Senior Care Academy
Senior Care Academy is a podcast dedicated to providing valuable information and expert advice on navigating the world of senior care for both senior care providers, and families with aging parents. Hosted by industry professionals, each episode covers a wide range of topics including healthcare options, legal considerations, financial planning, and emotional support for caregivers. If you are a healthcare provider, have aging parents, or are a senior adult, this podcast is for you! Tune in to gain valuable insights and resources to help you make informed decisions and provide the best care for your loved ones.
Senior Care Academy
Bridging Business and Caregiving: Lessons from Corbin Church
What happens when the roles reverse and you find yourself caring for the very person who raised you? Corbin Church, a seasoned entrepreneur and managing director of Utah's iHub, opens up about his emotional journey in balancing his demanding career with caregiving for his mother who suffers from dementia. Through heartfelt stories and candid reflections, Corbin illuminates the profound challenges and emotional guilt associated with this role reversal. He also shares the difficult decision of transitioning his mother into a senior living facility, emphasizing the critical need for privacy, amenities, and engaging activities to combat loneliness and keep her stimulated.
Safety and trust become paramount when selecting a caregiver for a loved one with memory issues. Corbin walks us through his meticulous vetting process for finding a compatible caregiver from Helperly, highlighting the importance of open communication and thorough background checks. He discusses the delicate task of protecting his mother from deceptive spam calls and safeguarding her finances. Corbin's insights offer practical advice on maintaining a positive mindset amidst repetitive conversations and memory loss, showcasing how a trustworthy caregiver can become an invaluable advocate and companion.
Turning to his professional life, Corbin shares the mission of iHub Innovation Hub Foundation, a nonprofit incubator in Provo, Utah. This collaborative environment is designed to support young entrepreneurs and recent graduates, transforming the often solitary journey of entrepreneurship into a community-driven effort. Corbin provides essential advice for senior care providers on building trust and alleviating guilt for families, stressing the importance of engaging activities for elderly residents. Whether you're an entrepreneur, a caregiver, or seeking to balance your personal and professional responsibilities, this episode is packed with valuable lessons and heartfelt moments.
Joining us today is Corbin Church, a lifelong entrepreneur, angel investor and fund manager with over three decades of experience in founding, operating and selling multiple companies. As the managing director of iHub, which is the innovation hub of Utah, corbin is dedicated to empowering young entrepreneurs by providing them with the resources, mentorship and collaborative environment they need to succeed. He's also an adjunct professor at BYU, where he shares his extensive knowledge and experience with aspiring business leaders. Beyond his professional endeavors, corbin actively supports humanitarian causes and cancer research. Along with his wife, cara, he's also a very loving son of his aging mother. Today, we're going to dive into how someone like Corbin, who's extremely busy, is able to incorporate his mom into his life, and what he looks for when working with care providers to get her the care that she needs and ultimately deserves. Corbin welcome.
Speaker 2:Thank you, good to be with you today.
Speaker 1:Nice to have you. So the first question we'll kind of just jump right in how has your experience with your mom influenced your approach to life and what's changed?
Speaker 2:Role reversals. That's what's changed. There was a time in life where my mom nurtured and cared for me and interesting how life happens it goes full circle. Now my mom is needing more care and more of my time. It used to be all about from my mom to me and now it's vice versa. So life has changed in that my mom has a lot of needs. She does not drive anymore. That was a big change. Her vision is impaired, her hearing is impaired and, as you mentioned, my mom suffers from dementia. So there are a lot of needs. She has a lot of doctor's appointments and things like that. So my mom needs help. She needs her sons now to do what she did for them, and so there are several of us. But everybody has busy lives and so we do the best we can to divide that up and take care of her and meet her needs.
Speaker 1:But, yeah, role reversal is a great way to put it. That's interesting and it really does come full circle. She was taking care of you and when you needed everything through your toddler years and teenage. Now it's just the opposite.
Speaker 2:Isn't that interesting. It is interesting Scary too. Circle of life.
Speaker 1:So what challenges you mentioned. You and your brothers are all very busy. You run Innovation Hub of Utah. You're very involved in investing and in your community. So how do you balance your professional commitments with being able to take the time to go and see your mom and make sure that she's getting taken care of?
Speaker 2:I think that one of the best ways to answer that is it's difficult. I don't want to beat around the bush on this. It's difficult and it comes with guilt because life is busy and mom has needs and to get that done and to do what I should as a good son, I'm not meeting the quota. I'm not doing what I should do. I try to talk to my mom every night before I go to bed. I live about 45 minutes away, so visiting her every day isn't a possibility, but I try to contact her each day, give her a call, see how she's doing, see how her day was, what she remembers, try to bring up some memories to jog that mind of hers. I have dinner with her every Sunday. We have her come down to our home and we spend time with her, and so we do that. But the doctor's appointments during the week, the medications, the filling those medications, all those other needs, that's difficult for us.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I like how you said and I think it's common for people in your situation. You're exceptionally busy, but if you have a kid and you're trying to be a contributing member of society these days it's difficult. I feel like it's common to have that guilt and some people they take on that guilt and they become the primary caregiver and then that swallows their whole life and all of a sudden they have guilt because they're not being able to be the best parent or the best in their other roles and it's just a hard balancing act.
Speaker 2:It's challenging. We moved my mom into a senior living center. It's got a lot of activities, it's a lot going on, and so that's been a benefit to us.
Speaker 1:How did you ultimately decide where you moved her, compared to the other places?
Speaker 2:We were looking for something that was a little upscale, something that was nicer. We didn't want to put her in an aging place, meaning an older facility. We also wanted her to be where she had privacy. Privacy was important to us, and then probably the number one concern or feature that we were looking for was amenities. We wanted her to be active, we wanted her to have a lot of things to do, and where she is now she has a ton of activities. She has things to choose from all day long if she chooses to participate. I wish she would participate more, but there's a lot to do there and that is peace of mind.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:It's odd to say, but that bought us some peace of mind because she's busy. She has things to do day and night. There's a lot going on and that's nice she has things to do day and night.
Speaker 1:There's a lot going on and that's nice. I like that and I think it's interesting to me a lot of people that don't opt to move their parents to a senior living place their parents at home, they don't have those activities with community and they see them in front of the TV or not doing anything for hours on end and they're like oh, that's just what you do when you get old.
Speaker 2:But it's like if it's boring to you.
Speaker 1:it's going to be boring to your parent that's getting older. So having something like that, yeah, you know my mom.
Speaker 2:prior to the move, my mom was very lonely, and loneliness is a contributing factor to dementia. My mom's condition is at least partially due to the loneliness that she had, and so resolving that loneliness issue, if even partially, was really important to us.
Speaker 1:I think that's a key factor that people need to look into more is obviously the medical side is important, but just something to help her not be lonely. So are there other support systems that you have in place to kind of manage that loneliness and help fill the role?
Speaker 2:A little over a year ago we contracted with Helperly to provide our mother with companion services, and so every weekday we have a Helperly companion. It's the same one. She goes by the name of Feline and she is my mom's friend. She is in doing what are called companionship services, that's, going on walks with my mom, they go to lunch most days together. They do wash, they clean, they will read, they'll watch TV, will read, they'll watch TV.
Speaker 2:My mom likes to be driven around, so Feline will take my mom on car rides to her old neighborhood, to whatever is nostalgic for my mother. It is awesome because it's guilt relieving. And if my mom knew that her insurance was paying for this or that her sons were paying for it, that might ruin the experience. I'm not sure, but she doesn't. My mom sees it as a friend and she'll tell me when I call at night about her friend Feline and the things they did each day and it's amazing that brings me so much peace of mind. Feline is often the one to take my mom to doctor's appointments because they occur during the day when availability for me is limited. So she picks up her prescriptions, she takes her shopping, they walk the mall, all kinds of things, loneliness box checked.
Speaker 2:It's awesome, it's a great service and it brings me peace of mind.
Speaker 1:So, as you were deciding to start working with Helperly and then the community that she lived with you mentioned helping with the loneliness that things are going on is a huge factor for you. Are there any other qualities in care providers whether it's where she lived or Helperly that were green lights for you that got you excited about working with these providers?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I needed to know that my mom was safe. You know, elderly population is a vulnerable population and so safe and secure was a very important factor for us. Where she lives, I have zero concerns, helperly zero concerns. Those are the important things for us. Taking her driver's license away was important because she was danger to herself and to others. Those were the big things that we worked on. The other one would be her telephone. We really struggle with the people who call her and we've changed her phone number now three times. Wow, and like spamming calls Spamming calls Wow, and they are so deceptive they will use AI to get voices that deceive my mom and others. So we have protected all of her money. We've put them behind walls because my mom will give out that information. She's easily deceived and so we've done things to be sure that all that's protected. They'll get a little bit, but they won't get a lot of it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, wow, I didn't realize that. And she, it's extreme. Yeah, I will tell you over a year.
Speaker 2:Wow, yeah, they. She'll be in the car with us or be at our home and she'll take a phone call and we hear her giving out important information and we walk over and we push end on the phone and then we block that number. When we're together, we'll take her phone and we'll go through and we'll block all the spam numbers. It's difficult but it's scary. That's a major concern of ours. Yeah, it's safety. Yeah, so we did it. We now release $1,000 or so to our mother. If somebody pierced the protections that we've put in place, or my mom gave access that she shouldn't have, they'll end up with less than $1,000. And that's manageable.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I think that's smart having that extra layer of protection. Most people don't think about that. Yeah it's a big one, yeah, with the care providers that are going into her home. How did you vet safety there? What was the process for you to decide that?
Speaker 2:We had an interview process Helperly allowed us to meet with three different providers that they carefully selected as what they felt was a match for our mother. And our mother is very conservative, One of those people we really liked, but she had some tattoos and some piercings. And my mom's from another generation and she's a wonderful person but she can be a little judgmental in those regards. And so, although we loved her, that one wasn't going to work and we went through the other two and we decided on Feline very sweet lady, hardworking, really has a big heart. Feline has taken our mother to her home and made her a meal and introduced her to her family and I would say going above and beyond. And that's what we wanted for our mom somebody to genuinely love her. But we were able to fully vet the process and we felt comfortable going in. But we also knew that the people being presented to us had gone through a full background check and so we were provided with choices that were safe and good. We just were able to pick our best flavor.
Speaker 1:I like that. How have you been able to build the strong relationship with Feline it sounds like obviously help really helped you get it started. Relationship with Feline it sounds like obviously Helperly helped you get it started and then with the individual caregiver that you're working with, the ongoing is it?
Speaker 2:communication is the biggest thing. Yeah, so we have an automated message once a month from Helperly that is a daily report of what's happened with our mother, but that's secondary. Our primary source of information is direct communication with Feline. I have three brothers. The four of us are on a group text with Feline and near daily the group text is taking place and Feline is asking us when was this happened?
Speaker 2:Day before yesterday, either Monday or Tuesday of this week, feline was asking us who our mom's dentist was and when was the last time our mom had been to the dentist. We all shrugged our shoulders. We do a lot of doctor's appointments. We never thought about the dentist and I don't think my mom's been to the dentist for a long time. So Feline set all that up. We didn't know. Oh, her previous dentist was no longer in business, so we found her another dentist. Feline made the appointment. Stuff like that takes place all the time. She's messaging with my older brother on bills that need to get paid, because he handles those responsibilities not just bills to be paid, but insurance needs and things like that. We communicate with her three, four, five times a week via text and when she's with our mom she helps with all kinds of tasks. It's incredible.
Speaker 1:That's awesome, yeah. So having a lot of communication, open communication and sharing the good, the bad and then, just over time, I feel like that builds trust, where you know that your mom's being taken care of.
Speaker 2:No question, yeah, we have. I would put our comfort level at 100%. We have no concerns. We have a. We have a very close friend, slash family member in my mom's companionship companion.
Speaker 1:I love that. Yeah, that's awesome, switching gears a little bit. So how do you personally cope with the challenges of having your mother kind of going through the memory loss struggles and the different challenges that are associated with that?
Speaker 2:You know what? It's a little bit of cheerleading before you make a phone call or before you stop in to visit or pick her up, because you have to change your mental mindset. We will be going through the same question and I can tell you the 10 topics that we're going to discuss for 10 to 20 times in the next three hours that we're together. We don't go beyond those 10 topics and it can come up within one minute of us getting together, the same question being repeated, and there have been times where I was lacking patience and I got short and it's like, hey, same, as I just told you.
Speaker 1:Still the same same answer.
Speaker 2:And that's wrong. She's not doing that to frustrate. She's not doing that to be a pain in the neck. She has no recall, and that's upon us. She had patience with us four boys. She had an abundance of patience, but you know what? That's upon us. It's our turn to show patience now, and that's a mindset that is stopping before you knock on that door and saying, okay, business aside, now it's mom's time. Drop everything. And mom's time means patience. When she asks the same question two minutes from now, answer the question again.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And come up with things to talk about, to jog her memory of the past. She has a wonderful memory of long-term, short-term she has none, and so thinking about things that we can talk about to bring up fun memories for her so that she doesn't keep asking the same questions but when she asks it a third time, answer it a third time, that is so important. So with memory care, I would say the biggest one is patience.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I just like that a lot where it's. I think care providers should have the same and it's difficult A lot of the time if they, if they're going from client to client and they're hearing these same things. It's like their biz, their business is patients. Yeah, and it really. It goes back to what you said, the role reversal, where I have a son that's two and a half years old and we talk about the same things and we play the same games every night and we have the same routine.
Speaker 2:Yep.
Speaker 1:And it's just the op. You know you flip it over.
Speaker 2:It's going to be his turn in 60 years In 60 years.
Speaker 1:It'll be his turn to listen to me over and over and over again. What are some? Or could you share a memorable moment or a story that showed one of the joys of that role reversal with your mom, or that time with her?
Speaker 2:You know there are so many. My mom is such a loving person. Every time I go to pick her up she's waiting downstairs for me and she comes out and she looks me straight in the eyes and she says I love you so much. It's piercing. It's piercing. It is so real. But if you could go down layers in that voice you would measure how real that is. It's not how we might say I love you to one another as an obligation in passing. It has layers of reality attached to it. It's meaningful and I can just see it in her eyes. She hasn't been around to people, she hasn't been with family. It might be a few days and that I love you pierces to the core. And then every once in a while we'll be driving along and she will say something so witty and so quick and I'm just like you go, mom.
Speaker 2:And I just bust out laughing because it's still there.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And it just really makes me feel good and we laugh so hard. But it's just, you know, there is sadness, it's sad to see the decline, yeah. So find joy in the good moments. Yeah, that's so important. There are fewer, I'm not going to's so important. There are fewer, I'm not going to sugarcoat it, there are fewer. But find joy in those moments and be patient.
Speaker 1:Part of the flip side of the coin that makes things more difficult, makes them richer, like you said where she says I love you. It's like she knows that she's saying I love you, corbin, and she probably sees the little boy that she raised and the the deep rooted memories that aren't going to go anywhere. It just makes it so much more special even though on the other side of that coin. It makes it more difficult on the day to day.
Speaker 1:That's right. The last few questions kind of flipping gear, cause we have a lot of senior care professionals with their families and things. I wanted to ask, on the professional side of things, what motivated you to start iHub and who should join iHub if they have like a loved one or a son or daughter? That's kind of in that space.
Speaker 2:Yeah iHub Innovation Hub Foundation. We're a nonprofit incubator. We are helping mostly young people, but I have several adults in there. These are people at the earliest stage of starting a business, people with ideas that have no idea what to do next, and we set this up as a nonprofit to help them know what the next step is. We're located in Provo, in Utah County, and we're there to help any and everyone. We're largely made up of BYU and UVU students or recent graduates there from, but we're just there to get businesses off the ground. Help people be successful, help them to realize their dreams. Our tagline is elevating success, and that's what we're trying to do is elevate one's chances for success.
Speaker 2:Is there an experience with iHub that you're exceptionally proud of so far? But I have to stop and I'll often pull out my phone and catch a picture of it, but it's four or five people standing up talking to one another and it's that all important word collaboration. When you're sitting alone, entrepreneurism is a lonely sport. When you're sitting at your home or in your apartment working alone, oh it's really lonely. But when you're on a floor with a whole bunch of other entrepreneurs, you're all doing the same thing. You're all facing risk and challenges every day. That buoys you. When five of you are standing around together and sharing ideas and helping one another, that's called collaboration. And collaboration is magical because all ships rise with that tide. It's so cool to witness. But we see mentors coming in daily helping young people make a contact, get into a chain, whatever Amazing things happening every day.
Speaker 1:That is awesome. It is a lonely sport and so it's nice being able to talk to somebody else and be like oh, I'm experiencing that exact same thing, so that's awesome. If somebody wants to join I hub, how do they do that?
Speaker 2:They can get more information by going to wwwihubutahorg notcomorg. Tons of information there for them, Awesome.
Speaker 1:The last question is do you have any advice for senior care providers? So companies like Helperly, places like where your mom's living as far as if they want to appeal to people like you trying to get care for their mom, what should they do? It sounds like trust is very important.
Speaker 2:Trust is important. We're looking for somebody who can give our parents something to do. We're all at the stage of life where we have to work to provide for our family. We have kids doing things like soccer and whatever, and it's busy during the day and it's busy in the evening places that can provide our parents with a life like they used to have things to do. That eases guilt. I can't tell you how real guilt is when it comes to my mom. I feel guilty all the time that I'm not spending enough time with her, that I'm not calling her enough, that I'm not being a good enough son. If you want to appeal to me, help me relieve my guilt.
Speaker 1:I like that. That's great advice.
Speaker 2:If I were in that business, that's what I would be doing Helping to replace, relieve guilt.
Speaker 1:Yeah, replace guilt with peace and confidence.
Speaker 2:That my mom is happy, she's loving it. She doesn't have time for my phone call. She's got friends over, she's going to this chorus thing, she's going to this, she's going to that. I'm like okay, mom, awesome.
Speaker 1:Have fun.
Speaker 2:It's happened many times. I'm like, yes, it's great because I don't have to feel guilty.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I love that. Well, thanks so much, corbin, for coming today and giving us that insight and input to working with people trying to help seniors better their lives.
Speaker 2:Happy to help. Hopefully it's beneficial to someone.