ep 5 of the joyful reset // a trip down memory lane: rediscovering the woman you were before motherhood took center stage

rediscovering the vibrant, pre-mom me felt like a distant dream until I realized that the woman I used to be was not lost – just patiently waiting in the background. this episode is a heartfelt exploration of how becoming a mother adds to our identity, rather than replacing it.

join us as we navigate the delicate balance between the demands of parenting and the pursuit of personal interests. discover how dedicating time to your own passions can make you a more present and patient parent, and why it's okay to carve out a chapter of a book during naptime or revisit a hobby from your pre-mom days.

follow along on ig HERE🤎

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:07

Welcome back to the Joyful Reset. In the past few episodes, we've explored the importance of prioritizing joy, identifying your joy stealers and embracing your full range of emotions. Today we are taking a trip down memory lane to reconnect with a very important person your pre-mom self, to rediscover who you were before motherhood. Who were you before motherhood? Who were you before motherhood claimed center stage? Who were you before motherhood claimed center stage? What were your passions? What activities did you light up for? Maybe you were a creative soul who loved painting, an adventurer who cherished weekend hikes, or a bookworm who devoured novels every week. Perhaps you had dreams and aspirations for your career or personal development. For many of us, motherhood can be so all-encompassing that we lose touch with those pre-mom selves. Those parts of you still matter, though. They are what make you you. The things that brought you joy and fulfillment before motherhood entered the picture are the core of who you are. These aspects of your identity didn't just disappear when you became a mom. They simply got put on hold. So why does your pre-mom self matter? Because motherhood doesn't erase it. It adds a new and beautiful chapter to your story. But those core interests and passions are still an important part of who you are. So, while your children are undeniably a source of joy, it's important to remember that you are a whole person, just a mom. The woman you were before motherhood still exists within you, and those passions, dreams and interests are an important part of who you are. Nurturing those pre-mom elements can bring you fulfillment, self-discovery all of those back into your life, and it reminds you that you have interests and passions outside of motherhood, and that's perfectly okay. Reconnecting with your pre-mom self isn't about abandoning your motherhood. It's about rediscovering who you are at your core. It's about finding those pieces that bring you a sense of fulfillment and personal identity, beyond your title of being a mom.

Speaker 1: 2:50

What are the benefits of reconnecting? Here's why it's important. In my opinion, studies show that engaging in activities you enjoyed before motherhood can significantly increase overall happiness and well-being. So increased happiness, number one. Number two a stronger identity, because motherhood is a huge part of who you are, but it's not your entire identity. Reconnecting with your pre-mom self creates a more well-rounded sense of self. So, number two stronger identity. When you show your children that you have interests outside of motherhood, you teach them the importance of pursuing their own passions. So for me, number three a role model for your children and when you make time for those passions, it doesn't take away from your love for your children or take away from anything that you're trying to give to your children. It's actually allowing you to show up as a more present and patient mom. So number four reduces mom guilt. So again, those four reasons of why it's important and the benefits of reconnection is that increased happiness, a stronger identity, being that role model for your children and reducing mom guilt Sounds good to me, right?

Speaker 1: 4:09

So how do you even reconnect with that pre-mom self? I love when things are broken down into small steps, because if it's too much of a change or too drastic from our daily go-tos, I'm not going to do it. So in my mind, small steps make a big impact. Because you might be thinking I don't have time for this or, let's be honest, motherhood is a time-consuming job. So even small steps can make that big difference.

Speaker 1: 4:37

Start with a mini me approach. Did you love reading fantasy novels before kids? Then schedule some quiet time with a good book while your little one naps. I actually just got back into reading and yesterday went to our local library, made sure my membership was still active and checked out two books solely for me. And then, when they took their nap, when we got home, guilt free, I started reading and before I knew it, I was 50 pages in and I'm like, wow, this is the old Kayla that loved reading and would just devour books. And I haven't been utilizing a very local free tool that I have. And it's literally two streets up the road from me and there's a playground in the back of it that's all fenced in and not many people go to that playground. I feel like they don't. It's kind of hidden behind a ambulance center out front. It's literally the match made in heaven, because there's the library for me and then there's the playground for the littles. And that's exactly what we did yesterday Went in, got my books and then I spent the playground for the littles. And that's exactly what we did yesterday went in, got my books and then I spent an hour on the playground with them.

Speaker 1: 5:47

What about, let's say, you enjoyed going for jogs before becoming a mom? See if you can squeeze in a short walk during your lunch break or after the kids are asleep, or even with the kids. I actually just saw recently on Instagram a mom posted a reel that they go. They follow their trash truck around, and I think that there's even a show on Netflix or some other streaming service about a trash truck, and her son loves the trash truck series. So they started following around the trash truck when it's trash day and they made like a thing out of that. They'll go for a walk, they'll follow it. They think it's really cool to watch the workers. That might not be your jam, but hey, it was for her, it got her outside and it helped her too. She got outside to do what she wanted, and then the kids thought that they were outside just for them.

Speaker 1: 6:38

Make a list of the things that you enjoy doing before kids, and then you can pick an activity from that and brainstorm ways to reintroduce it into your life. Maybe you can set aside a small block of time each week and then find a child care swap with a friend, or even involve your kids in a modified version of the activity. A huge one for me is embracing micro moments. Look for those micro moments throughout your day to reconnect with your pre-mom self. Listen to your favorite music while cooking dinner, read a few pages of a book before bed. Don't try to do it all at once, though. We have to start small and then find what works for you and your family and then celebrate even those smallest steps towards rediscovering your pre-mom self because you're doing it. You can adjust as needed, and I always say this, but seriously, progress over perfection.

Speaker 1: 7:30

So do you miss going to the gym? Find a workout buddy, sign up for a short online fitness program or even a walk in the park. The park that I mentioned previously behind our library is fenced in and you can close the fence. It's a little toddler park, so it's perfect to find a little fenced in park around you if possible, and that's how you can get your walk in. Let the kiddos play you know that they're fenced in and walk the perimeter.

Speaker 1: 7:57

What if you were passionate about music? Dust off your old instrument, learn a new song on YouTube or go to a local concert. I actually played piano for 13 years and I miss playing it so much, so that is something I'm personally going to work on. What if you loved reading? Join a book club, listen to audiobooks while doing chores or dedicate 30 minutes before bed for reading? You know that time you spend doom scrolling. Sw minutes before bed for reading. You know that time you spend doom scrolling, swap it out for reading.

Speaker 1: 8:26

Reconnecting with your pre-mom self is a journey, not a destination. It's about finding those small pockets of joy and, in turn, that's going to nourish your soul and remind you who you are. Motherhood is a transformative journey, and while your pre-mom self might not be exactly the same, those core interests and passions can be rekindled. It's okay to discover new interests and passions too, though. Reconnecting with your pre-mom self is not about going back in time. It's about bringing those passions and interests into your present life as a mom, nurturing yourself as a whole person and creating a happier and more fulfilled you, and in turn, that creates a more joyful and enriching experience for your children too.

Speaker 1: 9:16

This week, I challenge you to take a trip down memory lane. Think back to your pre-mom self. What passions did you have? What activities brought you joy? Choose one small step you can take to reintegrate that passion into your life. Dust off an old hobby schedule, some me time in your calendar, or simply allow yourself to dream about activities that brought you joy before motherhood. Simply allow yourself to dream about activities that brought you joy before motherhood. Remember mama. You deserve to rediscover the joy that comes from nurturing yourself.