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Breaking Free from Fashion Fears
you're afraid, I'm afraid, we are all so afraid of being judged by others that we aren't even aware we are putting ourselves into these small little boxes.
So we look to style systems and experts for the answers and then get super frustrated that they quote unquote put us in a box. So Well, you need to create your own box, your own style toolbox
Introducing the Style POV Podcast
Hi, I'm Gabriella Arruda, your host for the Style POV podcast, and I'm here to help you learn to trust your fashion instincts, hone your authentic style point of view, and find strength through style. Around here, we're connecting to our styles on a whole new level.
The Power of Perception in Fashion
I'm going to start by describing a woman. She's tall, has a slim fitted dress on with stiletto heels, beautifully coiffed hair, full lips, a small handbag, and a coat draped over her shoulders. Now, the woman I just described to you is in fact a businesswoman. Check the show notes if you want to see the actual picture.
But, your visual picture is most likely different from the reality, right? [00:01:00] And that has to do with perception and our ability to take one small piece of style data or a few little cues and build out an entire image of someone's personality and identity. Listen back to that description.
I'll say it one more time.
She's tall, has a slim fitted dress on with stiletto heels, beautifully coiffed hair, full lips, a small handbag, and a coat draped over her shoulders. What key pieces did you pull out of that that really shaped your narrative of this woman, or of this image?
Navigating Personal Style and External Influences
And that's the problem we have with our personal styles. Since we've been born, we have been molded by our thoughts, our experiences, surroundings, influences, and external stimuli. , this habitual narrowing of our focus essentially creates a shortcut for our brains.
We look at a dress for two seconds on the rack and say, nope, too fit in the waist for my body shape, or some other extremely narrowly focused element. We do this when shopping, we do this unconsciously when evaluating other people's style, and we [00:02:00] even unknowingly do it when we learn about our own style.
We aren't born with good style. You may have been molded to be more aware of certain artistic theories that help you with your style, but it's not a quote unquote God given talent.
The Pitfalls of Style Systems and Finding Your Own Path
So most people go in search of information to help with their styles. The only problem is, is that to tricky habitual narrowing our brain falls back to.
Now, in some aspects, this narrowing can be incredibly helpful. You think, yes, I know what I like.
However, it can cause a disjointed experience with the knowledge you gain, and it can lead to improperly perceiving the body and its forms of style or aesthetic. Now, this can take many different forms, but the habitual narrowing of our visual experience Transcripts provided by Transcription Outsourcing, LLC.
That's important. Instead of saying, well, this garment has bell sleeves, and I usually feel a bit swallowed up by the volume, you don't even consider, [00:03:00] well, the fabric is light, the sleeves have a cropped length, and the overall silhouette is structured for a petite person. You default to bell sleeves, not for me.
Because of this narrowing, you go in search for more answers. Let me guess, you love learning about the Kibbe image identity system. Well, it most likely jostled your perception blocks and stopped your initial molded interpretations of things, and gave you a new foundation of information to understand form
from. So new information is great. It can help us reshape these preconceived conclusions we have for our styles, but we also develop a churn and burn attitude to them. When they stop giving us the new information high we received in the beginning, we become like style system addicts. Searching for the next new system or archetype to place us and give us the confirmation we need to avoid cognitive dissonance.
How dare they assign me the natural essence when I'm sexy and look great in a bodycon dress. [00:04:00] Men just love me, okay?
Well, this is a complex topic, and I want to help you out with it, because if you're going to learn to trust your own fashion instincts, you need a good understanding of what you have learned, and you need to have a creative mindset when applying those principles. And the next episode will definitely cover style creativity, so I hope you check that out as well.
We're not swearing off this type of fabric or saying this one style system magically solved all of our issues.
Building Your Personal Style Toolbox
Instead, we are developing a style toolbox. A toolbox, let's say for a construction worker, is all the tools he might need for a If he's working on a bathroom plumbing, he might use a wrench. If he's putting up drywall, he might use the nail gun. But he only uses the tools that make sense for that project.
And he decides based on his education and the goals of the project, which tools get pulled. Similarly, your style toolbox is all the tools and systems you like and have used in the past to build outfits. Now the key [00:05:00] here is to understand the framework. Your toolbox doesn't have any strict rules. It only has solutions.
It should help you break away from that habitual cognitive narrowing or those preconceived notions and start allowing your truest, most authentic self to shine. Because the style systems don't teach you how to shine. They don't teach you what you like or what makes you laugh or what makes you an interesting human being deserving of space and respect on this planet.
They are tools, tools you decide how to apply. When to apply and how to mix up the project at hand. And the more you blend them all together and keep your formulas mixed up, the more you will stretch your creativity on how you perceive yourself and others. We all know fashion is powerful. We know the stats of how in under like seven seconds people have formed an impression of you.
Embracing Your True Self Through Style
But what we have to quantify properly is the power that is held when you heal your relationship with style and are bold enough to express your truest [00:06:00] self through style. But I get it, you're afraid, I'm afraid, we are all so afraid of being judged by others that we aren't even aware we are putting ourselves into these small little boxes.
So we look to style systems and experts for the answers and then get super frustrated that they quote unquote put us in a box. So Well, you need to create your own box, your own style toolbox. Every bit of foundational fashion information you gather, every style system you deep dive into, every daily outfit photo you take, it's information for your style toolbox.
It's like your very own database of who you've been and what you've tried. You've determined your Kibbe image identity, your Kitchener Essences, your Xyla palette. Developed a style statement, figured out your seasonal color analysis, determined your breast proportions, the list is endless.
Within each outfit you build, each of those pieces of information will not be weighted the same. Your style toolbox should show you Um, and you can really do [00:07:00] all the options. But then you take an outfit and you build it like an artist. You approach it with joy and creativity and reverence for the beautiful art that you are creating.
The Journey of Style Evolution
Ultimately a personal expression and then you evolve. Your style is a constantly evolving art form. It's actually so fascinating and empowering that with every outfit you wear and with each new day, you get another chance to express your style point of view. Thank you. And your true self. Now, sometimes there will be days where your art doesn't feel like art.
That's normal. The key here is to collect all of your style data. Your style toolbox is the data you learn, the foundations of your clothes, the foundations of the body, of the face, and whatever else you choose to put in it. Your daily outfit photos or videos, that's the data to evaluate and progress your style from point A to point B.
I'm going to be talking about how to apply where you are today to your future goal style, and we discussed fantasy styles and fashion goals [00:08:00] on my YouTube channel. I'll link the video in the show notes.
But the importance of the style toolbox needs to be properly understood. All those teachings you learned, all those hours of lessons and concepts, you need to throw them all in the metaphorical box and shake it up. There are no longer kibbe this or house the color that. It's just, here are the things I've learned, all put together.
And with each outfit you build, you use different blends of those learnings. Give a lot of power to the experts who teach us new, enlightening information. And rightfully, we should respect them. But personal style is personal. Each style or expert sees you in their own way, but only you know yourself best.
It's not Kibby style or Kitchener style or any other expert's style. It's yours. They are tools pushing you to embrace your best self. But until you start tapping into those core elements of yourself that you want to express, that you need to express in [00:09:00] your style.
You'll only be doing the equivalent of building a tract house in a complex of a hundred houses that all look like you, which is not the point of any style system or personal style. Those systems encourage you to find your truest style self. The problem is we narrowly perceive, remember my intro? The information and instead of using it to help us push our boundaries of style, we use it to validate our assumptions.
So how do we break away from these habits? We shake it up, like visually imagine putting all of your style knowledge into a box and mixing it all together. That's your style toolbox. And we don't outwardly say no to pieces of clothing we found out shopping or in our closet. Instead, we try to find the right collection of tools that can make it work, especially if that piece resonates with you.
with you on a deeper level. If you're drawn to something, your style demands you explore it. And how you explore it is [00:10:00] by finding the right tools to make it work. Whether your style toolbox has one system in it or 15, it doesn't matter. Clothing is an extended dimension of our bodily self.
But when it really starts to feel good and expresses your style point of view is when it goes past your bodily self and just expresses the inner you. It's scary, but amazing.
Trusting Your Fashion Instincts and Embracing Originality
Now, part of developing a style toolbox is learning how to trust your own fashion instincts. You're not narrowly defining small elements of clothing or overly relying on any one expert's interpretation. You're learning to trust you, because guess what? The proof will be in the pudding.. You see those daily outfit photos. You've been religiously taking Article linked in show notes if you need to get started on that extremely important style habit But you see those photos and clarity emerges over time. It starts with, oh, I like how I use this shirt.
It uses these tools in a cool way. And it evolves into this outfit. [00:11:00] That's really me. This podcast aims to tackle some of the misconceptions we have about our styles and emotionally heal some of our issues with expressing our unique style POV. You're an original.
I can't wait to see you express this. Thank you for trusting me with your time. It's been an honor to show you a different perspective on style.
Conclusion and Invitation to Continue the Style Journey
I want us to learn to trust our own fashion instincts, develop our own style POVs, and always find strength through style.
Conclusion and Invitation to Continue the Style Journey
And if you're in a style rut or just need to inject some style creativity into your looks, be sure to check out the next episode.
Until next time. And you know, new podcast, so subscribe, review, do all the friendly things.
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