Transforming Offense Into Growth- Episode 38

This week, Gigi discusses how offense can be a deceptive trap that leads to irreparable harm. She reveals how offense can be weaponized and doesn’t discriminate. Gigi shares valuable lessons learned the hard way and emphasizes how God can turn things around, redeeming what the enemy intended for evil and turning it for our good!     

Resources Mentioned:

 Scripture

James 1:19-20

John 10:27-30

John 12:27

Luke 23:34

 Suggested Worship Songs- “See a Victory” and “Make A Way” by Elevation Worship. 

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Transcript

Aloha Ladies. Welcome Back.

 Let me ask you something. Have you ever been offended? I mean, you were REALLY offended to the point that you severed ties with someone. Maybe you even get into a fight over it? Offense happens to ALL of us, and it doesn't discriminate. Male, female, young, or old. Christian, Non-Christian- doesn’t matter. Offense will come, and we must learn how best to respond to it.

I say all of this because, right now, my eleven-year-old granddaughter and I are both dealing with the ramifications of offense. Even though we are talking about people YEARS apart in age, the offenses still look and act the same! Although, those that come as we get older sometimes become more sophisticated! Offense just sneaks up and punches you in the face, and typically, the most brutal hits come from those closest to you- those in your inner circle whom are the least likely to be suspected. When the offense occurs, there is always a reaction, and the reaction is what matters the most.

Do you realize that an offense is one of the enemy's greatest traps against God's people? It is inevitable that someone will do or say something that hurts your feelings and makes you mad, and if you aren't careful, you will become trapped by the offense. What happens when people feel trapped? Yep, the fight or flight instinct wants to kick in naturally, and honestly, neither of these is the best choice of reaction.

Let me give you a personal example that occurred many years ago when I worked in a law firm. We had an inexperienced lawyer and an equally inexperienced paralegal working together. On this particular occasion, the lawyer tells the paralegal something that was incorrect. Now, the paralegal, new and not wanting to embarrass or continue to question the attorney, comes to me and another senior paralegal to get clarification and advice. Now, this exchange occurred via email, with the last communication highlighting that sometimes attorneys get it wrong and score one for the paralegals. Now it was all done in jest with no malice or ill intent meant. Unfortunately, in this last communication, the inexperienced paralegal mistakenly copied the inexperienced attorney! You can imagine that offense swiftly came in, and things turned ugly fast! And when I say ugly- I mean within a few hours, the managing partners had the email communication in hand, and they now were highly offended to the point the inexperienced paralegal was fired on the spot, escorted out of the building by security, and I and the other senior paralegal were facing the attorneys’ wrath! Irreparable harm was done that day because of the offense and the hasty "fight reaction” that followed. Frankly, it is a lesson I will never forget because I learned that offense is something you allow or disallow. You have a choice in responding to it, which should never be made in a haze of fury. In James 1:19-20, Scripture says, "Let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God."

When offense comes, we need to slow down enough to spend some time with it and see it for what it really is—a weapon intended to steal our peace, joy, and power. Offense must be received, meaning we accept and come agreement with it, allowing it to influence and trap us!

We actually have a choice: we can either guard our peace or give it away when offense comes!

Brigham Young said it best-

"He who takes offense when offense was not intended is a fool, yet he who takes offense when offense is intended is an even greater fool for he has succumbed to the will of his adversary."

Here's the thing. When you belong to Jesus, He has already taken all the sin, all the hurt, all the pain, all the sickness, and all the offenses to the cross and crucified them all.  And when He rose from that grave, He brought victory with Him. And that victory is for all of us who believe in Him. Jesus himself tells us in John 10:27-30:

"My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one will snatch them out of my hand. My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all; no one can snatch them out of my Father's hand.  I and the Father are one."

We belong to Christ, and you can bet that the Lord knows every offense that His children suffer and will deal with it in the proper way and at the appropriate time. We don't have to fight or flee because when we turn it over to Jesus- He will redeem it.  Nothing can harm us.  We cannot be snatched from His hand and in His hand there is peace so there is no room for offense.  

That's the key— the best response is to shake it off ourselves, don’t allow it to take hold, and then give it over to God. Willing to be like Jesus, who knew all too well what it's like to be hurt and betrayed, even by those closest to Him! Let's remember Jesus predicted His own death, He predicted Judas's betrayal, and he predicted Peter's denial of Him before any of it ever took place!

Yet, in it all, Jesus never picks up offense; instead, we see in John 12:27-32 as Jesus was talking about his impending death- 

"Now my soul is troubled, and what shall I say? 'Father, save me from this hour'? No, it was for this very reason I came to this hour. Father, glorify your name!"

Then a voice came from heaven, "I have glorified it, and will glorify it again."  The crowd that was there and heard it said it had thundered; others said an angel had spoken to him.

Jesus said, "This voice was for your benefit, not mine. Now is the time for judgment on this world; now the prince of this world will be driven out.  And I, when I am lifted up from the earth, will draw all people to myself."

Further, at the height of His agony, hanging on the cross, Jesus prayed for forgiveness for His tormentors: "Father, forgive them; for they do not know what they are doing" (Luke 23:34).

Jesus knew taking offense wasn't the answer. He knew that all these hurtful things had to come to pass so that the Father's will would be done!

IT ALL WAS ULTIMATELY FOR GOOD, and believe it or not, each time you face offense and you decide to shake it off and not allow its nasty tentacles to take ahold of you, you grow stronger and more powerful in the process! You maintain your peace and that is where you find power. And you know what? If you have toxic people in your life who consistently cross boundaries and harm you, harm you with their words and actions and cause offense-  God will eventually remove them- if you let Him!

Ladies: I believe that when we know who we are and to whom we belong, what others think, say, and do begin to matter far less. When we pause, reflect, and choose to overlook and forgive the offenses, releasing it all over to Jesus this is when peace is restored and broken hearts are mended. This is when we can rest in the knowledge that God will fight our battles, and all we need to do is release it so He can redeem it on our behalf. Gods got us- don't be fooled by allowing your emotions to get the better of you!  Shake it off ladies.  Shake off the offense so that you can stay in peace and grow in love and power!