Episode 7: The Importance of Community

In this episode I talk with two fellow gentle warrior sisters-Brittany Neal and Danielle DeMarco. We discuss what made each of us join GW, the importance of community and being held through healing, and what has surprised us the most in joining a healing group. We also discuss life experiences, how you can find community in other ways, and what has been the biggest blessing from finding a sisterhood. 

@brittanyneal34
@danidemarco.roberts

Instagram: 8thwonderdesigns
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Transcript

0:00

In the darkness, I found my light. In the broken, I found my fight. Through the struggles, I learned to soar. I rose above and I wanted more. I am the eighth wonder. Standing tall, I won't be torn asunder. I've healed the wounds I've overcome. I am the eighth wonder. The strongest one.

Ashley: 0:38

Hello, and welcome to the eighth wonder podcast, inspiring you to be proud of where you're at one story at a time. I'm your host, Ashley. Let's get started. Welcome to episode six. we have two fellow beautiful, gentle warrior sisters here, Danielle and Brittany. Say hi guys. Hi. So excited you guys are here. Thanks for having us. Yeah. Thank you. I'm excited. Of course. I just want to today talk about Gentle Warrior as like the community that it's created for us and like how it's changed our lives. the first question I wanted to ask, and either of you can answer first, but, what made you join Gentle Warrior? what was your like, aha, I need to join this group moment? I've got a kind of unique story with it. Um, actually met Jeremy and Taryn Neves, um, about six months before the groupie birth. So my husband was a part of, um, Jeremy's Abundant Tribe and we went on a Mexico vacation And it pretty much changed the trajectory of our entire life. Um, we were living in Dayton, Ohio at one point, and we kind of came home and said, Hey, listen, like we're wanting, we met this rad group of people. Um, Taryn hadn't even launched Gentle Warrior at that point. So, um, it was one of those things where we were, we came home, talked to our oldest daughter and she actually said yes, which is very rare for a 14 year old to want to pack up from Ohio and move across country. So we started that and kind of put it in motion and then Taryn announced the group like three or four months after that vacation and I had already signed up to do one on one coaching with her. So it was like, What the hell? I might as well. And like, you know, I'm moving across country. I have no friends out there other than the few people that we, you know, interacted with and met with. Um, and I was looking truly for just kind of a group of women that would be able to meet me where I was at. And was on the same kind of trajectory as me. And that was just something that was missing. It had been missing for years. So it was, I kind of felt like a no brainer. Yeah. You guys were just going to come get, you're just going to get me. But was that scary for you? It was so scary. Yeah. Part of it. I mean, I lived in Ohio my whole life and our entire family was there. Like, um, we were very active with our family, like kind of doing family events and. Just everything. Um, and we left a lot of stuff behind, you know, not just people, but, you know, a home that we thought that we were going to be at for forever. Yeah. It was just, it was, it was crazy, but it was great. So cool. Yeah. It's really badass that you did that. I'm like, I don't know if I would have been brave enough to move across the country and be like, and it's really cool that It was like a true YOLO moment, you know, and, and being at that time, like, what is it? 30, 37 years old. Like, it was like, okay, we're doing this. We're moving two kids. Two dogs, a ball python, which had to sit in the middle of the road. Oh my gosh! Do you have a snake? Yes! Do you have a snake? I do. Yes. Yes, her name is Kaya, and she sat in, like, right up front with us. Oh my goodness! The whole 26 hours that we drove out to Utah, so. That is awesome. Legit. I'm like, I told my oldest daughter, like, you make sure that she does not get out. Cause if she starts wrapping around me while we're driving, like we're going to have issues. But yeah. And the two dogs in the back, like Jake's got the moving truck and it's Arabella on the front seat, man. It was an interesting. Do you need pictures? I, I don't. Oh, I know. I'm like, I want to see those. The whole try the whole time. I was like, And I probably shouldn't say this, but we were drugging the dog. So that way they wouldn't act crazy. Like they had their, their stuff that made them real drowsy. So, um, we had that going for us. And then, um, you know, the, the snake in between us, I'm like, We fed her before we left, so I'm like, she'll be good for like, a week until we get settled. Oh my goodness. But yeah, it was, it was, it was wild. I have to say. Yeah. You said, I don't know if I'd be brave enough to do that. Yeah. Isn't it funny to actually think that? Old me would've been like, I, yeah. I don't, I couldn't do that. But yeah. Now knowing, now knowing I would do it in a heartbeat. Yeah. Yeah. And the magic and the all of it. Mm-Hmm. Can, I can see you and Nick to, are you kidding? I could see you guys Totally. Yeah. Going on a trip and with the group and then like, okay, yeah, let's do this. True. It's true. It felt like home. Yeah. I mean, I've never met like women. That's so sweet. And just even in the men. Um, you know, some of our choices and friends prior, um, were just, I wouldn't probably put people in that, like that vault category. Um, it was more like acquaintances and it was more people that, you know, we're on one trajectory and we just wanted more. So it always felt like we were a little, once Jake, my husband started to really dive into the work, like he went first. And I obviously followed and it just felt like we needed to have that, like, support and community in those, in those choices that we were making to better ourselves, but then also, you know, break some of the generational trauma that we were, that we carried with us. So, and it's, I mean, this work is not for the faint hearted. No, it's not. It's not. It's not. I mean, it's, it's every day. It's a struggle and you, you need that. And you kind of need the people that are on the same trajectory. I love that. That was my story. It's kind of a long winded story. No, I love it. Ohio to Utah and we're here. I love it so much. It's like perfect. It's exactly what I want to talk about is like it shows the importance of community that you were willing to like pack up your whole life and come here because you knew the importance of it. So beautiful. Interesting, Taryn. Yeah. How could you not? Yeah, it's true. Hey, Jeremy, my gosh. So good. Yeah, my, why I joined Gentle Warrior. So I admit it's all, I met Jeremy and Taryn in, I think it was 2020. Um, in a personal development training, I staffed their training and then like started following them on social media and just watched Terrin's journey. And, um, she had shared going to Rhythmia and Costa Rica and like her, Ayahuasca story. And after that, when she announced that she was taking a group back to arrhythmia, um, I, yeah, just hit her up and was like, can we go to lunch? So we went to lunch. I decided, I was like filling the call, like, okay, like I'm in, I'd paid for the trip and everything. I think 20, let's see. 20, we went in 23, right? So 22, like fall of 22. And then, um, by January, I think she announced it that she was doing it in like January. That feels right. Yeah. I think it was January, maybe, but January. Cause I think we started in February of 23. Um, and I was headed for. Ayahuasca with them in March, and Planyel had done a lot of prep. Of course she did. Just takes it very serious. Doing a ton of crosswords and all that internal work. Um, and I did know from the research, I had nothing, like how important integration is. And so like when she announced it, I was like, yeah, like I want to have a community of people that can hold me through, um, cause not only is like the medicine is super important, but If you don't integrate and you don't have someone to kind of like keep you on your path after medicine can just be kind of an experience. Yeah. So for me it was the same thing like no brainer. Yeah. Um, and then yeah, that's why I joined the group. For me, it's interesting because I didn't know, like, that there would be a huge, like, I didn't even know the sense of humanity that I needed. Um, I was, it's so wild. I was just friends with Chiara, who is Taryn's sister in law, and she, like, told me, Taryn's starting this project. Gentle warrior group, it's full went for women, like on a healing path and I had like dipped my toes into healing, but I had never done like breath work or any of those type of things. Um, I've been mostly like counseling and getting through and I've shared that before. And so, um. Cara is like, we should join. And I'm like, Oh, I don't know. Like, and she's like, just fill out the application, like talk to Taryn and see how you feel. And so I fill out the application and then I talked to Taryn. I was like, done. Like, like you said, like, how can you not trust her? She's just incredible. Um, but it's been a huge surprise for me, the community because it's not what I went in for. I went in because I was just like, yeah, I need something else. Like I need to heal more. I knew that. Um, and so the community has been the biggest surprise for me and the most healing for me. So it's been really cool., I also wanted to ask, what do you guys feel like the difference is? Cause I've had that question before. Like what's the difference in gentle warrior between just like friend groups of women and like other groups that you've been in or, um, I know there's a lot of women that are fearful to join groups full of women. So I just kind of want to touch on like the difference of gentle warrior. And what we've experienced before. Um, for me, I feel like the difference it's Taryn, like Taryn, just the way she opened up the group and just was like, shared herself. And was very vulnerable and then just like laid the groundwork for how things are going to be. Um, I think set the tone for all of us having taken it very serious, like with like a reverence and maybe I'm just speaking for myself, but it fills, I feel that I feel the safety and I feel like it's because she laid the groundwork. Yeah. I mean, she created the, the container. Yeah. Sure. Oh yeah. Yeah. Totally. And, you know, for, I know Dani, you and I, like in, in the corporate world, it's just, it's so, it's such a different type of friendship and a different type of sisterhood that I just don't feel like there's many that could truly compare because of how vulnerable Taryn was and also just making sure that her expectations of, of what the group was going to be. It's out there too. I mean and ultimately she was looking for that too. She created what she was what she was looking for Yeah, what she wanted. Yeah, which is so cool Yeah, and I forgot what I was gonna say Yeah, we got one pregnancy brain and two mom brains Just I think one of Taryn's gifts is that She coaches and leads in such a beautiful way that. There is an ego attached and, um, she's in the work with us and she's never claimed to not be. And so I think her leading and show, I call her a way shower, she's a way shower and she inspires all of us to be human. And she does that by being human. Yes. And we all make mistakes. Like all of us are in the work. And for me, why Gentle Warrior has been so powerful, I'm gonna get choked up, is because it's like, I didn't know I had anything missing either, just like you. Yeah. But to have this container kind of like created, and then knowing to be a human and like start using these tools that she's talking about with each other. And um, it gives me more courage to like work on it, like build the muscle and then take it out into real life and use it. And that's been, that's why it's been so powerful for me is to like see blind spots in other people and then be brave enough to. To discuss them. Yeah. And then to know that like, it's a safe container that I want everyone to call me on my blind spots too. And that's how we grow is by like pulling each other up. Yes. And it just, Oh, it's the best. It is the best. I was thinking the same thing. Like Taryn has been just so human and so like raw and real with us. Like she doesn't get on calls and not share her own shit too. Like, she's like, I'm going through this right now and I'm doing this. And I'm, she shows up totally authentic and vulnerable. And it has been such a permission for all of us to do the same. It's why I'm here. It's why I'm sharing stories is because her first sharing her story and giving us all permission to share ours has changed my whole life. Like, it's so rad. I don't even have words, like, English words to say of what it has done for me. You know, literally just had a freaking full circle moment, Ash. Yeah. Because look at you, you didn't really know. You guys, when you met me, I know. Ashley was my first accountability buddy. Yeah. I love that. And we exchanged numbers and we got on Marco Polo. And we started Marco ing each other, and I think I'm like the person that's just like, So, here's right where I'm at. Yeah, I love it. It's so good. It's totally me. And then Ash just got on and was like, on Marco, and was like, So this is so out of, no, I don't even think you led with that. Yeah, I don't think I did. You told me right where you were. Mm hmm. And then at the end she was like, This is so out of my comfort zone. And then I had Marco back, I'm like, Is it? Because you're just like, That, I never realized that. Yeah. Like, so to go from there and how you talk about like, you were in a place in your life where you were so anxious you didn't want to call and make a doctor's appointment. Yeah. To like this. Yeah. I'm just, it's been so beautiful to witness. Thank you. It's been really fun. Chills. I know. Proud of you. Thank you. So sweet. Killed the game. You guys are so, so nice to you guys. This is why community is important. They're sweeter to me then. I know we have a bunch of them. Yeah. Can't hurt to have 10 hype girls. That's so good. You know, people that are going to meet you where you're at, you know, it's someday. I've had so many friendships, and I'm sure that you guys have too, where like, you know, you might have yelled at the dogs, yelled at the kids, spilled shit all over the floor. Sorry, I don't know if you're allowed to cuss. Yes, you are. You're allowed to say whatever you want. God, draw back that little Ohio. Leave me. Um, but like, you know, things, things happen, and, and sometimes like, There would be times where I'd be in the middle of a meltdown, like just crying, and like, just feeling really crappy about myself, or feeling like I didn't have it all together, and when a friend would call, they would be like, Hey, how's it going? Oh, it's good. Everything's great. It was a lie, but it was really that safety. Like you didn't feel safe to tell people where you're at. Conditioned. Yeah. We're literally conditioned and society. Had to have it all together. And like, I love the generation that came before us. Love my parents. Love my grandparents. They paved the way. I wouldn't be here without them. Totally. So, so much credit and respect to the generations before us, but we were not taught to write where we are and I mean, I only had a, it was a week long time in Costa Rica around this beautiful culture that's like very tribal and, um, It just, I was thinking about it on the drive here, like what's so different about our modern day, you know, like the modern society and like the Western world is that like, we're very far advanced, like information, like all of this, but what we've lost is like our roots in the sense of like having, and for me, like native American, like I'm part, I'm. I'm a quarter Native American, and I think I was drawn to a lot of this medicine because my grandma and like those native roots. Mm-Hmm. And if you think back when like Native Americans were going through things, they would take each other and they would take whoever was struggling into a sweat lodge. Yeah. Or a, an hot a teepee like, and they would rally around each other and they would hold each other through hard things and. That aspect is what like, Oh, I have chills. Like, I think that's what Taryn and like Jimmy with Watt, like they see the value in it and they're creating that here in our like, Modern day. That is so needed. Like, and just to go deep because I was thinking about this on the way here. Like for me, a lot of my healing journey started. Um, with a lot of loss in my life, like lost my brother in a car accident, a lot of addiction. And when you go through something like that, it changes you and you always, like, I will never forget the people that have looked me in the eye in those moments and been with me in pain, like through my pain. And I think that's what we are missing. And, um, I'm sure there's lots of stigmas around these groups and around, like, you know what I mean? Yeah. What is this? It's such a trip. Yeah. And it's like, really, when you think about it, and now that we've experienced it, it's so different than what people actually think that it is. 100 percent. It's, we're like loving each other through Loving the darkest parts of ourselves. Yes. Like the darkness that I've shared with like the, you know, like, and you all have loved me anyway, like, and more loved you more. It's a while in it, but then observing it in others. When they show me their darkest parts or what they would say are their darkest parts, I truly do love them deeper. Mm hmm. Like, it's real and tangible. Yeah. So, that is what I love so much about all this and why it's life changing. Yeah. Is because, Somewhere along the way it was lost, and I do believe that our generation is the generation bringing it back, and it's taking people learning to not look to the outside world for direction or what someone else thinks they should do. It's people like Taryn and Jeremy that have sat with themselves. And ask themselves for the answers and they're following their heart and it's birthing these like beautiful things. I love that. Truly is. I mean, I can't have said it any better. I know. I'm like, that was perfect. Literally. We're done. That's it. No, I'm just kidding. Good job. I did meditation this morning. It really was like, what? It's like, what's the deeper part of all of this though? Like, and I'm sure there's so many people that are like, what's a personal effect? Like I'm sure I have cowork past coworkers that are like, what? What? Like, oh, so many people. Yeah, totally. It's the best, especially from the Midwest. I'm thinking like, they're like our family. Like when we start talking about certain things, they're like. Okay. Yes. Like, what are you talking about? I mean, my mom has actually been kind of receptive to it. Yeah. She's been, she's like, well, I'm glad that you're just doing whatever you need to do to, you know, heal through like parts of, you know, for, not just for you, but also for the kids and the great grandkids and the generations after, um, you know, I talked on another podcast about, you know, I was trusted. You know, as a soul coming into this world to do that and my parents played a role in getting me to the point where I felt like I needed to make this, I guess, take this leap of faith and moving across the country is, is a leap of faith, you know? And it just, it felt like they trusted me. Um, to, to break those cycles and those generational traumas that we had, how does that mean that my kids are completely, you know, out of the woods? Absolutely not. Oh yeah. It just, I know, I'm like, it's like sage that part, you know, I'm sorry, I just was picturing that, like, that's actually what it will be. Yeah. And they, you know, but. Even my, my youngest daughter, we were having a conversation the other, or I'm sorry, not my youngest, my oldest. I, I still look at her like she's a baby, but she's not, uh, you know, 15 year old. We were just sitting around one evening and she looked at me and she goes, I mentioned something about Arabella, my youngest doing breath work with Jed. She, she's my spicy one. So I'm like, yeah, I feel like you might need some breath work. I got to cough this down just a little bit. I don't want to dim you. But I also, you know, you can't just refine, you can't wake up right away in the morning and be pissed, like figure this out. Like, so, you know, she's just spicy. She's Gemini, like, you know, um, so my, my oldest daughter and I were talking about it and she was like, my, my oldest daughter really has a soft spot for it. Um, Jed and, and Candace and just their entire family. She really, truly loves them. Um, so Candace, Jed, if you're listening, it's a heartfelt thing. Um, but, uh, you know, with it, we were just, we were literally just talking and she looked at me and she goes, mom, I really wish we moved out here earlier and I go, why do you feel that way? You know, cause at that point it's like she opened up the door, you know, so you want to know. Explore with questions. I'm like, why do you feel that way? And she goes, I love my family and I love my friends that I had, you know, back in Ohio. She's like, but there's a lot of hard stuff when you get into your teens. And it feels like. I could call any one of your friends or one of dad's friends and they would be there for me in a way that I wouldn't have been able to have. That is huge. And I kind of like looked at her and I was like, you know, I start to almost tear up because I'm like, okay, well this is the effect. This is the direct effect that having a community that's willing to kind of open up those blind spots. Look at those shadows, explore them, heal them. And this is what it is gonna do. And it was like a full circle moment for me. You know, not only being here for just a year. I'm like, wow the impact that it's going to have You know even just this being on this podcast like do you know how many people say to me when I'm wearing the sweatshirt? No, yourself heal the world. They're like, that's so true I've had older ladies come up to me and they've said they're like that's so true. I'm like Isn't it? And I mean, they have the biggest smile. So it's almost like, you know, what we talked about earlier of other generations being thankful that we're going and doing these things in an indirect way, just by wearing a sweatshirt, you know, um, and bringing forth like some of the taboo topics. That people like riddle themselves in shame, you know, and even my, my teenager, like it's, it's, she's open to go into breathwork. She's gone. She went to a pretty intense one. Um, she did. She, and she's, I mean, but afterwards it was such a great conversation. And. And she was like, there was a part of me that I kind of was going to play small going into it. And she was like, and then I just was like, you know what? I'm here. I might as well go for it and it was really hard being a mom and listening to your She was right next to me and I could feel her energy and I could hear her crying So as a mom like the you wanna you just go and I can't imagine Oh and in that same moment and this is her part. She has to heal I can't do that for her. Now, had I not been work, I might've gotten jumped out and, you know, tried to console her, but knowing that, yes, I've had an impact on her in that way. And she could be crying about something that That I gave to her or created or whatnot, and it's her responsibility to heal it. And I can't do that work for her. I love that. So it was, it was beautiful. So I mean, I, she's actually expressed interest in. Um, you know, possibly, you know, we're taking that medicine serum. She does make fun of me when I staged the house though. She thinks that, um, you know, charging the crystals and like, you know, stuff like that. But heck, our whole neighborhood probably thinks I'm wack doodles that those people from Ohio, man, like actually know, like, I learned this here, you guys have no idea. Oh, I would always used to look at me like that, too. What's wrong with her. And then all of a sudden we all found each other, got all the Chris's on, we're ready to go. Um, I mean, it's, it's just, you know, the ripple effect and kind of a like, um, I mean, even Alina had told me like. We had Taryn and Jeremy over for dinner, and she's like, they actually listen to me. I'm not just like a kid, like, I'm just not sitting at the dinner table, and they have no, they actually listen to me, and they care, and I'm like, wow, like that hit me in the heart. Like, that's, that's, that's amazing. Yeah. For a teenage girl to have multiple, not just mom and dad. Yeah. I, I, I would. It's a tribe. Yeah. Tribe. That's what I'm saying. Yeah, it really is. We're, we're here to help each other and help our kids along, and There's nothing that I if one of y'all called me is like, I need you to take my kid here. Okay, we're done. Yeah, we'll get it. Or if you need me to help you with anything else. Yeah, wink, wink. I'm not sure we should have that recorded. I freaking love you. Ohio in here, maybe some rules. Um, you just made me want to share, which I didn't think I was going to share this on podcast, but I did that. Um, Sangha with Candice, you were talking about how you were entrusted to come here. Like, you know, that and hopefully I don't get too emotional, but I was in Sangha with Candice and I was able to call my mom's highest self in and you guys, I asked her like, why, why was I treated this way? And she said, I did what I was supposed to do. And I know, and um, and I was like, okay, um, and Candace was like, is there anything else she wants to tell you? And she said, I, my mom said, I want you to know that you're safe in your own body. And Candace is like, how does she know you're safe in your own body? And I was like, well, that's a good question. So I asked her how, how do you know that? And she's like, it's a knowing, um, And Candace is like, ask her what she means by that. And so I was like, what do you mean in knowing? And she's like, I knew you would break it. Like I knew you would break the cycle. And it was just so like that feeling of like knowing, like a knowing in your soul that like you were entrusted to come here to do the work and just like having that behind you when you are showing up in really hard shit, like it's so huge. It was just like, so life changing for me. And so, thank you guys. But it goes back to the tribe. Thank you. Thank you. But it goes back to the tribe, right? Like I would have never met Candace. I would have never had that experience. I would have never been where I'm at. Like everything is so perfectly aligned. And having the tribe of people that we've met, it's just so life changing. It really is. Love you guys. Thanks for letting me share. I'm sure that helps you with your mom. Oh my gosh, you guys, I see her in a totally different light. Just, yeah. Totally different light. And that's hard. Yeah, it's really hard. It is. It is hard. And it's so, yes, it is. It is so true though. Conversations with God. Oh my god. Yeah, I haven't read it either, but I've heard. I'm gonna get very slowly because it's a lot to take in. Well, that's where the Sun and the Soul comes from. You know that, right? Yeah. You didn't know that? That's in Conversations with God. Yeah, it's like a parable in there and they pulled it out to make it a children's book. There's three books, like, in Conversations with God. It's, it's my gal. I know. There's messages of the body in there too, because that one is eye opening. Yeah. I do? Yeah, we just need to go check out. Actually, Candace called me on that, like, we were in Journey Space and she's like, In my cart. She's like, yes, And so good. Candace said, yes. like, we'll do it. Sometimes we need those people though to just like show us Right like, all right, I'll do it. It's fine. so good. But yes, it is. It's so like now I can't unsee it. Like ISI met my mom's highest self and I can't unsee it. And it's like, that's so beautiful. That's a message that hit your heart. And that's what starts to create the shift, you know, you have a new lens now. Yeah. Oh, so you're not seeing her filtered. Right. I'm seeing like her true. It's not how she parented me. It's who she truly is. Yeah. That's so cool. And it's so beautiful because now you can see it. And as you continue to heal, she might start to see it too. And that's the ripple effect. So good. Um, the next thing I wanted to touch on is, I already said this a little bit, but what has surprised me the most about Gentle Warrior is the community. It's surprised me the most is like having this community that I didn't even know I was missing. And I had no idea going in that that's what would heal me the most is having people there to like hold me and love me. It's given me, I've said it before, but like you guys loved me before I loved myself. Like you gave me permission to love myself. What has surprised you guys the most about Gentle Warrior? For me, how fast the friendships. Like, right. Yeah. Just like deep. Yeah. Authentic. Yeah. And, and that's because Taryn laid the groundwork. She did. Yeah. It's true. Of like, okay, like, are we going to play here or here or here, you know? Yeah. Yeah. We all just go right in after. That's true. You and I, what, we haven't known each other for what, eight, eight months maybe? I mean, we've been in the group together. We've been in the group. Yeah. But we didn't really connect, connect until like August of last year, right? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Holy shit. So it's like all of a sudden. It's so crazy. Yeah. Texting, calling each other on the shit. Yeah. Yeah. October. Yeah. First retreat was really when. So true. I think we did the womb healing. We had that moment on stage. Oh, let's go get, let's go go barefoot in the grass. So true. And that's what we're just sitting out there and I think we were looking at each other not saying a damn word, just like, okay, that was a lot, but it, it, it was, it was a lot and it, that was really the first time that you and I truly connected. Yeah. Yeah. So. Fast so fast just like oh, no. I couldn't imagine my life without you guys. I know right? Yeah He is allowed to do the Brittany Neal Yolo moving out of state Okay It's crazy, that's the biggest for me. Yeah I mean, I feel like I already shared, like, the most part. Yeah. Um, something does come to mind. I was talking to a friend yesterday. And she is a part of this work now. She's not a part of Gentle Warrior. Um, but she's been doing plant medicine and doing a lot of inner work and we've had some rocky times and using my tools and using her tools, like we have kind of turned over a new leaf in our friendship. And we've been like talking heart to heart and just having hard conversations in order to like rebuild this friendship. So anyway, we were talking yesterday and, um, I actually had said to her, like, okay, I might, I'm rewriting a story here. So. Like, I'm just going to tell you how I've been feeling. Like, let me know, you know, she calls me back and we're talking and she's like, Danielle, she's like, I'm not going to lie. Like when you, um, start, you know, went to Rhythmia and joined Gentle Warrior, like there was a part of me that like felt a little bit abandoned and felt like I was missing now. And like, now you have all these friends and she's like, but guess what? She's like, I get it now. Like, I get it. And she's like, I, I really did. I thought like, Oh, maybe she thinks she's too good for us now. And she's like, but I actually understand that it's not about me at all. And I'm so huge. And she's like, you have just been following your path. And things have been falling away, and it hasn't been intentional, and I'm like, That's so validating. Yes, scary. It hasn't been intentional, but it has at the same time, because I also love even just the little things that Taryn has been like, Okay, are you, like, Cleaning up your social media or like who you're following like all those little things like I'm not gonna lie. I exited a Group chat that I've been in for years. Yeah a couple months ago, and I was so nervous to do it Thinking I don't want all of these beautiful people that I love to think I'm like too good for them So it was like exactly what she said And I'm like, oh But you see now that literally it has nothing to do with anyone else, everything to do with me, and how like, having these little moments because we're being very intentional with our life of like, you know what? Like I love all these people, but I'm just cleaning up things because I have to make space for where I'm wanting to go. Yes. So it literally has nothing to do with these people, places, things that I've exited and everything to do with like, I've now learned I need to create space in my life to refill it with the things I'm headed towards. What did you just say that DG was, DG said, think of like what you're doing now is going to affect the person and then act like it, like, you know what I mean? Even though that was like, painful and I had fears, human fears of like, are they going to think this? And then I'm like, that's actually not what this is. And I'm just trying to create some space and clean out. Like I wasn't very, what's the word active in the group anyway. So that's literally all that it had to do with. So, um, And I also want to go deeper with the people that are in my life, and that'll give me an opportunity to go deeper with every one of them, too. So I don't know, they'll eventually come along. Yeah. If they want to, then they're ready, like you just experienced. She literally was like, I get it. And I'm so excited. Just like, I'm meeting all these new people, and I was just like, Yeah, I mean, and you've done it in so many other ways too. I mean, you went first, even in your marriage. That's what we talked about next. You went first. And as you went first, you kind of had these, I guess, just like people coming along. Oh yeah. Yeah. Like, is this the right, like, is this going to affect, and you can fill that in all day long with your fears. Cause she's experiencing that. And I literally was like, you just worry about what your heart is telling you and everything's going to fall into place. Like it literally will keep going. Yeah. I know. So good. I just had this like random, like really, this might get too far. Nothing's too far. Yeah. You think of like Jesus. Yeah. The catcher of men. So if you put yourself kind of in that same, like that's, you went first, you started doing the work, you started him and all these people just start to kind of come because it's good. It's yummy. It's, you know, this is like super far outside, you know, of what we typically talk about. But I mean, oftentimes like just reading like conversations with God and you know, the, Oh, gosh, I forget the kids. I mean, it's, we're all just, you know, human beings, like looking for a connection and we're human beings, like. Looking to be with others within like that heart space. Yeah. And as you started to do the work, look at the ripple effect that's followed just with friends, marriage and not even your kids yet. Well start starting there. one thing at Attack I know I mean, but even for you like, I mean, could you imagine the view like a year ago? Mm. Like, how different the conversations are. Oh my goodness. It's so crazy. Just kind of one thing. Yeah. Just changing trajectory. One thing. So, catcher of men, follower of cheaters. It's Sunday. We gotta say that. I love it. All right. Yeah. Like, maybe a little far out there, but. No, I love it. It's great. I do. I think the, the ripple effect is just like, I don't even think we understand like the depth, like our human mind can't even like comprehend the depth of the ripple effect that it's going to have. You know, well, and back to like your original question, then we went, so that's all right. I love it. I think we all can resonate with being scared to join a group like, Oh, totally. I get feeling intimidating and, um, I don't know. It's just wild. It's like, it's actually a whole group that's like, like has open arms ready. Yeah. And hold you through life. Yeah. And again, that's what we all need more of. And it's not taught to us. It's not, you know, we all were humans. Like we all, we do crave to be seen. We crave to be heard. And I think also 2020 did it to us. Heck yeah. Oh, yeah. It was a mental warfare. It still is. Yeah. It was like a shift. Yeah. It was. Yeah. Here we go. So true. Now I can't even, like, you know, stay in your house. If 2020 didn't wake you up, I don't know what will be lost cause. That'd be your room. And like, you know, it's why suicide and yeah, I mean, it just, the suicide rates for men have skyrocketed and all of that, like, Then, like all of us, all of us living through whatever we're carrying completely by ourselves. This is too much. Yeah. Shame. Like, in some of the things that are going on right now, like, you don't have to hide in your darkness. Yeah. And there's no shame where there's light. Once you bring it to light, like that just like, it's free. goes away. Because people love you, like, and you learn to love yourself. Well, it's that quote, um, shame dies when, when stories are told in safe places. Oh, love that. It's so real. Yeah. Like, and I, I'm not sure generations before us would even, really, and I'm not being No, like they just didn't know fully understand that statement. Yeah, like what it means. So true. Um, Deep. Well, it's, it's brief. Yeah, I go to hell out. Yeah, say things and so brief I mean I don't know. I just, I think that we're, we're lacking that so much. Yeah. And it's always like that hustle game, like that competition. It's like, you know, kind of deflecting. And comparing. Yeah. And shame. And it's just, I mean, it's just like this, um, domino effect. And it's in society right now. And again, with this container that Taryn has built and a fear could be, I don't want to join this group because competent, you know, feeling very competitive. I've been a very competitive person my whole life. To have his groundwork laid and to literally be in journey space and be like, What am I? I'm feeling something. My husband's like, you're jealous. I'm like, what? Don't say that. No I'm not. He's like, I don't feel it often, but I'm witnessing it. And to go and sit down and be like, what is? What is? Why do you feel competitive? Competition? Why do you feel when someone blossoms? That's not about the other person. It's about you and to actually dig into the core of that. Yeah, and for me, it's heavy though. It is heavy. This shit isn't really perfect. I really have to look there like, oops, I've been doing it wrong. Yeah. Well, that was a fun one. Like, oh, because, I need to play more. I need to live in my feminine more. I need to, these are all of the, I've created this very masculine. Check boxes every day and you could debate that like my life experiences gave that to me but I also latched on to that with my trauma and created that person and so Every time it's looking within ourselves and doing the work and going what is that about me? It's not about the other person Yeah, and so all of those things of why? you're fearful to do it and It's actually the reason. Yeah. It's so true. Yeah. You know. Yeah. Like, if you really dig into fear, like, we can just, like, keep going. Totally. It's so true. It just keeps going. Zard says, there's layers to this shit. Yeah. It just keeps going. Usually, it's about seven to ten layers deep. Usually, it's a wide, then you're like, okay. This started at this age, at this time, and when you're going through it, having the community to hold space, ask questions, to help you get to that root faster is certainly something that, I mean, while feeling the emotions as you go through it, typically when you get to the root is when you feel the emotions though, because then it hits you right in the heart space. Yeah. Oh shit. Yep. This is it. And that's why the year and a couple months of Gentle Warrior feels like lifetimes. Yeah. Yeah. A year ago yesterday. Yeah. A year ago yesterday, because we just keep changing and evolving, because You just keep going. Yeah. And it's usually the same stuff that keeps coming up, right? Yeah, it's just in a different Yeah, no, what are you talking about? It's not the same. Every single time. Hi, I'm again. We're on this merry go round and it's affected me in a different way this time. I saw a different perspective. I saw this spot instead of this spot on the merry go round. Amber's analogy. Me too. Best. She is. Oh. Analogies. Meme queen and analogies queen. She is. She does the whole damn thing, man. Like, you do all this work or whatever. Like, so for me it was like going to therapy. Yeah. And I say everything different. And then you walk upstairs and you look out a window at the same scene. And it's the same f ing scene. But it looks different. Yep. Yep. And you, you fine tuned in certain ways, and then you go upstairs to the next level, look down at it, and it all looks different, but it's the same scene, like that's what this is. It's so true. And so many facets. Yeah. Where I think we all can look back and go, holy shit. I've changed so much. Yeah, it's slow It doesn't feel like in the moment. It doesn't feel like it right and I think of this is so silly But I think of the Jack Johnson song of like we're better together Because it's true like we can only get so far if we don't have people holding space or being a mirror showing us our blind spots because we Do have blind spots and we don't grow without Having those people tell us and be willing to tell us and have a safe container where it is Like and if somebody's scared to jump in it's as simple as just taking the damn step Just do it and I like I'll be the I'll peg myself right now It's like I'm just guys when I'm in I'm fucking it. Yeah, I I actually have to learn how to Understand people that aren't yeah, because I it's just hardwired in me You And I've seen it in my own life and I've seen it, seen it in others. Every time I resist something. It's actually the number one thing I'm supposed to be doing. Yes. No. Yeah. So that's the like, that's the thing about joining Gentle Warrior. Yeah. Whatever calls to you. So many different, I don't know. Any, I don't know. Give me some more. Abundant tribe. I'm like, uh, what else? Oh, man. No. Just all of these. Like, if you're really nervous, that is kind of usually the right one. Yeah. It's because it's the good food. Yeah, you know, I was at the B1 conference and I can't remember who said it. I wish I could remember right now. He said, um, Oh, I can't think of his name. McManus. Is that his name? Um, he said, I used fear as the compass in the direction I should go. And I was like, done. That is it. That's it. Like, every time you feel fearful, that is the direction you should be headed. I think it's your soul. Yeah. Me too. For sure. And being like. Yeah. And if it keeps coming up. Oh yeah. And the fear is just the ego trying to keep you safe. But it's like your soul is like, no, no, no. We want to go that direction. Yeah. So good. I mean, and then there's been flip sides too, where. I'll get this like really strong feeling in my gut, like I shouldn't do something. Yeah. That's also like fear and I mean, I think the two kind of intertwine and it's just relying on yourself and trusting yourself. Yeah. Making it all somehow one, which has been my biggest grapple trying to integrate like That mind, body, spirit. So good. I have two more questions. I know. Um, so if somebody is listening and they're like, I, I want to do something like that, but I don't know, they don't have the finances or they don't have, what other community do you think they could find? Like if they're feeling like, Oh, I want to join gentle warrior, but I, it's not an option for me right now. Like, is there anything else that they could, for me, like, and Nick and I have said this, like I would go. Drive Uber or DoorDash if I had to, to pay for GentleWay or like that, but I've been in it and I've seen the results and like, I would do anything to be in it. Um, but I don't know if somebody is feeling like they can't join right now. What kind of actually you're doing it advice podcasts. Yeah, that's a good one. I think I had forgiven. Podcast. Yeah, that's a good one. Like I'd been in books, self development in books for so long, you know, and then I think you hit this point too, where you're like, Okay. I am outsourcing all of these, which I still love. Books and podcasts, of course. There like became a point where it was like, now I need to get in. I'm doing all this in my mind. Mm-Hmm. And now I need to like, I need that community. Get in and like do thing. Yeah. You know? Yeah. Um, but I don't know. That's a tough one.'cause I wanna I wanna go in the other direction. Yeah. Like, do whatever you do. How else does this show up in your life that finances are at. Well, I love that. Yeah. I, I want to go in that direction. Yeah. Of like, ask yourself those questions. Like, is this a pattern in your life? Yeah. Like, do you make excuses around anything else? People please mean, are you You know, are you taking care of others before you take care of yourself? Like what are the things you can sacrifice? Yeah, totally. Do you have to get your nails done every week? That's so true. You have to have those things. You know, like it's literally comes down to priorities. True. Yeah, it is. I looking at Bri, well you both know, I tell you. Sorry, Brit. Finances are probably one of my biggest triggers. Yeah. Look at the jam. Pedicure. that Yeah, I know. You'll, you know, so bad too. I feel like we can laugh for like. Probably 20 minutes on just the pedicure thing. So done. I'm getting so much better. You are. But also, it's because I have really put myself out of my comfort zone financially. Yeah. For things that I'm like, I actually really have checked in and been like, oh, like my heart is saying yes. Mm hmm. And my mind is like, you know, okay, I'm doing it. And then my mind's trying to catch up, but like, I've gone out on a limb and been like, okay, I'm going to, I'm going to sacrifice and I've had dreams about driving Uber. There you go. Yeah. And I just mentioned it. That's hilarious. I love that though. It's like telling people, like, if you really are questioning joining, like Dive into yourself. Like, why are you questioning? Get really curious. What can you give up? What can you because it uncomfortable? Yeah. It's so true. It's about being uncomfortable. Oh yeah. And I can also look back in all those instances that I was like, buckled off like, Holy shit. I'm really surprised myself. I surprised myself. Yeah. And it always works out. Yeah. Then I like one of my favorite mantras or affirmations that I actually say all the time is, um, I'm open to the highest good unfolding and I feel like that's what always happens to you. I love that. Like, be open to the highest good unfolding. Yeah. If you're having this like feeling inside, like listen to it. Yeah. I think that's great. It reminds me of the meme. Have you seen the meme of like, it shows Jesus and he's like holding a torch. Huge teddy bear behind his back and he's taking the little girl's teddy bear. And she's like really reluctant to give it up. But behind his back is like something even better for her. It's like, I know. Right. It's so true. It's so true. It's like letting go of that control to get what you. I know. I'm like, we probably shouldn't dive into that one. I'd be here all day. We all have that one. I think that comes with being a woman too sometimes. Oh yeah. We're just taught. So yeah, the society we grew up in for sure. You don't, you don't show emotions or you'll be too crazy. Yeah, it's so true. Too sensitive. Be the good girl. So many things. Oh yeah. I didn't need to watch the entire movie. That one part, I was like, literally that one part. Yeah, it's so true. The, the end where she talks to her, like she turns into a human, right. And she talks to the girl about like why she was even made. Oh, okay. It was like the very end. Yeah. It's like this whole speech and you're like, Yeah. Like how as a woman, we're just never good enough. Like we're either too skinny or too fat or too this or too that or too any, literally anything. Yeah. Not too much of a bitch. Yeah. Yeah. It just, there's never like a common ground that we can be. And tying it back to Gentle Warrior. Yeah. This is a space for us to play. Yeah, all of that. It's so true. And then be seen. Yeah, through it all is, I mean, we talk about this work, not being for the faint of heart, but also being a mom, a wife and, you know, living in society of today. Yeah. It's not easy. No, we do need that love. Unconditional love. It usually comes from other women because we're all in the same space. Being okay with talking. Oh, so good. It just goes back to what you're saying. Like we've lost that simplicity of like tribe of just holding each other because we've gotten so busy and so distracted in our modern life. I know that's true. Whoever they is, that's what they want. But yeah, distracted from the things that really matter. Yeah. And it's in our DNA to want that. Like we've had that at one point that like tribal, yeah. Oh, good. We weren't here to create Tesla's, but yeah, maybe we were, remind me of Jetson cars. We own one, so there you go. I love, I just love it. So funny. I mean, I'm a tech geek, so I like the tech stuff. It's still funny to me. Um, my last question, which we might have already touched on was just like, what do you feel like is the been been the biggest takeaway for like, when you joined Gentoyer or like, I mean, we're still in it, but what do you feel like? I know it's so hard to like. I don't even know if I could name like one thing, but I'm just curious if you guys have anything that has been like huge for you. Just the, just gratitude, gratitude for, I just, I don't feel like I'm walking in this by myself and lone wolf strategy. Great. Yeah. But it's so funny because before I joined, I did feel like I had good friends and did feel, I didn't feel this deep, like lacking, if that makes sense, until I gained it, until I gained this depth and this safety and this, and then it's like, Oh, I was lacking. So hindsight's always 20, 20, right? So it's like hard to. I don't know. See, and I'm different. I felt lacking. I felt it before. Yeah. Like I just felt like, and it was for a long time, where, which I don't feel like anymore. I don't want to go out drinking, and I don't want to. Bitch about my husband. Yeah. Didn't want those things. Those things happen. I know. I'm like, maybe that's the Midwestern us. I don't know. But like, that's a real common, yeah. Going out drinking, talking shit about your husband, about your husband, complaining about your life, you know, comparing yourself to other women, this, like the cattiness and stuff. I'm not saying that all my friendships were like that. No. Yeah. Um, it just, I felt this like deeper calling in my soul of somewhere. And I felt that from a very young age, that I'm just like, I just didn't feel like I, um, I belong. But you do now. I do now. Yeah, absolutely. And I didn't even feel that, you know, within my family structure, I always felt like I was kind of outside and, um, I don't feel that way anymore. So there was a point in my life, I think maybe for a long time, I just kind of, you know, That there was something else out there and that the breakaway was going to have to happen. And then when it did, it was, it was everything that I had ever, uh, so good. They can be checked. My blind spot. You're like, wait, maybe I did my grandmother. Um, she would always like. I was one of the ones that had the dark hair and the dark eyes. And a lot of my family members were kind of blue, blue eyes, blonde hair, like lighter other than the Italian side. Now the Italian side, they have darker features Duke. Um, but it was, she would always play with my hair and I could just tell that like, it's almost like she knew that I F I felt that way for a long time. So she was always very like, She didn't like coddle me because she was not a coddler. My, my grandma was the flip you off on the side of the highway. I can't even imagine that. I don't know where I got it from. So it was like, but she also had this like really soft side and I could kind of see just through to her soul that like, she might've felt this. So there was like this little bit of a push or this pull to like, she told me like when I went to college, she's like, go out there and do something. And I actually never went back to my hometown. Um, but I, like, I feel that spirit. From her, you know, inside of me to, to just, just be, just go do it. What was that? I'm like erase everything I said earlier. I did have great, I had great friends along the way, but I think it's more for me, it's like, You know that quote that says, um, people can only meet you as far as they've met themselves. It's like that. Yeah. Yeah. Does that make sense? Yeah. Can I flip that and apply it back to where I was at when I joined? You could only meet yourself where you were at. Like you didn't realize what you were missing until you got it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like, I also am with you and I think that anyone that is with It was what you explained in your song a session that like, I think we've all had some sacred moments of like, y'all are the, like, I'm the way shower. I'm the chosen one, you know? And maybe it's, I don't know. Yeah. It's, it's, it's a beautiful, it's so beautiful. Y'all just. Thanks to Taryn. Yeah, y'all, you know kind of got to the space but now that I have it I'm like, yeah I ain't never letting this go. Yeah I'm excited to go the last the last one. I was freaking nervous. Yeah, but this one I'm like Oh, well, whatever we do, it'll be, it'll be great because we're safe. Yeah. We just go without even knowing what I love that. She doesn't tell us. It's like, she doesn't know it's jumping off a fucking cliff. Cause I'm like, you know, I'm pregnant, I'm pregnant. Yeah, same. I feel like you have went and did that. I know. Go them. Oh shit. They're all on pedestals. I know. Same. Like you're amazing. I way true. You know, I might end up doing it'cause I am, you know, I have that little bit of that like competitiveness. I wanna do it if everybody else does it. Like yeah, I'm just gonna do it and then I'll be the one that will jump off first. Like, that's like,'cause I'm like, if I wait, I'm not, I'm gonna go. Yeah. Yeah. You know, I just have to go. But yeah. I mean, so I might do it. The heck of shit work is if you were there. We would all do it. We would all do it. You'll do it. That's the thing is like, if your friends jumped off a bridge, would you? If you guys did, I would. I'd trust it. You know, we'd do three ways. Like we'd jump all together. High five like in the middle. We'll help it. So what do you want? You to jump really far out or how far out? I keep kicking you. Thanks. Yeah. Cool. Thank you guys for what's your answer? Oh, question. Yeah, I was about to end it. Um, for me it's like, honestly, I credit Gentle Warrior and Taryn for where I'm at and like it's changed my life, Nick's life, my kids' life. Like we were talking about. It's been a total like trickle effect and like I, the biggest takeaway for me is I'm living authentically in who I am and not letting fear rule my life. It was ruling my life. I had didn't have. I didn't talk about anything I went through except with the therapist, like I was terrified of everything. I mean, you guys met me when I was at first joined, like I was scared. I was a little like scared, little like mouse. Like I didn't talk very much. I didn't, I don't know. So it's really just like helped me be authentic. And, like, genuine and not live from such a fearful face, which I'm just so thankful for.. I'm writing a blog and I'm scared shitless. Oh, I know. I'm scared every time I show up. Damn it. And then we'll get on calls and I'll call Dani afterwards and say, I feel like I shared too much. I got it. She what? No, never. Yeah. But it's that imposter syndrome. Yeah. But you're, I mean, you're out here killing it. Thank you. I love you. Also with like little old ladies coming up to me and like, I'm like, that makes my heart so happy. I'm like, this is amazing. That's so cute. What do I need to buy? I know. I know. These like self reflections. Yeah. Yeah. But I, I love it. I had actually an old man, like an older gentleman come up to me at the airport. I was wearing mine. He's like, what's heal yourself, heal the world mean? What do you think? Yeah. Yeah. And so we had this whole conversation. It was so beautiful.'cause he like started telling me stories about himself and I was just like, this is badass. Like that's what we need. Yes. That's what we need. Biggest conversation. Yes. People. That's my whole, like what I want out of it. It's so cool. Divided and folder. Yeah. It's just, it's like we're all after the same thing. We're all trying our best. We really are. And back to the full circle moment of like, being competitive and everything. What does it actually do when someone does something? Launches a podcast. Launches a vlog. It shows me. Holy shit. It pulls us up, right? Yeah. Yeah. Talk about your story. Yeah. And not be afraid to talk about it. I mean, there's so many people like, I mean, I'm sure that some of the stuff that I write, maybe some of the stuff that I'm even saying right now It might offend somebody. Yeah. It might trigger them. But that's their part. Yeah. That's their opportunity. Yeah. Everything's an opportunity. And themselves. Yeah. And that's what this community is about. Mm hmm. Like getting triggered. I love that. You know, like, and that's, that is the ripple. Yeah. And when I get fearful, that is what I remind myself. Like, this is not about me. It's about other people and how they can like heal or learn or whatever it helps them do, you know? And it's also like in the least way you expect it, the thing that you didn't think would be. Yeah. Yeah. Or like, you know. Yeah. Even me listening to some of your episodes and me hitting you up and being like, yeah, Ash, thank you for sharing. Yeah. It doesn't seem like a big deal to you, but that hit me in the heart and I needed that. Like it's those little moments. And the sentences, it can be one freaking sentence dude. Oh yeah. Yeah. Like one sentence. And, and you may not even listen to the whole podcast. Yeah. One sentence. Yeah. That you needed to listen to can change so many things. Yeah. Plan for a second. I do when I have to. Yeah, it's good. It's a good tool. It's groove. It's so good about even coming here and like, yeah, I mean, I did sit down and do a meditation, but it's a little different than it would have looked in the past. Oh, I'm sure. In the past, it was like, yeah. She would have had a lid on it. Yeah. Yeah, totally. I mean, you're flowing, girl. Yeah. So proud of you. No, you are. It's true. It's so good. I love it. Thank you guys. We could go all day. Yeah. Well, and three people that feel safe together and love each other. Right. Like, They probably listen to us laugh majority of the time. So join General Warrior. You get to solve this. Yeah. Seriously, I love you guys. Thank you so much for being here. Thank you. I'm proud of you guys. You're the best. The end Bye.

1:13:25

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