8. Breastfeeding and the LIES we tell

Welcome back to *Stethoscopes and Strollers*. In this episode, we dive into the realities of breastfeeding, dispelling common myths and discussing the pressures many moms, especially physician moms, face.

Episode Highlights:

- Debunking Common Myths: Addressing statements like "Breastfeeding helps you lose weight," "Breastfeeding protects you from postpartum depression," and "Breastfeeding comes naturally." While these might hold some truth, they often do a disservice by setting unrealistic expectations.

- Personal Experiences: I share my own breastfeeding journeys with my son and daughter, highlighting how each experience differed and the mental health challenges I faced.

- Supporting Moms' Choices: Emphasizing the importance of supporting moms in their feeding choices, whether it’s breastfeeding, formula feeding, or a combination. The goal is to reduce the pressure and guilt often associated with these decisions.

Key Messages:

- Breastfeeding Can Hurt: Despite the myth, breastfeeding can be painful even when done correctly. It’s essential to acknowledge this and provide proper support.

- Fed is Best: The pressure to breastfeed can negatively impact mental health. Prioritizing the mother’s well-being is crucial for both mom and baby.

- Cost of Breastfeeding: While often perceived as cheaper than formula feeding, breastfeeding comes with hidden costs, including time, supplies, and potential lost income.

Discussion Points:

- Impact on Mental Health: For many, the pressure to breastfeed can contribute to postpartum depression and anxiety. It’s important to recognize and address these mental health needs.

- Opportunity Costs: The financial and emotional investments in breastfeeding can be significant. Understanding and planning for these can help mitigate stress.

- The Complex Emotions: Breastfeeding can be both a cherished and traumatic part of motherhood. Acknowledging these complex emotions is vital for providing comprehensive support.

This episode aims to provide a balanced view of breastfeeding, highlighting both its challenges and joys. Whether you're a mom navigating your breastfeeding journey or a healthcare provider supporting lactating moms, understanding these realities can foster more compassionate and effective care.

Thank you for tuning in. See you next time on *Stethoscopes and Strollers* for more candid conversations about motherhood and medicine.

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Transcript

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Breastfeeding helps you lose weight.  

Breastfeeding protects you from postpartum depression. 

Breastfeeding comes naturally.  

Your body was meant to do this. 

Breastfeeding is not supposed to hurt,  if done correctly. 

 Breastfeeding is cheaper than formula feeding.  

Lies. All lies. Okay? Okay, maybe they're not lies. But, they are statements that really do a disservice to many moms and particularly many physician moms.  So,  I just want to give my disclaimer. I am not anti-breastfeeding.  I breastfed my son for 22 months, okay? I breastfed my daughter for 8 months.  And it's because of those two experiences that I feel this way, but quite honestly, I was always a fed as best girl because I'm an OB first, right? I care about Mom. I care about my patients. I care about that birthing person. And the pressure and stress of breastfeeding is often overlooked. And I never want to make someone feel bad just because they cannot or are not willing to do something, even if I know and I believe that it is the best thing for them and for their babies. 

But, once I went through this second postpartum experience, I was even more fed as best because I really felt how detrimental it was to my mental health trying to meet my breastfeeding goal.  So I really want to talk about this and  Bring some awareness to it and take it from two different perspectives, because you may be listening as a mom who may or may not have had breastfeeding challenges, but you may be listening as a physician who takes care of lactating people.

And it, I think having this different perspective can really help give better care and more sensitive. and patient-centered care.  Because one thing that I hear from many physician moms is that the people that make them feel the worst about their breastfeeding and breastfeeding journey are other healthcare professionals.

Their pediatrician, lactation consultants, well, lactation consultants make everybody feel bad. No shade to anybody who's listening, but that's just, that's just the truth.  And I really think that this is a huge area for us to improve in general with how we deal with people who choose to breastfeed, okay?

So my first,  in the beginning, there was some pain, which was expected, and that's when I, I realized there was a first lie, that breastfeeding doesn't hurt. There was nothing wrong with my latch, there was nothing wrong at all. It just hurt until it didn't.  And , I meant to get to a year. He said, Nope, I'm continuing to go. And I didn't care enough to really make a true effort to wean. He ended up weaning on his own at 22 months, and we were both happy with that. 

The second time around, it was very stressful for me.  It's only when I went back to do my research for my postpartum story episode that I realized how soon after having my daughter, I wanted to stop. In my mind, I had made it to like five, six months and was like, yeah, okay, this is tough. I want to stop.

But within weeks, of her being born, I told my friend, P, I was like, yeah, I want to give her a formula.  And even though she's a pediatrician, she fully supported me and I will be ever grateful to her for that. She didn't make me feel bad or anything like that, which is, from what I gather, a rare thing because, pediatricians tend to be baby-centered, as they should be, but, with a mom and baby, you really have to consider, the mom, right?

And what she is going through.  So my biggest thing was keeping up with her demand. I never had true supply issues. I can't even imagine if I really did, but it was bad enough where  I had to be so careful about my food intake, about my water intake, about not missing pumps, about not missing feeds, trying to figure out which side.

And it wasn't like that with my son. So that comparison between the two was also stressful, right? Because I was like, it wasn't this hard before. Why is it this hard now?  And, It just felt like my entire world was being ruled by this one thing, this one thing that hurt.  Because just like with the first, it hurt in the beginning, but it was a lot more painful than I remember.

And the difference was that with my son, my anatomy changed, my boobs got huge,  and they never really went back down. But then with the second pregnancy, My breasts got even bigger and so did my nipples so there was no amount of latch Nipple shield lactation consultants that could have made her mouth big enough for it to not hurt Until she grew and I think that in the combination of trying to figure out that you needed both sides and then later on how tenuous the supply was. was just too much for me to handle.

 And I kept pushing because my goal was, a year, I actually didn't want to go past a year, but I knew I wanted to at least get to a year. And it affected my sleep because I could not miss my nighttime pump. You know, my daughter slept through the night. pretty early on and When she stopped dream feeding I had to stay up and pump or else my supply would tank So I was already having sleep issues, which I'll talk about it on a different episode now I can't even try to get to sleep early because My supply will tank and it came to a point where I had to convince myself that it was okay for me to stop because of the anxiety that it provoked, because of, just how shitty it made me feel. Like I just, I couldn't wear what I wanted. I couldn't go where I wanted without all of this stuff. I had like five pumps.  It was just,  it was just a lot.  So as you can tell, it was a very traumatic experience for me. So Whenever I  hear that statistic about how breastfeeding protects you from postpartum depression, I'm like, okay,  that's not everybody.

And I know a lot of physician moms who feel the same way and say that it was a direct link to their postpartum depression, the pressure of breastfeeding, right? So that's, that's like the first lie.  The breastfeeding helps you lose weight was another lie. I didn't have issues with this pregnancy, but with my first I gained weight Breastfeeding I was heavier six months postpartum than I was right after I had my son you hear me  I was heavier six months postpartum than immediately postpartum, because of breastfeeding, because I did not expect how ravenous I would be. So we need to stop telling people that   I feel like one of the most damaging lies is this idea that your body was meant to do it. It comes naturally.  Because when you believe that, when you are socialized to think that this is correct and it does not work out or it is difficult, then the immediate thought is, well, there is something wrong with me. 

And the truth is, no, it doesn't come naturally to everyone, not to the mom or the baby.  So, I get why people say that because it can be encouraging,  but in any context, it can be a very harmful statement and we should really just stop saying that...   

And on the surface, breastfeeding may seem cheaper than using formula, but when you think about the opportunity costs of breastfeeding, the extra time off of work where you're not making money, all of the accouterment,  that comes along with successfully breastfeeding for one year, which is the goal of the majority of physician moms.  You need to buy pump supplies because most of us are going back to work. You have to replace that stuff frequently. We have to have wearable pumps because we're in the hospital, we're seeing patients. 

All of these things just add up. And like I said, I had five pumps and they were all used for different situations, different places in my house, for my locum's work, you know, one was for the car. And so sure, I didn't need to spend all of that money, but It was necessary for me at the time to maintain my supply to meet my breastfeeding goal.

So, while the cost may be less for a different person, in general, it does, it, it takes a lot of money to consistently breastfeed exclusively for six months and then to continue on for a year. So 

yes, we tell lots of lies when it comes to breastfeeding and I would like us to stop doing that. So, if you have been a victim of one of these lies, I hope this has made you feel a little bit better.  Or If you have breastfed or are currently breastfeeding and have been having the best time ever and have no idea what I'm talking about, that is wonderful for you.

 I have very complex emotions when it comes to breastfeeding. I actually loved it when it was great. Every time I see a breastfeeding mom.  It just, it warms my heart. It is like the cutest little thing. One of my clients breastfeeds every single session and we've been working together for like the last six months. 

I just, that the bond is so special. It is a part of my motherhood journey that I truly treasure,  but it is also a part of my motherhood journey that was truly traumatic. And Those things can be true at the same time. So I really hope that if you had no idea about any of this, that this gives you a new perspective and can help with any future interactions with another lactating person who may or may not be having the best time and just being a little bit more understanding about what they're going through

so,  Please share this with another breastfeeding mom, don't forget to leave us a five star review on Apple Podcasts, leave a five star rating on all other podcast platforms, share, follow, and come back next time for another episode of Stethoscopes and Strollers.