In episode 24 of "Raw Minds," hosts Erick and Joey tackle a topic that hits close to home for many in the digital age – the daunting effects of social media on men's mental health, relationships, and our perception of reality. With no guest speakers in this installment, the duo dives deep into an unfiltered discussion about the often-overlooked darker side of our online lives. Erick opens the episode with a compelling narrative on the subtle shifts he noticed in his behavior and mood after falling into the social media rabbit hole. Joey chimes in with his observations on the culture of comparison and the relentless pursuit of validation through likes, comments, and shares, setting the stage for a raw and revealing exchange.
The conversation takes a sharp turn as they explore the theme of social media as a relationship disruptor. Erick and Joey dissect how online interactions and the quest for digital attention can sabotage real-life connections, foster insecurities, and create unrealistic expectations for partnerships. They share personal anecdotes and insights from the podcast community, shedding light on the strain that virtual connectivity can place on the fabric of genuine human bonds. Continuing on this path, the hosts discuss the concept of "brainwashing" – the idea that social media not only alters our interpersonal dynamics but also reshapes our thinking patterns. They delve into the mechanisms behind targeted ads, echo chambers, and how our feeds can manipulate our beliefs, desires, and even our sense of self.
Throughout the episode, Erick and Joey encourage listeners to reflect on their own social media usage, prompting questions like, "Is this serving me, or am I serving it?" and "What am I sacrificing in my search for online approval?" With a compassionate yet critical eye, they challenge the audience to consider the psychological toll of being constantly plugged in.
As the episode winds down, the hosts offer practical strategies for regaining control over our digital consumption. From social media fasts to intentional content curation, Erick and Joey provide listeners with tools to help detoxify their digital diet and reclaim their mental space. Episode 24 of "Raw Minds" isn't just a podcast; it's a wake-up call for men everywhere to recognize and resist the insidious ways social media can warp our reality. Join Erick and Joey as they strip away the filters and confront the true impact of our online obsessions on our minds and relationships. It's time to get real – it's time for "Raw Minds."
In episode 24 of "Raw Minds," hosts Erick and Joey tackle a topic that hits close to home for many in the digital age – the daunting effects of social media on men's mental health, relationships, and our perception of reality. With no guest speakers in this installment, the duo dives deep into an unfiltered discussion about the often-overlooked darker side of our online lives. Erick opens the episode with a compelling narrative on the subtle shifts he noticed in his behavior and mood after falling into the social media rabbit hole. Joey chimes in with his observations on the culture of comparison and the relentless pursuit of validation through likes, comments, and shares, setting the stage for a raw and revealing exchange.
The conversation takes a sharp turn as they explore the theme of social media as a relationship disruptor. Erick and Joey dissect how online interactions and the quest for digital attention can sabotage real-life connections, foster insecurities, and create unrealistic expectations for partnerships. They share personal anecdotes and insights from the podcast community, shedding light on the strain that virtual connectivity can place on the fabric of genuine human bonds. Continuing on this path, the hosts discuss the concept of "brainwashing" – the idea that social media not only alters our interpersonal dynamics but also reshapes our thinking patterns. They delve into the mechanisms behind targeted ads, echo chambers, and how our feeds can manipulate our beliefs, desires, and even our sense of self.
Throughout the episode, Erick and Joey encourage listeners to reflect on their own social media usage, prompting questions like, "Is this serving me, or am I serving it?" and "What am I sacrificing in my search for online approval?" With a compassionate yet critical eye, they challenge the audience to consider the psychological toll of being constantly plugged in.
As the episode winds down, the hosts offer practical strategies for regaining control over our digital consumption. From social media fasts to intentional content curation, Erick and Joey provide listeners with tools to help detoxify their digital diet and reclaim their mental space. Episode 24 of "Raw Minds" isn't just a podcast; it's a wake-up call for men everywhere to recognize and resist the insidious ways social media can warp our reality. Join Erick and Joey as they strip away the filters and confront the true impact of our online obsessions on our minds and relationships. It's time to get real – it's time for "Raw Minds."
yeah, yeah, yeah, welcome back everybody. Thanks for tuning in. It is a brand new night and, as always, we are unedited, unfiltered and and, of course, we are going raw. My name is.
Speaker 1:Joey and I'm Eric and we're your hosts, and welcome to Raw Minds. Bada bing, bada boom.
Speaker 2:We doing it big, my friend. You know why? Because it is official that we have crossed the line of beating out 90 of all podcasts. Well done, sir, well done. 90, we have beat them all and there's a few million of them. So well done, sir, well done I like it.
Speaker 1:I like it a lot. It's good man fuck yeah so happy birthday thank you.
Speaker 2:Today is my birthday. I am extremely old, but I do not feel it so that's good. Old as dust fucking. Time flies, buddy, time flies, time flies. 42, but at least I only look 28, but you know what I mean. Fucking even being at 42 is, uh, I feel, the best I've ever felt at 42, best shape mentally, all of it Then when I was 25, 30, 35, even. That's good man. But I think that comes with growth and you know, when you live the life, the lives that we've lived and the struggles that we've had to endure since we were kids, yeah, um it's. It's very difficult to be healthy mentally, let alone physically.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and when you're not and when you're not healthy mentally, you know all other areas of your life fall off and that's when we hit those levels of depression. You know you let your house go, you let your weight go, you let your diets go. You know you make a lot of poor life choices when we're in that state of mind and it's very difficult to get out of and we understand it more than most people because we've lived it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, Well, I mean in that moment too, like we say, you're making decisions on temporary emotions, right?
Speaker 2:Yeah, permanent ones.
Speaker 1:And I've made a lot of them.
Speaker 2:And that's with relationships, with choices at work too. You know we do it all the time because of how you're ramped up in your own emotions. You know we do it all the time because of how you're ramped up in your own emotions and most of the time that we get, all you know, angry and pissed off at something or someone, it stems from a lot more than that incident. You know, because we're struggling with other things. You take it out on the people in front of you and the work that you're doing, or your kids, and not intentionally, but that tells you that there's a lot that you haven't dealt with. And, man, I did it for 20 years, right, because we're struggling, we don't know how to regulate these emotions and think clearly and make clear-minded decisions, because we're so messed up, because we're battling ourselves daily Up in here. It's a very dangerous place, but it can also be the most beautiful place.
Speaker 2:You know it's just getting through that, those levels of depression and the insecurities and the self-doubts, and once you hit those head on and fix those core problems, how you come out on the other side. Man, I never thought I could be where I'm at because I put in the work to, to, to, you know, face those demons head on.
Speaker 1:And there's no stopping men. You know what I mean. There's no end goal. You just keep on growing and growing. Every day is a new adventure, right? It's just a matter of keep on moving and pushing forward. Like we said in the last thing, the world keeps on turning. You just got to move with it. You'll get left behind.
Speaker 2:We are a never-ending. What would you call it A never-ending? What would you call it A never-ending? I'm stumped here, I don't know what I'm trying to say and it's on the tip of my tongue. We're never-ending in trying to grow and work on ourselves Like it'll never stop.
Speaker 2:No matter even me, with everything that I've been through and everything I was able to deal with and and hit face head on, is you still going to get through it and move forward past these, you know, traumatic events that you've dealt with, or heartbreaks or whatever. It may be right. So, yeah, it's a it's a never-ending battle, but the whole goal is to be better than you were the day before. That's all you can do, right, and we get so wrapped up, I think and I'm guilty of it still sometimes with trying to build a business and do all these other positive things. But everyone wants instant gratification. They don't want to feel like this, starting tomorrow. They want the business to make money tomorrow. All these things, all these things. But just, you got to learn the patience and and the gratitude too as well, for the things that you do have, rather than the. It takes time, man. Then focus on the things that you don't have.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I mean, it's like. It's like fucking growing a plant. You know what I mean. You got to water it. It's not just you're going to give it food and water, it's not going to just sprout the next fucking day. You know, it takes some time, man, just like a business and all that other shit, right?
Speaker 2:It's delayed gratification and a lot of people won't 100% Right, just like going to the gym. I can work out for six hours tomorrow, or you. Can you look in the mirror when you're done? Uh, are you going to notice the difference? No, you might feel good. No, but you're going to notice shit. But it's got to be the consistency and whether it's the gym, your diet or anything in life, it's the delayed gratification and the consistency, just like your mental state. Right, you're not going to fix it overnight. If you could do that, man, you'd be a bazillionaire if you could fix people overnight, and but it just doesn't work like that. So it's the same thing as the process of getting into shape, eating better and all these creating those habits, and the best habit you can create is your is your mental state on how to better yourself, fix yourself and improve yourself daily. Like I just said, it's a never ending battle, but at the same time, what you get at the end of that is Is is amazing, because I never thought I would be where you're sitting.
Speaker 1:You're missing a big point though, bro. What's up Missing a big point Also discipline. You know you got to have discipline too right. That's a huge thing too, because without discipline, man, you can fall off the horse.
Speaker 2:Well, and that's the thing is, discipline is the biggest thing and everyone's waiting for motivation. But, yeah, it's great when you get that little urge of motivation and it gets you going and you feel good that day and this happened, that's good and it just gives you that little. That's all good things. But what are you doing when you don't have the motivation? What are you doing when you're slacking off and laying around and making excuses in your own head, knowing telling yourself you should be doing this but you don't do it? That's where your discipline comes in. Your discipline is going to get you up and push you, regardless if you've got that motivation. So, the motivation but that's what everyone is waiting for is the motivation.
Speaker 2:But it's not man. You've got to have that discipline, and that especially when it comes to working on yourself and making yourself better and being the best version of yourself as a parent, as a father. You can't be the best for your girlfriend or your wife. You can't be the best employee for your boss or for your employees as a as a as a boss. If you're not the best for yourself, how can you be right? So well, part of that.
Speaker 1:you know, go ahead well here. Speaking of, though, um, you know, being the best version of yourself. What our topic is on is, uh, social media and um, you know, a lot of people try to be other people because what they see on social media, you know, and it's affects, especially like young girls, definitely young girls, I would have to say it affects, you know what I mean. They see the skinny body, got to have the big boobs, the nice round butt. You know, if you don't have that, no one's going to like you, you know.
Speaker 1:And then, on the other way, it's muscles for men, you know, and it's just, it's what's put out there and it's like brainwash, really, you know, you see it on TV, you see it on the magazines, like everywhere you look, you see that shit, and it's like brainwashing. You that you have to be like that, spend the money, do this, do that. You know. But at the end of the day, you don't have to Just be you man, you don't have to fucking be anybody else. Who gives a fuck what people? I haven't said this in a long time, but who gives a fuck If they're not coming to your birthday party? Who gives a fuck about these people? Be you, man, do what you want to do. You don't have to copy all these social media shit, you know. And it's sad, man, because it affects our generations.
Speaker 2:Well, and that's the thing is, it's creating a world of followers, not leaders. Yeah, everybody wants to be like that person, but why do you want to be like anybody else? But you, there's only one you in the world. Be you, be a leader, don't be a follower. You know, and this and the social media is is extremely damaging in a lot of you know, it's great for a lot of things with business and online, and yeah, that's, that's, that's awesome.
Speaker 2:But then you look at the other half, where it is toxic. It is killing marriages, dating. The dating's not the same. You know, like you said, you, you see, especially for men like, and women they're, they're always chasing that, and women they're, they're always chasing that, that that's their ideal man, that's their ideal woman and they're constantly chasing it. So when they see and meet somebody and then they realize that they're not like that, they're going to continue to chase that.
Speaker 2:Just like with money if you're someone that always chases money, money will never be good enough, no matter how much money you make, because you're constantly chasing. So when you have social media and every guy wants that girl, because they're gonna be high-fived by their buddies and I'm gonna go for that, guess what you will never get that because you're always chasing it, and especially the younger generation. You know and where it's come from. Like our time in high school, man, we didn't even have cell phones, we didn't have all this internet. You know what I mean. Like it was genuine. Yeah, meet someone in public outside someone in public.
Speaker 2:you're knocking on doors to hang out with people. It's, and now it's. You know you're swiping, you know are cheating, sitting on their toilet in their bathroom while their wife's or husband's fucking at work. They don't even have to leave their house, it's set up, done you know. And especially with the bullying, and especially the younger kids, because the kids when I was, you know, my son's almost 14. And at that age, man, you're just trying to fit in.
Speaker 2:You want to be cool, you're high school, you want to be fitting with these kids and you start smoking, you start doing this dumb shit, because that's what everyone else is doing, you know, and that leads these kids into such a dark path and it's extremely detrimental to them and it's really bad, man right.
Speaker 2:And that's why the divorce rate is so high, you know, is because of social media and everyone's chasing that. And then you know, then you have, in the dating world, you got good guys, like you see it all the time now, especially on TikTok, because guys are fed up, they're not fucking wasting their time anymore trying to date because these girls have such high standards and they want this, this, this and this, but they're not willing to give you this, this, this and this. Like, if you want somebody with these qualities, write a list. If that's what you want, that's fine, that's what you want, but you have to be that list too. But the problem with social media is so fake that, especially for guys, that these women don't even have a fucking list that they can give you.
Speaker 2:but when you always hear, like what do they bring to the table? Well, a lot of girls would be like well, why do you guys always ask that? It's not, I don't. You know this is not about money. It has nothing to do with money at all. You know it's. It's it's being genuine and sweet and supportive, and not only with me because you might get something or status. You know what I mean and that's what's killing, especially on the guys. I've seen this like. A month ago, they had like a world stat that by 2023, 50% of the women, the population of women in the world- oh sorry, the end of 2024.
Speaker 2:No, no, sorry, sorry, my bad bad. 2030, it was six years from now, so at the end of 2030 my apologies that 50 of the world population of females will be single and childless because of only fans, because of girls and how they post pictures on social media and on the guy's side, they're just. Why would you wife it? Why? You know what I mean. So social media is is definitely destroyed, the dating world especially. But now you got. But then you got. Now you're looking at the darker. The real dark side is the online bullying and the the real dark side is the online bullying and especially the younger generation and how insecure these kids are because they want to be like that and they want to look like that, but they can't. And now they're getting online bullied and these 12-, 13-year-olds are literally committing suicide. You know, because had it's sad man.
Speaker 1:You know well, these kids got so much to live for. You know, I mean, I get it. Kids are fucking mean. You know, I was one of those kids that was mean. You know, like, I get it, I understand it, but it's because I got picked on, so then I became mean. You know, I just got tired of getting picked on. You know, and that's what happens, man. Or you get these school shootings. You know, which is fucking crazy man. You know, the first one, I think, was Columbine years back, you know, and now people are putting it like social media. People are live streaming these fucking mass shootings. It's fucking sickening, you know, and they're using social media to push that shit out there. It's fucking crazy. And then you know these, these, there's other kids that see this, like, hey that, look, that guy just did this. You know, maybe I'm going to do this. You know, look, that guy just did this, maybe I'm going to do this. And then this kid starts doing it. It's a snowball effect.
Speaker 2:That's because everyone's trying to fit in, everyone's a follower, they think it's cool, they just want friends and they get caught up in the wrong crowd, doing things they don't really want to do, but they do it anyways. It's like people pleasing, but for kids, because they just want to fit in and really want to do, but they do it anyways. You know, it's like people pleasing, but for kids, because they just want to fit in and they want to have that. Well, I get it, I was there, we were all there. High school is the time where you want to be the cool kid in school and you want to do this. But now, man, it is like my son's going into high school starting in September. Man, and I just, you know, I pray he makes the right decisions and he's doing okay right now. But, man, there's a lot of kids that are just. But a lot of that, too, also not just from social media, but comes from parenting. A million percent it starts with your parenting.
Speaker 2:You know, you see kids in the grocery store screaming and stomping their feet. Man, that's parenting. That is parenting written all over it. And the reason they stomp their feet and scream like that in the middle of a grocery store is because the parents don't do nothing about it. That's why they keep doing it. But I mean the social media side, man, I mean it's yeah.
Speaker 1:Well, let's face it, man, parenting's fuck nowadays too. I mean I would get my ass fucking beat, you know I would. I would get my ass beat if I did something wrong, you know. I mean now you got kids and they'll, they'll you look at me wrong. I'll call child services on your ass. You know it's crazy and it's because I think social media is fucking this shit up, man. I think it's. It's all part of that.
Speaker 1:Man, I mean you got these kids that are glued to the screen. I mean my daughter, man. You know she would watch videos on YouTube of other kids playing with toys. I don't understand that. There's so many kids I have so many friends that have kids that watch other kids play with fucking toys. You got your own fucking toys. Why don't you play with those? I don't get it. Get it, man. What's the point of me buying you toys if all you're gonna do is watch youtube of other kids playing with toys? I don't understand it, man. That's the world we live in right now. I mean me, I would be when I was their age. I would run out there, I'd be on my bike, you know, getting my knees scratched, you know just getting into a little trouble. And as soon as the lights turn on, boom, you come home.
Speaker 1:After playing street hockey Now it's a fight to get them out. Yeah, man, car you know what I mean. Now it's a fight. Yeah, man, it's. It's.
Speaker 2:This shit is destroying our offspring when was the last time you've seen any kids in the middle of the street with a hockey net playing street hockey?
Speaker 1:none ever fuck, I don't think I have man.
Speaker 2:That's what I was doing every day after school, man, we get the neighbors and you have the hockey nets and we're playing street hockey. Every saturday morning, when we're meeting at the lacrosse box, we're playing hockey or whatever, but it's not the same anymore because of social media and all these younger kids, man. It's just creating a world of followers and depressed teenagers.
Speaker 1:You know, and even as my dad used to call it well, my dad used to call it the heads down club, because everybody's got their heads down. You know, it's not just kids, it's adults too. I mean I, I get lost in it, you get lost in it, we all get lost in it. It's fucking crazy. And then you realize what the fuck. I just scrolling for like half an hour there. You know that's what it is. It's a fucking mind trick or whatever. It fucks your shit up, man. It pulls you in and it just mushes your brain.
Speaker 1:You're stuck there scrolling looking at nonsense, fucking nonsense, man, and people are making money off of this nonsense, especially here on TikTok. Man, like you said, it's online panhandling, straight up TikTok's online panhandling. Man, it's the truth. I mean, we post on there, but we don't give a shit about the gifs and shit. Man. We're just here trying to spread what we want, right, and that's men's mental health, shit man. We're just here trying to spread what we want, right and that's men's mental health. It's just, it's. It's. It's crazy man. You don't even have to go down on the side of the street anymore with a sign. You can just get a phone and online panhandle. It's I don't know and some of these things that these people do. I mean, where is your self-respect really like? I've seen some videos where people are doing some stupid shit just to get views. I don't understand it. I don't understand it. Why do you care? Why do you care about what these people around the world really think?
Speaker 2:Maybe it is, maybe it's men, you know, and that's the thing is like 90% of the reason why businesses don't start or fail, or people don't take the classes they want to take or they're afraid to tell their friends that this is what they've always wanted to do, but they think that their friends will say it's dumb is because of other people's opinions. Straight up, that's it. But you know, if you're spending so much time caring about what other people think, that's just a self-reflection of how you feel about yourself, because you're you're afraid that they're going to tell you something that you already believe about yourself and verify that because of your own self-doubt, and that's you know what I mean.
Speaker 1:That's exactly what it is.
Speaker 2:Because if your self-worth was high.
Speaker 2:Your self-esteem was high, your confidence was high. Dude, someone making fun of you online or saying that your product sucks, or you know, I design my own clothes and some people don't like it. I don't give a shit. But a lot of people were like, well, maybe it is stupid, I shouldn't do this anymore, this and whatever it might be. And there's because they have no confidence in themselves. They don't believe in themselves and that's the biggest problem is and even as adults, especially when you see people on the gram and tiktok stunting with ferraris and I made ten thousand dollars last night on affiliate marketing and all this other bullshit yeah, maybe some of them did, but why? Why do you? Why do people get so caught up in their life when it has nothing to do with yours? That's not the path that you chose.
Speaker 2:And if you're unhappy with the path that you chose and where you are today, then change it, work on it, then fix it, because where you are in your life is a result of you and you only, and not with things that have happened to you. It's nobody's fault but you. You are where you are in your life because of you and you only. And if seeing that car and that house and, yeah, everybody wants it. But focus on you, put in the work, find what drives you, find your.
Speaker 2:Why stop playing a fucking victim all the time and blaming other people for why you are where you are in your life or why you don't have the money, because so many people I used to be like that. Oh, I wish I had that, but I would never get that because I only make this much. Well, boom, I just said it out loud to the universe. Guess what? I'll never get that. And every time someone says that it will never happen because you already believe it that you'll never get it. You've told yourself you won't get it before you even fucking try it's all about perspective and how you look at things you gotta tell yourself that that's what you really want, then you're gonna get it.
Speaker 2:The manifestation that shit works, man, you really want, and you're going to get it. The manifestation that shit works, man. You see it all the time man. It works. It works, but you have to. A million percent. It does, but you've got to believe it, you've got to see it, you've got to feel it.
Speaker 2:And just because you only make this much money, you can make more money. Just you're, you're hit, you're, you're allowing yourself to hit that ceiling, because where your self-worth is is you will never go past that in anything in your life. The people that you date, the money that you will make, because you'll never go past the level of your self-worth. So once you raise your self-worth now you have more confidence and belief in yourself that you know what I can make more money, you know what I can get that car, you know what I can get a better relationship, a more loving relationship, I can have better friends, have better friends.
Speaker 2:But everyone is so stuck in their own minds and and self-doubt that they will never pass that level because that's where their self-worth sits. You'll never go past that, ever so. Until you raise that, you'll be stuck in it and then you'll just keep playing the victim. And poor me, it was their fault and I was abused 10 ago and he cheated on me three years ago, and then you just keep sitting on that. Well, that's why I'm like this Well, guess what? That's where your life is going to stay, and now you're not even living your life and you're going to live the rest of your life just existing and that is a sad way to live Just miserable content.
Speaker 2:Content doesn't mean happy content, just means you're okay, but you're unfulfilled yeah, floating and white.
Speaker 1:You're just floating around right. Here's the thing, too, let me. Let me put this out there, and I've said it before in the episode or two before it's like, think of this a boxer is going to go into a match. You know he's not going to go into a match. You know he's not going to go into that match and be like, oh fuck, this guy's going to kick my ass, I'm going to lose, like he's just going to fuck me up. No, the guy goes in there like I'm going to fucking destroy this guy. I'm going to beat this shit out of him and I'm going to win this match. You know it's having that mindset. You know it's having that mindset. You know you should have that mindset when you do everything. I'm gonna kick ass, I'm gonna do the best that I can, and then some you know it's a.
Speaker 2:It's about changing that mindset yeah, and changing your perspective on how you look at things as well. Right is getting out of that victim mentality. You know, and we're humans, we humans, every one of us is guilty of it. You know, we always tend to focus on the negative Rather than the positive, but yet we get stuck on one negative. But that's where the gratitude comes in, because you have Guaranteed most people have a hundred Really good things, but they Black that out To only focus on this one negative, and majority of the time it's it's not even a real problem, because if you look at some of the people, look at some of the people in this world, and what they have to go through and what they struggle with in these little kids and through rural countries and all that.
Speaker 2:Those are real problems. And then here on the, you know in the in the west side, in the western world, is yeah, or, I didn't get that car, so I'm all pissy for a month like you, if that's what you want, man, you don't got problems.
Speaker 2:You got work to do, so it's all about changing your perspective and how you look at things. Oh well, you know, I just got laid off, yeah. Yeah, it's shitty, but that's not a real problem. That means you got work to do. So you're going to sit back and just feel sorry for yourself, or that relationship ended. And yeah, it's terrible, the heartbreak, it is the worst feeling on the planet, but regardless, it's over, right? So what are you going to Now? What are you going to do about it? Are you going to go feel sorry for yourself and drink for six months and then just drag it out even farther? And poor me, and I didn't deserve this. Maybe you didn't deserve it, but it's still your problem, right?
Speaker 1:well, you know what man with heartbreak like you just mentioned, I mean, that's, that's another thing with social media, man, that I find you know, that I think is is totally fucking wrong and fucked up. Let's say, you know like you and your partner break up, well, then either you or your partner goes on social media and starts posting, oh, oh, I'm doing so great, I'm doing so great, that's mind fucking. You know what I mean. Like shit, like that man. I don't understand that shit. You know. Look at me. Look at me. You know I'm doing so great. Meanwhile, when the camera's not on that person, they're in the bed fucking under the blankets, like crying. You know, nothing that is on social media is fucking really true. You know, half the shit is fucking fake. You know, wearing makeup, everything is staged. I mean, everything is fucking staged, man. You know, with that, with these influencers, a lot of that shit is man.
Speaker 2:I mean I'm yeah. Well, that's the thing. Everybody wants to look like they ballin' on social media I don't know. And every girl wants to act like they. A supermodel on hanging out on yachts. But guarantee, half of those people are sleeping on a mattress on the floor in their parents' basement suite.
Speaker 1:And the and the BMW that they're driving was bought by their parents.
Speaker 2:But they're the ones stunting. But it's all fake man. But the thing is, is all these people that portray this? Now, everybody wants to be that, everybody wants to have that life, and this guy's oh, look at my new lamborghini I just bought, like how do you know he actually? Bought it.
Speaker 1:I can go and buddy, that shit is rented, bro. Half that shit is rented, man, you know. Or they, they, they rented off of like a company or someone that has a friend or knows a friend that has a friend. You know what I mean. Half that shit is not even those people, the shit's rented. You go to the red carpet, man, all these actors and shit. They're just renting those dresses, renting the fucking jewelry half the time, man, just so they can sponsor the artist or whatever you want to fucking call them, you know. And then you see that man that's big too, like all these. Okay, this is one thing I don't understand. I don't fucking understand this. Actors, okay, people go crazy over actors. I don't get it. They're fucking human beings, man.
Speaker 2:Who gives?
Speaker 1:a shit. Let them live their life. You know, I've seen it. Oh my God, oh my God, I touched him. Oh my God, I'm never going to watch my. It's just crazy, man, you know. And then people follow the shit like the Kardashians. Man, that's crazy. They follow that shit and like they have to dress like that. The chick got a BBL, so then people started getting BBLs. You know what I mean? Like I don't get it. It's like they start something and everybody just has to follow. Fucking, make your own path. Why are you gonna follow these people? I mean, have you seen the show like? Like, let's face it, it's a fucking joke, you know? I mean I don't get it.
Speaker 2:That fucking social media shit, man is just that's the world we live in, though, right and like, as I said, it's a, it's a, it's a world of followers. Now it's just, everybody wants to be like that. I'm gonna stand two, two days in line for a pair of yeezys like you guys are idiots. You're all idiots, every one of you, right? And then they're laughing at you because that was last year's model and that was last year's. Oh, that was out of style. Two years, shut the fuck, man. Just Just don't. Because you know what, for me, not even just because of how old I am now, even besides the fact that I make my own clothes most of the time but even when I wear other clothes, man, I don't care who makes it. If it's nice, I'm going to wear it, period. I don't care what brand it is, and if you're going to judge me because of the brand and maybe that was cool five years ago who gives a shit? But that should show it.
Speaker 2:Like anyone that hates on you and says stupid shit like that or like online and all that. That's just a self reflection of where they are in their own life, because they're miserable with themselves. So they got to hate on other people because nobody in this world that's doing better than you will hate on you. It's nobody in this world that's doing better than you will hate on you. It's always the people that want to do what you're doing but can't do it, or they're miserable in their own life because they're bashing you online. That's all. It is Keyboard warriors that talking shit when they ain't doing nothing with their own lives so they're hating on it. Or, like you see someone like a guy posted buying a Ferrari. You know what I mean. If he did buy the Ferrari, good for him, man, well done. Then you see the comments like oh, that's an ugly Ferrari, that's just dumb shit, because people are yeah, where's your Ferrari, buddy.
Speaker 1:You know what I mean when they say that shit, that guy probably worked hard and bought his Ferrari. Like you said, people, oh it's ugly. Well then, where's yours, man? Why the fuck are you complaining? You know what they say. Usually I would never buy that. Well then, where's that? Whatever you want, it's fucking ridiculous. Keyboard Warriors.
Speaker 2:That's the world of social media, though right it causes, like I said, it's great for businesses and that kind of stuff and getting your name out there for a lot of things, but at the same time, it's always a catch-22 with anything but the damage that this causes people the depression, the suicides, especially in the, you know, the suicides, especially in the younger generation and the young kids. It's really hard, man, and just the online bullying, and that's the thing is, even as adults, like I said, not starting your business because of worried about what other people are going to say about it, like that's also a self-reflection of you and where you are in your life and how you feel about yourself. That's all it is, because if you've, if you, if you uh, yeah, man, had the confidence and felt good about yourself and loved yourself, none of that would affect you. You wouldn't even lose sleep over it. You know, for the longest time when I was struggling in my depression and attempted suicides and like just anxiety all day, every day, yeah, you're, you're, you're low, your, your self-esteem is rock bottom, your confidence is rock bottom, your self-worth is rock bottom. So, yeah, you're, you're, you're you worried about other people? Think, because you don't want them to, to verify the your own thoughts and feelings about yourself, because at that time that's how you feel about yourself, right, and someone says, well, that's stupid, why are you doing that, even though you love to do it? Then you'd be like, well, maybe it is stupid, I'm not going to do it then because of what other someone else said. But then again, you're not living for yourself, you're living for other people.
Speaker 2:Until you realize that no matter what you do in your life, good or bad, somebody is going to say something about it. Somebody is going to hate on it. So, no matter what you design, someone's not going to like it. No matter what product you make, someone's not gonna like it. No matter what product you make, someone's gonna hate it. So do it anyways. What's what? Why? Why not do it anyways?
Speaker 2:you can save a pregnant a pregnant woman with her four kids from a burning house and some idiot's gonna go online like, well, you didn't get the dog, so it doesn't matter.
Speaker 1:Here's the thing, though, man You're doing it for you, right? You're doing it for you. You're not doing it for everybody fucking else in this world. You're doing it for you. Make yourself happy. Why do you have to go and make everybody else happy? Fuck that man. Make yourself happy. You know why do you have to go and make everybody else happy? Fuck that man. Make yourself happy. Do what you want to do. You know, don't follow this other shit, these. Oh, you gotta wear this this month, because that's what's in and you know all this other shit like fuck, do whatever you want to do, man. So here's another thing, though, that's really fucked up in social media. And you know all this other shit Like fuck, do whatever you want to do, man.
Speaker 1:So here's another thing, though, that's really fucked up in social media. This is a big one, man, and this is where, like, a lot of young people definitely take their lives because it's devastating to them, is when you know two people back and forth. You know they people back and forth, you know they're intimate or whatever. They send pictures back and forth. You know naked pictures, and then, all of a sudden, that person's sending it everywhere else. You know, and next thing you know, without permission, this poor fucking young person, male or female, has got their pictures all over the internet.
Speaker 1:And all these people this poor fucking young person, male or female, got their pictures all over the internet. And all these people you know. And now you thought you could trust this person. You know You're sharing something intimate with this person. Not only does this person break your trust, but also just fuck your life up by putting your shit all over the net. You know, imagine going to school and everybody sees you and that's what you're known for, or whatnot. You know what I mean. Next thing you know, man, that person just got super depressed, got suicidal and ended their life. And it happens all the fucking time, man, it's truly sad it is.
Speaker 2:It's truly sad, man. It's fucked up. There's a lot of evil people in this world, man, that have that. Well, I mean, you see it all the time on the news. You see what they do to kids and other people and pedophiles. And it's a time on the news you see what they do to kids and other people and pedophiles. It's a sick twisted world and it's truly sad that people are like that and do these things Because you know, especially nowadays, it's very hard to find good, genuine people and if you find them and man, don't let them go.
Speaker 2:And I'm not talking about just in relationships, man, like the friends around you, you got good friends, you hang on to them, man, and you, you, you be a good friend back, you be a good, you know husband and wife back, because it is very hard to come by nowadays and a lot of it too is because there's so many more people in this world struggling mentally and more depression because of social media, because you know of, like you said, people putting your, your, your shit online and private things and all these other things that will break you. And you know, even if you're in a good place and confident about yourself and you don't care that this guy talks shit about you online and you got a couple of haters. But there are certain things and we're human beings, man that there's certain things. And we're human beings, man that there's certain things, no matter how big you are, no matter how tough you think you are, that will tear you down and will break you. You know we're humans, we're not robots, man, and I've seen the biggest guys cry their eyes out for months over things, and you know, and so it doesn't matter who you are, how big you are, as certain things in life, man, it'll take you down, man, and it destroys you, and it's extremely sad that you know people can do this to other people and do these things to other people. You know these things to other people, we all but I think you know and it goes back to being a clear reflection of where they are in their life what has happened to them. Because you know, we talked about this once before.
Speaker 2:I read this book when I, when I was going through my shit and getting out of my depression and suicidal state, you know, I started to read books and I never read books before I can read, but I never was that guy and I read a book, you know, and it made a lot of sense is when you see these people do these evil and foul and act crazy and all these things, most people are like, well, what the fuck is wrong with them? You know that guy's nuts. Why is he acting like that? Like what's wrong with him? And nobody asked the question of what happened to them, because that is a clear indication that something seriously bad or messed up has happened to them. Doesn't mean that it's justifiable for what they do. Doesn't mean we're gonna feel sorry for you because of that, because regardless what's happened to you ever in your life, whether it was your fault or not, it's still your problem.
Speaker 2:So those people just chose not to deal with the problems in hand. Those people chose the wrong band-aids. Those people chose a negative outlook on things. They chose the wrong perspective on it. They chose all these things and that's why these people do such messed up and evil shit. Right, because there's clearly something going on.
Speaker 2:Now maybe some people have schizophrenia, all these actual mental conditions, but a lot of people get diagnosed with that later on because of what's happened to them in the past or as children or veterans in war and veterans and what they've seen overseas and all these other things and PTSD. But those are the people that chose not to deal with it. Those are the people that chose not to turn around and face their demons head on, right. And then it gets to a point where now they're mentally whatever diagnosed or mentally struggling for the rest of their life because they just kept stacking on all these bad things that's happened and then they just keep adding more bad things and not and not dealing with any of them.
Speaker 2:You know, and in situations like ours because this is where we came from in a different way we struggled so hard and I struggled so hard with being abused as a child, to losing a son, to all these things, but I never really dealt with it. I didn't look in the mirror, I didn't face it, I didn't deal with them and I kept stacking, stacking and weighing myself down to the point where I try to take my life, and that's the same kind of thing. But other people act out in different ways. I didn't act out in violence because of how messed up I was, I just acted out in. Well, I didn't act, I shut down. I was the opposite. I shut down, I shut people out.
Speaker 2:Self-harm that, but other people are so right because they didn't deal with their traumas and pain that they act out. You know, like you mentioned earlier, like being bullied in school. Then you started to bully people. A lot of people are like that. Well, I was abused as a child, so now I'm gonna to abuse my children. My parents were like this 100%, but you've got to be able to break that generational curse. Monkey, see, monkey, do. If you, especially when you have children, if you do not deal with the problems that you have and the traumas that you've had to deal with and the pain that you've been through, your children will have to deal with that. You pass on generational trauma to those kids. Because I know a lot of parents, man, they're like, oh, I'm fine, and they don't talk about it because it triggers them. So they just bury it, I'm okay. And then they distract themselves with work, this, this, thinking that they're managing, but you're not managing, you're struggling, they're managing, but you're not managing, you're struggling, they're struggling.
Speaker 2:I did it for 20 years, man, I'm fine and I'll just do this, I'm so overwhelmed that I broke myself down even more, not realizing that's what I'm doing to myself because I'm overworking. I'm trying to do this, I'm trying to be this for my kids and I'm trying to do these things. But who's feeling it the most? Your children, your family.
Speaker 1:Well, do you remember? You remember, man, I was puking blood. Every morning I would wake up before going to work. Remember, I puke blood, you know, because, man, it was just fucking on fight or flight mode to work. Remember, I'd puke blood. You know it was because, man, I was just fucking on fight or flight mode, you know, because I didn't deal with the situation at hand at that time. I shit you not. Every morning I woke up I would go straight to the bathroom and start puking and blood would be in there Like clogs of blood Because the stress that I was putting through my body was just eating away inside and it was fucking my shit up.
Speaker 1:You know, until I took care of it. Now I haven't done that, oh God. You know, until I took care of it. Now I haven't done that, oh God. Probably a couple months after Jules passed away, because that's when I started seeing that grief counselor for a bit, I don't know. And it was just stress. I said I had to de-work, just take it easy. Stress, I said I had to de-work, just take it easy. It was just crazy, man, it was nuts. Every day I went to the doctors, just stress, man.
Speaker 2:When your immune system is shot like that from stress, you can make yourself sick.
Speaker 2:If you're always sick, you always got colds. That's also a reflection of where you are mentally, because your immune system is shot, because you're always stressed out, you're always depressed, you're always sad. Yeah, man, your immune system, so you'll get sick way more. It's a true story Because if you look at the times that you were good in life and you're feeling good, how many times did you actually get sick? Probably not many or none. You know what I mean. Like, I used to get sick all the time. It affects everything. So your mental state is number one before anything.
Speaker 2:And if you know that there's something you can do about it and there's so many people like, yeah, I know, I got to deal with this, I just this and make excuses for it, because they don't really want to face it. They don't want to admit that this happened to them. They don't want to admit that they did this. They don't want to take accountability. But you will not fix nothing until you look yourself in the mirror and take accountability why that relationship ended, instead of just saying, oh, it was their fault and this and that, no, it was your fault. Take accountability for it. And even if it was something that happened to you as a child and it wasn't your fault or anything that's happened to you that isn't your fault. You still got to face it. You still, like I said, regardless if it was your fault or not, it's still your problem. So what are you going to do about it? If you're going to keep burying yourself, like I said, and go to work and do this and just overwhelm yourself, you're just going to constantly live with anxiety, depression, stress because you keep telling yourself you're fine but you're not. Stress because you keep telling yourself you're fine but you're not. So you have to, you know, and it's not easy, man. It's not easy to tell a counselor or therapist that you, for me, I was sexually and physically abused when I was a little boy. You know most people in my position like they're not, especially as men. They're not going to go and tell a counselor. They don't want to say that out loud and they feel less of a man, they feel weak, they feel I don't want them to know and they bury it. But like those kind of things, man, it's like you have to face it. You've got to deal with it. You will never forget these things that's happened to you ever, things that's happened to you ever but it's finding the tools so that, when you have these triggers and negative thoughts that weigh you down and take over your life, is that you're able to navigate through those thoughts and find the positives in your day, rather than focusing on this and let it take over.
Speaker 2:And then, by doing that and if you don't do that, you are no longer present in your day-to-day and you're letting your days go by because you're so messed up and your mind is so poisoned that you're unable to be present. You're unable to be there. You might be beside your kids, but you're unable to be present. You're unable to be there. You might be beside your kids, but you're not there. And I was like that for a few years. I would still be there, I would play with them, but my mind was not there. I was nowhere near them, even though I was right beside them. And that's the same with your wives and your relationships. Finding that clarity in your mind allows you to be present, and I struggled that for so many years that I didn't know how and I didn't even realize I wasn't present because you're so gone in your own anxieties and depression that you it is impossible to be present in these moments where you know and we get, and when you're struggling, especially big things that's really hurting you. You're unable to enjoy the things in that day when that shouldn't affect that day, because that happened two years ago ago. So why is it affecting you today? Or overthinking about a scenario or something three months from now? That could happen when it hasn't even happened yet. But because that's how our minds are working and we're struggling, we're no longer present in the day. And that's where finding that clarity in your own mind and fixing these core issues and hitting these head on, that you're able to be present and enjoy your day and when you're out doing things with your kids and your wife and your friends is actually be in that moment and enjoy it.
Speaker 2:You know, like you said earlier, the social media and scrolling. You know I would sit there it's almost. You know the social media and scrolling. You know I would sit there and scroll and scroll for 45 minutes, but it wasn't because I was liking what I was looking at, because it was an anxiety thing. I just felt better Like that was that my escape from my mind was scrolling, but by doing that, like my dad used to do it all the time. My kids would be in my ear, dad, dad, dad, literally right here. But then my dad used to do it all the time. My kids would be in my ear, dad, dad, dad, literally right here. But then my dad would come over visit and he'd be like your kids are talking to you, they're right beside you. And I was so gone and lost in my own mind because I was using the scrolling to distract myself from the pain and the depression that I was feeling. Right, so that was an anxiety thing for me and that was my tool.
Speaker 2:And you might hear about this and why people re-watch the same show over and over Because they know the outcome and it's comfortable and it's an anxiety thing Because you already know what's going to happen. Fidget spinners, yeah. Or watching the same movie like 50 times because it's an anxiety thing, like fidget spinners. Or watching the same movie of like 50 times because it's an anxiety. It's the same thing like scrolling through your phone, all those, but in order you have to be able to hit these problems head-on. You have to because you know it well, it's also dopamine effects too.
Speaker 1:Right, it's like little increments of dopamine. That's like you're you're getting every time you scroll and you got a new video on your feed. Man, it's a little bit of a dopamine. Oh, what's this guy gonna talk about? Oh, what's this guy's guy gonna on the skateboard gonna hit his nuts? You know what I mean. Like it's just little dopamine effects, like we talked about a couple episodes ago. It's like chasing that little dopamine effect without you even knowing it, because you're so focused on this little fucking device with, like we said, stupid fucking videos. Man, you know, like there's a lot of just pointless stuff, like how to open a door with a shoe, and it's got millions of views but again that's a distraction for people.
Speaker 2:right, because a lot, of, a lot of people get so caught up in it and distracted by it, but yet they're not focusing on themselves and they're not happy with themselves and they're bored with themselves. They don't know what to do with themselves. So it's an easy, just like you said, the dopamine and the entertainment you know I remember men swiping on social media or whatever can have you sitting in one spot for 45 minutes and you didn't even realize it was 45 minutes already. But it's keeping you distracted from the real issues, the reality of what's around you.
Speaker 2:You know what I mean.
Speaker 1:And it affects your sleep too, bro. I mean like sometimes, man, I've been caught catching myself too. You know you're sitting in bed and you're scrolling and scrolling. Next thing you know you're fucking. It's like two hours past your bedtime, you know. And then you gotta go to work.
Speaker 1:The next day and you're fucking beat you know like that shit affects everything in your life, man, not just like, yeah, man, I mean there's okay, okay, here I got something for you. So, oh god, I was probably early 20s Started dating this chick. She's at my house I was living downtown at the time and this chick was always on her phone. I mean always on her phone. It was so annoying man. So we're fooling around. We're naked on the couch, like, okay, let's go to the bed. So I get up, I go to the bed, I'm waiting. I'm waiting like where the fuck is she? My hallway's not that long. I come back out on the couch she's sitting butt naked and she's just on social media scrolling.
Speaker 1:I think this is back when, uh, msn messenger, not myspace, was it myspace? Maybe myspace old school or nexopia and all that shit. Yeah, yeah, this is like. Yeah, it's like nexopia and all that shit. But I mean what the fuck is this? You're on the phone. I said she's like, okay, I'm coming now. I'm like, nah, it's okay, I'm over it Went and put my clothes on. I'm like I think you should leave and I went to sleep. Ridiculous, man, ridiculous. I don't get it. I mean that chick was. I mean this thing. She might as well just fucking super glued it or PL'd it right to her fucking ear man.
Speaker 1:Like I said, there's an addiction. It never left her sight. It was fucked. If the first thing you do when you wake up in the morning is roll over and look at your phone, you have a problem.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it is actually. You are addicted to your phone. Have a problem? You are addicted to your phone. The first thing you do is roll over and start scrolling in the morning. When you wake up, you have a problem. That's damaging man, because I remember going on dates with girls and they had to video everything and they had to edit it. While I'm ordering nachos, I'm like what the fuck are you doing? But it's an addiction and people can't put it down.
Speaker 1:Didn't you go on a date?
Speaker 2:Yeah, didn't you go on a date and the chick fucking was that you At the arcade, had the video or something she was vlogging while she was on. The date. Was that you, jesus man? And then sitting at the table and the nachos, and the nachos come and it's sitting in front of us.
Speaker 1:It was the first time you met her.
Speaker 2:I'm sorry, I'll just be a minute. And then 20 minutes, literally 20 minutes later I'm like, what are you doing? She's like, sorry, I just got to edit this video. I'm like, oh my god. I'm like, yeah, you're done, I'm not talking to you again, like peace out, so, but it's an addiction, right, so it.
Speaker 2:But again, for me it was, it was an anxiety thing and I think a lot of people are like that as well, because they it's a distraction from their own thoughts and a distraction from what's really going on in their life that they don't want to think about it.
Speaker 2:So it's easy for them to be distracted in in the palm of their hand, Right. But by doing that you're wasting so much more time and I bet cause you can see how many hours people spend a week. It tells you whatever on Tik TOK and man, if people actually looked at it and be like holy shit. And you're like 20 hours this week, like what could you do with your life in those 20 hours? What could you have done to benefit yourself, to start working on that side hustle, you always wanted to start. You know, same with binge watching tv shows. Why are you if you're not where you want to be in your life. Why are you wasting any time binge watchingwatching TV shows and 20 hours of me scrolling on your phone, if it is not benefiting you, trying to build yourself up?
Speaker 1:Yeah, why not pick up a book or fucking educate yourself in something else? You know what I mean? Why fucking scroll? I mean, okay, yeah, watch YouTube video about educating on something that that you're interested in, not how to open a fucking door.
Speaker 2:But those are the same people, that they just, they just exist and they're just whatever. I've been at the same job for 10 years. I make the same money, I'll never get that car and I'm just going to struggle and maybe go on a vacation once every four years, floating, yeah, and poor me. But then you sit there and complain about your life but you're doing nothing about it. You got so many people that complain about their weight but won't go to the gym, and then they just stay in this. You know this mindset of insecurity and but they won't change. And then they complain about it oh, I'm too busy. And then they make excuses. Well, honestly, just shut up. I hate people like that. You can't say, you can't say, you can't say nothing. Do not complain about your life ever if you do not put in the work to make the changes.
Speaker 2:Hey, venting is one thing. You're having a bad day, man, you want to vent. That you, that's normal. You gotta vent, man. You, something really bad happened to you. That's traumatic. You're hurting, you got to talk. You're venting, you're up, that's healthy, you're upset. But if you're just sitting there complaining about your life, complaining about your weight, you're not going to the gym, you're eating like shit.
Speaker 2:That's healthy shit you're miserable at your job but you still keep going, then that's on you. I don't want to hear it, nobody wants to hear it, nobody cares. You got to work harder period but there's so many people like that, like poor me. Well, it's their fault. And you know, I don't know.
Speaker 2:I can't find another job yeah, you can, but that's a direct reflection of how you feel about yourself, because you have no self-confidence. You have so much self-doubt rather than more self-confidence that you just decide to sit there in the same spot. Because the way I look at things now is, if you fast forward a year from today and you are in the exact same place you were today. A year from now, you've wasted a whole year of your life. You wasted a whole year of your life because if you're not trying to be better than the day before, if you're not trying to work on things to better yourself because it is a never ending cycle of trying to better yourself and if you don't, you're just going to constantly live in a state of depression because you have no purpose, and that's why you get depressed, because you feel like you have no purpose. You have no drive, drive.
Speaker 2:But it goes back to what we said in the beginning is everyone's waiting for someone to motivate them, save them, and but guess what? Nobody's coming to save you, and fuck. Motivation. It's discipline. You need to have discipline. Yeah, if you're not happy with the things in your life, then change them, don't complain about them. Make the effort, and sometimes it takes a long time to change certain things. You know, if you gotta lose a hundred pounds, that's gonna take you a while. But you gotta have the discipline to get there, because if that's important, anything in your life is important you will make an effort.
Speaker 1:Anything else is an excuse period yeah, man, you will make an effort. Anything else is an excuse, period, yeah, man. Well, let me say this man, you can watch all the fucking motivational videos you want. You can watch it back to back. You can watch it 24, 7, non-stop. But if you don't fucking do anything yourself and, like we said, have discipline and keep on track of what you're doing, then that shit means nothing, man. You know, it really doesn't. Oh, I watch all these motivational. You know it's going to make me better. No, you're going to make yourself better. It's up to you. It's not up to what even us. You know what I mean. We can talk all the bullshit we want in your ear, but at the end of the day, it's up to you, and that's what it comes down to. Well, we just try to, yeah, man, we just try to put this shit out there and make you realize it. I mean, fuck, it's no skin off my back, man, you can do whatever the fuck you want. Really, you know.
Speaker 2:Well, at the end of the day, it's only up to you. We're trying to help. Nobody's going to change unless they want to. Nobody's going to quit drinking unless they actually want to. Nobody's going to get help unless they want to, and only them. Yeah, but most people won't change until they hit a rock bottom where something very bad happens. They need the wine man, and then they quit and then they change.
Speaker 1:You know, most people won't change until they hit a rock bottom, where something very bad happens.
Speaker 2:They need the wine, man, or they're diagnosed with something you need a wine, and then they quit.
Speaker 2:You want to do this and then they change. You know, but luckily for me, I well. I got to a point in my life at one point where I was so down and broken and depressed that my rock bottom was. I tried to kill myself and thank God I didn't, because I wouldn't be sitting here today and I wouldn't have the two beautiful kids that I have now if I did. But most people majority are not waiting for it but won't change until something drastic and something traumatic or something painful happens. Is that rock bottom?
Speaker 2:but but I encourage you, listening everybody, to not let it get to that point, because not only will you live with regret, but that point could be the point that I hit, where I literally tried to kill myself, and then that point for you might be where you make that permanent decision and you can't come back for that ever again, and be where you make that permanent decision and you can't come back for that ever again.
Speaker 1:And you know I I have to disagree, though, with a little bit of that. I think rock bottom is healthy in some cases. You know, I'm not talking rock bottom where you're gonna go fucking off yourself, but I'm talking like rock bottom, where you grab that motivation and you rebuild because, let's face it rock bottom right, best foundation to build off of, it's just rock bottom man, you know. So I have to disagree a little bit in that sense, because there is I mean, I think that's where you're going to learn your biggest lesson. And if you look at it, some of the most successful people in this world have hit rock bottom and they grew. And let's be real, real, it'll humble you because a lot of people out there haven't hit rock bottom, so they're not humble. Where you're, you're fucking eating kd every day, or mr noodles, you know, because you're. No, I agree with you.
Speaker 2:No, I agree with you 100 on what you want, because in the, then the end, your biggest blessings and your biggest successes come from, I think rock bottom, humble.
Speaker 2:You know what I mean and that rock bottom and what I mean by my, what I was talking about, to elaborate a little bit, is not let it get to that mental state of where you can't even lift your head anymore. Rock bottom of that suicidal tendency or thoughts, and that kind of rock bottom. You know what I mean, but you definitely. But there's still, yeah, that bottom of depression, and I don't encourage people to be depressed, but in that pain, yeah, that's in that depression is where you'll find your biggest blessings, your biggest gifts, your drive, but the lessons.
Speaker 2:But then you have the other people who, on the other side of that, choose to feel sorry for themselves, play victim, drink all the time, start doing drugs. And I understand when you're in that place and you're that broken and you do anything to take that pain away, cause I've been there. I sympathize with that, but I don't sympathize with this side. Playing a victim, you know, taking that pain away with temporary band-aids like drugs, alcohol, gambling, even your phone and porn and whatever all these other negatives, and they're more depressants, right. So you have to take look at the pain that you're dealing with and struggling with is your biggest blessing and finding the positive. Then use that to drive you, not destroy you. Drive you Because I wouldn't be or I wouldn't have done and accomplished certain things that I've accomplished up until today, within, say, the last two years, if I didn't go through one of the worst pains I've ever felt mentally Laying up in my room for five straight days, lose 30 pounds in six days because I couldn't eat. Laying up in my room for five straight days, lose 30 pounds in six days because I couldn't eat. But because of that, it was the most painful, enlightening thing I've ever experienced, because I chose this side rather than this side and I let that drive me and it was the hardest thing but the best thing I've ever done.
Speaker 2:If you're sitting in this, in that bottom, and you are feeling alone, broken, depressed, shattered, don't know where to turn, change that perspective and use that to fucking drive you, because where you get to on the other side of that is the clarity to be present in your everyday life and to feel a way you never thought you would, coming from that, because I lived 20 years of depression and anxiety and suicidal tendencies and thoughts and attempts and when you're in that for that long, you never think that you could feel the way that I could feel today. Or some people can feel and, like you said, the most successful people have come from nothing and rock bottom and they, they use that to drive them, they use that to benefit them. Don't let the pain, don't let that pain and depression break you. Use it to define you, to push you, to drive you.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you don't. Yeah, yeah, Definitely, man, you know, what I don't understand too't understand too is like when you're in that that state. You know, all the way down low, you know, and poor me, I'll never get this. I mean, it's harder to live that way than it is to do normal shit. Man, it really is harder to live that way. I mean, you think about it, you're depressed and you're not working, and then how are you going to find food, you know? Or how are you going to buy food, or how are you going to pay your bills? It's harder that way, you know you don't want to live like that. You know you don't want to live like that.
Speaker 1:You know you don't it's a hard way to live and a lot of people don't realize that, but it really is as humans for some reason always just focus on the negative and not the hundred other good things that's around you or beside you.
Speaker 2:Right, yeah, the hundred other good things that's around you or beside you Right.
Speaker 1:Well, that's social media for you, bro. I mean, you're in a bad, you're in a sad mood. You know you, you broke up with your girlfriend or whatever. You're going to look up all this sad shit, man, on social media and it's just going to fucking push you down deeper and deeper and deeper. You know, don't go watch fucking bunnies jumping through the grass on a beautiful day with trees and flowers, man, Forget the sad shit. You know what I mean. Like, what you see and what you're putting in your head is going to fuck with your emotions and make it even deeper. You know, Like I said, go watch something cute, go watch cats fucking swat each other or something I don't know.
Speaker 2:You know, like I said, go watch something. Go watch cats fucking swat each other or something I don't know you know, don't watch, fucking the depressing shit.
Speaker 1:yeah, man, turn your phone off, do not disturb. Do that for like two hours a day or something. You know, if you got a problem, do that Be in the present, be in the moment, except for if you're watching us, then you have to be 100% watching us. We're the most important out there?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think so, but on that, note, bro, it's always a pleasure man.
Speaker 2:I look forward to doing this every week and we're not going to stop. Like I said at the beginning, we've officially beat out 90% of all podcasts Because we still going, buddy, we still going. Nothing but big things this year, buddy, and you know, for you guys just just tuned in and listening um, we are raw minds. We are the first podcast to do it on men's mental health, where we share our struggles and our success stories and help you guys the best that we can, because we have lived 30-plus years of trauma, depression, pain, abuse.
Speaker 2:The list goes on and that's why we do what we do and that's why we sit here every week, talk to you guys and if you guys are really struggling and you're having a hard time and you don't know where to turn, you have no resources, no family or you just want somebody to talk to man, you hit us up, email us rawmindspodcasts at gmailcom, hit us up on the inbox on the TikTok man. We answer all your messages. We phone you, we help you. We'll do the best that we can. You know we're not doctors or therapists, but we've lived that life of trauma, basically, and pain. So that's why we're doing what we're doing. I want to thank everyone that's tuned in this week. We love you and on my end, if you can't find good people, be good people.
Speaker 1:Yeah, man, joey, thank you, buddy, and happy, sweet 42. Yeah, social media is a fucking brainwash fucking thing for sure. So be aware, definitely be aware, of the time you spend on your phone. Put that shit down, go smell the roses, go enjoy some sun. Anyways, on that note, be good or be good at it, take it easy, bye.