Drunk Girls Gone Sober
ADHD Antics
Ever found yourself in a mischievous twist of fate, like turning a disabled toilet into an impromptu podcast studio? That's just a sliver of the mayhem you'll get a peek at as my co-host Tarah and I rummage through the cluttered world of ADHD, sprinkled with doses of humor and candid personal insights. Our latest episode is a rollercoaster ride through the ups and downs of managing ADHD, with the added twist of navigating sobriety. Karleigh also brings her own sobering revelations on how ditching the drink brought mental clarity to her life with ADHD.
Listen in as Karleigh shares a pivotal moment that nearly led her to rehab and the support from her 'London mother' that kept her grounded. We get real about the seductive call of old habits and the strategies that fortify our resolve. It's a conversation that's not just about the struggles, but also the triumphs of self-discovery and the acceptance of a helping hand when the road gets rocky. So, pour yourself a cup of coffee (or tea, if that's your jam), and get ready for a heartfelt exploration of the intersection of ADHD and alcohol, without the hangover.
Please be advised that explicit language is part of our dialogue. If you're seeking support in your own journey towards sobriety, we recommend checking out helpful resources such as the "Drinkless", "Reframe", and "Everything AA" apps, available on various platforms. Additionally, you can explore valuable insights on alcoholics-anonymous.org.uk. website for the thailand free rehab centre is 'https:wat-thamkrabok.org'
Thank you so much for your support and for listening to us. please click the follow button if you like us and leave us some feedback in the comments below! we will be back every Thursday with a new episode.
Ever found yourself in a mischievous twist of fate, like turning a disabled toilet into an impromptu podcast studio? That's just a sliver of the mayhem you'll get a peek at as my co-host Tarah and I rummage through the cluttered world of ADHD, sprinkled with doses of humor and candid personal insights. Our latest episode is a rollercoaster ride through the ups and downs of managing ADHD, with the added twist of navigating sobriety. Karleigh also brings her own sobering revelations on how ditching the drink brought mental clarity to her life with ADHD.
Listen in as Karleigh shares a pivotal moment that nearly led her to rehab and the support from her 'London mother' that kept her grounded. We get real about the seductive call of old habits and the strategies that fortify our resolve. It's a conversation that's not just about the struggles, but also the triumphs of self-discovery and the acceptance of a helping hand when the road gets rocky. So, pour yourself a cup of coffee (or tea, if that's your jam), and get ready for a heartfelt exploration of the intersection of ADHD and alcohol, without the hangover.
Please be advised that explicit language is part of our dialogue. If you're seeking support in your own journey towards sobriety, we recommend checking out helpful resources such as the "Drinkless", "Reframe", and "Everything AA" apps, available on various platforms. Additionally, you can explore valuable insights on alcoholics-anonymous.org.uk. website for the thailand free rehab centre is 'https:wat-thamkrabok.org'
Thank you so much for your support and for listening to us. please click the follow button if you like us and leave us some feedback in the comments below! we will be back every Thursday with a new episode.
Enjoy it.
Speaker 2:So today, tara, what are we talking about? Today, we are going to touch on a subject that currently affects 1.9 million adults in the UK, and that's ADHD, ADHD and alcohol.
Speaker 1:Guys and alcohol.
Speaker 2:And Carly, this is more prominent for you.
Speaker 1:So I'm the ADHD one and Tara is not. So I have all the millions of ideas at once and Tara puts them in compartments for me.
Speaker 2:So together we are one, we are one. I'm better at compartmentalising and probably suffer with other mental illnesses, just not ADHD suffer with other mental illnesses, just not adhd.
Speaker 1:Basically, I've been doing my research on this because I've always found that my need to drink is more compulsive than maybe certain other people's, and what we've discovered is that adhd and alcohol are a toxic mix it's five to ten percent.
Speaker 2:More problem with people. Well, young adults with alcohol addiction, adhd is um is present.
Speaker 1:It's for five to ten times more likely that you're going to have a problem with alcohol if you have adhd, and I totally relate to this and I know that all my adhd friends will also relate to this. I'm currently going through the diagnosis myself and I'll tell you about that in a bit because there was a funny questionnaire, because it honestly makes you feel so much better. And all my friends, all the things that have annoyed them about me for many, many years, and teachers, and you know college and school, the penny drops, yeah, the the penny drops and it makes sense.
Speaker 1:One of those, actually, I'll just mention now quickly is interrupting people when they're speaking Sorry, tara, who would need that as a co-host and finishing other people's stories Again what makes a brilliant co-host Carly? We're actually trying to learn how to let each other finish every day, every day, every day is a learning day.
Speaker 2:Every day is a learning day and, trust me, this podcast has been sorry to divert and this is probably an ADHD symptom, not me it's my ADHD symptom and she's saying it this whole experience of starting a podcast and creating a podcast every step of it, I think what is Tara just has unrealistic expectations.
Speaker 1:I think that everything she's like, oh my god, we've only got to do this. We'll be so quick. And I'm like clear your day, clear your whole day and another day this week. She's like, oh my god, we'll get it in a couple of hours. It's just not the case.
Speaker 2:I'm so optimistic do you think I'm?
Speaker 1:taking down her optimism when I'm being realist. But you know, I'm, I'm learning the ways I'm still learning every day is a learning day.
Speaker 2:Um, and also, before you jump in about your um experience, I just want to say I think today's society is very label based and we're not trying to put anyone in a box, especially to do with drinking or adhd.
Speaker 1:So we're not here to label or put anyone in a box, but I just think it's this is our personal experience super it's super useful to know about, because I didn't know about half um half of this information before I start, but she does have a fantastic story for you about ADHD and we'll get into that in a bit. But first of all I just want to talk about the ADHD and drinking, because I don't I think a lot of people are undiagnosed ADHD, and especially in our creative industry. Personally, for us most of our friends have ADHD, and when we're all together, oh wow it's intense.
Speaker 2:No one finishes anything. No one can talk for more than 2.3 seconds.
Speaker 1:So basically it consists of so obviously we work in TV and film and there's about 30 of us make a bias together. I'd say probably 22 of them have adhd and we all sit around a table and everyone speaks at the exact same time and they all tell their own story and yet we've all heard each other, even though we've just spoke about ourselves, and we've all fully feel fulfilled, walked away, feeling.
Speaker 2:Walked away from that conversation, feeling, feeling how great was like, oh my god, that was amazing.
Speaker 1:Yeah, because, like adhd people together, they're just like, oh my god, you totally understand. And um, I for one, I'm grateful and I still think it's superpower.
Speaker 2:It just needs to be controlled do you want to explain, for anyone who doesn't know, what adhd actually is?
Speaker 1:well, I don't know yeah, but okay, so well, I can explain to you what it does, well, but there's loads of different types of adhd and I have a more of a hyperversion and basically, essentially, I can explain to you what it does to me, and that is. A million things go on in my head at once and I cannot focus on one thing attention deficit, hyperactivity disorder. Thank you, and that's what it is. I don't know honestly.
Speaker 2:I just talk about your experience with it. And when, when do you think, um you first noticed that you were, I wouldn't say different, but you were definitely different, definitely different. Um, you were functioning differently from other people always school yeah, always school.
Speaker 1:Teachers used to get really mad at me and they compare me to my brother. My brother was the A-star golden boy and still is.
Speaker 2:Hi, james, and basically no resentment there no, I love my brother.
Speaker 1:He's also I mean, he's got gifts of his own. He's a professional poker player superpowers, superpowers in the family, but so, but I could never concentrate. I actually once had a teacher hit me over the head in primary school with a bible, a thick, thick bible, which, yeah, yeah, I know that's the face I want to see. To knock face now. To smack me over the head because I was speaking and not listening. Um, yeah, I think I was about eight years old, not allowed to do that. Now people, um, obviously, my mum used to roll me up in a rug, you're not allowed to do that.
Speaker 2:Now people? Um, obviously my mum used to roll me up in a rug. You're not allowed to do that either. Well, I don't know, is that a game, or I think my twin brother has adhd, or my mum just calls him an alien and he's. She says he's not from this world, but he used to do manic things like climb the door frames like spider-man, okay, and then her solution was spider-man.
Speaker 1:Okay, and then her solution was um. In the lightest possible way, that is not an actual fact, but uh, yeah, so tara is a twin um, yeah, I've got an old brother, half brother and a twin brother. I'm the only girl standing in the family she's a girl I am. We're going to try and focus on the story Like this is what we get distracted, oh okay, so you first noticed that you were functioning somewhat differently at school when you got hit over the head With a Bible.
Speaker 1:And I also remember, at university I got picked to do a competition. I got chosen to do you know what? I actually can't remember the name of it, can you? That's it. I don't remember what it stands for. There'd be loads of makeup stalls there and you'd be competitions and you'd go and you'd get chosen to do something. But anyway, I got picked to do one of the things I'd done at university and it was body painting. And do you know what? I just didn't think to bring my own makeup kit with me.
Speaker 2:Oh you mean iMac? Yes, is it iMac.
Speaker 1:That's what I thought.
Speaker 2:Okay, it probably is iMac is imax guys well, either or either on the same page now but I just didn't, I was still at uni and I.
Speaker 1:I was chosen to go and do it, but I who didn't bring my own makeup?
Speaker 2:whose makeup were you going to use?
Speaker 1:all right. So, guys, I'm obviously not like that anymore, because I'm a professional in the industry and I do know how to work but yeah at the time. It just didn't occur to me, because it's a symptom of adhd to just.
Speaker 1:I was so excited about doing it and the only thing I was like, right, all I've got to do is be there to do it, forgot about all of the materials that you may need. So, yeah, big learning curve. How did you end up doing? I bought. Well, I was at. I was at the makeup trade show, I was at the makeup trade show. So it's all coming back to you now.
Speaker 1:So I was only 18 guys, um. So, yeah, I did um manage to buy all the paints and but I do remember my tutor was like what's like, what's wrong with you.
Speaker 2:Why would you?
Speaker 1:not. Why would you not bring it?
Speaker 1:that's an expensive day for you it was an expensive day, but you know it was worth it. It looked amazing and I had to learn. It's not something I've forgotten. So there you go, but yeah, but coming, just going back to the adhd with alcohol thing, because I think a lot of people have a lot, a lot going on in their minds all the time and people undiagnosed with adhd don't know, and and we often drink to calm the thoughts in our minds. So you, you want a bit of respite, so you have a, a moment. But the problem with that is what we're learning is is you get five to ten times more anxiety and depression. So learning that if you have adhd, if you have adhd compared to a normal person with a hangover, so the effects are way worse the Sunday scaries are awful, yeah, the combination with the impulsivity and the disrupted emotional function just gets worse.
Speaker 1:um, anyway, there's a lot of online tests that you can do, guys, and I've actually just there's a long wait list at the doctors as well, but I'm pretty much Taipei.
Speaker 2:But also we are not medical professionals. So please don't go running to your health practitioner and say I've listened to a podcast. I get really bad anxiety. I've got ADHD. I've done an online test.
Speaker 1:Google's my best friend this is actually something that Tara would do, you know, after listening to a podcast back in the day running to the GP and going. I've just listened to this and I have this, the GP doesn't take me seriously, that's good. Thank god for that, I know it's concerning, though slightly, maybe change GPs, start afresh.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I did I told them about, um, my legs, my dancing legs when I drink, and they just looked at me and said, yeah, you're just drunk, but I swore. I swore to them it was a real medical condition. I've been suffering from it all my life. There was a girl at university. I was in a nightclub and she thought I had been drugged and I just tried to explain to her no, no, it's just my feet. Yeah, the doctors didn't take me seriously. I wasn't impressed.
Speaker 1:So the ADHD thing it's obviously if you feel like something's off and you're not quite sure about it. But most of us, especially in the creative, I'd say in TV and film, a lot of creatives have ADHD.
Speaker 2:It just is a way of life, Just the creative fields because your brain, like it, is a superpower. I see you, the way you think and the way you move. That sounds like a lot of stuff it's your brain thinks about a hundred different things at once. It's insane.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it just gets a bit confused and that's where the yeah, the chaos does come in, but but it can get really frustrating when you can't, when you are actually trying to do a task, because some days are worse than others and when everything's going at once, it's mad, like we had this last week when we were we were actually trying to record our intro and, by the way, which we did from a disabled toilet.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, do you want to tell that story? Yeah, um, digressing digress.
Speaker 2:That's okay, yeah okay, um, so obviously we've mentioned that every day is a learning day, and if you're creating a podcast and you don't have a team behind you and you don't have producers, and it is just you makeup artists who are creative and not logical whatsoever if you are just two makeup artists and just two people just staring at your laptops for hours trying to work out how the hell things are meant to happen, how to use garage band, how to use garage band, how to use any kind of software on a macbook. Um, so we uh, successfully recorded our podcast and then it came to editing and, like I said, we don't have a team, it's just us. And, like carly said, I thought it would be a breeze cut to me and carly standing in a disabled toilet, which we commented, commented as our studio for the day on the strand. But why did we have to do that?
Speaker 1:because there is a podcast studio that we would use. It's a studio that we were going to use at 180 and it was out of order. So it was out of order and it was the last thing we had to do. So we actually spent the day going, we worked there, but we were going in and out of it to see we're trying to get a clear cut of our intro outro to the point where we started having meetings in the toilet and I just looked at carly and we weren't recording anything and I just looked at carly and said should we just take this outside, because we were just standing and giving each other notes in the disabled toilet not a public toilet?
Speaker 1:that wouldn't work but you know we did it in the end. So if you guys heard a lot of echoing on that there, that there is a reason and that is the story behind it. However, we've we've given up on that idea. We've we've had it professionally done, and so this time, don't worry, I didn't drink.
Speaker 1:After that she didn't no, oh yeah, so we still haven't drank. We're still not drinking. Actually, we both went to reformers today. No, I went to another blaze class. She's loving blaze. I went to my first reformers class. And how did you find that, carly? It was hard. It was hard. I do yoga, um, pilates, that was hard, but like good, it really was worked on my core. And to start the day and make me tired because I have so much energy it.
Speaker 2:Pilates is also good for the mind.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:As is every exercise but that.
Speaker 1:My preference for that is yoga With breath work, because I just love it. But yeah, it was great, I will definitely be going again.
Speaker 2:Pilates is a lifestyle, along with a nice coffee. It's not been a shabby morning. It did get. It did take us. We got so stressed with the bloody microphones we talk like now that last week was just the start of our troubles. Yeah, it took us two and a half hours to actually record anything, but hey ho here we are, guys, back to the point of the episode.
Speaker 1:Yeah, sorry. So back to our adhd episode.
Speaker 2:So, carly how do you think um adhd has impacted your relationship with alcohol?
Speaker 1:Well, I actually didn't know it was a thing. Knowledge is key people, knowledge is power, knowledge is power. But from being sober, what I learn is that my mind is so much clearer and what that means is the ADHD is way more prominent, and I noticed this last year when I did it for the 69 days of non-drinking. That, wow, I have a lot of thoughts and a lot of ideas.
Speaker 2:So having non-ADHD friends aka Tara, yeah, really helps me actually sure that that makes so much sense because you don't over communicate, but when you need to say something, you're a multi-messenger. Do you know what I mean?
Speaker 2:and then, also my dad who I think has got ADHD but refuses to believe in labels. He is very much an over-communicator. I don't know if that's because he loves the sound of his own voice and his own thoughts, but I know that's not the case for you, but you very much get into it. Your brain is working overtime on it, yeah.
Speaker 1:I saw my friend one of our other friends the other week who she's pregnant, so she really didn't need to deal with with me, but she's also got adhd. But I thought let's go to the cinema while you can still do something and by the time I picked her up, got driven from hers to the cinema. Got to the cinema desk. She was like, oh my god, your adhd today is on fire. And and I was like, oh my God, is it? She was like you haven't shut up since I got in the car.
Speaker 2:I bet you don't even realise until someone tells you Wow.
Speaker 1:There are tests online you can do. We aren't medical professionals. You can diagnose yourselves with Google, that's fine, or you can go to your doctor, but if it's bothering you that much, I had to go because they can give you medications that can make you focus, um, but it's a long process and, on that note, so Tara Tara not having ADHD, but Tara being Tara would like to tell us a little story about when she took some ADHD medication and it was prescribed to someone.
Speaker 2:It just wasn't prescribed to me, so so it's not like illegal drug use no, no, no, it will tell them the story.
Speaker 2:Okay, so me, um, my ex-partner and some family members not my mother or my father were going to amsterdam between christmas and new year's so, and that year it was particularly cold and by the time we boarded the airplane, um, it had completely frozen over and of course we were on a budget airline. There wasn't any insurance for the plane to be defrosted, so I think it was the back of the queue for to leave the um, to leave the airport. So we were essentially grounded for four hours. We were stuck on this plane because they couldn't put us back in the terminal because we'd left already, for whatever reason, I don't know um, and then their air hostesses and attendants started serving alcohol, which I've later um learned that it's illegal to serve alcohol if the plane is on the ground it's illegal, but it's imagine the group of people between christmas and new year's it's just everyone rowdy oh, the no days where there's no days in the year it was
Speaker 2:rowdy party people that wanted to go to Amsterdam for New Year's, anyway. So everyone's like having a jolly, like trying to make the best of being stuck in a tin can, which I hate anyway, but you know, you could see life outside the window. The person that I was with. She said, hey, tara, let's party. And she has ADHD. And I do not. And I thought what's the worst? That's going to happen. I'm going to super focus, hang on.
Speaker 1:So can I just say did you take it because you wanted to super focus, because you were stuck on the ground and you have nothing to do, or because you were feeling a bit cray cray?
Speaker 2:I was the worm oh, the worm.
Speaker 1:And we're back to the worm. The worm wanted medicine.
Speaker 2:Okay, right, yeah, so I wanted medicating in all the wrong ways, um, anyway, so I took the adhd um medication and obviously not suffering from adhd, it would not work. The same as people with ADHD.
Speaker 2:Correct, it's not meant for me the opposite it sent me absolutely mental, to the point where I started looking around manically, thinking I need to get up, like, get out this tin can. Um, the air hostess was like please sit down, please sit down. And I'm saying no, I need to deboard the plane right now. I elbowed an air hostess out the way, I undid the safety. They hadn't shut the door but they safe, put the safety belts across and the the steps were still down on the plane. So I undid this like I undid the safety belt. I deboarded the plane by myself. I had airport security running up the tarmac saying, no, you can't step foot on the ground. And I was thinking why, the why can't I step? I was like what's the difference? And I was telling them this what is the difference between me being on these steps and me with my feet on the ground?
Speaker 1:but how were you like, actually what was going on in your head to make you need to get off that plane?
Speaker 2:I don't think it was a panic attack. I wish I could blame it on that. It wasn't. And then I think I pretended it was to their hostess because because then I was just hanging out the side of the plane breathing and then my ex at the time tried to try to um, try to make it better, and I was over being with him at that time.
Speaker 2:So at that point I was like I don't want you anywhere near me so so that didn't make the relationship any better and if he's ever listening to this, I apologize. He said I treated him really bad. He said I treated him really badly on that trip, right, okay, so that's my official apology. That's my official apology anyway. Point being is um, it wasn't a great experience the first time I did it. The second time I took adhd medication without being you did it twice. It was when I was working in recruitment and all forms of drugs and alcohol welcomed in that industry. Sure, I've never made so many phone calls in one morning. I was so hyper fixated. Did I semi hand my notice? Semi get fired?
Speaker 1:yes, but did you have a good?
Speaker 2:time I. I then saw the positives of of that, but I look, I just should never do it yeah, I.
Speaker 1:So the advice that we're gonna say now is definitely don't take medication unless it is prescribed to you and I would not do it now sober, not drinking alcohol.
Speaker 2:It was totally wanting to live in chaos, wanting to party, wanting to be manic, which I was always in that headspace and I think, like a lot of you said, to us um, about the last podcast that you understood, the, the brain worm, the worm, yeah, and actually it helped you understand your partners better.
Speaker 1:I had, you know, voice notes like, oh my god so, and so has the brain one, my partner has the brain one and now I get it. That's why they don't want to go home at the end of the night and I'm like, correct yeah, and it's not through a choice of.
Speaker 2:I think I can be the best part. Well, you do think about the time, but it is taken out of your control, yeah, and heightened if you do suffer from adhd, because that those impulsive impulsivities, yeah, are just heightened.
Speaker 1:Oh they're so they are so heightened. Well, what I also wanted to say it is a massive problem I have had forever and my friends, like you know, I've got friends I've known since I was born and they can't stand me on a holiday, like everyone babysits me immediately from the second we are there. Has Carly got her bag? Has Carly got her passport? Has Carly brought her fucking toothbrush? Well and honestly, honestly, it annoys me and it's happened to me for such a long time. Yeah, but guess what, guys? It's a symptom you misplace things or you lose things constantly because of the brain, because of the ADHD, because of the brain, because of the ADHD. So you can imagine, imagine how much worse it is when you're drunk. I have lost so many things drunk, but what's the?
Speaker 2:worst thing. You've lost One. Well, I guess it goes hand in hand, but because your brain's been all over the place and because, obviously, you've been drunk and impaired Like the most expensive or the most harmful, I've had my handbag stolen several times from under my feet in London in. I think that's just bad luck, though it's under your feet under the table.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I've had my whole bag taken yeah, someone did crawl under the table in a pub. When in my 20s, when I was in theatre and took my, my entire handbag and it just so happened that day I had a new card, so I don't ask me why I've never done it since. Don't recommend it. Wrote down the pin number to said card, put it in my purse and Carly's an out of town girl, oh yeah.
Speaker 1:So, yeah, you know, I was new to London and I thought people would not rob you. But they do. Guys, that's just what happens. Yeah. So my dad used to say like I swear to god, just um, people follow you around in London non-stop track you to take your stuff back in the day, since have to focus way more on belongings that belong to me.
Speaker 1:yeah, however, even yesterday, my one of my best friends from home, who's known me forever she just says I'm a bit scatty I was at home yesterday, went to hers, was going to drive back to London, so left her house, driving back five minutes into the drive, get a phone call. I answer the phone and I'm like what did I leave? And she went. And I'm like what did I leave? And she went your entire handbag. How did you do that? I don't know. And even when I asked her right, I looked in my seat, saw my water bottle, saw my phone and thought oh, I've got everything.
Speaker 2:Do you think you suffer from object permanence? What's object permanence? Yes, is that?
Speaker 1:what you're looking at me, what's object permanence.
Speaker 2:If it's not in front of you, it's you forget it exists.
Speaker 1:I say that to men often no, I suffer from adhd, no, that is part of adhd. Well, yeah, the the objects. I cannot remember things. So if say, for example, I don't think it's that, I don't think it's because it's not in front of me, it's because my brain, brain is thinking 10 million things and I'm already gone to London, in my head I'm like I've got to go, I've got stuff to do, I must be there.
Speaker 2:I don't care, I'm back.
Speaker 1:I've already gone and she said her partner was like. She was like, oh my God, Carly's left her bag in. What the fuck? Who the fuck does that? And I do that, guys. I also left a pair of uh designer sunglasses at my other friends last week. Yeah, one of it, scatty thought I immediately needed to buy a pair because I was never going to get them back have you ever left anything at? Oh, I've got a great story.
Speaker 1:Boys, not boys, I mean probably, but nothing that you care about yeah to get back, or and actually I think I do think, like in back in the day, they think that you leave things there. Yeah, so you can come back.
Speaker 2:Uh, that's not the case. All right, carly.
Speaker 1:Carly doesn't care about you, that is not the case. I just forgot, and you know, if I don't say it again, it's probably fine. I've lost a million things, however, yeah, um, I did go on a recent trip last year and x and again wasn't drinking, so adhd was quite prominent and I went to. I went on a trip by myself, which immediately my friends were concerned about because I booked kenya, tanzania and zanzibar and I was like guys, I'm an adult, I work all over the world, I'm pretty sure I can go, and they were like I could not do that.
Speaker 1:They were like I don't know, carl's, I don't know, and I was like it's fine because I'm not going to drink on this trip, but I think I did it. Yeah, so I did. I ended up drinking on this trip because it was very exciting.
Speaker 2:No, you said there was nothing around. No, that was a different.
Speaker 1:That was a yoga retreat the year before. Yeah, that was a yoga retreat in january, right in pulio and in italy. Don't don't do it. It's freezing cold and no one goes, so you are just alone. And you messaged me and you said there's nothing here. I nearly flew home, but I didn't. I didn't actually. I drank. They give you really good organic, homemade wine, so the with the food and the wine it was great. But yeah, I needed, I need people. I just met this group of people there were seven of us in total and oh, did they catch on quickly that I would be needed babysitting for the group?
Speaker 2:well, isn't that nice that their intuition spoke to them they were incredible.
Speaker 1:What a lucky, lucky trip to meet a great bunch of people and they really did look after me pretty sure I was the oldest as well. But do you talk to anyone? Yeah, yeah, we still got a group. We we planned like we've planned another trip, but I shout out to we called them the magic mic rejects because when we got to kenya we all met up there. We thought our bus was outside and then we realized that we were the smallest group there and actually the giant bus was for everyone going to Uganda and they got the Magic Mike bus. So one of the people in the group that I was with created a little group and put the name as Magic Mike Rejects and forever that we will be put the name as magic mic rejects and forever that we will be. But my point was so we left kenya and we had to go drive to tanzania to cross the border and did you do that with all of your possessions at that time?
Speaker 1:no, so basically it's like a four-hour drive to the border. Um, I forgot my passport, carly I, at the lodge. Thank god, like you know, it was actually okay, it was still there and we did get it, but it was because I'd had drinks with everyone the night before. We all got a bit excited, had dinner, had drinks you know, you're getting to know people and then Consequences of alcohol.
Speaker 1:Yeah, consequences were, I think there is a picture of me and they took it of me and I'm dragging my stuff to the bus, All my suitcases, so hungover, Big sunglasses on, and she didn't bring my passport and also didn't get again. This is ADHD. I and also didn't get again. This is this is adhd. I did not get a yellow fever um injection, which you need to cross the border, but why? Because of yellow fever yeah, what is yellow fever? You can't ask me questions that I don't know for anyone basically right for anyone not watching and just listening.
Speaker 2:Whenever I'm intrigued and, as you do, in conversation, you ask a question, Carly just keeps flinching and giving me this manic look.
Speaker 1:It's pressure. If you put me under pressure. I don't know the names of things. It looks like you're getting electrocuted Right.
Speaker 2:Anyway, you need it Okay.
Speaker 1:It's a prominent part there there and you needed the vaccination. You couldn't have vaccination, I didn't have it. But I just would like to say I did go to my doctors before and I got all my jabs. Not once did they tell me I needed that and they googled the countries I was going again gps, gps so luckily I overworked.
Speaker 1:There was a guy there working on the border that fancied me and he said, pretty, this is pretty privilege. He was like if you come back here, I'm going to I won't do the accent because I will insult someone and I'm not here for that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 1:But he was like basically, if you come back here and if you follow me on Instagram and say you'll go on a date with me, I'll give you the yellow fever jab. Men are so stupid. So I did. I followed him on Instagram. He gave me the yellow fever jab.
Speaker 2:And then he said if you say you'll go on a date with me, he just wanted the promise. Yeah, yeah, men are so sadly silly.
Speaker 1:I did not see him again, but I did get my injection. So thank god I could go to Tanzania, because what an experience did you get it over there. Yeah, I got it at the border. He did it in the back. Yeah, an injection In the back. Careful you say, yeah, an injection In the back, because that is a long process going through the border. Anyway, it was an amazing trip but going forward, being sober, I'm definitely more focused and more in control Of my own and not losing things.
Speaker 1:Yeah, losing things, it's just. It's one of the things that is very annoying for me, but it doesn't change and everyone who knows me has to accept that, and Carly do you want to talk a bit more about the difference you've noticed in yourself, or maybe your ADHD symptoms, since you've not drank?
Speaker 1:yes, okay, uh, this is a um, a bit more of a deep one. So I have always been on medication for anxiety, uh, since I can remember, but I did not know I had. I didn't know pretty much my whole life until I was well into my 30s. I had adhd until I met, well, probably in the 20s. In my 20s, when we were all in the industry together, realizing there's something wrong with all of us and but that's quite normal, yeah, uh. So yeah, I was on medication for that forever and, being sober, I was able to come off that medication and have complete clarity and not have the anxiety and just knowing what it is now and not drinking like the symptoms of my anxiety. You know everyone, I think people. You have a different day, you have a bad day, you have a good day, but there's so much karma.
Speaker 2:Everything in me is a lot calmer your um quality of life has improved dramatically in terms of your ADHD because you've cut out alcohol yeah, I would say, would say so, I would definitely say so.
Speaker 1:There's still we've still got the brain worm. Do you still have?
Speaker 2:I mean actually, this week's been not too bad. Oh no, I've struggled this week. There you go, each to their own.
Speaker 1:So, tara, why have you struggled this week?
Speaker 2:I. There was a period of time, so I'm now six months and two weeks sober and there was a period of that time, maybe three to the five month mark, five and a half month mark. Well, I was pretty comfortable. I don't know if I've deluded myself, but I was really comfortable in my sobriety and not drinking. But the last, especially the last week, and when I've actually thought about it, the last couple of weeks I've every day I felt the itch, the itch oh yeah, and it goes and goes and then I think, is this normal?
Speaker 2:um, is this just because I'm depriving myself, or is this because? Then I think, do not do. People who don't have the problem necessarily don't have the brain worm. No, but think about, think about it this much, because every day I'm thinking about, oh, I'd like a drink, yeah, but I don't know if that's because I'm purposely depriving myself or if it's no, I think it's because you have the brain worm.
Speaker 1:Because the people with the brain worm. It doesn't leave, does it. It's always there and it wants to dig a tunnel through your brain.
Speaker 2:It's tunneling and I've really felt it this way, can I?
Speaker 1:ask you a question. Yes, what do you do to distract yourself from doing that, from giving in to that brain worm?
Speaker 2:I think routine is massively important to me.
Speaker 1:I actually love the routine.
Speaker 2:Now, I'm such a morning person, I'm such a nocturnal owl yeah.
Speaker 1:Again, sorry, ADHD Mind wakes up at night time. Woo off we go. Let's think of all the things we did from the age of three upwards that fucked up our lives. I hate that Phenomen, I hate that it's so annoying torture every day.
Speaker 2:Um so um. Routine is super important to me because I, if I don't know what I'm doing next, I bet there's room to spiral. Yeah, if I know I have to be somewhere. And I also very much make um and this was important at the beginning which we can. We will touch on in our next episode about the first couple of weeks of being sober um, making sobriety very much a big part of my identity, because that holds me accountable yes, that is, you've said that to me before.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so Tara just announces to everyone hi, I'm Tara, and I've actually been sober for six months. I just everyone must know.
Speaker 2:But it's actually, it's not to brag, it's, it's for her own, it's holding myself accountable, because if, if I don't make it such a thing, because that also puts a certain responsibility on the people that I'm with, because no one wants to be the person that drags someone down the wrong path, apart from if it was us and we were drinking.
Speaker 1:Apart from the actually no sorry two people with the brain worm love to drag each other down. They're like oh, my God thank.
Speaker 2:God, someone's on this journey with me. Oh, carly's a great idea. Let's go and not come home for five days.
Speaker 1:Yes, that's brilliant. Oh, by the way, we've never done that.
Speaker 2:I actually have never done that I've not come home for three days. Where have you been? It's just the past.
Speaker 1:I always come home I'm very good, I know where my home is. I'm like I'm you know. I'm like is it a dog or a cat that knows where its home is? My, my cats, definitely live here, so I think I'm a cat. I'm like I know where home is. I'll go there, I am.
Speaker 2:No, sometimes, maybe last summer, the summer before, there was times where I just when the party's just too party-ish. Yeah, and I just I was like I don't need to go home, I haven't got a partner, I've got my house key, I can get my can.
Speaker 1:Anytime I have been in those states where you I think actually you've gone so far into the drinking because you couldn't stop drinking. Yeah, it's been too many hours, you're too drunk and your anxiety is so high You're like I don't want to be sober. You're actually almost you're like I cannot be sober because I do not want to remember this, so I'm going to stay here and keep drinking. That happened to me last year and it was very it was a spiral. It went out of control. I actually wasn't even going to drink that day and then I ended up drinking and spiraled.
Speaker 1:I was to a point where I was so drunk I thought, right, I'm going to have to, I have to do something about this, someone has to stop me. And I thought who do I? I call? It's either my dad, who will kill me and you know that's probably the scariest person I know or my London mother, who's not actually my mother, but she adopted me when I first moved to London and she also scary, so phoned her, being the better option, latter option, phoned her up and we mentioned this on the last podcast because Tara said do you want to talk about the Thailand prison? And I said said no, I'm not ready for that. Yes, you did. Yeah.
Speaker 1:So I thought, as it was in there, I may as well tell you this story and get it over with, anyway. So I phoned her, crying, sobbing, saying I don't know how to stop drinking, like, by the way, I was absolutely blasted and I was like I don't know what to do. I think you need to send me somewhere. I have to go to rehab, you have to send me. It's funny now, but at the time I was like ugh, distraught, and she said okay, right, I'm going to send you to rehab then, but I'm picking it and you're going to this rehab in Thailand. And I thought, oh god, amazing, that sounds great.
Speaker 1:Holiday, holiday, spa, um no, no, no no, maybe it'll be better than Puglia yeah no, sent me over this article and it's like the world's toughest, the world's toughest rehab which Pete Doherty went to. So you know, some people want that and I was. All I had to do was read the article and I was like, do you know what? I think I can just stop drinking, it's enough.
Speaker 1:I think the scare for me was like yeah, I don't want to go there. So she scared me back into being sober, which is great for me. That doesn't work for everyone. Some people might want to go to the Thailand rehab and this one is free. I can't remember what it's called, so we will figure that out and write in the show notes in case anyone is interested in looking it up. People might be people might be.
Speaker 2:There are a lot of people that need that support and guidance all day and luckily enough.
Speaker 1:Luckily enough, the threat in mind is enough and it will remain there as enough. And my other friend she is my posh Chelsea friend, who I adore, who I've known for such a long time, but she was like no darling, I don't think you need that. I think you need more of a spa. I think you just need a spa, something like nice, where you can relax, and I was. You just need a spa, something like nice, we can relax, and.
Speaker 1:I was like she was guessing yeah, I don't, I don't, I don't know if you you're getting where I was at at that point. But yeah, as soon as I sobered up, yeah, um, no, I did call her as well.
Speaker 2:You know you need someone who's going to threaten you of taking you to prison and then you're like, okay, maybe I'm all right, thank god, I um. You know how you said you had had done enough like three day binges, and you just take it too far. And that was when you called your london mum and discovered thailand prison. Love you, london mum. Um, I, like my point was a couple of years ago. I remember after it was after a wrap party, I was on like the second or the third day drinking with my friend and I just remember being in a pub in soho. Literally just I stared at this glass of wine, I couldn't touch it, shaking for about two hours, and I and I literally my friend and I said you're probably going to need to take me to hospital. We didn't talk for two hours and I just stared.
Speaker 1:I mean, that's not what stopped me, Were you severely hungover. No, I think I was poisoning myself, yeah so you gave yourself alcohol, poisoning. But I did just carry on.
Speaker 2:I gave my body a break for a couple of hours, but you know what?
Speaker 1:that is the brain worm and again, guys thinking that I could carry on don't like be too hard on yourself or shame yourself. Yeah, because this is what happens and it is like an absolute fear. But you generally don't have control after that, whether it's the first drink, second or third. Some of us just don't have the control and just be gentle with yourself and kind. That's a good point.
Speaker 1:And if you, if you've gone, if you've done like my friend, one of my really good friends she's in health and wellness, but, um, she just did, she did 28 days and I'm so proud of her for doing that. And then she had a drink. She went on a date with a partner and went for some drinks. She checked me the next day saying that was so not worth it. I feel so horrific, and I said, well, do you know what? That's fine, just be kind to yourself. You did 28 days, which is amazing, and then you've had some drinks. And if you want to use it for inspiration, do that, but never punish yourself. You've just got to speak to yourself as if you have a little me in you, because you do, and not a little me, not a little something A little, you, a little something.
Speaker 2:That's a really good point. Be very kind to yourself. I put a lot of pressure on the idea of maybe wanting to drink again. Yeah, and of course that's maybe I can, maybe I can't, but I think I toy with the idea.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and so do I. Sorry, I'm interrupting you Practicing the ADHD, Okay, sorry.
Speaker 2:Tara and I toy with that. I flirt with the idea, but then I just think of the amount of guilt because I think I've come. I've, I've come so far, yeah are you holding? Yourself accountable hugely and I don't want to make all this time go to waste, which you won't, because I've had the most incredible six and a half months.
Speaker 1:I don't want to sound like a pretty twat guys at all, but I am so happy, but again, and so is Tara, and we get so much done and fitness. I'm like you know, I think people do.
Speaker 2:It does actually happen, yeah, but there was a woman in the jacuzzi a couple of days ago. I told you this earlier. Yeah with a glass of champagne With a glass of champagne, which made me feel like, oh, I really missed that.
Speaker 1:The other day it was sunshine.
Speaker 2:Friday that was one of my triggers.
Speaker 1:We discussed this on Friday. Tara told you last time that her trigger was sunshine and I it's like the smell of summer in general. I met my friend in Notting Hill Friday and it was the best weather so far that we've had. We were walking around and actually she didn't drink either, but I was like um lauren, we would literally be getting smashed by now if I was drinking. And she was like, no, you would be, I would still be all right, you're not drinking because you I don't know, we just didn't drink.
Speaker 1:Um, we were walking around in the sand and stuff and I saw people pouring wine and that when you do see someone pour that glass of wine, you're like, oh, but it's just the one, I only just want the one. But I can't have the one, so I'm not gonna have any. And actually I did again. I think I had non-alcoholic beer and that does it for me now.
Speaker 2:I love it, I just oh, that was it, we celebrate.
Speaker 1:I just wanted to ask you what your favourite non-alcoholic drinks are.
Speaker 2:Oh, that's a great question, so that's a really good one. I enjoy a really good mocktail that doesn't just taste like fruit juice, yeah, like something else. Is it juniper? That's the gin and tonic. There's something like a seed or something that gives the drink a bit of like a bit of spice. That doesn't make it taste like a sweet juice drink. So, enjoy a good mocktail. I like a lychee drink. That's obviously. That reminds me a lot of a lychee martini. I love anything with an elderflower fizz. Yeah, I can't do coca-cola after coca-cola because, oh gosh, I was making that mistake to start and I just thought I'm really not enjoying my time out. I feel full, I feel gross. It's so much sugar, it wasn't doing it for me, so those I love.
Speaker 1:I love non-alcoholic guinness. Oh my god, it's so refreshing. If you haven't tried it, I love it. I think it is my favourite. I'm a bit of a boy drinker because I've always loved beer or lava and also I'm allergic to white spirits, so it's easier for me to drink that. So yeah, that and a Peroni, and what?
Speaker 2:is the one in London, a Peroni Zero. And what is the one in London, a Peroni yeah.
Speaker 1:But I also really love Trip CBD drinks. Yeah, you can get them anywhere. Trip CBD drinks are great. They're really fruity, refreshing, they just give you a bit of a calm.
Speaker 2:And you feel something. I drink them at Soho House yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we love them. By the pool at Soho House, if you can get near the pool Squatch the rosé in for Trips CBD yeah. Thanks for being my what is it? Interviewer? Co-host. Yeah, but you interviewed me for the ADHD, so thank you for that. Obviously, you're my co-host.
Speaker 2:Thanks for sharing experience, carly, I appreciate that and yours um thanks for listening guys.
Speaker 1:Please keep liking, following and let us know your comments stories. Everything else see you next time. Should we do it again?
Speaker 2:yeah, see you next time.