Alex (00:00.558)
Hello, welcome to the show. I'm so happy to have you here with me. And if this specific episode called you, if you felt inspired or you felt interested, curious, that's because you feel that you are being inconsistent right now. Being inconsistent.
that maybe you lack follow through. You feel like why am I always getting in my own way? Why am I not moving forward towards what I desire?
And if this is you, like I am challenging you. Like how much is that really true? And is that the most empowering narrative you can tell yourself? Because if you, you know, the whole notion of I am being inconsistent, how does that feel? Because to me that feels a little judgy.
You know, that feels like the inner critic, like I'm not doing it right, I'm not good enough, I'm not... You know, I need to be better, I need to push myself harder. Push myself harder. Because what I'm doing isn't enough.
How's that for power?
Alex (01:29.39)
So what is a better way to look at this? And I hope by the end of this episode you will have a better story to tell yourself. Because the reason behind this specific episode, you know, topic is because we are nine episodes into this podcast and the first eight episodes have been dropped weekly.
and we have not dropped an episode last week so shocker I am being inconsistent
So I wanted to use this specific example to talk you through my decision making and actually how I look at consistency. Because what is consistency? Being consistent to me is not a goal in itself, it's a means. It's choices.
Depending on what you desire to do consistent that will lead you to a goal. That will lead you to your desire. Let me tell you when I had my first business, Route 508, a jeweler business, you can still find it online. Route 508. I showed up every day online. Every day I written a post, a social media, Instagram post. Every day, super consistent. Did it lead me?
to where I want it, no. Because consistency is not the goal. It's like, what do you say, how do you say it, when do you say it? So it's not a checkbox, right? It's not like, right, I'm doing this thing every day, so now, like magic, I will see results.
Alex (03:29.742)
I did that for a year. I love my old self, but I also want to say, idiot.
with the most love you know possible like I I love making fun of myself like I love to keep things light and just a little humorous sometimes we get to take ourselves so so serious like life we take it so serious like let's have a little more banter shall we
But this quote that I saw a couple years back, and that's, many are going nowhere fast.
I'm gonna repeat that again, like many are going nowhere fast. Like we live in a society where we are in such a hurry. We are speed dialing our way to wherever we desire to go. It needs to happen now and fast. And if it doesn't happen tomorrow, we get impatient. So we need control. We need control.
And the more we want control over ourselves and if we're not doing what we are set out to do, we're disappointed. And we're like, why am I not following through? Like, why am I not being consistent? And it turns out in this downward cycle of constantly feeling like you're failing yourself, constantly disappointing yourself, constantly reaffirming deep down that you're just
Alex (05:06.126)
don't have what it takes, that you're not good enough.
Alex (05:13.934)
Is that really the truth?
Alex (05:19.118)
So to circle it back to my decision to not launch an episode last week. The decision was twofold. Like one, I noticed, you know, know, particularly, Cinthya is my podcast manager. Bless her, she's amazing.
She's been running the production of all past podcast episodes, but as the show is new, there was just a lot of work to do. And, you know, it's great to get the podcast out there, but I felt that there wasn't, that we hadn't have had more time for marketing, you know, to actually start consciously with intention to get audience in.
And at the same time, so it was a strategic move, so we can have an extra week, so potentially, you know, two weeks or a week where we can just focus more on the foundational parts of growing the podcast.
And that also came from me finding my own flow and finding my own rhythm in recording weekly or at least feeling into what excites me. And I just noticed as the couple of episodes we recorded over the time span over a couple of months that suddenly now it needed to happen. That's already like a squinch. That's already like a pressure. That's already like a...
attraction. When you feel that something needs to happen it kills your vibe. It kills your mojo. It kills the energy. It literally is contracting. Like if you're watching me on a video. We have video out on Spotify and YouTube. But you see me making myself smaller. Like that's what you need. You know when you're very thirsty and you need to drink because you're like my mouth is so dry. You need it.
Alex (07:22.158)
but in that need you will not taste any of what you drink.
Alex (07:31.694)
drink water there's no taste in that but if it's a lemonade like whatever you you like to drink
You're not savoring the taste.
savoring. In order to savor the taste you need to be present with it. And presence
takes space.
Alex (08:00.11)
So I felt the pressure of time, I felt the pressure of deadline, I felt the magic.
being dialed down. And I didn't want that for the show. So I made an intentional decision that I want to record this, all the whole podcast, every episode, not from a place of I need to do it, but from a place of I want to do it. And there's a very instinct energy behind that. And that's either I'm going to push myself or it's pulling me.
Alex (08:42.318)
So in order to create rhythm, and like I said before,
Consistency is not the goal. The goal to me for this podcast or this specific example is value. So in order for me to get in my own rhythm and my own flow, I created space. And I chose value over ticking a pox and being consistent. And let me...
help shift your mindset as well on the whole topic of consistency.
Alex (09:22.478)
What is consistent? Because to me nature is my biggest teacher. Nature is our biggest teacher because the universal laws, it works for the whole world. If you look at our seasons, summer, fall, winter, spring.
Alex (09:48.43)
How consistent are they?
Like the moment that we get into summer and the moment we get into fall and say, that's man -made. Like someone decided like the 21st of June, that's when summer starts. But does summer every year, does it start on the same day?
Does
Every year on the 21st of February does it snow.
Alex (10:21.166)
So you're getting my point, right? So what is consistency really? Because summer every year is different.
Alex (10:30.542)
Maybe sometimes it's more rainy, sometimes maybe more sunny, more hot, more cold like we have been having the worst summer. No, spring. Spring. But if you look at nature, there is no consistency. There is only, you know, when you plant a seed, it will grow or die. So there is only growth. There is only progress. But the how.
You know, we get to fill that in by ourselves.
So I have this exercise for you, when you feel like, okay, but Alex...
It's all fun and games, but I'm not hitting my goals. So I'm not seeing that progress. Hence, I am the issue. I'm not being consistent because I truly want to get there. So tell me how. So I have this list. Sit yourself down, honestly. Write these questions, and Cynthia will get them in the show notes so you can look there.
Take a moment and take as long as you need. You can do that in a quick 10 minutes. You can take half an hour, an hour. But let it move through you and just be present with this for a moment. And write down question number one. What is it you desire?
Alex (12:02.894)
And when you wrote it down, you know, and it can be more than one thing. It can be one thing. You can make it more specific. You can make a whole story. You can have one sentence. It's all good. No right or wrong here. And then the second, like, what's the consistency struggle? So what are you actually struggling with? What is not happening?
Alex (12:26.606)
Then explain to yourself, why does it matter? So the consistency is the road. So why does it matter that you're not being consistent? So what's at stake? What's the issue here?
Alex (12:46.734)
then four could less be more.
Alex (12:53.166)
And we're going to explain that in a bit. So could less be more, you know, have a think about that. And in five, what are other ways that could get you to you? Sorry. What are other ways that could get to your desire that feel fun and exciting? So is what you are currently doing, is that the only way? So I'm going to add in a personal example here.
You know and I'm gonna take it off the business when I'm gonna use but this could also be social media You know, it can be a lot of things like being more visible being more seen but for me what has been very happening in a moment is getting myself back into a Fitness routine like a gym routine like I have the desire to get fit and if you've been following me for a while, I have been on a fit journey for the last
two years maybe already. And like for a good year, very consistent. You know for the here and there, missing a week maybe but really getting a lot of fun out of the gym. Going to HIIT lessons maybe two, three, four times a week.
Alex (14:14.478)
For everything that I've been moving through ever since the end of January, I've just stopped everything. I just didn't have the power, I didn't have the patience, I didn't have the inspiration. I just didn't feel like literally there was no strength in my body. Like first, the start of February when my grandfather had a brain seizure, then a lot of other personal stuff that happened. I'm sharing it all in a podcast.
on the previous episodes but I just wasn't feeling it. And at one point I was like you know I'm accepting this season of my life. Like let it be okay. And that was also sort of a...
A good way to... Can I love myself regardless? Can I accept myself for who I am in this moment and that I am moving through some hardship, moving through some heartbreak, felt sad? Specifically also the situation with my granddad and that's still very much in this now moment happening.
But then you get what you tolerate. So everyone has a different level of toleration and apparently my level of tolerance is adding in 5 kilos. And then I was like right, something needs to happen. And I really, you know, coming from a place of passion and inspiration is that I envisioned myself to be fit like I'm turning 40 next year. Like wowzers, that's a big thing for me, like 40, hallelujah.
And I envision myself to be the strongest and fittest that I've ever been. And that feels super, super exciting. And even though that I hold that vision, I couldn't get myself to go to the gym. Like I couldn't get myself back in my walking routine. Like I used to do this amazing sunrise walks. I have like a sort of a nature.
Alex (16:21.358)
You know, scenery here. And I used to do like almost daily an hour and a half walks. And so I stopped doing that. I stopped going to the gym. And the first couple of months of the year, I didn't eat well. Like what I ate was crappy food, like comfort food, like emotional food, like all good. You know, I needed that at that time. But now we're back stronger than ever and really, really, really excited to get at it. But.
I couldn't get myself to go to the gym. So, you know, one could argue I wasn't being consistent. Like I wasn't following through. Like, how can you say you want it, but you're not doing it? So, you know, what is wrong with me? Why am I self sabotaging myself? That's a narrative that I could have hold. Instead, what I did, you know, this is the invitation, is that I started to figure out why.
And in my case, you know, fast forward what happened is that I found myself a new gym that excites the hell out of me. And I needed to make a little concession because where my old gym was across the door, you know, and that before worked for me because I was like, I don't have any excuse not to go. It literally is a minute walking.
But I've outgrown that gym. I have a different vision and a different need at this moment as we change. Different season. That was great for my first baby steps into fitness. I'm now ready to go next level. I'm ready to rumble. So my needs have shifted. So sometimes we need to be aware of our needs.
that shift. So sometimes we want to
Alex (18:19.95)
push ourselves in this old mold that no longer fits. And you know, what I shared before about being pulled or being pushed, like I was trying to push myself in a direction that was no longer aligned for me. So knowing myself, you know, knowing what I find.
important for me it's very energetic so I didn't want a gym where I have a lot of guys staring at the mirror looking how fast they're growing like a lot of I don't know I just had this this vision just more high -end more premium you know I'm willing to pay a little bit more with
cool features. So the gym I'm in now, it is 35 minutes to get there, but for now I'm super excited to go there. So I feel like I'm being pulled. I walk in and I'm like,
I'm happy there. It looks cool. It's super big, but not enormous. Like it feels cozy. It's black. So to me it has really that luxury feel. It has boxing classes. So I started doing boxing, which gets me super excited. It's super intense, but so good, you know, to really feel that strength winning yourself and to, you know, get
anger out sometimes. You know that's very therapeutic. And also they have Pilates lessons. Everyone is like super nice, super kind. Sitting down with you, helping you. There's a sauna, there's like a cold plunge, there's a pool. Like there is lots of stuff. My point being, can you increase your standards? Can you go all in for who you are, for what you want, for what you need and allow yourself
Alex (20:28.046)
to experiment with it, to allow yourself to play with it. Because this little shift changed the world for me. So I'm no longer dreading to go to the gym. I've been yesterday evening an hour boxing full on. This morning, nine, I was back in the gym and I was like, I can't wait to go back. So the only thing that shifted, the only thing that changed is my decision making. Right, this isn't working.
So maybe it's not about me, but maybe it's about the external that I need something else.
Push versus pull. So what pulls you?
Alex (21:16.046)
So when you show up inconsistent, like two things could be happening. You know, I'm just narrowing it down for you. Like one, the goal isn't big enough. Therefore, it's not motivating. Could also be that the goal isn't clear. And it's so important, you know, also to like, why is this goal important to you? Because...
Is it something that you feel that you need to be doing? For example, external validation because it looks good. Or is it a passion project? Is it something that comes from the inside because it excites the hell out of you? Make the goal big.
Alex (22:00.366)
Almost make it impossible. Like, you're like, wow, I can't imagine doing that, but if I could do that, I would be over the moon. It's like, thrilling. It just like, you know, where you're in awe with yourself, like envision it, see it. And like I said, like, why does that goal matter to you? And get your emotion behind it, because emotion is energy in motion. So get your emotion. So,
How will you feel when you reach that goal? So the feelings around it, that's why it's not head, it's heart. It's putting your heart, your passion, your energy, everything. Why does it matter? How will you feel when you reach the goal? So for me, going to the gym, being fit and strong, it will make me feel empowered. It will make me have more energy. Because I go to the gym, I will have more power.
and power to follow through power to handle adversity.
more space in my head, you know, it has a lot of positive and I just want to look at myself in the mirror and be proud of what I see. Can we rise our standards? Can we not settle for less? Can we make our goals big because it freaking excites us?
Then two, say we had one, so it could be not that it's actually motivating you. So maybe you actually need to change your goal or refine your goal, make it more specific so that it does excite you. And then two, it could be that you are overreaching. And when you are overreaching, what could happen is that you get yourself in a downward spiral, meaning you want to go from zero to 100. So to
Alex (23:53.998)
Stay in the gym metaphor, you know, to tie that to my personal story now. But this could also be social media is going from zero to 100. So you're being consistent. But why? Because you are asking from yourself to show up five times a week. You know, and maybe, you know, maybe use Instagram as a better example. You want to do a live.
You want to do carousels, you want to do reels, and then you want to do complicated reels. So you set the bar too high.
Alex (24:33.262)
And you're like Alex, but didn't you just say that you have to raise, that it's good to raise your standards? It's like yes, from a goal perspective, where desire to go, not a complexity in how you are doing that. Can you make it easy? Can you make it fun? Can you allow magic and simplicity? So when we tend to overcomplicate things because we are perfectionists,
That also causes inconsistency because we are stalling. Because it feels too complex, because it feels too difficult, because it's too much.
So when you are overreaching, so that could be the pressure of how it's supposed to look or the quantity. But practice quality over quantity. So the gym exercise, if I now put a goal on my head, like I want to go to the gym five times a week.
But then I'm not hitting five times, but I'm going two times and I feel annoyed with myself because why aren't I doing five times? Because that's what I agreed with myself. But two is already like a huge win. Because when you go from zero to two, isn't that already growth?
Alex (25:58.158)
So that takes us back to where we started this episode. Progress. Track your progress and track where you are winning. Where are you winning? Because when you're so focused on where you're losing, when you're so focused on where you are being consistent, so in my case, if I would be upset with myself because I'm not hitting the five and I'm overlooking the two and I'm not making it easy for myself to...
grow myself into the five. Like the five could be like a month or two and go. Let's start with two. Let's get that in the books for a couple of weeks and then ramp it up to three to four. Like get yourself winning.
So when you're putting so much pressure on yourself for something that it's not doable or maybe you don't have time for it right now because it's just not being realistic. Like I'm all about unrealistic goals.
But your energy is everything. So in this moment...
If your energy is like, I'm failing myself, if your energy is, I'm being inconsistent, that's the block. So how can you make yourself winning right now?
Alex (27:25.422)
towards that impossible goal. What is realistic right now so that you can feel yourself winning? Because the most important thing is to build momentum and action builds momentum. Like when you are down and out, if you're down in a rut, I think is the word, you can't wait for inspiration to hit.
You can't wait for momentum to take you on its wings. It's something that you get to create. You are the creator of your own life. You are the center of your universe. It all starts with you.
So focus on what you are doing right. Focus on what is working. So don't be afraid to experiment. Don't be afraid to fail.
So to close down this episode I have another story for you about... Not being...
fearful to experiment because like I said this gym
Alex (28:32.366)
You could argue it's not ideal. That's a story that I could have. Like who? It's so far. You know, it's too far for me. But I'm letting my energy drive me. So distance, that's just a mindset. You know, same as money. What is close for some is far for others. You know, what is a lot for some money wise is nothing for others.
So I allow myself, so I didn't sign up for a year, I was like, you know, I'm gonna try for a month, making it easy for myself, not overreaching. I'm gonna try for a month and I'm gonna do this on a month by month base and if I see it's working, you know, then I can sign up for a year. A year, you know, is cheaper, that's all right. Allowing myself to experiment, but what am I allowing myself to experiment? It's also on top of that paid parking. And I'm like, well, you know.
let's just see how that goes. So the first two times I went with public transport and Jordy told me, you know who's my partner, he told me like you know there's a parking garage next door. You can, five euros, you can park there for two hours. And yesterday I went I used a different parking lot because it had an hour and a half free but it was 13 minute walk so then it's
25 minutes by car, it's a 30 minute walk up and down. And an hour and a half free. But then, 250 per half hour. So I was boxing and I went to the sauna and did a couple other stuff in the gym. So I had to pay 7 euro 50 and I was like, hmm, that's not ideal. Like imagine every time you go to the gym and...
I intend to go three to five times a week and then every time needing to pay 7 euro 50. That's a lot on top of the subscription. So I was like, okay, this doesn't work. Then I told this to Jordy and he got a little, you know, annoyed not being the right world, but you know, being like, I told you so, like, why didn't you listen to me? And I was like, look, I am looking.
Alex (30:47.022)
at the options like I'm gonna try out everything. So this I tried, you know, you could could I failed. But I did it right. I learned, I tried this, didn't work. So now I found another parking lot very close by and it's actually two and a half hours for free. So it's an hour extra. And then every half an hour, I think it's the same rate of two years euros something. I was like, okay.
That gives me a little more time because yesterday I spent three hours at the gym. That's not normal. Like normally it would be like I would say an hour and a half or two. So I was like this fits perfectly. It's still 13 minutes, but then that could be my warming up, thinking in solutions here. So it's a win -win. But then this morning I had, I needed to be there at 9 a in the morning and I had traffic.
So instead of by car, it's like 20, 25 minutes and now it took me 35 minutes. So there was another learning here and I was like, okay, this is not ideal either. So I'm gonna scrap that as well that in the morning by car, like even though that I found a parking lot. So it's almost like being this science whiz kids where you explore all options and then I get to decide what works for me. You.
may need and may want totally different things than me. Not may, I know for sure. So no one in the world can tell you how and what and when. Your goal, your life, your vision, like you're the artist. You are making art. That's your life. Like what are you creating? So
I now know I may go back to public transport and for someone else it could be horrifying like my god I'm not going to use public transport but for me if that's faster, if that's cheaper, I put my headphones on so I'm making sort of a list of when you know pluses and minuses. That's how I go through life. That's also how I use my business. So I recorded an episode before about fear of failing.
Alex (33:11.182)
where we usually fear failing, but there is no failing. There is winning or learning. So when you are being inconsistent, instead of pushing yourself through like forcing yourself,
Alex (33:29.902)
Let it be a sign. Let it be a sign from your body, a sign from your intuition, whatever you want to call that sign in from. But let it be a sign that whatever you're trying to do, it's not working. So you need to...
refine, refine the goal or refine the path that will lead you there. So either stop overreaching and just create something that feels exciting, that feels expansive.
So I'm going to end the episode with how I started. And that was when you're telling yourself, I am inconsistent, is that really the most empowering narrative you got? Or can you rewrite this? And how would you rewrite this? Because yes, there is a more powerful story you can tell yourself.
And if you like to share, I would love to hear, you know, and I also know that every inconsistency trap, that everything, that it's very deeply personal, what is blocking you. So if you are struggling to fix it or to get clarity on what is happening, feel free to send me a voice note. Like now, I believe through Spotify, we'll get it in the show notes. You can leave me like a voice note.
I'm not sure how it works, maybe drop in your Instagram handle as well so I can personally get back to you. I'm not gonna use it for any episode, but just... I would love to hear and I would love to support you and just, you know...
Alex (35:17.486)
think of me as your pocket coach. Just let me know whatever you're facing, whatever your roadblock is and I'd love to hear from you. So for now, thank you so much for being with me. I'd love to hear your key takeaways and I wish you an amazing day.
