Navigating the Gratuity Maze: Marcy's Musings on Tipping Etiquette and Life's Quirks

Ever found yourself awkwardly standing at a coffee kiosk, staring at the tipping options on the screen, wondering what's the right amount to tip for a latte? Well, you're not alone. I'm Marci, and this week I'm letting you in on my personal musings about the sometimes perplexing world of tipping etiquette. From sharing updates about my life, like the thrill of a stormy forecast or the endorphin rush from my gym routine, to contemplating the sizzling heat of Arizona and Palm Desert trips, it's been a roller coaster leading up to Mother's Day. And let's not forget the rental car sticker shock in our post-COVID world – a real doozy that turned a Texas wedding into a vehicular wild goose chase!

But it's not all about my escapades; we're also peeling back the layers of those sneaky service charges and tip requests that pop up when we least expect them. Have you ever been stung by a surprise service fee at your favorite eatery? I'll walk you through my own baffling encounter and how I dealt with it, offering some practical advice on the go. With inflation and tight budgets squeezing us tighter, understanding when and how much to tip can feel like navigating a minefield. So, grab your preferred beverage and let's explore the art of tipping with transparency, fairness, and maybe a little bit of humor – because, at the end of the day, we could all use a reason to smile about our gratuity conundrums.

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:05

Hello and welcome to Inside Marci's Mind. Welcome to Episode 2. I'm glad you're here. I hope you listened to Episode 1 and enjoyed it, and we'll do nothing but grow from here. So, wow, it's hard to believe I'm on Episode 2. You know, after doing a podcast for two years called AG Name for Sissies and I implore you to go back and listen to that one as well it's hard to start this out and say the right thing, so it took me a couple of takes, but I think we got it today.

Speaker 1: 0:40

And on today's episode, what is on inside Marcy's mind? Well, what's inside Marcy's mind this week is tipping. So we'll get to that. We'll talk about it. I'm sure you have feelings about it I do, and never such strong feelings as I have now. But that will wait and we will first check in and see what's been going on in my life. So, grab that Diet Coke, that coffee, whatever you have, sit back, relax and I'll clue you in to what's been going on with me.

Speaker 1: 1:15

Well, let's see here. It is the week before Mother's Day, and so what have I been up to? It's been, you know, know, thank goodness after traveling to Greece and being gone for a couple of weeks and coming back and being quite busy. This week was a very quiet week for me, not quite as busy, obviously, going to the gym. We had a lot of rain here and a lot of bad weather, as you know, in the Midwest not here where I'm at in the downtown city of Chicago, chi-town, the city of wind it wasn't here, but we did have a lot of storms come through and I've always been a weather geek and when we moved from California to Texas, I loved the weather.

Speaker 1: 2:01

I loved having weather. Southern California although the last couple years have been different never really loved the weather. I loved having weather. Southern California although the last couple years have been different never really gave me weather. So I enjoy having weather. As you all know, I don't like it cold.

Speaker 1: 2:15

So what did I do this week? Oh, I made some plans for August. In August I always head to my nephew's house in Arizona. I am one of the weirdos that love 110 degree weather. So I've got that plan and from there I'm going to drive down to Palm Desert, my other favorite place to be with my best friend and, if you don't know, I have a best friend of over 50 years and her name is Lynn, and Lynn and I have been friends forever. We know everything about each other. We know our deepest, darkest secrets and our biggest, greatest joys. We know it all. Maybe when we're in Arizona I can get her to do an interview and we could do a little podcast together. So yeah, so I got that done. I made that reservation.

Speaker 1: 3:04

I don't know about you, but have you noticed the price of rental cars? Like, flying is no big deal, hotel even well, obviously in the desert, who wants to stay there? But me got a great time share there for a great price in August. But rental cars are insanely expensive and I think that's ever since COVID Insanely expensive, and I think that's ever since COVID.

Speaker 1: 3:28

One time I was renting a rental car during COVID it was the October of COVID when we kind of thing settled down. A friend's daughter was getting married in Texas and I got there and I have heard scold. So I went to go grab my car. Not a, not a single car, no car. I'm in this huge parking garage no car. And I look over and there's like three people standing there and I go cars and they're like there aren't any. So we're standing in line and a guy comes up. He goes. Okay, this is how this is going to work. I'm going to drive a car up, the first person in line. If you want it, take it, if not, it goes to the second person in line. It was like let's make a deal for cars, so nonetheless, I'm at the end of this little line and everybody gets their car and he pulls up in a Jeep and I looked at him and I had to say do I look like cheap material? He said no, you don't, which was a compliment. Thank you very much. And he ran and got me another big giant. I don't even know what it was, a giant SUV, worked great for me. But that was kind of one of the first times I realized during COVID they had sold all their cars and I have a feeling they never restocked with a full load and now we have high prices. But we have high prices on everything and that's kind of going to be what we go into today when we talk about tipping. But again, we'll get to that.

Speaker 1: 4:45

What else did I do this week? Worked out our pool opened here at the building. It was too chilly this week to use it, but it's open. That excites me. I went to a new doctor. Doctors are important the older you get. So if you're young and you're listening, this may not be important to you, but I moved here two years ago and I got established with a doctor and I got established with all the things, had a lot of medical issues when I first got here. I'm not having them now, but my doctor's office just up and closed down, totally closed, gone, poof out, got a letter saying they're closing, like a week before they closed. So I had to establish care with a new doctor.

Speaker 1: 5:32

And I don't know about you, but as I've gotten older, I've gotten pickier. So I'm a little picky and I wanted a woman and I had to choose a group that was within my insurance. Now, mind you, I pay $1,300 a month for insurance and it's still just like it's HMO. It's ridiculous. Anyhow, I uh, I chose a woman doctor and made my appointment and they said, well, would you like? And my appointment would be in July. And I'm like, okay, well, I've got enough of everything I need. So they said, would you like us to put you on the waiting list? I'm like, well, that'd be great.

Speaker 1: 6:13

So I get an email go on your MyChart, had my MyChart all set up and you've got a choice for an earlier appointment. So I click on and oh, yes, it's, it was this week on May, whatever 8th, and at one o'clock perfect grabbed it. Then I looked at it after I grabbed it, lost my other appointment. It was a man and it was at a office somewhere else. So I took a deep breath. It was irritated because it took me you have no idea how many hours to try to get things arranged to begin with, or maybe you do. Dealing with insurance is not fun and I thought you know what. I'm just going to leave it. Maybe this is a God thing, maybe this is what I'm supposed to be, where I'm supposed to be, who I'm supposed to be with.

Speaker 1: 7:06

Those of you that know me from my other podcasts know that I have a genetic disorder. So it's really super important that my genetic disorder is that of I can spontaneously burst arteries. I need a doctor, I can't be without one. So I looked at his picture and he looked pretty friendly and I thought, okay, he is, uh, got all the qualifications and so I drove down super easy to get to down Lakeshore drive, pulled right into the parking lot, very easy parking. No, no, pay parking. Now let me tell you something. If you live in a city, you know what no pay parking is worth. No, I didn't have to pay for my parking. I didn't have to validate anything. I could pull into a regular parking lot just a little South of the city not into the scary South of the city, but South of the city Nonetheless. That was exciting. So I got in, he walked in and he was delightful, absolutely adore him, feel very comfortable. He understands my complications and my issues and he was adorable and I was so happy. And so now I have established care, I've got my doctor and that feels really good. So that's kind of what my week was. Tonight I have an AA meeting that I go to.

Speaker 1: 8:28

For those of you that don't know, I've been sober 36 years. That'll be a theme throughout my podcast. My sobriety is extremely important to me. This is Mother's Day coming up. I have two children. I have a older child, kyle, who is a they. Them, I believe, is becoming a. He, which is just fine by me. He which is just fine by me, 31 years old, and I have a son, alec 29. He lives in Denver, is very outdoorsy guy, and Kyle lives in California. Now it's important for you to know that Kyle has decided to go no contact with her father and I. So again, that may become a theme here and there in our podcast.

Speaker 1: 9:13

I've it's been quite a while now, since last September. Well, for me, july added my husband to it in September. Um, it's not going to be a great mother's day just because of that, but, um, and make it clear that my the no contact has nothing to do with Kyle transitioning. I'm totally fine with that. I am an LGBTQ friendly mom, always have been, always will be. Uh, has more to do with Kyle, honestly, than I think it has to do with me. So that is my, my little nucleus of my life. Um, craig and I've been married 33 years, yes, 33. It'll be 34 this December. So again, that's a little bit about me.

Speaker 1: 10:03

Right now we are waiting on my other podcast is available on Apple. Apple is the only platform that my podcast, this podcast Inside Marcy's mind, is not on yet. If you want to get ahold of me, you can just email me at inside Marcy's mind at gmailcom, inside Marcy's mind at gmailcom, if you are a no contact parent, if you have anything you want to talk about, if you have anything that you want me to talk about on this podcast? Please just let me know. Right now you can find the pod on all platforms except for Apple at this point, but you can find it at my website, insidemarci'smindcom. Insidemarci'smindcom you can find all the episodes. One and two will be there. I drop episodes every Monday and let's get into it, all right.

Speaker 1: 11:01

So today I don't know about you guys, but this whole tipping thing and extra charges and all this stuff that's happening is is really bothering me in a lot of ways. It bothers me because I want everybody to be paid a fair wage. I also don't want to be gouged. I don't want to be paying more than I should be paying. I want to tip fairly. It's a real mind game, this whole tipping thing.

Speaker 1: 11:32

Now, so businesses that never seem to ask for a tip before are asking for tips. It could be a grocery store, it could be at the self-checkout. For God's sakes, we are now checking ourselves out, even at the airport. I will tell you, at Chicago O'Hare, you're checking yourself out. I'm not sure if they asked for a tip there, but I mean we're doing the work.

Speaker 1: 11:57

I don't know it's, it's. I feel like the world's a little upside down in ways. So so what is the etiquette? What is the etiquette? I think it remains the same, but here, here, here's my first problem. So I, um, I work out and I go up to coffee with my lady friends and we go to this little coffee kiosk inside 900 Michigan Avenue.

Speaker 1: 12:21

I usually get an iced tea. It requires them to put ice in the cup and pour the tea it's already made and hand it to me. I dress it, I put the lid on, I open the straw, what have you? And I always get the tip thing and I don't know what to do. And it's, you know, normally I'd throw 50 cents into something, but now, you know, they flip this chart around at me and and it's, it's an uncomfortable position. I want to make sure they're paid fairly. But on the other hand, my eight ounce iced tea is $4 and 50 cents. That's pretty fricking expensive, for a eight ounce iced tea is $4.50. That's pretty freaking expensive for a eight ounce iced tea. So all of these things are running through my head all the time and it just kind of got me thinking and I thought if I'm thinking, you all are thinking.

Speaker 1: 13:11

So there's some variables to keep in mind with tipping. And so, first of all, how do we deal with that unexpected tip request from somewhere? We never expected it? If someone picks up a couple of donuts and throws it in a bag for you, should they be tipped? I don't know how much of that tip is going to Square or whoever is running that iPad program. How much of the tip actually goes to the people? Does any of the tip go to the people? I know there was a restaurant where I lived that was called out for keeping all of the tips. So this whole tipping thing is becoming quite a thing. So how much do you tip In? Inflation is crazy.

Speaker 1: 14:00

Going out to eat here in the city, uh, craig and I went to. It's called Weber. It's like the Weber barbecue place we just went. I wanted a good hamburger and they have good hamburgers. So we went there for an afternoon, on a Friday three o'clock, had a hamburger. Everything was delicious, everything was good. I got the bill and there was a service fee of odd amount $7.99. How they got that I don't know, but what is a service fee? Why is it there? Is this a leftover from COVID? Why do you feel you need to do it? So I wanted to ask my server what it was. So I called him over and I said you don't have a question. Now see here again. Then you're getting looked at as being cheap or what have you.

Speaker 1: 14:50

I'm a good steward of my money. First of all, craig and I are half retired, craig's half retired. Our money is finite. You know, I care a little bit more than when we were younger and we had, you know, infinite possibilities of money. Probably should have thought about it then, but I didn't. And I and I asked him and he rolled his eyes at me. Well, I don't know about you, but the one thing I hate is somebody rolling their eyes at me that that there just killed me. And he said, well, they add that to the bill on the weekends. I said, oh OK, you know, after rolling your eyes at me, you lost me there, but nonetheless I understood that it was just something that was added on.

Speaker 1: 15:34

Now here is the problem I have. So I have a couple of problems with this. Well, first of all, I want you to understand one thing Make sure that those preloaded tips the 20%, the 10%, the what have you is correct. They can put in whatever they want Doesn't mean it's correct, and I've heard and I've seen that people are having problems with that. It'll say let's say something was $20 and 20% of that would be $4, right, but you look and it's six. So just make sure that you are making sure that those are correct. So that's another added stress to when they flip that sign around. Always remember, when they flip the thing around, you can put custom tip.

Speaker 1: 16:25

Now I had heard the other day that if you're standing and they're asking for a tip, you don't tip, and if you're sitting and they're asking for a tip, you tip. So there's that. You can always still give a cash tip, but a lot of places are cashless. So, like my coffee store, when I go to the hairdresser or anybody that works on my nails, my face, my hair, I tip in cash. I want them to get the tip and I never know where it's going to go. So you have the custom tip option. So then you can always make sure you're giving what you want. So if you want to get 50 cents on that iced tea, you can give 50 cents on that iced tea. That's a fair tip for a drink that was already made. It makes me crazy, okay, sorry. So there's.

Speaker 1: 17:19

What does TIP stand for? First of all it stands for to ensure promptness. That's a wives tale, but let's say that's what it stands for. Also, asking me to TIP before you've done my service is ask backwards when. How do I know if I'm going to like my coffee, what my coffee is going to be like, what, whatever it is? When you're asking me to tip before you've even served me, I could be standing for 20 minutes waiting for that coffee or that cookie or that, whatever it is you've just done and I've already tipped you.

Speaker 1: 17:53

Craig and I go to the Nordstrom's it's a block up from our place and we go to their cafe a couple of times a month. It's kind of our out of the way, quiet place to eat here in the city and, um, I like it. You walk up, you order, you pay, but when you sit down you get service but they ask you for the tip upfront. Now I tipped very generously one night 20%, considering I had to stand, I had to order, I had to do all that and Craig and I that night we were. There was only another table in there. We got the worst service, the worst. Craig needed pepper for his salad, which I don't know if you've noticed, but salt and pepper on the table is a thing of the past. In most restaurants we could not get the. We finally had to walk up to get and I've already tipped.

Speaker 1: 18:49

Now see this. This is herein lies the problem. So now we've kind of talked about that part, the tipping ahead of time, and from now on, after that, when I go in I leave a cash tip. I make sure I have cash now in my purse for tips. I didn't used to carry cash around, but I do now for these kind of daily tipping.

Speaker 1: 19:15

So the other problem with tipping is we don't know if somebody is being paid a minimum wage or a sub minimum wage. Did you know about the sub minimum wage thing? I guess I kind of did, but I really didn't. So let's talk about this. So you could have a minimum wage in your state. So let me. I printed out the states in their minimum wage. Let's just talk about Illinois. Illinois has a $14 hour minimum wage, but sub minimum. They could be being paid $4 an hour as a server, with tips being what's supposed to bring them up to a living wage. Now that puts a lot of pressure on us as the person leaving the tip. Then the other thing is tip before tax. Now here in Chicago, in the city this is what I have to go on now when we eat out it's a 10 and a quarter percent tax. We have 10 and a quarter or 10 and a half percent tax here in the city of Chicago and I said to Craig you know I've been tipping on the whole bill and Craig mentioned that's why he tips, I think 15% versus the 20. Because he just does it on the whole bill. So it kind of makes up for that.

Speaker 1: 20:40

We're going out this Sunday to a Mother's Day brunch at the hotel up the street, beautiful brunch. We went there last year and I wanted to go again Again. This is a brunch where you serve yourself. So how do you tip on that? You know they come, they take your plates. As long as I'm getting my plates taken away and my drinks filled, then definitely be a good tip. But if not, you know it's going to be reflective in your tip and you know I think reflecting the tip is important on the service.

Speaker 1: 21:22

So they're saying that tipping culture has changed over the last few years. They're saying that you know COVID, the pandemic, had a lot to do with. That Probably did. But you know it's neither here nor there. It's come, it's gone. What are we going to do about it? And technology, you know, having these iPads that they can flip around and have things in there. So then you know they're saying, if you're looking at your tipping, you should look at your.

Speaker 1: 21:55

Do you know what minimum wage is in your state? So here in in Illinois it's fourteen dollars. California it's sixteen dollars. But let me tell you something Idaho at seven twenty five, alabama, seven twenty five, kansas, kentucky, louisiana, mississippi, all $7.25. When you're in those states, people tip yeah, the cost of living is less there, but it's not that less. It's not, you know, $7 in one state, $16 in another.

Speaker 1: 22:31

I just I don't know. And I also don't know why it's up to us to make sure that people have a living wage. Isn't that something that the boss should do? And again, I'm just going to say this and it could be an unpopular opinion, but my opinions aren't always popular and you're going to find that on this podcast you took the job Like you took the job, you took the job Like you took the job and some people are going to tip good and some people aren't. So if you need a living wage job, then find another job. If you've got a boss that is not paying you a living wage. Again, I know unpopular, but I'm just saying if people refuse to take the jobs, then there's going to have to be a change and the only ways change comes is by people refusing to do things. So if you're standing, I guess the rule is if you're standing, don't tip. If you're sitting, tip and then carry cash and tip in cash after you get your coffee, after you get your service.

Speaker 1: 23:34

Tipping before service I am not doing anymore. I am not doing it anymore. I need to make sure that I get that service. I've been burned one too many times lately. And certainly if they're turning it around at a grocery store or someplace where it's just ridiculous, where there's unions and there's things that make sure there's a fair wage, it's not happening. So if you're as irritated with this whole tipping thing and I'm not irritated to tip, I want to make that clear.

Speaker 1: 24:04

I was a hairdresser. I lived by my tips. I understand tips are important and I want to tip fairly. But as a consumer I also don't want to be screwed, and with inflation we're all hurting. So I want to tip fairly, but as a consumer I also don't want to be screwed, and with inflation we're all hurting. So I want to be fair. I want to make that clear. I'm not against tipping, I just it's just getting confusing and hopefully I've taken a little bit of the confusion out of it. Maybe I confused you more. I don't know. Standing don't tip. Sitting tip If you're standing and you want to tip after they do it, that's what I think. Carry cash, tip in cash, throw a dollar down. If you give them cash it's going straight to them. If you're tipping on an iPad, it's not. I guarantee you someone is taking part of their tip. So anyways, that's what's inside Marcy's mind this week. Let's see what's inside my mind next week. I hope you all have a great week. See you when I see ya. Bye.