Pumping doesn’t have to suck. Sooner or later, most breastfeeding moms will need to pump. It can seem daunting and sometimes it is downright frustrating.
Today I am welcoming Tamari Jacob from One with the pump. Tamari is a certified lactation counselor, a former teacher and the mom of three who wants to empower parents during their pumping journey.
Join us as we dive into:
To learn more about Tamari, visit her:
For more information on flange sizing, read this blog post
Click here for information on how to combine breastmilk and formula
This week's episode was sponsored by Pippy Sips. Maia by Pippy Sips is an award-winning system for storing, monitoring, and keeping your breastmilk cold. It is perfect for every pumping mom - especially while pumping at work or traveling.
0:00
Pumping Tips for Breastfeeding Moms
Breastfeeding Support and Getting the Help You Deserve
Navigating Exclusively Pumping Challenges
Pumping Tips and Mom Support
Supportive Advocacy for Moms, Whether they are pumping moms or not
Connect with Erin:
Pumping doesn’t have to suck. Sooner or later, most breastfeeding moms will need to pump. It can seem daunting and sometimes it is downright frustrating.
Today I am welcoming Tamari Jacob from One with the pump. Tamari is a certified lactation counselor, a former teacher and the mom of three who wants to empower parents during their pumping journey.
Join us as we dive into:
To learn more about Tamari, visit her:
For more information on flange sizing, read this blog post
Click here for information on how to combine breastmilk and formula
This week's episode was sponsored by Pippy Sips. Maia by Pippy Sips is an award-winning system for storing, monitoring, and keeping your breastmilk cold. It is perfect for every pumping mom - especially while pumping at work or traveling.
0:00
Pumping Tips for Breastfeeding Moms
Breastfeeding Support and Getting the Help You Deserve
Navigating Exclusively Pumping Challenges
Pumping Tips and Mom Support
Supportive Advocacy for Moms, Whether they are pumping moms or not
Connect with Erin:
Pumping doesn't have to suck. Sooner or later, most breastfeeding moms will need to pump. It can seem daunting and sometimes it's downright frustrating. Today, I am welcoming Tamari from One with the Pump. Tamari is going to share tips on choosing the right pump, ways to make pumping more comfortable and tips to make pumping easier. Let's get pumped.
Speaker 1:Welcome to the Baby Food for Busy Moms podcast, where you will get the knowledge you need and the support you deserve so you can finally feel good about feeding your baby, whether you're breastfeeding, formula feeding or offering solids. I'm your host, erin Moore, a mom of two boys, a practicing pediatric nurse practitioner and a lactation counselor with years of experience helping moms feed their babies. Tune in each week for bite-sized, judgment-free education you can trust, all with a busy mom in mind. Before we start, this podcast does not provide medical advice. Information on the podcast is for educational purposes only and no information on the podcast or my website is intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. I am a pediatric nurse practitioner and a lactation counselor, but I am not your baby's NP or CLC. Please consult your pediatric provider for any questions.
Speaker 1:Today I am so excited to welcome Tamari from One With a Pump. As my guest, tamari, is a certified lactation counselor, a former teacher and the mom of three who wants to empower parents during their pumping journey. Thank you so much for coming on. So how I like to start is just tell me a little bit about yourself, your why behind One With A Pump, and just any background information you feel like is important to share.
Speaker 2:Okay, so, of course, thanks so much for having me. So my name is Tamari from One With A Pump. I am a lactation counselor specializing in pumping for all moms. So it's pumping for exclusively pumping moms and pumping for nursing moms which I think is so important to mention, because a lot of times when we say pumping, we think that we're talking only about, you know, exclusively pumping moms. But of course, you know, in these days and in general, nursing moms need to pump often as well. So I help moms, I help anyone that needs to pump. Well, so I help moms, I help anyone that needs to pump, pump. And the reason why I do that is because I feel like the way that all new things start is when you struggle yourself and you realize that it's a missing niche or missing market, and you wish that you didn't have to go through what you did.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:And that's how Women With A Pump was born as well. I was forced to do some pumping with my first child, had zero information and then I was like, well, other people probably shouldn't have to go through this and I am very proud to have become a resource that I wish I would have had when my child was born, but super thankful that I get to help moms hopefully not go through what I had to go through, so that is my long-winded.
Speaker 1:Why, right, but it's so important and that's kind of why I'm here too is because I felt like there was no information on combination feeding and I had to do it and I felt like I just had so many feelings surrounding it. And I feel like it's the same with you. And I actually found you because, even as a lactation professional, when I was choosing a pump for my second, I knew I had pumped with Max with my first, but I'm still like, oh, can I have a better pumping experience with my second? Because I know it's going to happen, I know I'm going to be working and can I make it better? And so I was looking at pumps and then I also wanted to be a better resource for parents.
Speaker 1:So that's how I found you, and I looked through like all of your pump just different, like pump overviews and other people talking about their experiences and it made my life so much easier. So thank you, thank you.
Speaker 2:I really appreciate that. Yeah, the biggest question that I always get is which pump should I get? Right, it's like the biggest question. I'm actually creating a quiz that, like is literally going to tell you, like you're going to put in, like what your needs are, and it's going to tell you literally what pump to get. Because it is the number one question that I get is what pump to get.
Speaker 2:And, yeah, I have the pumps that I love the most, but I love them the most for me and I love them the most for majority of moms. But, like there are, you know. Then other moms come and they're like well, I really need a wearable pump or I really need, you know, something that's really going to be able to work, and everyone just needs different things. So the goal that I try to do is I try to be able to reach moms wherever they're at, and every mom is somewhere else. You know every mom is wherever they are. They are, but everyone needs help in whatever stage they're in. So I just try to make my resources super available, like you'll hear in my reviews, where I'm like this is what works for the general, but you might be no, I'm sure you see it too. Everyone's just.
Speaker 1:Everyone has different needs, everyone has different babies, everyone has a different life, right, right, and I feel like I hear that a lot too and you can't necessarily, sometimes you can't anticipate what your needs are going to be. So do you have any suggestions for maybe like a first time mom, or even like a second time mom, where you're like I don't really know how pumping is going to fit into my journey, but it's probably going to be there somehow? So do you have any suggestions for sort of like narrowing that down, aside from your quiz, which sounds amazing, yeah?
Speaker 2:I think the biggest thing is trying to figure out what works for you, rather than just kind of going along with whatever your aunt tells you to get in the most wonderful way possible. Specifically for people who are parents, things have really, really really changed in the best way possible. Even when I had my son six years ago, the amount of information that is out now whether that's like information, online resources, pumps like six years ago there was like one or two pumps out, nothing great, nothing amazing. Now it's like for whatever it is that you need, there is something there. But the problem is is that when we are a first time mom, we do not trust ourselves at all.
Speaker 2:We don't trust our instinct, because you're a first time mom and we know that this is something new and we have no idea what it is. We don't trust ourselves, we don't trust our own instincts. So what do we do? We go to the people around us who have done it before and they must know. You know, they must be really good at it, but they might not really be very good at it.
Speaker 1:Right, you know, they might not really be very good at it.
Speaker 2:Right right, you know they might not actually be good at it. So we take the resources from other people and the best thing that you can do is really just try to figure out what's going to work for yourself, for your family, for your needs and, to be honest, like just be wary of who you're taking information from. It's not about an age thing. It's just about the people that are the most you know, equipped and up to date on current you know pumps and policies and things like that. You just want to be in the know about what's going to work for you right now. And my biggest thing is honestly being wary of taking information from someone that wants the best for you but just might not know.
Speaker 1:Right, yeah, absolutely.
Speaker 2:They don't even be babbling, they just they don't even know that they're not giving you the right info. They mean the best, but they don't know that. They just you know they tell you to buy a pump from insurance, and now it's a terrible pump, and now you don't have enough money to buy another pump.
Speaker 1:So now you're stepping with this pump and now Right, and, like you said before, the pumps that are available are so different and I had three years between my two kids, but even then I'm like, oh my gosh, I have a lot more options.
Speaker 1:Or at least maybe they were already there, but I didn't know how to look for them, so it's just really challenging. So when a mom is preparing prenatally, do you have any suggestions for what they should do for pumping, or if pumping is part of their journey? And then also, to make that question even longer, is there a time that you would recommend for a parent to start pumping?
Speaker 2:Yeah. So two things. Obviously, I'm going to use this time to let you know that I have a wonderful, amazing pumping course, but the biggest thing besides for my course, the biggest thing is education. It doesn't have to be from me, it needs to be from someone. Pumping is not natural. I know that we say that nursing and it's this. You know, age is old as time. I know I know Cool, cool. It is very natural. However, how to work your palm, what size phalanges you need, things like that. It actually is a natural.
Speaker 2:So, however, you're going to get information, I want you to get information. Find someone that you connect with. Again, it doesn't need to be me, I am a great resource, but there are other people out there. Find someone that you're like. I like the way that you teach, I like what you're saying and kind of get that info. So what you are looking for specifically regarding what prenatal information you want.
Speaker 2:Number one I always say to start after 30 weeks. You definitely can start before. The reason why I say not to start till 30 weeks is because I get nervous to tell someone to start at 15 weeks or 20 weeks or 25 weeks, just because we don't know what can happen, you know, obviously, like we don't want trauma and you know, but things can happen and I want someone to be as close as possible to their due date without actually by mistake giving birth and not having the information. So for me, like 30 weeks, like if you've gone, like you know, if you've gotten to 30 weeks now it's time that you definitely can do it. I'm not saying you can't start, like learning information in your 20th week ish, but you know, I just try to like lighten the load for parents or for, you know, future parents, beforehand, because we just want to make sure that things are going kind of how they can just, you know, make, just to be as sensitive as we possibly can. So, starting around 30 weeks, I as sensitive as we possibly can. So starting around 30 weeks, I tell moms, at that point you should kind of already know, or start looking for, what kind of education you want and the things that you're looking for. Mostly is you really want to know.
Speaker 2:Number one, like think about. When I say your plan, I mean that in the most loose way possible, because we all know that it's just a plan. Yes, yes, we all know that a plan is just a plan, so you can have an idea of what you want. It is good for you to have an idea and then try to get the information to make that idea pan out. So, like, if you're planning to nurse, find a lactation consultant in the area that you know that you can call.
Speaker 2:Once you have the baby, make sure that you know like what phalange size you need. Make sure like what phalanx size you need. Make sure you know what pump you have, how often you're supposed to be using it. If you want a formula feed, usually you can just start off. I mean, you're obviously more versed in this but like you can usually just start off with the regular formula. But, like, if you want to have information about what formula works best for your family, just having slight information, a lot of moms just go into it and kind of like, prepare their nursery and their nursery is gorgeous and they literally have no idea how to feed their baby. I mean, what do you think about that? Do you also see that they spend time doing other things?
Speaker 1:Yes, and, yes, you don't know what you don't know until you don't know it. And I would say, because I'm doing lactation visits in clinic and I can't tell you how many moms bring their pumps and they're like it's like fresh out, like never the box has never been open. So I'm, you know, taking off all the tape and stuff and then teaching them how to use it and while that's great, a lot of times you need to use it functionally before you anticipate that you have to use it. So do you advise that moms bring their pumps to their own hospital stay or their delivery, or is there a time that you recommend actually practicing the physical act of pumping? Or is it just like, if you end up needing it because maybe your baby isn't gaining weight or they're jaundiced, or you're triple feeding, anything like that yeah, good question. Or your triple feeding, anything like that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, good question. I mean I'm pretty sure like 100% of hospitals do I mean I shouldn't say 100%, maybe like 98% of hospitals are delivering babies to have a pump. I literally tell my mom that as they're being wheeled into the recovery room, she's already asked for a pump, reminding guys that, like we love our nurses and they're most likely incredibly understaffed so you might need to remind them more than once. It doesn't mean they're trying to be, you know, neglectful, they just like you have to ask them for a pump and sometimes you have to ask multiple times because they have multiple patients on their care. So it comes down to you, like, if you it comes down to you if you want to have to be on top of, like no longer, of not having to ask for a pump multiple times, is that going to stress you out?
Speaker 2:If that's not going to stress you out, like I never brought my pump with me because I knew that it was there, I was confident, like I knew the hospital, I knew the pump was going to be there and I kind of like left it, if you're kind of more of like a planned out personality and you really want everything with you, and like you've practiced this pump before and you like it and it's well, then you definitely can bring it. So my long-winded answer to say shortly no, you don't need to bring it. If you want to bring it because you feel more comfortable, you can, but no, you do not need to bring it.
Speaker 1:Right gets right. I feel like a lot of times parents ask me or like they think that the lactation consultant in the hospital will be the one. That's like helping them figure out how to do their pump, and while I do think that that's something that they can do, a lot of what they're learning in the hospital is like how do you actually get a baby to latch? And and like how do you actually get a baby to latch and how do you make it as comfortable as possible and how do you keep a sleepy baby awake. And I don't know if this is your experience too, but whenever I talk to moms, they might have lactation in the hospital, but a lot of times it's very short, or you get one session and I don't know. I just find that to be a little bit challenging too. So I feel like feeling empowered to learn about your pump before you actually need it can be something that provides you a peace of mind, and then, if you, do need to pump in the postpartum period like at the hospital.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I want to say something a little not controversial. Yeah, go ahead.
Speaker 1:I like controversial.
Speaker 2:And if I say it it on Instagram, I definitely get like a little bit of a. I get a lot of support and a lot of backlash at the same time. And here's what I say the hospital is not the Marriott and they do not care about your five stars. Yeah, the lactation consultants in the hospital have a job and that is and I say this with the most love I used to be a teacher, guys, I understand what it's like to be in a job where you do not get paid enough and you're understaffed and you're micromanaged Like I get it, and it's no blame towards that. But their goal is to get your baby fed and to get your baby on a piece of paper, having poked, having had a certain amount of ounces, being a certain color and certain weight, so that they can discharge you. That is the job of the nurse. Yes, their job is also to take care of you and whatever that means, and that's great. But the job of the nurse is to get the baby thin and to get you out in the two to three days that you are supposed to be out of bed. The job of the lactation consultant is to help you in that moment to meet that goal, to be able to think in the hospital A lactation consultant is.
Speaker 2:The hospital is not for long-term care. When I meet with a mom at three weeks, four weeks, postpartum and I say, have you seen anyone? They say in the hospital. I obviously don't say anything. I keep a poker face. What I do have is that lactation consultant is not. She's not there for you. She's there to help you for a five or maybe seven minutes, if you're lucky span. Put the baby on your breast, get the baby to latch. She leaves the baby never latches again. It's not what they're meant for and they don't really help.
Speaker 2:So all that to say, they mean super well, but you need to get a lactation consultant that you are hiring for yourself that will come to your home. If you want to do it on Zoom, you can, but that will come to your home, spend an hour with you, get to see what's going on, know your baby and be there for you, and then you could also follow up with her if you need. If it isn't working right, you ask for her again. And I will also just just finish that sentence by saying in my with my third baby I had the most wonderful.
Speaker 2:Her name was erica. I will never forget her. She was the most wonderful lactation consultant I ever had in the hospital. Truly, I was like I and I told her I was like. I've never seen a lactation consultant like you. Here you are, you are literally unbelievable and there are plenty of them that are, but most of them are there to kind of come in, do what they got to do and then leave. So all that to say please hire someone for yourself that will be there for you long term.
Speaker 1:And then do you see moms at a certain time, Like do you notice that they're reaching out for you with certain problems, or like are there any patterns that you see when people are finding you? Yeah, you're going to laugh.
Speaker 2:Moms book a consult. When they find me on Instagram, like I'm not kidding, like once they find me and I can't tell you how many moms they're like I wish I had just found you three months ago or one month ago or when I was prenatal. Like you know, we, all you know obviously I want to reach as many models as I possibly can. When moms do find me with whether it was a reshare or a mom or you know like you know, some lactation consultant in the hospital actually recommend me, which is great, that is when they usually book. I also see that some moms obviously follow me before booking. Of course, they'll wait till they're like in a lot of pain. They'll already have been in pain for multiple weeks, thinking that it's normal, thinking that they have to tolerate the pain, not realizing that you in fact do not need to tolerate pain. You actually can pump completely pain-free what you're doing, and a lot of moms will reach out to me for that. And a lot of moms will reach out to me when they are going back to work, because going back to work is a whole new. That's like nursing moms. It's like a whole new ball game.
Speaker 2:I also see probably a lot of moms that know you also, which are triple feeding moms, combo feeding moms, moms that are trying to nurse, and it isn't working. So triple feeding basically means that you are nursing, pumping and bottle feeding every feed. I basically call it hell on earth, because that's what it is. But moms that are trying to navigate like what should they pump, when should they nurse, when should they bottle feed? How long am I supposed to do that for?
Speaker 1:So those are like the main categories of why I want people, right, and all of that is so challenging to figure out, and especially when you don't have like, when you go to your pediatric provider and I can say this because this is what I do, right and they're like oh, you got a triple feed. Your baby isn't gaining weight, you got a triple feed. They, you got to triple feed, your baby isn't gaining weight, you got to triple feed. They need to start gaining weight. And then they're like but how? Or I've been in this, now what? Yeah, and I've been in this for two weeks and I'm triple feeding, and now I'm terrified because if I don't pump after this, is my milk supply going to go down Like all these?
Speaker 2:things, yeah. So I really really find that they're missing and I'm curious if you find this too. Is that when a pediatrician says, like you need to get formula or like you need a supplement, that is like the end of their sentence. They don't say, like you know, you have to get bottles, but then at the same time you should also be working with an ibclc and you should also be pumping to keep up your milk supply. They just say you need a and that is the end of the scent, and that can sometimes be the end of their journey.
Speaker 1:Right. I'm very lucky to work in a clinic where the pediatric providers are very pro whatever mom wants.
Speaker 1:And they know the right resources to give them. And then, of course, then I'm actually working in clinic too, and then I do this for my business on the side, for people that are not going to my clinic. But it's just like I do see that cycle and then getting in there and then talking to moms who are like three months in and they're like I'm triple feeding and it's sustainable until it's not. And usually the first thing to go is like the maternal mental health and and we were laughing earlier because I feel like every conversation that I have with every professional it ends up talking about maternal mental health but that cycle, that triple feeding cycle, can definitely get really just just, it just wears on you yeah absolutely, it's triple feeding.
Speaker 2:It should not be done for more than a few weeks or a mom will lose her mind. It's only a matter of time, right right, right.
Speaker 1:So when do you see people or when do you see moms reaching out to you for like, exclusive pumping? So when do you find that some people go into their feeding journeys and they're like this is what I want to do, or does it happen at a certain time? And then what advice do you give them?
Speaker 2:So I would say that 20% of the exclusively public mom that comes to me have chosen it. People choose exclusively pump because number one if they're like a very type A you know planned out personality when you're nursing, you literally have no idea how much your baby's getting how often, and some moms simply cannot handle that, literally. I just hung out with a friend this morning who was like you know that I exclusively pump, right, and I was like no, because we were adult friends. And she was like, yeah, I cannot handle not knowing what was in the box.
Speaker 2:Right, right you know which happens, especially like you what was in the box, right, right, you know which, which happens, especially like you know. This mom went through IVF. So, like when you have so much uncertainty and things like that, like I definitely can see that mom felt, like you know, things just didn't go as planned, whether it was a scary pregnancy, I find those moms in particular choose to pump because they need to be in control of something, right, you know, they need to have that sense of control. Sometimes in general, just like, don't find joy in nursing. They just simply. But they want their baby to have the nutrients of breast milk. So I think that 20% of the 100% of exclusively pumping moms the other 80% were forced into it. So majority of them had a it's similar to me had a goal and a dream to nurse and it simply just didn't work out. Some of them it doesn't work from day one.
Speaker 2:Some of them triple feed I had a mom yesterday told me she triple fed for six months until she went to exudate pumping and I was like, why did you? Yeah, you know, like, but again, like, obviously I was supportive. I didn't actually say that to her right, um, and like, you know a lot of that's what happens, like you want to hold on so badly and listen. If it works for her, it works for her, you know you do you. But whatever works for you is fine. It wouldn't work for me, but you know it works for her and that's totally fine. But the biggest, the biggest reason why moms are exclusively pumped is that they were forced into it. That's, yeah, that's like the main reason. Like a lot of times there's a lot of grief and sometimes trauma and like other things that kind of come with it, but a majority of moms will come to eat, you know, not having chips in it.
Speaker 1:Right. And if you find a mom who is just pumping right so it doesn't have to be exclusive pumping, but just needing to pump what are the things that they can do to make pumping a little bit more comfortable? Or if they're like I know I talked to a lot of moms who are just like I hate pumping and, yeah, some people like it, some people are like the type A people and they're like I like to know exactly. I like to know those numbers. That's why I like formula with Max, because I knew that every time I was giving him an ounce he was getting 20 calories. So it took stress off me, but then anyway. So the question is is how can we make pumping more comfortable, whether parents love it or don't love it, but are forced to do that?
Speaker 2:Yeah, a lot of people hate pumping. You know people ask me. They're like do you love to pump? I'm like, no, no, I don't love to pump. I am passionate about helping mothers. I love to pump but I love making your life easier. You know, that is what I love to do.
Speaker 2:And the biggest two things I will say for a successful pumping journey whether that's a physical successful pumping journey or a mental and emotional one is to have the right stuff, that is, the right actual information or the right physical stuff. And I know that, like you know, I sound like a broken record sometimes on my Instagram where I'm like you need to know what you're doing. You need to know what you're doing. And that's because when I have a mom that's winging it and you're just getting you know, like information off Instagram or from other people, this, that the amount of stress that that adds to a mom, getting all this input, all this information and not knowing who to listen to, really causes so much stress. But if you know what you're doing and then we bring it to the other side of like physically having the right stuff.
Speaker 2:So that mom that you said that hate pumping, I'm curious what pump she's using. Is she using a pump that is comfortable for her? Is she using the correct phalange side, you know? Is she storing her milk correctly after? Like, listen, I never promised to make anyone love pumping, but there are things to make it easier. I have, like one of those big like pillows that go behind my back. That like makes me feel more comfortable. I always say and I say this all, I literally say this all the time but, like, my goal is to have you pumping with a snack in front of the TV.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:I want you to see pumping as like a, like he's out, like you, take the the kids, I'm going upstairs to watch my show and pump, like that's what I'm doing. If you kind of can think of it like that, it's like a break for yourself. It's not always going to be a break, but I definitely am like sorry, sweetie, husband, take the kids, I'm going upstairs to pump, like this is what I'm contributing to this family, and for the next 30 minutes you're contributing by taking those children somewhere. So right, that's kind of how I look at it. So I don't know, maybe I do love pumping, or maybe I love to sit alone in a room watching Grey's Anatomy.
Speaker 1:Who knows? That's amazing. That's amazing. And yes, I think that having the right stuff and I say this sometimes well, I don't know, I've never said it on the podcast, but I have scars from pumping with Max yeah, I have permanent scars on my breast because I was using the wrong size flanges. But you know, I delivered in January of 2020. We didn't have a lot of support. I knew. I knew that I needed to be fit and I knew mine were too large, but I got the right sizes.
Speaker 1:And then I'm like, oh, but I don't feel like they're pulling as much milk, and so I'm just like, okay, I'm just going to suffer through using a 28 when I don't need to do it. And, and then I started getting permanent scars and I, well, I started getting like eczema, and then now they're now they're permanent scars, and and I'm like, why did I do that to myself? So then, my second time around, I'm like I will get something, and I will get something that's more comfortable and it was just overall, pumping was just so much better and I gave myself a little bit of grace when it came to pumping. Do you find that there are universal tips that you can have to make pumping comfortable or like certain I don't know if it's products or certain inserts or anything like that that you're like. Oh, a lot of moms find this better than like the hard shell flanges, or maybe the hard shell flanges are fine.
Speaker 2:So, ironically, like I happen to love hard plastic phalanges, how do you? Yeah, silicone is all the trend. Silicone caused me so much nipple damage. If you have something called elastic nipples and you could look on my page for more information on this you need to have silicone phalanges. But if you don't and I don't it is so painful, oh my God, that was like a torture, like using silicone ph pelagic, like I equate it to torture for me, but for other people that, like they love it, they literally cannot empty without it.
Speaker 2:So the biggest thing that I find makes things more comfortable is coconut oil. Okay, so I call it pumping lube, because obviously I want to call it pumping lube. Yeah, coconut oil, you can also use olive oil, but I like coconut oil because it's like a bomb and it doesn't get like everywhere, unless it's in the sun, that it turns to liquid. I put it in a salad dressing container and then I keep it like with my pump at all times and every time, right before I pump, you take a little bit, put it on your nipple. Some people put on the flag. I like to put it directly on my nipple and they can pump with it and it literally acts like lube.
Speaker 2:I mean, we don't want dry sex. We don't want dry sex, we don't want dry pumping. So it is the same thing over there. You know what I'm saying. But when you're done pumping, you are going to be an oily and milky mess. So you're definitely going to want to have a diaper cloth or something near you just to wipe it off, and you're also going to have to change your bra very often because your bra gets full of oil. It's like a whole mess. Pumping is like a whole mess.
Speaker 1:Right, right, a whole. It's like a whole mess. Pumping is like a whole mess, right, right, right. It's definitely like the pumping. Lula coconut oil is completely game changer. I could not pump without, it's true. And then, when it comes to like the other part of pumping, which is like the thing that I hated the most, I could actually pump and pumping's fine.
Speaker 1:What I hated was washing all the pump parts and it's like the end of the day and baby has gone to bed or whatever, you finally just want to relax and then you're like, oh my gosh, I have this like entire huge container of pump parts and I know it's not my responsibility my total responsibility to wash all that. But let's be honest, it often falls on the mom to do that. So any tips for making that more bearable?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I actually definitely have tips. Number one my biggest tip, is to get treat yourself to enough parts that you have enough to go throughout the day and then, at the end of the day, load the dishwasher, put everything on the top rack. I get these dishwasher baskets for like the small little parts. The civil night I would load the dishwasher which, by the way, is also annoying, but not nearly as annoying as washing them right. Sometimes, if I was really on top of my game, I would load it throughout the day, but like that didn't always happen, I remember my husband with that was like, why don't you just like, put it in throughout the day? And I was leave me alone, leave me alone, yes, yes yes, why don't you do it?
Speaker 2:yeah, um, but like once I finally listened to him I realized that was correct. Yeah, when I was done I would just, like you know, put the milk wherever it needs to be, rinse it, stick it in the top rack of the dishwasher. At the end of the day I would use regular dishwasher pods, regular food things at the bottom, wash it and then the next morning I would have one extra clean set, take that upstairs for my night pump and then the next morning everything was clean. No, it wasn't always dry. I would kind of just like shake it off and do the best that I can. That's the first option. Number two you also, if you don't have a dishwasher, you can get a countertop dishwasher. I have one on my Amazon I think it's under cleaning or something that literally takes countertop dishwasher to washer parts. You can I countertop dishwasher to washer parts. I think it was like two something which obviously is not no money, but sometimes people like if you want to treat yourself, go for it.
Speaker 2:The third option is when your spouse or your partner asks you for how they can help you, you can say this is your responsibility. You can just say I'm the one pumping. Throughout the day I'm dealing with it. Even with the most helpful partners, the person that gave birth, and especially if you're pumping, is obviously the most involved. So if you're looking, if your spouse is looking for to help you and like or they're not, but you want them to help you, open up your mouth and tell them.
Speaker 2:These are the two things that I need you to take care of for me. Number one see all the pump parts in the sink. I need them washed throughout the day and them dry. Number two I need to be fed. I need you to make sure that I am fed. Those are like the top two things that like if other people are looking to help you, whether your mom's coming over, your mother-in-law's coming over, and they're like, oh, let me, you want to help me? There's a sink full of pump parts and I'm starving. That is how you can help me, and I know we're, like, always afraid of asking for things. Do not be afraid to ask for things. Those are two really helpful things for any postpartum mom to take off of their plate.
Speaker 1:Yes, I love that, and I think people want to help, but they don't know how to help Exactly.
Speaker 2:They just say let me know what to do, and that's another thing for us to think about. I don't know how to help I don't know what I need, I just told you guys.
Speaker 1:Right, right, right, right, yes, yes, yes. I love that, I love that and I feel like the responsibility falls onto mom all the time and I'm like it is not a mom job to feed a baby right. It's everyone's job. It's everybody's job to make sure that a baby is fed. So I really appreciate that and, as we're wrapping up, is there any piece of advice that you'd give mom when things are just feeling really hard or very heavy in those first years or two, especially because you have three right?
Speaker 2:I have three children under six.
Speaker 1:And let me tell you.
Speaker 2:I know like I had my first and then we took a two and a half year break and then I had my daughter was born March 2020. Explanation not necessary it was the height of the pandemic I know you experienced in January 2020. And then I found that I was nine weeks pregnant with my son, when my daughter was 10 months old.
Speaker 1:So I was like oh, okay.
Speaker 2:Guess the mini veil didn't work. Yeah, so I will say two things. Number being um is really, really hard, and I will say this candidly because I don't need to defend my love for my children. I love my kids, blah, blah, blah. And being a mom is really hard and I don't want to be with them 24-7.
Speaker 2:And I need to have a break often and I cannot like kudos to the stay-at-home moms. I physically cannot like, I cannot be with my kids every minute. I truly need a break from them and I don't need to have a disclaimer to now be like Ben, I love them Guys, I love them Right, right, right, like they're fine, they're great, they're loved, fed, taken care of, dressed to the T. They are totally fine and I don't want to be with them every minute. Right, and I personally I know people like lose their minds when they hear that I do this. Twice a year I take a solo vacation literally for one night. I do mani-pedi massage, I usually see a movie, I usually go to a restaurant by myself, no phone, I literally take a book with me, go to a hotel, sleep over overnight. The next day I get up, I get myself breakfast, maybe, do like one more thing shopping and then I go home. I take 24 hour reset twice a year. That saves everyone.
Speaker 2:It saves me but it also saves everyone else, because it makes everyone else around me happy, right, right.
Speaker 1:I've done it one time but it was literally because I was like having mental breakdown because I was not sleeping enough and I'm like I just need one night to myself that I can guarantee that I'm not going to have a child. You know, waking me up in the middle of the night and it was like fabulous, and I keep saying, oh, I'm going to schedule that again, I'm going to schedule that again, and then it doesn't happen. So I'm like let's be the change, right, right?
Speaker 2:Like I, literally like my husband now knows like I do it every July and every January, and even so much so that I tell my kids mommy's going on her solo vacation, because it's very important for mommies to take care of themselves, because when mommy takes care of herself, I'm able to take better care of you. I really tell that to my child because I also want him to know that his future partner also deserves a break.
Speaker 2:Right, for sure To be encouraging of that, because like this is, you know, this is normal and this is what us, as moms, need. And I know a lot of times moms will be like they feel like they're a failure if they aren't able to be with their kids. No, no, everyone needs to reset, Everyone needs to recharge, and you are doing a better service to yourself and your family by taking care of yourself, so it needs to be top priority, as much as your kids' doctor's appointment. Mommy needs her own appointment.
Speaker 1:Right, I love that. I love that. Now I'm like I'm going to do it, I'm going to snuggle it, let's go.
Speaker 2:Depends on something. Get yourself on the side, maddie Patty. Like, do it, girl. Whatever makes you happy, you just need to do it. And like, put your phone away most of the day. Also, like do not be on your phone, because if you're on your phone the whole time, no, you're, you're fine. Like everyone is fine if it's someone desperately needs you. Like I don't think you have to turn it off. But like, put your phone away. You don't need to be scrolling on the screen. That is not relaxing.
Speaker 1:I know, yes, yes, yes. So how can people connect with you if they want to reach out, learn more about, or if they just, like I, like you, you're fun to watch. So so I want to thank you, we're a good time.
Speaker 2:So I'm at what with a pump on literally every handle. We have a really good time on Instagram. It's kind of a mix of pumping and being a toddler mom. We do like lots of not like the good toddler mom where you like do pictures, activities. No, it's like my child is sleeping on an air mattress right over there because he was climbing out of his crib and we didn't have a mattress, that kind of stuff. Yeah, I mean we're on Instagram just for like a good time. And then, if you're looking specifically for resources like a consult, a course, you can find me at onewiththepumpcom for all of the info.
Speaker 2:You truly do not want to be pumping alone, pumping in pain, that feeling of overwhelm and disconnect from everything that you're doing in your journey. You don't need to live that way for 10 months. You truly don't. You are able to be in control, You're able to know what you're doing and I always say like you know, we go out to lunch and we drop X amount of dollars and like we leave and we're still overwhelmed. You can take that and you can have ease in your day and ease like you're going to pump 500 more times before the end of your journey and you don't need to be pumping in pain. So come on over to One With A Pump and I would love to help you out with whatever it is, whether you're exclusively pumping, nursing, just want to hang out. We have tons of non-pubbing moms in my bed just for a good time. So we have a good time.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so I will link everything below your website and your socials and yeah, I really appreciate you coming on and all of your flexibility, because we've had to reschedule a couple of times because of my non-project but yeah, I appreciate you and all the help you're giving to moms during this, you know, period of hey. Maybe I didn't choose this for myself, or maybe I did, but I definitely could use some support.
Speaker 2:Yeah, thank you so much for having me. I always love following. I always love to see what you're putting out. I love advocacy just for moms, no matter what way they're feeding and living their life. So it was awesome to connect and thank you so much for having me. Yeah, thanks again.
Speaker 1:Hey Mama, I hope you loved this bite-sized episode. This podcast is powered by your reviews, ratings and shares. It helps other mamas find the show so they can finally feel good about feeding their baby, just like you do. Make sure to subscribe so you don't miss an episode. Need personalized feeding help for your baby's unique situation? Let's work together with a one-on-one consult. I can't wait to meet you. Until then, happy eating.