Episode 1 - Top 10 Dating Red-Flags

Transcript

Hey guys, Michael Sanchez here with On Purpose Christian Dating Podcast. We're so excited to be coming to you with our first ever podcast episode. I'm here with Maya, my wife. Yes. Hello. This is Maya. We just want to welcome you to our very elaborate podcast studio. It's here in our closet.  And it's not just Michael and me.

We also have our beautiful little daughter here. Her name's Lydia. She's 12 weeks old at the moment that we're recording this. So we're just really excited about getting started and sharing what we want to share with you.  Absolutely. And just to give you guys a summary of our story we actually met just over a year ago and, we got married, you know, really quick, you know, six months and yeah, I mean, very purpose driven dating. That's for sure. And we're excited to share a lot of those same ideas and principles that we really worked on, you know, with ourselves. And, and we were able to ultimately. You know, be ready for dating.

I think that's so important  and, you know, have God in the center and then be able to really relate to each other. And it's like, once you have that, like, you know, you're going to be extremely confident with the one that you're with, if you find that right person.  So this podcast, we hope we have some laughs.

My brings the laughter has for sure. I'm kind of more of the You know, the the guide, I would say. But together we're gonna give you guys a good mixture of both. And we have an outline, actually, we're, we're excited to go through top 10 dating red flags. Yeah.  And before we get into those red flags, we just want to provide a disclaimer.

There's plenty of disclaimers, but, the most apparent one for us is just that we're not perfect people. I'm sure, you know, that as a listener, you know, that the person on the other side of the microphone as another human being is not perfect in any way, shape or form. We've, we've all made our fair share of mistakes in life, and that's definitely the case for Michael and myself, but you know. 

There's definitely so many great things that God has to share with us to be able to share with one another. And what that basically comes down to is being able to, without judging and without condemning, being able to call certain things out. So there's in no way, shape or form are we trying to be judgmental or anything like that, but it's, it's just about being able to protect your heart as you go on this journey, which can be really difficult.

A lot of times the journey of finding your spouse. So that's essentially what we're after here. So hopefully no one gets offended if you've done this. If you've done any of these things, you know, it's okay, it's all, it's okay. We can all be redeemed and all that. But, but yeah, we definitely want to share, you know, what are the red flags that you want to stay away from when it comes to dating?

I would say, as we put this list together, we were really thinking from the perspective of, you know, when we were dating, like, what were we looking for? You know, just recently, like, you know, we went through a lot of,  you know, a lot of I would say training like you went through a lot of dating coaches. I went through a lot of dating coaches, you know, so it's like we were really, really serious about trying to find the right person.

And no, these are all things that we're like, Oh yeah, for sure. You know, like, you know, we definitely are like, yeah, we definitely would not have seen that as what we were looking for.  You know, but ultimately it comes down to learning the word of God and, you know, applying that and, and seeing what's in the word because ultimately that's, that's the, the roadmap for dating, you know, it really is like if we follow what the, what the Bible says, you know, that's gonna, and that's what me and you did.

You know, that allowed us to really connect with each other.  Okay. So we're going to do this zigzag. So Michael came up with five and I came up with five. So we're going to zigzag this. Okay. So babe, what's your first, what is the first like red flag for you that you're like, I'm running. So my first one is talking about exes.

Okay. So one of the things it says in the Bible, it's very clear is, is you, you should not have bitterness.  When you're on a date.  So, you know, if you've gone through a breakup, if you've gone through a hard time, it's likely that you have some level of bitterness, right? That's normal. You know, if you've gone, especially if you've been, you know, if you've been married for a long time and you just recently got divorced it's pretty common.

But the key is that you need to work on yourself and get to a point of not having that bitterness because that bitterness is really toxic for a relationship. I mean, so when you're on a date, right?  And your ex is talking about, you know, or the person you're with is talking about their ex and in a negative way, Oh man, how crazy, you know, my, my ex wife's so crazy.

She did this. She did that. My goodness. Like, you know, she is psycho, you know, like  you're the one that picked her.  So I mean, my, is this like, Oh yeah, if you went into that, that would not work out, you know? And that's. That's the thing. So like, if you really work on yourself and you have, you know, Christ in the center of your heart, you know, I, you know, ideally, you're just, you're going to be thinking about other people.

You're not going to be thinking about that bitterness, those things that were done to you, you know, because ultimately, you know, Christ suffered more than anybody, you know, in the history of the planet. And, you know, he didn't, you know, retaliate, you know, so it's so important that, you know, When you're on a date or when you're trying to find that special person, you're always paying attention to if they're bitter or not. 

That's such a good one. I remember when you, when we first talked about your when we first talked about  your, like your big reveal to me about being married previously. Sometimes I think when we're dating, we We test the person without even knowing it. So as you were sharing that information with me,  immediately, my radar was going up as to like, okay, how's he going to describe what his ex wife was like?

Is he going to be demeaning? Is he going to have bad things to say about her? Is he going to be this, this, that, and you just kept it really brief and you, you didn't. Put anything on her. And so for me, I was kind of like, okay, great. We can continue to move forward here because he doesn't, he's not harboring any crazy feelings about her.

He's not, and he's definitely not blame shifting towards her. So I really appreciated that. And how you handled that situation talking about it was just kind of like, all right, I feel comfortable. You know, yeah, that was definitely a decision point. Yeah. And it's, it's, it's pretty significant because like with me, I went through a really bad divorce where Maya has never been through a divorce.

So I think there's plenty of people out there that the second they realize that you've been divorced, they're going to be questioning like, Oh, like, how did that go? What did they do wrong? What happened in that relationship? You know? So it's totally normal, you know, for them to want to know what happened, but it's important to share in a positive light.

You know, when you're, when you're sharing about, you know, your divorce or anything that's happened to you, she's smiling, she smiles. It's our little three month old daughter. It's so important that you're at a place where, you know, God has worked in your heart and has gotten you to a place of being able to talk positively about the situation because ultimately, and one of the reasons why we call this pod is podcast purpose driven is because one of the.

Big things that we need to get to a point of is using our past hurt and pain to help others, right? So in the case of right now, even, you know, I've been through a divorce and I'm talking about it positively. I'm talking about how it's affected me and how I've grown from it. So everybody can get to that point, but yeah, number one, if you're to that point where you, you, you haven't forgiven.

Then, yeah, talking about exes and bitterness. That's a huge, huge red flag. All right, Mai, what's your next one? Okay, so mine is talking about body parts  and just getting really, really sexual, like from out the gate. So. The scenario is you're on a date with a guy and you've dressed your best or you look really nice.

And I think like, you know, we all have eyes, right? We all see, but at the same time, there's a difference between noticing someone's beauty or someone's attractiveness and like, just being extremely like descriptive, you know, like. Yeah, like, are you just trying to get some like what's going on, you know, exactly.

So, so a person may say they may make a comment about your bust or they may make a comment about your back or something like that. And it's just kind of like, Ooh, you know, especially if it's a first date. Oh my goodness. It's like. This is way too early to be having talks like this. It's yeah, I just think that it's inappropriate to be making too many comments about someone's body parts as soon as you meet them in positive ways or negative ways.

Like if somebody is saying really positive things about your body parts, like they're excited, that's one thing. And then if somebody is making you feel guilty or feel shameful about the kind of body that you have. Also find that to be just a huge, huge red flag. So stay away from that. Yeah. And going really deep here, you know I think it's so important that you, you focus and you strive for purity in a relationship.

Like if, if you're really trying to find a Christian partner, somebody that's believes in God, that has the visions of, of the Bible, you know, it's important that you find somebody that.  They ultimately don't want to have sex before marriage, you know, and it is very difficult to do. I mean, it is, but you know, if you start off the relationship and the dating process and you're already talking about sex, you're already talking about, you know, or sexual innuendos and you're bringing up stuff like you're, you're basically telling that other Christian that that's important to you.

And if they really are a strong believer, they should see that as a, as a negative because. It's going to be, it's going to bring up a lot of temptations. Like if they're wanting to have sex, if they're bringing it up, like it's probably important to them. And if you're a strong Christian, you should be seeing that as a negative ultimately.

All right. What's your next one? My next one is my third one is ghosting. Okay. Okay. So I really believe that.  You know, when you're trying to find a woman, you know, on a dating app or just in general,  you know, it's important to be screening out like her level of interest.  And if she's ghosting you, if she's like ignoring you, like you text her and she doesn't text you back for a week or you call her and she doesn't, you know, call you back or text you back.

You know, I think it's important to move on. I think, you know, if you really. believe in God, and that's a top priority in your life, then another Christian should find that extremely attractive. And they should be wanting to talk to you, wanting to interact with you all the time. So I mean, with us, honey, like, you know, I remember I sent you that YouTube video of my purpose, like after day one, and you were like, wow, like this guy's, you know, really focusing on Christ.

Like he has a purpose. So like, you weren't going to ghost me. You weren't going to like, not Text or call me back right away. Like you were like interested, right? So that's what you need to you need to find that in a woman or in a man you need to find that level of interest And a way to get there. I really believe is having that strong vision of believing Believing in god focusing on on the bible And trying to find that, that mutually Christian partner, basically.

Yeah, that's a great one, babe. So I was, I have one that's kind of similar to yours and I was basically asking you like, what's,  how is ghosting a red flag? If, in, if somebody is ghosting you, they're basically ending the relationship. And your response to that was basically that sometimes even when a person is ghosting you, there's still a tendency to want to chase after them.

So the idea there is just that if somebody is ghosting you, you know, You know, there's that, there's kind of that saying, that's like, if someone tells you who they are, believe them kind of in that sense, in that same sentiment, if somebody is ghosting you do not chase after them, do not run after them.

They basically have explained, they basically showed you that they are not interested and that it's time for you to invest your time somewhere else. So that's why ghosting is a red flag. Yup. That's good. All right, honey. What's the fourth one? Okay. Mine is okay. So mine is very, very similar. And I just wanted to go a little deeper on when somebody is taking forever to text you back.

So they may not necessarily be ghosting you, but let's say you send a message in the morning and they don't get back to you until like late, late, late in the evening. Or, or let's say you messaged them on Monday and they don't get back to you until like Wednesday or Thursday. I think just a general, I think it just shows a general disinterest. 

But more than that, I think it shows that that that person is not necessarily prioritizing you, that you may be one of their priorities, but you're, but you're very, very low on their list. And the reason why I find that to be really just kind of staggering is that. Sometimes people say like how you start is how you finish, but when it comes to the environment of dating, it's dating is really the, like a springboard for the season of marriage.

So dating should be a time that when you look back on it, you just are like, man, it was just amazing. Like an amazing time of excitement and amazing time of wanting to connect with one another and it really sets the bar. So if somebody is taking forever to respond to your text messages, when you're dating, when you get into the.

Marriage, it can be so difficult to be able to explain just basic things. So my whole, where I'm coming from that is that a person should not be struggling to be in contact with you when you are dating, dating should be a very, dating should be a very much simple, simple time where it's just kind of like  a delight when you look back on it and, and somebody could just as easily say, well, I'm busy.

It's okay to just be like, Hey, I'm busy. I'm going to get back to you on this date or that time, but a person should be responsive. That is definitely a, that is definitely a red flag. If somebody is taking forever to get back to you on your text messages. Yeah. And I'll go deep with that. So there's, there's a lot of dating coaches out there that will actually teach this as a method of manipulation.

Well, yes. Thank you for, okay. So dating coach, a lot of non Christian dating coaches will say, okay, if you don't text the woman back right away, it will create. A level of curiosity that will make them actually want you more. And I believe that that's manipulation. And it's really, you're not being yourself and you're not showing yourself  of, of how interested you are in that person.

Like, I really believe if you're, if you're focusing on Christ, you're putting him first, that's like your number one focus is to find a Christian partner, a good, a person that, you know, you show. Faith to you show that that's a main focus there. They should be extremely interested if you're doing that the right way to where, why would you play games?

Why would you not text, you know, where other dating coaches will say, Oh yeah. Like that's your way of, you know, building up the attraction, but. I think I really believe that that's, that's, that's, that's more of a non Christian approach that I don't really think is a good approach, to be honest. I think like with us, we, we were just really into each other right off the bat.

Like we just started texting, like calling right away, and it really, it was so natural. I really believe, you know, the person that's Perfect for you, you know, is going to want to talk to you, want to text you back. So if that's lacking, I think you just, you know, there's plenty more, plenty more fish in the sea basically.

Right. So Lydia's really into everything you're saying. Yeah, I can see that. Hey, honey.  All right. Well, let's, let's go on to the next one. So I, I have down if somebody is spiritually shallow, what does that mean? Yeah. So that's a red flag. So if somebody is not willing to talk about God, you know, basically come up with answers to like, you know, simple questions such as like, do you go to church?

Like, you know, do you have, do you attend Bible study? Like, what is your, like, what does your faith mean to you? Like, these are all questions you should be asking. You know, do you have a spiritual mentor? You know, I, I tend to like, I, you know, if you're a truly devout Christian, like it's not just about asking, are you a Christian or what, what do you believe in?

But it's going deeper. And asking them like, for example, what are your favorite Bible verses, you know, you know, if they can't answer that or if that's an awkward question for them, they probably aren't really dedicating their lives to Christ. That's not a main focus. And to me, that would be a red flag, you know, so, you know, just.

Somebody that's just a Christian that just says that they believe doesn't mean that they have that that strong dedication to Christ. That's so important. What do you think about that, honey? It's funny that you mentioned bible verses because mine is similar to yours, but it's almost it's almost like the opposite Side of the spectrum.

So mine is using spirituality as a prop. So, yeah. So let's say that somebody, it's funny that you mentioned Bible versus, because I, sometimes I feel like people like weaponize their, either their Christian upbringing or background or knowledge, because they know that it's attractive to certain people, God bless you honey.

So. Like, let's say, for example, they may have like a really, really popular Bible verse, like John 3, 16, or something like that on their dating profile. Or they may have like,  right. Okay. Or they'll have like tatted on their arm. And it's just like, okay, that's cool. Like, thank you for, thank you for that Bible verse.

But like, what has God done for you? Like in your life, like what's your testimony, you know, it's going along with what you're saying. To me, I, I just want to make sure, I think that it is a red flag. If somebody is using their spirituality as a prop, especially in today's age, where things are very Jesus plus where it's like, Oh yeah, I'm a Christian.

And I do this, I'm a Christian. And I, and I also, you know. Worship rocks or something like that. I think it's really, really important that a person isn't just like throwing a Bible verse at you to kind of like impress you or impress your mom or impress whomever, but somebody who is really like, they're, there's some dynamic to their faith, you know, they, they are excited to tell you about like, you know, where God has brought them in life or they are excited to Share with you what they are, what they're learning about God in this season of their life, or they are.

Just trying to, like, even maybe challenge you spiritually, I feel like those are things that you need to be looking out for as opposed to somebody who's kind of just using God as like, as bait.  Yeah, and I really believe that, you know, you know, the way that you, you act, the things that you do really show, like, how truly dedicated you are in the faith.

Right. And we actually talk about, we have, mine, I actually wrote a book together and you can actually find it at violin gospel. com. And there's quite a few things in there that, you know, I define as what I would say, non negotiables and they really go into like, okay, if, if any of these things are not there in a person, you know, you can really sort of question, like, is the faith really there?

Like, are they really reading the Bible? Are they really dedicating their lives to Christ? So, I mean, I'll just quick go through these, but it's basically emotional health, anger. addictions, which I'll actually will cover a little bit more in this podcast greed, self centeredness and bitterness, right? So we talked about bitterness.

So like, if, if those things are showing up, like if, if somebody is really self centered, like you go on a date and, and for example, the guy that, you know, I don't pay for the date, like it's like it's self centered, right? I mean, it's all about me, you know, or if there's other tendencies, like I only want to talk about me, I don't ask you any questions, you know, that's a sign that there's not really like a gentleness there, like a, you know, a genuine. 

Christianity. So, you know, we talk about these things in the book. So I highly recommend you check that out. You get our ebook at violin gospel. com. The next one I want to go into is addictions. So addictions is definitely one of the most important things to be screening out with dating huge red flag.

And there's All sorts of addictions, obviously alcohol, drugs, but it can be even further than that. Right, honey.  It can be video games. It can be sports. It can be anything. That's basically I, I, I define addictions as anything that's taken. Top priority over Christ, you know, so if God's not number one, if there's other things that are number one, but you know Obviously there's some addictions that are you know worse than others, but you should really be looking for that in a spiritual partner Yeah, I couldn't agree more and this is a topic that is very sensitive So what we'll probably do is just center an entire podcast around that Particular topic, but yeah, addictions, like you said it, babe, you you, we were talking about this a little bit earlier downstairs and we were saying that I was like, okay, what are some addictions that you would see, like in a woman, you know, cause for, for me, seeing addictions in a guy that. 

Maybe you're not thinking it's that bad of a, of a thing, you know, but people are trying to tell you like, Hey, you need to slow your roll on this for a guy. It could be video games. It could be sports. It could be I don't know, gambling, things like that. For women, it could be, you could be addicted to shopping.

You could be addicted to spending. You could be addicted to attention. That was a really big one that you pointed out last downstairs which was. Yeah. Attention in the sense of like, maybe you are juggling like a lot of guys at one time because you need that constant validation, that sort of thing.

So, so yeah, addictions, you know, it's, it's such a huge topic that we probably will just dedicate an episode to that because we do want to be sensitive, but that's important. It's important to be able to prioritize God above. All addictions and he'll help you to be able to reveal, you know, to examine yourself and to be able to reveal, you know, what are some things that I need to fast from or need to take some step back from slow down on.

That's really good. All right. Number eight. All right. So for me, number eight is love bombing. Bombing is basically the opposite of ghosting. It happens in the early stages of dating. And it's kind of like the other side of the pendulum swing. So the opposite of a person completely like ignoring you and love bombing, interestingly enough.

tends to proceed ghosting. I don't know if you knew that, babe, but love bombing is what a person is when a person basically does things to show that they're excited about you and that they want to be with you. But it's like too much too fast. So a person may buy you an extremely, extremely expensive gift, or they may want to do some kind of extravagant.

Form of, of, you know, showing their affection to you, but it's just kind of like, I just met you 20 minutes ago, you know, or like, we've only been seeing each other for like a week, so you're, you're doing, you're just doing way too much too fast and yeah, do you have an example of love bombing? Yeah. I mean, from my, from my perspective, you know, when you talk about, and that's a term I'd even like.

Hear about until you just mentioned it love bombing, but I look at that kind of behavior is just like insecure So basically, you know, the man is you know, he doesn't get a lot of dates or doesn't have a lot of success So he's kind of like just goes all in on a woman and like doesn't have a lot of standards It's important to have standards.

It's important to like, you know, know exactly what the Bible says about dating know exactly what the Bible says about behavior Which ultimately a big thing that, you know, the Bible talks about is how to handle insecurity.  One of the best sermons, I highly recommend you guys, and you'll, if you guys listen to a lot of these podcasts, you'll, you'll get to know that I love Rick Warren.

One of the best sermons I highly recommend is  how to deal with self destruction. Look up Rick Warren self destruction. And it actually goes into all sorts of things, like how to deal with all the things that can really just make us self destruct, including insecurity. So if you have insecurity, you're going to act that way.

You're going to, you're going to love bomb. Like my, like Maya is saying, you're basically, you're going to go all in, feel like this is the perfect woman. You know, I want to give her all these things, buy her all these things, you know? So if, if, if God is number one, if he's the center of our universe, we have him, we don't need anybody.

Right. So, you know, that's the sort of behavior where you need a woman, you know, and you're going to act in an insecure way. So that's sort of my take on that. Highly recommend that sermon. Number, number nine. I put on for me was self centeredness. So self centeredness comes in all sorts of different, you know, different angles.

You know, for me, you know, when I'm on a date and a woman just talks only about herself, like she has no interest in you, like she's not asking you questions. She doesn't want to get to know you.  This happens with, you know, first dates texting. This happens with, you know bumble interactions going back and forth.

Like if a woman just doesn't ask you any questions, that's a red flag. Like, you know, why are, why is it all about them and not about. Both of you, you know, so that's to me, that's self centeredness, but self centeredness can be defined in so many ways. It's basically, you know, it can be, you know, called narcissism.

It's like everything's about me, me, me, you know, my success, you know, my vision, my passions. Where you really want to be looking for someone that you,  you know, they're interested in you. They want to get to know you. They want to know about.  You know, your, your faith, you know, your passions, you know, not just about them.

So I think that's really important in dating. Yeah. I couldn't agree more. I think that self centeredness is, man, this is just such a.  I don't know, babe, but for me, self centeredness really breaks my heart because as you mentioned, it's it's, I think you mentioned this in the previous one. I think it really does come from a place of insecurity and like not feeling like enough.

And I don't think I realized how important having like a confidence, the kind of confidence that comes from God is when it comes to dating because. Self centeredness is, it's almost like a cry for help, it's like a cry for, you know, wanting to be the center of somebody's world, and that ultimately stems from, you know, some kind of a deep pain, deep hurt that has to be resolved, it has to be checked, you know.

A need for validation. Yes.  So I got to be honest with you. Like it really does break my heart, but you are going to come across people who can't help, but, but center themselves in every conversation that you have don't necessarily want to talk to you, or they're constantly telling you, they're constantly trying to figure out what's in it for them.

As you're speaking to them, as you're talking to them and at first, you know, the reason why it's a red flag and you have to run is because at first you may think to yourself, I can, I can do this. I can take this on. I can be that for this person, but eventually you will run out of steam. You will grow exhausted.

You will not be able to be their God. You're not going to be able to be their everything. And so that's why you really just need to let it go. Let and be with someone who is, has already built their foundation, like on God. So, yeah, we're at number 10, right? Number 10. Okay. So this last one is, you know, specifically I think we had all, we had all of these in mind of like, you know, for the ones that I had picked out, it would be from a red flag from a woman's perspective.

And yours was from a guy's perspective, but it's like, we kind of were able to see it in both on each one. So I'm, I'm assuming that's what's going to happen in this one. It's kind of the vision of the book. We kind of wrote it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, both sides. Yeah. You know, we didn't want it to only be for guys.

We want it to be for both guys and girls. Yup, exactly. So this one is, this last one is overpowering. So a person may basically just try to like dominate you or try to control you. Macho man. Yeah. Somebody who's kind of like macho and is basically just trying to like suck you dry for. Everything you've got  , whether it's your time or your attention or your, you know, your, your ability to serve.

They may be like, oh, like what are you bringing me, you know, to eat today? You know, like in the middle of the day when you have to be at work or something like that. Or like, just some really like crazy commands. And the other, the reason why this word came to mind, I was trying to think of what's the opposite of overpowering, and it's a word that you use all the time, babe, and that's a gentleman, somebody, you know, if somebody is not. 

Overpowering, they're going to be a gentleman. They're basically, instead of looking at how you can serve them all of the time. They're basically looking out for how they can, you know, lighten your load, how they can be sensitive to your needs. And when you when you match. two people up who are intent upon serving one another.

It's like everyone's needs are going to be met, you know? So, yeah.  Yeah, I'll give another, I'll give another plug to Rick Warren. Rick Warren, gentleness. Look up that sermon that really goes into just where the Bible explains gentleness. And it's, it's one of the fruit of the spirit,  you know, and it's, it's so important, you know, to understand generalist because yeah, there's a lot of dating coaches and dating advice out there that kind of explains that you need to be the alpha male and you have to be the strong man, you know, and there are definitely truths to like leadership.

You know, that I would say is kind of what they teach kind of as an alpha male, but there's sort of a fine line of going too far with that. I think that's what you're saying with overpowering. You need to combine that with a lot of gentleness, you know, and the only way to truly get gentleness is through God's spirit, through God's strength.

You know, it's one of the the fruit of the spirit, you know, he gives us a lot of things that we just don't have without his strength.  So, you know, really the way, like, if you're like, Oh, I'm just not that guy. I'm telling you with God in your heart, he naturally will make you a more gentle person. He'll make you a gentleman, you know, so I highly recommend that sermon.

I think you're going to really get a lot out of that.  Awesome. Well, I really hope you, you know, enjoyed this first podcast. I'm sure you heard, you know, Lydia in the background. She's she's actually, I thought she was pretty good. You know, someday when she gets older, she'll be listening to this and say, Oh wow, I was really loud. 

We really enjoy and glad you guys decided to listen to this and, you know, we're just so excited and passionate about, you know, this topic and just giving you guys more and more content. You know, the book choosing to date God's way, you know, we've really configured that in such a way to really give you guys a lot of the truths that comes to dating and setting yourself spiritually.

I really believe that if you work on yourself and get yourself to a certain point and the other person is doing the same. You ultimately meet and there's not a lot that needs to happen other than just the dating process that can happen, you know, extremely quickly. Like with us, it only took six months.

We were married, boom, had our first baby, extremely happy. Like, you know, all that can happen quickly if you set yourself up for success. So the book is just, you know, it's set up to really teach you guys those principles from both of our perspectives. You know, it goes into a lot of detail. A lot of it's Rick Warren driven inspired.

Yeah. But yeah, also the subtitle is how to increase your odds of dating and saying married by 400, 400 times. And the reason why I said 400 times is because the chances of you, you getting married and divorced just in general in the United States is one out of two and a half.  But if you get into a relationship and you go to church together, you read the Bible together and you, what's the third one? 

And you pray, you pray together. The chances of you. Staying married is one out of 1, 100 compared to one out of two and a half. So that's why I wrote you know, increase your odds by 400 times, because those are the things that will dramatically not just get you to the point of being married, but get you to the point of staying married. 

And that's, that's really, you know, even more important because, you know, you know, divorce is ugly. It's not something you want to go through. So you want to not just find the right person, but stay with that person for life.  Yeah. Speaking of prayer, we just want you to know that we are thinking of you. We are praying for you as the listener of this podcast.

We definitely want you to have a lot of success and a lot of strength, as Michael said, and your dating journey and your marriage. And God bless you. Bless you. Bless  God bless you. Bless you again. Bless you, honey. And we are just, yeah, we're thinking about you. We're praying about you. We're praying for you,

No. Speaking of it, let's just, let's just pray. Let's do it.  Dear Lord, just thank you for this day. Lord, just thank you for this first podcast that we put together and Lord, we're just so excited to help others out there that maybe are struggling trying to find that perfect someone. Well, you know, technically none of us are perfect Lord, and you know that, but with you, with your strength, Lord, we have the ability to be just a totally different person and totally transformed to the point of having the ability to, you know, connect with another person that's on that same page.

And Lord, we just, we just strive.  others see that vision to help people focus on themselves. For anybody listening just for them to dedicate themselves to you cause that's ultimately number one you know, the, the road to happiness, Lord, and the, and the road to purpose. So we just pray for all our listeners out there just for them to continue on the path of finding the right one and And just getting the things that are not good out of their lives, Lord, just the things that are from the world, money, sex, and power, Lord, help us to just inspire people out there to not listen to what the world says, but to listen to what you say. 

Can you hear me pray? Amen.  All right. We'll see you on the next episode. See you on the next one. All right.