Meat Loaf's sexiest song makes it to the table. Join Sam and Emma as they delive into Paradise by the Dashboard Light then Nowhere Fast, and have a stab at the real questions in life :
Which is sexier, a woman on a motorbike or a girl band?
What's the best lascivious sound you can make?
What IS a huckleberry?
Next time: We'll wind up series on in style with Loaf/Steinman's last song Train of Love and watch the dumbest music video Meat Loaf has ever made, with I'd Lie For You (And That's The Truth)
Keep your comments, reviews and arguments flying in to chatoutofhell@gmail.com
Chat out of Hell is a is a review podcast: all music extracts are used for review/illustrative purposes. To hear the songs in full please buy them from your local record shop or streaming platform. Don't do a piracy.
Music extracts on this episode:
Paradise by the Dashboard Light by Meat Loaf from the album Bat Out of Hell (1977)
Nowhere Fast by Meat Loaf from the album Bat Attitude (1984)
Nowhere Fast by Fire Inc from the album Streets of Fire Sountrack (1984)
Meat Loaf's sexiest song makes it to the table. Join Sam and Emma as they delive into Paradise by the Dashboard Light then Nowhere Fast, and have a stab at the real questions in life :
Which is sexier, a woman on a motorbike or a girl band?
What's the best lascivious sound you can make?
What IS a huckleberry?
Next time: We'll wind up series on in style with Loaf/Steinman's last song Train of Love and watch the dumbest music video Meat Loaf has ever made, with I'd Lie For You (And That's The Truth)
Keep your comments, reviews and arguments flying in to chatoutofhell@gmail.com
Chat out of Hell is a is a review podcast: all music extracts are used for review/illustrative purposes. To hear the songs in full please buy them from your local record shop or streaming platform. Don't do a piracy.
Music extracts on this episode:
Paradise by the Dashboard Light by Meat Loaf from the album Bat Out of Hell (1977)
Nowhere Fast by Meat Loaf from the album Bat Attitude (1984)
Nowhere Fast by Fire Inc from the album Streets of Fire Sountrack (1984)
Here we go. We got a real pressure cooker going here. Four episodes down. Nobody's listening. No downloads. Bottom of the iTunes chart. There's the subject and there it is. A show about Meat Loaf and Jim Steinman. Look at them go. This show can really fly. They're reading Wikipedia, really turning it on now. They're not letting up at all, they're gonna try for secondary sources. This show is starting with an overwrought reference to this episode's songs, and here comes the joke, and what a joke! They're gonna laugh too hard at their own witticisms, here it comes, they're out! No, wait, safe, due to editing! The editor really takes away some of the obnoxiousness out there of them laughing at their own jokes. Emma steps up to the plate, here's the pitch, she's going, and what a set of teenage memories she's got. Sam's trying for third, here's the video, it's amusingly been recorded in the past! Holy cow, YouTube comments! He's taking a pretty lazy approach out there, almost daring listeners to try and turn it off. The listener glances up, opens their podcast app, and it's paused. Paused so they can go listen to one of the songs the host hat for some reason told them to pause the podcast and then come back. Here they go, press play, it's gonna be close. Will they come back? Will they just stay listening to Meat Loaf? Holy cow, I think they've made a podcast! Welcome to Chat Out of Hell.
Emma:You could have warned me.
Sam:Didn't to.
Emma:Bravo, really bravo.
Sam:Any news since last time?
Emma:I'm no longer so tired that I can see through time, which is really good. I've done some sleeping and it's nice to be back in, you know, the normal County that we've recorded this The
Sam:normal county. Just one of the normal counties, guys
Emma:Back in our regular space.
Sam:We're both back from sunny Brighton in my house in Yorkshire where a thunderstorm just opened up around us as I was setting up
Emma:Just how it should be.
Sam:Yeah, we had to pause the podcast so I could reassure my dog for twenty minutes
Emma:She was very sweet.
Sam:She's a very sweet dog.
Emma:She is.
Sam:But this isn't a podcast about sweet things. This is a podcast about rock and or roll.
Emma:We take two Meat Loaf and or Jim Steinman songs and we talk about them in a slightly alarming amount of detail sometimes. Yes, Punishing detail sometimes
Sam:Yeah, and then we rate them on our patented Meat Loaf Jim Steinman scale and go away, considering that a job well done. So we've had messages
Emma:Ooh, exciting.
Sam:Yes Charlie Etheridge Nunn. Wrote into chatoutofhellatgmail. com with his Meat Loaf memories Meat Loaf memories he says My family had no place for Mr. Loaf when I was growing up So when I was given a cassette with Bat Out of Hell 2 on it at one point, I didn't really care for it. As my musical tastes grew and changed, the tape sat neglected in my collection. This story's not going well so One day, one of my role playing group was excitedly texting that he'd passed his driving test and was coming down our road in a car. We got to the window and saw him proudly drive the wrong way up a wrong one way street. As well as verbally mocking him from the upstairs window, I grabbed an object I had to hand, bat out of hell too, and threw it at my berk of a friend. The tape was destroyed, the friend was publicly embarrassed, but at least he correctly observed the one way system from that point on. It's very rock'n'roll to throw your tape at a car.
Emma:Is it, or is it just yobbish?
Sam:Oh. Okay. Crikey, I didn't expect this.
Emma:I'm sorry.
Sam:Okay, Charlie, you've not made a friend there.
Emma:Also, I mean, I'm pretty sure it's you know, child abuse to not introduce your kids to Meat Loaf at a formative age. Well,
Sam:they did, apparently, and he didn't care for the tape.
Emma:And yet here he is now.
Sam:And here he
Emma:A reformed
Sam:character, Yes, for listening, Charlie. Sorry that Emma just completely took you apart. think it's very rock'n'roll to throw your tape at a car, but it's not at all rock'n'roll that Meat Loaf has influenced someone to learn how to drive properly, because that's not what he's about.
Emma:perhaps if your friend had appeared on a motorbike, you know, that would have been more
Sam:yeah, but he would have had to explode afterwards.
Emma:That's very true and we don't encourage people exploding on this podcast
Sam:podcast. No. LAUGHTER Do we not? Well, yeah, thank you for that Charlie. I'm going to shout out to Charlie's podcast, which is Casual Trek, where they watch three episodes of Star Trek every episode, and then rate them. Yeah. He's got a much harder job than us. Do check out Casual Trek if you like Meat Loaf and Star Trek. I do. And if you want to give us your Meat Loaf memories, do write in to chatoutofhellatgmail. com. As you can tell, they don't have to be legal. What Charlie did was a crime. A dangerous crime.
Emma:Which does make him quite cool,
Sam:Like Meat Loaf.
Emma:Like Meat Loaf it's what he would have wanted.
Sam:It is exactly what Meat Loaf would have wanted. So, listeners, as always, we have each brought a Meat Loaf or Jim Steinman song to the podcast for us to analyse, tear apart, make stupid jokes about. This episode, I am bringing one of the all time biggies, Paradise by The Dashboard Light, and Emma is bringing
Emma:Nowhere Fast because i'm still stuck on the Bad Attitude
Sam:album That's right, Emma can't afford a new CD
Emma:It's hard times at the moment
Sam:is hard times. So we are trapped in the mid 80s and the late 70s. So Go away, find those on YouTube, Spotify, wherever you want to find them. Listen to Paradise by the Dashboard Light first. Charlie also Sent in an anecdote about Paradise by the Dashboard light.
Emma:excellent.
Sam:I used to host parties where folks would drink and play Rock Band. Paradise by the Dashboard Light was the only Meat Loaf track on there, and one of the songs my partner can do really well. As most other people were drunk, they would forget just how long that song goes on for. Take her up on helping with the singing duties, and then regret about halfway through. The only thing more cruel than that was when she got people joining in on One Week by Barenaked Ladies.
Emma:I think she should come and join us when we finally get round to doing our Meat Loaf karaoke
Sam:Meat Loaf karaoke?
Emma:We need to make it happen. Four
Sam:songs In an hour. Job done. That booth pays for itself. Alright. Listeners, go away. Listen to Paradise by the Dashboard Light. We're about to do that right now. See you in a minute.
Music:See paradise by the dashboard light. We were doubly blessed. We're barely seventeen and we were barely It's a little bit of a stretch. Ain't no doubt about it, we were dumbly blessed. We were about a dress.
Emma:It's just so good.
Sam:It's so good. Listeners, we've just listened to all of Paradise by the Dashboard Light. I hope you've listened to the whole thing and not just that little clip that I've put
Emma:I also hope that you've sung heartily along
Sam:It doesn't get any better than this.
Emma:I really love this one it's everything that I want from a big silly rock song.
Sam:thought you were going to say from a romance
Emma:Ha ha ha
Sam:everything I want from a boy.
Emma:I love the brutal honesty in there. yeah, alright, let's do it, so that they can shag, and then the resentment thereafter. The eternal
Sam:resentment. thereafter, I like that combined with the magical realism that that promise that he makes in the car that night is eternally
Emma:binding. Yes. They might as well have got married there and then. Well yes, exactly but there's no divorce in the world of Meat Loaf.. No. no, no is
Sam:We'll find out So yeah, really good song. That was released in 1978 but recorded in 1976 The video if you've not watched the video on the YouTubes it was recorded on a soundstage. Ellen Foley on the song. But in the video, that is Carla DeVito. lip syncing to Ellen Foley's recording because Ellen has already moved on from the band by then. But yeah, it's a bit, it's a bit sexy, isn't it, that video?
Emma:It is a little
Sam:When the baseball announcer
Emma:bit happened, Oh, crikey.
Sam:They intercut footage of actual baseball from the ye olde past with Meat Loaf and Carla DeVito proper sticking their tongues down each other's throats
Emma:they are having a right snog
Sam:They yeah. Woof!
Emma:I don't know what to say,
Sam:Yeah! It's a sexy vid for a sexy man. Meat Loaf's costume.
Emma:Costume I'd have said outfit
Sam:Outfit. All right. Let's call it an outfit. I thought you were theatrical.
Emma:His frilly shirt.
Sam:His frilly shirt. Yeah, I like his frilly shirt. He looks like he's just finished a cocktail party for vampires. And he's taken off his jacket and tie, but he's still got his
Emma:on. He's still got his fancy shirt on and, you know, it's like the after party after, yeah.
Sam:girl in a car
Emma:by any chance. yeah, Yeah, yeah, it's all perfectly fine.
Sam:Would you like some facts about
Emma:song? I would love
Sam:Okay, So fact one. Talking about divorce. In early live performances of the song, the final bit, where they wish they could break their vows, That was followed by a spoken word epilogue in which the two characters, presumably having been married for a number of years, argue about what to keep after the couple's divorce. The argument is cut short by the female shout This is from Wikipedia, so The
Emma:Yeah, females. Oh,
Sam:Ferengi. The argument is cut short by the female shouting, And I'll keep the baby! Which leaves Meat Loaf's character, previously unaware of the pregnancy, speechless. Immediately after, he ends the argument by screaming incoherently.
Emma:Oh.
Sam:Yeah.
Emma:drugs were rife back then, weren't they?
Sam:I'm quite glad that bit didn't make it into the song.
Emma:Yeah, it would have been a bit of a downer
Sam:a Well, it's quite a downer anyway, right? Two people doomed to eternal misery because they did it once in a car.
Emma:But it is still a groove, you know? It's hard to be too down when you've had a lovely time boogieing to people's misery, yeah. Oh, wow.
Sam:Emma's in a cheery mood tonight guys
Emma:sorry, I'm not sure what's going
Sam:Pull up!. Jim Steinman is credited on the sleeve notes as performing keyboards and lascivious sounds.
Emma:If anybody out there is making a record and requires lascivious sounds, I'd like to volunteer, please. Oooh. Aaah. Oooh.
Sam:Oh that is, that's quite lascivious
Emma:Thank you, thank you.
Sam:Steinman said,"I was a teenager right when sex was going from being overly repressed in the early 60s to totally free in the 70s and it was very confusing. Shit. I remember shaking like a leaf the first time I was having sex. Terrified I was doing everything wrong, and a little bit horrified."
Emma:isn't that how everybody feels? I think so. The first time?
Sam:I think that's
Emma:the It's supposed to be pretty horrific, isn't it? Let Let me rephrase that. It's supposed to be charmingly inept.
Sam:CharmIngly inept. that's the problem though. Jim Steinman could never be described as charmingly inept
Emma:No.
Sam:Jim Steinman does everything at 150%. If
Emma:If this was a Belle and Sebastian podcast
Sam:Ha ha ha ha
Emma:charmingly inept is
Sam:What would our Belle and Sebastian podcast be called?
Emma:I don't know. I'm just trying to think now.
Sam:Fold your hands, child, you walk like a podcast Bravo, Thank you!
Emma:Is that coming after Chattatonia
Sam:anybody who fits our Venn diagram. So that's Jim. The part of Girl, check the sleeve notes, that's what it's called. It's played by Ellen Foley She described her working relationship with Meat Loaf as a"beautiful, feisty, joyful relationship. Meat and Jim brought me into the consciousness of the rock and roll world. And through Paradise by the Dashboard Light, I get to be a horny teenager for all time". Yeah, fair play. Yeah, Well done, Ellen. She also said about the end of the song,"I'm praying for the end of time so I can end my time with you. I think marriages go through that. I've definitely felt that in my marriage that I wish everybody would just drive off a cliff." The baseball announcement there was done by Phil Rizzuto, who was the real announcer for the New York Yankees. Steinman quote again."Todd Rundgren," the producer, for anybody who's not followed along,"thought it was an idiotic idea. He said, Phil who? Why? Why are we doing this?" And we've discussed this before, that Jim Steinman comes in and makes stupid demands of Todd Rundgren. In episode one we talked about how he wanted a real motorbike for the for the sounds on Bat Out of hell, And Todd Rundgren just went BLEGH on his
Emma:guitar. I imagine Todd Rundgren is, is just I bet he looks tired,
Sam:In my imagination, Todd Rundgren is the Kiff to Jim Steinman's Zapp Brannigan.
Emma:that's it, isn't it?
Sam:So Phil Rizzuto did the announcement without actually hearing the song Rundgren apparently forgot the tapes that day when they took him to the studio. But Rizzuto did say,"This isn't anything dirty, is it?" To which Steinman said," No, no, it's about baseball. Steinman and Meat Loaf then went to Yankee Stadium a few years later to present them with a platinum record and Rizzuto ran up saying,"Steinman, Meat Loaf, you huckleberries! Why didn't you Why didn't you tell me this was dirty? The nuns are never gonna forgive me. They won't leave me alone at the church about this. Everyone's telling me, didn't you know the kids are having sex in that car?" I love Phil Rizzuto.
Emma:that is just, that's so lovely. That's so sweet.
Sam:That's what Steinman said happened. Meat Loaf says different. Meat Loaf says,"Phil was no dummy. He knew exactly what was going on and told me as such. He was just getting some heat from a priest and felt like he had to do something. I totally understood, but I believe Phil was proud of that song and his participation."
Emma:As he should be.
Sam:I have found no evidence that Phil Rizzuto was proud of that song and his participation.
Emma:Have you found evidence to the contrary?
Sam:No, just that he definitely always claimed that he never knew about the I think he liked the song, but I, There's a lot of myth making between Steinman Meat Loaf.
Emma:I'd gathered that.
Sam:And they're often at odds with one another. I really want to believe Steinman's version
Emma:it
Sam:includes the words huckleberries.
Emma:Huckleberries! Adorable! I'm going to start calling people
Sam:You huckleberries! So yeah, he seems like a very sort of wholesome, churchy kind of a guy.
Emma:Caught up with this filth!
Sam:Caught up in this absolute filth. That does have some lovely ooo, shap, shap, shap, shap, I love the little doo wop. Ba ba shoo, shap, shap, shap. Some of that appears later on, I think, in Jim Steinman's own record. Cos, he's only got two ideas. I still don't really get what the base system is. I think you have to be American for
Emma:I don't understand
Sam:have asked Americans and they all look like So, I'm assuming first is kissing, then second, groping.
Emma:For want of a better term, probably.
Sam:I've written groping third oral, fourth
Emma:doing it,
Sam:or is second a boob grope, and third a bits grope? I don't
Emma:I mean, your descriptions are delightful, by the way. So I mean, I wonder if it's changed over time as
Sam:well.
Emma:I dread to think.
Sam:think the TikTok kids are like First base is,
Emma:first base is anal. That's the first.
Sam:I didn't want to say that, Emma, I was trying to keep this classy
Emma:yeah. But we've established that I'm, I'm
Sam:You're not, Yeah. Okay, so so if you are one of the TikTok kids, do let us know what your generation think the base system is? And what would that translate to in cricket? Have you ever watched any baseball?
Emma:It has been on in the background of bars while I've been in them, but I haven't actually paid any attention, because I've usually been busy drinking and
Sam:As sports go, it's quite like cricket in that there's a lot of time to drink beer and read the paper sort of, and you just look up now and then and see what's happening. So it's quite enjoyable.
Emma:Yeah, can see the appeal.
Sam:Do you want to do the quiz then? Okay, here's the quiz.
Emma:I'm also looking for the Scooter reference.
Sam:Emma, one of these three statements is false. These are all quotes from Meat Loaf. Statement one, this is on the song's success. Meat Loaf said,"It's all about the energy and that people can have a good time in big crowds. It's not really about the song. It's more like a special energy whenever you hear a Jim Steinman song." Quote two. This is on a rumour that the song was originally 27 minutes long. It certainly could have been, but I seem to think that it was originally 12 minutes long, and it had to be cut down to the 8 plus that it ended up being on the record. But I wouldn't be surprised by 27 minutes at all. One of the ongoing battles was trying to get Jim to cut down the length of these songs". Or was it quote 3? And this is a quote about the album, Bat out of Hell."These two professors did this psychological test in the US Medical Journal to determine the subject's state of mind. They've started to use the Bat Out of Hell album as a sort of Rorschach test. Basically, the bottom line is this. If you don't like Bat Out of Hell, then you have a problem. They say that if you know anybody and they don't like Bat Out of Hell, you'd better be careful, they could snap at any moment. It's a medical fact now." Three Meat Loaf quotes, one of them isn't.
Emma:I 100 percent believe that quote three is what he would say. So I'm gonna go with number two.
Sam:quote two It certainly could have been, but I seem to think that it was originally 12 minutes long and it had to be cut down to the eight plus that it ended up being on the record. I wouldn't be surprised by 27 at all. One of the ongoing battles was trying to get Jim to cut down the length of these songs". That was a Meat Loaf quote. Meat Loaf was responding to a question about it being 27 minutes long originally. Do you know who started that rumour?
Emma:Who? Meat Loaf. Of course.
Sam:This is in interviews about ten years apart. Do you want to guess out of the other two?
Emma:Go on then, number one.
Sam:Number one."It's all about the energy and that people can have a good time in big crowds. It's not really about the sound. It's more like a special energy whenever you hear a Jim Steinman song." That is the lie. That was actually said by Phil Speiser in an interview with Glasgow Times in 2017. Phil Speiser is of course a member of Scooter and he was talking about the logical song. Dude,
Emma:I knew it would be in there somewhere oh God. more
Sam:to talk more about the medical journal quotes? Yes, so he says, This is a real quote from him."These two professors did this psychological test in the US medical journal to determine the subject's state of mind. They've started to use Bat out of Hell as a sort of Rorschach test. If you don't like Bat out of Hell, you have a problem. They say, if you know anybody and they don't like Bat out of Hell, you'd better be careful. They could snap at any moment. It's a medical fact now." That was a real quote from a Meat Loaf interview as far as I can determine There is not now, nor has there ever been, any publication called the U. S. Medical Journal, or any derivatives of that. I recruited a biomedical scientist that goes through five pages on PubMed to find papers which include the words Meat Loaf, and they're all talking about bacteria and cooking and things. He made that up! He just completely pulled it
Emma:it out of his arse.
Sam:One last bit on my section. I always go through and get the YouTube comments. We've got a few good ones on this one. RadioAce318, he said,"I don't always listen to Meat Loaf, but when I do, so do my neighbours."
Emma:Yep. Agreed.
Sam:My fondest memory of this song is when my dad played it for me driving down the highway in his Firebird, and him explaining the 1 to 4 bases to his teenage son, that I now realize was his own weird way of having the talk with me.""Thanks, Dad." KindaSlyGuy, please explain to us what bases, are we need the talk. There's quite a lot on this theme. Obviously there's a lot of comments on the theme of, you know, I listened to this with my first girlfriend and we did it a lot. And you get a lot of that on all of the early Meat Loaf stuff. Sacredo zero."My dad had a rule for my brother and I that when we turned 16 and got our driver's license, we had to write a five page paper about this song and its meaning before we were allowed to go out on dates"
Emma:Brilliant. Oh, that's incredible.
Sam:Isn't that wonderful? Just thought I'd share and yes, I'll be doing this with my own children. one day"
Emma:That is amazing.
Sam:One more on that theme, Peter Nicholson 233."Back in the early 80s, I was rocking out to this in my shed. My father walked in and asked me, What does the baseball thing mean? I said, I don't know. He said, good, and left." Here's what I like. That shed belongs to a teenage boy. Shed. Sheds are for old men
Emma:Maybe this was like, instead of his sort of basement hangout My My rocking out shed. If you're gonna listen to it, you listen to it down in the
Sam:listen to it in listening shed. I'm not having that filth in
Emma:my house.
Sam:And feed pigeons while
Emma:you're there.
Sam:there. So that's the sexy side of it covered. And then I do have two Meat Loaf memories from the comments. Damien Christian 8536"playing a slot machine in Rothersthorpe motorway services around midnight. Meat Loaf passed me. He had a bigger guy shoulder to shoulder each side."He paused and said, Do you have a dime? Took 10p from my winnings and put it in the slot, pressed go, then quickly walked on. My friend on the machine next to me said, That's Meat Loaf! I knew on first sight, but was struck dumb. He was performing at Birmingham, but although a big fan at the time, I couldn't afford to go there."The dime didn't win anyway."
Emma:Wow
Sam:What an awful image
Emma:That's so bleak, I can imagine the horrible lighting
Sam:yeah
Emma:that yellowy effect that has
Sam:I, you see the slot machines at the services and you think who's
Emma:uses them? Look at
Sam:then Meat Loaf comes along and effectively steals 10p from you. And forces you to gamble some more. That is very Meat Loaf.
Emma:It's equally cool and bleak as hell
Sam:Yeah, if that had happened in a casino, that's cool. But that was at motorway services at midnight.
Emma:After a gig in
Sam:After a gig in Birmingham. so that's one Meat Loaf
Emma:memory.
Sam:Here's another from m1DnightHour.
Emma:Mm hmm.
Sam:I'm not pronouncing it the way you want me to pronounce it. Write it with an I if you mean it that way."I got to spend some time with him when he played at the Rossino in clay. Working security detail. I will never forget how he was telling the girl backstage during the show to bring out his food. Yes, his plate of food, and put it on the drum riser so he could eat. It was quite a sight to behold him eating a full steak dinner mid concert." No,
Emma:Now, I've seen him several times and I've never seen him eating steak on stage.
Sam:What was he eating?
Emma:I don't think he was eating anything. I remember he was chewing gum and occasionally spitting it into the crowd.
Sam:Oh my god, that was
Emma:Horrible! Horrible! Dirty boy!
Sam:I know! Were the crowd up for that? I
Emma:don't really know. I was in this sort of seating area and these are the people that had got the standing tickets okay so maybe they were like a
Sam:and rush towards it.
Emma:I mean, no, no, who's going to scream and rush towards old man gob.
Sam:So, Emma, it's time for us to rate this song, and as the listeners will know by now, we have our patented song rating scale, so every song that involves Jim Steinman is rated on a scale of Jim Steinman to Jim Fineman to Jim Declineman. Where are we going to rank this?
Emma:It's obvious, isn't it? This is a pure Jim Steinman.
Sam:J J J J JIM STEINMAN!
Emma:I really like that one. That's good. I'm always intrigued to see where they're gonna go.
Sam:It's a bit Trogdor influenced, I think, that one
Emma:Trogdor
Sam:Trogdor That's a Jim Steinman! Emma, it's time for your song, just remind the listeners what you're bringing today
Emma:I'm bringing Nowhere Fast from The Bad Attitude album
Sam:Listeners, go away, find that on whatever. Is there a video for it?
Emma:Is a video for it. Make sure you check the Meat Loaf one out first. And then we'll talk about what else has happened with it. In a minute
Sam:Ooh, intriguing. Listeners, we'll see you in 30 seconds. so we've just listened to Nowhere Fast and had a jolly lovely time watching the video.
Emma:Oh, it's magnificent. So Nowhere Fast was from the Bad Attitude album, which came out in 1984.
Sam:I have a couple of thoughts on this. The first time I listened to this song, I dismissed it, I didn't really like it. It took me a couple of listens to get into it. And I really enjoyed that
Emma:one, Drew, because the
Sam:video is
Emma:fucking nonsense. It is mad! So there's a, brilliant description of the video that I found. And it says, Nowhere Fast features Meat Loaf and his band performing the song in concert, interspersed with scenes of him thinking someone's out to get him. But it turns out his band and crew were surprising him for his birthday.
Sam:But It's so silly.
Emma:There's
Sam:sort of like a shadow assassin guy following Meat Loaf around the
Emma:yep
Sam:Dropping stage lights on him and stuff! And then
Emma:It was all just for a surprise birthday!
Sam:surprise
Emma:birthday party
Sam:there is just a point where the camera just focuses on a woman's tits for
Emma:just tits. Tits! Five seconds of tits.
Sam:My main note on Nowhere Fast is that it sounds like the theme tune to a show about a robot guitar player on the run from the government
Emma:I think that's, probably the, vibe.
Sam:It's so 80s
Emma:I too have done some YouTube quote, digging for this one. So Botzerbrand said,
Sam:Hi, Botzerbrand
Emma:"Only familiar with the version used in Streets of Fire. Never knew Meat Loaf had a cut with sound samples that sound like they came from a damn Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles arcade game."
Sam:he he he he he yes it's exactly that vibe
Emma:John Blue 3, 3, 2, 1. 6 3 said, I'm sorry, but I can't stop laughing. I keep thinking it's Jack Black doing a Meat Loaf impersonation.
Sam:Hang on though. Jack Black is a walking Meat Loaf impersonation. The only time Jack Black is not doing a Meat Loaf impersonation is in the film Day of the Jackal. You've not seen it. No, he just plays a normal nerd who gets shot by the baddie.
Emma:Fair
Sam:he's an arms dealer and the baddie's an even baddier baddie than him so he
Emma:him. Okay.
Sam:Yeah, and then he just plays Meat Loaf for the rest of his career.
Emma:Which, I think is fine. Chris Bond from the NME said,"The tone, as always, is that of the teenager who never quite got over the shock and disappointment of making it into his twenties." Ha ha!
Sam:Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! He's got your number.
Emma:it absolutely is correct, isn't it? The single was released on a number of different formats but my favourite was the limited edition motorcycle shaped vinyl.
Sam:vinyl. Oooohohohoh
Emma:Sam, I've got a picture of it.
Sam:Ahhhhh
Emma:Imagine that bad boy playing on your
Sam:looks like that. Yeah. Listeners look up the cover of Bad Attitude. I guess we've, we've not, we've talked about Bad Attitude quite a bit, we've never talked about the cover art, which is a sexy lady on a
Emma:Oh yeah looking sexily
Sam:into the distance.
Emma:They've managed to turn that into vinyl
Sam:a vinyl.
Emma:motorcycle there is some sort of animal skull And also animal print going on there she's
Sam:a very 80s sexy lady isn't she
Emma:she's looking very, sort of,
Sam:We talked about Mad Max last week. She's an absolute Mad
Emma:Max reject. Yeah, yeah, total. You've said The song's grown on you?
Sam:The song has grown on me yeah
Emma:It's a grower, not a show at, wait, hang on.
Sam:Hello. No, I think that was talking about the last song there. I'm gonna blame the mix The vocals are too far back in the mix it's quite hard to pick out the lyrics on the first couple of times round. And I'm getting old and crotchety.
Emma:You want them singers to enunciate?
Sam:I do, I would like it if Meat Loaf enunciated more. and his producer just turned up his dial a little bit ahead of that WAH WAH WAH wAH which by the way is marvelous.
Emma:Well, I'm glad that that's grown on you because I want to try something else out on you now. So, this wasn't the original version of the song. The original version was by Fire Inc. Which is the band that Jim Steinman formed specifically for the film Streets of Fire. Originally written for the Streets of Fire soundtrack and they were assembled by Steinman just for the film, recorded two songs for it.
Sam:Tell the listeners about
Emma:streets of fire. it's a film from 1984 the year of my birth, so fine vintage. And it's One of those films that could only have been made around that sort of time. So it's sort of a dystopian future, rock and roll. Kind of fighting.
Sam:Punk kids fighting the government
Emma:Punk kids fighting, I mean, not necessarily the government. I think there's a kidnap in it, and it's just like, action and rock and roll, yeah.
Sam:Okay. Oh, do you know what? I'm picturing the Warriors.
Emma:I think it's got that kind of vibe to it, yeah. Yeah, that sort of thing. We, we absolutely have to watch it. But the, the version of Nowhere Fast performed by Fire inc., who, let me see if I can find the
Sam:I know,
Emma:Inc. I know, Fire Incorporated. Fire
Sam:Incorporated. who went out of business
Emma:According to Wikipedia, which I know is a cop out, but you'll enjoy it, Fire Inc. was an improvised Wagnerian rock studio project created by Jim Steinman specifically for the film, featuring uncredited singers Laurie Sargent of Face to Face and Holly Sherwood as the female lead vocalists. They don't appear in the film, so it's But yeah, they were performed specifically for the film, which I think is amazing considering the production values that have gone into the songs.
Sam:So the song appears on Fire Inc first and then Meat Loaf pinches it for his disappointing album
Emma:I mean, I assume he's given it.
Sam:yeah, he it.
Emma:But both come out in the same year. So Streets of Fire and Fire Incorporated's version comes out earlier in 84, and then Meat Loaf's comes out later. Before we listen to it, there is another quote from YouTube. From Eduardo BSN83. Better than the Fire Inc. Streets of Fire's version. The other version is cool, but I'm bored. This is great. More rock and roll. More balls. The Streets of Fire version is like a teenager version. The Meat Loaf version is the man version."
Sam:I don't like this man. assuming
Emma:man. I, I too am assuming man.
Sam:I've been listening to a lot of Bonnie Tyler lately.
Emma:Of course.
Sam:And for the podcast I'm definitely veering towards Steinman's stuff is better when women are involved We'll pick that thread up later on, but Ooh,
Emma:Absolutely. So, have a look at this
Sam:again, listeners. It's not hello again to you, but it is to us because we lost the recording for everything after this point. So we've just had to watch Fire Inc. Nowhere Fast again in order to have some more opinions about it. And it's a Friday morning now instead of a Monday night, so I think we're much less in the mood for Jim Steinman. But never mind! We'll get through! Nowhere fast! Fire Inc. Based on the music video, it appears to be a film about young people sticking it to the man and
Emma:In the 1980s.
Sam:in the 1980s and a sexy girl who looks like Jessica Rabbit singing into like a big old timey microphone. This version So this is like early 1980s, isn't it?
Emma:Yeah. This version came out before the Meat Loaf version. In the timeline. But they both came out in 1984. there's some real differences between the two of them. It's not just a different style. Cause Meat Loaf's is much more, sort
Sam:Wah wah wah wah, man rockin
Emma:Man rock! Whereas this is, this is like, Ah, something completely different but wonderful. I love this version.
Sam:So this is now the second time I've heard it. like it a lot more this time around. As I did actually with the Meat Loaf version, I had to listen to that a few times. What I will say, and this is an opinion I had on Monday and I still maintain it, this sounds like a warm up for what Jim Steinman later does with Bonnie Tyler.
Emma:This feels like a warm up for some of the Bat Out of Hell 2 stuff as well.
Sam:Oh, yes, it does.
Emma:Some of the lyrics certainly remind me of Out of the Frying Pan and Into the Fire, which is one of my all time favorites. It starts out,"Lying in your bed and on a Saturday night, you're sweating buckets and it's not even hot."
Sam:Oh, yeah
Emma:It's sexy time!
Sam:We're not gonna touch on Out of the Frying Pan and Into the Fire in this first series but it's one of our favorite Meat Loaf songs. It's fucking stupid listeners It's a song about Meat Loaf on a hot day looking out of the window and cat calling a woman for nine minutes
Emma:It's so silly and so much fun. But also the piano at the beginning of Nowhere Fast, this version, reminds me of some of the sort of music in Everything Louder Than Everything Else.
Sam:Okay. Yeah. Yeah.
Emma:It feels like it's a rehearsal for that.
Sam:And well, there's the lyrics. Godspeed, Godspeed. speed us away which is a lyric that already appeared on Jim Steinman's solo album,
Emma:This feels like a total mishmash
Sam:a it's a total mishmash, and it just goes back to the idea that Jim Steinman only has two ideas. And he recycles them perpetually for about 20 years
Emma:but damn, they're good ideas
Sam:they're great ideas. I'm not going to argue with it. But I still prefer the Meat Loaf version, I think.
Emma:That's fine. You're allowed opinion and you're allowed to be wrong
Sam:there we go. I just, I just don't think women should rock out, Emma. That's it. They should be at home doing the sewing and the ironing.
Emma:And that's why you're part of the problem. You're just one of the patriarchy oppressing me
Sam:Yeah, sorry about the oppression.
Emma:Yeah, so you should be.
Sam:But yeah, this one has a very 80s sound to it, and I do like that. I like both versions.
Emma:The two versions have two very different sets of lyrics as well. The basic tune is still the same and the chorus is still the same. But I did a compare and contrast of the lyrics because of course I did. The first verse of the Meat Loaf version is"It's getting cold, it's getting dark, the nights are longer every day. The air is heavy and the clouds will never burn away. We've been waiting here so long that we've forgotten what it's like to turn into the fire, looking straight into the, straight into the light" That's my dramatic reading there
Sam:That's good, that's good.
Emma:This is moody. So the Fire Inc version, the
Sam:Hold on, hold on. Now this time I really want you to deliver this with all the power that an A level in drama can give you. Okay?
Emma:Okay, hang on. Okay.
Sam:imagine that Bertolt Brecht play that you did.
Emma:Caucasian Chalk Circle. Lying in your bed and on a Saturday night, you're sweating buckets and it's not even hot. But your brain has got the message and it's sending it out to every nerve and every muscle you've got".. It's just a different vibe, isn't it?
Sam:One is a song about being sexy and young, which used to be Meat Loaf's wheelhouse, and now Meat Loaf's in the realm of. Fucking hell, everything's miserable and Jim Steinman's just sued me and I've run out of money again, and oh god. I'm gonna have to go on another tour of minor stadiums of Europe.
Emma:Whereas the Fire Inc version is like, I'm a sexy woman being sexy on a hot Saturday night. Which is the version that I prefer because I am a sexy woman being sexy on a Saturday night. I'm definitely not a woman in her early 40s watching crap television in her pyjamas on a Saturday night. did get a couple of comments from the YouTubes.
Sam:hit me.
Emma:So, Celio Vicente Belero Filho 9740, which is a very catchy name. He said, or they said,"This song has an energy and arouses emotions that make me feel like I'm travelling in an F 14 at full speed to somewhere far away from where I need to be somewhere lost on the horizon" which is hilarious in itself but then, Duff Beer Second, replies"That's the most 80s comment ever made."
Sam:Why's the F 14 going away from where he needs to be?
Emma:I'd be really stressed out if the plane that I was on was going the wrong way.
Sam:how do you know? How do you know any plane you've ever got on has gone the right way?, that time you thought you were in Florida, you might have been in Kent.
Emma:I think I would know the difference between Florida and Kent by now.
Sam:Have you ever been to Kent
Emma:I been to Kent? Bam. There we go. We're an official Florida and Kent are the same place conspiracy podcast now. Are we? You, you might be. I'm here to
Sam:I'm changing the genre settings.
Emma:So let me tell you about chemtrails.
Sam:Why do you think nobody's listening to Meat Loaf anymore? Well,
Emma:It's what they're putting in the water. It's the fluoride. It controls your brain.
Sam:look at this. Commercial flight since 1979 tracked against Meat Loaf sales.
Emma:Oh God, this got weird quick.
Sam:Yeah, it did. Let's get back on to the song. Any other YouTube comments?
Emma:No, those are the best ones that I could find. I mean, there are hundreds of comments. I'm not going to sit and read all of them because I do have other things to do. Contrary to popular belief.
Sam:You know, I read all of them when I do this.
Emma:What? Hundreds and hundreds of them.
Sam:go through the whole page. I
Emma:that's because you, that's because you haven't got anything better to do.
Sam:Yeah. All right. Thanks. Okay. I think it's time to rate our song then so we are once again using the Jim Steinman scale. So that goes from Jim Steinman to Jim Fineman to Jim Declineman
Emma:just want to ask, am I allowed to rate both versions because they're technically two very different songs?
Sam:It's nice of you to ask this time around, because when we recorded this bit the first time you just barged on in and upset my spreadsheet. Emma, yes, yes you can, rate both versions separately. It sounds like you like the Fire Inc more.
Emma:Fire Inc. for me is a classic Jim Steinman. Meat Loaf one is a Jim Fineman.
Sam:Okay. For my part, I enjoy Fire Inc, I enjoy Meat Loaf, but Neither of them really are at the height of Jim Steinman's output and we do have a three point scale to work with we can't give Jim Steinman all The time so i'm gonna say Jim Fineman
Emma:So I think that averages out as a Jim Fineman this time.
Sam:Averages out as a Jim Fineman with some Jim Steinman elements
Emma:excellent.
Sam:So there we are. That was another Chat out of Hell. Emma, did you enjoy that? You know, that whole podcast that we've just recorded in one long run.
Emma:it was absolutely seamless.
Sam:Hopefully listeners you enjoyed that as well. If you did, drop us an email, chatoutofhellatgmail. com tell us what you thought about our songs this episode. Did we get the ratings right? Are we complete idiots? Email it in. Do keep your names coming in for our cheeky bat mascot in order to win a badge of it. And by names, I mean, somebody submit a name so that Emma can give away that badge. Next time. So we are coming up to the end of the first series of this podcast. We're going to do six episodes then we're going to take a little break so that we don't go insane listening to Meat Loaf over and over and over. Next time will be the last episode of this series, so Emma, what song are you gonna bring?
Emma:I'm gonna bring I'd Lie For You And That's The Truth from the Welcome To The Neighbourhood album.
Sam:Which, rarely for songs from that album, is actually quite good, and has a fucking ludicrously brilliant music video. So, check that one out listeners. And I'm gonna bookend this first series, so we opened the series with the very first song off the very first album that Meat Loaf and Jim did together. We're going to close it with the very last song off their very last album. That is an album called Braver than We Are from 2016. And the song is called Train of Love, which I've not listened to yet. So who knows if that's going to be any good, but tune in next time and we'll all find out together. And as always keep your general Meat Loaf thoughts and anecdotes flying in any Meat Loaf memories.
Emma:Memories.
Sam:Did Meat Loaf get in your way waving a massive union flag at the Last Night of the Proms? Write in, let us know, chat out of hell at gmail. com. Any final thoughts, Emma?
Emma:None at all. Zero thoughts,
Sam:Zero thoughts. All of our thoughts have now come out onto digital form here on a podcast. So thank you all very much for listening, and we'll see you all again in two more weeks time for the final episode of this first series. Bye, everybody! Bye! Bye