DADS don't babysit! interview w/ Nate Feathers

In this episode, we talk with Nate Feathers who is an outstanding human that brings tangible perspectives and experience to fathers. His experience ranges from fathering one in college to one in diapers. Nate discusses the importance of being mindful of our own tendencies and present in fathering our daughters and the vital, but difficult, job that we have as girl dads. We also dive in to the utility of a community where we can learn from others and be the best fathers we can be. You don't want to miss this one. 

Transcript

0:00

This is the Daughtered Podcast, where dads come to talk, think, and thrive with your hosts, Oscar and Blandon. Our mission is to cultivate a community of strong, mindful, and present fathers. We want to curate honest conversations with all men, but especially those who have the honor of raising daughters.

Oscar: 0:17

Hey everyone, Oscar here at the Daughter Podcast and Blandon over on the other side in Houston. How you doing, Blandon?

Blandon: 0:26

man, I'm doing all right today, man. It was a, it was a beautiful Sunday. I, got to get out. I went to a birthday party before I came here. So I'm a, I'm pretty energized. So I'm, I'm, feeling good and feeling really

Oscar: 0:37

And.

Blandon: 0:39

We have, my goodness, we have a celebrity on with us today. So, you know, it can't get any better than hanging out with Nate feathers

Oscar: 0:50

we are excited to have you on the podcast. Your message has indubitably, I think that's a word, right? I heard it in a movie yesterday with my daughter,

Blandon: 0:59

And here's the at you. You've been using thesaurus. I sent you, I

Oscar: 1:04

I heard it in a movie sitting with my girls yesterday. So, it was a comedy. It sounded like a funny word, but then I realized it's an actual word. So I used it, um, indubitably have helped a bunch of people, myself included. I've been following you since 2021. When I, I just, we had just come out of COVID. I was home a lot during COVID, my girls were all home. That is, I'm sure for many of us change the dynamic of our every day. And then as 2021 started to finally, take off the chains, if you will, we started going back to work, and man, like fathering got hard, I don't know what happened. It's never been easy, but it really took a turn for me. And that's for me, that's when you came in, I was on Instagram and it was just some video popped up. And. you talked about not knowing what you're doing as a parent. Nate and I were talking before the podcast and I up until that point in that video made me realized I don't know what i'm doing and I felt like I don't know what i'm doing even more now than Earlier, which is kind of weird. That's not a good introduction, but I wanted to put that out there Nate, man, you have, you have a huge following on Instagram, for the right reasons, you have a business on the side that is seasoned on, I'm sure we'll discuss that a little bit, you've got,

Blandon: 2:30

got to discuss that

Oscar: 2:31

know, Blandon is excited, Blandon

Blandon: 2:33

we that. I'm super excited about

Oscar: 2:36

Well, come on now.

Blandon: 2:39

Okay. I'm holding,

Oscar: 2:40

you have six children, right? Ranging from 20 to three months. And you have, a saying for that. What is that saying?

Nate: 2:50

Oh, I got one college and one in

Oscar: 2:52

that is a range, my friend. And, yet you have a successful business. A great relationship from everything I've, heard from you on podcasts and through the, Instagram. And man, Nate, I could keep on going with these, but how are you? Tell us about you. Let us, let our listeners really know Nate Feathers.

Nate: 3:13

well, guys, seriously, thank you for one. I know I said off air, but I want to make sure I say thank you for what you're doing. I know that the there's not a lot. You're the guys are the only ones I know of that are talking about being dads of daughters. And that is a, in my opinion, that's a very difficult thing, right? Because we're all we're all worried about. We who are dads of sons were like, I got to make them men. And that's, that's daunting. Yeah. But, uh, you know, for whatever, I'm just going to say, we didn't grow up women. So we don't know what in the world it's like. So most of the time we don't even know, like they're going through stuff. I know Oscar, I know yours, your oldest is 12. So you're stepping into a teenage. Realm that is like everybody says is scary. Uh, and I semi agree with that. I was terrified of it. Especially with my daughter, but you know, you're walking into areas that we didn't, we didn't grow up in. We don't know how to deal with it. So I'm really excited that you guys are doing that. So one, thank you because, guys need to know that they have a huge influence on their daughters all the way through life. Regardless of their age and all of the things that women go through that we don't experience. You still have this massive place for them. And I love it that you guys, had that in your hearts of, we got to do something for this. And just went for it because that's it's it's massively needed. I think so. Thank you. But yeah, dude It's it's been a it's been a fun ride doing this and getting into instagram and it and it blowing up That's one of the things my wife hates me saying that but it Felt like that's what happened. She only hates me saying it'cause she's like, people want to hear what you have to say. And I was telling Oscar earlier that sometimes I just start sharing. I've gotten so used to sharing stuff that I'm like, I can't be the only one dealing with this. Instagram has proven over and over again that that is the truth, that we are all living the human experience, going through the same things, maybe coming at it from different angles, but for the most part, we're, we're dealing with the exact same thing. And we have lots that we can relate to with each other about almost all areas of life, I think. So

Oscar: 5:18

Yeah, absolutely. And, you know, I don't know about you, like I'm not a social media guy and I've been, it's been a big learning curve for me. I know Blandon has been giving me a hard time about it. Just learning curve as a whole, but

Blandon: 5:32

You're

Oscar: 5:32

I'm getting there. You know, you can teach an old dog new tricks. It's it's, it works.

Blandon: 5:37

you can.

Nate: 5:37

Right. Okay.

Oscar: 5:39

in this process, the podcast process, talking these things out loud with Blandon, with guests that we have, Trevor, And we've had other guests that we've now interviewed. I know we don't have those out yet, but I mean, it's been, it's been really helpful, to do that. Is that, do you experience that in sharing, on Instagram? Like, you had a reel about your son, we talked a little bit about it where you don't want to break him. you don't want to break what he is in because of all these other things and we'll get into those. But does that give you some type of like therapy for lack of better terms to just put it out and then listen back to it or have someone hit you up and be like, bro, that just hit me in the teeth, which I've done with you several times on your stuff. So is that, what you experienced when you're putting those out? You're saying you're getting used to kind of putting things out there.

Nate: 6:33

Yeah, it's, it's interesting, I think so, I think it could be kind of therapeutic for me, I went to Peru when I was in college and the one thing they said that culturally was, if you're in a group and someone is around, make sure you open up so that your back isn't to them. Right. And I know. Back in, back in like days of Kings and stuff, you don't turn your back on the King, but in Peru, they're like, this is for everyone. And it was just something that really stuck with me. Always be including, always be open, open the circle, let more people in. And I'm the kind of guy that doesn't, I don't like it when, when people seem like all alone, that's the person I'm going to gravitate to. And I don't know if that's was taught or if it just became my personality, but I want to make that open. And what I find is when I share stuff, and usually it's the stuff that I'm like. I don't know if anybody else is feeling this or not, but I'm just gonna say it because it's something that I'm going through. There's gotta be somebody else out there. And if there is, hopefully that makes them go, no, they're not alone. And that's something that is deep for me is I want to make sure I hate, I don't like feeling alone in things. And so I don't want other people to feel alone. And so if I'm thinking it or going through it, I'm just like, I'm going to share this. And, uh, it, it's just steered a lot of life for me. And so when Instagram started, and like I said, when people started following and sharing the videos and it started to grow,, I started being more and more willing to share things that I normally probably wouldn't, just because, uh, maybe that would cause more of a, uh, a conflict or conversation where people disagreed with me, um, but that also fueled good conversation. And so. Yeah, so it's definitely been something like I was, I grew up in the church. And so one of the things that I started working through when I was in another country as well, I was in Costa Rica, I was working through something and the people in that particular area had a very strict thought about something about God. And I just had this whole other idea and I was like, I'm gonna start sharing this cause I think I'm going to see what they say about it. And the deeper, the more conversation we had, With them opposing me, the more I kind of felt like I was on the right path. And so I just wait and it just, it's kind of been that way for this whole fatherhood thing. I mean, I did one reel about not spanking and yelling. And I mean, it was crazy to me how many people advocated for that, on the reel that I was saying, I don't think you should do this. And,, I looked at my wife and I said, I am fully onto something here and I'm going to dig my heels in because I believe that kind of response. I, I'm on to something and sure enough, as soon as I started going down that road, that's when I connected with gabor Mate, uh, dr. Shafali and all these people who are literally saying the exact same thing and these psychologists who are like, yeah, dude, spanking is not a good idea. Like psychologically, not a good idea, so it just, it's grown and helped me grow. It helps me grow. And so it's, it's all out there for that

Oscar: 9:25

And you know what I do appreciate too about your Instagram is you talked about, the, the highlight reel. And most of the time that's, that's what our stuff is, right? It's highlight reel, not our stuff, but when we watch something on social media That's that's not what I get when I watch nate feathers, right? There's no don't get me wrong There's some cool stuff in there man, when you were you're holding your little one I I just it took me back to like holding my little one like that to me. That's a highlight reel, so i'm not looking for some grand, you know vacation thing. I'm just looking for life, right? But I don't get the highlight reel from You When I watch night feathers on social media, and I think that's important because

Nate: 10:07

Silence.

Oscar: 10:14

my girls and to understand that they have this Thing inside of them that will make them great that maybe i'm stifling right that was huge because i'm like dude like how do I not do that because Odds are, I've done that with my oldest not knowing. We've talked about it in the podcast before. In the military we call it, you're gonna fall back to your highest level of training. That's what we call it in the military, so if you train crappy, you're gonna fall back to that training when, the poop pizza fan, but that's the same, it's the same as I was growing up and being parented What we saw, what we felt, what we experienced is going to drive us to do the things that we do with our children, unless we're mindful, unless we're present in that moment. And unless we're talking to other men that have gone through this process to give us that feedback, to give us that other lens. That I absolutely don't have. So, the lens that I can, that I can put on when I, when I watch you on Instagram, that lens really helps me. Cause I try to keep that lens on after I put the phone away, right? I'll put the phone away. I'm like, can I keep this lens on real quick and look at myself and maybe look at my daughters through this lens? Cause you've talked about your daughters as well. And we'll get into that. That is really something that I think resonates with people. I know when I send yourself over Blandon before, he agreed as well. Like these little things that you discuss, it's not a highlight reel. It's something that allows us to put a different lens zone. Not everybody. And some people, as you mentioned never going to make anybody happy, but grabbing that lens for a second and maybe trying something new, at least for me. Is huge. If I can add that little bit for tomorrow,'cause normally when I get my phone and I'm watching stuff, it's at night. If I can just put it on for tomorrow, I'm like, all right, maybe I can do a little bit better tomorrow.

Nate: 12:05

Yeah. Yeah. Well, I am glad to hear that because there's a lot of times I look at my wife and I'm like, I want, it's what, 90 seconds, right? That to be a window into my, like my soul, really, I want that to be something you can see in, the biggest thing I worry about on there and I try to make sure I share enough that you can see it is I don't ever want people to think I've got this nailed, you know, my kids drive me crazy but that's my own stuff. But, and I know that, and honestly, sharing it and talking about it more makes me more heightened in my awareness of it. And that doesn't mean I still don't just go, you know, like, I'm like, don't turn around. Like my voice is raised and I'm like, dang it. You know, it's, it's one of those things where I would never want, and that's the whole point is I don't want a dad out there who is going through that to be like, well, Nate gets it right. Every time that's insane. And the last thing I want is someone to see that on, on realism. Be like, well, this guy, like he's too, too perfect. Quote unquote to follow because it's just not true, man. And, we're all failing in some way, shape or form, just wanting to drive and to get better. And that's the whole point is, if you fall down seven times, get up eight, that's really all.

Blandon: 13:14

Yeah, and, that really does come through, Nate. So, you're doing the good work. Because when I am looking at your content, what I'm looking at is someone who is vulnerable enough honest enough with himself. Like, you've done And you're still doing the inner work, right? You're doing the inner work when you're putting it out. And that's what we can really see. And that's what makes it relatable. And that's what makes, I think, other men draw closer and draw in because it's not a facade. When I'm looking at you, talking about your failures and your successes as a dad, like, I'm going along the journey with you, you know

Nate: 13:53

Yeah. Yeah.

Blandon: 13:58

to know the answer to our can question, did you get daughtered and how was that? What was that time like? And for you, honestly, vulnerably, was that success? Was that failure? How did that pan out for you?

Nate: 14:15

well, so my oldest daughter is 17 and, she'll be 18 in October and that's terrifying. but it's, uh, but she's awesome. What's funny is that she's a lot like me. And I love that. And she has this, she has this. I don't know how else to put it other than she's very, very blunt with how she feels about things. And so it comes across as fully attitudinal. Like when you think teenage girl, she'd probably hate me for saying this, but that's how it comes across. And it's like, and then you'd be like, Hey, did you hear like how you said that? Cause it sounds like you hate us all. And she'll be like, no, I just said this. I'm like, if you'd have said it that way, it comes across totally different. So we're all. He's just gonna like knock your teeth out the first time as it, which I love, I do love that, but she has been good for me because she doesn't fall into the hole. Like when girls go boy crazy, she's like, I don't get that. Like, what is that? And I'm like, I love you so much. And so she's been good for me. I'm worried because our younger daughter is three, but she already strikes me as the opposite of that, which terrifies me or, yeah, honestly, when Amelia was born, she had multiple physical ailments that we found out about in utero. So we found out that she had what's called a dandy walker cyst on her brain, which just means that she has a large space that's full of fluid that would cause pressure on her brain. And, so they had to, so we found that out the day we found out we were having a girl. And then closer to the date of birth, we found out she had what's called an umphalocele, which is basically where your intestines grow into the umbilical cord. And she, Really a sign of things like some other kind of chromosomal issue or down syndrome things like that happen and hers was small hers was not very big But it was still something that had them questioning They did an amniocentesis where they drag out some amniotic fluid to find out if there's chromosomal issues we were keeping her no matter what and they're like, there's no chromosomal issues this is just some kind of weirdness. And so when she was born, she was four and a half pounds and she had great to the NICU. There was no space in the NICU where she was born. So they took her to children's hospital across. I lived in Columbus, Ohio at the time. So they took her from Riverside over to children's hospital, closer to downtown. And, it was a good bit of a distance. And in that I was in a place where I was a pastor of a church that couldn't pay me and I was working a job that barely paid me, So I would work from like, uh, 1:00 AM to 6:00 AM at UPS, and then I would go instead of going to the hospital where my wife at the time was, I would go to the children's hospital. I had a cultural, like a cultural studies class in college that said there's a bonding that happens and they liken it to babies where. If you go skin to skin with your baby, I'm all for skin to skin, by the way. Like, I'm like, if you have put them on you and dad, you can be an ultimate dad by just sleeping. As long as your baby's on you, you've like, you've, you've, you've wanted life. But the one thing I was nervous of was that she would bond to nurses and she already had.

Blandon: 17:23

Hmm.

Nate: 17:24

And so I was like, I'm going to be there the whole time. And so, somewhere in actual pictures, I have a picture of me leaning down under this billy light. My daughter has an IV in her forehead. She's got these goggles on that, like the covered her eyes from the Billy Rubin light, and she had all these things stuck in her. And I am leaning in reading a, one of my books, from being a pastor to her, just so she would hear my voice. So that was my, like. Already I feel like I felt different, like with my son, he was born like two and a half years earlier. I wanted to throw him early, like not throw him bad, like toss him in the air. Found out, cause he was my first, you don't do that, kids are scared, like big loud noises and the fear of falling are like innate in us. And he put his arms out and freaked out, I'm like, oh, I'm that, I broke this kid, you know, like that kind of thing. With her, all I wanted to do was be tender and hold her close and make sure she, that I was there and everything was okay. And so I spent a lot of time in the NICU until she came home. It was only seven days. But, that whole time she was strapped to all sorts of stuff. I was in there, holding her or talking and reading to her. So she knew who I am and she bonded to me rather than some stranger that not supposed to do was never going to be around again. So that's, I got daughtered.

Blandon: 18:40

No,

Oscar: 18:42

that is amazing. That's dude. I mean, you're looking at not being with your wife because of the circumstance. Right. So,

Nate: 18:50

Yeah.

Oscar: 19:04

I don't, for two reasons for me. I don't think I was that purposeful with my first child. My entire process in my brain was how do I provide for this kid? And don't get me wrong. I had this bond to her and we talked about this in one of our podcasts. That was the first time that I legitimately felt mortality for me. Like I've never been afraid of dying ever. And, but she made me afraid of not being here. Right. So I distinctly remember that feeling.

Nate: 19:37

going

Oscar: 19:38

so it wasn't that I didn't, I didn't want my kid, but my wife and I, we got married real young. We were married for eight and a half years before we had kids. She's always been just my person. Odds are thinking through what you just said,

Nate: 19:55

Silence.

Oscar: 20:01

other way. My, I'm going to go check on my wife. man, that's powerful, dude. I think I know how to react to that and it's not in that amazing father and daughter reality. I think I would have been like, I'll go check on her. She's got nurses. She should be good. I'm going to go check on my wife, figure out how she's doing.

Nate: 20:19

Yeah.

Blandon: 20:19

I want to know how that played out in your ongoing relationship with her. Like has there, has it always just kind of been that closeness with you guys?

Nate: 20:34

so I got divorced from that out of that marriage. Right. So there is that. I, and we can go down that road if you want but with Amelia, there was a point in, in that whole divorce time where Amelia had a real hard time with me. And I felt like I did the whole dad thing that most guys do. And I won't do this with the next one. And just because I've learned, but, I did the whole, Oh, well, as she got older, she's doing more things that are more womanly, I just send it to her mom. And in the moments where she needed me, there was a point at which where she needed me, I couldn't be there, but there was also. Points at which I would be like, well, just like she should just talk to her mom. Cause I don't know what she's, I don't know how to handle that. And so I just defaulted. I will say that in the same vein, we do have a pretty tight, we do have a pretty good closeness that, that, stems from that. There's just always, I don't know, maybe it's more so, maybe it was more so on my end. I think that if you talk to her, she'd probably say, no, dad and I are like we have this special bond. But, I think I bonded tightly to her. Yeah. I did that, it put me in a place where, to almost an advanced my placement as there is so much I have to do and be for this little human. Even though I already had one, it was just, it just added to it. like I will do whatever it takes. It's funny because at, uh, just this last year. Apparently she was talking with her. friends about, their parents, like, dying for them. And I'm like oh, that's morbid, but okay. And, and one of her friends was like, well, you know, would your parents ever kill it for you? And she stopped and goes, yours wouldn't? I don't, I don't understand. My dad would do that without

Oscar: 22:13

Yeah, right. right. Absolutely. Hmm.

Blandon: 22:18

the line of questioning came because, I feel like, and I have a relationship with both my daughters, I'm close with them, but because my youngest daughter has had some health issues, she has asthma and we've had to spend time in the ER together and in the hospital and having these procedures. I just feel like there's just like this sweetness there. There's like this, this closeness that I can't really. Explain, or I can't put it into words, but I am the first person that she really looks for when she's not feeling well, if that makes sense. So that's why I was trying to see if that was there, because that kind of carried on early. But I know for me, with my youngest, if she's not feeling well, she's reaching out for me. If we need to go to the ER in the middle of the night, I'm the one who's taking her, I'm staying, I'm riding in the ambulance, I'm doing all the things. Just because that's how we relate, now it's sometimes it's a toss up with my oldest. She might ask for my wife. She might ask for me, but my youngest, because so early on, I was there for her in those times of, kind of sickness and distress. She's always reaching out for me. So that's why I was asking.

Nate: 23:34

Yeah, no, I love that, man. That's awesome. I think that makes total sense. you know, in those times of need, when they have someone they need to lean on, and when we are that, then we're the one they go to before. I've said it multiple times. Everything to us for them, aside from physical ailment, that's big time, right? Aside from stuff like that, but everything to them is a big deal. All this little stuff. We're like, ah, it's little, like it's just a picture. It's just that if I'm willing to deal with what I would assume is more so annoyance at times, because they're constantly talking to you, constantly showing you stuff. If we, as dads are willing to do that, and what I'm learning more and more is that this is the case is that if I'm willing to do that now. The big stuff that I want them to come to me for they will, because that's all big stuff to them, right? The picture is like the most important picture on, the planet at that moment. And if I'm like, amazing, great job, babe. If I do that, they're like, dad is always there And so. comes to, you know, and we are all, going to make decisions. And for us, when I talk to my kids all the way through, I've been like, don't go drinking with your friends. If you want to try alcohol, just come ask me. We'll have it in our house, not with your friends, but like, we'll have our house. I'll let you, I mean, all that stuff. So but I've also said, if you get to a party and you end up doing this stupid things,, don't drive home. For the love of God, I would rather I would rather had an figuring it out and I'm probably not gonna be mad. That's the thing is I told you to do it. I told you, I mean, I didn't say go drink, but I did say me, Right. So it's like, I want her to go, dad, I, I need you to come get me. in any, you know, like her first date, which she has is, I told you she's not into boys. So She hasn't gone on a date. I've already said that they've got to beat me. in a workout to even be able to take her out. I'm just most guys that are trying to date her, but like her first date, I want her to be able to have the signal, like You. know, the, the quick text at the bathroom, dad saying, you got to come get me and be like, I am on the way. I'm coming. I want that no matter what. And I've got to do the things with, uh, like Luna gray is three years old. I've got to do those things when they're that age and all the way up, proving myself over and over again, that I'm the go to and they'll go to me.

Blandon: 25:48

Absolutely.

Oscar: 25:49

man, because I find myself harsh a lot of times. Like, why are you crying about that? It makes no sense. And in Blandon and I, we talked about this before, like my, the words, are you serious right now? Like that comes out of my mouth. And later I'm like, I should have not done that. I should have just followed through this emotional journey of whatever that is, but I catch myself doing that all the time. So I'm like, you're, you're toy broke. It's a toy from fricking Sonic. Cool. We'll get another one when you get another, you know, What is the problem? And that's such a good point because you're building, we call it here, Dad Capital. You're building that little bit of Dad Capital every time that you join them in whatever that is. Whatever sorrow, whatever drama that is, you join them. And you build that and man, that's such a good point. I, that is again, I told you like little nuggets I'm putting in my pocket, trying that tomorrow, like it's, it'll happen tomorrow. Right now I'm single dadding it for the week. And my wife is out of town. So

Blandon: 26:52

is.

Oscar: 26:52

I have them alive. They're fed in today, man. I got to say this today. So I was mowing the lawn. I was doing some landscaping, but during the lawn, my girls knew that we had a business call earlier. And then they knew I was coming on here, dude. I come in and the house is spick and span. And I was like,

Blandon: 27:12

Look at you. Look at

Oscar: 27:14

what in my dot, my oldest, led the two little ones, the three year old, I mean, let's just say she didn't make extra, extra messes. So that's a win. Right. So we're good. But dude, I, I gotta like give them credit. Like I came in, I'm like. Is your mom here? What, what is going on? Has she been here the whole time watching me? And then she realized you needed to clean the house? Like, you know, uh, and I said, I helped clean the house. Don't get me wrong. But when she, there's that, you know, you come home one day and you're like, the house is just spick and span. You're like, Oh, this is awesome. Thank you so much. And I'm always appreciative, but man, my girls did that today. And I was so proud. I was like, this is cool. I had, I got to throw some love to my girls here. But it is a really good point, man. I just, I think for me growing up as a dad, I missed some of that dad capital. It's like missing. It's calling in to work. Like I just call it at work, which means I didn't get paid, which means I couldn't put money in the bank. That's what that feels like. As you say it, I've missed these little tiny events. That allow me to build some of that capital to put in their little bank because inevitably I'll break the bank at some point and then I have to go fix it. Right. But, if you have it in there, As they grow up. Cause my fear is starting, like you said, I have a 12 year old. So I want to get that text to say, listen, I might've done something wrong, but I need your help. And I just want to be like, cool, let's do this. I just need two different texts. Like one is like, I just need your help. The other one's like, bring your gun. I just got it, right? Like, which

Nate: 28:43

Yeah, right. Yeah.

Oscar: 28:45

I'm just saying

Blandon: 28:48

Just use the emoji with the gun. write out. Bring the gun. Just use the

Nate: 28:53

Yeah.

Oscar: 28:53

my oldest and I actually had this conversation and she said, come on, dad, because I said, don't put the emoji of the gun on the Because that incriminates you. Just put something that'll tell me and we'll come up with.

Nate: 29:05

Yeah.

Oscar: 29:11

keeping it.

Nate: 29:13

Well, I do. I want to encourage this and I didn't want to forget to say it because, I want to encourage you with this because I don't think I've ever shared this, with anybody, but, I had to take, and you talked about it as dad capital. I had to take a major withdrawal, recently. I had to choose to do it and it was this, um, so she, all of, all of their friends, right. Or like everybody's on social media. Everybody's on Tik TOK and Instagram and Snapchat is the big thing. They don't ask for their number anymore. They're like, what's your snap? And, and. God, that's so awful. Like a boy saying that to my, my daughter, I'm like, where's he at? I punched him in his face because just, ah, and some kid already did it. And she was like, yeah, no, you're like five. You know, like she was awesome. I love it. Every time I think about it, I'm like, yes, go girl. But, she does not have Snapchat. So, her mother and I being divorced, there are things that she has been able to get that I would not have given her now. Right. So with the younger. they were just like, you know, they see people on their phones and they ask questions and I'm like 16 you can have a phone that gives you access to stuff like that at 16 and I probably may even push that. And the reason at 16 is because I want you to be driving. Cause for some reason, the generation of kids, they don't want to drive night. My son and neither does neither did my daughter. They both do now. And they're glad they do, but. You had to shove them out of the nest to drive. And I don't know about you guys. I was like, get me the heck out of here.

Oscar: 30:49

Hey,

Blandon: 30:51

to drive at 13 and 14. I was like, mom, let me just. Let me just pick you up. If you're in the grocery store, let me just go ahead and drive to pick. So I'll, yeah, I don't get why you don't want to drive. Yeah, but

Nate: 31:02

yeah, it's totally, which I get it. Cause social media allows them to interact with their friends. And even just texting is so different than, you know, I I'm old. So I'll be 44 this month. So we had a corded phone on the wall and my dad was a pastor. So you could only got 10 minutes on the phone. That was all you got. So you had 10 friends, you got one minute for per friend or girl. It was really important. They might pick up and be listening on the other end. You know, all the stuff that as eighties and nineties kids, we dealt with there's like that. So when she got her phone, I didn't like all that stuff. I didn't want all that stuff. it's not that she has access to the world. It's that the world has access to her. That's the scary part.

Blandon: 31:45

excellent

Nate: 31:47

And so I was real iffy on that. And I even told her, I don't care if your mom buys the phone and she needed it because we needed to be able to interact without having to go through her mom. There was no, there's no problems there, but I just wanted to be able to talk to her. So that was important. But, I knew she needed it, but I also was like, listen, this is my phone. This is a privilege. You have, it is a requirement because of our situation, but I, I own this. And so there is nothing you do on this that I do not see there is. There is no locking things out. I will find deleted texts. I will find somebody to find them for me, but I will know everything all the time. Anytime, anytime I want to look at it, I will. And, that was something off the start that she knew, but that wasn't just her. That was her older brother too. That will be the other kids. Like people talking about kids needing privacy. Great. Yeah. Close the door when you're changing your clothes and when you're going to the bathroom. But when it comes to the phone, again, the world cannot have. My kids, cause I'm the door, right? And so as a result, I'm at the door with guns and all of that, because I want to protect them as best I can. And so it's like, when I think about that, it doesn't matter what everybody else's parents are doing. I'm the one who, I will look through the phone. I don't care. My wife is the same way. We've said it all the way through. So that said, I didn't want her to have the phone, but it was a necessity. I forget when her mother was saying yes to Instagram and I was like, ah, I don't really want you to, but okay. But when it came to Snapchat, the fact that Snapchat, and I don't know a lot about it, The fact that everything disappears.

Oscar: 33:22

Yeah.

Nate: 33:23

Yeah. Like I didn't like. And the brawl I had to take from her was this. She's like, Dad, all my friends are on there. That's where they talk. That's the group chats. It's all the stuff I'm missing out and I can't talk to anybody. And I was like, listen, I don't know all the reasons I don't like this. This is the reason I don't like it. I know it was started this way. And the people that I knew were using it to hide nefarious activity or keeps, uh, Their, their wife or whatever. I'm like, like, how it started. And so that already has me on edge. I don't like the world has access to you. And I don't like that everything disappears. So other than that, I can't tell you anything else. I just need you to trust that my job is to keep you safe. I don't feel Right. with this app. Nothing about this sits Right. Everything about it feels gross to me, and I don't trust that app. So the answer is no. And that's a massive withdrawal from a teenage girl who's all her friends. Or on social specifically on Snapchat. It's still, no, it's still a no for me and she still doesn't have it. So it's one of those things where I had to literally draw out. I almost went in the red, drawn out on that real hard. No. And a real hard conversation for her and her friends. But it was one that I. Like you have to do the whole Sonic toys, man. It's so funny. You use that one. And like, what I'll say to you is part of me is like, ah, I don't, I wouldn't do this every time, but it's like, ah, go to Sonic, grab something and get one. You know, let's replace that kind of thing because when she's 17 and she's like, I want snap and you go nothing about it feels right. And you just got to trust me. My job is to keep you safe when you withdraw that that's a heavy withdrawal, but you want to

Oscar: 35:09

Absolutely. That's such a great point, man. That's yeah, I, again, another nugget going into Little Basket here for today. Cause that is, it's just something that, you know, I find myself doing. It's just. I don't, I do celebrate things with them, but when it comes to emotional control, that is like, yo, you can't lose your emotions over this. This, this sounds so dumb. I don't say that to them specifically, but certain things. I'm like, wait, are we seriously crying about this one thing? I was in Afghanistan seeing children, like. Eat nothing. You're telling me this is your problem. And I had a, I had a really good friend of mine is, you know, first world problems, right? That's a first world problem. I had a friend of mine tell me, he's like, dude, if that's what your kids are complaining about, if that's what, you know, an adult is complaining about at Starbucks or whatever, then we're probably doing a good job. You know, ultimately we're doing a good job. Is it a good thing? No, ultimately. And maybe we were doing too good of a job. I know we discussed a little bit of some nuances within our country, but, it's such an important thing to, to say to people, to remind people. And that's really what I've gotten from you, those little reminders of like. Oh, I need to do that. Or I've done this. I need to do the opposite of that. So absolutely. I didn't want to ask you though. So you had your son first. Your son is 20. Was your feeling different knowing you're having a girl to finding out you're having a son?

Nate: 36:36

Yes, I don't know if all that played from her physical ailments too and it just played into it as she grew up, but I will say the way I, I've tried so hard to be the same with them and I can't do it. Like it's just totally different. Uh, all the way from, I told you I, threw my son too early, or I, tossed him up. Man, when he was one, I would stand on one end of the pool and just chuck this kid as hard as I could. And, my brother was at the other end of the pool. We were trying to see how far we could launch him. I would put him on my hand and, fire him off. I do this with all of them. But the girls, I don't want to do that. I want to like hold them and make sure they know they're safe. And again, maybe that's just me, but with my boys, I'm like rub some dirt on it. And I don't mean that in like a mean way. I'm like, ah, you're like, yeah, cool. Are you all right? And I've tried to back that down because we do that with boys, right? We have this, tendency to say, well, like man up. And that basically means like, don't feel. And shut up, do what you're supposed to do. Well, I don't really want my son's feeling that, Oh, dad never wanted to listen. So my daughters actually get me listening, but I will say they are more emotional. So like the stuff you're talking about, like, are we really crying about this? I will have that play in my head and I'll hear it. And what you got, like, what I got to do is go. Yep. That's exactly what I want to say, but I'm going to hold that back. And then I'm going to be like, Oh baby, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. And, and I have to force that because there's a part of me that's like, what in the world? But with the boys, I had a tendency to be like, seriously, dude, come on. And I've had to reverse that and try to not treat them more like girls, but just treat the emotions more. You know, we, I don't think women are more emotional. They just express it more and have been allowed to. And the boys just haven't. And my, the kid, my Wyatt, he's seven. He's the one that's most like me that I'm like, If I don't do this Right. I will break him and he's the most and I'll probably do that to him. So I have to pay attention. He's a feeler. He's a deep, deep feeler. Big things go like when something doesn't go right. It's a big, big deal. And to look at any seven year old and say, Yeah. dude, just like nut up. I can't and I can't now because I can't unsee what I've seen, you know what I mean? But I will say that the older one got the worst version of nate feathers And i've literally apologized to him multiple times and we've gone. I mean We have a great relationship, I think. And so I will say that I've gone back and walked through some of that stuff with him. But he got the guy that would be like, dude, seriously, stop it. Rub some dirt on it. Stop your crying. Suck the snot back and let's go. Cause this is stupid. And, and I will say that Amelia did not get that. And so I, I've changed it a little bit. But I will say that I have this a totally different feeling about my daughters. They just soften your heart. You know what I mean? Like

Oscar: 39:31

there

Nate: 39:32

you could be the hardest, most callous man. And then you have a daughter and the next thing you know, they're putting makeup on you and you're wearing a tutu. Cause that's what she asked for. And, guys, obviously with our society today, there's so much about guys dressing like women, all that crap that bothers the snot out of me. But. If my daughter's like, dad, can I put your makeup on? I have literally had to say, I have not shot a real yet. So let me do that. And then we can, you know what I mean? Like, I've been like, let me do some work and then you can do that

Blandon: 39:59

Yes.

Nate: 40:00

for me. they get that and they just get a they get a softened, a softer heart. But I don't know. I, I can only say that that just feels like it just comes from inside. It's not something I'm sure.

Blandon: 40:13

It's a unique experience to be daughtered. And that's what we want to bring on the podcast to show as a dad who also wears the tiaras and they will give me manicures and the whole little spa treatment situation. And that does nothing to My manhood that does because I'm playing with them and that's what they want to do in that moment. You know, I'm sitting here, like you said, you're admiring my background right here, but we play with all these things, right? And this is what their interest is. And I think is our mantra here that we want to be mindful, strong, and present. And we get that also from you, Nate, and we said this before we even push record about you being this thought leader in the space where dads don't babysit my whole life, I cannot, I not exaggerate my whole life. All I heard was dad saying. When they're keeping their kids, what are you doing today? Oh, I'm babysitting. I'm babysitting. That's all I ever heard. I'm not going to lie to you. No gas. That's all I ever heard. Dad's saying they're babysitting. Mom's saying they're with their kids. so when you have a guy like you coming out with this mantra, almost, For guys to grab ahold to, where did that come from for you? You know, where did that Genesis begin?

Nate: 41:42

it's interesting because my dad is not on social media at all. But I told him at one point I just said that this was my That was my handle. And he's like, you know, I used to say that I had no idea. He used to say that I like,

Blandon: 41:54

Every man I've ever heard growing up said they babysit their kids. Every man I've ever heard.

Nate: 42:00

Yeah. apparently he said that, and it was just like put in the back there that that's the default. I will say that the Genesis for me with Instagram and where it came from, I was, I was four kids deep and, and one of my friends had just had his first kid. And he said, he was on the phone with me and he said, Hey man, if you hear the little one I'm babysitting. And I was like, before we go any further, you are being a dad. You are not, that is never something we do. It feels like an insult to me. Right. And so when he said. Rubbed me the wrong way. I'm like, no, dude, if we can use dad as a verb, you are dadding in this moment. It is completely different. And, so for me, it's, it's an insult to say it about ourselves. We're just insulting ourselves. And this was something that I didn't realize until recently. I was having a conversation with my wife and I just thought, women say all the time that being a mother, there's no days off. There's no classes. that. Well, from the past where it was mom stayed at home and dad went to work. We got this concept that dad clocks out and he comes home and then guy like, well, I stopped working. And so when he gets home, vegging out on the couch, drinking a beer or whatever, it's like he clocked out, but dad's don't clock out either. Like you don't clock out, come home and veg on the couch. So you're not being a dad at that point. You're, you don't clock out either. There's no days off for being a dad because you're a parent and that's, that doesn't ever end. Like until we leave this earth, we are parents and we're going to worry about who they like, where they are and how they're doing all the way through their adulthood. And we're going to have more time of doing that. But I had that, I made the connection. It was like a light bulb went off. Every guy, most guys think they clock out. And so that's why they come home and they sit on the couch. We're dads. We don't clock out ever. So,

Oscar: 43:51

If we do it right, even when we leave the earth, we're still their dad. That memory needs to be of, I want this person or this person is with me. Because of the things we've been able to teach, the things we experienced with them, all those different things. Lately there's been a post on there that, uh, from, it's not the Martian, but the other movie with, Matthew McConaughey, where he has this little thing where he says, you know, Tom, like it says, it says, we're now here just to be a memory for our children. And it's been getting me. Cause I'm like, Dude, that's super true. and if we do it right, that memory is good. And that memory carries on and then they in turn, give that to their children and so on and so forth. So you're creating something beautiful, but if we don't do it right, either the memory's gone or in the conversation that we were having, that memory now is used to then continue a negative process. That potentially can harm the entire generation. So it's so important to realize that what we're doing, regardless, if we're doing it right or wrong, what we're doing will impact the future, not just like when we're here, but the future future.

Nate: 45:05

Yeah, I tell men all the time. If we get this right as dads, the crazy part is we have to do it consciously because our dads didn't know, right? I look back at my grandfather and see what he did that changed the family tree. And then I look at how my dad changed the family tree again and chose to do things differently that he didn't want in his life. He took the good, left the bad, and I'm doing the same thing. Right. And so it's generations of choosing to do something different with what we saw as wrong and keeping all the good things. But I keep saying to guys, the crazy part is if we, as dads right now, do this correctly and do it well and do it consciously, our children will do it unconsciously to our grandkids. Because it's the default parenting method to do what parents did, right? So if I do everything I can to consciously parent like go into those situations and hold my tongue and listen and be Empathetic and be that dad that is there for them if I do that now That's just the way you do dadding in the future to my grandkids Oh, like that gets me hyped for dads. Cause I'm like, that's what makes me want to go. Come on dudes. You got to come with me because we can change an entire generation in like an entire, the face of fatherhood in one generation by just choosing to consciously do the

Oscar: 46:27

I gotta tell you, I personally believe that. And obviously I'm on a biased boat here, but I personally believe that the impact may be even bigger if we're good fathers to our daughters, because they're the ones multiplying everything. You talked about this, one of your podcasts, like the man brings something in, the woman will multiply beautifully. Our daughters will then have the opportunity to multiply that a lot more in a much bigger sense than our sons. And to me again, I'm biased,. I only have girls, so that's okay. I'm okay with that bias. But when I do think about that, when I think, you know, growing up in, in my type of family, the culture was, well, you should have boys. You're supposed to have a boy. You've got to have a boy. Okay, cool. I can't really decide that, right? The big man upstairs said, I'm having girls. This is what's happening. And the whole mantra behind that is, well, they carry your name forward, right? Okay, cool. I have three daughters. If my three daughters have three children, we tripled the name, whether the name is there or not, right? So where does this concept come from? Like, where's this mathematics coming from? I know Bland and I have sat down and just come to a realization like we have to bring. These men that have daughters, particularly at the younger ages. Because I'm still there. Blandon is definitely there. I have my 12 year old and I was going in. You Nate, you've been there. You, in fact, you're still kind of, you have your three year old. Right. And you had your 17 year old. So you've had this, I feel like you have this. Awesome amount of information now, which may not work for your three year old. You talked about that and we've talked about that too. Like I've made a playbook. Oh, okay. Go throw that playbook out because we have a whole new human. Got that right.

Nate: 48:29

true.

Oscar: 48:30

But if we can do that right with them, the multiplication in my mind is bigger than with the boys. Although I greatly appreciate the men that are raising good men because that's going to be needed.

Blandon: 48:44

Absolutely. Absolutely.

Nate: 48:47

It's true. Actually, I'll tell you this, this is, some science and I call my wife my voodoo witch because she like knows all this, all like crystals and all that stuff. And I love it. But she told me this one time and I was like, Oh my gosh, that's crazy. It goes with what you said. It's that at some point in pregnancy. My daughter was inside of my grand, of her

Blandon: 49:09

Yes. Yes.

Nate: 49:10

Us, the, when the baby is, when a girl is inside her mother, she has all

Blandon: 49:15

Yes.

Nate: 49:16

that she

Oscar: 49:16

Wow.

Blandon: 49:17

Yes.

Nate: 49:18

so our three generations in grandma, when she's pregnant with her daughter and that like, so my mother in law and my wife and my daughter, Luna Gray, we're all at one point. In the same space as grandma. And so there's three generations of energy. When I say that, I just mean, how did grandma feel? So when we are dealing with our daughters, you're dealing with all of her grandbabies are half there right now. And so you are literally, you're dealing with the next generation as you treat your daughter, the way you do, because the energy with which you give to her and the way she feels and all of That, affects All of the cells in her body, including the eggs that, are inside. And so, yeah, as a father of daughters, men gotta know this. Because how you speak to her, how you treat her, you are literally treating your future grandchildren at the same time.

Oscar: 50:09

that, that just blew my mind because think I know my mother in law, I know my mom and my sister. And I'm like, man, this is making a lot of sense.

Nate: 50:21

Yeah. It's nuts. It's, it's crazy. But that's why I, and I was listening to Gabor Mate talk about this, but he was walking through that and he's like, that's why there's generational trauma that like sometimes people can't figure out why they are the way they are. They're like, why don't, why do I think this way? Why do I feel this way? There's energy that has been put in you from, past generations that you can do nothing about. Until you're aware of it and then start on it. But the more work that we do as fathers and even mothers, as we do that, we, we definitely affect the next generation, even just energetically.

Oscar: 50:54

Well, that just made our job even more important there, Blandon.

Nate: 50:59

And again, the fact that you guys are doing it for specific dads, the daughters just bad ass. I love it.

Oscar: 51:04

Man, we're getting close to our time. I just, the questions in my mind are all there and maybe we can have you back. Nate, we can have another great conversation about this.

Blandon: 51:13

That would be great.

Oscar: 51:14

but I got to ask you, and this is one of our other canned questions, but it's one that just, When I think of, when I think of Oscar, right before finding out about having a girl. I think I could have reacted like this. I could have done this. I wish I would have had more money. I wish I would have had these things. I wish my mind was right. All these different things. And we talked about that in other episodes of how I found out in my reactions. But what would you say? To Nate 1. 0 before the kids, right?

Nate: 51:50

Okay.

Oscar: 51:51

Before finding out your first son's coming, your first daughter, particularly your daughters, right? Cause we haven't talked about your youngest.

Nate: 51:58

Yeah.

Oscar: 51:58

What would you say to that Nate to to get them prepared for that?

Nate: 52:05

Wow. That's a good question. Um, I think what I would want me to know back then is I would want, I would want to say you you don't know everything.

Blandon: 52:17

Yeah.

Nate: 52:18

Presume you do, and be willing to learn as much as you can, because that is what will allow you to become, not just better, what your kids will need. That humility, that's where, that, humility is where it's at as a parent.

Oscar: 52:36

I thought I knew what I was going to get myself into and man, I'm still, we have a podcast about it. I still, I'm trying to figure out what I just got myself into 12 years later.

Nate: 52:48

the moment you figure it out, the next one comes along and you're like, why doesn't this work for this kid? It's just like,

Oscar: 52:54

It's very true. I've experienced that three times now or yeah. Two other times. It's very true. Landon, what else you got for Nate?

Blandon: 53:03

well, you know what I got for you, Nate, you know, my, I guess one of my final questions for you is your love of Christmas drive you this business? Tell our listeners, tell our viewers about, your other venture, which first of all, I'm a, I'm a Christmas kook. If anybody knows me, I'm all about the time and preparation. So my wife didn't know that. And so when we first got married my first year and I ran up the bill, cause I get all the decorations, I'm doing all the things I'm buying everybody gifts. So I love Christmas and I love the fact that you have this company. So just talk about it. Talk about it.

Nate: 53:44

in roofing and it just kind of was an easy, we were in a, we were in a conversation and that somebody brought it up and was like, wow, we can totally do that. And I left the conversation like I'm going to do that. Yeah. And. I ended up visiting my grandfather that same, like, that was in early, maybe September or whatever, and it was kind of just, haha, that'd be hilarious. In October, I went and visited my grandfather, and it was something I was thinking about, and, he was, he was dying, and he just started talking over and over about just different businesses that he started. He was doing something, realized he could make money at it, and then it just grew. It was like he had the golden touch. And I went home and I was like, well, it's in my blood, I might as well just do it. And so, I will say Oscar told me earlier that he's more like the Grinch. the way I, that's the way I was that way. And a lot of that stemmed from the whole, like, everything about Christmas was about gifts and all this spending money drove me nuts. And at the time I was like, it's about Jesus being born. What's wrong with. And then I started making money on it and that might be part of it. But I also was like, dude, the lights, just when you finish a job and then the lights are up and it just brings this nostalgia, right? My mother loved Christmas lights. They were everywhere. And So I think the first one I put up, I thought my mom loved this. We never did this. And then it just went like, from there it would just became, I'm completely opposite. Now, if any of my kids asked to watch a Christmas movie right now, I'd be like, yeah, let's do it.

Blandon: 55:11

So your heart did grow. 10 sizes. Its size. Nice. We're still waiting for Oscar's heart

Oscar: 55:17

Christmas movies don't come into my house until December. I'm serious dude. Like Christmas songs, no. I fully give in in December.. In December, my wife loves Christmas. So in December, the music's always going and the movies are on. So I've tried to change my attitude, but I only do that in December. Cause he tried to do in November, dude, they got people putting up lights, like right after Halloween. I'm like, come on guys. I mean, it's.

Blandon: 55:45

Yes, exactly.

Oscar: 55:48

That's a good business to have, sir.

Blandon: 55:51

Yes.

Nate: 55:53

This year I started October 8th.

Blandon: 55:55

you go. That's

Nate: 55:57

I'll probably start earlier. Yeah. I like

Blandon: 56:00

I love it.

Nate: 56:01

Yeah. People will tell me, they're like, you can put them up earlier if you want. And I'm like, all right, I'll be there. I've put some up on Halloween. I was on a house on Halloween cause I had to get it done. It was a big job. And it. was really the only time I knew I had some guys. And so Halloween day I put Christmas lights up and then went home, dressed my kids for Halloween and we went out and did Halloween stuff. And Honestly, I put mine up before Halloween so that I can turn them on Halloween. I haven't done this yet, but I keep telling my wife, she's kind of pushing against this, but I'm like we need Santa to hold the candy and just flip the Christmas lights on. And that's our

Oscar: 56:33

Hey, listen. That's called good marketing, sir. I'm with you on that.

Nate: 56:38

right?

Blandon: 56:39

No

Oscar: 56:40

If my business was Christmas, If my business was Christmas, I might also bind a little bit more.

Nate: 56:47

you. My leg. Yeah. But I will this too. My daughter the other day said she wanted eggnog and I'm like, well, we can't buy it yet, but I'll look it up and we'll see if we can make some. So I'm, I'm all for, I'm all for

Oscar: 56:58

I'll entertain the idea, gentlemen.

Blandon: 57:00

Christmas in July. Christmas in July. It's coming. It's coming.

Oscar: 57:04

Well, Hey Nate, I know you also have another venture that I'm really excited about. I wanted you to talk about that real quick. I know, again, we're running out of time here, but as, as we mentioned throughout this podcast, I think what you do is important. It's helped me a ton. It's, it's building a community of men that, that will be there present. Again, on our side, we want them to be there for their girls, but then on our side, we've said this many times, raise good men. Because I want my girls to have those options. we do have another venture, so please let us know what that is.

Nate: 57:34

Yeah. so, I started an online community for dads, uh, where we'll go through like a dad's masterclass. It's really just taking men, giving men the opportunity to have a brotherhood to say, I don't know what I'm doing because most of us don't. And the only thing I'm doing is sharing my experience. experiences on the journey, right? I found that when somebody had that experience and told me, and I could go, wow, all right, well, I'm dealing with something similar. And so what I want for guys is. To have a place where they can ask questions, know they're going to get something that may or may not be what they're used to hearing, to change some of those default settings, and so I would call it like a dad's masterclass, but it's really just let's try something new in that idea of changing the face of fatherhood, let's do some new things, and let me help you along the journey so that you can Learn what those are and pull out what you think might work. Try some stuff you don't think will work and see if it works because the whole point is connection, right? You said it. I don't know if that was on or off air, but. You said by the time they're 12, we spent 75 percent of our time with our kids and then it just gets less and less from there. And that breaks my heart. I was telling you guys, I want like the drive in and just all the houses around the cul de sac and they're all. Because I just like I want them near me and I've decided I posted this and people went crazy about it But I was like I'm gonna be the grandparent that goes to my kids I'm not gonna be like you have to come visit me whatever it takes for me to be around you I'm going to you but that's not because I don't like what the grandparents do now. It's because I want to be near them And I can't leave your house. You got work. You've got little kids. They need to have their normal. I'm coming into your life and I'm going to be part of it. So that means when I get there, I'm playing with the kids so that you can go on a date. I'm I look at my and so many people say I get to I get a chance as a grandparent to do it again. With their kids and all I'm trying to do with this community is make it so that they just get to do it twice instead of fixing what they screwed up when they were parents with their, like they can fix it with their grandkids. Just do it and then do it again. And just that way.

Oscar: 59:48

Well, we're excited for that. I know I'm excited for that. I want to see how that rolls out. And you're only taking so many people. I know you mentioned on the, on the video, because it's a lot of work to be able to coach these individuals for sure. So everybody out there follow Nate. I believe, Nate, please correct me if I'm wrong, they send you a message on Instagram to get the information for that. Is that correct?

Nate: 1:00:08

Absolutely. You just messaged me on ad dads don't babysit. It's dads underscore don't underscore babysit. Either my business partner or I will answer those. I mean, I go through the. The requests and the hidden requests, most of that's junk, but sometimes there's stuff in there and if you get to the hidden requests, I'll still find you because I don't want anybody to be left out of what we're doing and to get some kind of help if you need it.

Oscar: 1:00:31

And right now you have the window open. Is that correct?

Nate: 1:00:33

Windows open Right. now. We've got a lot of inquiries coming in, so we're just going through the qualification process to make sure that who we bring in are the people that, you know, obviously we want to be a part of this. And I don't say that in a sense of like, oh, we're gonna keep people out, but it's really just how committed are we? Because I'm willing to do a lot for this and so I want those people that really want to be a part of it to come on. But yeah, message me on Instagram and we'll

Oscar: 1:00:58

Awesome, man. Anywhere else they can find you? I know you're on Instagram or you're on Facebook or anything else.

Nate: 1:01:04

you can find me at, uh, it's, it's a small part and honestly, if you want to see the, the little video that I put together about the community, you can go to, DadsDontBabysit. tv, click learn more. So it's just DadsDontBabysit. tv. If you click learn more, it will take you directly to that video so you can learn more about what the community is. I've got some merch. If you want to grab it, you can go there. It says shop at the top and you can go

Blandon: 1:01:26

Come on, Mert.

Oscar: 1:01:27

There you go. All

Blandon: 1:01:29

I

Nate: 1:01:30

I made a mug for Father's Day. So that's an option.

Blandon: 1:01:33

You got a shirt? You got a t shirt or a hoodie?

Nate: 1:01:37

Yeah.

Oscar: 1:01:38

right.

Blandon: 1:01:38

I'm gonna grab one, man. Okay.

Nate: 1:01:40

dude.

Oscar: 1:01:41

Well, as you know, at the Daughter podcast. We're for that. So if we can help with that, please let us know. And then, Blandon is, at

Blandon: 1:01:51

thomas. Undoubting underscore

Oscar: 1:01:53

listen guys. I'm not a social media guy. I look for Blandon on social media by typing Blandon in.

Blandon: 1:01:58

guy.

Oscar: 1:01:59

All right.

Blandon: 1:02:00

We don't, we don't let him.

Oscar: 1:02:03

But

Blandon: 1:02:04

He's learning.

Oscar: 1:02:06

I'm learning,

Blandon: 1:02:06

learning.

Oscar: 1:02:07

but you can find the daughter podcast or daughter podcast. At all the handles at all the places at daughter podcast. So find us there. I believe on expert, uh dotted pod. Cause they wouldn't let me finish the word. So that's cool. But you can still find us, look for us, Nate, we're going to put your stuff down in the show notes on, on our YouTube so that people can click on that and go find you. Man, I cannot thank you enough for taking the time to hang out with us, to let us know you a little bit. To give this type of information, to our listeners, out there trying to be good dads for their daughters. It is such an honor to have you on, man. And again, I hope that we can bug you a little bit more, some other time, maybe another topic, maybe we dive in specifically to other topics with you that you're dealing with, maybe after you have your first round of, folks in your, community and see what we learn, see what we can take, But again, Nate, thank you so much for your time. Thank you for your wisdom to drop on us. I'm taking those little nuggets and I'm going to use them. I promise you will this are being used. Brandon, anything else?

Blandon: 1:03:12

No, just thank you again, Nate, for all that you're doing for. The face of fatherhood in a time where, you know, we're being maligned. You are a positive outlet and relatable and honest and vulnerable. And man, I appreciate what you're doing. And even this dad masterclass that is good work in the world, man. And, we want to encourage you with that. Thank you so much. And thank you for also putting out these Christmas lights. That brings me joy like no other. So. amazing.

Nate: 1:03:45

I'll come back on anytime.

Oscar: 1:03:46

Everybody, find us on social media. You can also send your inquiries to us at, conversations at daughterpodcast. com. If you have, any questions, if you have topics you want us to cover, connect with us, come have conversation with us, build this community, build the community of fathers that are present, mindful, and strong, be with us here at the Daughter Podcast. I'm Oscar Blanding over in Houston on the other side and Nate. over in Nashville. Thank you for your time and listening. We'll see you on the next one.