Episode 26: Harnessing Emotional Intelligence: A Pathway to Personal Excellence and Leadership Success

Unlock the potential to transform your personal and professional life with a deep dive into emotional intelligence on Full Circle with your host, Shawn. Today, we're unwrapping the five essential components of EQ—self-awareness, self-regulation, motivation, empathy, and social skills. Learn how these elements not only affect our daily interactions but are foundational to building stronger relationships, managing stress more effectively, and becoming more resilient. This episode isn’t just about theory; it’s packed with practical strategies to enhance your emotional quotient, such as mindfulness, emotional journaling, and expanding your emotional vocabulary. We're not just talking about feeling good, we're talking about real tools for excelling in life and at work by leveraging the power of EQ over IQ.

As we pivot to leadership, brace yourself for an enlightening exploration of how emotional intelligence propels leaders to new heights. We dissect how effective leaders use EQ to forge genuine bonds with their team, tailor their communication, and embrace empathy as a leadership superpower. From sharing thought leader Daniel Goleman's insights to recommending tools like MoodFit and Headspace, we're not leaving you to figure it out alone. Embrace the challenge with a 30-day plan to progressively build your EQ skills tailored to fit your unique journey. So, tune in and let's start this transformative expedition on Full Circle with Shawn, where your growth is our mission.

Transcript

Speaker 0: 0:00

Hello and welcome back to Full Circle with Sean. I'm your host, Sean, and today we're talking about emotional intelligence. So emotional intelligence, which is also known as emotional quotient, is the ability to recognize, understand and manage both your own emotions and those of others, and it involves several key skills, so self-awareness, self-regulation, motivation, empathy and social skills. So let's start with self-awareness. So self-awareness is the ability to recognize and understand your own emotions, your own strengths, your own weaknesses, your own values and what drives you. And this component involves being aware of how your emotions affect your thoughts and your behaviors and how they are perceived by others. And this leads into self-regulation, so your ability to redirect your own disruptive emotions and your impulses to adapt to changing circumstances. And then motivation, the inner drive to pursue goals with energy and persistence. This component is really about a strong drive to achieve and optimize, even in the face of failure or organizational commitment. Empathy, so the ability to understand the emotional makeup of other people, and this skill is in treating people according to their emotional reactions and recognizing their feelings while they are happening. And then, finally, social skills right, the proficiency in managing relationships and building networks, but also the ability to find common ground and build rapport, and this skill is really necessary for handling and influencing other people's emotions effectively. So now we've identified the five key elements of emotional intelligence, let's dive even deeper. So self-awareness so people with high self-awareness are able to observe and reflect on their own feelings, and even understand how their emotions are affecting their thoughts and their behavior. And if we look at key number two, self-regulation so this skill enables individuals to think before acting or to express their emotions in appropriate ways that do not harm others or themselves. If we look at key number three, motivation Individuals high in motivation are often driven by their inner ambitions and their desire for achievement beyond external rewards or recognition. Key number four empathy. So empathy enables better relationship management and it really allows people to interact with others in a way that respects and matches their emotional states. And then, finally, social skills. So people with very strong social skills are good at managing change, they're very good at persuading others, they can build networks, and it often leads to more successful personal and professional relationships.

Speaker 0: 2:51

So why is emotional intelligence important? Well, it's important for your personal well-being. Okay, it contributes significantly to allowing you to manage your own personal stress levels and your emotional challenges. Understanding and regulating your emotions can help to lead to healthier relationships and even better personal decisions. In fact, individuals with high emotional intelligence are often more resilient and you can go back and listen to my resilience podcast that I've done a while back and with that they're able to navigate through adversity with a much clearer mindset and a balanced emotional state.

Speaker 0: 3:30

Now, in our professional life and in our workplaces, it's crucial for effective leadership and teamwork. It enables you to communicate effectively, resolve conflicts, lead by example you know the old. You know lead by example, fostering a positive and productive work environment. It's often associated with better job performance. You know. Employees who understand and manage their own emotions and those of others can achieve greater success in roles like negotiation and teamwork and customer interaction. And it helps build and maintain professional relationships and that's really crucial for networking. It's crucial for career advancement and, overall, it's crucial for the organizational success.

Speaker 0: 4:13

Now, emotional intelligence is not the same as intellectual intelligence. Right? It's the old saying are you book smarts versus street smarts or both? Are you book smarts versus street smarts or both? And we can look at that by defining IQ intellectual intelligence and that's the person's ability to learn to understand and apply information in areas such as logic, abstract reasoning, word comprehension, math, stuff like that, and it's typically measured through standardized tests. So, while IQ is linked to academic, you know emotional intelligence is crucial for managing personal behavior, and sometimes emotional intelligence is actually more critical than IQ. Okay, In many aspects of life, especially in relationships and careers, it's more important to be emotionally intelligent than having a super high IQ. And you can look at this in some leaders, okay, so they can help motivate, they can engage their team, they can understand the dynamics and they can handle crises efficiently. In fact, if you look at certain jobs that require interpersonal relationships or more interpersonal interactions, such as sales, teaching, management emotional intelligence often predicts performance more accurately than IQ. So let's go over some things with emotional intelligence in your personal life, some things that you can do so you can make mindful observations. So you practice mindfulness to observe your thoughts and feelings without judgment, and this will help you in recognizing your emotional state and understanding how it's influencing or could influence your behavior and your decision.

Speaker 0: 5:51

We have emotional journaling, so a lot of people keep a journal to record their emotional experiences and their reactions and then they write down what they feel and it helps to identify the patterns and the triggers in emotional responses. And then there's feedback seeking, right. So people that actively seek feedback from others about how their emotions and actions affected them or the people around them, and that can really provide higher insights into things that are not always visible to yourself. And then we have pause and reflect. So develop the habit of pausing to consider your feelings before reacting in challenging situations. It's like you know, think before you speak, right. And then we have emotional vocabulary. So expand your emotional vocabulary to be able to better articulate your feelings more accurately. So being able to describe your emotions precisely aids in recognizing and addressing them more effectively. And then we can get into relationship management right. So if we can enhance our relationships through emotional understanding and empathy, it's a story. There's a story I have. I know One of Sean's stories. Oh my goodness.

Speaker 0: 6:59

So we just started the business. We weren't very, very far along in the business. I had my first decent opportunity and I had to go to Tasmania for, say, three or four days. Now the complication is we just had our first child. Okay, my wife was definitely down a bit, a little bit of the PTSD, and what am I gonna do? So I recognized that, and then I and my wife's a big flower person. So the day before I left I went to the flower shop and I said I need you to deliver flowers tomorrow afternoon. So once I'm gone right and they said, oh, we're super busy, you know it's a bad weekend. We could do it on Monday. And I said what if I buy every flower, you have Everyone. And they said, yeah, we could deliver tomorrow. So I had spent like four or five grand on flowers and they came with a truck and it really lifted her spirits where she needed it at the time.

Speaker 0: 7:59

And that's that's what we need to be doing. We need to recognize what's going on with the, the, our loved ones, and and react right. So sometimes you know somebody upsets you, but you recognize that they are having a bad day and I talk about having a bad day, and everybody has a bad day and they're having a bad day. So now is not the time to get into them. For that little thing that you want to get into them for, Now is not the time.

Speaker 0: 8:25

And it's recognizing all of that. So we need to actively listen, so we need to concentrate on who's talking. We need to try to understand what they're trying to say or what they're saying, we need to respond thoughtfully and remember the conversation that we're having. And then we need to express empathy, while we're appropriate, of course, and so you make a conscious effort to understand and share the feelings of others. So showing empathy can really deepen the connections and facilitate more meaningful interactions. And if we're listening and understanding the message, then we can give constructive feedback. So we can provide feedback in a constructive and supportive manner right? So we can focus on the behavior you wish to address, rather than the person, or even suggest actionable ways to improve. And then we can look at conflict resolution skills, so we can develop skills to handle conflicts more maturely and more effectively. We can approach conflicts as a collaborator rather than an adversary. That can approach conflicts as a collaborator rather than an adversary. That can help us find solutions that address everyone's concern. And finally, regular check-ins right, so we maintain regular contact with our friends and family, and these little check-ins can help nurture relationships and they offer opportunities to express empathy and that we care about the person, and it really keeps communication channels open for when different issues arise.

Speaker 0: 9:56

Now, how do we deal with personal challenges? Okay, so, using emotional intelligence to manage conflicts and manage stress. So we start with emotion regulation right, so we learn to control and adjust our emotions in real time, and we can use certain techniques such as deep breathing, meditation or even pausing to assess the situation before responding. Have you ever been in a conversation with someone where you say something and it's five seconds and then they respond and you're like what's going on? It's because they're actually consuming what you say and debating on what they're going to say back, and this helps maintain clarity in calm and stressful situations. And then we could try to take the perspective of other people. It's like the old saying you know, put yourself in their shoes and from this we can view the conflicts from multiple perspectives, to try to understand the different viewpoints and the reasons behind the disagreements, Because most people that are in disagreement with you have their reasons and again, it could be their background, it could be their education, it could be something that they've learned over time that has put them in that viewpoint, and this approach will really foster empathy and leads to more equatable solutions.

Speaker 0: 11:15

And then we have proactive communication. So communicate openly and communicate honestly about your feelings and your concerns before they escalate into larger conflicts. How many people do you know that just hold on to everything and then all of a sudden they just blow up. I mean, you might be one of those people. And then we have stress reduction techniques. So there's lots of things you can do to reduce your stress and things like physical activity go to the gym, relaxation routines, do yoga, there's different hobbies. I mean what makes you happy? Because a lot of times, the things that make you happier, that you're passionate about, will reduce your stress.

Speaker 0: 11:53

And now let's get into emotional intelligence in the workplace. So teamwork Emotional intelligence fosters a collaborative team environment and it enables members to understand and respect each other's feelings and perspectives Because, remember, it's about other people's perspectives. Emotional intelligence is not just about you yes, it is a part about you, but it's also about those around you, and this can enhance communication, cooperation and really lead to a more effective and cohesive team. And then we have, you know, leaderships. Leaders with higher, you know, emotional intelligence, as we've talked a little bit about before, can better motivate and engage their teams. They can recognize individual needs and strengths and that helps them to drive performance by managing emotions more effectively. And then we have customer interactions, right so in customer facing roles. So emotional intelligence is crucial for managing interactions effectively. Not every day will be a good day as well, and even when it is a good day, you should still be able to manage your clients with emotional intelligence, and that could be as simple as tailoring your communication based on their emotional state. Handle complaints or issues with sensitivity and understanding and really lead to improve customer satisfaction and loyalty.

Speaker 0: 13:13

Now let's break down leadership a bit more. Okay, I know we've talked a little bit about leadership in some very high level, but let's talk a little bit more low level. So leaders right Emotional connections. So leaders can use emotional intelligence to form more meaningful connections with employees and that can make them feel more valued and more understood, and it can actually boost morale and even loyalty. Ok, adaptive communication so you tailor your communication styles to meet the emotional and motivational needs of different employees. Remember, every employee is not the same. Effective communication can enhance understanding and cooperation across the teams. You need to look at, you know, empathetic leadership. Okay, Just demonstrating empathy allows leaders to understand personal circumstances that may affect an employee's performance or employee's well-being. Remember some I'm going to say it again people have bad days, and it doesn't have to be just bad days at work. It could be bad days at home it could be. You know lots of things. So we need to have that empathetic leadership in the back of our mind. Conflict resolution so leaders can use emotional intelligence to manage and resolve conflicts in a way that respects all people, all their feelings, all their needs, and promotes a much more harmonious work environment. And then, finally, inspirational right. So a leader can inspire and motivate teams by setting a vision that connects emotionally with employees. Leaders who show passion and enthusiasm can ignite these qualities within their teams and that'll really drive productivity and engagement.

Speaker 0: 14:50

So how do we develop and enhance our emotional intelligence? Well, you can start by practicing. So for self-awareness, let's go through the key skills, right. So self-awareness we can reflect daily. So we can spend a few minutes each day reflecting on our emotional experiences and the way that we reacted to those emotional experiences. We can consider what triggered our emotions and how they influenced our behavior. In self-regulation, we can look at pause before reacting. And that is one of my favorite ones, it's think before you speak. So make a conscious effort to pause and think before reacting to emotional situations. Allow time and you'll be better. Formulate, a better response, a more considered response.

Speaker 0: 15:38

If we look at motivation, so we can regularly set and review short-term and long-term personal goals, and this will help maintain focus in our drive, even during challenging periods. We can use visualization techniques and we can visualize us achieving the goals. In fact, when I ran cost crunchy in high school, before a meet or even the day before, we would all sit around the gym and they'd say, okay, close your eyes, You're running the race. Visualize you're running the race. Visualize you're passing that person. Because visualization techniques work right Now.

Speaker 0: 16:11

If we look at empathy, let's practice active listening, let's focus on a speaker, let's understand their message and let's try to respond thoughtfully. And then, if we look at our social skills, so we're going to make an effort to engage more in social activities and this can really help refine our ability to navigate and influence group dynamics and improve our relational skills. And then you can also ask for feedback. So regularly ask for feedback on your interactions especially. This is why it's important to have a mentor right, and I've done a whole thing about mentors because it is really important and when you have a mentor, you feel almost like you have a safe space for that feedback, because you don't want to have a conflict and then go back and go. So how'd I do? Did I do? All right, and we need to set realistic things that we'll do and nobody's going to do that.

Speaker 0: 17:04

So if we look at some tools, some tools and resources that we can dig into, some books that I like Emotional Intelligence and why it Can Matter More Than IQ, and that's by Daniel Golem. It's a pretty good book and it's really about the emotional intelligence and its importance in both personal and professional success. There's Emotional Intelligence 2.0 by Travis Bradbury and Gene Greaves, and again, this really talks about self-awareness, self-management, social awareness and relationship management. There's a bunch of apps that can help track your mood so MoodFit or Headspace and that'll really increase your mindfulness and help you focus more on and build your emotional resilience. There are courses, so LinkedIn Learning has courses developing your emotional intelligence right, and there's plenty of other online resources as well for that, and, at the end of the day, Google's your best friend.

Speaker 0: 18:06

Just be real cautious about the hype or the fluff in a lot of people that teach about this, because this is a personal journey for you and some people that say it's a one size fits all. It's never a one size fits all and if you notice the repetition there. It's more almost everything that we do in our lives. People are going to talk to us and they're going to say do it this way and do it this way, and you'd be silly not to do it this way and I'm the expert, and throw me money or whatever. But at the end of the day, it's a little piece of that, a little piece of that, a little piece of that. But everybody wants to be popular and everybody wants to live up to the hype. So just be aware of that.

Speaker 0: 18:51

And if you really want to challenge yourself a little bit, then do like a 30-day emotional intelligence challenge, so something like you know. For the first five days you do self-awareness, so you focus on self-awareness. You spend 10 minutes each day reflecting on the emotions you experienced the day. You spend 10 minutes each day reflecting on the emotions you experienced the day. You can journal about them, you can note what triggered these emotions and then you can decide how you think that they affected your decisions and your interactions. And then for the next five days, do self-regulation. Right, so practice either deep breathing or mindfulness for five minutes each morning and anytime you feel stressed during the day.

Speaker 0: 19:30

And then for the next five days. Try motivation Set a small achievable goal at the beginning of each day that aligns to something in your larger life goals, and then review your progress every evening so that you can plan for the next day. And then, for the next five days, focus on empathy. So engage in at least one conversation each day where you practice active listening and really focus and really try to understand the other person's perspective. And then, for the next five days, we're going to focus on social skills. So we're going to initiate a conversation with maybe a work colleague or a friend or somebody, and we're going to focus on using open-ended questions to encourage dialogue and pay attention to your body language and your tone as you're engaging these conversations.

Speaker 0: 20:18

And then, finally, for the last five days, we're going to do reflection.

Speaker 0: 20:22

So we're going to reflect on the previous weeks so all of this and identify which areas showed the most improvement and where we think we're at and where we need work. We're going to then choose one interaction or event each day to apply all of the elements. So we're going to try to apply self-awareness, self-regulation, motivation, empathy and social skills in a day. And what this will do is, again, we always try to take baby steps, we do things that are achievable and won't destroy our motivation when we fail, and this will help gradually build up our skills and we'll be able to integrate them into our daily lives. And by the end of the 30 days, the goal is for you guys to have a deeper understanding and improve mastery of your emotions, enhancing your personal and professional relationships. And if anybody does it, or has done it, I'm really interested to know how it went. And in the next episode we'll be back into startups. We'll be talking about perfection. So thank you for joining me on Full Circle with Sean, and I look forward to chatting in the next one.