Have you ever felt the sting of being the reliable one, the steady hand that's rarely celebrated? That's a pang I know all too well, and it's why the Parable of the Prodigal Son strikes such a chord in my heart. Our latest episode peels back the layers of this age-old story, revealing its deep insights into mercy, forgiveness, and divine grace. Join us as we traverse the complex dynamics playing out within the so-called functional family and the silent battles of those who, like the elder son, adhere to the straight path yet often feel overlooked. It's a journey through the nuances of relationships, recognition, and the need for understanding that universally resonates.
Family—a word that conjures both warmth and complexity. This episode doesn't shy away from the intricacies of the ties that bind us. We delve into the paradox of family love: a blend of profound forgiveness juxtaposed with the pain of deep-rooted grievances. Highlighted by insights from a Danish study on vacationing with in-laws, we explore the delicate dance of cohabitation and the critical role of open dialogue in navigating the coexistence of diverse beliefs and cultures within our own walls. Echoing the father's unconditional love from the biblical narrative, this conversation is an invitation to reflect on the immeasurable value of our familial bonds and how they shape our capacity for harmony in the wider world.
Have you ever felt the sting of being the reliable one, the steady hand that's rarely celebrated? That's a pang I know all too well, and it's why the Parable of the Prodigal Son strikes such a chord in my heart. Our latest episode peels back the layers of this age-old story, revealing its deep insights into mercy, forgiveness, and divine grace. Join us as we traverse the complex dynamics playing out within the so-called functional family and the silent battles of those who, like the elder son, adhere to the straight path yet often feel overlooked. It's a journey through the nuances of relationships, recognition, and the need for understanding that universally resonates.
Family—a word that conjures both warmth and complexity. This episode doesn't shy away from the intricacies of the ties that bind us. We delve into the paradox of family love: a blend of profound forgiveness juxtaposed with the pain of deep-rooted grievances. Highlighted by insights from a Danish study on vacationing with in-laws, we explore the delicate dance of cohabitation and the critical role of open dialogue in navigating the coexistence of diverse beliefs and cultures within our own walls. Echoing the father's unconditional love from the biblical narrative, this conversation is an invitation to reflect on the immeasurable value of our familial bonds and how they shape our capacity for harmony in the wider world.
The parable of the prodigal son is one of the most well-known stories in the Bible. The most common title focuses on the lost son, but the parable likely had even more to say about the religious leaders whom Jesus addressed when he told it. They probably understood that the faithful son represented them. Just as they were displeased that Jesus associated with tax collectors and sinners, the other son was upset that his father celebrated the return of the lost son. The challenge for us today remains the same how do we react when God shouts surprising kindness and grace to those we don't think deserve it? In other words, who is God especially generous towards today? Here is the actual text from the Gospel of Luke, chapter 15, verses 11 to 32. Jesus said A man had two sons. The younger one said to his father Father, give me my share of the estate. So he divided his property between them. Not longer after that, the younger son got together all he had set off for a distant country and there squandered his wealth in wild living. After he had spent everything, there was a severe famine in that whole country and he began to be in need. So he went and hired himself out to a citizen of that country who sent him to his fields to feed pigs. He longed to fill his stomach with the pods and the pigs were eating, but no one gave him anything. When he came to his senses he said how many of my father's hired servants have food to spare and here I am starving to death? I will set out and go back to my father and say to him Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son. Make me like one of your hired servants. So he got up and went to his father. But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him. He ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him. The son said Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son. But the father said to his servants Quick, bring the best robe and put it on him, put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet, bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let's have a feast and celebrate, for this son of mine was dead and he is alive again. He was lost and is found. So they began to celebrate. Meanwhile, the older son was in the field. When he came near the house he heard music and dancing, so he called one of the servants and asked him what was going on. Your brother has come, he replied, and your father has killed the fat-necked calf because he has him back safe and sound. The older brother became angry and refused to go in.
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This parable provides much for us to reflect on regarding mercy, forgiveness and how we respond to God's love for all people, regardless of deserving or undeserving. But there is also an alternative way to see it, and the alternative way is a bit more honest in my opinion, but it has the same set of values and the same conclusion. Let me tell you about this. Since I am an older sister myself, I have often read the Bible text with very different lenses than what is described in the general interpretation of the text. In fact, I have been provoked by the prodigal son who squanders all his money and betrays his parents. When he returns, he is met with open arms.
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When I was young and read the text, I became angry because I was a good girl myself and I didn't like it when troublemakers in class received all the attention. Since my mental health problems started in that time I struggled with the feeling of being overlooked. At school I did my job and got good grades. I was a proper student, but no one asked me if I was okay. In youth school I grappled with loneliness and exclusion and it was the start of my mental disorder. But these issues were completely invincible to everyone except me. This was often the case in Norway in the 90s. As long as you excelled in school and life, it seemed like you were doing fine. I would often envy the rowdy boys in class. They got all the attention and care. I was just diligent and received praise, but no care or love from the teachers. No one came to me and asked why I always walked alone during recess and how some of the students could sometimes bother me. After all, I was so diligent and conscientious no problems in the horizon. When I heard about the Bible verse, I became angry at the younger brother. He got all the attention, while the diligent older brother was overlooked. So when I heard an alternative interpretation of the text, I was so happy. It was during a church service a few years ago and it left an impression that I still carry with me. The priest read the Bible verse aloud and then set the Bible aside. Looking out over the congregation, he said I don't want to preach about the father's love for his prodigal son, but rather about the lack of love from the older brother.
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Sometimes it's difficult to be a family. We often talk about families as either dysfunctional or functional. Dysfunctional families require assistance from child welfare services and social services, and ideally, none of us want to associate ourselves with this issue. Those who don't fall deeply into dysfunction are considered functional families and everything is supposed to be fine and lovely. We speak of family as something beautiful and inclusive. When we gather, we're supposed to have a pleasant time together. There is really no nuances to that kind of talk.
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However, even so-called functional families can sometimes experience difficulties. It doesn't mean that the family is bad or something. It's just life. You see, living together across differing different opinions, challenges and life experiences can actually be tough. Meeting people we are close to, especially if we have different personalities and live different lives, can be really demanding.
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Yes, there is an invincible bond that holds us together, a bond that says love endures all. That's why we stick together as a family, no matter what. We cut off contact with friends much more quickly if they betray us. Family members have a unique place in our lives and they can hurt us much more because we forgive them more easily. This also makes it challenges for us to coexist as a family. It's not easy and we should talk about it more often. And there is another aspect in-laws. A Danish study explored people's attitudes toward whom they prefer to go on vacation with. The majority in this study pointed to their in-laws as the least preferred travel companions. This is indeed an under-discussed topic. Many find it exhausting to spend holidays with parents and in-laws, especially in-laws.
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I believe that love for family members is strong and essential, but sometimes we need to discuss why it's difficult to be a family. It would be strange if it weren't challenging. After all, we live closely together for an entire life. Let's live more authentically and talk about what's difficult. It's possible to love our families and still dare to say that life in a family can be hard.
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Sometimes it doesn't make your family dysfunctional either. Maybe it just makes your family normal. After all, we love despite all the flaws and imperfections. We're generous like that, and perhaps all these difficult emotions and experiences within a family are a crucial reminder that as humans, we often find it challenging to live side by side across politics, religion and national borders. In the worst cases, we even wage war against each other. Maybe the Bible verse is still a reminder that we all play the role of the older brother in the story at times, but we must strive to be like the father. Demonstrating unconditional love for one another, as Jesus taught us, is incredibly difficult in certain contexts. All we can do is pray to Jesus and ask for strength to manage it from time to time.
