Nurse Maureen‘s Health Show Podcast

Between the Sheets: Low Sexual Desire in Women and What You Can About It

• Maureen McGrath • Season 1 • Episode 36

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Have you ever wondered what's behind the curtain of women's sexual desires? Let me, Maureen McGrath, a seasoned sexual health educator, guide you through the complex ballet of factors influencing female libido. We'll unravel the threads of stress, fatigue, and medical conditions that can lead to decreased sexual desire and how innovative devices like the Womanizer can revitalize pleasure. This episode isn't just about challenges; it's an opportunity to learn how to enhance intimacy and reclaim your sexual health holistically.

Tune in for a conversation that goes beyond the bedroom, as we examine the profound impact of mental health, relationship dynamics, and body acceptance on sexual desire. From the psychological underpinnings of body image to the pivotal role of responsive desire in keeping the flames of passion alive in long-term relationships, we cover it all. Practical advice on hormone therapy, the significance of candid communication, and navigating sexual health as an integral part of our lives are all on the table. With personal anecdotes and expert insights, this episode offers a compassionate and comprehensive look at the intimate tapestry of women's sexual well-being.

Maureen McGrath:

If you enjoy the show, there's one simple way you can show your support Just hit the follow button on the app you're using to listen to the show. Right now, I'm working so hard to take everything on the show to the next level, and your follow means a lot to me. It's the only free thing I'll ever ask of you and it truly makes a big difference. Thank you sincerely for your support. I truly appreciate it.

Maureen McGrath:

This podcast is brought to you by Life360 Innovations, the creators of the Contino urethral insert, a non-surgical, health Canada licensed medical device for men with stress urinary incontinence. Contino is easy to use and blocks the flow of urine without the need for adult diapers or pads. More than just a medical device, the Contino Care Program connects you with experienced medical professionals and creates a personalized treatment plan that provides ongoing support so you can get back to life. Go to mycontinocom to see if Contino is right for you and book your free continence assessment. Get bladder leakage control with Contino and get back to living. Remember, go to mycontinocom. That's M-Y-C-O-N-T-I-N-Ocom, mycontinocom.

Maureen McGrath:

Welcome to another episode of my Little Health Show podcast. I have to say I've been having so much fun doing a podcast. It's very different than broadcasting and it's so much fun and I want to thank you all for tuning in, for following me. It is greatly appreciated. I'm Maureen McGrath, a registered nurse, nurse, continence advisor and a sexual health educator. I've been in clinical practice for over 20 years treating women with sexual health issues, men with sexual health issues, couples in sexless marriages, women with bladder concerns, as well as men vaginal health issues, low sexual desire, body image issues, weight management. This is kind of my shtick, this is my thing. And you know what? They're all related, they are all intertwined together and it's never really one thing, it is a multitude and one thing is related to something else.

Maureen McGrath:

And one of the most common things and I've done a lot of research in this area is I see women with low sexual desire or low libido and you and it's confusing for women Women aren't taught about the female sexual response cycle, that desire which doesn't always come first the arousal, the lubrication, the excitement, the orgasm, the plateau, the orgasm, and then the resolution. And so one time at a talk I said does anybody know what the female sexual response cycle is? And people were like confused, they had no idea. One person raised her hand and said is it a sex toy? It is not, but a sex toy is good for low sexual desire, and what I recommend is the Womanizer. It's a clitoral stimulation device. It's awesome. It's amazing. It helps women with primary anorgasmia, women who've never experienced orgasm in their life, or it also helps women to experience an orgasm faster, and so it can be used alone or with a partner.

Maureen McGrath:

But you know what? A lot of women, at certain times in their lives, are not interested in sex, and so they have low sexual desire. You know, you've been there. Your partner's in the mood. You're not. Maybe they've even set the mood lighting, they've dimmed the lights, they've made a romantic candlelit dinner, they put on your favorite music and you love your partner very much, but you're just not in the mood. In fact, it's not just tonight, it's not here and there on occasion, which is normal, but it happens all the time. And if it happens all the time for you, you may be experiencing low libido, and it's a condition that results in a decreased sex drive and disinterest in foreplay or intercourse. And it is confusing. Women are like why aren't I in the mood anymore? And there's many different times in life or things that can happen that can lead to low sexual desire. One of the most common ones, or the number one reason for low sexual desire, is fatigue. You know women are busy these days, caring for children, aging parents, they're just having a hectic week or, you know, busy with their work inside and outside of the home. I mean, you know it just adds up the responsibilities, add up the bill paying maybe you're having financial issues and your libido can take a nosedive, and then stress can be a major contributor to fatigue as well. So you know, fatigue is something that can be managed and it's really putting yourself ahead of other people. Another reason women may experience low libido is because they have difficulty reaching orgasm. Hence the womanizer comes in Again. I love that sex toy. I love the name. I didn't used to love the name. When they first sent it to me I was like, oh, of course they take. Uh, they take our name. You know womanizer I mean womanizer is associated with negativity and hurtfulness, and so I feel like this device has reclaimed that word. Uh, for womankind it's a fabulous device. But you know, a lot of women do have difficulty reaching orgasm or they might have painful sex and you know that can put a damper on your desire and so it reduces your interest in sexual intimacy. But there's treatments for that. You can have a personal moisturizer or localized estrogen therapy for the painful sex. Also, there's treatments for having difficulty reaching orgasm as well, and that can also involve localized estrogen therapy, personal moisturizer and using the womanizer. Of course the womanizer, of course Women who experience arthritis, diabetes, cancer, other physical illnesses, neurological diseases can impact a woman's sexual desire.

Maureen McGrath:

Antidepressants, particularly the selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors or the SSRIs, the Prozacs, the Paxils, the Zolofts they actually tank your sexual desire. So you know, and that is a problem. It treats your depression and then you have low sexual desire. So it's a big issue. Hormonal changes so perimenopause, menopause or other changes in hormones can directly affect how interested you are in sex. As I mentioned about vaginal health, you know the tissue can become thinner and drier at menopause as well, and then intercourse can be uncomfortable or even painful.

Maureen McGrath:

You know women who have entered menopause or postmenopausal are at great risk of low libido or low sexual desire After you've had a baby, or during pregnancy. Or after you've had a baby, or during pregnancy, um or after you've had a baby, postpartum, breastfeeding, your body is undergoing so many hormonal changes, and so there are a number of contributors to low libido at this time, including change in body image, fatigue and the challenges of caring for a new baby. The last thing you want is you know somebody over you, especially after you've been breastfeeding. But you know, body image doesn't just occur at, you know, pregnancy or postpartum or breastfeeding. You know body image affects so many, a large, large percent of women, you know, don't like how their bodies look. I even had one woman who told me that this, like one inch of what she thought was extra fat on her thigh made her so self-conscious during intimate relations with her partner. Uh, women, you know, don't like their stomachs. They don't want their stomachs touched. They don't. They feel they have a big butt or big hips. Um, they don't like their bodies. You know a lot of women are dissatisfied and they might want to have sex with the lights out, for example, and they don't want to be touched in certain areas. And so body image is a big issue and I do a lot of work around around that. And you know, oftentimes it is related to additional weight or an elevated BMI or obesity, and and once again I just want to mention my all in nutrition plan. It is awesome. I'm happy to send it to you. Just email me, nursetalkathotmailcom. It provides a shopping list, all of the different choices of foods that you should be consuming, and also it offers some meal suggestions as well. So it's a great, comprehensive way to lose weight and keep you in good shape. It works so well for patients who are compliant. Of course, you need to check with your doctor make sure it's okay, but it's a very healthy diet. It's low glycemic index, higher protein, low carb and really cuts out the sugar and it can be very effective. So email me, nursetalk at hotmailcom. I am happy to send that off to you.

Maureen McGrath:

The Sunday Night Health Show podcast is brought to you by Couples Co. Because you know what they say life's too short for bad sex. Couples Co is committed to everyone having better relationships and sex through intimacy, play and pleasure. So head on over to the website, couplescocom. That's couplescocom Because you know what they say life's too short for bad sex. You know we, as women, don't accept our bodies. That's so much more common than you know than thinking, than feeling like you have an amazing body, you know. I mean sometimes when you're working out and you know you're got a good BMI and you're, you know, feeling healthy and having more energy. You know that is very good for your psychological health health as well. And so, um, you know, may I suggest feel free to email me nursetalkathotmailcom, and I am more than happy to bring you my um or send you, email you my uh all in nutrition plan.

Maureen McGrath:

Um, you know, the other thing that can affect desire is a history or anxiety or depression, or current anxiety or depression can really impact a person's sexual health and sexual desire. So mental health issues, general anxiety disorder, clinical depression, stress, work, stress, challenges at home, financial stress, anxiety, low self-esteem, previous negative sexual experiences as well can impact desire. And what can significantly impact sexual desire is a history of sexual or emotional abuse, and so it's very important that's lifelong treatment for sexual abuse. And you know it doesn't just happen to women. It has happened to, you know, young men and adolescent men, adolescent boys as well, and it's very, very damaging.

Maureen McGrath:

Relationship issues conflicts with your partner. They can make their way into the bedroom. Of course, we all have periods of difficulty and challenges, but there can be trust issues as well. Maybe your partner had had an affair in the past. I had a patient this week whose partner or husband actually had had an affair you know, 10 years prior I think it was, and they'd work things out and you know she was just starting to trust him again and then he ended up having another affair. So that can really impact one's desire and everyone's sex drive tends to wax and wane and there's so many factors that influence how interested or not interested you are in sex.

Maureen McGrath:

I mentioned, you know, stress, relationship issues, hormonal changes at perimenopause, menopause. Oftentimes women's hormones tank, her desire tanks as well. Menopause is having a bit of a moment. If you're having a lack of interest in sex and you're having hot flashes and night sweats, do speak to your doctor to see if you are a candidate for hormone therapy estrogen, progesterone if you have a uterus and potentially even testosterone. You know it's important that, if it's causing you distress, to make an appointment to see somebody about this. And you know about 40% of women have problems with sexual function and the most common sexual issue is a lack of interest in sex.

Maureen McGrath:

I had a patient who had low sexual desire. She came to see me for that. We talked about it. I educated her about the female sexual response cycle and also about responsive desire. So it's not necessarily that desire comes first, especially in the long-term relationship, but it's more if everything's going well in the relationship and your partner makes sexual advances toward you and you accept them. We call call that responsive desire, you know, and it feels good and all is good and you wish you had done it last night. Um, you know, we call that responsive desire. So she came to see me and she had been in a marriage like 2020, maybe 20 years or a little bit more and she said I just have no desire. You know, we've been in this marriage, everything's okay between us, it's just that I just, you know. And so we talked about that a bit. And then she came back to me maybe three or four months later and she said Dom and I patients want to clarify things with me. She came back and she said remember, I came to see you about low sexual. I thought I had low sexual desire. She said I don't. I went on a girl's trip and I met this hot guy and I just had the best sex of my life and it kind of increased her arousal and you know, she was back to having. She felt like she still had it back to having sex with her husband. I'm not promoting infidelity, I'm not promoting, you know, a girl's weekend where everybody cheats. But I'm just saying this was her circumstance and she learned that it wasn't low sexual desire for her. It could have been boredom in the bedroom or that was the reason for her low sexual desire in her relationship, in her marriage.

Maureen McGrath:

So many times people ask me how often should you be having sex? But you know there are important aspects sex and intimacy, important aspects of a relationship. But there's no rule about how often. You know typically couples, given all the age groups and all the situations, about one to two times a week. You know, if you find your partner's always interested in sex and you're not, we call that desire discrepancy and it may mean you have low libido and it's probably a good idea to go and get treatment. The treatment for low libido in women is typically hormone therapy, review of medication list and make some adjustments like change the medication or reduce the dose, working with a sex therapist or a counselor. There are some medications that can boost your libido. Sometimes for some women they're recommended to have a glass of wine. That'll help them relax and reduce any inhibitions that they may have, but for some people it's actually better to reduce the amount of alcohol that you're drinking and, of course, eliminate any use of illicit drugs, because they can affect your sex drive as well, and alcohol can is a depressant, actually and so that can actually depress your sex drive as well.

Maureen McGrath:

You know, it's not easy to talk about sex for a lot of people. For me it's pretty easy because I've been doing it for such a long time but, you know, especially to your doctor, and it might be embarrassing and these are intimate details of your private life and so it's not something to be embarrassed about. But it is important that you find a trusted healthcare professional, and that is very important that you find a trusted healthcare professional for this, because you don't want somebody who has not been trained and trained in this area to treat you because not, you know, not everybody has been trained and not all doctors even have been trained in this particular area, but there are many doctors that you can go to and talk to them about this. So, anyway, it's important, it's part of life, it's related to health and happiness and it's something that you deserve. You actually deserve to have a great sex life and it's a common issue and there are many different treatment options for you, and so I do hope that if you need the help, you do go and get it. And if weight and body image is an issue, even if you're on one of the new medications for obesity, you do need to have a healthy nutrition plan as well. Feel free, I will email you mine, the all-in nutrition plan. Email me, nursetalk at hotmailcom.

Maureen McGrath:

Thanks so much, and on this podcast, I plan to continue talking about all things health, including sexual health. I'm Maureen McGrath. You're listening to the Sunday Night Health Podcast. Thanks so much for tuning in. I'm Maureen McGrath and you have been listening to the Sunday Night Health Show Podcast. If you want to hear this podcast or any other segment again, feel free to go to iTunes, spotify or Google Play or wherever you listen to your favorite podcasts. You can always email me, nursetalk at hotmailcom, or text the show 604-765-9287. That's 604-765-9287. Or head on over to my website for more information. Maureenmcgrathcom, it's been my pleasure to spend this time with you.

Maureen McGrath:

This podcast is brought to you by life 360 innovations, the creators of the contino urethral insert, a non-surgical health canada licensed medical device for men with stress urinary incontinence. Contino is easy to use and blocks the flow of urine without the need for adult diapers or pads. More than just a medical device, the Contino Care Program connects you with experienced medical professionals and creates a personalized treatment plan that provides ongoing support so you can get back to life. Go to MyContinocom to see if Contino is right for you and book your free continence assessment. Get bladder leakage control with Contino and get back to living. Remember, go to MyContinocom. That's M-Y-C-O-N-T-I-N-Ocom, mycontinocom.