Greetings and welcome, dear citizens of Elysium. You are listening to Elysium Public Radio. I am your host, asteria Blackwell, and this is Stories from the Lost Library. Now, before we begin, we always start with a warning, and, yes, I realize the irony, for in the golden days we would always start with an honored prayer to the muses for a memorable tale. But in these modern times, warnings have replaced prayers and our lawyers are insistent. So take this warning as our opening prayer.
Asteria Blackwell:This library, these stories, this missive, this community is a safe and sacred space. Keep all swords, daggers, poison, ignorance and hate to yourself, for they have no place here. We are all seeking peace and softness. There will be no tolerance for hateful words and comments, general rudeness, patriarchal and colonialist attitudes and those afflicted with the disorder of having their mouth be larger than their brains. There is no guarantee every story here will be a happy one. In fact, some will be downright awful, or the muses forbid boring. But what you consider boring and awful may not be to someone else. That is the nature of storytelling. Not every story is for you.
Asteria Blackwell:I am high priestess of these hallowed halls. I am king of this space. My word is law, and the law is that all are welcome here, and I truly mean all, every gender, every race, every background and every inclination. If you cannot abide by my laws, then please go roll in the mud with the rest of the pigs somewhere else. As for the rest of us, welcome. You are meant to find your way here, to find your way here. Welcome back all. It is a pleasure having you here. I have so much to share with you this week. I want to start off by saying how eternally grateful and happy it makes me to see so many souls spending time in our library. Like I mentioned last time, people are making this into a wonderful gathering place and we have decided to embrace that energy. With that, I am pleased to announce the opening of the Ambrosia Cafe, located inside the Lost Library.
Asteria Blackwell:The Ambrosia Cafe is helmed by the amazing Lady Phryne and her wonderful baristas, who are here to offer you a wide selection of beverages, everything from the popular coffee based drinks to a selection of lovely hand blended teas. Plus, they offer the ever popular Jug of Wine from the Dionysus Wineries. And let's not forget to mention the selection of beers, meads and ports, and this is most exciting. But our baristas have developed a line of blood-based drinks for the discerning vampires and undead among us. Vampires and undead among us. Those new concoctions range from flavored, spiced and supercharged, and can be made iced or warm. Partnering with Franny and the Ambrosia Cafe is Chef Will Blake, who many of you will recognize as the werewolf who owns and runs the highly popular Flea Bite Bakery down in the Arts District. He is bringing us tasty treats such as pastries, sandwiches and organic treats for everyone, whether you are human, animal or something in between.
Asteria Blackwell:The Ambrosia Cafe is located in the north reading space and is open now. We have plenty of comfortable tables and chairs, and we even have real plates and napkins to cut down on paper waste Plus. It's just so much more civilized. We have dedicated the cafe area and that North Reading space as the place for any patrons who wish to have lively conversations and hold meetings of groups. In equal turn, the west reading space is now our silent space. If you are like me and get distracted when the coffee bean grinder goes off every few minutes, then you will absolutely love this area. We have brought in some quality, overstuffed furniture, the kind that just invites you to sink in and relax, and I must say from personal experience that those chairs are quite addicting, especially when you have a good cup of tea and a good book. I find that bad moods evaporate in moments when I'm there. Of course, do not worry, for we still have the moss chairs and meadows to sit in, yes, but it's also nice to have proper chairs and couches and tables. Some of us do have rather bad knees and stiff backs after putting on miles of adventures.
Asteria Blackwell:And speaking of updating our spaces, this is terribly exciting. Two massive fireplaces appeared overnight last week. One rose up in the west silent space and the other between the cafe and the farm meadows, other between the cafe and the farm meadows. We have added a variety of new lamps and rugs, and when we came in the next morning, the library had decided to add to the ambiance itself by dreaming to life these amazingly carved mantles with roaring fires. The flames have been going strong for over a week now and they've yet to dim or slow down. You can sit as close as you like to the flame without getting too warm, and they smell of soft Palo Santo and evergreen. There are always patrons to be found now near the fires, basking in the soft magic of this space, reading in solidarity under our starry domed ceiling. It's utterly magical.
Asteria Blackwell:I mentioned last time that so many exciting book clubs and learning communities are forming here, and we have new ones that crop up daily. Just today, for example, we had one club meet that is reading a spicy gay pirate romance novel, and then there was another one that is choosing to dive into first-hand accounts of great naval battles in history. That naval group is quite rowdy. I have never heard so many heated arguments over ships in my entire life. Everyone who comes through the doors here are so passionate about something, and I am glad we can offer space for that.
Asteria Blackwell:Also. One of our resident squirrel patrons brought up the notion of having a seed library, which is a repository of all sorts of seeds, acorns and assorted items. I thought this was a fabulous idea, so we have set up a space near the main checkout desk where you can take or leave seeds as you wish. Right now we have a plethora of selections. There are plenty of pomegranate seeds and narcissus and hyacinth. Oh, and we even have some of those lovely whirligig seeds from Yggdrasil, the world tree. So you can start your own world tree, but just make sure you have space for it. Dears, they do tend to grow rather large. So for those of you with a longing for greenery and growth and good dark dirt, come on by and help yourself. One housekeeping note I do need to pass along. We've had quite the uptick in souls coming in to partake in solo and or group rituals and or orgies in the forest depths. We welcome everyone, of course, but please do stop by the main desk to arrange a reservation with me so we know you are here and we can add you to our schedule of events if you wish. Plus, this will help to ensure no one stumbles onto your ritual unintended, unless you want them to.
Asteria Blackwell:All right, dear listeners, I want to follow up on a topic we discussed in our last episode. I mentioned I had received a letter from someone at the university who had concerns about our library and my credentials. I extended an invitation to the university for them to come and speak with me directly and I'm happy to report that I had a large group of academics take me up on that offer and it was a wonderful meeting. We have come to the arrangement that if their papers and books are included in our library, well then they have no objections at all, which is lovely. They will work up a classification and notation system for the library's offering on their end and they designated a liaison who will help coordinate between the lost library and the university. Her name is Cassie and she is quite lovely and, frankly, one of the most intelligent people I've come across in many years people I've come across in many years. This liaison role is part of her dissertation studies and she'll be the one to reach out to you if you have questions in that realm.
Asteria Blackwell:The ever-increasing number of individuals who are here to help to be part of this amazing space has been nothing short of extraordinary. And you know, dear listeners, I was thinking last night of ways that we could best channel that excitement and energy into something life-changing, into something that can do good wherever it goes, and I'm considering if this is the right time to begin a special group of acolytes, a good old-fashioned mystery cult, if you will. Now, some of us who have been here for eons are very familiar with a wide variety of mystery cults, and I mean, who hasn't been to a Dionysian mystery cult party and gotten so drunk you swear you were dancing with Dionysus himself and you hear the stars sing in joy? And well, you know all of the other perks that come from a good Dionysus cult party. Those of you who have never had the pleasure should know that a mystery cult is a group of like-minded souls who have converted their passions into devotion and, if called, ecstatic ritual. This is a secret society, so to speak, where we will form our own bonds and make our own rules and rituals as we dive deep into the mystery and ecstasy of the act of learning and holding stories sacred. Perhaps we can begin by naming it the Lost Library Mystery Cult. If anyone is interested, please see me at the front desk. If you're listening and cannot make it to the library, then please email me at priestess at lostlibraryofeliseumcom. There will be a mystery cult level available on our sub stack with our own private channels of communication.
Asteria Blackwell:Okay, now for some announcements. On behalf of the Elysium Town Council and the Elysium Activities Board, I am elated that I get to announce the 2,524th Great Dionysia Festival will take place later this spring. Yes, this is amazing news to be back in full swing. The Great Dionysia, which many also refer to as the City Dionysia, is a renowned playwriting competition, and what is even more thrilling is that this year the Great Dionysia will be happening right alongside the Olympic Games. There will be so much going on this summer. I cannot believe it. Of course, the Olympic Games happen every four years and are for anyone who wishes to sign up. There will always be the classic games, such as wrestling, running and all of that, but new sports are being added in this time, so be on the lookout for golf, synchronized swimming and water polo. Clothing, as always, is completely optional, but the pros know it just slows you down.
Asteria Blackwell:Now, as we mentioned earlier, the city Dionysia will take place in its usual location, at the amphitheater, in the evenings, after the games have concluded. For the day, you can expect a whole slew of new plays, both comedies and tragedies, for your entertainment, and I know I'm going to get emails from Oscar Hammerstein, but there is no musical section. I'm terribly sorry. You will just have to take that up with the event organizers. I'm sorry, and I could share the fantastic news, which is, after decades of letters and public shaming, the organizers have finally agreed to implement a women's play competition. I don't see why they won't let women enter the main event unless they're worried they'll get soundly beaten. But progress is progress, even if it's only a publicity step. So, ladies, sharpen your quills and get cracking. You have some haters to squash.
Asteria Blackwell:I don't know about you, but I am most looking forward to seeing what William Shakespeare will bring this year. Last year, as many of you may remember, he and his boyfriend Kit Marlowe took first place with the hilarious Witches of Ilium, breaking Sophocles' 38-year-long first place streak. The buzz around the Witches of Ilium has not quite died down yet, even today, and I must say it is still one of my favorite productions. Oh, and I almost forgot to mention another change this year no one will be eaten by lions if you place less than fifth. Yes, I know, it was putting such a damper on a great time, so instead just expect endless ridicule instead of being mauled by hungry lions. And for those of you who are more hands-on, the city Dionysia is in need of people to construct sets, costumes and masks. Oh, and ticket takers, of course, and the Olympic Games will also need hands for tickets and events set up. So please do sign up if you wish to be involved. No prior experience is needed, but we do need some people who know how to use some tools and such.
Asteria Blackwell:Now let's hear an update from our wonderful oracle, big Midge. I asked Big Midge how her date with Brunhild went, and here is what she had to say, in typical Big Midge fashion Let me sing of love, for I am tired of singing of death, of fate and cruelty. She is my siren. She called out in the darkness Find me, love me, let me love you. We have found each other in every universe, in every life, and I have written a thousand stories for her. We are as one, one breath, one thought, and we are a dream sung into life by the stars. Thought, and we are a dream sung into life by the stars. That sounds amazing and everyone can hear how wildly in love she is, and I am ecstatic for the both of them. I believe I even saw a U-Haul in front of Big Midge's house the other morning, which is a wonderful turn of events. Remember, you can send in your queries to Big Midge via email at oracle, at asteriablackwellcom, and she'll reply if she has something to share. Okay, here we go, oracle number one.
Asteria Blackwell:Dear Big Midge, my grandmother always told me to keep a birch branch tacked above my door for banishing and keeping away ill spirits. I've done so without fail for years, but my grandmother never mentioned what to do when the birch banishes you from your own home. I haven't been able to get inside my house for over a week. Help, sincerely Locked Out. Dear Locked Out. Well, the birch is doing its job. Then it seems it sounds like you've been infected with a curse. Have you been consorting with the wrong sort of folk, like the ones who voted for that orange demon in the American elections? Wait, are you the one who stuck a Trump flag out in their front yard? Yes, I can see it now very clearly Locked out. Your house hates you and what you've done to it. You need to take a journey to the cleansing waters of Excelsior Springs and try to wash away that curse, which is rather sticky and often needs soap and sometimes a lie. If that doesn't work, I'm afraid you'll have to find a new place to live. Sorry, dear, that's what happens when you consort with the wrong sort of folk.
Asteria Blackwell:Oracle number two Dear Big Midge, I recently inherited a strange small statue from my uncle who was a professor at the university. It kind of looks like an octopus, but also a dragon and maybe a human face. It's hard to say because it keeps shifting every time. I look at it directly and the issue is this thing whispers to me every single night and it says some really weird stuff, like jail time weird. I don't know what to do with this thing and my mom says I have to keep it because it's my uncle's and but it really creeps me out. Help Sincerely. Going Slowly Insane. Dear Going Slowly Insane, please return that to the university. They've been looking for it and, for goodness sakes, please do not wake it up. It's the oldest of the old gods and it took a lot of blood sacrifice to get it to sleep, and so, for the love of all, just don't answer back.
Asteria Blackwell:Oracle number three. Dear big midge, my neighbor's rooster wakes me up every freaking morning. I want to sleep in, but this jerk just keeps crowing his head off. What can I do Sincerely? Sleepless in Seattle. Dear Sleepless in Seattle. The roosters are going to war, so they sing out a mourning battle cry, but then realize that that is a lot of work and maybe it can wait another day. I'm afraid you'll have to challenge the rooster to a battle and let him win.
Asteria Blackwell:All right, let's pause and consider the weather and what you can expect. Yggdrasil's leaves are unfurling, so watch out for those whirligig seeds or you may end up with a world tree sprouting up in your backyard. That's how we ended up with an offshoot of Yggdrasil growing behind the convenience store on Washington Street, and it's already starting to produce new worlds. Last night's freak light storm disrupted the auroras, which sent hundreds of sprites aflight. I am hearing reports that the fireflies have also been carried off on the electric winds, but most are making their way back home. We can expect several days of odd light flashes and hums as the sprites and fireflies recover, and I do have an update on that surprise eclipse we experienced Monday.
Asteria Blackwell:The moon who was originally blamed, as she usually is, has been cleared. We have confirmation that it was Fenrir, the great wolf of the north, who became a little too inebriated on a night out and, as we all know, when Fenrir gets inebriated he becomes very maudlin, and when he becomes maudlin he eats the sun. Fenrir is now recovering, but I hear he has heartburn and wants everyone to know he is sorry and he sincerely regrets his actions. Loki, if you are listening, please come get your son and maybe consider taking him into therapy, or just take him to a sporting event or something. Eating the sun is always a sign of attention, seeking, seeking.
Asteria Blackwell:Now, dear listeners, I no doubt know that you have gotten word that Charon the ferryman of the dead is in Elysium at this very moment. His arrival has caused quite the stir and he has not left his ferry post since before anyone can remember and, frankly, no one seemed aware that he could leave. To be honest, it seems he has been ferrying souls across the river because he enjoys it. Apparently, I must admit, his presence here is my fault and I apologize to the citizens of Elysium for how upsetting this is. You see, when we brought our lost library home from the Mirkwood Forest, there was no other option but to use Caron's Ferry, and that old wooden boat was just not able to handle the weight of a library. Me and a lunamoth, I dare say this might have been the first library who needed to cross in such a manner.
Asteria Blackwell:The library of Alexandria wafted down to the underworld on smoke plumes, and so did all of Troy. Come to think of it. Atlantis, of course, floated in, but this boat has been in use for eons, so I feel like this could have been something expected. Regardless, the boat held up as valiantly as it could, but right as we neared the far shore it cracked in two with a heavy groan, and as soon as we stepped off, it sank into the river.
Asteria Blackwell:I did offer to pay Charon for the boat, but he demanded that we fix it. Well, I am a priestess and not a boat builder. Plus, I have no tools, and well, that does not seem to matter to Charon. I do not want to speak ill of the man, but he told me to go look in my library for a book on boat repair and get on it, which seemed rather rude. Unfortunately, we did have unpleasant words, and well, I'll just say that he is still sore about the entire situation, entire situation so sore, in fact, that he has walked, while carrying the remnants of his boat, along the shores of the Akron River, just to deposit them on my doorstep.
Asteria Blackwell:Which now brings me to humbly ask if we have any listeners here who have experience with boat repair. Any Vikings in town, egyptians or Phoenicians perhaps, but please no one from the White Star line, though I am afraid Charon will not leave until someone has repaired his ferry. He has set up a camp behind the library and seems content to wait it out. I fear this will become a rather dire situation unless some compromise can be made. The positive side of this is that Charon's presence seemed to have scared off that errant Christian who keeps trying to set the library on fire and the water sprites do need a rest from putting out so many fires. I have gone out to sit with Charon and the remnants of his boat to perhaps come to some agreement. But Charon is not much for conversation, but, surprisingly, his boat is. Yes, I know I was surprised too.
Asteria Blackwell:The boat wanted me to hear his story, which I did with honor. So, dear listeners, as a peace offering to Charon and the magnificent boat who ferried untold numbers of souls across the dark waters of the River Acheron and the River Styx, here is his story, just as he spoke it to me. I have waited long to tell this story. Enough eons have passed that it feels like my life was a dream, but I remember the before. I was a giant ash, once a king, among the great trees that overlooked a cliff on a dark and wild northern sea. Cold rains and blowing winds were my cradle. As I rose up, larger and stronger than anything around me. King, the trees began to whisper. King, I took the title they offered. I held our memories. I held court and listened to the whispers of the earth, to the stars singing their songs and of the wild life that surrounds us.
Asteria Blackwell:We had a peaceful life for a long time until the day the boats arrived. A dozen of these long, thin boats packed with bearded men blew into the cove, driven by a fierce storm. The men washed up on the beach after their boats shattered on the rocky shore. Even I swayed in that storm, so great was it, one for the ages. Lightning rained down, one bolt after another, and the wind drew of huge waves to batter the shore. Many souls in the forest and the sea lost their lives that day, but enough of the bearded men survived. When the skies cleared, they raided my land and began to hack down so many of my denizens, only to burn them all. Every single one of them held stories of the days long gone, and it all went up to the stars, carried by embers. My queen shivered nearby as we could do nothing but watch them.
Asteria Blackwell:The bearded men soon turned their eyes to me and her. They whispered of how straight and tall the two of us were as they stacked more and more wood on their fires. Their eyes darted between their broken ships and us, calculating and planning and talking more over the endless fires. The next morning at dawn, the men advanced on us, axes drawn. In the end, it was only me they took, for the sea had claimed so many of their numbers. I had no resistance against those weapons. None of us did. My queen screamed, but they could not hear her. Yet I could, and I still, hear the echoes of her everywhere, even today.
Asteria Blackwell:They hacked and chopped and shaped. They ran blades over every inch of me, peeling away bark and branches, until I resembled nothing of what I had been before. I was shaped into one of their boats. My spine had been carved into the spine of their ship. As they pushed me out into the ocean and stepped inside, intent on carrying me away from everyone I had ever known, I heard my queen calling out to the gods, demanding justice. They have killed our king, my mate. Please save him. She cried. Save him, for he is our king, he is worthy and I love him. One god answered her call.
Asteria Blackwell:I do not know which one to this day, but as soon as we met the open sea, a great wave came out of nowhere and overturned me and all of the bearded men I carried. In one heartbeat, the men screamed and flailed. I hung upside down for a long moment, bouncing against the battering waves, everything that had been strapped to me fell away and sank into the darkness. I floated for a while, but soon the water took hold and I began to sink too. Bodies of men fell alongside me. The further we sank, the more the darkness swallowed us whole and till there was no hint of the sun.
Asteria Blackwell:I had once worshipped son. I had once worshipped. When I came to, I found myself washed up on a black sand beach that was littered with debris. Items like cooking pots and trunks and all sorts of jewelry lay scattered about like a wreck. Muddy water lapped at my sides and nothing seemed like home lapped at my sides and nothing seemed like home. After some time I noticed a very tall, dark figure walking along the shore. His slow, heavy steps were the only sound in this strange place. He stopped before me and stared, just as the bearded men had done before. Without a word, he flipped me over with one hand and dumped out the sand and water that had gathered on my decks. I was pushed back into that muddy water and he stepped inside and began to guide me down the river.
Asteria Blackwell:We moved from place to place along the banks, at first, just picking up a few souls here and there that seemed quite lost. Yet every time we had dropped one group off on the other side, we then discovered there were a handful more in place just waiting. So we ferried them, this strange man and I. He never spoke a word to me or them, but I enjoyed having something to do, at least A task Over and over. We carried passengers without question, without word. They offered coins for the rides, and soon they were too heavy for me to carry, so the man offloaded them to the shore.
Asteria Blackwell:I knew I could never go home again. I knew I was in the underworld, this strange place with a strange sun. The weight of the souls has worn down my body, step after step, as they traveled from one life to another. My queen's prayer has been answered in that, yes, I was worthy, but no one, not even a god, could save me from my fate. I've grown fond of this cranky old man who steers me. He's never bothered to tell me his name himself, but he takes care of me, sweeping the decks and repairing what can be repaired. This is not the life I would have chosen, but I am content in knowing that I did some good for someone I do hope I can see the stars again, though one last time. Again, though one last time. This is our great lost library of Elysium home at last, the shining beacon of knowledge and learning.
Asteria Blackwell:Twice a month I will bring you a story from the archives, so be sure to join me as we explore this magical world. We by which I mean me and this library are excited to share these stories with you. I welcome your feedback. Please email me at asteria, at asteriablackwellcom, which I will also list in the written show notes, or stop by the main circulation desk for a chat. My name is Assyria Blackwell and you have been listening to Stories from the Lost Library on Elysium Public Radio. © transcript Emily Beynon. This has been a production of Elysium Public Radio and Sandy Lynn Studio. Our music is written and performed by Scott Buckley. Today's story was written and narrated by Sandy Lynn. Follow us on Instagram and TikTok under the handle Asteria Blackwell For more information on the show or to obtain a library card for the Lost Library of Elysium, or perhaps to join our mystery cult. Then find us on Substack at asteriablackwellsubstack dot com.