How to feel awful: Proven strategies to destroy your mental heath

Join me for a satirical yet impactful exploration of methods guaranteed to maximize your misery. From skipping exercise and endlessly scrolling through social media to the pitfall of comparing yourself to others, we cover all the surefire ways to sink your mental well-being. By tuning in, you’ll laugh through the dark humor and perhaps recognize some habits that could be steering you towards a path of stress and anxiety.

But we don't leave you hanging in the depths of despair! After painting a grim picture, we shift to a brighter narrative, focusing on overcoming these mental health challenges. We’ll talk about how substance abuse, rumination, poor sleep, self-blame, and constant complaining form a toxic cocktail for your mind. Then, I’ll guide you through actionable, healthier alternatives that can foster a happier, more purposeful life. Learn how small, intentional changes in your daily routine can significantly impact your overall well-being and set you on the path to inner peace and joy. Get ready to transform your mindset and your life, all with a dose of humor and a touch of satire.

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House, J. S., Landis, K. R., & Umber

Transcript

Jim Cunningham: 0:03

Are you sick and tired of feeling happy and content? Are you tired of all that positivity just ruining your perfectly dreary day? Well, you're in luck. Welcome to the ultimate guide on how to feel absolutely miserable. I've compiled a list of the best strategies to ensure your mental health. Takes a nosedive. Say goodbye to peace of mind and hello to stress, anxiety and all around unhappiness on this episode of the Unscripted Mind.

Jim Cunningham: 0:41

Welcome to the Unscripted Mind, where our goal is to give you fresh perspectives, practical insights and tools you can use to give you more choices, increase your awareness and have better control of your reactions, feelings and behaviors. My name is Jim Cunningham and I'm a licensed professional counselor, and today we're going to talk about some practical tips and tricks to get rid of that pesky happiness and joy you have in your life. Now, I know this might sound like a big challenge, but trust me, it's not as hard as you think. I'm sure many of you have already successfully used some of these techniques, but whether you're a seasoned pessimist or just starting on your journey into the depths of despair, this guide is here to help you maximize your misery. So grab a seat, make yourself comfortable, or uncomfortable preferably, and let's dive into the surefire ways to make sure you're feeling worse in no time. Now I'm sure you're saying to yourself but, jim, I seem to have everything going well for me. How could I possibly change things so quickly? Trust me, you can turn every silver lining into a dark cloud. You might be asking where do I even begin to start? Well, the good news is that you can start immediately, as this requires very little talent and absolutely no support from anyone else. You'll just need to tweak the priorities a bit, but I think you'll find that many of the things on this checklist may already be things you're doing, so you've already got a head start.

Jim Cunningham: 2:06

Where do we begin? Well, number one, I think isolation. Keeping yourself isolated is going to prevent those people who might want to support you and stuff from getting in your way. So isolation and loneliness is a great place to start, because it has been extensively studied and is known to be a significant risk factor for various mental health issues, so that research indicates that loneliness increases the likelihood of mortality by 26%, making it as dangerous as smoking 15 cigarettes a day. It's associated with higher rates of depression, anxiety, cognitive decline. So starting by isolating is a great, great place to begin.

Jim Cunningham: 2:45

Second, you don't want to exercise. If you are exercising, you need to stop. I mean, why bother with exercise when you can sit perfectly still and let anxiety and depression take root? Sedentary lifestyle is your fast track to poor mental health. The lack of physical activity is associated with higher levels of depression and anxiety, so regular exercise is known to improve mood and overall mental health, and that is exactly the reason why we would like to avoid that. You're not going to make the strides you want to make by exercising, so lack of exercise is going to exacerbate these conditions and lead to poor mental overall health.

Jim Cunningham: 3:21

The third thing I might suggest is binging on social media. Spend all of your time, all of your free time, on social media. If you've got productive activities that are getting in the way, you need to get rid of those, because it's the best way to ensure you feel utterly inadequate compared to everyone else's highlight reels. Excessive use of social media platforms has been linked to higher levels of anxiety and depression, particularly among young adults. A study published by the Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology found that limiting social media significantly decreases loneliness and depression. But that's not what we're looking for. We're looking for the constant comparison and unrealistic portrayals of life on social media that contribute to negative self-perception by creating unrealistic expectations and comparisons. Truly the sweet spot. This ties into the fourth item on the checklist, and that is you need to compare yourself to other people their wealth, their status, their happiness, etc. I mean, compare away. Nothing boosts self-esteem like feeling inferior to carefully curated online personas. It's a fantastic recipe for anxiety and depression. You are going to love it. Constant comparison can lead to feelings of inadequacy, low self-esteem that contribute to anxiety and depression, which is again what we're looking for. Festinger's social comparison theory explains how comparing oneself to others can lead to feelings of inadequacy and lower self-esteem, so this is empirically verified. So we want to use these studies that show frequent social comparison on social media platforms is correlated with depressive symptoms and decreased life satisfaction. Bingo Now.

Jim Cunningham: 5:06

Starting to believe that you are the only one that has the problem is the next step. Of course, you're the only one with problems in the entire universe. This belief is sure to amplify your loneliness and stress. Having this belief is going to exacerbate your feelings of isolation and loneliness, leading to increased stress and a higher risk of mental health disorders. This one simple cognitive distortion can lead to increased feelings of isolation and hopelessness. A study by the National Institute of Mental Health highlights that people who feel alone in their struggles are less likely to seek help, exacerbating their condition. This belief perpetuates a cycle of isolation and mental distress which is going to tie in very nicely with our next point on the checklist, which is don't tell anyone anything or share any of your problems. See, now that you've cultivated some solid mental health issues, you're going to want to keep those tricks to yourself. Why would you share your problems when you can keep them bottled up inside, letting them fester into a delightful cocktail of stress and isolation, perfect for mental health decline. Keeping problems to oneself is going to help increase stress and that sense of isolation tremendously.

Jim Cunningham: 6:22

The American Psychological Association emphasizes that social support is crucial for mental health. That's why we have to avoid it in order to be successful here. Lack of communication can lead to the buildup of stress and the exacerbation of other mental health issues. So by avoiding those kinds of things we can move to step number six, and that is avoid the hassle of discomfort by addressing problems. Bury those emotions, shove them down. I mean, who's got time for that Now that you've got some good, unhealthy patterns of behavior and thought, you'll want to shove those emotions deep, deep down. Who needs emotional health? Anyway? Suppressing feelings is a stellar strategy for brewing anxiety. Anyway, suppressing feelings is a stellar strategy for brewing anxiety, depression and even some fun physical health issues, if you like. This emotional suppression is going to be essential if you want to feel worse, because it leads to numerous other negative outcomes, including increased anxiety, depression and, like I said, even some physical health problems like hypertension. According to some studies, long-term suppression of emotions prevents effective problem solving and emotional regulation. So we are still on the right track here.

Jim Cunningham: 7:34

The next step is to focus on drama and not problem solving Drama. Drama, drama, honestly solving problems is so passe, focus on the theatrics and watch your stress levels soar. Focusing on drama instead of solutions can create a nice toxic environment, both personally and professionally. It increases stress levels and hinders problem-solving abilities, and chronic stress from such environments can lead to burnout and mental health issues, not just for you, but here's the bonus for your friends, family and co-workers. So that is a perfect recipe for some second and third order effects for your friends and family.

Jim Cunningham: 8:14

Next, we want to use a lot of mind-altering substances Now. Substance abuse is a brilliant strategy for worsening mental health. I think we all kind of know that. It's a shortcut for dependency and a perfect method for exacerbating depression and anxiety, and to that I say cheers. Substance abuse is strongly linked to mental health disorders. It can lead to dependency, exacerbate the symptoms of depression, anxiety and increase the risk of developing further mental health conditions later down the road. It also affects brain function and overall physical health as well. So again still on the right track here.

Jim Cunningham: 8:52

What you want to do with this point is to perseverate and ruminate. I want you to focus and wallow in the negative. Now that you've been following the template, you should be feeling pretty awful. Now is the time to take that deep dive into the cesspool of self-loathing and start wallowing in that negativity. Ruminate on every little thing that's wrong. Focus on that. It's the best way to ensure you never have to solve any problems and stay stuck in the cycle of distress. Rumination can lead to increased levels of depression and anxiety. It prevents positive problem solving and increases stress. Rumination, or the constant focus on those negative thoughts, is a significant risk factor for depression and anxiety, and it prevents individuals from engaging in positive problem solving and can perpetuate a cycle of negative thinking and, again, more emotional distress.

Jim Cunningham: 9:47

All of this should lead you to some really really poor sleep, sleep less or use things like alcohol to make sleep worse. If you really want to take it to the next level. If you've been following this template, or if you're already doing some things on this template, your sleep is probably already in the crapper. Poor sleep is your ticket to a whole new level of mental health decline. Alcohol will definitely help disrupt your sleep even more, but poor sleep is linked to a range of mental health issues, including depression and anxiety, and alcohol can disrupt sleep patterns, exacerbating issues like the risk of depression, anxiety and cognitive impairment. Alcohol, while initially is a good sedative, will ultimately disrupt sleep patterns and you'll wake up feeling not rested at all, which again is going to make everything feel even worse.

Jim Cunningham: 10:41

The next step is to start blaming yourself for everything. Now, of course, this is kind of silly, because if you're following this template, it is absolutely your fault and this is absolutely a true statement. But why not use this to take on the mantle of victim? Also, let's get as much bang for the buck as we can. Self-blame is fantastic for maintaining a negative self-view and ensuring you never engage in positive self-reflection. It's a surefire way to feel depressed, helpless and hopeless. Well done, it perpetuates a negative self-view and prevents you from engaging in positive self-reflection and growth. Finally, what is the point of feeling terrible if no one is aware? After all, you're the victim here. In the last step, you should have convinced yourself of this.

Jim Cunningham: 11:31

Now it's time to go public. This might sound counterintuitive at this point, but remember to complain, complain, complain, because you're going to really want to spread the news about how much negative progress you've made by complaining to everyone you know. And since you're already spending so much time on social media, you'll want to share your misery there as well, to help others achieve the same level of progress you've made. Constant complaining is going to reinforce all those negative thought patterns that you've had and can create a pessimistic outlook on life like you've never seen before. If you're lucky, it's also going to strain relationships, which is going to support a lot of other things you've already done, like isolating and increasing stress levels and keeping you from seeking constructive solutions. Now I realize that some of you may be already doing some of these things religiously, and to that, I realize that some of you may be already doing some of these things religiously, and to that I say congratulations. But there's another section of people who I've already experienced all this strategy has to offer and want to turn things around, to slough off that negativity, maybe to start living a happy, productive life and maybe a purposeful life.

Jim Cunningham: 12:42

Now I know we've had a little fun with how to feel worse, but in all seriousness, here's the bottom line Control what you can control. We can largely choose how we feel by what we do, what we ingest and what we focus on. Now I understand there are exceptions, there are medical issues and extenuating circumstances for people that can drive moods, but for most of us we're putting garbage in and somehow miraculously expecting we'll be immune from the consequences. That's just not how things work. Our attitudes and decisions, even micro decisions, are key determinants of how we feel.

Jim Cunningham: 13:24

Every day I have many opportunities to choose things that make me feel better, that help me sleep better, to be more productive, to feel more connected to other people. If I come home from work and decide to watch the news and scroll on social media with a beer in my hand, that road leads to a very different place than if I change my clothes and take a two mile walk with my wife. Each of these seemingly small decisions leads to radically different outcomes. There are things that I can do that almost guarantee 100% that I will feel better. All I have to do is do those things. If and that's a big if we truly want to turn things around, slough off all the negativity, start to live a less stressed, more productive and purposeful life, we have to make different choices. I often ask clients if they truly want to change, because the things that they are doing I know and they know don't work.

Jim Cunningham: 14:30

So if we were really to get crazy, what might doing the opposite look like for most of us? Well, the first thing is don't isolate. Isolating tends to be one of the first things people do. Instead, find ways to connect with other people. Isolating tends to be one of the first things people do. Instead, find ways to connect with other people. Isolating simply does not work and exacerbates everything.

Jim Cunningham: 14:52

Second, you want to exercise regularly. It's one of the most effective ways to improve mood and reduce symptoms of depression and anxiety almost immediately, even sometimes while you're still exercising. Third, you want to limit social media. We know all of this intuitively and all the research only seems to reinforce this idea. Setting limits on social media can improve mental health period. Stop comparing yourself to others and focus on your own progress. Remember other people are not the metric to determine how you're doing. The odds of others having your goals and priorities are actually very low. If you must compare yourself to something, then compare yourself to how you were yesterday.

Jim Cunningham: 15:39

Next, we want to understand that we are not alone. This is one of the first real traps clients fall into not just clients, but all people, and that is believing that they're the only one struggling or suffering with a certain problem. I can guarantee whatever you're going through, many others are also Finding, and being more connected with those people is a guaranteed way to make yourself feel a little bit better. Share your problems. This goes hand in hand with finding other people. Talking about problems with people you trust to reduce stress and provide new perspectives is also very helpful, and you don't want to suppress, but you want to address those emotions head on rather than avoiding them.

Jim Cunningham: 16:23

Finally, you want to focus on solutions, not drama. This is a topic for another episode in and of itself, but developing a proactive mindset and focusing on problem solving can reduce stress. Drama creates chaos, focuses us on the wrong things and generates a ton of negative emotions. Problem solving, on the other hand, is focused on a clear goal and it is not an emotional process, because it utilizes the cognitive or thinking part of the brain, not the emotional part. While you're working on all of this, you want to avoid substances like alcohol or marijuana or anything else that is going to manipulate how you feel about things Now. They might make you feel better in the moment, but just because something works temporarily doesn't mean it's a good thing or is a good long-term solution. In fact, it's more likely to compound whatever problems you're struggling with in the long term.

Jim Cunningham: 17:22

Another thing to focus on is prioritizing sleep. Everything gets harder when you don't sleep well. Establish a regular sleep schedule, create a restful environment and avoid screens and the blue light stuff before bed. Finally, you need to control your brain. One of the best precursors of depression is ruminating on the negative. Some call it stinking thinking. Sometimes our minds get stuck on all that's wrong and we lose sight of all the things that are going great in our lives. To change this requires intentionality it's not going to change by itself and by controlling our brain. We also need to control what we say so, stop complaining. This is only going to reinforce and keep reminding you and everybody around you how bad you actually feel. And lastly, give yourself some grace. Self-compassion is associated with greater emotional resilience and lower levels of anxiety and depression.

Jim Cunningham: 18:22

If you can change your focus and your behaviors, you can change your life. No one likes to hear this, but I have to remind people that no one else can do this for them. The cavalry is not going to simply come riding over the mountain and save the day and make all the changes for you. You always get the final say, and here's the good news. Every day, we get to make a choice. We can decide to make our day harder by doing the things that don't work, or we can make our day better by deciding on things that we know will work. Every single day, the choice is in our hands, so choose wisely. Thanks for checking us out on this edition of the Unscripted Mind. If you found this episode helpful, please share it with someone, maybe someone who you feel might need it. Please subscribe, follow us and leave a review. Also, if you have any questions or topics you'd like us to cover, please include that as well. Until next time, remember, life doesn't come with a script. No-transcript.