing yourself or might end up dead, and not only are you killing yourself or might end up dead. Is the butterfly effect that that will have when you are gone, or what you're even doing to yourself, to your family, your kids, the ripple, your friends, like the damages that cause. It goes so far beyond just you.
Speaker 1:We have no idea really, sometimes.
Speaker 3:Yeah, exactly, it's hard to copy can't comprehend the ripple effect that you know your, your co-workers, your, your peers, your family, whatever like in your, your, your current relationships, your relationships that could be. That won't be because you're fucking up, you know, yeah, and taking accountability, that's like you know, admitting, admitting that you're fucked up, is kind of the first step, really, isn't it? Yeah, man, you have to realize it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not their fault, it's my fault, it's my actions. I'm the one that's done it and I'm the one that's doing it, I'm the one that needs to change it yeah.
Speaker 3:And that's when you're releasing that shit.
Speaker 1:That's when you're releasing those bags out of your backpack. Like we say, you know, once you take accountability, you know. Then, finally, you're letting go of this weight that you've been holding on to Burden yeah, yeah, exactly.
Speaker 1:And your subconscious mind right, like you don't really know what your subconscious mind has really got going on there, but I mean it's replaying all these different things that has affected you, and until you can actually like push that out and say, yeah, you know what it, it was my fault, it was that then you then it'll start releasing, you know, and you'll feel a lot lighter and a lot better about yourself well that that was the same for me, right like it's.
Speaker 2:You know, when things happen in your life, like anybody, it's so easy to point fingers to make yourself feel better. Well, that relationship ended because she did this and that happened to me because of them, and I'm where I am in my life because of them. No, you are where you are in your life because of you not because of what happened to you. It's not because of what happened to you.
Speaker 3:It's not because of what happened to you, right? So cause your parents are because of this, because of that. So you were we. You know we're all big, but we're big boys. Now we gotta, you know, take responsibility for ourselves, right.
Speaker 1:Exactly man.
Speaker 2:A million percent of people play the victim card their whole life because I'm like that, or I've met even girls in my past like, well, I'm sorry, I'm like this. It's because of this, 10 years ago.
Speaker 3:Like fix it, Get over it.
Speaker 1:Get over it, fix it.
Speaker 2:And most people just make excuses.
Speaker 1:Victim mentality bro.
Speaker 2:So they can keep acting like that and that victim mentality and I tell you it'll get you nowhere and you're going to end up alone and all you're going to do is hurt people along the way and, like we always say, you're going to bleed on people that didn't touch you 100% Hurt people hurt people, man, yeah, until you can look at yourself in the mirror and take that accountability for the shit that you've done. But most people won't, because they're embarrassed. I don't want them to think I'm fucked up, well you don't want them to think you're fucked up, but you're going to stay fucked up instead.
Speaker 3:And they know, they know and you know, but you don't want to admit it because it's fucking hard to admit, man, it's hard to admit that you're fucked up or you're wrong, but that's the measure of a man, really.
Speaker 1:You got to be able to stand up on your own two feet and say hey man, I your own two feet and say, hey man, I fucked up, I'm sorry, or whatever you gotta do. You know, yeah, to figure it out, make it better even reaching out for help, getting counseling, doing whatever you need to. I mean, I I had my first counseling session last week, you know, and it went great, blew my mind good. You know I'm doing it, I preach it, I'm doing. It means anybody else out there, you guys, should be doing it too. You know it's okay to reach out and ask for help, you know especially if you know you're struggling.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah. You know, I think a lot of people, most, most people too, because they care so much about what other people think, that they'll live in a constant state of depression because they're living for other people and not themselves, exactly Right.
Speaker 2:So I other people and not themselves Exactly I'd rather be fucked up and struggle every day and cry and not sleep, instead of them knowing that I am struggling and crying and you're just going to constantly live like that and your life will be miserable and depressing because, like you said, you've got to be able to release. That you know what we're all fucked've got to be able to release that, yeah, you know and you know what. We're all fucked up.
Speaker 1:Every one of us has problems.
Speaker 2:Every one of us has problems. Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3:On some level.
Speaker 3:I think there is this part of it is like Eric's a little younger than you and I likely Joey, but it's kind of been the mental mentality of society is to program the men. It's like we're not to look for help, we're not to complain or be weak, it's be strong, suck it up, it doesn't matter, nobody cares, work harder and instead of looking for help, that's kind of what we've been programmed to do. So I think this is a really good podcast to say hey, man, if you need help, you've got to ask for help. You've got to go figure it out and find something or someone that's going to help you to get through it. And it doesn't mean I think you're a stronger man to be able to go do that and have the balls to do it than to just bury it and live depressed and be sad. That's the life for anybody.
Speaker 1:It's true, man. Half my life I've just been pushing everything down, you know, because that's what I was taught. My dad was like, oh, you're depressed, ah, get over it. That's what he would say to me. Get over it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, have a beer, yeah, exactly right, yeah, but this is why we're doing what we're doing to it's no, it's reach out. You know we have the support group. If you don't have a support group, email us. You know, speaking of email, that's robminespodcast at gmailcom. Um, but yeah, I mean, hit us up if you need it. Like we need support groups out there. The women's got tons of support groups, the guys. We need support groups out there. The women's got tons of support groups, the guys. We need to come together and this is what we're trying to do here for.
Speaker 2:Well, and a part of what we're doing and why we do, like you know, in general for men's mental health and you see clips all the time and the suicide rates, this and that.
Speaker 2:The difference from all that and us is we are opening up our deepest, darkest traumas and telling the world so we can share and show these men especially that it's okay to admit that this happened and that you're struggling, because you know me and Eric were both there at certain points of your life, like I almost tried to kill myself twice, you know, and I was in the deepest, darkest holes for years, you know. And then my final, you know, when I finally started to go to counseling and I hit my breaking point, but in this time mentally rather than the partying side, and another failed relationship and this and that failed friendships and nobody wanted to hang out with me because I was just so down and so I wasn't not necessarily, I think, wasn't like the complainer about life, I was just.
Speaker 2:You just feel people's energies, you know energy and and I was just fucking blank behind the eyes for years, you know. And then that's why we encourage going to counseling and or finding someone you know outside of your circle. That's not, that's not bias. And because when I went to counseling and you know we have all these stories, and before I went to counseling, counseling I was doing this as well. Well, this happened because of her, this happened because of him. And then when I went to counseling and told the stories, well, okay, well, what joey? Okay, what happened here? And then I'm like well, blah, blah, blah. And then she looked at me she's no, that's not their fault at all, that's your fault. And in a different way, and then it really makes you think and you're just like, holy fuck, it is my fault.
Speaker 1:Eye-opening.
Speaker 2:Because it was very, very eye-opening and every time I left the session because I did it, because I was so messed up in my head I made myself go every week for like six months and every week I look forward to it because every week I walked out of there and I'm like I learned something about myself. I realized that I was a lot more messed up even more than I thought it was, but in that I was able to be given some tools on how to now start breaking that down and fixing each issue one by one.
Speaker 3:Learning about yourself as well, because it's like a self-discovery, especially for like from an addict's point of view. If you've been using a long time, then it's almost like emotional stunting, and until you get sober and get past that and actually have tools to learn about what the fuck you're feeling and why, then it's uh difficult to understand, right you mean, as in like, if you use drugs, then you're kind of just pushing those feelings away, so you don't get a chance to really feel those feelings.
Speaker 1:Is that what you're saying?
Speaker 3:I think that, like, if you've been an addict from like uh, I'm gonna use, like my sister for instance, like using a lot of hard drugs from a young age, from maybe like mid-teens, 15 on, to like into the 30s that she didn't really develop past like 15, even if she got that far, like mentally, she just seemed like stunted, um, um, stunted so like. And even that, well, sorry, as old as she is now, is that she still seems like a little kid, like the way when you talk to her about something she still seems like she's only 16.
Speaker 1:yeah, yeah, she's like she's older than I am yeah it's fucked up, yeah well, just like um what I've heard I don't know if this is 100 true, but I've heard this like say, someone gets um sexually abused at a very young age and it really affects them that a lot of women, um you can tell because they have high pitch voices. They they sound like a child even though they're in their like 30s, but their voice sounds like a child it that also. It affects this is what I heard that it affects some part of their body, that that part of their body still remains back there because of the trauma that it induced. I've read that before that's doing to me?
Speaker 3:yeah, I don't know about that one. I've never heard that I.
Speaker 1:I don't know if it's real or not, but I mean, I read it. But you know, everything on the internet is real right.
Speaker 3:Except for me, baby.
Speaker 1:But I mean and that's not everybody, but it's just in some cases that happens right.
Speaker 2:Yeah, fair enough. I think there's a lot of things that you know. Everyone deals with trauma differently and you know different things happen to different people as well. Some are way more extreme than others. But the main thing is, whatever that is, is finding the sources or the resources, the counselors, the people to help you get through that right, because when you suffer severe trauma, or even as children, you'll never forget. It's impossible, it will be with you. But finding the tools to help you navigate and not be triggered when things come up. Not be triggered in a relationship anymore that you know from an abusive relationship 10 years ago and all these things, so that the main thing is finding the tools to be able to navigate through that and and not let it affect your life the way that it has or that you've let it for the last 10, 15 years, because that also snowballs into other things it carries over into your relationships and your day-to-day for years.
Speaker 2:Because I had, you know, I was sexually and physically abused as a little child to losing a son, a nephew, all this built-up things plus a million things more, and I just ran on autopilot burying it and it snowballed, so that one thing then went to this thing. Because I never dealt with that one thing, I let this one stack on top of that one the next.
Speaker 2:Thing then I stack it up and then slowly my head's just and I'm hunching over as I'm walking every day and, like we talk about, is wearing that backpack full of bricks and that's what I carried around with me every day for years until you know that breaking point. Like we said, it takes one thing where you just either. For me, I just broke down and collapsed. I didn't leave my room for five days because I was so messed up and that was my breaking point. Mentally I'm like I refuse to feel like this ever again and I need to fix this because I'm done with the broken, failed relationships etc. And I just started to make that change. But it took that as my eye opener and sometimes we need it and sometimes you don't want it to get to that point, because sometimes you might not wake up from that last you know what I mean.
Speaker 3:If you let it go too long, it might you might be too late for yourself because you might fucking end up giving up on yourself before you figure it out. You know, it's like take the bull by the horns, as it were.
Speaker 2:Right, yeah man, and that's why we're doing what we're doing is to hopefully prevent people from letting them get to that point where it is too late, like it was almost for me, like I stood on the edge of a hotel and I thought that this was the day because I can't do this anymore. But why we do this every week is to hopefully help people and eliminate that shit. Eliminate them, getting to that final point where they won't be able to come back from that. And it is too late.
Speaker 1:You know what I want to know? Where the fuck are they making these fucking backpacks that can fucking carry all these fucking heavy bricks? Bro, that's what I want to know. You know what I mean? Like, what fucking materials is that shit? Pass that shit over here. I need some fucking heavy-duty material man.
Speaker 3:It's like that Kevlar vest they gave you.
Speaker 1:Why can't they make it out of fucking shit material? Then the bricks would be falling everywhere and everybody would be okay, man, that's what I'm saying.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but you know what? It's only up to you to be able to start releasing those bricks. Oh, definitely, definitely, and that's all those built built up traumas and and painful situations that we've had to endure, and most of us add bricks rather than release them. Yeah, and that's the biggest problem is we just keep adding these fucking bricks into the backpack. You wake up every day and it's just getting heavier and heavier, when really you got to start taking those bricks out so you can feel lighter and a lot of it is nonsense.
Speaker 1:Man, a lot of it is fucking nonsense that you could fix like that. You know there is a lot of in there that you can fix, but you know it's just you just pile it on and pile it on right and that's what it is. You forget about it even though you got it. You're carrying that shit. You know you're so used to autopilot that you just sometimes even forget about dealing with it and then the next thing, you know, fucking months later it's going to kick you in the ass and then then you're going to feel it well, and plus two, the more bricks that we add to that backpack and the things that we don't deal with, it starts to.
Speaker 2:You know, which is the reason why we fall into depression your self-esteem, self-confidence and self-worth just drops and plummets. So then, when all the little things that come after that, you're so down and so out of it that you have no boundaries. You don't, you don't. You see it. But then you're just, you don't want to, in your mind, add more to what you're already dealing with, so you just let it go. When really, you're just fucking adding another brick, but you're, you're so broken and unfunctioning that you don't know how to even take on the smallest things anymore, because you just, it's like you just gave up and now it's just starting to cave on, cave in over your head like quicksand yeah and that's
Speaker 3:how you, even if you're, uh, still functioning like as an uh, you know, uh. However, it's like you're still picking up that extra weight, but you're somehow managing to get through the stuff you need to get through, but you're still picking up weight on the side, so you're you're just getting heavier and again and kind of getting crippled in a way, but you manage to get through somehow, but it's sooner or later that's gonna. It's all gonna collapse, you know?
Speaker 2:yeah, it's true, thank you just a time yeah and then you get to the point where you can't do your daily things anymore. You're not. Now you're losing your job because you can't get up. Now you're failing to look after your children properly. Now you know, I remember being so down.
Speaker 2:As much as I wanted to see my kids, I couldn't even get out to drive to pick them up one night because I was literally like crawling in my house. I just was so shattered and I was. I couldn't even focus to drive my car because I was struggling and crying so hard and I just was. I was screaming for help in my head and I didn't know how to ask for it. I didn't know how to talk about it. Now, to come out of that, like I said, it took a lot of work and a lot of people don't want to face themselves in the mirror, don't want to admit that they got problems. I know a lot of people who has dealt with severe childhood trauma and they've talked about it briefly, but they don't want to talk about it with anybody to fix it, because it's a trigger and in their mind it's going to make them feel worse. So instead they don't talk about it at all. I'll be fine, I'm fine, when really you're making yourself worse and worse and worse.
Speaker 3:I'm actually kind of inspired because I'm dealing with that myself and I haven't got help with it. And now I'm inspired to go get some counseling.
Speaker 1:So thank you, you're welcome.
Speaker 2:Oh, of course you know the demons that I had to face in the mirror and and to be open. You know it's definitely not easy and, like I said, I got a friend that same thing. It's a big trigger and, yeah, it's going to hurt and it's going to suck to get it out. But when you release that, because the headspace that I lived in, with all the traumas that I dealt with back to back, I never thought ever that I could be in the headspace I am right now. Back then until I did that, because I learned to let go. I learned to release. I learned and a lot of us do it all the time is we always want to.
Speaker 2:You know you try to control other people, but not like that, but the situations and and this and that when you what I learned, like I have, you know we talked about your sister with drugs. My son's mom is now a walking drug addict, living in a tent for the last four years. So I understand that. But at the time, in the beginning of that, I was struggling hard, trying to help, try to fix it, it, trying to like you have a son, what the fuck are you doing? Are you stupid? But then you get to a point that when I had no control over what another adult does.
Speaker 2:So I have to do the best that I can for the situation that is in hand and as heartbreaking as this for my son, I still I can't let her choices affect my life and we can't let other people's choices affect our life. You know what I mean. We have to learn to let that go. And you just got to hit it head on because I promise you, whatever it is that you're dealing with, aiden, once you get past that trigger and you, you, just you have to go all. You get past that trigger and you, just you have to go all in and talk about it and face it, that release, and you'll sit here six months from now, a year from now, and you'd be like man, like that poison in your mind starts to, just you know, fade away, and you just have such a clear mind, because the mind, like I said, that I have today I never thought was even possible, not even because, like I said, I tried to kill myself twice.
Speaker 2:Yeah, because I was, you know, and a lot of people are in that, but it's, it's temporary. If you work on it and try to fix it, only you, only people make their problems permanent if they choose not to deal with it. That's a good point, it is We've said this numerous times no matter what's happened to you in your life, even if it wasn't your fault, it's still your problem.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it's still your responsibility to deal with it. It's still your responsibility to deal with it, yeah it's still your responsibility to deal with it.
Speaker 2:It's still your problem, but now it's only up to you on how you deal with that and how you move forward. Or do you turn and it could be the shittiest situation or shittiest event or traumatic event that's happened to you or whatever it is, and it could have been a short term, permanent or short term issue that you could have had resolved or dealt with better or do you not deal with it, bury it and create a permanent problem for the rest of your life and then again that carries over to all your relationships. You'll never. You know what I mean.
Speaker 2:So it's about releasing, right, it's about releasing and learning to let go, and that was super hard for me and and at the time, I don't know how to let this go. How do you let this go? Well, the hardest, I would say the hardest thing is sorry.
Speaker 1:I would just say the hardest thing is sorry. I would just say the hardest thing is accountability. I would say, like everybody trying to like out of everything is like okay, taking accountability for my actions, did you figure? Do you think that would probably be the hardest thing for you?
Speaker 3:I think that's the hardest for most people is they're taking accountability right, because you don't know, like Joey was saying, saying I was like it's like you can't just wash your brain. You have to go and deal with things, you have to be accountable and you have to exactly man have to take a real look in the mirror, as you said before. You know, yeah, well, anybody.
Speaker 2:Anybody, if they could snap their fingers can. Would want to let things go, would want to just not talk about it or deal with it ever again or let it affect them 100.
Speaker 2:But in order to do that, you have to hit it head on.
Speaker 2:You have to get over the anxiety and the triggers to get past that.
Speaker 2:So that way, going forward for the rest of your life, when all these other little things that used to set you off or cause you anxieties or anger issues no longer is a trigger, because you've learned to deal with them and get the tools, so that way, when these negative thoughts come into your head, you know how to redirect it.
Speaker 2:And the biggest one is that we've I've talked a lot about is the self-awareness, because when you're in such a polluted mind and autopilot, you're not self-aware, because all you're focusing on is how fucked up you are and how down you are, how sad you are, how angry you are, how anxiety is ruining your days that's all you're thinking about. So it's impossible to be self-aware. But once you start to clear that in your mind and learn these tools now you're starting to be more clear-headed, which allows you to be more self-aware. So that way, when you are more self-aware, that next time when this trigger that you or this thing comes up that usually triggers you, you're self-aware of it now, like, hey, I know that this, but now I know how to redirect that, because my mind's more clear and I can think on this, because you've learned to now fix your core issues and so your mind isn't polluted. 24 7 yeah right.
Speaker 2:So Once you clear that away in your mind, now you can start bringing in the self-awareness. Now you're thinking more positive. Aidan, I don't know if you've heard any of our other episodes and we preach this a lot is start doing things in your day like that one degree out of routine. Right, because it'll put you in a whole different direction that you never thought you can go in, because you'll meet people you never thought you would meet. You know you look at like a ship in the middle of the ocean and you offset it, the course of the ship.
Speaker 2:One degree. Well, in one week, two weeks, it's pretty much not. You're not going to see a significant change. But if you're consistent in the daily of doing one little thing, especially when you're in a hole and you're dealing with like painful situations, you know it starts leading you in a different direction in your life that you never thought you would go. Or or into a mindset you never thought you would have, because you into a mindset you never thought you would have, because you know you're starting to do these small, little baby steps and little positive things and counting incrementally.
Speaker 2:And then all of a sudden, the because you're so clouded in your life and the routine that you already have now. You know, six months from now you're like I never thought I would be here, I never thought I would do this job or now. You've never felt that happy in your life because you've redirected your, your destination, that you thought you were going one degree a day, that's, you know, 365 or 366 this year.
Speaker 3:That's a lot, that's a big turnaround. It's a full circle. Man like uh, you can change your like, your whole life can change in a day. It's happened to me several times.
Speaker 1:It's very interesting, mine did Mine did.
Speaker 3:Yeah, exactly Right. So things can change in a snap of a blink of an eye, a snap of a finger and uh, um.
Speaker 1:So, yeah, working on yourself and and uh, uh, being positive makes a huge difference in your whole outlook and the whole way you live your life, right? Well, not just that too, it's also your environment too, that you surround yourself into. That takes a huge, huge aspect in in your mental health too. Yeah but?
Speaker 2:but it's also very hard to be in that, to be positive, when you don't deal with your core issues and hit them head on. You have to. You have to or you will live in a constant state of depression and you don't want to be, you don't want to just exist in life, you want to live for yourself.
Speaker 3:You want to live life, not just, not just exist.
Speaker 2:And most people don't. Most people live for other people to make them happy, not themselves.
Speaker 3:Right, you're going to have the new shoes, the new car and it looks snazzy for all the people that don't give a fuck about you. What the fuck?
Speaker 2:I never got that, yeah but you know, flashing all that shit on social media like, oh, look at my new Corvette, that only impresses broke people.
Speaker 1:That's shit on social media like oh look at my new corvette like that only impresses broke people.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, that's it. Yeah, yeah, you know what I mean.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah yeah, nobody above you is knocking you you know that's right, there's always people underneath you that are trying to knock you yeah, man oh 100.
Speaker 2:Nobody doing better than you in life will cut you down period ever exactly, it's always the people that are hating on you for no stupid reason and because but that's and a lot of people realize is that's a reflection of their life, not yours, but people. People take it so personal.
Speaker 2:Like you know, 90 of the reason why people don't start their businesses or classes they want to start is because of other people's opinions 100 they really wanted to do this, or I created this product and one person's like that's fucking stupid yeah, and then that person now oh, that's it.
Speaker 3:No, oh well maybe it is I'm not even gonna try anymore, fuck it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's planting this deed most people are like that yeah but what's another thing is, once you start to clear that poison in your mind with whatever it is that you're struggling with now because you've raised your ceiling of self-worth and self-confidence is all those stupid-ass comments don't even faze you.
Speaker 3:No.
Speaker 2:Now it's just like you know what it's not even on your radar.
Speaker 3:it's not even on your radar.
Speaker 2:It's not even on your radar, because now I'm feeling good about myself, I'm doing different things like that one degree. Now I meet people. I'm like I never thought I would meet this person's helping me here. I got better friends, I have the best relationship. Now all this little minor shit like fuck, I'm gonna fuck what you say, I don't care, because now you you've rebuilt yourself. Because when you are in that hole and you're depressed and you're broken and you're sad dude, everything affects you and it's all for the negative, because you don't even you don't, you don't love yourself and play.
Speaker 3:You're a little more sensitive when you're in that dark hole too right, and so anything that comes, anything negative that comes down on you. Any rain that's coming in is, uh, feels like wetter or heavier or whatever.
Speaker 1:When you're already in the in the dark spot, you know well, that's why we say to never listen to like sad, like down music, man, because it's just going to keep you in that, like a lot of people, when they're down they get a breakup. You know they listen to the heartbreak music and all this other shit. Well, no wonder you're. It's taking forever to go through that that spell that you're going through.
Speaker 2:You're setting yourself up for failure with it yeah, and you know, and as no matter how like we've said, lots too is like, no matter how good your life is, even if you're not in that dark spot or you came from that dark spot like for me, example is, life is just waiting around the corner to punch you in the face. Something's gonna happen.
Speaker 2:That's it's life no matter how good your life is, no matter how much money and cars you have doesn't matter. You know what I mean. It's something, something's gonna come around the corner. So once you rebuild yourself, deal with these issues. Then when it does rain, fuck, you'll learn how to dance in the rain. You're like fuck, I know how to deal with this shit like this is not gonna affect me at all, as nearly as it would have five years ago or two years ago, because I've learned to rebuild myself.
Speaker 2:And now, when this happens, I'm like fuck, bring it, because now you don't stay down as long. You get up way faster you know you're not fucking feeling sorry for yourself. Drinking every day for six months now you get. You know it's okay to take a knee, it's okay to cry, it's okay to not be okay we're human beings.
Speaker 3:Yeah, exactly, but it's not okay to stay down exactly exactly what I was thinking right before you said it yeah, you got to get up off and keep going.
Speaker 2:You know, yeah, a million percent. But then once you deal with your core issues and start working on that and rebuilding your self-confidence and all that, so that way, when that stuff does happen, yeah, you'll get knocked down again, but you'll be right back up way faster than you know two years ago, or whatever it is.
Speaker 1:It's like a training to make yourself even more stronger and be able to deal with the next thing, so on and so on. And that's life, that's how it is and, as shitty as it is, that's what we live and it's the truth. But it's everything.
Speaker 1:Like we say, there's a lesson in all of it. It's just you got to find the lesson and what it's teaching you in that circumstance that you're going through at that time. I mean, like we were saying, in the relationship one you meet a person and maybe they're very toxic and maybe you were their lesson, coming in to show them what true love is like. And they came into your life to show you a lesson that you need to love yourself more to let these type of people into your life because they're going to suck the energy out of you. So it's a matter of where the lesson is and finding it.
Speaker 2:Well, a lot of people don't learn their lessons right?
Speaker 3:they just keep doing the same shit over and over yeah, no, I think a lot of people don't learn man robotic and I, like myself included like sometimes it takes I'm a bit thick.
Speaker 1:Sometimes it takes a while to get that lesson to sink in you know, yeah, well, I mean, that's the thing, right, it's just a matter it can be there forever, it's just a matter of trying to find it eventually. What did I learn?
Speaker 2:But the people that don't learn their lessons. They haven't hit that breaking point where they're like fuck, I need to change. Exactly this is my eye-opener, where I'm like enough's enough. So a lot of these people keep doing it because they haven't hit that point yet. They know that they're doing stupid shit, they know they need to change, but they don't until that one day they either wake up, hopefully, and then they're like I can't do this to my family anymore jail.
Speaker 2:That's about it. Yeah, I can't do this to my family anymore. I can't do this to myself, because it took that one last thing where just fucking life just pounded you in the face and you're like this is your last chance, now get on. Yeah, yeah, you know, but yeah well points I had a lot of fun.
Speaker 1:Man, I think it's that time.
Speaker 3:I really appreciate you guys having me on man. I think this is a really good thing and I'm happy you guys are getting some getting some traction with this podcast and I'd be happy to come around anytime you guys want to be back, if you did definitely brother, oh a million percent, brother. Yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever world it's on a path. You know guys wanted me back.
Speaker 1:If you did, definitely brother, oh, a million percent brother, man, yeah, yeah, yeah, definitely man yeah, whatever world is your kind of path, you know pardon me I think we're all in the same sort of path.
Speaker 3:We're all kind of healing and learning and growing and trying to share that for the, for the next generation, or or they're, whether they're older or younger, yeah and just, uh, try to, you know, put out the good word you man.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's what we're trying to do. I'm just tired of seeing too many men take their lives over things. You know what I mean.
Speaker 3:I'm just tired of it, man it's brutal, it's brutal.
Speaker 1:So this is why we try to help and try to maybe shine some light and let you know that you're not alone, because a lot of people out there let's face it, think that they're the only one that's going through that situation.
Speaker 3:I mean, not all situations are the same, right? No, but I mean people tend to feel isolated.
Speaker 1:I think you feel isolated in your own problems, in your own world, in your own bubble, whatever you know yeah, definitely right, and this is this shines light, to show you know, you guys, you're not alone, you know there's other people struggling out there and it's okay to reach out and get the help you know.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I'm inspired. You guys inspired me. I'm actually going to look into that. I've been putting off the counseling.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 3:And trying to fight the good fight on my own. But I'm inspired to go talk to someone Do it, man, I'm doing it I said I got counseling tomorrow.
Speaker 2:I I hope that you do, aiden, you know I don't know what you're going through, but I hope that you get through it and I hope it all works out for you, my friend, because, yeah, you know, like you just said, I was the same way for a long time because we're men, we, you know, I'll deal with it, I'm fine, I'll figure it out. You know, my life's okay, but my life's okay, my bills are paid, but no, but you know what?
Speaker 2:it's going to take another breaking point in a different way for you if you don't fix these issues exactly, and it's going to come sooner or later.
Speaker 3:If I don't attend to it, it's going to come out in the wrong way. Yeah and uh, fuck up my life some way.
Speaker 2:I don't want it to be fucked up, obviously, yeah well, the key, the key there is that you're very self-aware of that now oh, I have been yeah now take that self-awareness as now you take an action. Yeah, right, so you know, I really hope you figure out what you got to figure out, my friend, and yeah, you are more than welcome. We'll have you back. Million percent. Awesome man. I really appreciate it, man. You guys enjoy the rest of the evening.
Speaker 3:Yeah, you are more than welcome. We'll have you back a million percent.
Speaker 2:Awesome man, I really appreciate it, man.
Speaker 3:You guys enjoy the rest of the evening. Thank you, man. I look forward to seeing this come back. And I didn't realize, like when I was fucked up. And when I got beat up real bad and I have a big scar I went from here to here and the plastic surgeons were sewing my face back together and I didn't realize how crooked it is until now. I was fucking nose. They sewed my fucking face on crooked bro.
Speaker 1:Look, look, it's like face, I ain't even lying no, I see it. Yeah, anyway, tell me why I ain't even worried about that.
Speaker 3:I got a girlfriend. She still digs it, so that's okay, man. That's all that matters then eric, you met her in vancouver remember yeah, I do remember. Yeah, that was a funny time for for another day yeah, we'll keep that for another day god bless nurse jen. Yeah, well, I love you man I appreciate it, man.
Speaker 1:So thank you bro. Yeah, I know, I mean, I really appreciate you guys this time.
Speaker 3:Nice to meet you, joe I. I consider you another brother now, of course buddy, of course You've always been one love, my friend. Yes, one love man We've known each other for quite a while now.
Speaker 1:And forevermore buddy. Yes, sir 100% Moving on.
Speaker 3:We appreciate you. I'll keep you guys updated. I'll try to find some counseling and I'll find some and I'll let you know how it goes.
Speaker 1:Well, I mean, I can help you with resources too. Man, that's, that's. I'm pretty good at that. So if you want to just reach, out later.
Speaker 3:I can.
Speaker 1:I got a program that that gives me all the resources around anywhere in the world.
Speaker 3:So he's super AI master. Yeah, you know it. Hey, don't forget this, eric, my face is crooked, oh man.
Speaker 1:All right, man. Well, I love you, buddy. This is how we wrap it. I love you too, man. Yeah, well, joey.
Speaker 3:Pleasure, Joey.
Speaker 1:Thank you very much for your insight.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, bless you guys.
Speaker 1:Well, Joey, Take it easy my friend, yes, sir.
Speaker 2:And Joey, take it easy. My friend, yes, sir. And for you guys listening out there, we love you all and we thank you for tuning in this week. If you guys are really having a hard time, you feel alone. Just please know that you're not. We are here for you, 1 million percent. Myself, eric. We answer all your emails, so, and messages you want to leave your phone number. You don't have to leave your real name, we understand, but that is why we do what we do. We're here to let you know that we're here for you. Hit us up rawmindspodcast at gmailcom, either, like I said myself, or Eric. We'll answer the message pretty much right away. And if you're really having a hard time, man, we we will call you. We will help you find resources in the town that you live in, that we don't live in, but we'll help you. So, you guys, thanks again for tuning in and, as always, you know, if you can't find good people, be good people.
Speaker 1:And, yeah, thank you again. Everybody. Just appreciate all the love. We're gonna be passing that milestone of episode 23 here pretty soon. Uh, we got some exciting stuff coming up in the future here. A lot of content is going to be dropping as well, so uh, look out for that.
Speaker 2:Oh, yeah, hold on and next week we have a guest that his stories is unreal. He lived in Mexico in the cartel and watched people getting beheaded. His cousin was shot in the head and left on the train tracks. This guy is seeing a funeral of family members being shot up Unreal, unreal. So he'll be on next Monday. Man, he's got some stories, this guy.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I didn't want to spoil it for them. Hell yeah, it's going to be really good Too late now.
Speaker 3:Yeah, well, anyways.
Speaker 1:Anyways, I appreciate everybody. Thank you, Aiden, for coming.
Speaker 3:Thank you man, Thank you guys very much. I appreciate being on and hopefully this helps. If it helps one person, I think we did a good thing.
Speaker 1:Yeah, man exactly. Well, on that note, be good or be good at it.
Speaker 2:Bye.
Speaker 1:Peace.
Speaker 3:Peace.