The Honest Piece: Uncovering Self-Worth and Balancing Life's Highs and Lows

What makes us truly worthy? Join me, Dan, as I share my personal journey through life’s highs and lows, balancing the roles of hero and villain. Through honest and heartfelt conversations, I dive deep into topics of growth, motivation, and the inner battles of self-worth. I open up about my experiences helping others, reflecting on the importance of being truthful with oneself. Together, we'll uncover the missing pieces in our lives and highlight the importance of recognizing our own value.

Ever wondered how to balance work and personal life without losing your sanity? In this Podcast, I reveal a poignant story about advice from a general manager at a car dealership, which forever changed my perspective on life. Discover the essential practice of "dating your wife" or partner, and why making time for loved ones is crucial despite the pressures we put on ourselves to provide for a family. I discuss the moments of self-doubt and the challenges of maintaining equilibrium, emphasizing the necessity of prioritizing relationships. Expect to laugh, cry, and feel empowered as we explore these life lessons together.

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Hey everyone, welcome to the Honest Peace by Mad Gorilla. I'm Dan, your host. I wanted to get into the introduction explaining how this started and to tell you what you can expect when you're listening to this podcast. And to tell you what you can expect when you're listening to this podcast, so it's been probably 10 years, maybe even longer, I'm not exactly sure where.

Speaker 1: 0:33

I found myself talking to people more and more about growth, motivation, being driven, hell, even about just being worthy, or am, am I good enough or do I deserve this? What are some of the different things that I experience in my life? And bringing that to the forefront and dissecting everything that's happened and everything that I continue to learn on a daily basis thing that I continue to learn on a daily basis. So there have been multiple instances where I've had people tell me that you should be a motivational speaker. You should be constantly driving people to just do and be better. You're always trying to help others and sacrificing your own time in doing so. Now, what I found in doing that was that, although there were instances of me making people happy or making them feel better about themselves, it was great that I had that experience of helping someone else, but what I found that I was missing was that I just never thought I was worthy enough, or I never thought that I was good enough or who would possibly believe me. Because you know, to be honest, I wasn't always a good person and I still struggle with that today. So when you're talking about being a better person, doing better and motivating others and being driven to work with others and help them discuss and work through their issues as well, you find that you're going to be the monster in the story of some and you're going to be the angel in the stories of others. And for all those listeners out there, I want you to understand that I've been both and we honestly all have. You cannot say that everything's been perfect and that everything is hunky-dory and whatever. You want to put whatever spin on it.

Speaker 1: 2:46

So the idea was to sit down and finally just open myself up, sacrifice myself, so to speak, to the idea of having and creating this podcast, working with my wife to help facilitate this, get it down and start just having those difficult conversations with people. I found that there are instances what a friend of mine calls porch time, and he says a porch time with Dan. I really want to sit down and have a talk with you and, mind you, this kid is 21 years younger than I am. I'm 50. And I still have a lot to learn and some of the other things that you're going to find out down the road is I still don't know shit.

Speaker 1: 3:35

I'm just navigating through this the best that I can, because, when it comes down to it, it never came with an instruction manual in the first place. Our parents didn't have it, our grandparents didn't have it, and so on and so forth. I don't have it. I'm trying to be the best parent that I can be, at least what I think is supposed to be it. But you know what's normal, what's right, what's wrong? Hell, none of us know what that is. We just have this in our mind, the idea of what this is supposed to be, and there's a lot of variables in there when you're trying to discuss or trying to fish and find the answers to the questions that we all desperately seek.

Speaker 1: 4:18

And so I'm sitting here on a daily basis, having a hard time sleeping at night, wondering what can I do to just get better? How can I get out of this funk when I'm feeling that way, or how can I spread the feeling that I have of just feeling on top of the world. And how can I keep that feeling going? Because you know, it's almost like a fresh haircut when you get your haircut you feel good. Or when you wash your car, you feel better. Or you've cleaned the house and everything just feels good and the planets align and the frequencies are on and you just can't stop it. But then boom, something happens and everything comes crushing down on you and the world seems overwhelming and you're a victim of your own demise, so to speak. So I really would like to get into talking with others, finding out how they perceive the world and figure out how in the world I can make the difference at least in one person's life, just by talking and having a conversation with you or with anyone else that wants to sit down and talk with me, just in general, talking about again the worthiness, the feeling like I have a purpose in life and we all have something. We wouldn't be here otherwise, I don't think.

Speaker 1: 5:54

Anyway, I think that there is a reason why each of us exist. I think that there is something that we are supposed to do. I have no idea what it is. This is what I feel like I'm supposed to be doing, and I'm convinced of it every time I talk with somebody and the conversation ends with them saying I just am so glad I had this talk with you. So here I am, the mad gorilla.

Speaker 1: 6:22

What can you expect? You can expect to laugh. You can expect to cry. You can expect to want to get up and just tell the world to fuck off. You can expect to get up and tell the world that you love them with all your heart and mean it. It's just going to be a roller coaster of emotions and some days they'll be good and some days they'll be bad. I just don't know what's going to happen, but I can tell you this the idea is to uncover the little pieces that you might be missing in your life, and the majority of the time you're going to find that those little pieces that you're missing is your inability to be honest with yourself, the inability to be fair to yourself and accept those instances where people tell you you are enough, you are worthy, I want you here, and you are going to have to change your mindset. Once you hear some of these things, it's almost like I don't know how to explain it. It's almost like knowing that, with this fresh knowledge in your brain, that you're going to be able to function a little bit better.

Speaker 1: 7:48

It's not always going to be solved in one day, it's not going to be solved in a single conversation, but it can be solved just by having these particular instances because, let's face it, everybody has a hard time. It doesn't matter what you are, whether you're white, black, male, female, religious or not. None of that matters because, honestly, when we all sit down and figure out how to communicate with each other, it just becomes better. We all know how to love, we know how to hate, we know how to bring joy to it, we know what rage is, we know what all of these emotions are. And the thing is is that they are universal, they are international. There is not a single language on earth that does not understand a laugh and what a laugh brings to the table they. There is not a single person or a single soul on the face of this earth that doesn't understand what crying for joy or crying because you're sad. They know what that difference is, and this is where we bring to the table all of these different little conversations and they are going to be broke up into pieces, because the important part about doing this is explaining that it's okay to not feel okay and it's okay to be okay, but let's figure out what those pieces are.

Speaker 1: 9:26

For yourself and for me, it's going to be a journey because, you know, I've been thinking about this for a long time. I've been thinking about having porch time with Dan, with my buddy Josh, or just random conversations with employees, many that I thought would be with us for a long period of time, but I would encourage them to go and do what makes them happy. But I would encourage them to go and do what makes them happy. So I'm going to have people on this podcast that are going to sit down. It's going to range from male and female, it's going to range from adult to child. It's going to have a variety and diverse group of people on here, stretching from people that don't know squat to people that are professionals in the field of counseling and therapy, and so I'm going to be bringing a lot to the table, and I hope that you will enjoy it as much as I do.

Speaker 1: 10:37

I hope that it will help you. I hope that it will help you. I hope that you engage with me, ask questions, comment and search with me. I hope that you find this journey, will find that you just become better, and that you find that there is somebody else out there that is like you not an exact replica, but goes through the same things and I think a lot of people miss that. I think a lot of people miss the point of being a human and doing this together and knowing what family is. And I'm not talking about blood. I'm talking about the people that actually care for you on a day-in and day-out basis, really want to know how you're doing, and that can be your best friend. It could be a complete stranger, someone that just cares about other people in general. I just hope that that is something that you find when we do this. So I'd like you to sit back. I don't know how frequently this is going to be. It's just starting, so I don't know how often I will do it. Right now it looks like it'll be once a month to start this and figure out how much people will need it or how much they will want it. But for me, this is a release because I have normal therapy sessions. I have them every two weeks with a licensed therapist and you know, I know that when I walk out of those talks with him that I feel so much better, and this is just another avenue for me to explore with other people that I think could possibly help me, and maybe, just maybe, I can help you too by learning some of the things that I've heard along the way.

Speaker 1: 12:36

Let me give you an example, one that I've heard before, and I got this from a gentleman that was a general manager at a car dealership that I worked out many years ago. He said date your wife. Now. I had been selling cars for 17 plus years a long time and I was working late one night trying to put some deals together. I needed to make some money. My wife was pregnant, I had a little one in the home already and I just needed to make money and I was struggling, and so it was towards the end of the month. I'm trying to put some deals together so that I can put food on the table, make sure that we have a roof over our head and just feel like I'm a good dad. A good father Just trying to change my life, trying to do better for myself, because I had been so fucked up for so long. And he approached me, saw me one night and says I was at the dealership. And he said, dan, come here and talk to me for a minute. I want to talk to you Now. He already knew some of the background about me. You know my wife being pregnant, us just moving from Kansas to Georgia. And he said, dan, we sat down in the office. He says I want to tell you something that I've learned a long time ago. And he says I've been doing this for such a long time.

Speaker 1: 13:59

It's great to be successful. It's great to want to chase that. It's great to want to make your dreams come true. It's great to put action to that, write the plan out, follow through. And to be successful, it's great, but you have to put balance to it. It's like what do you mean? He said you need to date your wife.

Speaker 1: 14:21

You know kind of thinking what Date your wife? I mean, I love my wife. There's nothing I wouldn't do for my wife. But what I wasn't thinking about was the other side of the coin, that yes, I'm providing for her and I'm providing for my kids and I'm doing what I think is the best thing to do, but what I'm not doing is spending time with her. I'm at the dealership trying to make money and I'm trying to force it and I'm trying to wrestle the fucking thing to the ground and and trying to figure out you know how I'm going to make this work or what I'm going to do to find my next customer, so that way I can put some food on the table.

Speaker 1: 14:55

And that was the most important thing to me. It wasn't, I wasn't thinking about making sure that my wife had me there to support her or help change the diapers, or help pick up the house or whatever it may be. The idea was that I needed to be out there making the money and I thought that that was my way of supporting and I wasn't balancing that correctly. So when he brought that to the table for me date your wife, it just the light bulb came on and I was like wow, never thought of it like that. Because, you know, think about it this way. Whether it be your wife, your husband, fiance, boyfriend, girlfriend, whatever it is, I don't care, it's not important, it's not the relevant part of it. The relevant part is when you go, I have to make time for them and I have to be willing to identify that within me when I go. I need to stop for a second. You know, I'm going 100 fucking miles an hour and I can't figure out how to balance this and make it work. Either I'm not working efficiently at work and and and making sure that I'm doing the best that I can possibly do while I'm there, and that's the fucking honest piece right there.

Speaker 1: 16:10

The honest piece was that there were days that I was like, fuck, I can't get this done, I'm fucking suck at it, I'm worthless. And then there were other days where I was on man like boom, fucking. Every time I talked to somebody, I was putting keys in their hands. But it was the days that I fucking sucked at it and I was like what am I doing? You know, I'm fucking worthless. I can't possibly get anything right. And so I was spinning my wheels and not focused on trying to make things happen. I was focusing on the negative going. I can't fucking do this, when I've known all along that I can if I just stop and focus for a minute. But I'd get overwhelmed with things that were going on or my wife was sick, or the kids were sick, or whatever the deal was. There was always some fucking excuse that always stopped me from progressing, and it's been that way my entire life, and it will be in different areas of things that I'm doing as I grow. That's never going to stop until the day that I've finally gone.

Speaker 1: 17:16

So here's the thing. That's just one little tidbit of things that are coming, things that I've learned from individuals, just one saying or a mindset or something that just goes along with it. You're going to hear those same things. You're going to experience some of the things that I've experienced along the way. You're going to hear quotes. You're going to see things that I've researched and sourced out and things that I've held on to, because there is so much information out there regarding men's mental health that I just think it's important for us men to finally sit back and look at the little intricacies, the little things that make us who we are, that make us want to do the things that we do.

Speaker 1: 18:12

But on the other side of the coin, we need to see the reactions from the people that we do it for. We need to see it and hear it from the people that we love, the people that maybe are just even complete strangers, and see us out there walking around, and how we move With the other people and other things around us, because I am guilty Of allowing myself and this is the honest part Because I used to say that motherfucker pissed me off. Nah, that's not the real deal. I allowed myself to get pissed off and I could have stopped for a moment. So I hope that you'll find that this is a breath of fresh air.

Speaker 1: 19:02

I hope that you'll find that this is something that you can come to and, even if you're just sitting there listening, that this might give you the idea that you have potential, not in the Pinocchio way of going oh, you have potential, you have potential and the fucking nose is growing. This is about understanding that you are just as human as any other motherfucker on the face of this earth, and that is just a plain and simple, fucking fact, right? So you're also going to hear that I talk like a sailor, even though I've never been one. But this is just how I talk. I don't mean it in a derogatory manner, unless it's when I'm fucking pissed off at somebody. But you're going to hear some of this stuff and I hope that you'll continue to listen, because you know it's just the world that we're in. It's how I talk.

Speaker 1: 20:02

I will try to work at refraining from cussing constantly. I will work on that. That is just something that I have to do and decide that. You know, I want this to be informative. I want it to be real, though, and I want it to be relatable, because you know, when guys are raging out, they're fucking mad, and that's just the plain and simple fact of it. So you're going to have to get used to it, especially if you're someone that just doesn't understand how men tick, and that is just how we are. We scream in private, we cry in private, we tend to lash out when we're that fucking angry, and it's usually towards the people that we love.

Speaker 1: 20:46

So I hope that you find that this enjoyable content. I hope that you find that this enjoyable content. I hope that you find that this is something that's worthy of your time and that you'll continue to come back and just slowly evolve with me. Maybe we'll quickly evolve, I don't know. I don't know how it's going to affect you, but I can tell you that this is an avenue that I'd like to explore, because I honestly think that when I'm sitting down and talking with other people, regardless of their age, that I've learned a lot from people that are younger than me. I've learned a lot from people that are older than me. I've learned it from my peers uh, you know, same age group type thing. Um, so I just think that there's a ton of value in this. I think that there is an opportunity that if I sit down and just share this information with people, that at least maybe somebody will get something out of it and it'll make sense and click. And here's the other thing I'm okay with you disagreeing with me right, because we can agree to disagree but I'd also like to know what you think. But I'd also like to know what you think. Why is it that you think like that? Because I'm a detailed person.

Speaker 1: 21:55

I love the dialects that they have out there for communication. There's four different dialects. We'll talk about those in future podcast episodes. We will talk about understanding how other people move your wife, about understanding how other people move your wife, because you know I'm a physical and I like physical affirmation and I like words of affirmation. So, and other people? Hell, they just want you to do things for them it's called the deeds and others just want you to be in their presence, just knowing that you're there for them. We're going to learn more about that as we go.

Speaker 1: 22:33

So please join in, don't feel free or I mean, don't feel don't hesitate to reach out, don't hesitate to speak up and if something makes you feel weird or something's uncomfortable or you feel absolutely fantastic and you want to yell it on the top of a mountain, fucking yell it from the top of a mountain and just feel free to talk with me about it, because you know, I like other perspective. I like how people think about situations. I want to know, because I could be absolutely wrong. I'm not a therapist, I'm just a regular guy. That's it. I'm just a regular guy and I feel that I have something important to share. I think I have something important to bring to the table for a lot of people. So please don't hesitate. Without the least hesitation or reservation is what we say. So please bring it to the table. It's important. I think it's great to discuss these things and I feel like it's going to benefit us all. So thank you all so much for tuning in.

Speaker 1: 23:50

I look forward to talking to you, checking out the comments, I look forward to all of it. Some of it's going to be good, some of it's going to be bad, and you know what I'm going to be okay with it. That's what I'm telling myself. That's the honest part. I have to be okay with it because I have to take the good with the bad, regardless what it is, or I have to take the bad with the good, and I feel like this is going to be something just fantastic. People are already telling me I'm so excited that this is going to happen, and I think you will be too so. Again, the Honest Peace by Mad Gorilla. I'm Dan, your host. I look forward to seeing you in future episodes. We'll talk to you soon. Have a great night.