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Welcome back to *Stethoscopes and Strollers*. Today, we dive into an essential aspect of a physician mom's life: childcare. Often overlooked as part of your "village," reliable childcare isn't just helpful—it's a transformative element that returns time, rest, and peace of mind to your life.
In This Episode:
- Understanding Childcare Options: I explore the critical role of childcare in giving you more quality time with your children and discuss how to decide between different types of childcare providers.
- Pros and Cons of Nannies and Au Pairs: From live-in care to flexible schedules, I break down the benefits and challenges of choosing nannies and au pairs. We’ll discuss everything from the cultural exchange benefits of au pairs to the professional reliability of nannies.
- Personal Journey with Au Pairs: Initially resistant to the idea, I share how my perspective on au pairs changed after firsthand experience. I’m currently interviewing for a second au pair and will share why I believe live-in care can be a game-changer, especially for physician moms.
Discussion Highlights:
- Cost and Commitment: Understand the financial and emotional investments involved in each childcare option. While nannies can offer stability and long-term relationships, they can be expensive and may not always align with a physician’s unpredictable schedule.
- Flexibility with Au Pairs: I discuss the unparalleled flexibility that au pairs provide, particularly beneficial for physicians who need childcare that can adapt to varying schedules.
- Screening and Matching: I emphasize the importance of careful screening and matching processes to ensure that your childcare choice aligns with your family’s needs. This includes setting expectations right from the start and managing them throughout the arrangement.
Learn More and Register:
- Interested in diving deeper into finding the right childcare solution? Join my upcoming information session, "Hire a Nanny in Five Easy Steps," on June 27th, 2024. Register here
Register here for ✨Finding the Right Fit: Au Pair Essentials for Physician Moms✨ on August 15th at 3 PM ET/12 PM PT. Find, and keep, the right Au Pair for you and your family!
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Welcome back, Doc. Let's talk about childcare. So you may not think about childcare as part of your village, but it definitely is. If you don't have reliable, free childcare, like family or close friends, you may have to pay for this part of your village, but the return on investment is absolutely amazing.
You know, you will get your time back, you get rest, you get peace of mind, and you may actually get more quality time with your kids. If you have good, reliable childcare, so you know, how do you choose personally? I think all payers are excellent options for physician moms, and that is huge for me because I was very, very much against it.
But I have one now. I. Interviewing for a second and I am truly sold at this point. And you know, having live-in care is unmatched. I think the grandparents ruined us. We have had rotating mother and mother-in-law care for the last couple of years. And it's been really great. It is just something special about having somebody in the home To be there to support you with your child care So let's talk about both nannies and au pairs and then you can decide what is right for you So, you know, everybody knows what a nanny is.
They are childcare professionals. They can be as young as Late teens and as old as grandma, right? It is traditionally pretty easy to verify their experience and do background checks. And it's just nice to have that constant care in your home for the babies. And you can potentially have them for a pretty long time.
There are many physician moms who, um, Start off with nannies that stay with them for seven, 10 years, and then change into house managers. So it's just a nice option once you find somebody great. And really in those early years to help avoid having to send baby in to daycare, you can have that constant at home with them.
And of course, a nanny can live out or live in, but It may be tough to find a nanny that fits a physician's schedule if you don't have a traditional, like, predictable clinic schedule. So, if your schedule changes every single week, that can be difficult to find a nanny because if they are a career nanny or this is their full-time job, they're usually going to want to have some kind of stability.
And a lot of nannies are childbearing age as well, and they have their own kids. So having that kind of stability in their own schedule is pretty important to them. And the biggest drawback to having a nanny is that it can be quite expensive. So the rates depend on where you live, but in general, they are going to be at Minimum wage or much, much higher.
So there are people that are paying 50. Per hour for two kids or even upwards. So it depends on how many kids, it depends on the qualifications of the nanny and definitely where you live. And then you have to think about the taxes on top of that. So it can be pretty cost-prohibitive for a lot of families.
So all pairs are great in that respect because they are definitely the cheapest option for childcare. So what is an au pair? Au pair is usually a child, a teenager or a young adult that is from a different country that is coming to the United States an exchange program, so it's a cultural exchange where they get to experience American culture and American life.
They get education. They have education requirements in exchange for providing childcare. So they are on a work visa and with that work visa comes time restrictions. So an au pair can only be an au pair for maximum of two years. The first year. is the first commitment and then they can extend for six, nine or 12 months.
And as I mentioned, it is the cheapest option. There is a stipend that is required by the federal government. Some states have a little bit of a higher requirement and There's an ongoing fight now to make that nationwide, but fair not that is going to take a while to come into place across the board because it's the government.
So I don't think that should be a deterrent to anyone considering having an au pair and The biggest benefit to a physician household is the flexibility. You control the schedule. It can be a split schedule, which a lot of people need, they need somebody to help them get the kids ready in the morning and get them from school and put them down at night.
You can have a standard schedule. And that's it. You can have them watching your kids during the day only, or you can have it be variable where every week, every two weeks, the schedule changes and you are really in control in that way. And of course, you're not going to take advantage of this person. You give them as much notice as possible.
When you are first matching with the au pair, letting them know that the schedule is going to be variable or it's going to be split just so that expectations are managed. But at the end of the day. You determine what the schedule is and you can always change it once you're within their work hours because they do have that 45 hour a week limit, which again, is what makes it so affordable, right?
Because the minimum stipend is 195. 95 a week for 45 hours of childcare. You're really not going to beat that with anyone. But the downside and the downsides are what usually will keep people from joining the au pair program, that these are not childcare professionals. These are children who want to come to America to experience American life.
And they are often sold a dream by the au pair agencies because the au pair agencies want people to come into the program. That's how they make money. So many of them may not realize that it's actually a childcare job and Some of them may overstate their abilities. So if you need a driver and You know, they may say yeah, I can drive I drive weekly or whatever then when they get here They don't know which is the gas and which is a brick.
So There can be some hiccups there and it is a commitment, right? You once you join the program, the agencies expect you to be in the program for one year. So even if the au pair does not work out, they expect you to rematch and find another au pair and stay in the program for one year. So they make it very difficult to get refunds or to leave the program.
And it's an entire process. Which involves getting a visa, which can involve visa denials, and it's definitely not a quick fix for urgent childcare because it takes time. There are ways where you can get an au pair quickly, but it's not the ideal situation. So the two big reasons that Physician moms don't want to have au pairs is because of the horror stories they have heard and the fact that they don't want anybody in their house.
So I want to say something about the horror stories. It's one of those things just like divorce right? You are always going to hear the worst stories. Stories. People who've had bad experiences are the loudest. They are the ones that are scrambling for child care. They are the ones that are going to post about what their au pair did and all that.
You very rarely see stories of my au pair is great. She did this, she cooked for me. And, If it was that most people had horror stories, then the au pair program wouldn't survive, right? Like, it just doesn't make sense that everybody has bad experiences, but this program is able to continue and keep bringing in au pairs, and people keep getting childcare.
So, yes, there may be issues with au pairs. with personality differences and being dishonest in the selection process. That's when you weed out people that are maybe not as honest. You really just lock in on what you need to make the match work for you and your family. And you can usually find good enough child care, not perfect. So again, these aren't professionals, but good enough child care. And, the least uncomfortable situation in your home as possible.
And in terms of having somebody in your home, I say this with all the love in my heart, get over that shit, right? Having in-home childcare, it's like one of the best things ever. So I'm joking. I get it, especially if you have a smaller house, you're thinking, well, where am I going to put this person? They do have to have their own room.
They can share a bathroom, but they have to have their own room. And it can be like, well, yeah, I don't want somebody in my space, but you can screen for that, right? You can find an au pair with a personality where they're more likely to not be at home if they're not working or be in their room. I'll tell you, when my au pair is not working, we don't see her, she's in a room, she is a very comfortable room, she has her own TV with all of the streaming services she could ever need, and she has a car that she can use to come and go as she pleases, so she's never in our space, unless she's working, and it works out great for us, and I've had emergencies outside of regular hours and just being able to call on her because she was right there, not having to worry about, okay, who's going to come to watch my other child, who's going to do this. Like it is a level of security and comfort that really is unmatched. So it is definitely something that I encourage people to consider.
You know, if having live-in nannies were more affordable, then I would say, yeah, you definitely don't need to go through the hassle of having an au pair, but for most people, it really just isn't. I know a physician mom who had a smaller house at one point and she made her children share a room so that the au pair could have a room.
That's how important it was for her, uh, to stay in the au pair program, right? So, it can be an overwhelming process, but it can be such a rewarding one when you find the right fit. And just. Childcare in general is one of the biggest concerns of my clients and of physician moms in general, right? How to choose between a nanny and an au pair.
When you have made a decision, how do you actually find one? How do you interview? How do you hire? How do you match? Like all of these things can be very, very overwhelming. And that is why I focus my monthly information sessions on childcare, like on these topics, because It is my goal to make your life as easy as possible as a physician mom, you have enough other things to worry about without having to worry about finding childcare, right?
So if I can make the process a little bit easier with all of my experience of hiring nannies, hiring virtual assistants, hiring copy editors and all the people that I've hired in the past, I And being in the au pair program, I will do it. So my next session is going to be on june 27th. Of this year, 2024.It's called Hire a Nanny in Five Easy Steps. This will be the second time I'm doing this info session. The first time was excellent. It was so helpful and I got great feedback from the people who attended. And It just breaks it down into very easy steps to not only make the process easy, but to make it efficient so that you're not spending tons and tons of time with applicants that don't actually fit what you need for your family, We go through how to draft your ad, where to look, how to interview the screening questions, the actual hiring process, onboarding, like all of it.
So it just makes everything so much easier. in such a shorter time and you can find the right nanny to fit your unique needs. So I encourage you to sign up. The registration link will be in the show notes. It's also on my website. And if you miss this one, there will be a next one. And if you're like, but wait, You convinced me.
I want to join the au pair program. Don't worry. I do info sessions rotating. So the next one after hire a nanny in five easy steps will be finding the right fit or pay essentials for physician moms. I will keep doing these information sessions. The information is on my website under the events tab in the physician lounge for moms, right?
So if you found this helpful, please share with another physician mom who may be looking for childcare. Make sure you rate and review the podcast. It helps a lot. get the message out to other physician moms and just continue the conversation, continue the support and grow this virtual village,
I will see you next time on another episode of stethoscopes and strollers.
