Victims of Love
Wedding shenanigans: sockless groomsmen and baby calves
Picture a wedding where the unexpected guests are four-legged, and the 'I do's' are upstaged by impromptu skinny dipping – it's the kind of wild ride that makes you RSVP 'yes' just for the stories you'll tell.
Picture a wedding where the unexpected guests are four-legged, and the 'I do's' are upstaged by impromptu skinny dipping – it's the kind of wild ride that makes you RSVP 'yes' just for the stories you'll tell.
Okay, alright, we're gonna do some quick fire questions. Kylie, you've got a question for you Rads.
Kylie:Yeah, well, I want to. I actually just want to know the story about the baby cow. Is that what you call it? Yeah, I want to know, baby cow the calf.
Rads:What calf? Come on. Come on, I want to hear it. Come on the baby cow. Okay venue, how long do I have? Okay, five minutes. We've got two seconds At a venue, 120 people, food, drinks, going crazy. And I turn around and I'm like where the f is all my freaking stuff? Where are my stuff? And I'm like running around going, I swear to God. Anyway, I go out the back to the kitchen. Where are my stuff? And Tommy says, oh, one of them went that way. So I go that way and there is four of my stuff, feeding a freaking cow milk and I'm like taking videos and I'm like what the fuck are you guys doing?
Kylie:Was it like? Was it like?
Rads:you could pick it up. No, no, a freaking calf Like I don't know, you just did this with the holding a puppy.
Tommy:I don't know the calf is not the size of this coffee table.
Rads:It was like six days old, so it was like 30, 40 kilos, actually more, and it was literally the owners of the property live on site and we were doing a function there and they somehow saw one of my staff members and told him about a cow. So those staff members told him about yeah, so anyway, there they are bloody, taking videos of feeding this calf and putting it on. You know their socials.
Kylie:So, now that you're on the spot with this, is this the wedding also? So with the cow and the routing and not not rooting the cow.
Rads:No, no, no, we're rooting the cow that we're having pretty much doing lines of cocaine on the cow. We were in a cow panic so this place had a cow and I turned around and I was like what the fuck is that? And I look over in the thing and there is this head. And it's not a cow's head, it is a freaking guy fucking something and behind it like behind a cow. So oh, this wedding, oh my God.
Tommy:The best one was that wedding we did where one of the groomsmen and he was a good old country boy, I think it was like a lot of towns, little based bride and groom, groomsmen and stuff and he was paralytic like seven 30. We were like, oh my God, we're gonna have issues with this guy. And I think it was like the the father of the bride, had to have words with him, tell him to set himself down and all that. Basically, the guy could only talk or walk. So we were like, right, mate, you're gonna have to sell down, your cut off and all that.
Tommy:And then an hour later walk out into the car park and we just hear this and I was like who's clapping? And then we turn around and this guy is giving it to a bridesmaid behind one of the van, behind the cabin van, and like I was like I was more impressed. I was like man, you went from being paralytic I was like gonna have to kick you out to managing to get one away. It was amazing and I was impressed as well. Like that she was like touching her toes, which I thought was very impressive. So you're like, okay, well, we'll let you finish up there. And then, before I get into the van.
Kylie:I don't know, I haven't had anything like you to, because I come, I come after everything. Yeah, the only one I had was the naked groomsmen in the cauldron.
Tommy:Yes, that was.
Kylie:That was that wedding that we talked about in my podcast. But we went for the pack down in there. It was just a mess and it was horrible and but you know they had a great time and I love that couple, so I didn't care. But I went to put stuff. There was just shit everywhere and I went put stuff in the cauldron and I only got the cauldron and there were clothes in the fans and stuff in the in the venue. So somebody had stripped off. But they were in the cauldron, two fellas, absolutely butt-naked, chugging champagne, and I said to them they weren't even scared when I opened the door.
Kylie:That is like and I was like you come you're gonna die in here, like, like, and they're like oh yeah, what is everybody still here? I was like no, it's like one o'clock in the morning because it was like a hiding Salsa cold. Yeah, they were in the eating cake.
Tommy:I don't know, I just love the cow thing, yes, but every just say Because, like we write, we have all these, we write our run sheets, we've got all our stuff sorted that, but there's always something there you haven't, you can't comprehend you haven't planned for. Yeah, I mean like there's no where pandas like oh right, so what are we gonna do when all the staff fuck off and go and see a cow? This is always something you're like, okay?
Kylie:The most important thing about this podcast, too, is the. You know, we talk about sensible things, of course, but but weddings are beautiful, funny, ridiculous messes.
Tommy:Well, yeah, I mean everyone's always talk overall after wedding for years and years and years, the stories that you tell her about this crazy shit.
Rads:Yeah, not the beautiful things.
Tommy:Yeah, so it's like they're the things. I mean, they're the things you're gonna take away from it. Really, that's what you actually want, and I think that's the thing too.
Kylie:You want companies that have serious rules to for your safety and so that your wedding's amazing, but you also want a company who, who can have a, have a laugh and just be like get the fuck out of that cold room, guys.
Rads:Yeah.
Kylie:I'll call you a cab.
Rads:Yeah, yeah, do you want, do you want?
Kylie:had to drive you. You can't stay in the cold room.
Tommy:I totally get it. I would be there too. I'm not you. Yeah, a lot of times I'm looking at like weddings and groomsmen online. I'm like looking at a cruise me like what a funny.
Rads:Yeah, I wish I was you right now. I want to be you.
Tommy:I'm just, I'm upset because I'm sober.
Kylie:Oh yeah, and you know we often we could be so excited and then it's like, oh, have you seen them? I saw them just walking. That's our crowd, cuz sometimes they're just so gorgeous. Some of them look absolutely mischievous and it's actually quite exciting. I mean, I had one. I was so excited that they were gonna pop off confetti cannons and I was so ready and I was like it's only me, right at midnight at one o'clock. It's just Hudson, you pack the truck and and I knew that it was just kind of make the biggest mess everywhere. Yeah, and I, when I walked in and there's just a fatty I've never seen so much fucking confetti. I didn't even know where to start. It was, it's everywhere, I'll tell you. I couldn't stop smiling because they had had it. I don't know what else they did to the confetti. It was like moist. There was a lot going on and yeah, I still.
Tommy:There is a look, isn't it? And we have it all the time we like. The wedding starts arriving at the venue and I'll be there. I'll be one of the first to see, so I'll sign the kitchen. Like I'm looking scanning the crown, I'm like, oh my god.
Rads:We're in for it, yeah.
Tommy:Rags, like rags, rags. Okay, I'm not gonna actually say what. I'm not gonna say any fashion choices or looks. No, I like and I will say this, like neck tattoos. The guys with neck tattoos are the most polite guys.
Rads:I love them right. They're the ones they used to scare the shit out of me.
Tommy:I'm gonna be like oh my god, we're in for a time. It's not those guys.
Rads:Let's just wait in for it. Tonight the van is packed at eight o'clock and he's gone. He says to me there's like 25 boys with head to toe tattoos. I'm like, oh fuck.
Kylie:Well, let me talk about that too, because you know I mean I am like I said before. You know I'm a fattel lady. I can cause a mischief like no one's business. So if you saw me coming you'd be like that fellow lady's not going to cause any harm. You see the guys with the full head tattoos and stuff. And you're like, but it's totally the opposite.
Tommy:They are the. They are. So it's Arce Barbara. Yeah, that's the issue. It's kind of our sad yeah. Yeah, the moment of the neck tight is absolutely sweet, I don't know, it's so polite.
Rads:Yeah, excuse me, I mean that's because he knows that he can't be mischievous Because he's going to get kicked out, but Arce.
Tommy:Barbara is the one who's an absolute nightmare.
Rads:Literally every person that has like scared the shit out of me when they first walked in is like excuse me, miss, excuse me, excuse me, ma'am, and I was like by the end of it I was like can you stop?
Tommy:calling me that, Like, just get my name's Rags Like what do you want?
Rads:You know, you're so nice.
Tommy:Stop it. You're so nice. There's a certain look that we see sometimes in these weddings where you go.
Rads:Oh, yeah, we got to it. I'm not going to say what that look is no.
Tommy:Because Zog you guys dressed up, but you know, yes, Well, one thing is it's those shoes everyone's wearing without the socks and the pants are a little bit high. That's a look. I'll call it right now. You guys do not look as good as you think.
Rads:It's not going to be timeless, isn't it Like you're going to look back in 20 years and go fuck, I should have worn a long pants.
Kylie:I think boys in Nicarbacas and no socks, and that's it. Yeah, that's it. You just know they're there for a good time. They haven't even worn full pants, because they need freedom yeah.
Rads:What about these people? I always do this a couple of times. I'm like these people walk in and you're like, excuse me, this is a private event. It's like, yes, I'm part of the wedding. It's like, oh fuck, do you forgot to dress up? Like literally, you know, like thongs and shorts, and you're like, oh, you know they're in the wedding because I didn't see them come in, and then you have to go to another person and go. Is he part of this wedding?
Tommy:or is he annoying? Is he annoying you? There's usually always a couple of relatives, obviously, that have come in from out west. Yeah, and it's all good, nothing. But it's like when they have a bill of bonkshirt, is them dressing up? Yeah?
Kylie:And I was like, oh good, those guys are sweet as as well, yeah. But it's like oh, I'm happy. Oh no, it's the fancy fucks that cause them. It is the fancy fucks yeah and.
Rads:I joke, the children, the kids, the children. You cannot drink till you're 18. And you can't pull past me please. Oh no, I've left my D at home. I was like that's great, let's go jump in my car. We're going to your back, to your accommodation. They're like you, don't worry, you don't need to drink today.
Kylie:Do you know what? So I think, well, this was a quick one.
Rads:Yeah.
Kylie:Can I just ask before we finish are you sure the counting is still weirded Like a part like this, the counting?
Rads:the noticing this happened, oh fuck no, no.
Kylie:So what's going on?
Rads:There's so many weird things that happened.
Tommy:I'll say that this time, of course, like every day, there's going to be new, weird things.
Rads:There's so much shit that happens. It's constant. Do you know what we should do? We're going to write a Bible, everybody for our podcast.
Kylie:I reckon Reds and I should keep a little journal. Reds and I aren't journalists Nothing against you journalists or diary keepers but we might start a little. Well, you do a black book of, yeah, what we are making by ourselves, I think there's so much crazy shit happens that we kind of normalize it.
Rads:It is You're right, so so exactly Like you look at the behavior of people.
Tommy:There's some of the shit that happens and you're like, oh yeah, just another wedding. Then you actually look at your go. That's not normal behavior, yeah.
Kylie:Imagine if your workplace, if you went to the bank, right, and all of a sudden shit started kicking off there in your workplace, like that. I mean, this happens to us every single time there's something crazy going on. And yeah, it is a wild right, weddings are wild and we're ready.
Tommy:We're ready and we love it. We love a bit of drama, oh my God. Yeah, and we need someone to talk about Monday morning, and we do talk about your weddings on Monday morning we're going to have so much to tell you about.
Kylie:We can't wait to show you.
Tommy:All right, we'll wait for the victims of love. We'll see you next time.
Rads:Bye, bye.