Today, I’m talking about how to handle the pressure midlife brings to figure out where you’ll find meaning and purpose in the second half of life.
The search for an answer to the nagging question of what will bring life meaning after the years you spent growing and building. Years when meaning seemed naturally built into every moment.
You want to know that where you spend your time – now that you have more of it – and who you spend it with will make a difference. That what you choose to put on your new to-do list still matters.
Whether you’re stepping into your next season feeling energized with dozens of ideas or dreadfully uninspired about how you’d like to spend your time, I have good news for you.
The meaning you’re searching for is closer than you think. And there’s no to-do list required.
Find the full transcript for this episode and other resources for navigating midlife at BloomingintheMiddle.com/4
Jody Cates helps women in midlife dream into a new future, age with confidence, and grow satisfying relationships with their adult kids, parents, and partner. For step-by-step support, apply for Jody's Blooming in the Middle Personalized Program here, and she'll be in touch to invite you to a discovery call.
Or if your beliefs about midlife are holding you back from stepping into your next chapter, grab a Master Midlife Mindsets session with Jody here to turn negative thoughts into positive action.
Today I’m talking about how to handle the pressure midlife brings to figure out where you’ll find meaning and purpose in the second half of life.
The search for an answer to the nagging question of what will bring life meaning after the years you spent growing and building. Years when meaning seemed naturally built into every moment.
You want to know that where you spend your time – now that you have more of it – and who you spend it with will make a difference. That what you choose to put on your new to-do list still matters.
Whether you’re stepping into your next season feeling energized with dozens of ideas or dreadfully uninspired about how you’d like to spend your time, I have good news for you.
The meaning you’re searching for is closer than you think. And there’s no to-do list required.
Find the full transcript for this episode and other resources for navigating midlife at BloomingintheMiddle.com/4
The Old Way of Making Life Meaningful.
I lived the first half of my life with an urgent call to action. Seize the day! Carpe diem! Don’t let a moment slip by without using it for something important! It was a lifestyle that served me well.
And with voices buzzing all around me at midlife saying, “Do something that will last! Don’t waste your time. Stay busy!” it seemed only natural to bring that thinking into my second half.
I was determined to make my second half matter.
So, I kept doing what I’d always done. I filled up my to-do list with things that seemed important.
At least they seemed important according to what others were doing and what the proverbial “they” said I should be doing, too.
I took classes, volunteered, and received countless invitations to play pickleball. I traveled to see old friends and checked dream destinations off my bucket list.
Along the way, I expected to uncover a new sense of meaning and purpose.
I got a library card and started reading a book every week. I joined a book club, made new friends, planted a garden, and took long walks with my dog Scout.
And still, I searched and waited for that spark of inspiration to take hold.
I packed up the house where I’d raised my kids for 25 years. Cleared away a lifetime of clutter and sold more things than I can count on Facebook Marketplace. I downsized to a townhome near the beach – something I’ve always dreamed of doing.
I thought surely I’d discover my new purpose and deeper meaning after I got settled.
But the “why” that used to drive me every day – just wasn’t showing up.
All my busy doing with the overflowing calendar, the big projects and long to-do lists that once gave me a sense of purpose was only making me feel empty and exhausted.
Have you found yourself wondering why staying busy isn’t filling you up?
What Should Go on Your Second-Half To-Do List?
It’s only natural that after your family is raised, your career established, and everything in life has changed…you’re left wondering: “What matters most now? “How can I find meaning in this moment of life?” “What should go on my new to-do list?”
I’ve been making lists since I was old enough to scribble, so I understand the appeal. I’ve even been known to make a list of things I’ve already done just so I can check them off!
If you’re a list maker like me, you get it. You know the rush of accomplishment a completed to-do list brings.
And maybe, like me, you have the heart of a “doer.” You know this because of the satisfaction you feel at the end of the day when you’ve created or accomplished something. You feel useful, and feeling useful feels good.
Plus, not only does finding and fulfilling your purpose give life meaning, but it also helps you feel God’s pleasure as you use the gifts he’s given you.
So, it’s safe to say that your search for meaning in midlife is a healthy goal.
It’s a reflection of your desire to keep using the gifts and talents you’ve been given to accomplish the things you were put on this Earth to do.
Especially now when you have more time, wisdom and experience to spend and share with others.
You’re not ready to stop working and creating. But something fundamental is changing about what inspires and motivates you to act.
Here’s what I’ve learned:
Adding More to Your Mid-Life To-Do List Isn’t the Answer.
God wants to multiply your joy. Surprisingly, He does this when you take a break from all your planning, making, and doing.
The secret to finding more meaning in midlife isn’t doing more. It’s doing less and noticing more.
When you stop scrambling to find meaning in all you're doing, when you slow down and breathe in the life happening all around you, you’ll start noticing the extraordinary meaning wrapped in the simple everyday moments right in front of you.
There’s no better time than midlife to get intentional about noticing especially three kinds of meaning-filled moments.
1. The with-God moments.
These are the times when it seems like the curtain between you and heaven is drawn back, and you get a glimmer of awe and wonder.
It can happen on mountaintops or while standing over the kitchen sink.
Something in your heart responds to an unseen invitation, and you feel drawn into God’s presence. Time seems to stand still.
Where were you the last time you were filled with awe and wonder?
2. The moments spent with others.
What a gift you have in the second half of life to invest more of yourself in others. Not just hours occupying the same space, but time spent listening hard to the hearts of those you care about.
When you reach outside yourself and across the barrier that says, “Keep to yourself. Mind your own business,” you’ll experience moments of connection that endure beyond time and to-do lists.
Who is someone you’d like to spend unhurried time with today?
3. The solitary moments.
These are the sweet moments of solitude and silence. Time to be still and believe that even though the first season of life – with all its building, working and growing – is behind you, the present moments still matter.
In all your un-doneness and time of transition.
Don’t wait until you’ve figured out what you should be doing next before spending some restorative moments alone.
Close your eyes and listen to the sounds around you. Take a nap. Take a bath. Take some time just to be you.
Free Yourself from Striving to Find Meaning in Midlife
Yes! You have gifts, talents, and the imagination to do good works, create beautiful things and impact the world around you through every season of your life. And soon enough, you’ll have your new purpose figured out.
I’ll be sharing in a future episode how to discover and ignite your midlife dreams.
But you can call off the search for meaning in midlife. You won’t find it in an overcrowded schedule or a to-do list filled with all the things.
The meaning you’re searching for is as close as your next moment spent noticing.
Noticing the nearness of God, the people you care about, and the still small voice that reaches you when you get quiet enough to hear that God isn’t finished with you yet.
It’s your time to shine.