Drunk Girls Gone Sober
Failure To Launch
Have you ever experienced a wardrobe malfunction in a public setting? We kick off this episode with a laugh-out-loud story from our yoga class that segues into a deeper discussion on overcoming the fear of failure. From the funny to the profound, join us as we share personal anecdotes about breaking societal norms and how these moments helped shape our professional and personal lives. Karleigh and Tarah reveal how they navigated imposter syndrome and self-doubt in their careers as a designer and a makeup artist, respectively. We also discuss the hurdles of maintaining sobriety in stressful environments and the importance of confidence and persistence in achieving success. Tune in for a heartfelt and humorous exploration of the highs and lows of our journeys, both on and off the set.
Thank you so much for your support and for listening to us. please click the follow button if you like us and leave us some feedback in the comments below! we will be back every Thursday with a new episode.
Have you ever experienced a wardrobe malfunction in a public setting? We kick off this episode with a laugh-out-loud story from our yoga class that segues into a deeper discussion on overcoming the fear of failure. From the funny to the profound, join us as we share personal anecdotes about breaking societal norms and how these moments helped shape our professional and personal lives. Karleigh and Tarah reveal how they navigated imposter syndrome and self-doubt in their careers as a designer and a makeup artist, respectively. We also discuss the hurdles of maintaining sobriety in stressful environments and the importance of confidence and persistence in achieving success. Tune in for a heartfelt and humorous exploration of the highs and lows of our journeys, both on and off the set.
Thank you so much for your support and for listening to us. please click the follow button if you like us and leave us some feedback in the comments below! we will be back every Thursday with a new episode.
All right. Hey everybody, I was going to say happy Saturday, because this is when Tara and I have to do our podcast. Now, because we work about 100 hours a week, which is fine.
Speaker 2:Which is fine, blessed and grateful.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I mean mentally draining. Physically draining, spiritually draining, spiritually draining Can't complete all the segments of the Terry's Chocolate Orange, so we've got. You know the issues with that, but we love this and we're here today because this is like our outlet. And we're here to talk about ourselves. Yeah, we love that too. Yeah.
Speaker 2:How's the week been, tara? The week's been, do you know what? I think, maybe different experience for everyone in the room. I've had a phenomenal week, as has everyone in your crowd room, and we will explain what a crowd room is, because we realise we talk film and not everyone who listens is in the same biz as us.
Speaker 1:We do forget that when we're talking about this, we forget to add context. So a crowd room in tv and film is the room where. So all those blurs on your screen behind the main actors are the background, and we have 110 prominent people to get ready. Um, and I'm the head of hair and makeup for the crowd room and I've got amazing like 30 makeup artists doing getting everyone ready. Everyone's a character, but you guys only see a second of them on the screen.
Speaker 2:So but they all come through hair and makeup, just like everyone else on the screen. Everyone on screen goes through hair and makeup, must sit down in the chair, and that's and they have have detailed looks.
Speaker 1:These people have got tattoos, piercings that we're putting on them. We're giving them hair colour fades, everything. It's the same treatment as an actor, but for very much less time on the screen, and they also have to spend their whole day on camera. My cat just ran in the room making it under the sofa, um, and so we're working. We're doing like really long days we start. We're starting at like quarter to six in the morning.
Speaker 2:I'm waking up at four o'clock and that's not the Pilates wife of no life that I manifest, but, point being, I've had a great week and everyone in your crowd room, carly, is having it.
Speaker 1:Good vibes yeah, I've had so much nice feedback, like everyone has said. They've had such a lovely time and and I got lots of emails from background artists to our second assistant director, who is the person that is in charge of all the people they bring in and hiring, and they've sent emails saying what a lovely crowd room. They've never been treated so well I know I don't treat anyone well.
Speaker 2:what Tara?
Speaker 1:What do you mean?
Speaker 2:Of course you do, because you've had the emails Only Mondays to Fridays, only Mondays to Fridays, and then she's like fuck you all, savage for the rest of the week. I'm gone, I'm gone.
Speaker 1:Yeah. So How's your week been? Really, really tough, really tough. I think there's a lot that goes on in the background when everyone's having a nice time and I'm constantly in meetings and obviously doing a lot of the paperwork and budgeting and and pleasing producers, the adult designer.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we call them the grown-ups?
Speaker 1:um, we are not the grown-ups. They have the power, they have the money, but we must ask for the money when we need the money to actually get our jobs done. It's tricky, it's a constant battle, but it's the nature of the game. That is TV and film world. They have to save as much money as possible, but you constantly need more things and when you get going on a production, first of all you're learning what you need, and it starts from bare minimum and you have to basically beg for all these learning what you need and it starts from bare minimum and you have to basically beg for all these things that you need. And but in it we don't like begging and that doesn't work. So you have to strategically show them how it doesn't work and how timings of getting people ready work. Is this tricky guys? It's tricky life.
Speaker 2:But your week in general has been okay.
Speaker 1:No, I've been really ill, okay, and I've been like really ill. So, guys, I have I said on the last podcast I have developed leprosy. That is obviously a joke. However, I've got this thing all over my body and it is not good. It's this rash and it's like I can only describe it as raised sore lumps. You look like a leopard. Yeah, I do look like a leopard. And now, um and with the amount of filming, I just put it off going to the doctors and I finally went and they've given me steroids, but I also got this cold flu thing with it. So, you know, I could I could barely see at work don't worry, guys, I'm happy and healthy yep, sarah's happy and healthy.
Speaker 1:But yeah, I've got now got these like leopard print spots. They've gone down, though. They've gone down, but they've now gone white and the doctor basically told me that's the steroid because I carry the cold sore virus and I got a cold sore randomly, even though I haven't had one for like five years. This thing has gone all over my body. It's called like petea rosea, something like that, and um, she was like so there's just nothing you can do about it. But I was like what, obviously, I'm saying your gut health is something to do with your gut health.
Speaker 2:It possibly is my body reacting to filming.
Speaker 1:Everything on your skin is from the gut, from the inside, but they're like we just don't know, and it lasts six weeks and you get a fever and nausea with it. I was thank you very much, so I've had it for three weeks. So I've got another three weeks of this. So you know, I shall not be wearing summer clothes.
Speaker 2:What a roller coaster. Don't worry, it's raining. Yeah, have to. Um, should we talk about this week's topic that we're going to enlighten everyone on? Yeah, so we're going to cover.
Speaker 1:Being scared to fail is being scared to start yeah, fear is a big one for everyone, isn't it? Everyone's just got constant anxiety about failing all the time. Everyone like anyone.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and it really hinders you in the fact that if I've been writing every year before New Year's Eve what my following year's goals are going to be and there's always two or three that I've always I've been writing every year before New Year's Eve what my following year's goals are going to be, and there's always two or three that I've always I've thought been too big or too wild or I don't know where to start or how the fuck would I do this? Even when you mentioned the podcast, you knew the plan, you had a roadmap to do it. I was like but how do we do it? But how Just do it?
Speaker 1:It's fear though. So then you, we do it. But how? But that's do it? That's it's fear, though. So then you just do it. Stop procrastinating about stuff and just get on with it. Once you take that fast little step, it's almost like going to the gym. You don't want to go, but you just fucking put your shoes on and go there.
Speaker 2:We are going to do confessions, oh right okay.
Speaker 1:but so we we've started this thing where we like to do confessions and mind guys, obviously we are going through our journey of non-drinking. We haven't said that we will not drink forever. We're just trying to non-drink and see how it goes. Yeah, and I had a very stressful moment on Wednesday night and this is our outlet and I feel like sometimes, when you can't hold space for yourself or there's too much coming at you and you can't even think and it's so overwhelming, the answer is wine. I agree, everyone can relate to that. Everyone like has normal, has a glass of wine wine Wednesdays, wine time so many names for it, but it's a bit different when you've got the brain worm.
Speaker 1:Anyway, I ordered wine on wednesday night. Delivery delivery should not be able to. I think they should just stop ordering alcohol. They should just stop delivering it. Yeah, but it's very accessible capitalism yeah, so much, much capitalism.
Speaker 2:The global conglomerates are making us weak.
Speaker 1:What the conglomerates?
Speaker 2:The global conglomerates. Conglomerates, conglomerates the big companies are taking all our money. Yeah, Capitalism, they're making us ill and actually well, everything mainly while the government makes you ill.
Speaker 1:They don't reduce the sugar and things.
Speaker 2:The things that they're telling you. They just want you to be a level of ill. All the time. I was actually quite stressed out that we're working when we're meant to be um voting.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's the other thing. You know, we can't go and vote when we're filming you can't, you can't, you can't see the doctor I might get a bit of you know, back backlash here because no one wants to be the people that are selling us. They're not actually telling us because I can see the doctors, but with the amount of pressure and work that you have, you feel you can't go because you're trapped, just trapped. So you do it to yourself. But you know, health is wealth and we need to put that first.
Speaker 2:And we're not rich bitches right now.
Speaker 1:When it comes to that, yeah, but I ordered the wine, yeah, and I got it. And I was also really ill and I stared at this bottle of wine for like 15 minutes and I was like, do I drink the wine? Do I drink the wine? I also have work in the morning. What am I doing?
Speaker 2:so the fact that you had to have the whole back and forth with yourself, and this is like one of the hardest, I think, moments I've had about not drinking.
Speaker 1:Anyway, guys, I poured the wine down the sink. Brava, thank you. So you know. One day at a time. One day at a time and. I saved myself for that day, thank god, because I've just been so ill I can't. Even you would have felt so. I wouldn't have been able to cope, so it's good, that's. That's my confession.
Speaker 2:Tara, my confession is well, I think I'm I'm too sober for my own good and it's getting boring. I want life to be spicy and I'm just thinking of all the other ways I can be toxic. Like, what are these loopholes that I can introduce into my life? That, um, you know, I'm doing all the exercise. I'm doing like all the spiritual, emotional crap.
Speaker 1:Spiritual, emotional fucking crap, and it's really fucking boring and emotional fucking crap, and it's really fucking boring and we're rebellious people.
Speaker 2:I've got to a point where I just feel very healed, like I'm meeting You're so healed.
Speaker 2:Everyone in the crowd. I'm in my healing era. Everyone in the crowd room is so great People that I haven't met before talking to them and you get to know each other so well. You're with each other for so long, so many hours during the day and I'm hearing myself. I'm having an out-of-body experience. I'm bored. I'm bored of hearing me talk about how healed I am. It's not interesting for anyone. So I'm just trying to think of more toxic ways to you know up and obviously that's probably not the best and I will probably like trip over at some point and do something silly.
Speaker 1:But, um, but she hasn't drank, whereas I have.
Speaker 2:I've almost drank. I've thought about it, but I don't want to be the reason for me drinking to be a man, because fuck that I know, and this is the thing that you end up having with yourself the argument like what?
Speaker 1:No, I'm not going to punish me. Do you have an argument out loud with?
Speaker 2:yourself, cause you talk out loud a lot.
Speaker 1:I talk out loud a lot sometimes I do, but I'm mainly I try to write it down so I can work out my thoughts. But yeah, continue your toxic talk.
Speaker 2:Oh right, Thank you. So I have, just I don't want to say it.
Speaker 1:You don't have to say it, you're just. You're finding toxic things to do and you're having lots of brain worm thoughts about them. Just playing with the worm? Yeah, she's playing with fire. She's playing with things that are dangerous to do, which aren't drinking, but they are other things.
Speaker 2:I haven't been burnt yet, no, so fire, fire, baby. Yeah, maybe I'll have another update on it on the next episode, who knows?
Speaker 1:But also guys, I've got a really funny story Because last night which actually helped me a lot After work I went to the gym and I went to the spa and then I booked a yoga class. So I realized I was late for the yoga class when I was getting out of my swimming costume. So I quickly got dressed and put my leggings on without any underwear.
Speaker 2:Tara says this is common, so many people do it. I also know a car salesman that sometimes goes commando. I didn't tell her that bit before. I was like why would you wear a suit with no underwear? Underneath it feels free, freeing.
Speaker 1:Maybe that's what you should do with your rebellious. Just start wearing no underwear, no bra. I do that in the summer anyway. Great, we have rules of that rules for work.
Speaker 2:I won't do that at work. Yeah, I won't be wearing a dress at work anyway. Um, wait, what was I gonna say? Yeah, loads of people go to the gym with no underwear interesting so I haven't done that I understand the sweat thing.
Speaker 1:There's nothing to catch it oh well, guys, I wore, I quickly put on my grey leggings and top for the yoga class and ran up to the class and it was this lovely, eccentric old lady doing the class and it was mind, body and spirit, which is what I need for yoga. It was a very slow class anyway. She's like open your legs like a butterfly, so I'm laying on my mat. Like open your legs like a butterfly, so I'm laying on my mat facing her, open my legs like a butterfly, and she comes up to me and she goes darling, I can see your vagina. Oh my God. I was mortified. I was like, oh my God, I did not think that you could see through these leggings.
Speaker 2:But that's what I don't understand. How did she?
Speaker 1:Well, because they were from Primark and they were what were in my bag and I put them on quickly and they were very light grey, but they had the little holes in Carly, I know, anyway. So I showed thank God, only my vagina to the Instructor. Instructor, because there weren't that many people in the class. But, yeah, classic me Very funny. And you gave her a free show.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I gave her a free show, could have earned some money. Well, that is not being fearful, I guess. There you go Of anything.
Speaker 1:I mean, I was also so tired. I was like, oh well, I have to continue this class because I need this yoga class more than you know. Covering my vagina Everyone's got a vagina. Say what, there we go.
Speaker 2:Okay, so should I kick off by asking you Carly what have you wanted to do at some point in your life, but you've been fearful of doing and therefore failing to do it. Oh, you've achieved everything I have been fearful of no, I haven't achieved everything.
Speaker 1:We're like a centimetre into achievement in life. Yeah, there's always stuff to achieve. I think it really depends. There's a lot of stuff that I'm fearful of doing. I was told to be a designer for years and years and years and get an agent, and years and years and get an agent. And I was approached by people asking to sign me on their books for two years before I actually did it because I was so fearful of failing. Yeah, and then I just I ended up in a position where I took over as a designer on um, a series of top boy and that was it. I was thrown into it and even then I still like rejected agents for about another year.
Speaker 1:But why did you do that? I have the fear and the fear of the oh god, what if I'm not good enough at this? Yeah, and it's scary. So, yeah, I delay, I delay stuff, but, um, you know, in the end I've got an agent, so I have an agent, but it took you two years, but it took me two years to get one but you just jump in and you do it and, um, I don't know what the fears are.
Speaker 1:There's so many fears around it. It's like you know you can do it and everyone tells you you're going to be great at it, but you're still scared to try. So I'm a big delayer of things.
Speaker 2:I'm scared of and how do you think it manifests in other areas of your life the fear of failure? Do you know?
Speaker 1:I think you always think you're not good enough. Personally, from my perspective, I'm like question if I'm good enough. But the point is you're supposed to fail at stuff. That's like. Once you do fail, you're like okay, that actually wasn't a big deal and you try again. And anyone that has been incredibly successful in life has failed multiple times before they were successful you only hear about the success story.
Speaker 2:You never hear about the 60 times before. Yeah, trying um, because if you don't try, you don't, you don't know exactly yeah so what about you, tara?
Speaker 1:what is your fear?
Speaker 2:failure or failure. Well, I think very similar to you, I think, imposter syndrome. If we're looking at it from a professional standpoint, I think imposter syndrome is huge and even talking to other makeup artists about it, it never leaves you because you're always comparing yourself to other people, which I know comparison is the what's's the saying?
Speaker 1:I was going to say the spice of life, but I just don't think that's what it is.
Speaker 2:I don't think so.
Speaker 1:Comparison is the something to something, and someone listening will understand um so please tell us what that is, because I am lost, we'll leave that with you guys.
Speaker 2:Yeah, comparison is huge. When, quite often, if there's a break between jobs and you're kind of out of habit of doing something and you go back into work which was, I definitely felt, coming back into this job after the strikes it's almost like oh, can I do it? How do my hands work? Yes, um, and also the fear of starting. It's like the podcast. I wanted to start writing again, writing my blog. I haven't done that. I, um, and personally I'm not in a position in life, um, like, I want to buy a house. Haven't done that. I want to be in a relationship. I'm too toxic, can't do that. Um, there's just so much.
Speaker 1:There's so much. But I think we find a fear with everything and this is what causes the anxiety in us and I think when you overwhelm yourself with everything, I procrastinate. You think you need all these things at once. That's when you're it's. It's so overwhelming, you get paralyzed and you don all these things at once. That's when you're it's. It's so overwhelming, you get paralyzed and you don't do anything about anything. That's how. Yeah, procrastination, I try to keep it in the day and I try to just do a priorities list and just tackle one thing at a time. And Tara, I've bought a house. It's not worth it. Oh my god. I've just told Tara I think I've had my house for two years and I've probably paid off a thousand's.
Speaker 2:not worth it. Oh my God, I've just told Tara, I think.
Speaker 1:I've had my house for two years and I've probably paid off a thousand pounds on my mortgage. So they trick you guys. They totally trick you, because you're just paying off interest. So how are you paying it off by the time you're 65? How?
Speaker 2:I keep hearing about these MLMs and multi-level marketing scheme. Level marketing scheme. Maybe it's when, um, you know, like these makeup brands, yeah, they, um, they tell people to our, eventually, are basically their sales people, but they have to buy the stock and then the people have to hire a team, like, recruit a team, yeah, multi-level, oh yeah, yeah so it's just conning people, yeah, yeah pyramid scheme pyramid, totally pyramid scheme, egyptian.
Speaker 1:But I think you all need to know if you have not bought a house, it's a lie. They do not give you the mortgage. Why do they do the rate at 35 years? And it's fixed for only two years? Because it needs to be the rate forever. That's the only way you can pay off the huge amount of money that you've got the debt on.
Speaker 1:I've also never been educated about this. It's such a hard education. This is why and it's so confusing and I had no idea Couldn't even tell you how I got a mortgage anymore from how I did it. You just do it. Another thing fear with doing the house thing. Huge, just put it off, just put it off, put it off, put it off. Yeah, and then you just I, the first step I did, actually it was our friend Janine. Um, she was like just call the broker, you can get a mortgage. You've got the deposit, you're in a contract, just call the broker. And I was like, oh, I don't want to. I think I put it off for six months. Called the broker, he was like yeah, no problem, you can get a mortgage. I was like what?
Speaker 2:I remember coming back into the crowd room on that job and you were like, yeah, I'm just shopping for houses.
Speaker 1:I was like, well, yeah, he was like just shop for houses and then get back to me and I was like, okay, house 64 that I saw you saw 64 oh my god, the stuff you get in london for half a million pounds is nothing, nothing. A shoebox, it's a shoebox and I lucked out on what I got you got very absolutely lucked out like um, it was just very fortunate circumstances.
Speaker 1:The lady had died. Basically, the lady there was this huge is the biggest house I'd seen out of all the tiny shoeboxes I've got and the lady did.
Speaker 1:The family just want a quick set yeah, so the obviously there's a thing called probate and they have to wait a year before they get their money. So they were renting it out and obviously I think there were four siblings and they really wanted to split their money. So I offered like a hundred grand under because I was so sick of shopping for houses. I was like they're never going to take it anyway. What's the point? I'm not going higher. Yeah, and they accepted my first offer and it was off the market and I was like what the actual f? But it was this. It's just my dreamy, dreamy first place and I was so lucky and I love it and I love my neighbors. There's a community, the streets lovely, it's not like crazy, it's safe and I'm happy it's just an example of what happens when you take the jump.
Speaker 2:You offered a hundred grand under and you thought they were never going to accept it, but you took the leap of faith.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I think that's just just stop caring, stop being scared about it and do it. Stop giving a shit. Yeah, what's the worst that can happen. People say, no, okay, cool, try again. Okay, fuck you bye.
Speaker 2:Worrying is worshipping what great saying worrying is worshipping the problem. So basically, fuck off, don't worry, don't care, yeah, everyone. No one's opinions matter, do you hon?
Speaker 1:I mean with that. I actually think I learned that really early on. I don't know if I've ever said this, but at school girls are mean right. I went to a girls school, but yeah, I didn't go to a girls school, thank god. But girls is just mean and you have no idea what you're coming into.
Speaker 2:And then they just love to bitch the word 10 or 11 years old, the word yeah, but we don't know what that, what that is, and the word bullying literally did not exist at my school, so it was just never, never spoken about. Not that I think there was bullying, but me and my very good friends, oh my God, we had so much bullying. We just didn't know what it meant. So it was probably going on, but it was just all in a very different way, like a bitchy backhanded way, although I've got very good friends from that school.
Speaker 1:Yeah, no, I've got a great group of friends that are my best friends, like my day dots since I've known, since I was tiny. Yeah, but at school I did get bullied and carly, I mean it's it's, you know whatever. It's not that deep, because it's not that deep.
Speaker 1:It's not deep, it's actually, it's not that trauma. I learned a really good lesson like going through it that girls uh, I don't know why on earth they, like girls, think they have to compete with each other. I think it's a generational trauma of how women have never had their rights and so they pitted against each other. And you're 11, you don't know this, and you're 12, and you're 13, but girls bully and in the air it was.
Speaker 1:It's that bitchy, underhand bullying where people would go oh, so and so said this about something. And then I remember one day, I think I was like in year eight, and these girls came up to me and they were like you said this about and I went yeah, I did yeah, and they did not know what to say and it was the biggest lesson of my life, because they were like oh, and I was like yeah, and, and that was it. And from that moment on I went on to be like yeah, and, and I thought I'm never gonna lie, I'm always gonna tell my truth and if I've said something, I'll own it, and I definitely do that in life don't know, 100% to a fault everyone knows to a fault sometimes.
Speaker 1:Yeah, like, if I've done something, I will own up to it, but if I say something, I usually mean it and I'll say it to your face. I am not two-faced no, and you say it with conviction, and it's scary work party is scary, but not even I'm just think I am a black and white person and no bullshit skips a lot of stuff and I have a fear around that.
Speaker 2:A lot of people aren't like that, and maybe people that tend to be more people pleasers or like to avoid conflict. I think I'm fine with conflict.
Speaker 1:I'm not so black and white like you, though, no, and often I have a lot of good friends around me, you being one of them that I do have to double check myself sometimes to see how appropriate it is, because I think I've got such a thick skin. I think other people can just hear what I'm about to say because I can take it, but often there are lots of sensitive people. So I've learned that in my years that I need to be slightly more sensitive towards people's feelings.
Speaker 2:Check yourself before you wreck yourself. Girl, exactly, yeah okay.
Speaker 1:So, tara, do you have any more strategies that you can share to overcome fear?
Speaker 2:I do, rather than telling everyone to fuck off. I learned this thing um quite a while ago and I've taught it to a couple of friends who were in need. If they're going to like a job interview or even on a first date, that the butterflies in your stomach that are similar to fear, you just have to tell yourself I'm excited, I'm so excited, I'm so excited, I'm so excited. Yeah, because the butterflies in your stomach are the same as those as excitement.
Speaker 1:They are the same. So you just have to trick yourself and be delusional Always be delusional into thinking you're excited rather than you're fearful Brainwash yourself and actually that does work for me because I get that before any job I start, yeah, especially as a daily, or you you know my first day as on a big production, and it never goes away. I always turn that into excitement because I'm like yay opportunity, this is gonna be fun.
Speaker 1:I get to be creative like my fear. I often put it into action of excitement and use the fear to create and you are very creative and it's overflowing.
Speaker 1:Only one of you and ditto you too really yeah, everyone in everyone in our crowd room so creative and I love, like I can, I'll get different looks that and I'll pick one of one of the people in the room to do it, because I know their brains and I know what they will see and how they'll create it. So in that aspect of our job I love.
Speaker 2:I think everyone bounces off everyone really well in the room and everyone helps each other.
Speaker 1:And with us. I don't know how many other crowd rooms do this, but I get everyone to work in pairs, don't I? Yeah, I do too, and I'm like like do you know what two heads are better than one? You also do it quicker, but you can add something to each other's work and they create something amazing every time and we just learn so much from each other.
Speaker 2:It's so nice and that also builds your confidence and skills, because there's also someone else alongside going. Oh, that's really good. How did you do that? Yeah, and you're doing so much more than you think you're capable of, and then all of a sudden, um, like that, and we also.
Speaker 1:We have different people, like with different skills, and when people see that as fear because they compare themselves to others like, for instance, I've got someone in the room who's so good at braiding and amazing at Afro hair, and then I've got other people who are so good at makeups and special effects. But when you combine the two, they swap skills and instead of being scared or thinking you're competing with someone else who has a skill that you don don't, you just swap skills and everyone's on the same page.
Speaker 2:Yeah, which we love, which we do, which leads us on to the next point of building confidence as a way to conquer that failure to start, that fear to start, yes, which is part of it, carly, how do you build confidence, or have done in the past where you just felt a bit fearful, or what insecurities have been eating you a bit.
Speaker 1:I am all fake it till you make it. I also have this pure belief that just do your best and give it a go and actually you, you'll end up surprising yourself. Because I don't, I will. I'm a I. I once had a designer say to me look, I, I love that, you, you, you love to jump in on everything, but maybe you should stick to something that is right, like that you know you can do and I was like absolutely not, because I am an all-rounder and I can do, and I will do it all yeah
Speaker 1:and also like why should you be limited to something that they think you're good at when you have multiple skills and and it's and you can do it and you will surprise yourself every time. So and I genuinely always love trying new stuff and I can do it. It comes to us naturally because we are creatives and you don't have to have done the three-year degree to learn it. You learn a lot. I have done the three-year degree, guys, but you. I did four months, but exactly. But then I hire people now that I've done four months or they've. They've got transferable skills from a salon and now they come into film and we can teach them what they need to learn like, because it's a natural gift and some people are born with it, some people aren't. But when you, when you get those people, they don't have to like.
Speaker 1:I think we were nurtured well. I think we were taught to get our degrees to do this. To do that I certainly was you have to go to university. But now, if you look at people on tiktok who are 10 years old, who are millionaires, talk to us.
Speaker 2:We want a social media manager. Yeah we are having trouble with that. Anyone can help us? Help us, please sorry, karen.
Speaker 1:Yeah, well, that's it really like. I think you can. You just need the fuck it attitude. Yeah, with everything. And when people tell you no and people are trying to push you down into a box, you ignore them because you know you better than anyone. Don't let other people scare you into thinking you can't try something new because you can.
Speaker 2:I also think that you're not the only person in the room with that same thought or feeling yeah, so everyone else is faking it. They're making it like if you're thinking that and you're feeling that, like oh, this is scary or I don't think I can do this, there's also someone else thinking and feeling the same thing, so sod it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and any level you're on, you always level up. You're only leveling up because you've gone against the fear. You don't fear stops you from moving forward. Fear lies to you. I've said this before, absolutely, and you just have to. You just try it. Try anything, because if you, even if you fail, you I always say if you don't quit, you cannot fail. That's a really good one. That is literally my that's. I live by that since I was about 12 if you don't quit, it only makes sense to me that you can succeed, because why would you if you?
Speaker 1:eventually have to succeed.
Speaker 2:So keep doing it, don't quit no, and also and also set your own worth. If you think you're capable of doing it, you are, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise, because who are they to?
Speaker 1:they don't know you, you know you, you know you inside out and you could hear a million no's and it doesn't mean you're not going to succeed. So many, like famous actors, were told no, no, no, no, no. And then they were like well, I don't care, I'm going to keep going. I think daniel gluia was one of these. He was told no, no, no, no, no. It's zach efron. No, no, no, no, no. And they're superstars.
Speaker 2:They didn't even use zach efron's real singing voice.
Speaker 1:I know and he could do like he can do it but he believed in himself um, he also got.
Speaker 2:He was really good looking and he had lots of money yeah, but people who didn't have lots of money we've got people who sent that we're really good looking, thank you, yeah, thanks, that's us, Thanks us Shining brightly over here. Yeah, confidence, you see, confidence.
Speaker 1:Confidence and setting our work and even just fake your confidence, even if you don't have it, just be bold.
Speaker 2:Fake it till you make it. When I I've got a story of when I was fresh out of university and working in business, yeah, and I was a little very shy, 21-year-old, and I had to go and introduce myself. I was at like a networking event and I had to go and introduce myself and speak to the CEO of Virgin Atlantic it wasn't Richard Branson to hand it over and my boss, who couldn't make it. He said you need to get the contact. And I worked for like a small town business that had no right to be doing things with Virgin Atlantic and I just sucked the shit back up inside my ass because I was freaking it, suck it up. And I went over and spoke to him and I made a contact and we got a business meeting Great.
Speaker 1:You're so good at that, though that's one of your secret skills.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so, um what? What was it called swanning? So you can be flapping underneath the water, but just as long as you appear confident. Yeah, and fine, peacocking is that?
Speaker 1:the show your feathers show your feathers.
Speaker 2:Yeah, show your beautiful feathers. We're all very beautiful. Use what you've got kids. Use what you've got kids. Use what you've got If it's tits, if it's ass.
Speaker 1:Actually, on that note, I did so, I have a fear when I was little. When I was younger, I was put into ballet from the age of two Ballet, tap, modern jazz and I was a very shy child, believe it or not. Who would have thought? Who would have remember my mum accidentally leaving me at a ballet class and I was like five and I was terrified and I cried so much. Turned out I was actually supposed to be in the next class but the teacher didn't think to tell me I was in it and I was five and I thought my mum forgot me. But then when I went into ballet and I was in like this prestigious ballet school for where I was from, um, the girls were mean.
Speaker 1:man, yeah, they were mean, and they had show mums and I just shrunk and I was so quiet. But I was actually one of the only ones that was built to be in the Royal Ballet School and I had that opportunity and I was so terrified, all everything it was I refused point blank to go and I refused my mum and the teacher of that ballet school. I was only like 10 maybe, but she said, announced in front of the whole school there is someone that could have been in the Royal Ballet School here but she's too lazy to go yeah, um.
Speaker 1:So I'm so glad I didn't go down that route because I don't think it was a healthy route to be in you would have been in a completely different place.
Speaker 2:It's like the butterfly effect, like where would we have been if the red light was not red 10 years ago?
Speaker 1:Yeah, but I knew my instincts, that I didn't want to do that. But I ultimately ended up in the same industry. In theatre, all my best friends were dancers and I was just on the other side of the camera. I did not like a camera I would cry. And I did not like being on stage I would cry. I think you found your place.
Speaker 1:I think I got resilient when I got to secondary school and then just found that thing where I said just fuck you all and own who you are and always be true to yourself moral of the story trust your gut, trust your gut.
Speaker 2:That is your interest. Everything um. Should we go on to listener questions?
Speaker 1:yeah, okay, let's. So we haven't done this yet, but we need to start implementing listener questions, and tara's got some today so from?
Speaker 2:um, obviously someone else in the industry, because these are industry questions, which those who are not may find this very interesting. They have asked tara and carly which department on set annoys you the most? I would say the most annoying on set? Anyone who's not good looking, because I can't flirt with you and I can't get anything from that is not even an answer.
Speaker 1:That's not a department. That is an actual bias of people with who you are attracted to well, it's not hard but great.
Speaker 2:I love that. So anyone not riddle of you annoys dora or if they can't, that's gonna give so many people complexes if they hear this yeah, but be confident like just this is about being people can not be.
Speaker 1:They could not be the best looking guy, but they can have the most confidence and blend like I've had it before where I'm that it's not remotely my type, but they're, they're so confident they've got the chat and they're funny and that's it.
Speaker 2:They run me over okay, I take it back. If you've got something about you, whether it's looks um, chats um, if you can offer a service like if you're good with your hands, like you're, you could fixing sparks great right.
Speaker 1:Honestly, there's a whole rigors great, you're strong, you can move things. There is a whole thing in tv and film sparks and makeup artists. There's there's an account on instagram called makeup artist means. It is absolutely brilliant we it's like gossip girl of the industry and we still don't know who runs the account, but they give you the most gossip on every production that's going on. So it's called makeup department memes, but they are always posting pictures saying, uh, sparks and makeup artists like the sparks are.
Speaker 2:They are a nightmare they're bred a certain way to see us and look at us like we're prey, and then they pounce and I'm like oh, I'm a victim, I'm a victim, take me, take me.
Speaker 1:I can't help it and honestly, you're always going to have a spark and a make-up artist relationship or a little romance on set it's so common. But they're like proper geezers, they fix stuff, they help you out, 're probably like tradesmen and they've. They have the chat, they have the bants and the flirt and you always end up having like a good time with the spark which leads me on to the next. Oh and a spark sorry context is an electrician oh, yeah, so in real life.
Speaker 1:A spark is an electrician, so they'll, they'll do all the electrics and the lighting which obviously we need. We love, they love helping us. But in the the film world they're called Sparks.
Speaker 2:So that's who they are. And that leads us on to the next question. And this person has said and this must be directed to Carly, because I can't answer this myself Tara has a kind heart, but she has an evil tick in her brain which makes her be toxic. Do you think the tick will ever go? And how many men on set are flirting with tara on the current?
Speaker 1:job. Oh my god. I've said this before, I'll say it again tara has a gift right and actually, yeah, she knows that she she's, she has toxic, that she needs to get out and and she used to do that by drinking, but now she doesn't drink so she finds other ways. She's like the naughty school girl on set but gets away with murder and she's very clever and she gets anything she wants, like she owns all the male departments there. They'll give, they'll. They'll make her a steak for lunch when they're doing jack potatoes for everyone else and you know a spark will come around the house and do a whole lighting from work because she's asked them to. So, yeah, I don't think tara will ever give up that gift. I have been so busy, haven't been on set with her yet. You've got, you've had other gifts and, yeah, I am sure she's, she's made all the friends. But it does help us out quite a lot when she makes these friends in different departments look, it's not what you know, it's who you know.
Speaker 2:Next question, carly do you ever find your ADHD blocks the sound of the person you're having a conversation with when you're out, when the environment is loud, usually in pubs?
Speaker 1:I can't hear anyone when they're talking to me. I've lost, I have. I'm just staring at you. If you are even having a conversation with me at work, I've probably stopped listening to you one minute in. It's the same even in pubs, also, mostly in pubs. If guys come up and talk to me, I'm just, oh, they're chatting shit anyway. And I'm like, oh, why are they not normal people to have a normal conversation? I recently was out and this guy was telling me, oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:I'm like I'm the security of someone really famous. Uh, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:And then I said oh really, because, like usually, you don't go around bragging about that like you're supposed to be their secret security. Oh, I can't say who, but it's actually the prince of dubai. Okay, brilliant, thank you for that you're also off your face. You're like 22, you're not built and you're really just getting on my nerves so if you could go away, that would be fantastic.
Speaker 2:Thank you, goodbye but really that's got everything to do with the guy and not anything to do with your adhd no, but that he's right in the adhd thing.
Speaker 1:It is a. It's a common thing that if you and a lot of people have with adhd, you can't hear them. You can't hear them, you've lost your train of thought. You're off somewhere else, you're thinking about where you're going in five minutes or what you're doing later tonight and then you're like, yeah, great convo, goodbye, yeah. So, tara, yes, does anyone in your life stress you out that makes you want to drink? Oh, good question, great question. And and why do they make?
Speaker 2:you feel like that. Um, that's really relevant because there has been someone, which I've touched on on the last episode, that has made me want to drink and say fuck it all and, yeah, throw it all in the fire and up in the air yeah um, I think it's definitely recognizing my triggers, and those triggers are men. So, um, even probably the person sending him these questions has been in a break once or twice.
Speaker 1:I think they know they want to trigger you.
Speaker 2:I think they know they want to. This person has purposely asked me not to mention him or speak about him on this podcast. He's unknown, but he is so baiting himself. He just I think he wants the attention.
Speaker 1:He loves it too. He's playing with you and he knows how to play with you. I love it.
Speaker 2:He wants the clout, um, but anyway, it's not him that actually makes me want to drink. It was someone else and it's definitely a guy, and if it's someone hurts my heart, then I think I have the urge to fall back yeah what about you? Who is?
Speaker 1:it. Um, do you know what? It probably usually is a guy that will trigger me. Um, there is no one at the moment that can trigger me because I'm not even dating. I'm so just loving my own time I'm very, I'm independent, so good, right now that I'm, you know, if it comes, fantastic, but I'm not looking so, so I'm pretty good. The only people that obviously hinder me at the moment are constraints at work and budgets, budgets.
Speaker 2:Budgets is.
Speaker 1:Budgets you almost used my vocabulary, but I'm pretty sure everyone has this problem in all their job types.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's problems are relative and no matter how little or how small they are, like they're valid. They're valid and those were good listener questions. Thank you very much to those who sent them in so what are the key takeaways from this app?
Speaker 1:tara?
Speaker 2:my key takeaway is don't let the fear get the best of you, because you won't achieve anything. If you don't start, you don't achieve, and you never know what you're capable of, which is probably a lot more than you think.
Speaker 1:And mine is don't take life too seriously, like literally fuck it. Have a fuck it attitude. Always, always try. So what if you fail? It doesn't matter, you've got a million more goes to succeed. Just do it guys.
Speaker 2:And there's always tomorrow if you fuck it today.
Speaker 1:Exactly, yay, that's it. That's it, so thank you for listening. Tune in next week we need a social media manager. Please help us.
Speaker 2:Because I had to. One lied to me, one took my money, one conned me classic Tara's life really yeah, what's new? And on that note see you next week almost.