Episode 1.1 - Bat out of Hell | Not a Dry Eye in the House

The shallowest deep delve in to the works of Meat Loaf and Jim Steinman begins here.

Comedians Emma Crossland and Sam Wilkinson know a bit about Meat Loaf but, as they're rapidly learning, not enough to do a review podcast. Still, they'll give it a good old go.

In this opening episode our pair cast their critical eyes over the songs Bat out of Hell and Not a Dry Eye in the House and act like they could do better.

Chat out of Hell is a is a review podcast: all music extracts are used for review/illustrative purposes. To hear the songs in full please buy them from your local record shop or streaming platform. Don't do a piracy.

Music extracts on this episode:

Bat out of Hell by Meat Loaf, from the album Bat out of Hell (1977)
Tell Laura I Love Her by Ray Peterson  (1960)
Not a Dry Eye in the House by Meat Loaf, from the album Welcome to the Neighbourhood (1995)

Transcript

Sam 0:00

Welcome to a weird parallel dimension. A dimension where the 1950s never ended, but also, nor did the 1970s. A dimension where promises are binding and where killers stalk the bloodshot streets. A dimension where radio DJs get to spend absolutely ages in the toilet. Welcome to Chat Out of Hell. Bingley, bingley, bingley, chat out of hell. Hello, I'm Sam Wilkinson.

Emma 0:26

And I'm Emma Crosland.

Sam 0:27

And we are on a quest. Now, like all right thinking people, we think the songs of Meat Loaf and his on again, off again best bud, Jim Steinman, are simultaneously the highest of high art and the hoggiest of hogwash.

Emma 0:40

How did they achieve this magic? The only way to find out is to replicate it.

Sam 0:44

So every on this podcast, we're going to take two of Meat Loaf's songs, pull them apart to see how they work, and then take copious notes, because at the end of the series we're going to write our own Jim Steinman esque operatic rock song.

Emma 0:56

Will it be good?

Sam 0:57

Probably not.

Emma 0:58

Will it be better than Chat GPT?

Sam 1:00

Also doubtful, but that is the bar that we've set ourselves. So let's give it a go! So that's the sort of pre scripted intro bit. What are we actually doing here?

Emma 1:10

We've shared a lot of car journeys over recent years and on our way back from gigs, we've defaulted to the Meat Loaf playlist, haven't we?

Sam 1:19

We have. Because I think Meat Loaf is the universal best car karaoke I like a lot of Meat Loaf, but I wouldn't describe myself as a mega fan.

Emma 1:28

Yeah, I think I'm sort of on board with that. I have loved Meat Loaf for many years. Since childhood, I was raised on a diet of Meat Loaf, which in no way contributed to me being a very dramatic teenager.

Sam 1:40

And just to clarify, raised on a diet of Meat Loaf means you were eating records

Emma 1:45

Eating the records, yeah, yeah, yeah,

Sam 1:47

Yeah. was a that's a little reversal joke there there.

Emma 1:51

All the best jokes are the ones that you explain.

Sam 1:54

Meat Loaf, simultaneously one of the coolest dudes in rock and roll and a colossal fucking dork. Yes. Yeah. So that's where we're coming at it from because we're colossal fucking dorks and simultaneously a little bit cool? No.

Emma 2:07

No, no, I don't think we can fool anybody with that.

Sam 2:09

Okay, so anyway, here's the deal. Every episode on this show, I'm gonna bring one of Meat Loaf's big, massive hits to the table. We're gonna pull it apart, we're gonna dissect it with our complete lack of musical ability. Which is to say, I played the cello until the age of ten.

Emma 2:24

I played piano until at some point in my teenage years when I just got too sulky to continue with it.

Sam 2:30

Nice. Yeah. And you can play the ukulele now.

Emma 2:35

Sort of. We're gonna have a go.

Sam 2:36

are gonna have a go, cos we do have to produce our own Jim Steinman esque song at the end of this series,

Emma 2:42

I feel like I've overpromised.

Sam 2:44

So, here's the deal. I bring a Meat Loaf song. One of the famous ones we all heard of. We'll talk about it, we'll pull apart some facts. We'll talk about why it's good, we'll talk about why it's shit. Emma will bring a, B side. A deep cut. We'll just talk about why it's shit. Probably. And then we'll all go home! If that sounds good, stick around. If it doesn't, I hate you. Here's a sting.

Emma 3:09

Hey Sam, since this is the first episode, why don't we prepare them for the songs that we've already chosen? What have you gone for?

Sam 3:14

That's a great ad hoc idea. I've gone for a very minor Meat Loaf song, nobody's heard of it. It's called But Out of hell.

Emma 3:22

But Out Of hell?

Sam 3:23

But Out of Hell. Yes, and what will you be playing for me?

Emma 3:26

I'm going to be playing Not A Dry Eye In The House.

Sam 3:29

Ooh. Okay, listeners, if you can tolerate it, please do pause the podcast now, go listen to Bat Out of Hell, which will be ten minutes well spent, and then Not a Dry Eye in the House, which-

Emma 3:39

Won't be.

Sam 3:39

Yep. Cool. Maybe some ads will go here. Realistically, they won't ever. We'll see you after the break.

Music 3:45

...like a bat out of hell, I'll be gone when the morning comes. When the day is done and the sun goes down and the moonlight's shining through. Then like a...

Sam 3:59

You've just listened to Bat Out of Hell on your own, we've just listened to it here, and we listened to it in the way that Meat Loaf and Jim Steinman intended, very quietly and taking copious notes of little things that we can make silly little jokes about. Emma, what are your thoughts?

Emma 4:14

Well I think we should start with the intro. How long is that intro? Do you have the

Sam 4:17

I've got the facts for you here. So the album version of that song is 9 minutes 52 seconds, of which the intro is 1 minute 57.

Emma 4:26

Wow!

Sam 4:26

you can fit a whole nother song

Emma 4:28

You can!

Sam 4:29

into the start of this. And that actually brings us on to the first, Jim Steinman signature move. Which is writing too much song. And for two people who've never written a song before, we've set ourselves a real challenge

Emma 4:44

We've got to write too much. Also, a little concerned that our musical ability is going to be somewhat tested with writing a two minute intro, where there's no, you know, we're okay at, like, doing words and that. As I've

Sam 4:57

can do words that, yeah absolutely. But noises are words without even the word. So

Emma 5:02

so we're just gonna have to go, Ooh, a lot. I'm seeing chart success written all over

Sam 5:07

mmhmm

Emma 5:08

One of the things that came to mind during that intro was on a few of our favorite British quizzes on the telly. Particularly on House of Games with Richard Osman. There's an excellent round where the contestants have to hit their buzzer when they think that a song intro would have finished. So it begins with the intro starts to play and then it fades out, then they have to time it when they think that singing kicks in. And I would love to watch the dead air

Sam 5:37

I don't mean to disparage the collective participants of the show House of Games, but I don't think any of them have the sheer balls it takes to sit there and not press their button for

Emma 5:49

For For nearly two minutes.

Sam 5:50

Yeah,

Emma 5:50

another quiz with intros round is Nevermind the Buzzcocks. I would also like to see them do the full intro on that.

Sam 5:56

I mean we could do it here now if you like. Boop, boop, boop, boop, boop You're supposed to come in Boop, boop, boop, boop No? Alright!

Emma 6:08

I honestly don't know what you're doing.

Sam 6:10

That was the piano

Emma 6:12

it? Oh, good this song

Sam 6:15

tells the everyday story of a teenage boy living in a city which is both full of murder and rabies.

Emma 6:22

Rabies? Yeah,

Sam 6:23

there's a boy foaming in the heat I have checked the, symptoms of sunstroke doesn't come up. The only thing that makes humans foam is rabies.

Emma 6:32

Right, okay.

Sam 6:34

So he decides to do it with a girl. Yeah, places her on an impossible pedestal, as he does in every single song. And we'll talk about the sexual politics of Meat Loaf, I think.

Emma 6:43

Only wants to do it once, though, doesn't he?

Sam 6:45

Well, yeah, absolutely. So he places her on the pedestal, heads off on a motorbike that he doesn't know how to drive, and then needlessly crashes at the same curve that he's always crashing at.

Emma 6:55

Because he's distracted by thoughts of the sexy lady.

Sam 6:57

He's distracted by the sexy lady, yes. He spends half the song singing about how the girl is the best thing in the world ever. and concludes that in spite of this he still needs to leave immediately his motorbike so he never sees her again. The idea of buying a car never occurs to him.

Emma 7:14

But in this version of the timeline, cars aren't sexy.

Sam 7:17

This is the first ever song that Meat Loaf has put out to the world, this is him setting out his stall, he's saying sexy things are girls and motorbikes. Inspired by 1950s teenager car crash songs, like Tell Laura I Love Her.

Emma 7:33

There are 1950s teenager car crash songs. I didn't know that this was a genre.

Sam 7:38

Have you never heard Tell Laura I Love Her? Well, you're going to be mildly surprised. So this was the first single that Jim Steinman ever bought. And it's sort of,

Emma 7:46

You have done your research.

Sam 7:47

yeah, you can, hear the evolution I think. This is by Ray Peterson came out in 1960.

Music 7:51

He saw a sign for a stock car race. A thousand dollar prize it read. He couldn't get Laura on the phone, so to her mother, Tommy said, Tell Laura I love her, tell Laura I need her,

Sam 8:22

and it goes on for another two minutes. I'm sure you can predict the end.

Emma 8:26

Death.

Sam 8:26

Yeah! He only goes and dies, doesn't he? And as he's dying, he's able to monologue about how he loves the sexy girl. Although it was the 1950s, so she would have been a Cute Goyle.

Emma 8:37

Cute goyle. Cute

Sam 8:38

So that was Tell Laura I Love Her by Ray Peterson, which you can fit two thirds of into In the introduction to Bat Out of Hell. But you can hear the influences, I think. You can hear the bum bum bum bum, Jim Steinman absolutely loves a bum bum bum bum, as we'll hear in other songs off this album, but the themes of cars and death and

Emma 8:59

Cars, Death and Sex?

Sam 9:00

Well, Cars, Death

Emma 9:01

Death and Romance?

Sam 9:03

Yeah, it's gotta be romance for Ray Peterson, but Jim is just pulling off that facade and saying, Yeah, we did it a lot, and then I crashed. So yeah, that was the first single that Jim Steinman ever bought

Emma 9:14

I'm surprised. I don't know why I'm surprised, because I guess that was what was there at the time.

Sam 9:19

LAUGHTER

Emma 9:21

And, you know, it's like, oh, okay, so this is my inspiration, but now I'm going to go and write what I want to hear, which is sex and death.

Sam 9:27

Well, it's this crossed with Wagner, and we'll talk about his love of Wagner later on Leader of the pack was another inspiration

Emma 9:35

I can really see Leader of the Pack. Particularly with all the motorbike noises well.

Sam 9:39

That was not a motorbike noise that we heard there. No, that was Todd Rundgren on his guitar which caused Jim Steinman to have a big sulk because he wanted a real motorbike noise.

Emma 9:49

want a real motorbike in the studio?

Sam 9:50

I imagine he probably did, he definitely wanted a brum brum brum noise. And he had a big strop about it until Todd Rundgren got his guitar and went MRAAGH on it, and it was fine.

Emma 10:01

Oh, boys.

Sam 10:02

I've got a quiz for you. Do you wanna do a quiz?

Emma 10:04

Yeah go on then

Sam 10:04

I've got three Bat out of Hell facts, and I want you to tell me which one of these is a lie.

Emma 10:08

Okay.

Sam 10:09

Is it A Meat Loaf the producer Todd Rundgren, begged Jim Steinman to stop writing after six minutes. Is it B. One review called this song a barbaric, savage assault on the ears. Or was it C? Clive Davis, who was a record exec at CBS, he was among the many execs who absolutely rejected this album, did so so cruelly that Meat Loaf stood outside the building shouting, "Fuck you,

Emma 10:38

Clive!"

Sam 10:40

one of those isn't true, Emma.

Emma 10:41

One of those isn't true. The first one begging Jim Steinman to stop writing, that just sounds like what me and you do in the car, so I think it's that one

Sam 10:49

you're wrong, that's true

Emma 10:50

true oh my god!

Sam 10:52

This is from Wikipedia, Rungren and Meat Loaf were angry with Steinman when he refused to stop writing when the track was already six minutes long. He knew that he had to do the crash. And that comes from an interview with Jim Steinman off a DVD. The lie was the review calling it a barbaric savage assault on the ears, which was a review of a Wagner opera. Tristan and Isolde. Jim Steinman clearly loved that very much because he mentions it in an interview with Sound Magazine in 1978 as something to aspire to. The Clive Davis quotes. So they went to see Clive Davis to pitch the album and he said to them, "Do you know how to write a song? Do you know anything about writing? If you're gonna write for records, it goes like this. A B C B C C I don't know what you're doing. You're doing A D F G D B C You don't know how to write a song! Have you ever listened to pop music? Have you ever heard any rock and roll music? You should go downstairs when you leave here and buy some rock'n'roll records."

Emma 11:53

Wow.

Sam 11:54

Yeah.

Emma 11:54

Wow.

Sam 11:55

Yeah, fuck you, Clive.

Emma 11:56

Yeah, fuck you, Clive.

Sam 11:58

But also, lovely advertising pitch on the way out.

Emma 12:00

Yes.

Sam 12:00

Listen guys, it's not for us, but we do have a shop downstairs, so do pick up a few Little Richard records on the way out. These are some quotes from, people who commented on the YouTube video.

Emma 12:12

Okay, oh that's always a good one

Sam 12:14

This one is from user TYUK4XI. and he says, "I weep every time I listen to him. Ballads did not really exist until Meat Loaf." you spelt that ballards". Ballards "An amazing novel inside a song, and I understood all of it."

Emma 12:34

Hell

Sam 12:34

of a boast there.

Emma 12:35

I understood all of it.

Sam 12:36

I definitely understood this.

Emma 12:38

The sentiment behind If I've got to be damned, you know I want to be damned, dancing through the night with you." I really like that.

Sam 12:45

It's nice, isn't it?

Emma 12:45

I love that

Sam 12:46

So we have been, mildly cruel so far, but this is a really good song.

Emma 12:49

It's a proper banger. I've loved it forever.

Sam 12:53

How old were you when you first heard this song? Because I was definitely pre teen.

Emma 12:57

Yeah, I was pre teen and, i it has, I mean the whole Meat Loaf oeuvre has shaped my teenage years particularly, as an overdramatic twat, but in a slightly adorable way, I think?

Sam 13:10

If you come across music like this before you really know what romance is for and about it kind of shapes your expectations of it in what is probably a weird way for two suburban northern England twats in the late 1990s, early 2000s, But the people who were teenagers in 1977 when this first came out. with their caddies, and their driving up to Make Out Point. maybe that still had disappeared at that

Emma 13:38

in

Sam 13:38

in the 1970s, and they're talking about a world that was already in the past, I'm not sure.

Emma 13:42

This must have been revolutionary to hear, because it was like nothing else around at the time.

Sam 13:50

Listeners, write that down. Revolutionary. We don't just do jokes, we also do wankers. WNsWCNMVP3820 said, "Jesus Christ, and people think Bohemian Rhapsody is long." And I don't know whether that's that's a good Jesus Christ or a bad one.

Emma 14:08

It's a long song. But I love every second of it.

Sam 14:11

There's not a wasted note in this, is there?

Emma 14:14

I mean, it's definitely at least three songs. Because this is another Jim Steinman point. Why write one song when you can cram three in there?

Sam 14:22

And for a man who's dying at the foot of a burning bike looking at his own heart, he's certainly able to monologue about it for quite

Emma 14:29

a long

Sam 14:29

time.

Emma 14:31

Well, what else have you got to do in that situation, you know? You've not got a mobile phone because it's the 50s stroke 70s. We're not really sure. So you can't like call for help. You're relying on somebody to sort of wander past really. And even then, you know, they've got to then go back and find... it's a lot. You might as well just ponder on your own death. Yeah, this explains a lot about me.

Sam 14:56

Pull up, Emma. Pull up. I'll just do another couple of YouTube quotes. Josh Friedman, 9775. "Play this at my funeral so I may return stronger."

Emma 15:06

Oh god, funerals are bad enough as it is, without having ten minutes to sit through through, dying for a piss.

Sam 15:12

You're not asking for this at your funeral.

Emma 15:15

No, I don't think this is the one for, er

Sam 15:17

Okay.

Emma 15:18

Not when there's I Would Do Anything For Love, which is even longer.

Sam 15:21

You want that at your funeral?

Emma 15:22

Feels wildly inappropriate.

Sam 15:24

I mean yeah, I I won't do

Emma 15:29

I'd certainly hope nobody would.

Sam 15:30

LAUGHTER So this one is from Peter Rettenmayer 5050. I don't know why everybody's got numbers on YouTube. Listened to this while researching Nixon. Gotta say, really energised me". I don't know the link.

Emma 15:45

No, neither do I.

Sam 15:47

And finally, PureSesh7985, five years ago, they said WHY DOES IT SOUND SO FUCKED UP?

Emma 15:54

Well.

Sam 15:54

I think that's what everybody thought at the time, to be fair. He's Clive Davis.

Emma 15:59

Why does it sound so fucked up

Sam 16:01

Why does it sound oh, sorry, the quote is "Why does it sound all fucked up?"

Emma 16:05

well, that's because the world is, man.

Sam 16:07

Oh boy, You've done it, Emma. When

Emma 16:09

you're a, teenager and you're riding a motorbike because you're a rebel. Oh fuck No. far too scared.

Sam 16:17

Yeah, they're like cars but worse in all

Emma 16:20

possible least in a car you've got somewhere for your sweets, your drink to go McDonald's wrappers. Oh, you've been in my car Yeah, I'm not rock and roll enough for a motorbike. Both of my parents have in the past ridden motorbikes. So, I never really felt the need to rebel in that way.

Sam 16:35

My dad rode a motorbike before he had kids, we used to play with his old bike helmets in the garage. It's lovely, isn't it? But I also put myself in his place now, thinking I used to be young and cool and driving up and down on my motorbike, and now small children have my motorbike helmet on", and it's sort of, oh, we age, we change. Sunrise, sunset, cat's in the cradle with the silver spoon.

Emma 17:00

Oh god. Having just turned 40, I'm having quite a few existential crises like this. So, thanks!

Sam 17:07

Well, do you know what, we'll talk about this later on in the podcast because Meat Loaf and Jim Steinman both age as well. And they try to stay young and cool in a way that does not work. And I know we both love Bat Out of Hell 2. But that album is full of old men thinking they're 20.

Emma 17:25

Oh, big time.

Sam 17:26

So we'll chat about that later on. Anything else on Bat Out of Hell before we wrap up?

Emma 17:30

I think I'm covered

Sam 17:32

The only thing I have to add is that it does cost 99p on iTunes.

Emma 17:36

getting a lot of song for your money

Sam 17:37

A lot of song for your money. That costs exactly the same as The Logical Song by Scooter. So,

Emma 17:44

Oh,

Sam 17:45

make the right choice there. Yeah. So there we go, Bat out of Hell. Now Emma, we're going to introduce our special rating system now where we decide how good our Meat Loaf songs are on two scales. We've got one scale for the partnership of Meat Loaf and Jim, and then one scale for Meat Loaf on his own. From Jim Steinman to Jim Fineman to Jim Declineman. Where are you putting that on that scale?

Emma 18:10

Can we just edit this little bit out? That I'm going to ask now. What's the good one? Is it Jim Fineman or Jim Steinman?

Sam 18:16

It's Jim Steinman surely.

Emma 18:17

Right, okay. So fine as in, Yeah, it's

Sam 18:20

I don't think we should edit this bit out. because

Emma 18:23

I just wanted to clarify because it's not clear in the notes

Sam 18:26

Yeah, that is the scale. I'll introduce the scale for Meat Loaf on his own as well, the Meat Loaf scale will be Martin Lee Aday. Fuck me! Ahem. That bit's being edited edited out

Emma 18:38

Oh, you get to to sound fine I get to sound like a twat.

Sam 18:41

Marvin Lee Aday. To Marvin Lee Okay. To Marvin Lee No Way

Emma 18:47

LAUGHTER

Sam 18:48

we're agreeing this one's a Jim Steinman

Emma 18:50

Oh this is definitely a Jim Steinman.

Sam 18:52

JIM STEINMAN Steinman Maybe we'll do a sting for that. Maybe I'll just do the voice. Dunno. I do just want to drop in one Jim Steinman quote. I'm continually amazed at how ineptly some people, rock critics in particular, are able to deal with humour. Bat Out of Hell is a song about obsession and about going as far as you possibly can go. This title song is the least understood element of the entire album. "It's not hard to understand, is it?

Emma 19:22

No.

Sam 19:23

He doesn't like his home. He likes the girl. He wants to drive away on a motorbike.

Emma 19:27

I wouldn't say that it was, heavily layered in metaphor.

Sam 19:30

Well, maybe it is and we're idiots. Maybe Jim Steinman is listening to this now saying, "Jesus and I thought Bohemian Rhapsody was

Emma 19:39

lost.

Sam 19:40

Emma, what song have you brought to the table again?

Emma 19:42

It's Not a Dry Eye in the House from the Welcome to the Neighbourhood album, which followed Bat Out of Hell 2.

Music 19:52

Curtain comes down.

Emma 20:05

So that's Not a Dry Eye in the House it was released in January 1996. So 12 year old Emma there. And that song was frequently in my playlist up to the age of 15 and a half when I discovered indie music. That was part of my, heartbreak. playlist that I would regularly have on. So, age 12, I was obsessing over David Nicholson, even though he was transitioning into one of the naughty boys by that stage. I'm not a lover of a bad boy, so it fizzled out once he became a full on naughty

Sam 20:36

boy There's a difference, I think, between a bad boy and a naughty boy because a bad boy is somebody who gets on a motorbike and drives away when they're done having sex you, whereas a naughty boy is somebody who spray paints a bum on the side of a wall.

Emma 20:51

I was 12, so I think it was very much naughty boy territory. But yeah, it was frequently in my "Oh no, I'm heartbroken and I don't know how to cope with it" playlist.

Sam 21:02

I'm so sad so I'm going to listen to this song about crying.

Emma 21:06

And then do a big cry This is very much how I spent the time aged between 12 and 15 and a half.

Sam 21:12

What happened at the age of 15 and a half?

Emma 21:14

15 and a half I met a boy who got me into indie music because apparently as a teenager, feminism really wasn't happening for me. It was all about, "Huh, the boys and I'm sickened by it. Yeah, that's when I got into indie music and he broke my heart in a different way. But it's okay because everything's fine now. Probably. Okay. No, it, it's all, it's all good now. I'm I'm very happily married.

Sam 21:39

It's weird. A lot of people don't add the verily. verily. Verily, sir. Forsooth.

Emma 21:45

I'm happily married.

Sam 21:46

Mine marriage

Emma 21:47

most

Sam 21:48

intact.

Emma 21:49

So yeah, this song is like, formative.

Sam 21:51

Ah, that's lovely. Thank you for that biographical background

Emma 21:54

I will be sharing other bits of- they'll all be remarkably similar to that I was sad so I had to cry to a song.

Sam 22:02

It's lovely to get the context of this song that I, a 38 year old man, am about to kick the shit out

Emma 22:05

Oh please kick the shit out of it because it is appalling. It's another one of the Meat Loaf songs where a woman's fucked him over. So there's two different angles that he seems to take. So there's the one where he's Humping and Dumping, the one night standers, or there's the women that hurt him badly and maybe that's why he can't commit.

Sam 22:25

This isn't a well, it is a Steinman trope, but it's also a Meat Loaf's

Emma 22:28

trope of his own. Because this isn't a Steinman

Sam 22:30

No, this is I mean, mean, that. You know how I knew it wasn't a Steinman, Emma?

Emma 22:35

Because there was no intro.

Sam 22:37

Well, partly that, but also because I predicted every rhyme that came. up in those choruses. It was so fucking Route 1, pick up a rhyming dictionary and let's go..

Emma 22:47

It was written by Diane Warren who's written a few for this particular album, including the big single from it Which I can't remember the name of now. But on the Wikipedia article about Diane Warren, says, Warren has never married, does not think of herself as a person of commitment.

Sam 23:04

Pffft!

Emma 23:06

So, I dunno.

Sam 23:07

I half think she's a colossal wanker, and half respect the shit out of that. I didn't know you were allowed to opt out of, Pffft! Basic societal norms. I'm not saying you have to commit romantically, or that that's fine, but you sort of have to do what you say you're gonna do, Diane.

Emma 23:26

It does say, she's never married and does not think of herself as a person of commitment. I would assume it's to do with the marriage and

Sam 23:31

just No, I'm taking that to mean Shut off everything, ever. Well, have you seen her lately?

Emma 23:36

That's true, I I call me. Diane, call me.

Sam 23:41

She is the person who says, yeah, let's go for drinks, and then every time drops out at the last minute.

Emma 23:47

Oh, I can't be doing with that.

Sam 23:48

Yeah.

Emma 23:49

She's written for Taylor Swift. Christina Aguilera, Gloria Estefan and NSYNC Aerosmith. She wrote I Don't Want to Miss a Thing. She's written for Celine Dion.

Sam 24:01

What did she write for Celine Dion?

Emma 24:02

Because you loved me.

Sam 24:04

Because you loved me.

Emma 24:07

She wrote Unbreak My Heart by Tony

Sam 24:09

Braxton. Oh, I'm furious now. because that Is a banger, And I think that is the other thing that unites us here is love of massively over bombastic men on motorbikes. And also whatever the female inverse of that is.

Emma 24:24

Oh, holy shit. She wrote, if I Could Turn Back Time by Cher

Sam 24:29

If I could find a she's really shortchanged Meat Loaf here, because she has written some good songs. And then she wrote this.

Emma 24:36

I mean, it certainly tortures the metaphor, doesn't it?

Sam 24:39

we're being very generous, this is a tragic lament for theatre an art form. This is one of his more literal videos. if you've not seen the video, do check it out, I guess. But it's Meat Loaf watching a lady acting in a play. being sad, and also staring at her as she crosses the street and gets into her car, which isn't cool. It's not cool, mate.

Emma 25:02

Don't do it, boys. Don't do it. We don't like it.

Sam 25:06

Did sound like there's gonna be a joke there, but there's not. no, it's fine.

Emma 25:09

Please don't stare at us like that.

Sam 25:11

Okay. I don't think anybody who's gonna listen to this is thinking, "I might pop out for a stare tonight. So yes, the lazy writing. There, rhyming with hair, rhyming with air, blue, rhyming with you, rhyming with through me, the, history, sound, around, down, all of these I predicted as they were coming

Emma 25:39

along

Sam 25:39

and Jim Steinman must have been absolutely furious because he would have rhymed hair with gorillair. Um,

Emma 25:49

On Welcome to the Neighbourhood, he's only got a couple of songs. I don't think he'd written anything new for that.

Sam 25:56

What we've done there, listeners, and we will cut all that out, is we got distracted talking about great great Jim Steinman songs. And we're here to talk about a not great

Emma 26:06

you say not great.

Sam 26:07

song.

Emma 26:07

It's

Sam 26:09

oh, okay. Go on, make your argument for it then, Emma.

Emma 26:12

Have a huge fondness for this whole album. Because I think it came out at a crucial time in my music career. Exist, you know, when Yeah, sure. 12 onwards, I think is when I really started to get into listening to music. And by this point I'd already been to see Meat Loaf Live. Oh. 'cause it was my first gig, age 10. Oh. Just gotta get that in there. That's, yeah. Yeah. I, went, went to see him three times over the years.

Sam 26:36

I think I turned down a chance to see him once once and then

Emma 26:40

I was, really into it. And when the new album came out, which wasn't the same, but had similarities. Cause I feel like the Diane Warren songs are sort of Steinman alike. If you know what I mean, that they're kind of trying to tie into the same

Sam 26:57

I think that's maybe her problem with this song. She's trying to be too Steinman

Emma 27:00

These are like very softened versions of Steinman songs, and I'm sure we'll pick up on those more as we go on. So I have a real soft spot for

Sam 27:08

them. No, that's fine, and actually you've just picked something this is a thing that happens, I think, it's a universal experience, you get into a certain kind of music, as you're starting to get into music at 12, 13, whatever, maybe a bit younger, you latch onto a really good band or a singer that's been great for ages, they're fantastic, everybody's talking about them, they're on the radio, whatever. You decide, yes, I am a Meat Loaf person now. I am going to buy Meat Loaf albums, and you're not yet old enough to realise that 90 percent of what all musicians make is dross.

Emma 27:39

See Alanis Morissette.

Sam 27:41

Absolutely.

Emma 27:42

Still a huge fan!

Sam 27:44

So there is the thing you loved Meat Loaf, Meat Loaf is great, I will buy all of Meat Loaf. I will listen to the, let's call it a 7 out of 10 song off the lesser known album that followed the World Megasmash album.

Emma 27:59

Yeah.

Sam 27:59

I

Emma 27:59

think

Sam 28:00

tapped into something important there and that's, we'll not talk about Catatonia's third and fourth LPs

Emma 28:03

Lphi,

Sam 28:04

on this podcast.

Emma 28:06

We'll save that for Chattatonia.

Sam 28:08

We will save that for Chattertonia. Yeah. lovely stuff. Anything else to say on this one?

Emma 28:16

I need to know what your rating's gonna

Sam 28:17

be. The music video. Lifts it ever so slightly. It's not a great video, it's But it is a very silly Meat Loaf's flair for the theatrics comes through more in the video than in the song.

Emma 28:30

Yeah.

Sam 28:30

He sounds bored as shit on this song. Particularly early on. And I don't think he's ever sounded Ironically, he's never been so hot and he's never

Emma 28:41

on. You know, it reached number 7 in the UK

Sam 28:45

I'm not surprised, people are

Emma 28:47

But it only got to 82 in the US charts. So evidently the British prefer tortured theatre metaphors. I,

Sam 28:53

Well, we are a people of tortured the only other thing I wanted to call out before we go on that the video also features my favourite cinematic trope, the spinning newspaper flying screen.

Emma 29:08

Yeah, because music video is very much Meat Loaf reminiscing about a lost love.

Sam 29:11

That's right.

Emma 29:11

Who is a starlet.

Sam 29:13

She's famous actor. and From From the 1950s. yeah, we into into a 1950s car and then a big newspaper flies at the screen to say, A star is born! Just in case you were under any doubt as to what this video is about. so the scale we're working on today is Marvin Lee Aday, Marvin Lee Okay, or Marvin Lee No Way. It's not his worst work. It's not his best. I'm gonna rate it Marvin Lee Okay.. Marvin Lee okay!

Emma 29:48

Good, good.

Sam 29:53

What important tropes are we going to take from both of these to put in our Jim Steinman slash Meat Loaf classic?

Emma 30:00

Right, Well, lengthy intro.

Sam 30:01

Lengthy intro.

Emma 30:03

Tortured metaphors,

Sam 30:04

tortured metaphor.

Emma 30:06

Overblown theatrics

Sam 30:09

I think actually this really works for us as a pilot show because reviews of both of our comedy shows have come in as overlong and full of overblown theatrics. I'm lying, we never get reviewed.

Emma 30:23

As if anybody's reviewed us.

Sam 30:28

That was Chat Out of Hell! Did you enjoy it, Emma?

Emma 30:30

I did, yeah!

Sam 30:32

I enjoyed it too! Next month, what are our songs going to be?

Emma 30:34

I'm going for Midnight at the Lost and Found.

Sam 30:36

Oh, wow!

Emma 30:37

From Midnight at the Lost and Found.

Sam 30:39

That's excellent, and I am going to go with, You Took the Words Right Out brackets, Hot Summer Night. Well, I think we're going to have some fun with those. Yeah, so if you want to give us your opinions on those two songs so that we can treat you like YouTube commentators or Sounds Magazine reviewers, yeah, write in with those as well, let us know what we think.

Emma 30:57

Yeah, write in with your opinions, your thoughts, your feelings. Feelings. We're all about the feelings here at Chat Out of Hell. I

Sam 31:04

Tell us about your feelings. Do you have any Meat Loaf memories? Did Meat Loaf steal a sandwich off you at Reading Festival?

Emma 31:10

Did Meat Loaf ever go to Reading Festival?

Sam 31:12

I don't know if he ever played there, He maybe went.

Emma 31:15

he?

Sam 31:16

he?

Emma 31:17

I suppose so

Sam 31:17

if you have opinions on Meat Loaf's acting career as well, do chuck those in. If you want to tell us how we did on today's songs you can do that, if you've got anything to add we'll summarise that at the start of the next show. If you want to tell us about, You Took the Words Right out of My Mouth, brackets, Hot Summer Night. Or,

Emma 31:33

Midnight At the Lost and Found.

Sam 31:34

email in with those. Or if you've just got some lovely Meat Loaf stories or thoughts to tell, email them all in, chatoutofhellatgmail. com I assume we've registered the email address yet. If it's If it's not that, I'll let you know. That's the end of the podcast. Any final words, Emma? No. Okay. Let's rev up our motorbikes and drive off out of here. vroom! vroom! chugga chugga! Vroom! Alright, we'll see you all next time. In the meantime, like subscribe, give us five stars, do all the things you supposed to do. Tell some friends and we'll see y'all in two weeks time on the 6th of May for the next Chat out of Hell. Bye!