Ever had an awkward encounter that left you pondering the importance of respecting others' health? We kick off our summer episode with just that—a personal story that underscores why it's essential to use sunscreen, stay hydrated, and continue to protect ourselves from COVID and other germs. We get real about the basics of health and safety, emphasizing the importance of personal boundaries in these ever-evolving times. Beyond just physical health, we delve into the emotional toll of getting caught up in gossip and others' drama, highlighting the need to set boundaries to protect your own peace and focus on personal growth.
Ready to reclaim your time and energy from the clutches of meaningless chatter? We explore the blurred lines between harmless family tea and the soul-draining impact of irrelevant gossip. Discover how to maintain intimacy and selectively share your true self to safeguard against deceit in relationships. Ending on a motivational note, we remind our listeners that being perceived as difficult often signifies discernment and strength. For those seeking further support, the Turnaround Project offers life coaching to guide you on your journey toward improvement. Tune in for an episode filled with insights, love, and encouragement aimed at helping you maintain your focus on personal growth and positivity.
Ever had an awkward encounter that left you pondering the importance of respecting others' health? We kick off our summer episode with just that—a personal story that underscores why it's essential to use sunscreen, stay hydrated, and continue to protect ourselves from COVID and other germs. We get real about the basics of health and safety, emphasizing the importance of personal boundaries in these ever-evolving times. Beyond just physical health, we delve into the emotional toll of getting caught up in gossip and others' drama, highlighting the need to set boundaries to protect your own peace and focus on personal growth.
Ready to reclaim your time and energy from the clutches of meaningless chatter? We explore the blurred lines between harmless family tea and the soul-draining impact of irrelevant gossip. Discover how to maintain intimacy and selectively share your true self to safeguard against deceit in relationships. Ending on a motivational note, we remind our listeners that being perceived as difficult often signifies discernment and strength. For those seeking further support, the Turnaround Project offers life coaching to guide you on your journey toward improvement. Tune in for an episode filled with insights, love, and encouragement aimed at helping you maintain your focus on personal growth and positivity.
Hatch kids, hatch wife. Yo, you good yo, you are such a liar A. Liar A liar, let's go, and that's on Pivotal.
Speaker 2:
Hood Chatter.
Speaker 1:
What's going on, family? I'm back. I'm your host, doc J, and we are back for another episode of Hood Chatter, where we talk about some of the things that you think about, but don't say out loud. Ok, it's official, seems like the nice weather is here to stay. So be safe, be smart and protect yourself Sunscreen, water, right, and remember that COVID is still out here and all other kinds of germs. And just make sure to wash your hands and wear a mask if you feel like it, because that's your business, and listen. Family.
Speaker 1:
Refrain from drinking off of people and I know in some social circles, people like to share blunt, but I would be rather cautious about that these days and let me say this If you don't feel well, if you're sick or have cold symptoms, stay at home. And if you can't stay at home, be considerate to other people and stay out their face and maybe put a mask on. Don't attempt to go out and get in a cypher with your people, like that's just rude and inconsiderate and that's how shit gets passed around for real. Cover your mouth when you cough or sneeze. Be courteous to other people, right, because not only are you being courteous to them, but you helping to protect yourself. And if you have to tell someone to back up or decline from smoking or drinking with them, it just is what it is like. Don't feel bad at all, because it's better to do that than for you to wake up with a cold. Right, right, let me tell you this.
Speaker 1:
I saw this girl one day and I said hey, boo, how you doing right. She ran up on me, gave me a hug, gave me a kiss on my cheek and I said what's going on? Her response was oh, I think I'm catching a cold. What you say to me, you think you catching a cold. What you say to me, you think you catching a cold Like you gotta be kidding me. You should have seen me now trying to hold my breath. And let me tell you, I'm a bit of a hypochondriac.
Speaker 1:
Now I'm at home taking Mucinex and drinking Airborne, trying to prevent from catching somebody else's germs, and here I am just trying to be nice and say hello. Like when I think about it, bro, I'm still pissed off about that. Like, how rude is that? I digress Because that's not even the topic for today, but I just want us to be safe out there, because I know the sun is out and we outside, but sometimes we forget how to act outside. Ok, so it's just us today, right, and I thought it would be befitting to start the summer off with some much needed advice, because everything is amplified in the summer, right, and there's a difference in a hot summer meaning heat and then a hot summer meaning drama. So today's topic is that's not my problem, that is not my problem.
Speaker 1:
Okay, now, consciously and unconsciously, we get too involved and take on too much of other people's shit. Now, y'all know we love to hear some juice, some gossip, some burning hot tea, but do we ever stop to think how other people's tea affects us? Because, admit, if we get some tea that's hot enough. Because, admit, if we get some tea that's hot enough, we might lose hours on the phone or texting, talking about whatever that is, and that adds absolutely no value to our life. And let me say this gossip and spilling tea is not a female thing, because, believe it or not, men gossip and spill tea just as much, if not more, than women do. So let's, let's just call a spade a spade. I hate to hear gender assigned to gossip, because I have heard so many dudes with their boys in a circle and the shade and the gossip and the tea come flying at you so fast. You got to duck before it hits you in the face, like for real, and you know how it is right. You could be minding your business and all of a sudden somebody just walk up to you or call you on the phone and the tea just spills out like verbal diarrhea. Now let's not confuse what I'm saying, because exchanging family tea check I'm good with that. And exchanging tea in your friendship circle check I'm good with that. And exchanging tea in your friendship circle check I'm good with that too.
Speaker 1:
But I'm talking about that irrelevant, mundane conversation that you have about the girl in the neighborhood that's sleeping with somebody's baby daddy or husband, or that dude that's cheating and got that girl pregnant, or you know that seemingly straight guy that's now in a whole bunch of gay rumors. Now if you're out in your social settings and the kettle starts to boil, please get that tea. Ear hustle, that shit. Like I'm not talking about that. But when that becomes the highlight of all of your conversations, that's when it becomes a problem, right? And in addition to the gossip and tea, whatever you want to call it then there's those friends, that shit family too, that just suck you into their nonsense.
Speaker 1:
Because how many times in life have you gotten into an altercation with someone over one of your other friends, or you lose a friend because of someone in your circle who has ruined the dynamic, right? And how often do we find that we don't like somebody or we judge them or have some negative thoughts about them, not because they did something to us, but because of some shit you heard or remember that they did to somebody else, like bro? We got to stop that, because we talk about even all the crazy stuff that our little, you know alcoholic family member does, but then we don't put the same effort into trying to help them. Now, I know, on the sidebar, everybody can't be helped, but you see where I'm going with that. Right, and I said it before and I'll say it again we have to be careful what and who we listen to and what information we decide to eat and digest, because other people's shit can become your unwanted problem.
Speaker 1:
And I'm gonna give you a perfect example how many times in life have you given one of your friends advice on their relationship? Because they came to you for the advice, right? You listen to their saga and you see all the patterns, then you state your claim to find out. Not only do they not like your advice, they don't want it, and sometimes you ruin the friendship over this ignorance. Now, this is my opinion and this depends on your people and the type of relationship you have. But you could give your friends generic relationship advice, but once your advice becomes too specific, you might end up losing a friend. Or they listen to your advice, agree with you, and then turn around and do the same thing, or go back to the person that they swore that they believe in, because but when you think about it, none of this shit had anything to do with you, and then you spend countless hours talking about their situation to potentially lose your friend, or just realize that the whole interaction was a waste of time.
Speaker 1:
So I'm not saying don't be supportive to your friends, but pick and choose your battles and know what friends you want to give advice to, because sometimes that's not necessarily something that you should do. And remember some talks are not necessarily a problem, so just let them vent and maybe that's all they need, because sometimes we want to help people and other times we just nosy right and we want to hear the tea, and other times we just nosy right and we want to hear the tea. But either way, we don't always realize how other people's shit rubs off on us and I have left friends behind because all they do is talk shit about other people and I don't have time for that. Like not, not at this stage in the game. I'm trying to get better, do better and be better, and I can't do that when I'm overwhelmed and bombarded with somebody else's nonsense. Like I just can't do that Right, and I know, y'all know that person, that friend, when they call you.
Speaker 1:
Look at the phone. You have to make a conscious decision on whether or not you answer the phone, because you already know what it is. It's going to be some long, drawn out something that's going to absolutely drain you. Or you do pick up the phone and when you get off the phone you're absolutely exhausted. That's the shit I'm talking about, listen. I have a coworker that always has something to say about something and before she finishes a sentence, I ask her is this something that I need to know, or does this have anything to do with me? Real talk, I have too much shit to do and to worry about during the day, and so do you Some stuff you just don't need to hear and involve yourself in because you could just be flying high, right, and if someone else's nonsense shows up and knocks you right off your pedestal, that's crazy.
Speaker 1:
Now don't get me wrong, and I'm not telling you don't listen to drama or ear hustle, the shade being thrown, but don't let those things consume you. Give it a quick laugh. You know I roll a couple of yo. That shit is crazy, right, but then keep it moving like. It's okay to laugh at some crazy shit, but don't let other people's nonsense become your dwelling place. I'm'm going to say that again Don't let other people's nonsense become your dwelling place. Now there are some people I won't even associate with anymore, not because they're bad people or because there's any love loss. But I don't have time for the bullshit.
Speaker 1:
Some people get life from other people's drama or their misery, which is absolutely pathetic. There has to be more to life than throwing somebody else under the bus or constantly highlighting somebody else's who, what, where and whys. Right, right, because you remember when we were kids that childhood game telephone, telephone, telephone. You know where. You sit, in a circle and one person would whisper something and then pass it on, but by the time the last person got the story, it was completely different than what it started as, and oftentimes that's what happens with gossip, and what started as an innocent thing can sometimes end up completely different.
Speaker 1:
Now, on the flip side of this, if you're on the receiving end and you're the person who's being talked about, fuck them, and let me say that loud fuck them Like really, because over the course of my life I have been the center of more gossip than I can remember, and if I had a dollar for the amount of times people talk shit about me, I would be a millionaire. Real talk People talk shit about me. Well, they still do. But people talk shit about me when I was present and when I was absent, shout out to Meg Thee Stallion. But they talked about shit that they heard about or stuff they thought or shit they made up and let me say this, being gay from an urban neighborhood or from the hood, people were only too happy to participate in the fuckery and I'm not going to lie, dealing with that amount of constant chatter was a lot growing up and unbeknownst to some people, they were a real big source of depression and anxiety for some time, but I finally realized one day that my life was being governed by what other people had to say about me and I realized that has nothing to do with them.
Speaker 1:
So why do I care what they think? Right, I've learned over the years to prioritize me. Right, I've learned over the years to prioritize me. And that might sound selfish, but we have to work and do that sometime, because we got the family, sometimes school relationships, finances, whatever and we put all of that stuff before ourselves. And to think that gossip, that just falls right in line with that. And that's one of the reasons that we're so obsessed with social media, because not only do we have to know, but we want to be the first to know everything. Right, and that's what makes room for TMZs and Dish Nations and, you know, shade Room and all that kind of stuff. All of these platforms. They spew news about celebrities, right, and they speak about these people like they know them personally.
Speaker 1:
And then we sit there on the receiving end waiting with bated breath. Now, it's one thing hearing about a story in current events, right, but who has time to invest energy in finding out what other people are doing all the time? To invest energy in finding out what other people are doing all the time, when we could really be investing that same energy and being the best version of ourselves or our most authentic self, because it would be different if we were invested in things that helped us along the way in our lives or careers. But we're committed to hearing the latest and the greatest about every time. Dick and Diddy. Right, we got to pump the brakes on that, because if we invested half the time in ourselves, as we did to listen in to the nonsense that other people have going on, we would be much better equipped to deal with our own shit.
Speaker 1:
And I don't know about you, but at this stage in the game, I seek joy and peace, real talk. I don't care if it's a pair of socks. If it's not bringing me joy, it got to go. And we got to do the same thing with people, anyone or anything that is stifling your peace. Throw the deuces up and tell them exactly that Peace, all right, family. Before we get out of here, you know what we're going to do. We're going to get into some good old questions, so hold on, because you know I'm going to bring the heat. So let's do it.
Speaker 1:
If your spouse presents you with a prenup before your wedding, would you sign it? If your spouse presented you with a prenup before your wedding, would you sign it? If your spouse presented you with a prenup before your wedding, would you sign it? Now I know that makes a difference. If both of y'all have money Right Because nobody wants to be in a Mary J Blige situation Can do Assholecomorgnetedu Let me throw that in there. But I don't know If we both on the same playing field or we high school sweethearts. You know, or we've been together forever while you was building the company. You know we've been together forever while you was building a company. I don't necessarily think that I'm supposed to sign a prenup to secure what I helped you come up on, or you know the relationship that we built together for years before you had that money. Now if you walk into a situation where you don't have it like that and you marry a millionaire, maybe you do sign a prenup and you can understand that, but maybe make sure that prenup works for you. But throw that around. If your significant other presents you with a prenup before you get married, would you sign it?
Speaker 1:
Next question your significant other gets a serious illness right and they can no longer perform in the bedroom and they say you go ahead, you can get a free pass, would you take it? Let me hit you with that again. Your significant other develops a serious illness and they can't perform in the bedroom anymore and then they give you a free pass. Do you take it? Now, that's just an individual thing, so I'm not going to drop no notes there. I'm gonna let you spin that around in your own circles or with your man and see what kind of eye rolls that comes up with. Right, all right.
Speaker 1:
Question what do you consider to be husband and wife only benefits? Or I guess I could say, if you're in a long-term relate, a long-term relationship, uh, same thing. What do you think should be husband and wife only benefits? Now, what do you think should be husband and wife only benefits? Now, I know some people is going to jump right to kissing or maybe even something nasty like going double down, or you know what I mean double down or something and sexualize that. I think there's a certain level of intimacy that you have to take into account too, because you don't necessarily just offer your whole self to somebody that you're not a hundred percent with or somebody that you know might not be the same forever. So throw that around too and see what you come up with there, right family. So throw that around too and see what you come up with there, right family. That's it for me. I love y'all, I really do, and until next week I want you to remember. Some people might say you're difficult to deal with, but that's because you're not easy to fool.
Speaker 2:
See you next week. We'll come on a talk to you. Need someone to listen, looking for clarity and strategy. Reach out to the Turnaround Project. Our life coaches are here to help you on your journey to getting better, doing better and being better. Turnaround Project helping individuals learn to help themselves.