What if surrendering control could actually help you achieve your goals faster?
What if I told you that understanding and being mindful of your nervous system responses is crucial to achieving your goals and maintaining authenticity?
This episode invites you to rethink goals, manifestation, and your nervous system for more alignment, deeper authenticity, and greater mental wellness.
We’ll navigate through the intricate dance between momentum, resistance, and the natural flow of growth, offering a fresh perspective on how to handle these inevitable phases in your personal and professional journey.
Tune in to uncover the connections that could transform your approach to mental wellness and goal achievement.
✨ Join Limitless: Radical Authenticity (3 Month Self-Portrait & Writing Collective)
Episode Mentions
How Procrastination Influences Your Health Habits
How People-Pleasing Impacts Your Mental & Physical Health
💬 Text Haley Your Question/Feedback Here
How to Work Together
Links & Resources
Thank you to YOU, the listener, for being here on this journey together.
With a full heart (but always room for a slice of pizza),
Haley Schroth, RDN, LD, CPT, RYT, CMWC | Founder & Integrative Mental Wellness Coach
What if surrendering control could actually help you achieve your goals faster?
What if I told you that understanding and being mindful of your nervous system responses is crucial to achieving your goals and maintaining authenticity?
This episode invites you to rethink goals, manifestation, and your nervous system for more alignment, deeper authenticity, and greater mental wellness.
We’ll navigate through the intricate dance between momentum, resistance, and the natural flow of growth, offering a fresh perspective on how to handle these inevitable phases in your personal and professional journey.
Tune in to uncover the connections that could transform your approach to mental wellness and goal achievement.
✨ Join Limitless: Radical Authenticity (3 Month Self-Portrait & Writing Collective)
Episode Mentions
How Procrastination Influences Your Health Habits
How People-Pleasing Impacts Your Mental & Physical Health
💬 Text Haley Your Question/Feedback Here
How to Work Together
Links & Resources
Thank you to YOU, the listener, for being here on this journey together.
With a full heart (but always room for a slice of pizza),
Haley Schroth, RDN, LD, CPT, RYT, CMWC | Founder & Integrative Mental Wellness Coach
Howdy friend, welcome to Unforged, an unfiltered holistic nutrition and mental wellness podcast for evolving folks that crave a delicious life of fulfillment. Haley, here I am, your host, a trauma-informed functional medicine dietitian, holistic mental wellness coach and the founder of the Fulfilled Fork. On this show, we dish up insights and activations while learning about sustainable mind, body, soul lifestyle practices. It's sweet, it's savory and it'll spice up your life. To stay connected, make sure you sign up for our unforked email list at thefulfilledforkcom. Forward slash links. Let's dig into the episode. Thefulfilledforkcom. Forward slash links. Let's dig into the episode. Howdy friend, and welcome back to the Unforked podcast. I am so, so excited that you are here. As always, if you are new here, welcome. I'm just so stoked to have you. I'm so stoked to have you and I've noticed that I've had quite a few new listeners, so I just want to send a special welcome and gratitude out. Today we are talking momentum flow, manifestation goals. We are even talking nervous system regulation, trauma response and the polyvagal theory. Of course, if we're talking about the nervous system and how that shows up in your health and how it shows up in reaching your health goals, in manifesting the things in your life that you want to manifest, whether it's health-related or not, it is a huge influence and, like always, this is not something I see anyone talking about. I don't know if I've ever seen anyone talking about this at all in this way, so I would like to bring this conversation forward. I also want to mention, before we get into the episode, that I do have an episode on procrastination and health and mental wellness, and then I also have an episode on people pleasing and fawning behavior and how that influences your health, and so those two episodes will be great ones to listen to, if you haven't already, and just bring more depth into this conversation that we are having today. Those will be linked in the show notes if you are interested in checking those episodes out.
Speaker 1:And before we dive into the meat, into the main course of the episode, here's our appetizer. Your appetizer is Ignite, and Ignite is my free training on how to ignite your mental wellness transformation and confidently step into your next level of health with the power of epigenetics. So we are using your literal DNA and the influence that everything literally everything in your life has on your DNA. That's what we are talking about in the Ignite your Mental Wellness training. Inside of the free training, you are going to learn about the difference between mental illness and mental wellness. We are also going to dive deeper into the continuum of holistic mental wellness. So how do I see holistic mental wellness and how do I use nutrigenomics and nutrigenetics in combination with holistic mental wellness practices, principles, to tap into your unique health blueprint? That way you can have more potent, sustainable results in your health, your goals and overall life. So we're also addressing why you're not seeing results in your physical and mental health and well-being. Yet what is going on? What are some things that might be happening in your life that are keeping you from seeing results? So we're diving into that extensively in this free training, and inside of the training is a personal mental wellness assessment and intuition check. Obviously, if you're here, we love intuition around here and this personal mental wellness assessment is going to support you in integrating the information and deciding on your next steps to reclaim your health and wholeness, so that, of course, you can go on to live your most flavorful, fulfilled life and make that profound impact on the world that you are desiring. My comprehensive holistic mental wellness, epigenetics-based, trauma-informed approach to health is abso-fucking-lutely going to change the way that you view and claim your health, so I would love to see you inside. If any of that or all of that is a hell yes to you, please sign up in the show notes for the free training Ignite. And yeah, I just can't fucking wait to see you in there. Yeah, I just can't fucking wait to see you in there. And if you are interested in claiming your limitless authenticity and power, unraveling the layers that have kept your true essence confined. So all that conditioning and perhaps trauma responses you know I always integrate that If you are ready to embrace your limitless authenticity and power, please join me inside.
Speaker 1:Limitless Radical Authenticity. This is my three-month collective self-portrait and creative writing exploration. It is a rebellion against mindless conformity. It is a declaration of healing and embracing the depths of your authentic self so that you can feel seen, you can feel valued and secure in your mind and body. Limitless radical authenticity is for you if you are feeling unsafe or stuck in your ability to show up as your authentic self in public, especially so that's like your business, your work, your home life, etc. And you want to practice feeling confident as fuck in your ability to be yourself and embody your life's purpose. I know that's if you're around here. That's what we're doing right. That's what all of us that's what all of us are are are continually doing and moving towards every day. So I want you to feel safe enough in that pursuit, and that is something that we are anchoring into in this exploration.
Speaker 1:If you also desire to learn how to take better photos of yourself that look incredible, showcase your mission and feel in harmony with your unique essence, then Limitless Radical Authenticity is for you. It doesn't matter if you're a business owner. If you are creative, are interested in better self-portraits, if you are anyone, this container exploration is for you. If you are ready to take up space to practice being seen, practice being valued and known by others in a safe container that is comprised of badass, creative folks, then Limitless is for you. You're going to develop that deeper sense of intuition and self-trust in Limitless. If you are craving a creative container that you can practice in public and gives you that undeniable permission to take care of yourself first and nourish your soul permission to take care of yourself first and nourish your soul that is what we are doing inside of Limitless. This is a huge one, Hi, this is my personal practice as well, and so I would love for you to join me in this personal creative exploration and, if you desire, to use journaling and self-portraits as a mirror, a very powerful mirror, for self-reflection, learning and letting go of what no longer serves your vision, your values and your most fulfilled life. That is what we are doing in this program, in this collective creative exploration. Super chill like, oh my gosh, it is going to be an incredible space and I originally was planning on launching it pretty much now, but I decided that it needed more space and more time to come into fruition. The space has not opened yet. I'm planning on opening it in June, in June, and so you still have time to join Limitless Radical Authenticity authenticity. If this amazing, fucking incredible self-portrait and creative writing exploration feels like a yes, a pull, an intuitive nudge to dive deeper into this aspect of your yourself, your health and your well-being, if this is calling you forward, please join me. I would love to have you inside of Limitless Radical Authenticity Link is also in the show notes to join, if that is right up your alley.
Speaker 1:All right, now let's dive in to the main course of today's episode. We, like I mentioned earlier, are talking about momentum. We're talking about resistance and flow and nervous system regulation and how that all comes together. Like, how do, how do any of these pieces fit together Haley that's probably what you're wondering In reaching my goals and intentions and manifesting, and so that is exactly what we are talking about today. So I have my journal here and you're probably like what the hell, haley? But I have my journal and I just want to convey a few things that I wrote down the other day.
Speaker 1:Well, over the past couple of days, as I was contemplating goals and momentum, and I feel like the other day I don't know if you I'm sure you can relate You're here on a holistic mental wellness podcast, so I can actually guarantee that you relate to sometimes feeling like you're in a moment of crisis and because you're a human right. And so several days ago, I feel like I had a whole day it was like a day and a half where I just didn't feel good. I've been weaning off of a small, small, small dose of antidepressant and it's been messing me up. I've been a little nauseous on some days and anyway. So this one day in particular, I was just not feeling great physically and then, all of a sudden, I was not feeling great mentally as well and I had a moment of, and I had a moment of crisis, an internal crisis, when I was around 25 years old. At that time, I was calling it my quarter-life crisis, like, oh my God, what am I doing? Where am I going? And I actually want to say how I think that those moments are really, really important. Not only are they natural, because we can't exist in a state of feeling 100% all of the time Like there are going to journaling and, of course, to like my resources. I don't know, I just turned to my resources, as I do.
Speaker 1:I ended up at the end of the day pulling an Oracle card from a beautiful deck by Rebecca Campbell, and it is. It's the water one. I can't remember what it's called. Off the top of my head. I can picture the box. If you know me, you know, you know that that's how my brain works. I think it's healing waters is what I want to say. Anyway, absolutely incredible deck. I am obsessed with it and I hadn't pulled a card in a while, but I felt called to and so the card I happened to pull on that day where I was feeling a little bit in crisis, and in crisis I was feeling a lot of resistance. I was feeling a little bit of confusion and like resistant, I don't know. I was just feeling a little frozen, I guess. And so when I pulled the card, it was called Into the Unknown and it was an image of a figure looking down into the depths of the ocean, like into a deep dark hole, and I was like, oh, my fucking God, this would be the one card that I pull today. This would be it. This would be the one card that I pull today. This would be it.
Speaker 1:And the reflection there's a reflection question in her guidebook, and so it was something about surrendering, like where can you surrender? Where can you look at your fears, essentially, and like take a new step forward, essentially, and take a new step forward, a new action forward? My interpretation was that I needed to surrender, I was trying to control more than I wanted to, first of all, and needed to, second of all, and it had me in a really reflective state and so I was reflecting on manifestation and achieving my goals and, all of the times, how, how it felt and in many different situations, how it felt in my body, how I pretty much always when it was a really big goal, and especially like when I was really getting intentional on moving towards my most fulfilled life and stepping into myself, my authenticity. As I was doing that, I realized that there was just I used to be a very like trying to control the situation, trying to control the outcome, kind of person and I it was very unconscious for a long time and there was a one of my rock bottoms if you've read my, my story, my about story on my website and it was one of my rock bottoms and that was that was like a pivotal moment for me when I realized that I needed to surrender more. And so when I was reflecting, I was thinking, okay, how is, how is my current situation similar to that? And in that, like, where can I surrender further? Like, where am I trying to control tiny, tiny things and how can I move into a state of surrender? As I was doing that, I realized that there are so many things, even like when I okay story.
Speaker 1:So I used to drive a like blacked out Mustang 2012 Mustang and I fucking loved it. It was manual. It was, oh my God, my most amazing car. When that came into my life, it was by complete accident. I was not looking for it, I didn't know I wanted it. I didn't know I needed it, wanted it. I didn't know I needed it and it happened, and it was so fucking effortless. And then later on I was later on, as in, I think, like six years later, I don't know I got the Mustang. And I bought the Mustang when I was in college. I think I was like 20, 21. Can't remember. But fast forward. And now I'm living in Wyoming, I'm living by myself. This is like far away from my family. So if the Mustang gets stuck anywhere, like in the snow, I'm fucked. I can't call my dad to help me anymore.
Speaker 1:And so I was like, oh my God, and I also wanted to have more freedom to go explore in the mountain, because that is what I love to do. And so I was like I want a forerunner. And as I was manifesting this forerunner, it felt so fucking easy. I just knew I wanted it, I knew it was time and I didn't try to control. I didn't, I didn't push, I didn't yeah, I wasn't pushing. And so when I wasn't pushing, guess what? It happened a lot faster. When I wasn't pushing, guess what? It happened a lot faster. I was just going with life and responding and doing the things that I was called to do and not worrying about when I was going to get it, worrying about what was it going to look like, how was I going to get it there's not a lot of cars here in Wyoming that are for sale, especially when I'm looking for a very particular vehicle and it came so easily within. I think it was like a month or so and I had been kind of considering this a little bit off and on for a while. Yeah, and that happened.
Speaker 1:And then I got to thinking about how Badger, my dog, came into my life and I was like I wasn't. He happened by accident too, not by complete accident. I was browsing, I was just curious, browsing for dogs, like I really wanted a wiener dog. Anyway, I ended up with Badger, who's a German Shepherd mini Aussie mix it's not a wiener dog and he was absolutely perfect and he came at the most absolutely insane aligned time. It was incredible and as I was thinking about all of these different situations, I realized that the surrender for me needs to take place and that card was just perfect. It was just perfect, and so this relates to what we're talking about today because one as we're reaching towards our goals as we are setting an intention and moving towards it.
Speaker 1:There is an element of surrender, and that's a really important piece to know and to remember and to anchor into is that we have to be surrendering, we have to surrender. We have to surrender, like, where are you trying to control just a little bit too much? Where are you trying to control the outcome? Where are you trying to control how it comes into your life? That's amazing. That's a part that's important for you to think about. Like you have to know what you want in order to move towards it and to receive it. But when you're controlling and not surrendering, that's when we get caught up in the resistance a lot. And what is control and what is resistance? Those are nervous system responses. Those are nervous system responses. Those are nervous system responses. And so, being aware of these nervous system responses and our unique ways in which we respond to the environment, to what we're going out to do, like you know me, I've talked about people, people pleasing, I've talked about procrastination, and those are trauma responses. And so, recognizing what are your trauma responses, what are the ways in which your nervous system tends to respond to its environment, to the stimuli in your life Like we have to know. You have to know how your body tends to respond, and that is where the polyvagal theory comes in. That is where we can now look at the feeling of being in resistance towards our dreams, goals, desires, and being in flow towards our dreams, goals, desires and manifestations.
Speaker 1:I want you to pause and feel in your body what is a time when you have felt immense resistance towards a goal. It could be like a health goal, such as healthy eating, such as healthy eating, exercise. It could be a goal similar to mine, like I wanted a dog, I wanted a forerunner. It could be a relationship, it could be financial, it could be in any of the aspects of health. So first think about the feeling of resistance when reaching a goal or an intention, and then I want you to access how it feels in your body, to feel flow. What did it feel like when reaching the goal after you set the intention? How did that feel when it just all fell into place Quite seamlessly, like with very little to no resistance? How did that feel? Was there a difference in how your body was responding to the situation or to the goal? Like, maybe, certain goals that feel more important to you.
Speaker 1:You notice more resistance. That's a really common thing that I see, no matter what the goal is, and definitely in health, like it's really, it's there, there's a lot of weight to it. Um, a lot of the times because people especially so if somebody has prediabetes, for example they're feeling a lot of importance, they know that they're coming to see me and this person is like, oh my gosh, it's really important that I, that I work on my health, like I want to work on my health so that I don't develop diabetes and so I can put my pre-diabetes into remission. Sometimes, when there's when the, when the goal or intention feels more important to us, there's a lot more resistance. Can I do it? Our mind gets in the way, lots of things get in the way Procrastination, people pleasing, all the things get in the way.
Speaker 1:And I wanted you to recognize the difference, because when you feel the difference in your body, there's your awareness. It's so much easier for you to recognize it, similarly to how I all of a sudden recognized it. So I want you to file that feeling away. File how it feels to feel resistance somewhere, somewhere in your brain, somewhere in your body. File that away. File how it feels, to feel in flow, file that away and I know that after this exercise, after this discussion and conversation, that you will be better able to recognize it next time it comes up in your life. You will be better able to see oh my gosh, I am trying to control, I'm feeling a lot more resistance. You will be better able to recognize when you are in flow and how that feels. Then you will have more information and be conscious to the fact that and mindful to the fact that you are in a certain nervous system state and once you are aware and conscious of the fact, you can then turn compassion towards yourself, which then decreases the resistance to getting out of that feeling and out of that state, that nervous system state, and back into flow a lot faster, with a lot more ease, rather than resisting the resistance or being angry that we're resistant or being frustrated or being guilty, feeling guilt and feeling shame against the resistance.
Speaker 1:That's a really common thing that I see all the time in my clients. They feel shame and they feel guilt for what some people call self-sabotaging, these behaviors, these nervous system responses. You will often hear people refer to these reactions, responses and behaviors as self-sabotage or unconscious self-sabotage, because nobody is self-sabotaging. I mean, I don't want to say nobody, but most people are not self-sabotaging on purpose. It is unconscious, it is a subconscious process. So I know you've heard the saying you have to feel it to heal it. That is unconscious, it is a subconscious process. So I know you've heard the saying you have to feel it to heal it. That applies here and you have to be aware of it to move forward. That definitely applies, or at least to move forward faster and with more ease. Absolutely Okay.
Speaker 1:And one more caveat before we dive into the nervous system regulation piece is that there's a difference between feeling resistance and feeling a plateau. So resistance is when you feel like you are coming up against against a brick wall, when there's a boulder in your field and you can't move that boulder and your plants won't grow, or they're growing all wonky because there's a big ass boulder in your field, or you're pushing a ball up a hill, not a ball, a boulder and no matter what you do, you feel like it's very difficult, or you're going super slow or yeah, just sucks. That's how I, that's, that's like how I was feeling the other day. Those feelings are resistance. That is resistance. It feels hard.
Speaker 1:A plateau, on the other hand, is different because you don't feel the feeling of resistance, you don't feel the hardness of achieving an intention or a goal, but you do feel a feeling of stuckness, of perhaps complacency, of sameness, and a plateau is where you have the opportunity to refine. A plateau is where you have the opportunity to decide if where you're headed is indeed where you want to continue moving forward to, or if you need to pivot, or if you feel complete in whatever it is that you are doing, learning or manifesting. This is where you get to decide is this my goal or is this somebody else's expectation of me? Is this society's expectation of me? Am I doing this in a way that is aligned with my values? Am I doing this in a way that is sustainable? Am I doing this in a way in which, when I get to the destination, when I arrive, am I going to feel good about how I arrived there, or am I going to feel really shitty about it Because I pushed and, pushed and burned out all the way to the destination? So a plateau is a blessing. A plateau is a fucking blessing.
Speaker 1:Let's reframe it. Everyone thinks that plateaus are bad. Plateaus are not bad. Plateaus are so not bad. They can feel bad sometimes, but that is our perception of the plateau. The plateau itself is not inherently bad, just like a food itself is not inherently bad. That pizza is not inherently bad. That cookie is not inherently bad. That cookie is not inherently bad. It's our perception of the pizza or the cookie that makes that food, assigns a moral value to that food. We decide what is good or bad. We decide that. So, reframing that a plateau is not bad, a plateau is a blessing. A plateau is absolutely a blessing. It's a chance to unwind from the programming, the conditioning, the limiting beliefs, the trauma responses.
Speaker 1:If you want a visualization of a plateau, there's upward trajectory and then it flatlines upward trajectory and then it flatlines. And then what happens after the flatline? Well, it depends. It depends on where you want to go. If indeed you are making an aligned decision. I 100% believe that that plateau, at the end of that plateau, there is going to be an upward momentum again. That is where you get to stabilize. That is where you get to stabilize your foundation so that there's more ease as you are growing.
Speaker 1:Again. Growth is natural. Growth is not only natural for the plants and the trees, but it is natural for us and, just in general, for the universe. Growth is natural, as is flow, if you think about the river. The river is always flowing down the path of least resistance. That's where the river goes. So you can either do like the salmon do when they swim uphill they swim against the current, which is an incredible feat. They're absolutely incredible, but that's a whole different point. Now I've got myself thinking about salmon in Alaska. But we can either go against that current or we can go with the current, and a lot of the times we're going against the current because, because, because, because we are in somebody else's values.
Speaker 1:We are operating from patterns of trauma, from conditioning, from programming. We're operating from places in which are not us. We are operating from places that are not authentic to us, and this is different for every single person. What's authentic to you is not authentic to me. We might have commonalities. There's always going to be a different texture, taste, flavor, different way of cooking it up. It's always going to be a difference. And when we think about that trajectory, that growth trajectory, even with the plateaus in it, that is going to happen a lot faster. You're going to get to where you're going a lot faster than if you are on the trajectory of pushing the boulder up a hill. That's slow. Can you still get there? Yeah, are you going to struggle? Probably Some of us are more conditioned to stay in those patterns of struggle.
Speaker 1:We have beliefs that the outcome is not worth it unless I struggle. That's one that I've had to continue is not worth it unless I struggle. That's one that I've had to continue working on throughout my adult life. Sometimes I find myself getting in the thick of it and being in hard, hard things, doing things the fucking hard way, not because I want to, but because there's some sort of moral value that I have attached to that, which is like the pull up from your bootstraps. I can make it through anything kind of way, not for the sake of like getting to the destination, but for the sake of it being hard, because being harder is better. You're more worthy. If there was a struggle, we can nix that. We can nix that struggle. We can nix that, we can nix that, and that is something that is passed down from many generations, especially if depending on, like, the intergenerational trauma that has happened.
Speaker 1:Anyway, so we've talked about the feeling of resistance versus the feeling of flow and how that shows up when setting an intention and moving towards that goal in that manifestation process. And when I say manifestation I'm saying like physically manifesting these things, and it could be like it could be internal manifestations too, like manifesting a feeling, for example. But with all of that being said, the resistance in the flow, that to me directly corresponds to nervous system regulation, and I know you're wondering how. So let's talk about it. I look at resistance as being in a state of dorsal or sympathetic response, and so that's when we're either feeling the fight, flight, freeze or fawn responses. So frozen is what we would associate with the dorsal, vagal nervous system response. Fight and flight is what we associate with the sympathetic nervous system response and fawn, on the other hand, is a little bit different, because it is a combination of feeling frozen and fight and flight.
Speaker 1:And fawning is when people appease others to avoid the conflict or danger, and this can be perceived conflict or danger, like when we're thinking about visibility and putting ourselves out there. Most of it is perceived conflict or danger. There can be actual conflict or danger. Right, people might come for you God, I hope not, but it's a possibility of being kicked out of the tribe right, and so that's where the fawning responses come in. The people-pleasing responses come in, because you are then acting in ways which do not feel authentic to you in order to avoid the conflict, avoid the danger, like your body just takes over. Your body just takes over and says no, no, no. This is what we're doing.
Speaker 1:And so when we are looking at this view, my view of nervous system regulation and manifestation, we can look at Dr Stephen Porges' polyvagal theory, and so that's what I was explaining of this nervous system continuum, of this nervous system response, and when we are looking at that, we move. It's fluid. We move up and down, we move all over this continuum all the time. We can even move through it in the course of a day, in the course of a couple hours. We are always moving through it.
Speaker 1:So we are not always going to feel social engagement, which is our nervous system response. When we are feeling connected, joyful, present, fulfilled, mindful, compassionate curiosity, we are feeling open, mindful, compassionate curiosity. We are feeling open. This is where we feel connection and safety, and this is the ventral vagal nervous system, this is the parasympathetic nervous system. We have decreased defensiveness and this is when we are able to be more mindful. Quicker, it's easier for us to access the patterning, the programming, all that stuff. It's much easier. And when we dip down into that sympathetic or dorsal, vagal response, it can be more difficult for us to see our programming. And so the more we anchor into those feelings of resistance and flow, the easier it is for us, no matter what state we are in, no matter what nervous system state we are in, it becomes easier and easier and easier for us to recognize our patterns, to recognize how our body is responding to certain situations and we've talked about in that sympathetic response.
Speaker 1:It's the fight and flight. So we're either moving towards or we are moving away from something and we can feel panic, fear, anxiety, worry, concern, frustration, irritation. We can feel anger and rage in this sympathetic response. And when we are frozen, it's a collapse response. And when we are frozen, it's a collapse, it's an immobility. We are feeling shame, we are feeling shut down, we are feeling hopeless, we are feeling trapped, helpless, depressed, numb, and we are dissociating. We are overwhelmed. You can be overwhelmed in the sympathetic response as well. It's not that you can't be overwhelmed any other time, but it's like an existential overwhelm, much like, perhaps, what I was feeling the other day. I just needed to take some time and nourish myself so that I could get out of that freeze response.
Speaker 1:And so when we freeze, we may be having a nervous system response that brings about that resistance, which is also you can look at it as the freeze response bringing about an immobilization towards our goals, towards our manifestations, because our bodies and our minds perceive that there is a situation. The situation of taking action and moving forward is unsafe in some shape, way or form. When we've fallen, we may be still moving forward, right, because we are in the frozen state and the fight or flight state, so we can still move forward. But we're probably masking, we're probably behaving in ways that are not truly authentic to us or, more often than not, when we are in that fawn response, so that's when our values can be compromised, that's when we may be taking action towards something that somebody says oh, this is how you should do it. And maybe it's a coach. So say, you have a coach, and that coach is saying, oh my gosh, this is how you should do nutrition, like you have to do it this way, this is the only way. And you're thinking in your body like, ooh, this doesn't feel good, but I want to get there. And your body responds by just doing what that person says is correct, even if it doesn't align with you, even if it doesn't feel good to you and you may not be able to consciously discern that in the moment.
Speaker 1:Like there are situations now that I have a greater awareness of that, I can look back and say particularly I'm thinking about business coaching right now In health I've kind of just done whatever the fuck I've always wanted to do, like that hasn't been one of my struggles. And so when I first started my business, there were a few things, a few ways, in which somebody said I had to do something that way and I didn't know any other way and I really like the business was really important to me, it was very important to me and so I did it in that way because that person said that was how I had to do it. And there was a part of me that felt, oh, I want to achieve this goal and oh, I'm more valuable if I achieve this goal, other people will think better of me, more highly of me. If I achieve people pleasers, high achievers and procrastinators oh, I see you. I see you.
Speaker 1:So when we're thinking about health and wellness, and mental wellness in particular, like if you are coaching with me, my highest priority, my highest fucking priority, is that you are feeling aligned, is that you are feeling a state of calmness and connection in our relationship, is that you feel safe to say nope, that is not within my values or I not doing it in that way is not within how I or what feels good for me. Amazing, great. That's golden information for me as a coach and it's golden information for you as a client, as a person being coached, to then reiterate and build that muscle of self-trust, and so we can see how that freeze response can be coming up in not feeling of resistance. Maybe you're feeling resistant, but you're still moving forwards towards that goal because how you're doing it is not aligned with your life, your dreams, your desires, your goals, your visions, with your unique you, your unique way of doing things. And when you are in the frozen state, maybe your body is telling you, hey, hey, hey, hey, there is a perceived threat here, there is a perceived sense of unsafety here in either the goal or the intention or the way in which I am moving towards that. So then you can take a pause and say, hmm, okay, do I need to plug into coaching? Hmm, okay, do I need to plug into coaching to help me move forward with this and to unpack it and to move past it and to integrate this lesson and be able to reflect or have reflection from somebody that is not in the thick of it, or maybe you don't need as much support at the moment and maybe you can just go and do something another way. It's like, oh shit, okay, wow, didn't recognize I was doing that and now I do. Now I do so, now I can move forward. So hopefully that helps you understand a little bit more about my views on the polyvagal theory, nervous system regulation and how it connects to manifestation, achieving our dreams, goals, desires, greater purpose, life's vision, how all of that is interconnected.
Speaker 1:And I do want to remind you that trauma responses are automatic nervous system responses. It automatically happens in your body. It is not conscious and if you have experienced trauma in your life which I'm going to say is every single person in one way, shape or form your ability to respond to situations in what you would pressure yourself and think of as the right way to respond to a situation. That's how our really critical brains think. Sometimes it's oh, no, no, no, this is the right way, this is the way I should be responding to something.
Speaker 1:Or if you are a person who has experienced trauma, your ability to respond to the situations in your life, to the feedback from your environment, it is altered, and it is altered in a way that is keeping you safe in one way, and so again, we can turn that compassion towards ourselves and a lot of times we end up like reparenting ourselves around a certain situation. We end up deconditioning, we end up moving through trauma and past programming and conditioning to move forward from that nervous system response. Move forward from that either p in some situations or our trauma response. So the end goal or the vision I have for you is to be more aware is to practice mindfulness around how your nervous system reacts and responds to certain situations in your health, in your life. When you are moving towards a health goal, so when you are actively working towards decreasing your anxiety, decreasing your depression, regulating your stress responses, clearing up your skin, improving your immune system, decreasing your cortisol levels, fixing your digestion, regulating and balancing your microbiome, your gut health, when you are doing and moving towards all those things and actively working towards those things.
Speaker 1:It is important to recognize and remember that we are moving through these nervous system responses the entire time. There will be times where you are on a roll, you are on that upwards trajectory and then all of a sudden you are feeling loads of resistance, you don't know why. There will be times when you are on the upwards trajectory and then all of a sudden you hit that plateau. There will be times where you start something and you feel like you are pushing a fucking boulder up a hill and the hill just keeps getting bigger and bigger and bigger and bigger and bigger and like, why can't I get there? Why can't I reach my health goal? Why can't I improve my digestion? Why can't I exercise more consistently? Why can't I gain weight? Why can't I lose weight? Why is my anxiety not improving? Why is my depression not improving? Well, it's an opportunity to pause again. And it's an opportunity to pause again and it's an opportunity to recognize where you are at on this journey in your response, in your nervous system, like what is happening internally, what is happening. And when you recognize what is happening internally, then you can move forward, then you can get the help and support that you need in that area, or you can just move forward and take the action right. So all of this is a tool for greater awareness.
Speaker 1:This is how I think about nervous system regulation and moving towards your dreams, goals, desires, and manifesting your best fucking life, your most flavorful, fulfilled life, manifesting your best health. You are manifesting feeling amazing in your mind, body and soul. If you want more support around this, I invite you to join me in private coaching. I invite you to join me in Ignite the mental wellness training, and or I invite you into my creative exploration Limitless, radical Authenticity my three-month container there. Radical authenticity my three-month container there.
Speaker 1:Links are going to be in the show notes for private coaching, for booking that mental wellness breakthrough, which is the first step if you are desiring more support in your mental health, in your physical health and in achieving physical health and in achieving, in moving towards mental wellness overall, holistically, in an epigenetics, trauma-informed way. You're going to book that holistic mental wellness breakthrough and then we start private coaching if you want to move forward from there. So there's that initial forward from there. So there's that initial appointment and then we decide what package is going to be the best fit for your unique needs. And if you dive into the Ignite, your Mental Wellness training one, I mentioned, there's going to be that self-assessment, which will be incredibly helpful, especially after this conversation today. And two, there's a special invitation inside of the Ignite training to do further work with me to harness the power of epigenetics-based nutrition and mental wellness. Harness your unique blueprint, your actual DNA. How do you use that information in ways that can drastically change your health and ultimately help you live your most fulfilled, flavorful, incredible life? Amazing, my friend.
Speaker 1:If you have any questions, if you would like further discussion on this topic, please feel free to message me, shoot me a message.
Speaker 1:There is a link in the show notes, of course, for you to do so, so I would absolutely love to hear from you. As always, I would absolutely love to continue supporting you on your mental wellness journey in greater depth through my coaching, through my programs and here on the podcast and in my Unforked email newsletter, which can also be found in the show notes, if you'd like to sign up there. Wonderful, wonderful, wonderful, my friend, I hope you have an absolutely phenomenal day. I will see you next time here on Unforged. Thank you for listening to Unforged. You can find all resources and links from this episode in the show notes at thefulfilledforkcom forward slash podcast. If you enjoyed the episode, we'd love if you'd send it to a friend and rate and review the show on either Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Then email us a screenshot of your review to howdy at thefulfilledforkcom for a one-time credit to use towards our wellness services at the Fulfilled Fork Chat soon.