Beachside Banter w/Bee

Embracing Magic and Community: A Journey with Kirsten Rudberg

• Bee • Season 1 • Episode 15

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Can you imagine growing up amidst the vibrant cultures of Guyana and Pakistan, only to channel those experiences into groundbreaking art and storytelling? Join us on this episode of Beachside Banter with Bee as Kirsten Rudberg shares her inspiring journey from a third culture kid to a panentheist artist and podcaster. Kirsten recounts the profound influence of hearing the Islamic call to prayer and how her multicultural upbringing shaped her inclusive worldview, which she now brings to life through her podcast, Bite-Sized Blessings.

Ever wondered how a childhood spent in different countries can mold you into a creative chameleon? Kirsten and I explore the unique challenges and joys of being a third culture kid (TCK), and how this identity creates a remarkable adaptability. We share personal anecdotes from our seminary days, illustrate the feelings of loneliness in monocultural settings, and discuss the restless spirit that drives us to constantly seek new adventures. Kirsten's global perspective also finds expression in her creative projects, from darker reimagining's of Peter Rabbit tales to an animated YouTube series tackling social justice issues.

What drives a creative soul to address global challenges through art? This episode delves into Kirsten's commitment to social awareness, her belief in fate and miracles, and the serendipitous moments that affirm her purpose. We discuss the intersection of personal belief, creativity, and social advocacy, highlighting projects inspired by real-world issues like poverty, prejudice, and environmental destruction. Join us as we celebrate the magic woven into Kirsten's work and the resilient spirit that keeps her creating, despite life's many challenges.

About My Guest:
Kirsten Rudberg is an MDIV graduate, panentheist, and a multi-talented creative force. As an author, her books were recently acquired by George R.R. Martin's bookstore in Santa Fe. She's also a screenwriter, producer, and podcaster, using her voice to inspire and uplift humanity. Kirsten's passion lies in defending our shared environments, encouraging others to be better stewards of the world through her diverse body of work. With a deep belief in the potential of humanity, she uses her words and creativity to advocate for positive change.

You can find Kirsten here:
Facebook | IG | Tik Tok | YouTube 

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Speaker 1:

Hey, hey, hey everyone, it's another episode of Beachside Banter with Bea. I'm here today with Kristen Rudberg Hopefully I said that right. I'm real bad at pronouncing names. Everybody knows that we're here to talk about all sorts of things. Kristen has had an amazing journey and I am so excited that I'm able to actually pick her brain and we can kind of share some of that along with you all. So, kristen, go ahead, take it away, introduce yourself, let everybody know what you're doing and we'll go from there and that's totally fine.

Speaker 2:

So sorry, no, I'm real bad at names. Yeah, I feel like when my parents named me, that they set everyone up in the world for failure because there is kirsten, kirsten, kristin, christine, christy I mean, you name it. It's like the options are out there, so it's it's my fault.

Speaker 1:

Just let you know, okay, so um kirsten's y'all and we're real excited to have her here.

Speaker 2:

Yes, thank you so much for having me. I've been looking forward to this conversation for a long time, and so just a little bit about me. I went to seminary. I have my Master's of Divinity. I went to Methodist Seminary, but I am a religious, or I would say I'm a panentheist, which means that I believe that everything is sacred, everything has consciousness, everything is alive around me and that everything deserves respect and consideration when we're making big decisions in this world. I'm an artist. I have my own podcast, bite-sized Blessings. Yes, it's the start of the pandemic. I have just published my third book. I'm rewriting the Peter Rabbit book series, but it's more aggressive and dark. It's darker than the original. It deals with things that are going on in this world that I feel that are social justice issues. I have an animated series on YouTube about two crows who sit on a line and observe humanity, humanity, and they comment on them. I have written scripts, I have screenplays. I mean I have a lot, a lot going on.

Speaker 1:

Yes, yes, yes, I told you all it's fantastic journey she's gone on so far and, yeah, it's amazing. Okay, so how did, like, your Islamic call to prayer, how did that kind of like you know, that experience impact your sense of embracing, belonging and all of that sort of thing? Let's kind of start there at the top, because I know you have a little bit of a different perspective on that. Some people would. So I'd love to kind of dive into that first.

Speaker 2:

Oh, yeah, absolutely so. I grew up overseas. First few years were in Guyana, south America, and then I was in Lahore, pakistan, for four years. And as a kid, you know, you kind of just think this is what normal life is that you get to play with kids from all over the world, that you get you who cares about what you wear, what religion you are, what color your skin is. Nobody cared about that. We just wanted to go out, have fun, play soccer, you know.

Speaker 2:

And I was in an islamic country and, um, honestly, you know you, the day you were awoken with the islamic call to prayer, and so it's like this, singing out over the land and talk about being I don't know it's, it's a better alarm clock than what I've got on my iPhone right now. And so incredible beauty, incredible beauty as a kid, not only to go to a school that was kind of welcoming and all encompassing, but to grow up in such a rich country with the architecture, with the food, you know. And also, you know, my parents took me to the Taj Mahal, we went to Kashmir, we went to Bangladesh, we went to all these different places. So I spent a lot of my childhood just traveling all over the world, and not only that, but to countries that people normally don't go to. So this is like what my vision of what life was like. I thought, oh, oh, this is cool, I can hang with this. And then we go back to the States no-transcript, what do you look like?

Speaker 2:

Everything was just picked apart and it broke my heart. And when I went to seminary I realized that that was the first big experience that broke my child's heart to go from this expansive existence to being locked down and judged for everything that I did. And so you know, I did not manage it. Well, I could not adjust, it was just really difficult. So I did do fourth grade again. I did fourth grade twice. I couldn't process what was going on. It was really, really challenging for me. I was overwhelmed. Frankly, as a child, I was just overwhelmed.

Speaker 2:

But you know, I can never, never, never thank my parents enough for that childhood of growing up overseas, because it has changed everything about my life and it is part of the reason I love to meet everyone. It's part of the reason I believe in everyone until I learn otherwise. It's part of the reason I do my podcast. I learn otherwise. It's part of the reason I do my podcast.

Speaker 2:

I want to get to know people, bring them together and you know, as I am a panentheist, I kind of have an open view of the world and I feel like I'm pretty accepting my podcast is a platform for everyone under the sun. You know, I've had LGBTQ clergy, I have had a religious people, I've had atheists, I've had religious people. It's this platform for everyone to come on, share a story and for my listeners to get to know people they might not meet in their normal way of life, and so then they can. Maybe, maybe it will encourage empathy or commiseration or connection and maybe they they'll feel less threatened by this person, whoever they are, wherever they are in the world, and maybe they'll feel less threatened by this person, whoever they are, wherever they are in the world. And so that is, I think, going to be my life's work is encouraging people to get to know the stranger, welcome them in and understand that really, at our hearts, we're all the same.

Speaker 1:

That's amazing. So you and I had the exact opposite childhood. So I grew up in Missouri, which is basically the same thing as what you described. In Illinois, I was in a small, your basic I don't want to say hillbilly culture, but that's kind of what it was. You know so, but kind of being able to step outside of the box and and going out and exploring some just little bitty tiny pieces of the world has kind of been what has opened my eyes up and to realize that there are so many things and so many people out there and so many different cultures and ways of life, and all of that is kind of what has brought this whole sector together, the reason why I'm you know my passion behind beach, you know whatever life love, travel, you know all that stuff.

Speaker 1:

I just I really think that and I love your mindset and the way that you're thinking about it, how everybody has importance. Every single piece fits together like this beautiful puzzle. I feel like that's it's a really great way of looking at it and I think it's amazing that like we kind of both came together with the same mindset as adults, even though we had exact opposite childhood. So that's really cool. I like to hear that what's one of the most common misconceptions that people have about third culture kids and like how would you address that? I know it's mad.

Speaker 2:

No, no, I was just thinking to myself. You know, I didn't know I was a third culture kid till I read seminary and one of my professors said Do you know, you're a third culture kid. And I was like what, what is that? So then we can, I get that. Honestly, I have spent and this is a very common, I know. I know you asked about other people, but I think it's really common for third culture kids to feel like they can go into any sort of milieu and and fit and mix in, because they've learned to adjust and adapt and pivot, because they've been moved from place to place to place, right. The other thing. So, like as far as what other people and I could be, you know, again, I'm a sensitive person. I could be overthinking this, but my perception when I was a child was that people thought I was weird and I think that's, that is what. That is a common thing, because when you're a kid and you see so much of the world and then you come into places that are kind of monocultural, it shaped me and changed me in ways where I just behaved differently than everyone else and also viewed the world differently. So I didn't fit in and that's fine, right, a lot of kids don't fit in and there are worse things happening in this world, but as a kid it's really attenuated and you kind of understand very deeply. Oh, my goodness, you know, I don't fit in and there's something that's not. I'm like there's a square hole there and I'm a triangle and I don't know what's happening. Right, I get that, yeah, and I don't know how to make it fit. It's hard and it's challenging and it makes you feel really lonely.

Speaker 2:

As a kid, I mean, I can tell you a funny story about going into seminary. I love funny stories, yeah. So when I went into seminary, the head of kind of every single student coming in had to take an 800, you know, question all these personality tests to see if we were in the right program. And so the guy, the gentleman who was a pastor but he was also a psychoanalyst, he ran this thing. He came back to me and he said OK, first you're an artist, which I had no idea that I was an artist, but it kind of gave me permission to do everything I'm doing now. And then second is science and technology, which makes sense because I read science magazines since I was a kid. But then he said you have to know you're in the wrong program. And I said no, I mean I argued with him and I said I feel called to get a Master's of Divinity.

Speaker 2:

But then he said I need to tell you something really strange. He said look at this graph. And it was four quadrants, this square split up into four quadrants, and each quadrant represented personality thing. And he said I've never, never, ever, in all the years that I've done this, had this result. It is the strangest, most bizarre thing I've ever seen.

Speaker 2:

He said normally I just watch the quadrant quadrant and there's this little ball that goes around as all the answers are being tabulated and it usually stays in one and maybe moves to another. He said yours just went around and around and around and then it settled in the circle in the center. And he said I never had an answer like that from this machine. And he said you either have no idea who you are or you can be whoever you want at any moment in time. And I thought, my God, I'm older now. I hope I know who I am, sort of. But I mean that's what growing up as a third culture kid did for me. It absolutely made me into a chameleon, so that I could fit whatever situation that came along Totally well-rounded.

Speaker 1:

Absolutely. That's awesome, though I feel like that's a really cool story and it's shaped you into this cool human being, so I love that. That's awesome. So I'm guessing your traveling has kind of brought you back to where you are now. How has that sort of influenced who you are as an adult?

Speaker 2:

Oh, my goodness, I drive my family crazy. Okay, so I graduated from college, went to University of Illinois, champaign-urbana, worked for a corporation for a couple of years and was like, went to this celebration at the corporation of people who had been there 5, 10, 15, 20, got sick to my stomach and I was like I got to get out of here because this cannot be my life. So I sold most of everything I owned and a dear friend had moved to up near south north of Seattle and she's like come live here and I'd never been there. So I went to Bellingham, Washington, lived there for a couple of years. It got too small, moved to Portland, lived in Portland 23 years, but every three years I had to go somewhere else. So one summer I went back to Chicago and spent six months there working downtown.

Speaker 2:

A few years after that I went to the Oregon coast and lived at the beach.

Speaker 2:

A few years after that I went to Florida and spent, I would say, two or three months being with my dear friend Linda, who was going through Parkinson's surgery.

Speaker 2:

A few years after that I went and I walked the Camino de Santiago, and so wherever I am, after a few years I get restless and I'm like I got to go, I got to go, I got to go, I've got to go, and if I don't go I get cranky. Yep, I only laugh because I'm the same way, oh yeah, and then I get a little like bitchy about where I'm living and I don't appreciate it and all this stuff, yep, and so and so this, this kind of peripatetic lifestyle that I had as a child, really has has infiltrated me, you could say, and I want to see the world, but mostly I want to meet the people who are in it. I want to meet them, I want to have an encounter with the other, but I also want to see the world and revel in its beauty, and I'm not going to be able to do that if I'm staying in the same place. So, yes, I absolutely, I'm a nomad, a little bit.

Speaker 1:

I love it. I love it. So is that the nomad lifestyle, like that's something that is like an ultimate goal for me? We're, we're finally at that stage where you know we're empty nesters and we're repositioning ourselves towards Atlanta so that way we can fly in and out easily because I'm a I'm a Delta girl all the way through and through. So I know that sounds bad. People are like you're moving just so that you could be by an airport. No, it's a hub, man, come on, it's a hub. It makes things so much easier. It knocks out that whole you know middle wing that I have to go through every single time I fly. So bringing that back, like I feel like having I don't even know, just like having that nomad lifestyle, would be hard, though right, because you don't really have like a home. Is it one of those things that once you've done it for a while, it's easy, but getting into that lifestyle is it difficult?

Speaker 2:

Well, let me tell you. So I went to seminary and had a partner in Santa Fe for about seven years and then we split up after the pandemic and, between the time that I'd lived in Santa Fe, moved in with him and came back, the rents had doubled and I could no longer afford to live in Santa Fe. But my entire life was in Santa Fe all my friends, my dear friends, and so I basically house sat for a year and a half. I just knew everyone under the sun. I got house sitting gigs. I was absolutely just out there house sitting, and that lifestyle is hard. I was basically living out of my car in two suitcases. All of my stuff is in storage. My entire life is in storage. It has been a challenging, sad, heartbreaking, I don't know time of clarifying my spirit, let's say. And then last year I went in October and moved. I was supposed to move for two or three months to help take care of my mother. Dad and mom were having health issues and then, two weeks after I got home, my stepfather died unexpectedly. Then my mother's got long COVID, and so it turned into a six-month stint of caregiving for my mother, yeah, and taking care of her. So Better now. She is better now. Yes, oh good, she'll get you. Get me out of the house. She's like you can go, she's like I'm done. I go Because you know Santa Fe is out of my. I can't afford it anymore. Hollywood's moving to Santa Fe, so nobody can afford anything anymore. So I went to the Oregon coast. I had a dear friend who was there. She said I need house sitting for five weeks. Come here and work for three months. So I just did that and then I have some opportunities in Santa Fe. So now I'm back in Santa Fe right now, house-sitting again.

Speaker 2:

It is difficult, it is exhausting, it is heartbreaking. Sometimes it is stressful because you have to move and shake and try to figure things out. Thankfully, I have a lot of connections. I know a lot of people. A lot of people are like you can sleep on my couch or what have you. And, by the way, this isn't what I envisioned for myself when I thought, you know, when I was 25 or whatever, right where I thought I was going to be. But something about it feels right for this time of my life and I don't know what that is. I think that it is encouraging adaptability, the ability to be to go with the flow. It's learning, it's teaching me about going with the flow, believing that this universe wants to take care of me and has my back, and it's really teaching me to to have faith faith that I'll be OK, and it's a necessary lesson that I've needed. It's a necessary lesson that I've needed.

Speaker 1:

So I'll be honest with you, that is the first time that somebody I feel like has actually been truthful. When they've answered that question about the nomad lifestyle, Most people will tell me oh, it's amazing and I love it and it's so easy and blah, and I'm always just like how I don't know. So I think that's the first time that anybody's actually answered that question honestly and was like hey, no, look, it's not as easy as you think it is. You're romanticizing it, but it's not as beautiful as you think it is. Okay.

Speaker 2:

Absolutely. Yeah, yes, and I think you know it's also teaching me that I can be okay with less. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. I was invited to a wedding this weekend and all of my clothes are in storage, or in Illinois with my mom, and I'm like, what am I going to wear? So I already messaged the bride and said, hey, like I might. I don't know what I'm wearing. We'll see what happens with that. I'm sure I'll pull something together last minute. It'll be awesome and you know what I'm at an age I mean. Okay, first of all, I have to tell you you look like you're 25 or 30. Oh my God, thank you so much.

Speaker 1:

Yes, oh my gosh, I appreciate that, even with my bags underneath my eyes today, they're packing more. They're packing bags. Yeah, I appreciate that.

Speaker 2:

I've reached an age where I'm like I don't really care what people think of me or you know, like how I show up, Like I'm there, I'm there and I'm doing the best that I can.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, and everyone's just going to have to understand. So you're definitely over 40, because that's what happens the second you turn 40.

Speaker 1:

I'm 53. Absolutely, oh, my goodness See, I would have never have guessed that I was thinking you were only maybe a couple years older than me, if at all. So Look at that, we're high-fiving, that's right. Fancy pantsing over here, I love that. So how does your background as this third culture kid I hate referring to you as that, because to me I feel like you're just more experienced than the rest of us is, and I love that. You've got more knowledge, more you know all of that but how does that kind of influence the work and stuff that you're doing, like your writing and your animation and all of that? So, but how does that kind of influence the work and stuff that you're doing, like your writing and your animation and all of?

Speaker 2:

that Okay. So you have to know that there's just something in my spirit that is super all about the world and what's happening in it, and you know I want to. I hate this because becoming woke has become this kind of disgusting term, but for me it means being aware of what's happening in the world and understanding it with compassion and intelligence. You know, just being able to be grounded enough to witness, because sometimes the things that we witness in this world will break our hearts. But having the strength and bravery to be able to witness and then talk about it, that's what being woke means to me, and so I really my work is all about because, look, when you grew up in a third world country and you see the level of poverty and suffering that the majority of people in Pakistan are dealing with, the majority of prejudice and hatred, as a child, that marks you forever and you better believe that when you get back to the States in a more privileged country, those images and those experiences haunt you and they make you, at least for me, forever wanting to bring people together, bring more people to the table and solve issues. So, for example, I've gotten to the age, as we discussed, where I'm like getting progressively more done with nonsense. And I'm like let's stop being done with this nonsense, because the first episode of my animated series you know every episode is two minutes long, maybe a little over two minutes. My first episode was written in response to George Floyd because I was like I can't take this anymore. I was so angry and so filled with disappointment and rage for just the callousness that that happened that day, the, the complete disregard for humanity.

Speaker 2:

And then my peter rabbit series. It's as I said, it's darker. First one is called a tale of two rabbits. It's a rewrite of peter rabbit. It's all about from peter's point of view. The woods are being destroyed by mcgregor to make um room for condos and more farmland, and so where do those animals go? And and let me, the cover has a skin rabbit on the front, because I want people to understand that this is not, we're not joking about this anymore. This is what's actually going on in the world right now. This is the issues we're facing Exactly. The second one is called the Nuts Guts and it's a rewrite of Squirrel Nutkin. So Nutkin's going to be trickster in the series. There's a little more levity in this one.

Speaker 2:

The third one just got released. It's called Boom Chicka Meow Meow and it's about a cat who runs a sweatshop and it's a rewrite of a tailor of Gloucester and it's the mice are the ones that are making all the clothes for the humans in town. It's my comment on consumerism about. There's never enough that mouse bodies are disposable, just like human bodies working in all these factories. And it's going to be a 13-book series. It's going to get a little sci-fi-y at the end.

Speaker 2:

The theme is the eternal return, nietzsche's eternal return. Why do we keep making the same mistakes over and over? But they're confrontational and they're meant to be. I hire all female illustrators and I design the books as well. I'm really proud of them. But, as I said, they're dark and they're not for everybody, but they're sort of the same size. They're smaller, you know, maybe 40 pages, but they pack a wallop and you know so.

Speaker 2:

And then my script, poncho in the Car with Noodles, for example. It's about a biracial man that opens a restaurant in Chinatown because he cannot afford to rent and open his own Mexican restaurant anywhere else, and it's a 14 episode series. Each episode is 10 minutes long and it's about how cultures they either push up against each other, embrace each other and I mean it sounds tough but it's a comedy at its heart and it's about how our ancestors and our ancestry haunts us as well, and so my work from growing up overseas and being a third culture kid. It's all about, well and the podcast bringing people in, having these difficult conversations or illuminating conversations and helping them hopefully to open their eyes to being able to witness, you know, what's going on in this world.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, so real quick. You said that they're not really for everyone and I kind of I don't know, like I feel like they should be for everyone, and I kind of I don't know like I feel like they should be for everyone, like maybe if every single person sat down and just like took 10 minutes out of their time and and read it from a different perspective. You're that because that's what you're doing. You're you're bringing these real world issues to light and you're showing people, look, this is what's really going on, but you're doing it in like a not necessarily cutesy way, but a way that is understandable to everybody, I feel like. So I think that it would be good if everybody could just take a couple minutes and just kind of see the underlining message that's going on in all your animations, and then maybe they could actually be like oh hey, wake up. You know I get what you're saying.

Speaker 1:

The whole woke thing is kind of ugly or whatever they make it out to be, that it's ugly, but the reality of it is, if more people actually woke up to what was going on and we all kind of put a little bit more effort into it, things could be a lot different and there wouldn't be so many issues in the world that we're facing right now. But you know that's a whole other conversation for a whole nother day. Who knows if we'll ever get to that point, but fingers crossed we do. Yeah, wow. So how do you stay inspired and motivated to keep working on all these projects? I feel like you're putting a lot of heart and soul and passion into it, so it's got to be draining right.

Speaker 2:

Well, yes, frankly. But you have to know that my muse that's what I call them or muses are incredible nags and so I don't have a choice. My experience with these ideas or whatever, is that something literally like a monkey comes on my back and, for example, when I was riding Poncho in the car, nobody will come to his restaurant, so he has to sell used cars on the side. So that's where that title comes in. So, basically, you know, for example, I would get up one morning and you know, make coffee, have some coffee and be sitting on the couch and all of a sudden this thought would be like, ok, it's time to write Poncho another episode. And I'd be like, okay, it's time to write poncho another episode. And I'd be like, no, I don't, I'm pretty happy being a slug. And it's like, no, it's time. And I mean the pressure would build and build, okay. And then I get that down and like maybe two and a half episodes come out in an hour and they're like fully formed, don't need really much editing.

Speaker 2:

But I really my process is to let my unconscious do the work.

Speaker 2:

So, for example, I'm I'm doing a comic book right now and you know I need to flesh out the world and do some more world building.

Speaker 2:

And so what I do is I say, all right, I need, I need some ideas to make this world more diverse, to make it more complicated, to make it more beautiful. And then I let it go, I drop it, because I know my brain and whatever it is is working on it in the background and I go about my life. But then there will come a moment where it's like all right, it's done, we need to download this now, like get it down. And so, whether it's on a hike with a dog or it's doing something else, I grab my phone, I put the idea in and then I know I can go back to it later. So you know, I wish that I was actually disciplined. I'm not. It's just one of these things where the muse comes in and says stop being a jerk, sit down and get this, this out, and I'm like I get really grumpy and I complain a lot and they're like this one's a stinker over here, but at least she gets it done.

Speaker 1:

I'm laughing because I'm the exact same way, like there's times where I'm just like, oh, I just don't care, I don't have the energy, I don't have the brain capacity, you know all of that and I just I just want to sit on the couch. But then in the back of my mind, I'm like you need to find people for your podcast, or you need to do social media, or you need to do this or you need to do that, and it's I feel like I'm letting people down if I'm not doing it. Even though I might not have a lot of followers, it just feels like you know, like I'm not giving my all. So that's usually the motivation behind it. I'm like, ok, fine, get up, do what you need to get done, because then it's just like it keeps nagging and nagging and nagging. I'm like, ah, I just don't want to think about it anymore. So I get it done, it'll be done about it, we're good. So yeah, I totally relate to that.

Speaker 1:

So let's talk about your podcast. I'm super excited about this. Bite-sized Blessings is what it's called. What all do you talk about on that? I know you talk about real world issues and that sort of thing. Tell us about that.

Speaker 2:

Oh gosh, we don't talk about real world issues. Oh, just kidding, just kidding, we don't talk about that. Well, it came out of the pandemic when everybody was so isolated and I avoid real world issues like the plague, because I feel totally in my life anyway and the podcast meant to like, it's meant to remind people and ground them in the idea that this world is a beautiful place, it's intentional and that it only has our best interests at heart. And so basically emerged out of the pandemic. Everyone was feeling lonely and depressed and I thought, you know, people normally come to me and tell me these bizarre stories and they're like, can you explain this to me? And I'm like, of course not. But I thought I love those stories and so I put a call out to my cohort from seminary and I said hey, you guys, would any of you want to come on my podcast and tell a story about something magical, mysterious or miraculous that happened in your life that you can't explain? And so you know, I have either the long form interview, where you can hear the whole interview, or the little bite sized which is just the incident, the magical or miraculous incident and bite sized blessings. It's B-Y--t-e, it's an homage to my love of science because I kind of like every episode is a unit of information, like a bite um, and I have stories of, I mean you, you look, it's also an incredibly selfish endeavor. I'm just going to put that out there because I need these stories. I need to hear how other people create meaning, these encounters they have with things that are bonkers and make no sense. You know, I've had stories of people someone who died three times and what happened on the other side, oh, my goodness. A group of kids who got lost in the woods from youth group and the woman who's a pastor, now a Methodist pastor. They were 14. She saw this vision when they were praying at this juncture of all these trails and it said, pointed and led to the trail and they'd actually crossed state lines and were like 13 miles away from where they were supposed to be, but they found them. Someone came along this really remote road and they said you know, I normally don't drive this road, but today it was like I've got to drive this road, pick them up and took them back. I've had stories of you know, my God, one of my most powerful was Miss Drag, new Mexico. I think it was 2022.

Speaker 2:

Tomahawk Martini, who describes herself as a native taco because she's Hispanic and indigenous, and Tomahawk Martini, who describes herself as a native taco because she's Hispanic and indigenous. And Tomahawk's story. When Tomahawk was a kid, her grandparents Tomahawk's grandfather was a medicine man for their people and their grandmother helped the grandfather and one day they stopped by late one night and were talking to Tomahawk's father. Tomahawk was about seven or eight at this time didn't really understand what was going on. Also, tomahawk had been having some dreams about dying around that time and a week later, both of Tomahawk's well, the grandparents did a ceremony with Tomahawk's dad and then they left, gave a big hug to Tomahawk, and then they left, gave a big hug to Tomahawk, and then they left, and a week later, both of them were killed in a car crash on a remote road and basically, tomahawk's father said that the grandmother had seen that Tomahawk was going to die and so came over to do a ceremony to take on Tomahawk's death, knowing that they would die. They didn't know when, but they did that. They bartered and made that decision and then a week later they were killed and so Tomahawk was spared.

Speaker 2:

So I have had I mean, you want to talk about stories that give you goosebumps. Yes, that one just did, by the way. Yes, they are incredibly potent and powerful reminders that there is a lot more going on on this thing, in this thing that we call reality, and that there are things behind the scenes. We call them supernormal events, supernatural, I mean, but I think someday in science we will get far enough to where we understand. No, it's just a natural process and it's part and parcel of what's going on. We just don't have the language yet, but it indicates to me that there are forces, or energies, or what have you, that are sentient and that have our backs and are all urging us to be our best selves and to help each other.

Speaker 1:

Wow, that's crazy, that's super deep. But yeah, I've always been one of those people that have kind of, you know, have had my faith in like fate. You know, like, everything happens for a reason. We're on this like path that we're supposed to take in life. We may deviate from it here and there just because we make the wrong decision, but we always end up back on that path and that's kind of the way things are going to go.

Speaker 1:

So I will be honest, that's how I make a lot of my decisions. A lot of times I'm just like throw it out there, see what happens. And you know, like, with this cat, my most recent cat that I just adopted, I literally saw a picture of him and was like, oh my God, he's the cutest little thing, I don't really need another cat, we'll see how it goes. Filled out the application, I probably won't get accepted no big deal. Two days later they called me and they're like hey, and I'm like, oh well, I guess he was meant to be a part of my family then you know.

Speaker 1:

So I've always been very much reliant on that sort of thing and there has to be, you know, like another, I don't know another plane or whatever it is, but there's people out there that are taking care of us. They're making sure that we stay on that path, that we're making the right decisions, and all of that. I don't really know if that's like a religious type of thought process or what that is, but I definitely believe that there is, you know, faith, fate, and we're here for a reason. We're here to met, we're meant to do certain things in our lives and there's things that will take us to that path. Just takes us some of us a little bit longer to get on it than than we're supposed to.

Speaker 2:

So, yeah, absolutely yeah, yeah, yes, yes, yes, yes To all that.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I don't know it's. I don't know if that's necessarily the right way to look at things and I I don't know, but that's just how I've always my husband gets gets a little frustrated. Sometimes he's like, oh, here we go, let's see what faith has in store for us today. I'm like, yeah, you know just what happens, happens. Uh, so how do you integrate that like your belief in magic and miracles and all that stuff? Like how do you keep that separated from, like your animations and real world issues? Because I feel like that's two completely opposite sides of the spectrum, like you know, one where you're diving in real deep and kind of getting you know personal and that sort of thing, and then the other one where you're kind of like exploring a different realm, so to speak.

Speaker 2:

How do you keep that? Yeah, that's actually a really interesting question. Thank you, that's actually a really interesting question. Thank you, that's actually a really interesting question, because they're not separate, okay, so I kind of walk through my day or walk through my life with the understanding that you know. So, I mean, I always imagine a fish in water. Right, the fish does not know that the fish is in water. It's its environment. Okay, yeah, that makes sense. Is in water, it's its environment. Okay, yeah, that makes sense.

Speaker 2:

And so for me, I am walking through this kind of energy or this world. You could call them waves, you could call them just you know, star Wars fans call them midichlorians or whatever. Okay, where is this? This? It is all around me, it is inside me, it is ever present and it's everywhere. And I am just walking through it. You know, scientists could call it the Higgs field, like who knows at this point, but it is always there and it's ever present. And so my creative works are part and parcel. That is what is emerging out of my collaboration with this field. That is all around me.

Speaker 1:

Okay, that makes sense.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, and so you know whether someone is a scientist, you know, let's say, chemistry professor or something, that is how that person is using their connection with that field. That's what's emerging out of them. And so every single person is having a different experience or a different, let's say, collaboration or connection with what is all around and kind of. You know, I don't know, I call it shimmering in the background. You know, we're all walking through this shimmering and the shimmering kind of comes out in all sorts of different ways, as is evidenced by you, by my dear friends, by the kitten that you adopted or the cat that you know, all coming out in these different ways. And for me it just has come out in a way where I'm a nomad, I look at it as co-creation, like I am co-creating with whatever this is. And so, whatever you know, that nag or that muse is actually the shimmering saying hey, here's this project, here's this thing we need out, because it's a message. This podcast, because let me tell you, let me tell you something about the podcast. Ok, this is, this is actually really fascinating, and I practiced it over and over again, not practice, but let's say tested it, because I'm kind of a jerk, as you know, putting a podcast out is exhausting and it's a lot of so hard. It's so hard and so sometimes I release two a week. No, this is in the midst of not having a home taking care of my mother, which is a whole other level of caregiving. It's been utterly exhausting. But every time I say out loud to the universe because usually I'm kvetching out loud I, you know, I'm like I'm going to quit, I can't do this anymore, I'm exhausted. I don't know why I'm doing this. Someone within 24 hours, whether it's a stranger or a friend, will message me and say that podcast changed my life. That podcast was so powerful.

Speaker 2:

So one day I was feeling especially jerky and I was feeling especially sorry for myself. So I was driving to work this is a couple of years ago and I was just angry because I was exhausted with the podcast and everything else that was going on. And I'm driving and I'm grumping and I'm like I'm giving, I'm. I'm sure people in other cars were like what's going on? And I was like I'm going to give up. I'm like done, I can't. This is stupid. I can't believe you want me to do this. Like, what is the point? Where is this going. You guys are jerks. I don't know who you are, but you're jerks and I eat everything about this. But guess what? Guess what Jerks? Um, I bet because you think you're so funny that within 24 hours someone's going to message me and say I love your podcast and it's the best. All right, all right, I bet that's going to happen because you all think you're so funny and whatever. And apparently I'm not supposed to give this up for some reason. Go on, go to work. I'm at work.

Speaker 2:

Four hours later, a dear friend in Chicago texted me and said oh my God, this episode this week. I can't even tell you how it changed my life. It was so beautiful. I needed that message this week. It's so timely, it's so perfect. And I just started laughing and I was like who's the jerk? Now it's me. I'm a jerk. I know I'm a jerk, but yes, all right, message noted universe. Okay, I'll stop complaining, but of course I haven't stopped complaining. I feel like, yeah, everyone's throwing, just kind of getting it out yep, no, I'm the exact same way.

Speaker 1:

It, um, and it is. It is so exhausting, uh. So right now we're in the process of moving, so and everybody knows what comes along with that like you know, you got to get your house ready, you got to make sure it's pretty, you got to make sure it's clean, you got to show it to all these people and let them all come in and judge your house and how you live, and all of that. And then, on top of that, you also have to find the perfect house somewhere else. So it's exhausting.

Speaker 1:

And then we're doing the podcast and then we've got like I'm not going to lie to you Life, love and travel has kind of been on the back burner and it sucks and I feel terrible about it. But sometimes you just like you can only give so much. Right, like your cup has to be full in order for you to be able to fill others and mine has just been empty, just totally empty. So I totally get what you're saying. Yeah, so there has been times where I'm just like, why am I even doing this? Is anybody even listening?

Speaker 1:

And then I get on my platform and I look at it and people are like, oh, this is so great and you're just like holy cow, like this is actually thing. People actually like you. You know, you're like Sally Field, people like me, exactly. Sorry, that would age me a little bit, but yeah, you know what I mean. That's funny, ok. So, wow, this has been a great conversation. I know one thing we didn't talk about at all was beaches, and so I should probably bring that up. What's your favorite beach that you've?

Speaker 2:

been to. Oh my gosh. So my favorite beach that I've been to is in Oregon. Ok, and only so. Part of it is only because when you come out from Portland and you're near Cannon Beach and you're driving south on 101, you go over Niakani Mountain and there's a viewpoint that you can stop at so you can park there, and it's on this mountain. The mountain is like a sheer cliff down to the sea, so the sea's right there, but you could look down on Manzanita and the beach there.

Speaker 2:

And the beach at Manzanita goes on and on and on, and what's spectacular about it is it's really rugged. It has these giant rocks out in the sea, but also or not even rocks, they're like, I don't know mini islands, I guess you'd call them. But not only that. It, um, is green and forested and lush. It's yeah, sounds amazing, absolutely beautiful. Then when you drive down and you get on the beach, you can walk for miles. It just goes on and on and on. And it is so beautiful. And it's a different kind of beauty, right, because it's not about the sun coming down on you at 90 degrees, it's not about getting a tan, it's about how gorgeous the greenery is, because it's right there. There's just this incredible sense of potency and life and aliveness there, because the ocean um just butts up against the wildness of the woods and the forest, and I love that position right there yeah man I.

Speaker 1:

So I've heard a lot of things of oregon coast, but I've always been, um, I'm very much I need sun type person, um. So, like, we've gone to seattle and we were there for a week and a half and I think we got one day where it was kind of sunny, um. So of course, you know, I assume that that whole area up there is kind of the same way, so I've kind of avoided it. Um, but I've heard a lot of really nice things about it and how amazing it is up there. So I definitely need to explore up there one day.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, it's different. It's a different kind of world up there. It's I don't know. I mean, there's a reason a lot of people get seasonal affective disorder. It's cloudy a lot of the time, but inside that cloudiness, inside the fogs that roll off the ocean onto the beach, I have been on Manzanita Beach and a fog that was so thick it was daytime but I was down on the beach. I could not see anybody else, even though people were close. It was like being in this other world. I could hear them, you could hear people walking, but you couldn't see anything. So it's a different kind of magic there on that beach. Yeah, sounds like it. Yeah, absolutely, and it's a different kind of experience. And those towns are really precious and sometimes weird, but also magical.

Speaker 1:

Well, I like weird and magical. That's what makes the world fun. I think true stories true story awesome, uh, okay, well, awesome. So I I usually give everybody a little bit of time to kind of plug their socials, uh, so where can everybody find you?

Speaker 2:

oh gosh, okay, so well, go to my website, bite-sized blessingscom, and that's b-y-t-e again, and you'll find everything about my podcast, my animated series, my books, also a little bit about me, so you can kind of get to know who I am. But you know on, please. I encourage you, reach out on Facebook, which I know. Facebook, it's an old person's. I use it too, that's OK. Yeah, no, kirsten Rudberg. And then on Instagram, the best place to find me is EdisonSucks1. And that's number one, because I have a lifelong grudge against Thomas Edison that I can't quite mean to let go and I will die on that hill forever. I love it. And then you know I have my YouTube channel Bite-Sized Blessings and Murder of Two. You can find a link to my animated series on my website. Yeah, all those places, yeah.

Speaker 1:

Awesome, that's so cool. Yeah, so she's everywhere, y'all. So make sure that you go and do all the followings and all the things. So real quick, kirsten. My final question that I ask everybody what does paradise mean to you? Oh my gosh, everyone getting along.

Speaker 2:

Yes, and inviting everyone to the table and giving them space to feel like they belong, that what they say and what they want to contribute matters, and that you know whether I mean honestly and I mean everything from a tree to an insect, to a human being, to this planet like we're all in this together and we got to figure it out.

Speaker 1:

We have to figure it out yes, cohesiveness, I feel like, would be the, the ultimate paradise that's. That's a beautiful thought for sure, awesome. Well, thank you so much for joining me. I really appreciate you taking the time. This was a great conversation. I had a lot of fun, um, and I will definitely keep in touch and, yeah, uh, we'll talk to you soon. Hooray, I'm so excited. You too, thank you. Hey there, beach lovers, that's it for today's episode of Beachside Banter with Bea. I sure hope you had as much fun as I did. Hey, don't forget to subscribe and leave a review if you enjoyed the show. You can catch me on all social media platforms, at Life, love and Travel, and if you've got a question or you just want to stop by and say hi, feel free to slide into my DMs and I'll make sure to get those answered for you. Big thanks to everyone who joined me today and for all of you tuned in, and until next time, enjoy your week.