Senior Care Academy
Senior Care Academy is a podcast dedicated to providing valuable information and expert advice on navigating the world of senior care for both senior care providers, and families with aging parents. Hosted by industry professionals, each episode covers a wide range of topics including healthcare options, legal considerations, financial planning, and emotional support for caregivers. If you are a healthcare provider, have aging parents, or are a senior adult, this podcast is for you! Tune in to gain valuable insights and resources to help you make informed decisions and provide the best care for your loved ones.
Senior Care Academy
Empathy in Action: Leslie Fuller's Vision for Dignified Dementia Care
When Leslie Fuller, with her rich background as a social gerontologist and dementia care specialist, stepped into our studio, we knew we were in for an enlightening conversation about the transformative power of empathy in senior care. From the pivotal career shift that propelled her from the insurance industry to the heart of gerontology, Leslie paints a vivid picture of the challenges and triumphs encountered in dementia care. Her journey, influenced by personal experiences such as motherhood, sheds light on the delicate art of anticipating the unique needs of each resident, ensuring that their twilight years are treated with the dignity they deserve.
Our dialogue takes a turn towards the vital role of communication, as Leslie shares her arsenal of strategies for bridging the emotional gaps between care providers, residents, and their families. She emphasizes the importance of crafting a welcoming atmosphere in memory care communities, one that feels less like an institution and more like a home. Through stories and experiences, we uncover the nuances of language in educating families about dementia, aiming to replace fear with understanding and encouraging active participation in the care process. This episode becomes a testament to the power of connection and shared planning in creating a supportive environment for seniors.
Rounding off our conversation, Leslie brings to the forefront the success stories that underscore the bright future of dementia care. She illustrates how hands-on techniques and continuous staff education can lead to transformative experiences for both caregivers and residents alike. The personal anecdotes and success indicators Leslie shares breathe life into the concept of person-centered care, highlighting how a deep understanding of our seniors' histories and personalities can lead to more joyful, engaged communities. Prepare to be inspired by the possibilities of a more empathetic and effective approach to senior living, one that cherishes the value each individual brings to the table.
Hey everyone, thanks for tuning in. Welcome to Senior Care Academy, the podcast for anyone in the aging adult industry who wants to make a bigger impact on possible clients or seniors in their space. I'm your host, alex Aldridge. I love seniors and I love helping them out and serving them.
Speaker 1:In today's episode, we get to chat with Leslie Fuller, a social gerontologist and a dementia care specialist based in Las Vegas, nevada. Leslie has a rich background in insurance and risk management, transitioning to social work with a focus on gerontology after 18 years. In her previous career, leslie has developed a significant portfolio in the senior living management space and specializing in dementia care, where she has served as an executive director and a divisional trainer across multiple memory care communities. Recently, she has launched her own consultancy program to support organizations in building sustainable dementia care practices. In today's episode, we're going to be focusing on what to do when you receive a diagnosis, the importance of learning, constant learning, and talking about senior living and dementia care. Without further ado, let's dive in, leslie. Thank you so much for coming on the show today. Happy to have you.
Speaker 2:It's a delight. Thank you, Alex. It's been nice chatting with you this? Morning, getting to know you too.
Speaker 1:Thank you. I really appreciate that. I guess, to begin, tell us a little bit about where you're from, a little bit about who you are, just kind of get a background other than our little introduction for you. Tell us a little bit about yourself.
Speaker 2:Sure, kind of going back to college. I went to KU in Lawrence Kansas and got a business degree because I didn't know what else to do in life. Got married, had two kids, used the business degree in my insurance world for 18 years. But those last couple of years, realizing there's got to be more to life than this, I had a real passion for seniors and just enjoyed their stories and their rich history and so I decided to go back to school. I quit my insurance career, cold turkey, and went back and got my master's in social welfare and focused on gerontology.
Speaker 2:That was just the beginning of literally the rest of my life. I don't know how I didn't have that for 18 years. Focusing on senior living and working in this field has just been. It's opened my world to so much and it means a lot to me.
Speaker 1:That's wonderful. It must have been a big transition for you. I mean, 18 years is a substantial amount of time. Can you talk about what motivated you a little bit more in detail? Talk about the process that you took, the transition period for you from insurance and risk management to senior care.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I sat at a desk in front of my computer, on the phone working with numbers. I used to say that the indication that I had had a successful day is when my agent got a new boat because I made him money and there just was nothing rewarding about it. And I really toyed because I made great money. But I wanted something else and I didn't know what that was and I searched for probably, oh, six months, eight, eight months, no, a year, what do I want to do? And I would find things and it's like, oh, I don't know, do I want to do that? Do I want to give up that stability?
Speaker 2:And then when I came upon this idea, it was kind of an aha moment. It's like, ooh, nonprofit world, let me look at senior living. But then, when I was still scared, I asked myself if I don't do this five years from now and I'm still sitting in this desk am I going to regret it? And the answer was absolutely yes. And so I just did it. It was a lot. And when I got into my program I thought, shoot, you know, I haven't been in college in 19 years 18 years by that point and I thought this is going to be so hard, and all these young students who had their undergrad in social work. I thought they're going to be so much further ahead of me and when I got into the class it took about a week for me to say oh, all my years of experience of being in the field, being a professional, being a mother, being just a part of life, I was going to be just fine that these young 21-year-olds who are undergrad weren't going to race
Speaker 2:past me. In social work you can go the clinical route or you can go the administrative route and because I was tired of all the administration and all the business side of things, I'm like I'm going to be a clinical. But I got into it and I very quickly realized that all of the risk management that I did, those skill sets, transfer fabulously into social work and especially into senior living, Because when you are in a community managing a senior living community risk management is 75% of what you have to do. So it really ended up being a fabulous background for me and then, adding the knowledge that I had from the social work training and the gerontological focus that I had in my work, it really ended up being a perfect combination to feeling like I could be a strong leader in the communities.
Speaker 1:I love how you mentioned being a mother, your previous experience. I love when people draw on their past experiences. Can you talk about how your characteristics and your growth as an individual impacted your approach to facing challenges in dementia care?
Speaker 2:It's a growing thing. You get that degree in gerontology and I have my practicum in a skilled nursing center for a year and you think, great, I've got all the skill sets. And you don't. You have a great foundation and I think that my first role was in a independent living community, so we had over about 325 people and my job as resident services director was kind of everything but it was helping them get comfortable in their move into, helping them connect with what was going on and really foresee.
Speaker 2:I think where my skillset grew tremendously and I had a bit of it to start with but it grew was foreseeing what the challenges are going to be and then backing into those and helping people identify and say, if this happens, this may happen or this is going to happen. Let me prepare you for that. I think that was probably one of my greatest skill sets and people really developed trust in me that I may not have the right answer for everything but I absolutely would be there with them to help walk through that and not only solve the current problem but help them prevent down the road. And that's what risk management is all about, right.
Speaker 2:It's about prevention. I talk with a lot of families about the importance of planning ahead, the importance of having all of your legal documents in place, the importance of having the conversation, because you know what the fact is. We're all going to die right. None of us get out of this alive. People don't like to talk about that, but it's fact. So it's important to talk about those things ahead of time with family, so that you all are on the same page.
Speaker 2:And I always use the analogy I said companies don't wait to create their fire emergency plan when the building's on fire. They prepare that plan ahead of time. They educate everybody as to what it is, where the exits are, what you're supposed to do, and yet as families and individuals, we get nervous about talking about things, so we just don't. And then when the emergency happens and there's the fall or the hospitalization or the dementia of diagnosis that nobody wants to talk about, then we have no idea what we're going to do or how to handle it or how to support. So it's really important for us to just be honest with ourselves in life. Put the fear. I get it. There's fear and anxiety about those things, but we got to set those aside for a little bit and be very practical and say, all right, family, let's hold together. What are we going to do in these situations?
Speaker 1:Definitely, I would agree. It's interesting to see in the senior world a lot of the leaders. You can tell who's strong and who's capable and you can tell who's new and experienced just based off of their ability to face certain issues, like you said, to face the reality that we're going to die, to face the reality of a diagnosis, to face the reality of declining health or the reality of being in a senior community or whatever it may be. I find that, personally, facing reality is a tough challenge. Sometimes I guess it might be my youthfulness, maybe how naive I can be to some situations. What would you say to someone like me or individuals that you worked with in your career? What do you say to them in order to help them face these challenges with confidence?
Speaker 2:It is, for example, right now I'm also doing hospice social work and so when I'm speaking with, for example, I have a younger daughter and her father is younger, in his end of life journey, and she just doesn't have a clue. And I don't think it's so much what I can say to them. It's kind of emotionally holding their hand and walking them through what something looks like. You have to be empathetic, you have to step into their world and understand the fear that they're having of the unknown. And that's really what fear is. It's fear of the unknown. And so it's helping to mentally let her know I'm here for you and let's acknowledge that having fear and also gaining understanding and having love and having grief and having confidence they all can exist at the same time. You don't just have to either be fearful and that's it. You can help that fear by saying let's set the fear aside for a second. We're not going to ignore it, it's there, it's real. But let's set it aside for a second and we'll come back to it. But right now let's talk about what you need functionally to help you with this situation. And so we go through some of those pieces and then I go back and acknowledge.
Speaker 2:I know this is really hard. You've never been through this. It is absolutely normal to feel what you're feeling and it just takes growth. There is no one right answer, but it's having the right people surrounding you to help you along that journey. It's going to be a hard journey regardless. It's how you look at the journey.
Speaker 2:And, for example, right now, my husband just finished a year's worth of chemo and radiation from cancer and now we're in another journey of okay, is it gone? Is it going to come back? So I'm not afraid anymore. I have a little bit of anxiousness about it, for sure, but because we have done such a great job of educating ourselves, learning as much as we can, trusting family, using family when somebody asks you, can I do something for you? Give them something to do. There's a whole other talk that we could have on that, about how to support individuals who are going through a rough time, talk that we could have on that about you know how to support individuals who are going through a rough time, but we as individuals, as the family members, we are going through a rough time. So why not help set a plan for ourselves, just like we would want to do for those around us?
Speaker 1:Yeah Well, thanks for sharing. That's a very, very powerful sentiment to be able to create a system and network to support yourself to be able to face these issues. Oftentimes I understand and learn from others that they face issues themselves and, at least from my perspective, a lot of people I know don't reach out to those who care for them or realize that there are people who care for them. And you, sharing that about your husband, kind of inspires me to learn about my issues, learn about my problems, and I'm sure it's something that we can all take and internalize and to be able to say like, hey, like let's put out a plan, let's understand every facet of what this situation is, let's look at the soft white underbelly of what's really going on, let's uncover the rock, let's look underneath of it, see what's going on and really get a feel for it. Thanks for sharing that, leslie. That was really powerful Pivoting.
Speaker 1:I know family is super important in decision-making and a lot of people struggle connecting the family to the individual if they're receiving care, and I know communication between care providers and families can be difficult. Do you have maybe two or three strategies to implement? I know you mentioned emotional connectivity being super important, being able to sit down with them and be like hey, I understand what you're experiencing, but let's do it together. That seems to be a strategy to me. What other strategies have you seen work when communicating with families about their loved ones?
Speaker 2:Oh, so many wonderful ways. It all starts even from the beginning, from the first tour. If a family's coming in looking for a place for dad, say, how are they greeted when they come in? I have a module that I teach. I have 12 modules. I have a different subject every month that I teach and one 12 modules. I have a different subject every month that I teach and one of them is about the words that we use, the language that we use, and I have a bad scenario and a good scenario, and in the bad scenario, it's all of those terms that are in our field that we have to strive to rid ourselves of. On the institutional language, talking about our memory care being a facility, alex, what does facility mean to you, Not in senior living, but in the rest of the world? What do you think of when I say, well, that's a facility?
Speaker 1:I think of a really boring building with not much inside and you don't really want to go there.
Speaker 2:Ah, kind of sterile.
Speaker 2:I mean think about the things that we consider. My husband works at a manufacturing plant. They call it the facility. Prisons are called a facility. Right, it's cold and stark. Why on earth would we call a memory care, where somebody is going to live with neighbors and their family visits and this is their life and their home. Why on earth would we call it a facility? So it's only one word. But when we look at the history of senior living was medically based back in the day. Right, we've gotten smarter over the years and realized this doesn't mean they have to live in a medical facility the rest of their life. Let's have home.
Speaker 2:So, anyway, going back to in my discussion, I give us a scenario that we talk about. Hey, welcome to our facility. Oh, hi, Mary. Oh, isn't she so cute? Right, talking demeaningly, which that happens. Let's go to the back and see the girls. They can't wait to see you. Okay, I'm sorry. We have functioning professionals that work. We have staff who would love to you know, welcome you.
Speaker 2:It's this, taking the description of all these terms, using diapers, toileting, what we allow our residents to do, all of these terms sound awful. I hope they sound awful to the people who are listening, but they are used and if we don't, as leaders, really open our minds to what does the culture of where we are providing for these individuals to live and we're using terms like that, we're using terms like that, you use terms like that, and the staff look at the residents like that and the families see it that way and they don't grow with it. Anyway, it's just kind of an icky feeling when you read the scenario that I have using all those terms and then I shift over to. Let's have a scenario where, when Alex comes in looking for a place for his dad, I can say, hey, welcome to our community. Hey, bob, is this your son, alex? So nice to meet you. He looks just like you, doesn't he? Well, why don't you?
Speaker 2:And I see the difference between me talking to Alex the son. Let me talk to your dad, because guess what? I'm going to treat him like the individual he is and that he might possibly live in our community and we walk around, we introduce to this is our kitchen staff you know, this is our chef Instead of just introducing them as the girls in the back it's the wording that you use how do we help the families truly feel like, okay, this might not be so bad. Okay, let's go in. You start with that, and then I think I used to educate before I would give a tour in our community. We had our administrative office was in the front before you entered the common living area and I would prepare the family members who would come in.
Speaker 2:I say everyone living here has some level of dementia and some of them their dementia exhibits in different ways. So you might see some reactions or behaviors from people and I hate the word behaviors, but it's behavioral reactions, right, actions of people that you might kind of wonder what was that all about. And that's okay, let's talk about that after we leave, because with dementia comes changes in the brain and people respond and react differently than you and I might. So it's really kind of preparing them. It goes back to that stripping some of the fear away a little bit. Right, fear is you don't understand and we don't know. So just starting to educate them.
Speaker 2:When they come in, then we fast forward. It goes great. They move into the community. You have to help them become a part of the community. This isn't just where dad lives, this is going to be a place they come to visit. So facilitating them getting to know other family members, I used to always pair together a new family that would move in with another family that I knew, who I thought maybe they might have something in common and we would just have a lunch together with both families and their loved ones who just moved in. It's doing like you would do with anybody else that you wanted to welcome into a new place and help them feel comfortable.
Speaker 2:Introduce them to people, walk around, identify. If you're walking Bob around and you see Bob looks a little uneasy in an area, you have to be in tune to that and maybe lead him somewhere else. Find out oh, bob likes a garden, so we're going to start in the backyard, because I know Bob would love that, and just sit out there and chat. There are so many ways that you can help do that beyond just a checklist. The nurses are amazing in these communities and they have checklists right. They have to get the medications. They have to make sure we have the DME in place. They have all of that checklist-y stuff In addition to that. They also have to help with this. But we as leaders in the community have to really take that onus of helping set the tone, create the culture, find ways to promote that culture and not just expect staff to do it right.
Speaker 2:And that's why, when I left senior living, I left and created my training program because I saw this was so needed.
Speaker 1:I'm actually glad that you brought that up. Your strategies, first of all, are amazing. I learned a similar thing. I had the opportunity to serve a church mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and I went to Portland church mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and I went to Portland and I noticed that a lot of the missionaries who served the individuals in the community would identify people using certain words, language, and it wasn't necessarily demeaning, but it wasn't uplifting.
Speaker 1:And I learned that what you say about people, how you think about them, what you're saying while you're working with them, how you describe your work, how you describe your life, really matters in the long term, because it truly becomes and it shapes to be what you actually do. Instead of calling a homeless person a bum, you just say, oh, this person is homeless, they're currently experiencing something difficult, this person is homeless, they're currently experiencing something difficult. Instead of you know saying like, oh, we're just going to go out and do some work for somebody, you know, what do you say? We're going out, we have the opportunity to serve someone, we're going to go do yard work, we're going to wash a car, whatever it might be. I really resonate with those ideas and I'm glad that you brought up your consultancy program.
Speaker 1:For those who are listening, leslie's developed the Inspired Senior Care Program. Can you talk a little bit about what the program is? I know you've mentioned modules and I know you've mentioned a few things that you focus on. Can you give a brief rundown about what it is that you're currently doing?
Speaker 2:explains more about it when I would travel. I traveled 13 different states over the last four years in the field where I was training and the training program that my company had was fabulous. I love teaching it, people loved hearing it and I taught it. It was a two day course that I taught primarily to executive directors, directors of nursing, program managers and regional directors. Anybody who is new in leadership in those areas would come to this class and at the end of two days they'd come up and say, oh my gosh, this is wonderful.
Speaker 2:I wish I'd had this three years ago in my career. Can you come and teach my staff? And I'm like, well, I would love to, but no, at any one time I would have about 45 different communities that I served. Well, when I'm trying to do everything I was doing, 45 is a lot. So my goal was to go teach those leaders and then those leaders take that message and go back and teach their staff. I wanted to be able to give them tools right. We've all been to training classes that we thought were great and you get a binder right. And what happens with that binder when you get back?
Speaker 1:It kind of just disappears.
Speaker 2:Right, it's put on the bookshelf. Maybe you refer to it occasionally, but I wanted to have something more proactive to be able to give to those leaders so that when you get back to the community, use these tools. This will help keep you fresh on what we've learned and help carry on that message. And so, after I quit, I decided that doesn't exist out there, so I'm going to create it. So it's called Inspired Senior Care.
Speaker 2:I changed it from Inspired Dementia Care because, as I was creating it I realized this isn't just for dementia care, this is just good care. It's good human care with a lot of specific dementia care woven throughout it. I've had clients use it in assisted livings, in behavioral health, in memory care, and it's just good general human content. So it's based on 12 different and I chose 12 just because I wanted to make it easy for leaders of communities to be able to train with their staff. And if you have a focus you can do it.
Speaker 2:So each month there is a lesson plan on a topic so, for example, language matters is one of my topics, or word choice matters and during that month, the first week, they have a lesson plan that they can teach an in-service, and then every day they have conversation cards that they can use in standup meetings, or they can use them in the break room, or you can have conversations with the residents. Each card provides a tidbit of knowledge on that topic so language matters and then it provides questions to ask the staff to get them to connect to the content as a human being first, and then, after we discuss it as maybe three, four minutes in standup meeting, then the last piece of the card is okay. How can we take this knowledge and apply it to our residents and apply it to our work that we do on a daily basis? So, going back to what you were just talking about, the words that we use, one of the terms that I hate is allowing. What do we allow our residents to do?
Speaker 1:Okay, hold on here.
Speaker 2:This is their home. They hired us right. We work for them.
Speaker 2:What is this about? What we allow them to do? So maybe that card for the day, the conversation card, was talking about how the word allow makes it sound like I have power over them. And so the questions I might ask is you're standing in standup, you ask the staff, so what do you think the word allow, what are you allowed to do in your own home? And the staff might say, well, it's my house, I do what I want, okay, and you get them talking about that and it goes through two or three different questions just to stir the conversation.
Speaker 2:I think so many leaders and communities they have these ideas and they have that they want to teach. But it's like how do I get the attention of the staff to teach this and how do I teach on a global perspective? Right, sometimes you might walk in and see a staff member doing something. You're like, oh okay, this is a teachable moment right now, but obviously I need to teach this to everybody. So how do you do that? Well, if you have these conversations that stand up every day and you make it a habit, and your staff will teach you too. I mean, this isn't just a one way. We all have to learn together as a group and then again at the end it gives you suggestions. Ask your residents what they would like to do, find out what their preferences are. Rather than you can do this or you can't do colorful, they're playful.
Speaker 2:So there's one poster, 18 by 24, for language matters and that goes up at the first of the month where everybody can see it families, residents, staff so it gives everybody kind of a commonality for that month. Oh, we're talking about the importance of the words we use. And then the next month you take that down and you put up the poster, maybe for environment. So it's the importance of what does our environment do for us? Does it support us positively or negatively?
Speaker 2:Same thing. You have a lesson plan that you can teach a class. You've got conversation cards, you can have those discussions every day. You have the poster up to remind everybody and it's just a year's worth of things that we all should do as human beings to support one another and in particular there, as I said, dementia care woven throughout all of that. So, for example, environment. I was in a community one time where we were supposed to have a desk where somebody could feel like if they were a bookkeeper, if they were like me in our generation. These day and age right, we spend so much time at a desk with a computer.
Speaker 2:So let's have a desk with a computer, with a notepad, so they can sit and feel comfortable. Well, this particular community had a desk that had a computer and it had a calculator and it had some books and it had a compass and it had. I mean, it was just like all of this stuff and it was overwhelming it had. I mean, it was just like all of this stuff and it was overwhelming.
Speaker 2:So, guess what, nobody ever engaged with it. So, helping the community to understand. You had good ideas that all of these items out here are things that might be of interest, but guess what? For somebody who's living with dementia, it's too much to focus on, so you lose them totally. So, from an environmental standpoint, what we see needs to be supportive and encouraging, and we need to change this. So it's encouraging and invites them in.
Speaker 1:Definitely. Those are amazing points. I'm kind of curious what do some key indicators of success look like when you implement these new ideas new to a community receiving them, but generally good ideas. That should have been done in the first place. What do the key indicators of success look like?
Speaker 2:I'm fortunate that I do get to go in and teach staff sometimes. I have a community here in Las Vegas that I go quarterly about and teach and I think the aha moments that the staff get when you're going over this and they're like I never even thought about that, Because when you teach it it's so important to teach experientially, which means they need to experience themselves, they need to feel it, they need to hear it, they need to maybe touch examples that we have, do role plays. They will say I never thought about doing that and then to have staff members who come back and say you'll never get what Mrs Smith did today because I used that technique and it helped her so much feel more comfortable taking the shower. She didn't react poorly to me or I used hand under hand with her and she was able to take a few bites on her own. She's never done that before, and hand under hand. By the way, I have to put a shout out to Positive Approach to Care.
Speaker 2:That's Teva Snow's program and that is a technique she really teaches and how it can benefit residents in so many different ways and not just benefit the residents benefit the staff, because the staff seek, they want to have good working relationships and good supportive relationships with the residents. But sometimes they don't know how. If they've never worked with individuals with dementia and they have an individual who no longer can speak, they think, well, how can I communicate if she can't talk? Oh, my goodness, there's so many other senses we can use.
Speaker 1:Yeah, seriously yeah.
Speaker 2:So it's just seeing that and seeing the families. When the families learn these techniques, they start using them, and it's beautiful when you see a family member and a staff member connecting together because they learned a technique that they used with dad. And you see it, it's small, the small successes are giant. They really are. And when staff come back and say we've never known any of this. Can you teach us more? Staff love this stuff. They absolutely love this stuff.
Speaker 1:That's interesting that you mentioned that. They love it, that the feedback seems to be a big key indicator of success. Personally, whenever I learn something about a specific topic and it clicks for me, I am that much more invested in learning more about it, and I think, in my opinion, increased knowledge and increased study and increased learning of what your specialty is increases the likelihood of retention. Have you seen that? Have you seen employees more invested in their work, more invested in themselves, more invested in their clients as a result of your teaching?
Speaker 2:Oh, absolutely, I mean no question in that when they come back to the next session and talk about those successes they had and when they're able to share with another employee, another staff member, what happened so that they can use that technique with a resident. I had going way back this was back when I was training a staff member that I watched. I had a resident watch an interaction where the resident was obviously agitated, obviously saying you could tell the anxiety was up and he went over to her and got in front of her, made eye contact with her and said Mary, and he started whistling to her, whistling a song, and Mary kind of stopped and he kept whistling and then Mary started whistling back to him and then he kind of smiled and he whistled along and you saw she was so engaged with him and they were having a joyful moment, right, so he was able to take this moment of angst and intervene and bring something that he knew was so important to her.
Speaker 2:And I watched this and I was like this is magic. This is better than any pill you could give her right, because too many communities do that right. Oh, she's agitated. Where's her Ativan? No, let's get her whistling. So I stopped him and I said that was amazing, that was beautiful, talk to me about that. And he said well, I just, she was amazing, that was beautiful, talk to me about that. And he said well, I just, she whistles sometimes. And so I started with her and I said have you told the other staff about this? And he says, no, it's kind of our little secret. And I said okay, it can no longer be your little secret. Do you realize that you have found a solution for Mary? You have found something that is a wonderful thing to help her. Everybody needs to understand that. That is something that they need to be able to learn to do with her.
Speaker 2:So, that right. There just is another technique that when you find something that works great, don't just say, oh, this is nice, I have a great relationship. Be willing to share that with the other staff, because, guess what? We found a way that makes Mary have a better life. Why on earth wouldn't we want everybody to know that that's a toolkit in their tool belt?
Speaker 1:That's so crazy. I love that story. It reminds me of a personal story of mine, if you don't mind me sharing.
Speaker 1:My grandma suffered a few strokes and lost complete function of her left side and suffered a few heart attacks and broken hips. She was a tank, but she could only communicate using one word, and that word was mama. It was mama for this, mama for that, and I was in second grade when they moved in into my house and I was in I don't know a junior in high school when they moved back to Guatemala, where they're from, and while I was 10, 11 years old I learned that the way she pointed, if it was like a certain degree, it meant like the bathroom. If it was lower, it meant like she was hungry. If her tone was sad, then it meant that she wanted to stand up.
Speaker 1:I started understanding these things. If she started yelling like if she said mama, really, really loud, she wanted attention, she was lonely, and I really wish I communicated those things to my family because they really struggled with her, except for my mom, my mom didn't, because it was my mom's mom. My mom also had what I guess is quoted like as the touch, and so it's interesting that you mentioned the importance to communicate solutions, because in my life if I had communicated like, hey, this means this and this means that, and we wouldn't have struggled so much learning about her, and I guess the learning curve would have been shortened by a great degree. That's a wonderful story you shared with whistling. I really resonated with me Of all the successes you've had and of all the experience you've had. What is two or three major pieces of advice you would give to like new dementia care professionals just starting out? You can't give them everything, you can't give them the whole pie, but where would you point them?
Speaker 2:Oh my goodness, new Wow. Seek out people who are willing to take you under their wing. I, actually, prior to my husband this last year, of course, everything kind of fell apart, but prior to that, on LinkedIn, I created a monthly support group for people who were early in their field. Because if you, if you surround yourself with the people who have the not just experience because I have met some people out there who they sit like this and they're like, oh, I've been doing this 30 years, I know what I'm doing you can't teach me anything. Okay, move on, go past that person. They might have knowledge to give you, but if they are so closed down that they think they know everything, they're not the one to go to. They're not going to be supportive of you. So, finding a mentor, finding groups that you can go to, where you can really learn from people who want to share. I'm a part of a dementia specialist group that we're just a Facebook group of people, but together for four years and we're constantly getting new members and supporting individuals who are getting into this field and who are wanting to be consultants and trainers and helping support them. Those groups are out there. Find them. Don't do this on your own Watch videos, start learning, read books I mean, I guess it's like anything else you would do the more you immerse yourself into this and be open to understanding and learning more about person-centered care, starting there. That term is actually becoming an older term, but it is getting you away from the institutional old school. Why was person-centered care started Gosh, even when I left the industry and went out on my own?
Speaker 2:I'll do another shout out to Dr Jennifer Carson. She's in University of Nevada, reno. She is an amazing educator, friend, supporter, countrywide. She is a supporter of individuals who are living with dementia to live their lives. They just have a diagnosis, right, they have a diagnosis like everybody else has a diagnosis and trying to get society to not treat them just as their diagnosis. But how do we treat them as a human being who has a diagnosis and needs some specialized coaching and training on our part? I think about your grandmother, holy cow, strong, strong woman, right, and she's inside trying to figure out.
Speaker 2:How do I tell these people what I want? She figured out ways, right, she was working so hard every single day, and so, guess what?
Speaker 2:We have to work hard too, and we have to work hard to learn to understand where they're coming from and how we can partner. I think the word partner is the greatest thing that we can take away. We're not in charge of them, we don't control them. We are there with them to partner through what their individual journey is, and if you can get that in your mind to have as the starting point when you're supporting someone, it makes all the difference in the world. And, like you said, the words that we use affect how we think. So when we start using the words I am their partner, I am their support. They are an individual living with dementia. Society has this phrase that gets thrown out all the time. I see it in publications, aarp or nothing against them.
Speaker 2:They have great stuff, but even in articles where you think, where it's a raised, an elevated level of senior living understanding you still see that phrase used it's a person suffering from dementia. So when we put it that way, we all of a sudden, you know what? Might they be suffering? Uh-huh, yeah, might somebody else who's going through something else is suffering? Yeah, do we need to describe people all the time as a person who's suffering from? It really doesn't bring confidence and strength to what they can do.
Speaker 2:Your grandmother was a rock star in being able to communicate. She was 100% communicating the best of her ability. All right, let's give her kudos for that. As opposed to society looking at it just as, oh, the negative side of things, I'm a social worker. My job is to find the positive, to find the strengths right. In social work it's called strengths-based perspective, which is we look first and foremost to what are their strengths. The fact that your grandmother was able to use the word mama guess what? That? As opposed to having no verbal ability. She had that word. Okay, that's a strength of hers. Now, let's focus on it. Now let's look at the things you noticed. How's she using that word? How can we use that word to help her? It's just a mindset difference of looking at the strengths-based perspective versus the suffering perspective.
Speaker 2:Doesn't mean, this isn't maybe real, but it sure doesn't help us very much in making life positive for them and giving them the independence that they need, to whatever level they can have.
Speaker 2:That would be the other thing independence. Finding ways for them and giving them the independence that they need, to whatever level they can have. Other thing independence. Finding ways for them to do things that they can on their own, giving them ways to contribute. They've contributed their whole lives right, so find ways that they still are able to use their strengths to contribute to their own life, to use their strengths to contribute to their own life, to contribute to others, to. However that is. It's all about creating quality of life.
Speaker 1:That's amazing. I think that's a great place to kind of wrap up here. I have one last question I love asking all of my guests If you had a magic wand and you could wave away a problem that you experience in your day-to-day life, what would it be and why?
Speaker 2:Oh, that's huge A magic wand to wave away one problem in my life or in their lives.
Speaker 1:In the lives of people you work with in the industry, maybe a big issue. You see, what would it be.
Speaker 2:Okay, there are millions of them, obviously can't do them all but someone who really helps the community learn and understand all that we've talked about today and not just learn it but put it into practice, put it into the culture, to find a way to help these communities truly be a place where Alex would want to take his dad, bob right, and you would.
Speaker 2:Every time you visited your dad you would walk in and saying, wow, the culture here is so enriched and engaged and elevated and I am so, so glad my father is living here and you walk through and you hear life and you hear laughter and you see relationships built and the staff are welcoming of you. I think that having a dementia care specialist on your team and somebody who the staff is willing to listen and have that constant encouragement and coaching I kind of hate the word training because what you've heard today, the key points that caught you, alex, as a human, that you're like as a human, that you're like ooh well, that's kind of cool. I didn't train you to do that, right, I introduced the concept and helped you feel it and so I guess, to have everything that you've been through, to have every community out there have that ability and willingness and understanding that this isn't just a place where we make money because they pay us rent.
Speaker 2:This is their life and these people have been through so much and have so much to give back to us and so much to learn from them and the more we support them to have a quality of life and listen to them and listen to what they need what they have to offer, the better, and it makes for happier residents, family staff, it helps keep quality of life better. It keeps census up. It's a win-win.
Speaker 1:I love that. I would vote for that. If we had a magic wand system, I would vote for that.
Speaker 2:Great.
Speaker 1:Well, everyone, I hope you enjoyed today's episode. Leslie Fuller, gerontologist, social worker, dementia care. Extraordinaire Leslie, it was so good to have you on today. Thank you so much.
Speaker 2:Thank you for the opportunity, Alec. I really appreciate this. It feels good to be back.